#vent bc feelings r too much
1 messages · Page 6 of 1
i cry
im nothing
im not worth anything
no one wants me
no one wants anythung to do w me
if they say they do i know its a lie
everyone is lying to me
i need to stop
just stop messaging
maybe then they wont have to feel guilty for dropping me
im making things harder for everyone
if i stop essaging it makes life easier
im gonna stop messaging to make it easy on her
she doesnt need me
its all a lie everytime she says she does
i dont believe her
see
theres proof
im making life so muc harder for her
i sai something ni the vent channel
i deleted it tho
someoneresponded and basically proved that what i was thinking was true
i need to stop
no one wants me
so im alone
im ok w being aloone
maybe i can lock myself in my room for the rest of my life
ill never amount to anything
its a lie
she doesnt want to be w me
im so sad
that means im a bad horse rider
i want to go riding again so bad
but mum forgot
its not her fault
shes had alot on today
im still so fucking sad
im crying at the thought of it
im ccrying
don think abt it
js dont
dont
think of something else
it keeps poppping up
put it away
put the thought away
i cant
im crying
i cant
im crying
if i go to jacaranda place i wnt be able to ride as much
ill get worse
i wont have any riding experiences
ill be bad
ill be bad
i wont want to be bad
i want to e good
i want to be happy and good
why am i so like fragile
smallest thing sends me into a panic and like depression
i notice everything that could even the slightest mean bad towards me
and it makes me so upset
that i cant bounce back like at all
i dont know whats fucking wrong with me
im so upset
i want to go horse riding
i want to be a good rider
i want to be good
im so fucking upset
im so upset i cant like function
i cant stop cryign
every time i think about it
i got in trouble
im crying more
im a disappoointment
im a failure
i shoulndt have asked for the food
i wouldve eaten it
but i cant know
now
ill throw up
i shouldnt have told my mum i wasnt feeling goo and why
because its made her feel bad
whihc gets me in more trouble'
i cant stop crying
im so
gone
im so gone
i dont want to eat i dont want to eat i dont want to eat
i keep stoppung crying and then i think and it starts again
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
n
o
im hyperventilating
i cant do this
i cant see
i canyt dp this
no
no
no
nono
mo
no
o
i cant gbreathe
im gonna play star stable
thaat wil make everything bretree
i tuined everyrhing again
i keep sending messages whne i say i wont
its all my fault
its all my fault
its absoluteky all my fault
im ruining everything
i need to just leave her alone
its ok
i deleted it
i dont think she saw
so its ok
itll be ok
she will keep having fjn
i can try and regulaye myself
its ok
nope
she foesnt care
and thats ok
ill be ok by myself
im gonna turn my phone off fully
its ok
that means i was the only one having fun\
i was proud of myself but i shouldnt have been bc i didnt even make her smile
i have horrible luck
she keeps saying its extra special because of me
i dont understand why
why is it more special w me
what so good abt me
i cant understand why
ok so
i think i figured it out
ots not because its ME
itd because im the girlfriend
like
its because im a girlfriend
if IIII was js a friend then it wouldnt be special
but if III was w girlfiend its special
bc its not the me part
its the having a girlfriend part
that makes alot more sense
i think bonnie hates me too
she doesnt come in tom e anymroe
she prefers my sister more
i understand whybbut it still hurts
i dont even have a dog anymore
im crying
my brain cant give me a moment of peace
i want to die
or i want some sort of alcohol
fucking unlucky my mum isnt an alcoholic
if i reconnect w my dad i would have access to alcohol
im so fucking
whts wrong with me
why am i so f
why am i so ugly
im so gross
i dont believe her when she says im pretty
its not true
ive gained weight
i feel so gross
i am so gross
why do the grams matter so much to me
sgsatfgf
im the latter
im gonna stop eating fatty foods
none
ill only eat stuff w low calories and protein
im cryung
im so fucking gross
im literally a chud
im so gross
i hate myself so much
i want to disappear
i hate being me i wnt to be literally anyone else
i want to sleep all day and never wake up
i have no one and nothing
i cant stop crying
i hate myself so muh its unbearable
its not true
i dont believe it
im so useless
im a horrible girlfriend
i cant even rep’y to the simplest of stuff
im ceying
i lost mt appetite
ive had chocolate and five crackers today and itd 1:34pm
im so
i want to fucking die
i dont like being me
i dont like being conscious
im fuckinf useless
i hate being me
please
anyone else wanna swap
please
i wish i wasnr safe
i want a rucking blade
please
can someone like lend me one
please
was she lying
why does no one like me
no one trusst
me
everyone lies to me
nothing is true
i dont believe any of it
i dont want to talk or see anyone dver again
all everyone does is lie to me
i want to go back to sleep
sad
alone
maybe ill meet someone at jacaranda place
i washedy hair
took two hours
and my cut might be infected
if it is infected i might have to go to the emergency department
im gonna go into my tent so i can cry
i dont have anyone
bonnies making my bed for me
im very unfortunate looking
thats the only way i can describe myself
unfortunate looking
i look like takeichi from no monger humzn
im so depressed tjat no one dants to taoj to me
i have no friends
i have absolutely no one
im trying not to cry because im in the car
i will when i get home
i went on a trail ride
it was scary but still logs of fun
i got so scared bc george was going so fast
i màagadd to slow him down
towards the end of the ride i was like actually gonna throw up it was so bad
im ok now
but i geniinely thpught i was going to theow up
i think it was feom the heat and dehydration
it was 2-3pm in queensland heat
so very hot
and i have pots so
yummy fainting
this helped distract me feom crying
i think thats good
i did’t het any pictures of george bc ppl i had met before had come for a ride w their mum
i was so scared of them
i could barely give george the rest of his treats i was so scared
i did give tjem to him tho
and i like kylie and i think she likes me so irs ok
copper and patches pictures for anyone reading this because i miss copper
im so alone
ive got nothing
absolutely nothing
im so sad
im hust sad and lonely
i got a full combo on my first try before
thats something good
but rhe reaction wasnt good
so i dont think its very impressive
i got a coraline doll
that makes me happy
not happy enough tho
maybe i should play star stable
i hate myself
im so
gone
im so gone
6 hours
6 days i meant
i have no one
no one likes le
no one wants to talk to me
my psychiatrist said i was really fun znd nice to talk to but i think its only like for small talk
just ok the surgace
no one actually wants to become close w me im js like
a filler
for when theyre bored
i cant even cry im so gone
jacaranda place tomorrow
i dont want to go
i want to stay in my bed for the rest of my life
i could be a good rider if i had any sense of confidence
i want to fuckinf hzng myself
sayori
i have no one
ashpwwnlhd
i dont
have anyon
im making it difficult
thats all i do in life
its ok
i donr want to andwer
no u dont
ur lying
to me
am i toxuc
i think im toxic
i dont want that
im being an abuser again
im just
a bad person
oh
thats what i am
i am a bully
im bullyinf her
oh
im
a horrible person
im
horrible
im bullying znd absuign her
like i always have
maybe everyone else can sense that im a horrible person
and that is why no one likes or wants to ralk to me or be around me
thats ok
i think
i think i fucked up her night
i might be the reason she does that
its ok
as long as she gets joy from somewhere
i think im ok w it
im still sad i couldnt help
but its ok
ill be ok
i think ill js sit in my sadness for a bit
itll be ok
im on my way to javaranda place
the dogs werz conginczd they were coming w us
we had ro carry an fpush them back inside the house
bonnie was sitting in the car gor 15 minutes
i think im gon’a cry
i want to go home
i dont want to be here
i relaly dont want to be here
i just want to go gome
i dont want to be here
i dont want her to know im not ok
i dont want ro five her more to worry abt
i need to blow my noss
i want to fo home
van my mym please pick me up
i dont want to be here for theee months
i just want to fo gome
im tired and i want my bed
i want my bed and my dogs
and my safety
i want to go gome
i dont want to be here
someone get me out of here please
i thpight i could do this but i cant
i dont wang to be here
please someone
get me pit of here
i want to go home
im sad
and lonely
i think im all alone
i want to go home
my hand is shaking so much
like so muvch
YAY
im shakibngg so much
im crying
so bad
im so alone
i have no one
im shaking so much
i cant be there for her im sorry
i want to leave
i dont want to do this
i dont matter
im crying
im crying
this is so much
im in a fucking mental institution
the other kids invited me to go watch a movie with them
maybe that wouldve been better than this
i couldve maybe made friends
next time i will
i dont like this
im shaking so much and i cant get the tears out of my eyes
lol no
im scared
im so scared
im so fucking scared
hah that one meme
im so sacred
im shaking so mmuhc
not even my hands only now my whole body
my head is shaking now too
my entire body is shaknig
my breath is shaky now
im gonna stand up and walk around my room
maybe that will help
i did jellyous dance
my legs were shaking
i think im ok now
i think
my heart is beatig fast from it tho help
ok back in my 'bed'
this is my room
is sigma
i have alot of money on whi
i need MORE tho
my heart is still racing from that
i want to go home
she may be hiding from me
but that is ok
i understand
why is he like this
why did he do that
im so
like almost disgusted
why tf id he do that
just why
its so fucking gross
and just plain mean
why is he hurting someone i love and trying to include me in it
HER of ALL PEOPLE
im goung to tell her i refuse to keep anythingsecret from her
but i hate that he has done this
fucking crying for the third time today
i was gonna watch a movie and go to the park w my new friends but i think ive fucked everything up w parthena and i cant fukcing lesbe my room right now either
i want to go home
i want to go home
i dont want to be here
i want to go home
it wôt eveb be home anymore
i wont have my stuff
ill be alone
fucking done
i dont want that fucking bitch to come î ahain
LIAM
HE SAID
HE SAID THAT MIZ WAS PUTTING TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME
DOEDNT HE
FUCKING REALISE
HOW MICH HE HIMSELF IS PUTTIN GON ME NOW
IM FUCKING
IM SO PISSED OFF
AND FUCKÎG DONE
IM SO FUCKING DONE
I CANT DEAL W HIS SHIT
ITS TOO FUCKING MUCJ
I CANT DEAL WITH IT
i have screenshots
alot just happened
im
i want to go home
i want to see maggie
i want to go home
i cant tell who is gaslighting me
liam says its mia
but i trust mia more than him
i dont think shes lying
he said some really bad things about her
i used to respect him so much and listen to everything he said
because i thought he was really good
and now idk
im lkke
i cant tell
who is lying to me
i know mia is telling the truth
so it must be liam
but what if liam is telling the truth
he knows alot
hes smart
but he also never really liked that mia and i were dating
and hes been really childish and doing weird shit
idk
im 14
i shouldnt be dealing w ts
am i in the wrong?
what if i am
what do i do if im in the wrong
i apologised to him
i really am sorry i wasnt good enough for him
i tried so hard
i listened to him
i always made him fele better
everytime he even the slightest wasnt included i woul always include him
i always put him above me
was i in the wrong despite all that?
i cant tell
i cant tell
i want to go home
i want to go home and see maggie
i dont want to be in this new pllace
i feel bad for charlie
idk
im
i cant tell
i dont have anyone
and im sabotaging myszlf
i tried to talk in huddle geberal and people have onlt responded w like not very nice stuff
i shouodnt bave caught the cat
im cryung
its not alright
im so sorry
im horrible
i stole the cat
oh my god
im horrible
i stole the cat
i shoudlnt ahve caught it
i just probablh ruined everything
any chance i had at making a new friend
i ruined it bc i caught a fucking cat
whats wrong with me
i did the wrong thing
its all my fault
im horrible
why do i keep fucking everything up
its all my fault
whats wrong with me
why do i keep doing this
i want to did
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
i want to die
im horrible
im just a burden to everyone
my mym and sister are so much happier without me
bonnie is fine without me
copper has regula
mia has friends and a support system
no one needs me
i should dosappear
never message anyone again
im fucking horrible
im crying
im really crying
im alone
im so alone
no one needs me
im all alone
im alone
its all my fault
its my fault im alone
i did everyrhing
i made the choices znd this is where i ended up
its my fault
its all my fault
i fucked everything up
i make everyone feel bad
i make evzeyone feel bad and not good
im the reason no one is happh
i dont actually have any problems
its a lie
its all a lie
i have no joy
why am i still alive
i have no options on how to kill myself
i can js stop eating
i ate properly for the first time inna few days
but i was still eating
i need to js
fucking stop
so i can die
i want to die i want to die i want to die
drinking water makes me want to throw up
i cant
i want to fucking die
i told her
everything
and she still wont fucking let me go
i have no hop
hope
im going to dir
i have no hope
ive given up
im crying because im drinking water
i hate it so much
im gonna did
i hate water
i want to throw ip
its so gross
im so
i drank the whole water bottle
i cant stay alive
if i die my mum won't have to worry or be burnt out or traumatized anymore
i fucked uo
i fucked up again
i need more messages to be said so i can delete that
im sosorry jia
i fucked up
i shouldnt have sent that gif
fuck
i dont deserve to eat i keep ruining everyones times
im glad sh has jia
im sad i dont have anyone
i never will
i need to give up
i keep being so fuk ing depressed
im ruining her time
she doesnt need someone who is never ok and is always depressed
i dont want to message her
shes much better without me
i thought i couldnt cry anymore
i was wrong
no u wont
ur lying
i dont beleive u
im so lazy
im such a fat fucking chud
i want to cry im so upset
i cant do anything and even if i wanted to idk what i would do
im so fucking upset
im so lazy
i never do anything
worst part is that im the problem
not anyone else
js me
im trying not to cry
what do i even do
im so fucking upset
im getting nowhere in my life
im so
i want to disappear
i wont get better
im not going to get better
nothing can help me
trying not to cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
im so fucking useless
my interests r shit
no one likes them
or hearing abt them
i need to stop talking abt them
no one cares
would star stable make me feel better
idek atp
i want it to
i want something to
im so
gone
im so gonoe
maybe star stable is a good thing
its all a lie
no one is telling me the truth
i dont believe it
im such a fat fucking chud
i need to stop eating
if i stop eating i get stuff i love taken away from me
does she hate me
or is it a bit
i cant tell
i cant tell
does she hate me
have i done something
i thought i was perfect
i try so hard
to be perfect for everyone
no dinner for meeeeeee
i dont mind if she messages someone else who can match her energy
im not gonna get better
she needs someone better
i donnt actually have any problems or reaosn to be like this either
i js dont have any good like memories
like there was never a name i really wanted either
i hate my name
its so gross
im not amounting to anything
i know i say it alot
but i just cant do anything
theres nothing impressive inmy life
why did i wonder that
maybbe i shouldve oded younger is my thought process ig?
idk
its icky
i think it makes me feel kind of sad bc its lke im not good enoough and i havent dne good enough
and definately envious
like i wish i had good interests
and i had done so much more
!rank
i want to be pink
give me pink
tarararararararra
what if i js spam this
will that get me up kevels
i wish i could pay robux to go up levels
i want to play my horsi game
what is my problem
i feel weird
and not in the good way
ok
i feel
shame
jealousy
sadness
and guilt
thats what im feeling
sbimdmedeaikgiafwi
jbsigsammaishgmfad
sbsiaomismdtihatiflshmaspttop
gbindge
pain
im
gross
i keep trying to make friends and no one actually likes meor wants tobe my friend
i joined a new server tho so maybe i can make friends there
they seem pretty nice
it still makes me upset tho
bc i dont have anyone
and im not succeeding
maybe
wsgicdmle
i think i will do that
this one especially is really taking a toll on me
which is gross
i shouldnt feel like that
why does it cover and center over all of my thoughts
how do i get more sertraline so i can overdose
i dont want to answer
i feel bad but idrtph
i want to
stop feeling
im probably going to become an alcoholic or a drug addict
i dont think theres an option out there for me to not
anything to cope ig
i should go to mountain islnd i think
why do i feel like this
why do i do this
i dont want to step up
but i need to
im stepping up again im pissed now
my sister put the remote in my hand and now my hand feels weird and gros
i hope my mum will let me have more roblox time
my sister keeps tiuching me
i feel so gross now
i already showered today too
i cant move my leg bc my puppys on it too
so i cant wipe the feeling of my sisters hair off it
i didnt do my excercises
im a lazy fucking fatass
dumb fucking chud
my mum js told me u can die from being in a refridgerator
thats an option
im gonna do my excercises so i can feel better
i shouod’t have eaten donner
its too late to throw it up now too
tomorrow i wont
i dont believe it
eugh
im a bad rider
like
really bad
im not a good hprse rider at all
im fucking dog shit
yay
i dont have anything interesting about me
like i dont know how to do conversations
im not like
interesting
im just
existing
and thatd it
eug
i can go to illit server
i can maybe make some friends there
i think people just dong like me
i messaged illit server and the entire chat went silent
sadness
i can play my poni game
i wanted to do paperxraft but i lost motivation
now im js sitting on my phone sad
i want it to be 12 o clock
i want to do lego w merlin
maybe we can get bubble tea too
my puppy is dreaming
why am i so sad
nothings making me happy
how do i be happy
am i js gonna be depressed for the next two hours
theres no place for me
im not anywhere
maybe i should js go read my depressing book
yozo 🤝 me
(minus sexism
that bits nasty
but other than that we r twins
im so fuxking
empty
let me disappear
gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone gone
im gonna play poni game
maybe it will make me feel better
it doesnt make me feel better unless im on my laptop but i want to save my laptop time for pony game w her
i have pink fluffy blanket atleast
run blanket run
ok
go
poni game
feel better
fo something that will help u
go
dr jiwon made me feel better
and now im listening to kpop ggs to keep me happy
thus was the board
hes the one thats closer to empathy and im the one closer to sympathy
ok so
empathy is being able to read other peoples emotions and sympathy is FEELING others emotions
im super shy super shy
i need to protect my good mood
bro ifk where merlin is going
U DONT EVEN KNOW MY NAME DO UUUUUUUUUU
U DONT EVEN KNOW MY NAME DO UUUUUUUUUUU
shes tryna go to gyg but is failing horribly HELP
i love girl groups
they make the best songs
im getting better
i need to get even more better
i love 3rd 4th and 5th gen ggs
ONE LOOK GIVE EM WHIPLASH
WAIT YEAH NO I DID THAT DAY ONE NO I BEEN BAD
IN MYYY DREAMS U LOVEEE MEEEE BACKKKKKKKKKKK
ITS SO PEAK
protect
protect
protecg
keep breathing
wonhee car
STOP I LOVE THE HIGH NOTES
i cant message her
shes not feeling good
she doesnt want to hear from me
so im going to spam this HELP
OMG IFEYE CAME ON
merlin got her gyg
OMG THERES A PONY ON THE ALBUM COVER
im sweating sm its so hot and i dont have my water bottle
merlin has gyg atleast tho
im saying the wrong things
i dont know how to stop
i want to disappear
im ruining everytjing
GUYSSSSSSSSSSS
I MADE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM SO EXCITED
im worried abt her tho
shes been gone for 30 minutes
and she might be in alot of trouble
i hope shes ok
ok
shes safe
i can relax now
dr jiwon was right bro i need to stop being sympathetic
im always wrong
it makes me kind of sad
!rank
heart attacj by chuu peak
people are nice
why do people like le
its a genuine quesyion
i dont understand why
ok
im gonna say ut
i think her thing truggers me
and makes me more insecure and upset
so im gonna try and ignorz it and talk abt it w maggie
and get better and accept it
so i can support her
i saw the message and wanted to cry
but im ok niw
merlins gonna be w me until 5 i think😭😭😭
ill ask mum if i can have a sleepover tho
hopefully it will be a yes becaus eive been doing so much
also my headphones werz on 20 percent at 9:30am this morning and they just went flat now at 2:35pm
and i was using them nonstop all day
so props to my headphones
i hate my stomach
and my arms
and my cheeks
and my legs
theyre all so gross
but i hate my stomach the most
ist so
icky
i hate looking at it
i hat looking at myself
im so gross
i hate myself
i dont want to face anyone
im so gross
i failed
at everything
im such a pain
i made her not feel good
i do believe her
but i think im still not gonna talk abt it
or atleast try to
bc she doesnt need it
and also its js negativty
and i dont want the chance for it to be affecting it to even exist
lwokey maybe should i stop trying
i think i should
idk
i cant ever follow through
im giving up
i should do dancing
maybe that will helo
im fonna disappear
bye guys
idek
idk what to do
minsung frfr
ive fuckinf ruined everything
i always do
dr jiwon wzs roght
im making jer worse
im gucking
ruining everything








idk what to do
im just going to cry
no gifs yet
love, older you
i need to be older
so i can do that for myself
i want to be older
so i can tell my younger (current) self that its gonna be ik
bc theres no proof roght now
theres no proof ill make it to 16
two years away but still
theres no proof ill make it to 15
or atleast if i do i will live an actual life