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787 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

reef crescent
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woah i feel so cool having my own journal

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i have no one to talk to so finna jsut talk to myself ig 😭

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yk what i realised today, SO MANY PPL are ||suicidal||

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so many ppl

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crazy

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it's kinda hard to know that so mnay ppl want to kill themselves

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man i wish it was as easy to do it as it was to say it sometimes

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tmrrw is MONDAY

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which sucks

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bc last week i realised i had a crush on one of my bsf

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and i thought i was straight

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but apparently not

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and if my parents ever found out i wasnt straight i would prob be screwed bc we're Christian

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wooo

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😭

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and i have no one to talk to about this

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so i gotta keep it all to myself

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and the one person i used to talk to this stuff about i dont talk to anymore bc my parents told me to stop talking to her

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bc she's into crystals

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and my parents said that was bad enough for me to stop talking to her

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we havent spoken for like 2 months and i feel bad

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and i dont want to just come out of no where and start talking to her again

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bc maybe she doesn't want to talk to me

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and i dont want to dump all my problems on her

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just because im lonely and dont have any friends i can talk to about this 😭

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and half my other friends are away on camp this week so my social anxiety is gonna be so bad this week 😭

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ughh

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cupid's journal

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i love my grammar 😭

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fixed it tho :3

reef crescent
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ughh lowkey hate my fam

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everyone just keeps yelling

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||honestly wish i had the guts to kms right about now ||

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kinda wanna go on a walk

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maybe my parents will let me

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hopefully

reef crescent
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just trying to survive

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just triving to survive

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just trying to survive

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just trying to survive

reef crescent
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im so lonellyyy

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oh so lonely

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fuck

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why dont i have any frineds

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im so nice whenever anyone wants to vent to me!

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ig id feel like a burden even if someone said they'd be fine with me talking to them

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i hate my fucking life

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fuck

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everyday i wish i wouldve ||killed myself|| when i had the guts too

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maybe my family wouldnt hate me as much as they do now

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or maybe they would

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i feel like im always there for other people

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WHY IS NO ONE

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FUCKING

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THERE

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FOR ME

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I NEVER GET ANGRY

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EVEN WHEN I WANTED TO FUCKING

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||KMS||

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I WAS STILL A TERRIBLE FUCKING PERDSON

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IT WASNT

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"THATS AWFUL"

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"IM HERE TO HELP"

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NOPE

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JUST UR FUCKING SELFISH

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WELL FUCK MAYBE I AM

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BUT I DONT WANT TO LIVE ANOTHER FUCKING DAY OF THIS HELL

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FUCK

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ugh fucking ||kill me||

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||hang me from a fucking tree||

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||maybe then i could die with a fucking smile of hope||

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||that this pain could actually end||

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man i do sound crazy

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my days 😭

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why is the world so fucked up

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ppl getting saed and cheating on

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people suck

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||suicide|| is guiding this entire generation with a flick of its wrist

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it's terrifying

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i just want someone to talk to man

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i feel like everyone hates me

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even online

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like the fuck did i do

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probs everything

reef crescent
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finally got home from school!

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and my crush was so cute today 🥹

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gosh she's adorable

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im gonna be able to go on a walk cause its sunny

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which is nice

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fam stuff is still going on a bit and im not rlly talking to my sibling but

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ig its ok

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ive thought so many times of deleting this until i realised that i lit keep all these emotions in on a day basis

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which is prob not too good

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so i shall continue to vent on here lmao

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i wish i could protect my crush how i want to tho

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she's going through so much w/ her friends

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and i feel like an asshole bc im not there for her like i want to be

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and she doesnt see me as a person that is beyond any of here other frineds

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im not special to her

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what she tells me she tells everyone

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i wish that she trusted me

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i wish that i could be everything she complains her bsf isnt

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i wish i could help her

reef crescent
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just got back from meh walk

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i need to shower but i cant be bothered 😭

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i also got homework to do which sucksss

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but atleast my parents let me have most of the week off cause of camp so i wont be dying with no friends

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how kind of them sparing me

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i got 8k steps today and its kinda pissing me off i didnt get 10k

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but oh WELL

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i think i want to write some poetry tonight but what to write about

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feelings?

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feelings suck

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who wants to read about feelings

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surely not me

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all my friends r offline and idk the ppl in the main servers

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i feel like that one outcast in all the groups of ppl who know eachother in a room

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lol

reef crescent
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yoo yooo

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family is still fighting 😭

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ughh

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||kill me||

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i wanna talk to someone but i got no friends :c

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oof

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anyway

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im hungry :I

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i gotta wait until foodd

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bro i could not smile today

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except w/ my crush lol'

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bro i feel depresso why cant i feel happiness 😭

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i love moosic

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i love conan gray

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<333

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my parents are tryna get me to pick up an extra cirricular outside of school

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which i kinda wanna do but i kinda dont bc

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WHYY

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LIKE I DONT WANNA BE AROUND MORE PPL

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but also i kinda want have something to do that kinda lets my anger out like a sport

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or dancing or some shit

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ugghh

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i hate ppl

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its kinda weird to think someone might actually be reading this lol

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i like reading other ppls journals

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is that weird?

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idk i like to see what other ppl have going on

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most of them are pretty sad tho

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i mean i do reply when i can cause like if ur struggling i wanna help but also

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like

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free entertainment???!!

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idk maybe im just a bad person 😭

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why r all chats dead

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and the only chat thats alive i have no one to talk to cause idk anyone

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oof

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why do i have social anxiety online?

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im such a weirdo 😭

reef crescent
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I feel like a terrible Christian

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I haven't been honouring God at all

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I've been swearing when i shouldnt be

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I've been having these thoughts of lust towards women

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which i shouldnt be

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and I feel terrible about it

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its hard when everyone around me is ok with who they are

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and it feels like all im reminded is who not to be

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I hated myself when I was the perfect Christian

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and i hate myself even more when im the imperfect Christian

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ugh why is this so hard

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why am i such a bad person

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starting from now

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im gonna

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stop swearing

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im gonna

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focus on God

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i rly should cut out secular music that usually helps

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oufebfsuefeisf

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AHHHHH

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anywho ima go get ice cream

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and breathe

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and

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yk

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try to convince myself the world isnt over

reef crescent
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why the one time i find friends on here

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then im sad bc i feel unproductive

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girl u would be on ur device anyway

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oof

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im talking to this on dc

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and he's ranting about his ex gf and what she did

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and her entire life story

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lol

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its kinda entertaining tbh

reef crescent
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hello helloooo

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today was honestly rlly hecktic lol

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ive been busy

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but i had no school today which was nice

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i was talking to a friend last night on dc and he said that i should jsut forget my crush since im religious and i shouldnt have feelings for her

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but like that sounds terrible!

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i really dont want to do that

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last night was fun tho bc i spoke w/ a few of my online friends

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my minds kinda all over the place now tho

reef crescent
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ughh i hate my fam

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i swear they do everyhting just to annoy me

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im just trying to exist bro!

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ugh

reef crescent
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im hungryy

reef crescent
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broo why cant i be straight

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tis my brain sometimes

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why cant i be normal for once?!

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i need to go to bed

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im crashing out over nothing

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but i havent typed in here most of the day

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so we need my daily crash out

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ugh

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its kinda weirdly comforting in a way to know that im not the only one struggling with what we call LIFE

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i wrote a poem today i think its rlly cool

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but i dont have anyone to show

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cause my only good friend rn is doing schoolwork

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and i dont want to put it in the poetry server

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wait

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he's texitng meh

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i sent him my poem :3

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and he said he liked it

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ig ill have to believe him

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cause its kinda sad lmao

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not like everyhting i write is sad-

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but

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do you ever think about how we spend so long talking to someone online and one day we just

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wont talk to them ever again

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and like u smile when u see their texts now

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but one day u will either hate seeing their texts

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or not see them anymore

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and ull be sad bc of that

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ig id rather let it fade out then do what i normally do which is just block everyone lol

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i get scared ppl r gonna like

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idk find me or smthn

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lol

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not me just being rlly paranoid

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anyway

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i talk so much

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this journal is at like 200 messages

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i think only like one person read this

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and left like an emoji

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lol

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i dont think any actually reads this

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its prob in the backrooms of the huddle journals

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i swear the only reason im on this server is for the journal

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the main chats suck

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no offence but all the ppl here suck

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the all know eachother that know eachother

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and u cant get into to any friend groups

reef crescent
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theres this other guy i met on dc

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and yk what i think abotu daily

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the fact that he was gonna send me pics of his ||sh|| on his leg

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that

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ughghgh

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wouldnt have been good

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and now he doesnt rlly talk to me

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which u can argue is a good thing

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but

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idk i still think about it

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i should rlly go to bed

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im overthinking now

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but there's this friend that wants to tlak to me

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and i feel guilty if i go to bed

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but i had such a good sleep cycle when i didnt have dc

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and when i go back to school im gonna have to stay off dc for like an entire week at a time

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expect for when im prob just writing in here cause i can do that anytime

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anyway i might go to bed

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bc i want to get up early tmrrw

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gnn

reef crescent
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fam is still fighting

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ugh

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somebody hearted this

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WHY R YALL READING THIS?

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my life is not entertaining 😭

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i got more schoolwork i gotta dooo

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i think im gonna go on a walk a bit later today

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so there's less ppl everywehre lol

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i was suppose to do science revision yesterday

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but the work we've been doing makes no sense

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we're doing like mixtures and crap

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chemistry 😭

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ayy i got like hardly anythign i gotta do for school today

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ayyy

reef crescent
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i just painted my nails :3

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i feel prettyy

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discord is kinda dead

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no ones around O.o

reef crescent
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OMD why do i have fans?

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so many ppl 🤩 (only 4)

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i did kinda a selfcare night tonight

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i feel like

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tHat guRl

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mMm yAss qUUeen

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im hungryy

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dinners soon so i gotta wait 😭

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why r all the servers like

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kinda dead tbh

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like the same couple ppl just talking about stuff i have no idea about

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and all my other dc friends are at school

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love time diffs

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today was pretty chill tho

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cause i didnt have much to do

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tomorrow im home alone tho so i might make some like muffins or smthn

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tehehe

reef crescent
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bro help

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fam is still fighting 😭

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i love conan gray bro

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i auditioned for production at my school this year

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and got ensemble

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they just put up the videos of the leads dancing

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and man i was terrible

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they're so much better than me

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bro why do i suck at so many things

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i feel so untalented

reef crescent
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i hate my life

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||kill me||

north shell
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Rn

reef crescent
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WHYY

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😭

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love reading my trauma 😗

north shell
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Smtg over here felt interesting

reef crescent
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looll

north shell
reef crescent
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u read all of ittt? :o

north shell
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Yes I did

reef crescent
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omd ☺️

north shell
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I'm a really curious person actually

reef crescent
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loll

north shell
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Reading people's journal

reef crescent
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am i interestinng :D

north shell
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Even if idk them is kinda interesting

north shell
reef crescent
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lool

north shell
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Did you wished people stumble upon this or not?

reef crescent
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well i mean its online so

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idk

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lol

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just another person complaining about life 😭

north shell
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Complain?

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Idts

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If you don't mind telling, what's your age?

reef crescent
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id rather not say 😅

north shell
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Alr alr

reef crescent
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OMD HOW

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THIS MAN

north shell
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Yes?

reef crescent
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nah my friend found my journal looll

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cause he said he wanted to read it

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😭

north shell
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Ohh mb

reef crescent
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looll

twin schooner
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That's Hella interesting twin

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I read all of that btw

reef crescent
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what part u up to

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U READ ALL OF IT??

twin schooner
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Yeah

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Everything

reef crescent
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omd

twin schooner
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Yep

reef crescent
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do u think im crazy 😭

twin schooner
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🐥

twin schooner
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You can crashout w me if you felt to do it 🐥

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shy

reef crescent
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LOL

twin schooner
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🤣

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That was Hella good tho

reef crescent
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THATS AMAZING

reef crescent
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HOW IS IT GOOD THO

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LIKE

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now ima have to wait till ur all gone so i can crashout in here again

twin schooner
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Woah

twin schooner
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Believe me twin

reef crescent
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now ur just gonna be here

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whenever i write crashouts

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read at ur own risk

twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
twin schooner
reef crescent
twin schooner
#

Alpha Cupid

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😛🐥

reef crescent
#

frr

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fams going to bed

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thats super slay

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now i can like stay up

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and be alpha

twin schooner
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Yayy

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Cupid is gonna be alphaaaa

reef crescent
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frr

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omd i feel so nice when i say ppl can vent to me

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until they vent to me

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and im like

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iofbuevs9sifesfyegsjfksfs

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okay catbot no one asked for ur opinion

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today has been a weird day

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my crashouts

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are now like beautiful

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idk whether thats a beautiful thing

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or a horrid thing

reef crescent
#

just listened to a friend of mine rant about their relationship

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then listened to my mum rant about how she hates lesbians

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😭

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lowkey might go to bed soon

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am eepy

reef crescent
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ngl i should prob go to beddie soon

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am tired

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life do be sucking

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i need to sleep today off 😭

reef crescent
#

sup

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finna make muffins today

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MUFFINS

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delicious

reef crescent
#

yoo yoo

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offically home alone

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enjoying lifeee

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listening to moosic and making muffins >:3

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i ran out of mixture so i could only make 10 and not 12 :c

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but i may make another batch

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🤔

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i do have schoolwork to do tho 😭

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so i gotta do that

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all my friends on dc r at school 😭

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bums

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im not at school again until next wednesday

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cause i took this week off bc of camp

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and then we have a long weekend public holiday

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whcih means no socialising

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which

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isnt a bad thing but i might go insane

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w/ my fam

reef crescent
#

how does one math

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ima bout to crashout

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I HATE MATHSS

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UGH

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i made mah muffins

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they lowkey look like actual dogpoop

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but they taste fire so

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i aint mad

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🔥

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ughhh

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im crashing out over this maths bro

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i wanna bang my head on a brick wall

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😭

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omd i love billie eilish

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its been 30 mins and im still confused

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yoo i got some right

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food time

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screw dis

reef crescent
#

just finished a workout

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oof

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i wanna go on a walk but i have to wait until my fam comes home

reef crescent
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oh i hate being a woman 😭

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craammpss

reef crescent
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bro im so bored

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chats r deadd

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:c

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im all alooneee

reef crescent
#

help someone in one of the servers was like

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"does anyone know a harmless way to take my own life"

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im like

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bro yes i do but i aint gonna tell u that!

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and he said he didnt wanna tlak about it

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and now im scaredd cause i feel like i couldve helped

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like i sent him a message

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so hopefully he replies

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but

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last night my mum said she might be kicking out my older brother bc he's lowkey just like yelling all the time

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and im scared bc she did it to my other brother too

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and she called the police so i think she wants to do that again'

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but last time she kept saying it was my fault bc i said i was suicidal while my older brother was living here

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bc of the fighting

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and im scared she's gonna just blame me

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and it's just gonna be me and her

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and im gonna have no other family if this happens

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fuck

twin schooner
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Demn 😭

reef crescent
#

LOL

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WHY R U READING ALL THIS

reef crescent
twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
reef crescent
#

TECH YEAH BUT LIKE

twin schooner
#

Yupp

reef crescent
#

yupp

reef crescent
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LOL

twin schooner
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...

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Lmaooo

reef crescent
#

i wanna

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go on a walk

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then eat dinner

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thats gonna be the plans

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then everyones gonna be at home tmrrw

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and its gonna be raining

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oh but like later in the day

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and its halloween 😭

reef crescent
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help i think im going insane

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ive been inside all day

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😭

twin schooner
reef crescent
#

i went on a walk and i didnt have music

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so i was like very observate

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so

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this is what i observed

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so there was this mum YELLING at her kids and she was so mean 😭

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lowkey childhood flash backs

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and then there were these 2 girls with their dogs

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at the park

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and they were lowkey judging me i swear

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anywho

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i had food

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which was good stuff

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now ima go read

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and then i may watch love island with the fam

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why r they kinda nice tonight?

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anywho

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we love watching ppl do random things on love island!

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woo

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but needless to say im not mad i just want my music on my walks back

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so hopefully by tmrrw

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but anywho

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i lowkey might play my guitar if i have time tonight

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that might be fun

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i lowkey wanna write

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writers block is real

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the imaginary friends have been SILENT

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i have NO motivation

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ugh

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but we'll see

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i lowkey need to clean my room too

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i got clothes to put away

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and i got a new dresser the other day

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it was second hand so the top draw doesn't work

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and the other 2 are a been rusty

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but it works

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and im happy

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and i can put a lot more clothes in there

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and all my stuff and my jewelry on top

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and it looks rlly nice

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and my fairylights wrap around it

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it;s rlly pretty

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especially at night

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and i can get ready at it

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i feel like a pretty princess 🥹

twin schooner
reef crescent
#

OMD WHY R U HERE

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help this one friend of mine hasnt replied to me and im concerned

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he ||self harms||

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and he hasnt replied

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and idk whether thats a good thing cause he's socialising

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or a bad thing because he might've relapsed

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fuigfrdgigrdoifdhwaapiofwa

north shell
#

Hope he will be alright

reef crescent
#

hopefully 🤞

north shell
#

YES!

twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
twin schooner
#

...

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Yepp I do

reef crescent
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its a long story 😭

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and a wild one of how i know

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but that kids

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is prob not a story ur gonna wanna hear 😭

twin schooner
#

😭😭

twin schooner
reef crescent
twin schooner
reef crescent
twin schooner
#

Okaiiiiiii

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Cat bot needs to stfu 😭

reef crescent
#

frr

reef crescent
#

EUOFGUESIFGESUFEIUGFS

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sigh

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who knew venting about random crap would make you feel better

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SIGH

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so

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tomorrow i have like one class to catchup on

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then nextweek i can atcually go back to school

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and like

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see people

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which shall be great

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i got

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english

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english

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history

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and science

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to do tmrrw

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ugh

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i think ima just watch youtube

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lol

reef crescent
#

am eepy

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yawns

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may go to eep

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SIGH

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life is tiring

twin schooner
twin schooner
twin schooner
twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
#

hiyaaa

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today has been chill

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tbh

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i havent rlly done anything today

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i still have schoolwork to do too 😭

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fam aint figthing but there's still SO MUCH GOING ONNN

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😭

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HELP BRO

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im excited to go back to school and see my friends tbh

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and my crushh

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hopefully then life shall CALM TF DOWN

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cause i wont be around my fam too much

north shell
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Yay

reef crescent
#

woooo

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HELP I HAVE AN ENGLISH WR NEXT WEEKK

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😭

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yall i need to lock in w/ schoolwork

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BUT I DONT WANNAA

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UGHH

twin schooner
twin schooner
twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
#

OMD SO MUCH HAPPENED

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lemme spill

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so

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i went on a walk

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as peer usual

twin schooner
reef crescent
#

and there was this BABY ANIMAL ON THE GROUND

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(wont say which one cause its native to my country)

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u stalker

#

anyway!

twin schooner
reef crescent
#

it was getting attacked by a bird

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and it was bleeding

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idk tmi

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but

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from its eyes

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and it was coughing up blood

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so we called animal control

twin schooner
#

Tf

reef crescent
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HOMIE THIS A IS PUBLIC

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I DONT NEED PEOPLE FINDING ME

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and so

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they were like

twin schooner
#

I DELETED IT

reef crescent
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aw just take it to the vet

reef crescent
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but this guy came

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and picked it up

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like he was on a walk too

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and he put it in the bushes

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but we think it might not make it overnight 😭

twin schooner
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...

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Woah

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😭

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That's sadddd

reef crescent
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and im rlly tired cause i had to do SO MUCH SCHOOLWORK

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and i have an enlighs wr to do tmrrw

reef crescent
twin schooner
reef crescent
#

and my ocd i had to clean lit my entire body cause the animal was bleeding

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i didnt even touch it

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but i felt so dirty 😭

twin schooner
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😭😭

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Ohhh

reef crescent
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😭

twin schooner
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It's alright

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Don't worry too much. Leave it to them

reef crescent
#

but yeah :D

twin schooner
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FOCUS ON YOUR ENGLISH GNG

reef crescent
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LOL

twin schooner
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That shii needs to be caught up

reef crescent
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and then a got an essay coming up

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😭

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helpp bro

twin schooner
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Lmaoo

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Same here

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😭

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I have 4 essays to do

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And 3 research

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And a frckin book review

reef crescent
#

😭

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also i heard from that friend of mine i was wondered about

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he's alive lol

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but idk if he's like okay

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so ill talk to him

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so hopefully he's okay

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i saw so many trick or treaters while on my walk

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so many kiddies

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they were all dressed up and there were kinda rlly cute 🥹

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im rlly tired now 😭

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SIGH

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so now next week i got a lot of work to catch up on

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I got a history wr

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a science wr

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and an english wr

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😭

#

helpp

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and there's so much happened within the fam

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and UGH

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i dont know whether to vent about that here lol

twin schooner
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Demnn 😭😭

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That's a lottt

twin schooner
reef crescent
#

bro help im going crazy

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😭

twin schooner
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Me too 🥺🐥

reef crescent
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😭

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fuck my lifee broo

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i hate my family

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i hate everything

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why am i such a terrible person to everyone

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||fucking kill me||

twin schooner
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Ayo

twin schooner
reef crescent
#

OKAY SO

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for anyone who is not named kadence

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if ur name is kadence

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u can SCOOT

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||so basically homie made a comment saying i was FAT BC I SAID I WAS HUNRGY!!! which omd fuck him bro, but what he doesnt know is ive strugglign with body dismorphia/ starving myself and he's comment kinda hurt. so now idk what to do bc people r saying that i deserve better whcih yeah i do, but he's still a good friend of mine and i dont wanna block him. and he apologised like a thousand times, and i think he's sincere. i just feel rlly bad about the comment.||

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and TW for anyone else reading

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(tw: mentions of ed)

reef crescent
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fuck this bro

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fuck everything

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fuck people

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i dont even know why i come on here anyway

twin schooner
twin schooner
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I said it already, I didn't mean it like that 😭😭

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Sorry

twin schooner
reef crescent
reef crescent
twin schooner
twin schooner
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Demn

reef crescent
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omd how many random emojis did u react with

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😭

twin schooner
reef crescent
reef crescent
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yoo yoo

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today was pretty chillll

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i went on a run this morning

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almost died lowkey cause of the weather 😭

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then i went to get food from da supermarket

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yum yum

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had lunch

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and now im chillin at home

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tmrrw we're gonna go to da lake

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and church in da morning so i gotta be up early

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😭

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but we'll be FOINNN

twin schooner
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Ohh

twin schooner
twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
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OMD U STALKER

reef crescent
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lowkey should lock in and do my english wr

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but i lowkey might do it on monday

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😅

twin schooner
twin schooner
reef crescent
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nuh uh

twin schooner
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yuh uh

reef crescent
#

nuh uh

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||help im tryna run from kadence!!||

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closed!