I (don’t) miss him | Huddle | Page 3

wet basin Nov 27, 2025, 10:25 PM

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I didn’t want to be done because I still

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Loved him after it all because he was my Bestfriend

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But why would a Bestfriend treat someone like that

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I don’t want to care anymore

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I just feel hurt about how easy it was for him to go on like nothing happened

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Even when I texted him about catching up he asked one of his friends what he should do because he said it made him spiral about if he should

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And he was so ready to cut off everything when I mentioned it when I was nervous about it all because I was going to miss him

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Well I thought so but I was crying over what he’d done to me instead of missing

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Part of me thought maybe he would say that he regrets it all

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Part of me thought he would say it was all a mistake and that he’s sorry

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Or that he still can’t move on like me

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Which is stupid

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Because he heard me talk about what people have been telling me about moving on and how I tonight it would be weird to look for someone already

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While he was already looking for someone

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He heard how I felt about it and still seems people

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Seeks*

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It doesn’t matter because it’s not me with him

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I’m just his ex

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That’s all we will ever be now is exes

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It’s not fair that he’s going to give some other girl that didn’t do everything for him like I did

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It was me that was there through everything that made him who he is now not her

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And she’s never going to know the type of person he has been and is now like I do.

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I hate sounding like this and I hate caring at all

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He can go date whoever because I know I hate a decent amount to give in a relationship

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But that’s such a fucked up ending that nothing could’ve prepared me for

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All the lies he told me until the very end

wet basin Nov 27, 2025, 10:57 PM

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I feel so done with how my life has gone these last few months

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I lost my dog, I am struggling with school work, I lost my ex, then I found out my ex is already seeing someone

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I’m loosing my Bestfriend slowly

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I just want someone to choose me for once

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I miss having someone in my life

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It’s better to be alone then treated like that though

wet basin Nov 27, 2025, 11:22 PM

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I miss having someone want to be with me for once whyd he do that to me

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Why didn’t it ever mean anything to him like it did to me

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And at the end of our call he just went “it’s time” in just

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This gone

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Tone*

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It’s like

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We were strangers

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It’s like we were strangers

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He didn’t ever cry about what happened like I did

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Because he’s already focused on the next girl

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It never was about seeing him as just some boy though to me

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Because it was

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So much more in my life

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Why do I have to be like this

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Why can’t I just not care like this

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Why did it have to mean this much to me why couldn’t I have been moving on like that

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Why am I the one who has to hurt when I didn’t do anything wrong

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Why’d he do that

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It was never about the time or how much I gave

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It was about how little he gave and he didn’t want to start with me he’d just rather

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Restart with someone new

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How can people do stuff like that and

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Think it’s ok?

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Why did I have to be the one to care

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I don’t want to feel like this

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I don’t want to

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I don’t want to be the one who looks crazy and desperate

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I don’t want to be the one who hurts and can’t move on

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Why was it me who had to hurt

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I don’t want to hurt

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When I was the one who didn’t do the wrong

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I put everything into the relationship all of me

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I was scared to get to know and love someone but I did anyways

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Why did he do that to me

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I don’t want to have to

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Ever think of this again

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I don’t want to go into a depressive episode again

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I look so pathetic all the time and I feel embarrassed to cry like this

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To cry over someone who never really cared about me enough to want a full future with me

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To dedicate themselves to me

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If it wasn’t my fault why do I feel like I’m the only one upset

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Why was he so quick to jump into something new when I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do to make myself better

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Why’d he ever do that to me

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And now I look crazy trying to make him understand my hurt and understand why he did that when it was never my fault

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He just says “it wasn’t your fault it was me” but why is he trying to give her everything and not me then? I’m the one who was there through so much?

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Why didn’t he just want to be the one for me

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And he says he sees himself as so much different then the start of our relationship

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And

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I did too until the photos

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Until the photos but I was

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Moving on and I just

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I

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It’s not fair

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Life’s so unfair I don’t want to have to cry anymore

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I don’t want to hurt anymore I can’t hurt anymore it’s been months since I’ve felt genuinely happy with my life

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I’m not happy with my life but don’t know how to tell people that without being a bother 24/7

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What did I do in life to deserve all this

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What did I do wrong

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Im 19 and dont think i have anyone that’s truely stayed by my side through the hardships ive had in life

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Not 1 person that’s stayed with me

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Why am I even here anymore when it feels like I’m not important to anyone even those I care a lot about

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I wish I didn’t feel things so much

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I don’t want to feel these emotions so much why do I have to feel like crying all the time

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I feel so unlovable in life even for those I do so much for

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I hate that I jsut seem like a miserable person to everyone especially my family

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I feel like I had so much love to give in life just it’s never been given back

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I’m scared to have someone love me and have to just hope they’re telling the truth

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I wish someone who wasn’t family loved me

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My family loves me at least most of them but that’s partially because they kinda have to

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That’s a different love

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Having someone choose to love someone outside of family is a different kind of love

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That’s someone who you want in your life without being related

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I’ve loved people like that but it seems like no one has ever loved me like that

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Why do I even try anymore

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I think I need to go on a long drive

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Idk where but somewhere

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I actually hate my life so much

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Idk where just

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I need to clear my mind I can’t just sit in my room anymore

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How am I supposed to go on acting like I didn’t just get betrayed by the only person I truely gave my all in a relationship too

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How can someone do that

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I also know somethings about him he’s never told anyone

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I hate caring

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I hate it so much he’s with someone new why do I still care

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Why do I still care

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We went from ending on good terms to being on horrible terms so quick

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When just 2 months ago we were saying we loved each other

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Just 2 months ago we were saying we love each other that’s not even long ago

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And he’s already liking someone else

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When he just said he loved me 2 months ago

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Just 2 months ago

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I hate feeling so strongly

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I hate caring

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 2:09 AM

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I love my mom

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 4:47 AM

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I wish I didn’t feel depressed today because I really wish I ate more Thanksgiving food and desserts

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But at the time I couldn’t physically swallow much

wraith coral Nov 28, 2025, 1:24 PM

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Same here. I used to love people like they were rare — fully, loyally, with heart wide open. And I ended up giving that kind of love to someone who didn’t value it. It wasn’t a mistake — it was a lesson. It taught me that my love wasn’t wrong, it was just misplaced.
And now I’m more careful… not colder, not closed off — just wiser about who gets access to my heart and energy.

And from my past experiences, I don’t want to give that level of love or care to just anyone anymore. I used to think I didn’t need anybody… but I actually like that caring part of myself. So instead of burying it, I choose to use it to support people who genuinely struggle and deserve empathy — not those who take advantage and drain it

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 2:49 PM

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wraith coral Same here. I used to love people like they were rare — fully, loyally, with hear...

Yea I def need to be more like that. Whenever I date again, which won’t be for a very hot minute, I need to really get to know the type of person they are first. Friends too I don’t want to put so much support in someone that’s just going to leave

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Similar thing kinda happened in a friend group in high school with me. When I started being more talkative and not taking the way they were treating me/pointing out things that didn’t make me feel good about myself, they began treating me worse and gradually excluded me from the friend group

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That friend group ended up falling apart anyways pretty much because they all shit talked each other but some people just can’t comprehend that maybe they can be wrong about somethings

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Those friend groups all far apart in the end at some point

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They literally never last

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 10:35 PM

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I need to stop thinking about all that happened

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Like I need to not care if he is talking and maybe dating at this point someone new

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I just need to not care and I’m trying

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I don’t like being alone with my thoughts it scares me

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I was hoping to see some friends tonight at my rehearsal but rehearsal got canceled due to the weather and some people not being able to make it

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I hope I can eat later my family and I are going out to dinner soon

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I want to eat but sometimes my stomach hurt can’t

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Like I can’t swallow anything without feeling sick or having to spit it right out

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 11:26 PM

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What if she plays hypixel with him like he wanted to with me but I was busy

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I don’t like this feeling like I don’t want to feel sick I can’t eat

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I want to be able to eat without feeling sick from thinking about I all

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I don’t want the mental drainage

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I wanted to do all those things with him just was so busy at the start of this semester with school work

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I know that wasn’t the factor

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It wasn’t me

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Even he said that

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I don’t want to think about him and his new girl and what they are doing together or if they work well or if he loves her or what he and her want with each other

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I don’t want to wonder or think anymore

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I need to not think of any of it

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It hurts

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I don’t want to hurt

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It wasn’t my fault but why am I the one who felt horrible

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Why’d he have to blame it on me why didn’t he just say he wasn’t into it anymore or that we drifted apart

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I know the truth now

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I just need to get my life together

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 11:55 PM

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I need to remind myself he’s probably going to live in his parents basement for the next 20 years

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I need to just move on with life and how things are going to get better

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I need to comprehend he played me

robust turtle Nov 28, 2025, 11:56 PM

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dont take it the wrong way but one day someone else is prolly gonna have to deal with him as a partner so you'll be winning for not being that someone else Yummers

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 11:56 PM

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Thank you

robust turtle Nov 28, 2025, 11:57 PM

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i think its a good way to picture it when moving on imo especially if their results havent changed with the next person

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but thats the future to come anyway so dw about it

wet basin Nov 28, 2025, 11:58 PM

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It is, I think my mom likes to have me think of it that way because he never can commit to a career and liked doesn’t make much

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Not that jobs and money are everything but like he is 21 and can’t pay for community college classes and keeps changing his goals and is full on dropping his degree next year

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I know some day I’ll be in a better place in life

robust turtle Nov 28, 2025, 11:59 PM

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ya thats kinda why i lost faith in my past relationships too, we were young and all i was thinking about is how we would hold up in the future

wet basin Nov 29, 2025, 12:00 AM

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Yea not having shared goals becomes such a large factor the older people get

wet basin Nov 29, 2025, 4:18 PM

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I hate disappointing everyone

wet basin Dec 1, 2025, 2:17 AM

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I feel too much rn

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I just feel so gross how want he wanted to do at the end of our relationship when he wanted me to breakup

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He still wanted to do certain things wanting to end things

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I don’t know how people can do that

lapis scaffold Dec 1, 2025, 4:10 AM

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wet basin I hate disappointing everyone

I doubt that you do.. bunny_hug please don't think that of yourself. It's a cruel thought

wet basin Dec 4, 2025, 5:24 AM

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I need things to stop happening in my life

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I’m so exhausted

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For a few days I was fine but now it’s time to go back to reality

wet basin Dec 5, 2025, 1:33 AM

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I feel horrible

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I’m really not ready to love again

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I feel horrible

wet basin Dec 6, 2025, 2:54 PM

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This week has been awful

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Someone came back into my life for like a week then left in the same week

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Then came back

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Now we aren’t friends again because of things he said and I just can’t do the disrespect again

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And he just didn’t communicate what he wanted. He could’ve just told me he needed space

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But he chose to ignore me all day

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And claimed it was helping

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But he could’ve just said he needed space

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He said that after the disrespect but at the point I told him I can’t be friends if he still has those kinda feelings from 5 years ago about me

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Like he said he regrets saying it and it was th heat of the moment but I didn’t even feel heated at all

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If those thoughts are in the back of his mind idk why he even bothered saying nice things to me a few days ago

wet basin Dec 7, 2025, 3:12 AM

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I need something to go right in my life

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Just something

tulip wing Dec 7, 2025, 3:17 AM

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ah i took a break from discord then came back to this and smiled when i saw the channel name

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proud of u

wet basin Dec 7, 2025, 6:41 PM

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Thank you it’s appreciated

wet basin Dec 8, 2025, 4:29 AM

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Big realization, I’m actually better not in a relationship

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Like fr I got compliments I see so much more upbeat recently

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And like I was a bit sad about this week with the person from my past but like being able to recognize the disrespect and say I can’t do this

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Like

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I feel like I’m getting better and it’s actually so fine being single

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There’s so much more to life besides being in a relationship

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Well at least right now I feel fine

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I’m sure I’ll crash out at some point

wet basin Dec 9, 2025, 1:03 AM

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Sometimes I miss having something to look forward to each day

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Like at the end of the day being able to call someone and chat

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I miss it sometime

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Not that I don’t talk to people but like

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I miss having deep conversations or silly just rants

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Y’know just letting someone know how to I’m really doing and about my day

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This week has just been exhausting and would be nice to have someone to make it a bit less stressful

wet basin Dec 9, 2025, 1:57 AM

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I want to go to sleep for awhile

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I’m just exhausted

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I miss having someone care

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Not that my friends don’t

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But just having someone who rlly knows me and can call

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I miss it sometimes

wet basin Dec 9, 2025, 2:23 AM

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I know it’s for the best in the end though

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I don’t want to deal with the disrespect again

wet basin Dec 9, 2025, 12:00 PM

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I’m just really tied

wet basin Dec 9, 2025, 10:00 PM

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Lowkey think about how I was told I seem so much happier recently since I’ve got out of my relationship

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Like I was in this relationship since 16 so people at my school didn’t know me prior

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I was quiet anyways

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But I lowkey do feel like a lot happier being single recently

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Things feel so different when someone isn’t making u feel like ur not supposed to be loved I guess

robust turtle Dec 9, 2025, 10:26 PM

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it's not a bad thing to be single which is difficult to believe after getting out of a relationship, but it's nice to love yourself and have some time alone SteamHappy

wet basin Dec 10, 2025, 6:22 AM

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It is just every once and awhile I miss having someone that I know I could always talk to at the end of the day and understood me a bit as a person

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I feel better than I thought I would though

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Just miss being comforted I think. Like not being afraid of crying in front of someone and being able to be vulnerable

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Now alot of the times I kinda just keep things to myself

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I have therapy tomorrow so we will talk about it

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But like my irl friends around me most don’t know what’s going on

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Non know about what happened on Friday with my ex from years ago

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I just want to feel loved and safe

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Just hits me sometimes I really did love someone for 2.5+ years for them to leave and find someone new quickly

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I just have to move on though. I know I’ll be better

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And he’s ruining his future right now with his career plans that he keeps changing so

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I just need to think about myself and focus on myself

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I just wish I had someone to cry to when I’m at my worst again

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Not even just a relationship just like a friend

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I know people would be fine if I reached out

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I just hate bothering people

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I miss loving because each time I’ve gone to a party recently I just want to leave

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I don’t think I’m a partier, deep down I know I’d rather be at home talking to a partner

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I try but unless I’m drunk out of my mind I just want to go home

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I don’t want to be hard to love

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Yea I go out but I’d much rather be at home late at night making memories with people I love

wet basin Dec 11, 2025, 4:32 AM

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Every once and awhile I get reminded why I left discord for like3 years

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Some of these people in this server just like

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Rub me the wrong way

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Like one doesn’t want to rlly talk to me anymore cus found out out im a girl and didn’t want to believe it

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And was mad at the 2 dudes that I talk to every once and awhile about it

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Like idc if someone thinks im a dude on discord bruh idk why she cares

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I legit avoid getting gender and pronoun roles in servers sometimes cus some people in the past have like said they liked me but they just like me cus im a woman on discord not cus of me

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And I just don’t want to deal with the creepy people

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So I don’t care like

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Literally jaw dropping she thought we were pulling a prank or something then went “I hate you guys” when realized it was fr

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It legit doesn’t matter at all

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I’ve known some of them for 6+ years

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I think she’s dating one of them now but I fr don’t want him

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Like I hope she knows that I do NOT want her man 💔

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Actually the most treacherous conversation I’m seeing in that server

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Like may genuinely leave cus it makes me want to bash my head into a wall like

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Just hard to read

wet basin Dec 12, 2025, 1:00 AM

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I don’t want to deal with poor communication oml

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I can’t deal with it and it stresses me out and drains me so much

wet basin Dec 14, 2025, 1:16 AM

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I hate doubting decisions

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I just hate it

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I hate missing people

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And it was my choice some of them it was my choice to not have him in my life

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Like why am I upset

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He’s happier and will be happier that’s what I wanted

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It was healthy that he was ready for something and I wasnt

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He should’ve have to wait around for me

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I wanted him to go be happier and find someone else

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Maybe part of me just wanted t feel a bit wanted again. I wanted to have long conversations on the call with someone again

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I wanted someone to talk to and that wanted to talk to me again

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It was my choice to break things because I was scared of getting disrespected again

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I don’t want someone to get used to disrespecting me again and me constantly forgiving them

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I just thought he was being genuine about me and it made me feel a little safe and calmer than I had for a really long time

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I don’t want to care about someone like that again I just want to feel calm with myself

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I want to feel find being alone

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I hate that I feel like I have so much to give

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I feel like I just had so much love to give someone and but I get scared at the smallest hint of romance now

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I had so much to give at some point and the thought that when he called me cute and adorable I got scared

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I felt scared and worried not loved

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Because I just can’t love someone right now and that’s why things needed to end

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He wanted a relationship I can’t give him I can’t go be with someone anytime soon because it makes me anxious

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I can’t imagine loving someone for a really long time

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I just put every part of me into a 2.5 year relationship and I feel absolutely drained and terrified to love someone

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I liked the guy don’t get me wrong just I told him so many times that I wasn’t ready for anything and I just wanted to be friends but he kept pushing until I told him I just felt a bit overwhelmed then he left

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He wouldn’t respond I would’ve gave him space if he needed

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He didn’t need to argue with me I wasn’t even mad

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I was just

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Dissapounted and wanted an answer of what he wanted

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Just 24 hours before he had told me that it always felt like me and everyone else or he would give anything to have another chance with me

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I just couldn’t

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And I told him he should go look for others

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And he thought that made him look stupid but I never thought of him as stupid

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I was just telling my friends the day before about what happened

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He’s not stupid he’s actually insanely smart and he’s got so much going for him in life

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He’s been single for so long he should go date someone and not have to wait around for his ex from however many years ago to be ready again

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Like I know in the end it’s right and I know it’s going to hurt

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Just I’m friends with some of his friends still

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I just feel really crushed

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But part of me also thinks maybe he was just love bombinb me

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The second I told him I’m really not ready and I want to find others and it wasn’t going to be me he swapped up

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He swapped up

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And suddenly he was bringing up stuff from 5 years ago that I was so long done with

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Suddenly I’m a bad person again when just the day before he was saying how he really didn’t want to leave my life again

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I was already going through so much this semester why’d he have to come back and do that for 5 days and just like nothing happened

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After the disrespect he wanted space but I thought we should just cut if off if he was secretly thinking of that stuff still

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And I don’t get why he even liked me so much still after how things last ended

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And he said he felt bad after he said it and it was a heat of the moment thing but I wasn’t even heated

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Even after he said it I didn’t get mad

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I was just

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Oh gosh because if we did try something it would’ve been

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A train wreck

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And just the night before he left at some point and had a 1 hour call with one of his female friends

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I just

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Feel so stressed out

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It’s been a week I just didn’t want to have to think about another loss

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I didn’t need another loss in my life

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This semester has just been a constant kicking. Everytime I start to feel better about life something or someone comes along and just gives me another hit

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I just felt happy to feel calm for a bit

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To feel calm

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I just can’t do the disrespect again

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I can’t go through with someone swapping up on me again

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I can’t

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He apologized but I just cant. I was 14-15 when we dated I’m 19 now

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I’ve changed so dramatically as a person and he said that about himself too and how he felt that now he would be able to be so much better to me

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But why did he say that about me

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I just wanted a clear answer if he wanted to be friends or not

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If he needed space he could’ve told me that instead of just ignoring me

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Seriously 2 adults and he can’t even just tell me he needed space

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Like it’s basic communication that he should’ve said from the start. He said that after the disrespect and the ignoring. While I had been reaching out several times throughout the day and being ignored

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I just can’t do with the poor communication and emotional immaturity in my life again

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He said all the things he should’ve said from the start after he had said the things form so far back and after he ignored me and thought he was “doing me a favor”

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If ignoring someone for 24 hours after they had repeatly reached out to you cause they said they were a little overwhelmed gosh idk what he would’ve done if I was upset

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Like I know it’s for the best just it hurts because I think maybe he love bombed me for the few days and that’s why I felt safe

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I just wanted to feel cared about for a little but I know it wasn’t healthy for either of us

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I don’t want to care about anyone like that for a long time

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It just hurts too much to care about someone

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Even one of my closest friends they started talking to a new friend group this semetsrr

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And it’s just

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Easier on me to not care than to care now

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It just hurts too much to care about people now

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I still love my friends I just can’t

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I don’t want to get attached to someone again for them to leave

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He was so big on wanting to be part of my life too even if things didn’t go well

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Then he ignored me when I said I said it wasn’t going to be me with so many factors, a lot being distance wise too because we don’t live in the same state

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Also he just talks to so many people like

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Like female friends like I don’t want to seem petty

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But like he left after we were planning to talk for an hour to talk to a friend

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Like even besides being a girl he was talking to like he didn’t communicate that it was going to take awhile

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I just feel

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Destroyed with my life right now

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The last 2 times I’ve gone out I just felt depressed about things

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I know partying isn’t really my thing

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I much rather me at home talking to someone I really love

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Or just doing other things with close friends

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I don’t know why my life got so bad

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I just feel destroyed in life

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I hate that it’s become easier for me to just not care

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Because I usually care a lot

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I’ve always had some love for my close friends and those in my life

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I love caring for people but it’s just become easier to not care as much because it just hurts less

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I love caring for people I just don’t want another person to come along and hurt me

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I feel like I just always cared too much and it just always backfires onto me and it’s my fault for caring

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Even if I didn’t date him I still cared about him as a person and liked to talk to him

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Everyone’s just a person

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I don’t want to care as much because it always ends in me being upset

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I knew it would hurt but it had to be done

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I knew he had to move on because it wasn’t going to be me unless he suddenly lived in the same state as me

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And I just can’t ignore red flags in people again

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I did that before several times and I end up wasting time and care

wet basin Dec 14, 2025, 3:37 AM

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I appreciate my mom each day

#

Becauxe she loves me so much and she loves being a mom and loves all her kids and I love her so much

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 1:55 AM

#

I hate thinking about my decisions so much

#

I jsut need to stand on it and accept it

#

I don’t want to keep thinking about it

#

I knew it would hurt but it’s for the best

#

I just need to move forward

#

I just have to accept it. I can’t go back into someone’s life he said it himself

#

I don’t want to be a problem anymore to people

#

I don’t want to get played by people again I don’t want to bother anyone

#

I’m so stupid idk why I care

#

I checked his student reposts and saw the stupid stupid sad sappy reels and felt something

#

He disrespected me I should be fine

#

I don’t like how he views other girls I should be fine why do I care

#

I don’t want to care

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 2:29 AM

#

I’m literally gonna crash out

#

I don’t want to deal with another person with poor communication skills and low emotional intelligence

#

Why do I care I want to stand on my choice

#

He literally talks to other girls that he says are just friends but like I know in a relationship I’d feel so off put but someone talk to a girl on the phone for an hour at night when we were talking

#

Like id feel off put if i had a partner on the phone with some other girl for a long time at night

#

Maybe I’m crazy

#

And he reposts these videos of girls I cannot be with another lustful dude again

#

I don’t want to care but he said somethings to me and I hate just to go and be like it meant nothing

#

I hate thinking about this

#

Maybe I just liked the attention for a bit

#

I would’ve been fine as just friends

#

He seemed so prominent on not leaving my life again even if we weren’t together so why’d it end like that

#

Literally the day I told my friends about him he pulled that shit oml

#

I just feel so confused about how my life as gone

#

I didn’t want him out of my life either

#

Why’d he have to do that to me

#

I CANNTTTT I CANTTTT OMLLL

#

I don’t want to have the feeling of explaining why I’m hurt

#

Especially cus we have some of the same friends it just causes issues I can’t keep talking to him it’s jsut going to be worse down the line

#

I can’t I can’t

#

Just part of me knows I wasn’t sure about him

#

I’m not sure about him but he said he was sure about me then his words swapped that

#

I just like

#

I can’t message him again after it

#

He just

#

I was the one who was saying I needed a choice this was the choice

#

It was my choice I did that

#

He wanted time after the disrespect but I made the hoicd

#

And he’s the one who brought up the issues from 5 years ago about me coming back

#

I can’t do this anymore

#

I just feel so horrible

#

I just felt overwhelmed I wasn’t ready for anything why couldn’t he understand

#

I didn’t want to have him waiting for me I wasn’t even sure about him

#

I couldn’t do another person who just viewed me as someone for a relationship and nothing else

#

I want to be view as a human being with interests and likes and dislikes

#

The second I told him he should move on he was mad and thought he looked stupid I never thought of him as stupid

#

I never did

#

I didn’t think he looked stupid or was embarassing

#

I just can’t

#

I can’t

#

He said such horrible things about me back then then swapped it all

#

I just

#

Can’t

#

I was done with our past from 5 years ago but he never was

#

I don’t want to look mean I don’t want to be mean

#

I want to be a good person

#

I want to be good

#

Why did he always view me as someone so bad I thought I was doing the emotionally mature thing

#

I was being emotionally mature I thought

#

Part of me wanted things to break off because I wasn’t ready and I was so unsure about him so why am I still so anxious about it

#

I made the right choice so why am I so

#

Anxious about it all

#

Maybe it’s cus his friends bring him up

#

Maybe it’s cus I saw the reposts and thought maybe it’s for me

#

Why do I feel so unsure when everything makes sense

#

Things should be like this

#

So why do I feel so

#

Nervous about it

#

Maybe it was just nice to feel seen for a bit

#

Just for him to say those things that are so different than me now

#

I had gone through years of seeing myself as a horrible person why’d he have to do that to me

#

I was always scared I was being manipulative or gaslighting people without even realizing

#

Because he said it about me and I was so unsure

#

He said he thinks he was just throwing around words

#

But I was so scared to love people

#

I don’t want to be dangerous to love

#

I thought I was an alright person again

#

I don’t want to be a bad person to love why did he view me like that

#

I’ve changed so much and he said so many things about me that I thought were

#

Nice

#

Why’d he do that

#

I cant do this anymore

#

I was just thinking again that maybe I’m not bad to love

#

I don’t want to be dangerous to love

#

I always thought maybe I had so much love to give why did this happen again

#

I’m so scared to love I don’t want to keep hurting anyone I

#

I don’t want to be bad to love I’m scared I’m doing stuff without even realizing

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 3:36 AM

#

I don’t want to feel let out

#

I’m the one who had the problems with people

#

I don’t know if this was a good idea me reconnecting with people from back then

#

I just need to relax

#

I just feel so out of place in life

#

I feel really hurt about it

#

I tried to hard to make myself into a better person

#

I want to be good I want to be lovable

#

I don’t want to be bad to love or scared of love or scared I’m bad

#

I don’t want to be bad to love

#

I want to cry but don’t at the same time just my life has been so hellish the last month

#

Even before that

#

Like from the start of the semester form now I just can’t catch a break

#

I don’t want to care

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 4:07 AM

#

In worried about how my life is going

#

I just need opinions on everything

#

I don’t like feeling like this

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 4:27 AM

#

I just feel really alone

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 5:16 AM

#

I don’t want it be delusional

#

To*

#

I want to be in check with reality I don’t want to be delusional

#

I don’t want to be mean and bad and horrible

#

He posts all these Bible quotes for what then he reposts girls all the time

#

Always the dudes with Bible quotes in their bios saying and posting the most unholy stuff gosh

#

I hate when people can’t keep their eyes to themselves oml

#

I don’t want to gaf

#

I said it was fine

#

I said it was fine that he said those things about me so many years ago

#

Because he said he felt bad

#

But in reality it’s not fine because for so long I was scared I was gaslighting people unconsciously

#

That I was something bad to love that I was doing things naturally bad without even realizing

#

It wasn’t fine but I didn’t want him to feel bad for saying it

#

I said it was fine but in reality it made me doubt everytime I tried to love someone

#

It made me fear others loving me

#

Made me feel like I’m just not a loveable person and some people are supposed to be loved and others are supposed to give love

#

And I’m just supposed to give love I’m not supposed to feel loved

#

Because I’m a bad person

#

I don’t want to be bad

#

I want to scream

#

I wish I could convey all this to him but that’s just

#

Crazy

#

I need to

#

Be myself and learn to be alone

#

I cant keep trying to get people to understand the hurt they caused cus everytime I do I loose some self respect

#

Everytime I do I end up looking crazy

#

Everytime I look like a villian

#

I just need to accept that

#

That’s how life goes

#

I don’t want to have to teach another person how to treat others for them to go give it to someone else

#

That’s how it always goes

#

That’s how it went with my last ex. He became a better person to go give it to someone else now

#

Called me all these things and how he’s who he is cause of me to go give it to another

#

I just need to accept it

#

I don’t want to be mad at people anymore

#

I don’t get mad often but recently

#

I’ve been getting mad at the people that just treated me wrongly

#

Like feeling like I need to scream mad

#

And I hate that

#

I just am getting so upset about it because I can’t handle another person saying stuff to me and then swapping up the next moment

#

I can’t handle another person making up why they don’t want to talk anymore

#

And just blaming me

#

They should know me enough to at least know that stuff will stick with me

#

If they wanted me to think I’m the problem like they did a good job I guess

#

I think I may just need a break from that friend group. He’s not even in the server I’m in anymore he left after we broke things off. But just the mentions of him sometimes and sometimes I bring him up first

#

I just need a mental break to let go for a bit

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 7:38 AM

#

I need to get off this app

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 10:58 PM

#

I want to cry

wet basin Dec 15, 2025, 11:20 PM

#

I just feel really left out. Not that I’ve talked to most of them for awhile just

#

My ex from back then always like

#

Sometimes I wish we never dated cus it really messed up my relation with being friends with some people

#

I hate being labeled as just someone’s ex because I was friends with them before I even dated him

wet basin Dec 21, 2025, 4:55 AM

#

I hate caring so much

wet basin Dec 23, 2025, 2:58 AM

#

I feel really destroyed lately

#

I don’t want to care

#

But then sometimes it hits me this really isn’t what I wnated

#

I didn’t want to cut off the person from the past. I wanted to keep talking but I just don’t want to have someone walk all over me again

#

That keeps happening where once I forgive someone once they abuse it I didn’t want that again

#

I meant it when I said I didn’t want to have him out of my life again I didnt want things to end up like this

#

I didn’t want this

#

But I can’t get dorespected all over again

#

I didn’t want my ex to treat me like that

#

I’ve just felt kinda emotionally lonely sometimes

#

Miss late night talks with someone I really love

#

A lot of thinking

#

I didn’t want things to end up like this

#

But I can’t go and get disrespected by someone again j can’t deal with people thinking it’s fine to walk all over me again

#

I hate that I’m fine with forgiving people that treat me poorly

#

I hate that I let things happen in the past. I didn’t want things to end like this I wanted to forgive him just

#

For my own self I just know if I did I’d be in a loop again

#

I don’t want to give someone the ability to crush my heart again

#

I just feel destroyed with how my life has been going

#

I care too much about what he’s up to and I don’t want to. I care too much how he feels or thinks about me after all of this

#

I don’t want that

#

I care about him still as a person

#

That’s why it hurts

#

I don’t like caring

wet basin Dec 23, 2025, 3:20 AM

#

I didn’t want to give up on him

#

I don’t like giving up on people

#

I keep trying to find the good in people but why does it always lead to them stepping all over me and slowly disrespecting me

#

I didn’t want to give up

#

I didn’t want things to end like this

#

I hate holding on

#

I don’t want to ignore red flags again I don’t want to get disrespected

#

I don’t want to go back to people again

#

I always go back and people just

#

Do the same thing

#

It’s always me giving more chances for what

#

To get the same disrespect

#

I didn’t want to give up on him

#

I wish he knew that I didn’t want to give up

#

I was scared of being disrespected again. I’m scared of forgiving people again because whenever I do they continue to mistreat me. I was scared of him hurting me again. I was overwhelmed by the idea of loving someone. I was scared to put myself in a vulnerable position. I was scared of forgiving someone

#

I’m scared to get disrespected by people again

#

I don’t want to get hurt

#

I don’t want to keep making poor choices in my life

#

I don’t know if I just wanted to chosen in life

#

I’m scared

#

I wish I could time skip 6 months from now when things aren’t as painful

#

I want to reach out and explain this all but part of me just feels like it’s a disrespect to me

#

It would prove the whole point of me coming back and forth

#

I just feel like him coming back in my life was possibly the worst thing to happen when just the week before I had issues with my ex

#

I feel scared I messaged him I just feel so bad with myself

#

I feel like someone with no self respect

#

I hate that I can’t just walk away

#

I hate how life has gone

#

I hate the people I’ve had to meet in life

#

I always look desperate and I hate it

#

im literally so hopelss

#

I felt so bad because he kept saying he was sure of me but I’m so unsure of him and I can’t

#

I feel horrible

#

Literally feel sick to my stomach thinking about this conversation if he even responds

#

I always look crazy I swear bruh

#

Like insanely nervous and scared of regrets

wet basin Dec 23, 2025, 5:34 AM

#

Yea that was a conversation

#

That was

#

One big loop

#

Pretty much ended in he wants me to leave him alone and stuff which I’ll respect

#

Not that I really wanted much from it anyways it was more trying to understand both povs

#

Which I thought I got but he doesn’t

#

Just felt like the entire time he wanted to fight me and kept making me feel like

#

Someone I’m really no5

#

Not

#

And it hurt

#

A lot

#

But I just need to let go of it all

#

I feel like I can after this

#

As much as it hurt as a conversation

#

At least it’s done with

#

I hate feeling like a horrible person

#

I wish I could just cry I haven’t cried in a long time

#

It just sits emotionally and nothing happens

#

Just wasn’t how I wanted the conversation to go and I feel so misunderstood

#

Just felt like I was talking to a brick wall

wet basin Dec 23, 2025, 6:22 AM

#

Part of me thinks I should’ve just saved my respect and left it

#

Because I made the right choice the first time

#

But part of me also knows I needed to get one more “this is really bad” experience to know I made the right choicd

woeful roost Dec 23, 2025, 5:43 PM

#

I broke up with my ex

#

and it hurts me to this day

#

I made the right choice but I still think about her sometimes

#

ughhh

#

But I hope your okay rn

#

and we hopefully we can talk sometime

#

so as to share our experience with breakups

wet basin Dec 24, 2025, 5:57 AM

#

You can always dm me if you want to talk about it

#

It’s been just a weird few months for me. My boyfriend of 2.5 years and I broke up around 2.5 months ago but then somehow my ex from like 5 years and I reconnected because we were in the same discord server together and he was strange

#

I wish we didn’t reconnect ngl it pushed me back a bit and just the last convo we had was so miserable

#

He’s blocked now again but it was weird to even just text or call him again after that long time

wet basin Dec 24, 2025, 6:00 AM

#

woeful roost so as to share our experience with breakups

But yea if you ever want to reach out don’t hesitate to dm me or ping me. Breaking up hurts, on both sides. I hate when people think it only hurts the one who got broken up because it really is such a hard choice to make and have to sit with

woeful roost Dec 24, 2025, 10:43 AM

#

I reached out to you! Hope you have great day!

wet basin Dec 26, 2025, 5:09 AM

#

Sometimes it really dawns on me how much I loved my ex

#

Like I did so much and everything for him and had so much love for the man

#

I hate things ended like this and how the relationship ended up

#

I don’t like how he treated me and I know someday I’ll be treated right

#

Either by someone or just I’ll be better independent

#

I don’t need a relationship

#

But I don’t know when I’d ever be able to love someone like I loved him

#

That was the kind of love idk if I’ll be able to give for a really long time. We were good for awhile just we were more like bestfriends than partners I guess

#

He was my best friend

#

I just wish he tried more for me

#

Because I really loved him and sometimes it just really hits me

#

Just wish he treated me right and loved me how I wanted

#

He always got upset if I asked if he loved me

#

I did it because I jsut like

#

Reassurance

#

But it bothered him

#

I like hearing it and knowing it

#

Not that it matters now

#

Just

#

I wish he saw it how I saw it

#

The girl he tried to talk to and get with after we broke up no longer follows him on insta nor does he follow her

#

So guess it didn’t work out

#

Womp womp

#

I was crying about him for the first time in awhile a few nights ago

#

Because he really did have such a good personality that matched mine and interests just

#

He can’t keep his eyes to himself

#

And he can’t get his shit together

#

Would’ve been good friends

#

Just I felt so

#

Used

#

Even now I do at times

#

He was able to move on so quick

#

And I know people do that some people can’t be alone like they need to have a relationship or someone

#

I just couldn’t imagine trying to love someone else when I still cry about my cry every once and awhile

#

I just can’t imagine it. Even if I had a small thing for someone it just sounds overwhelming right now

#

Even when it gets lonely sometimes

#

He was everything to me at some point

#

I stopped seeing a future with him at some point

#

I really wanted to

#

And I tried

#

But if I had to try so hard it wasn’t meant to be

#

Or one day I saw something that was like “would u want ur future kids to date someone like ur partner?”

#

And no tbh I don’t want anyone to have to worry about their partner watching nsfw stuff without it being agreed on by both parties

#

Which still I wouldn’t feel right about tbh

#

But no

#

I can’t do that stuff

#

Never again

#

I was there with him through so much

#

New jobs

#

Dropped careers

#

When his car was broken down I’d pick him up from work

#

And we’d do stuff if he couldn’t go home yet to his parents

#

Get him food

#

Paid for most our meals

#

Learned all his interests

#

I which he was more interested in learning about me as a person

#

He took forever to remember things and even then it felt like I forced it

#

I’d ask him what my fav color is

#

Animals

#

Etc

#

I just wish

#

He took notice of my interests more

#

And realized

#

I was going through a lot when he left

#

He left during on my hardest times

#

While I stayed there through everything with him

#

I’d go to his rehearsals for acting sometimes if I knew I wouldn’t be able to make the production because of school

#

Because my school is 5 hours away

#

And if go to his shows when I could but sometimes it just wasn’t possible so I’d at least go see the rehearsal

#

I loved him

#

Even after work from a 13 hour shift I’d see him on my way home because I wanted to

#

He never was on time

#

And it would be by hours sometimes and wouldn’t tell me until a few minutes before

#

I just

#

Got used to it at some point

#

I make jokes about some stuff he did but looking back I just wished he loved me as much as I loved him

#

Or at least tried a bit more

#

I don’t know how people can look at other people like that when they have a whole ass partner that is dedicating themselves to them

#

I don’t get it

#

And I hope I never do

wet basin Dec 26, 2025, 7:07 AM

#

I feel awkward

#

Everytime I mention like a memory of him or something

#

People just get quite

#

Like the other day I just remembered how his mom got me a warden Lego set for Christmas a few years ago

#

Just quite

#

I don’t mean to ruin a mood and I didn’t even mean it as a sad thing

#

Happy memory

#

But

#

Yea

#

Idk each time I mention him it’s like people

#

Ignore that I said anything

#

Not that he was a good guy in the end especially after my family found out what happened

#

But

#

Idk some memories

#

I jsut revisit sometimes

#

And thought to mention I guess

wet basin Dec 26, 2025, 8:00 AM

#

Talking to this one dude has to be ragebait

#

like has to be, he cannot be deadass

#

legal voter out in the world

#

i sometimes wish my ex missed me at least a little

#

because

#

even when we brokeup

#

i felt like i was in shambles and he seemed completely fine

#

the only things in life he was upset about was work stuff

#

nothing

#

reallt about me

#

which is selfish in a way, i dont want us back togther

#

but i wish it felt like it did for me i guess sometimes because i feel like i cared so much more. when we brokeup i asked if theres anything else he wnated to say cus i know people usually have that and think about it for awhile

#

he didn't really

#

say much

#

just that it nice while it lasted but it was time

#

gosh i always look so hopeless

#

i look pathetic sometimes still thinking about him after almost 3 months

#

when he barely had anything to say to me when we broke up and just madeup reasons

#

then tried to date someone else within less than 2 months of us breaking up

#

i know someday it'll be better and ill be put in a better direction

#

but gosh did i love him, he just couldn't love me a fraction back

wet basin Dec 29, 2025, 9:28 PM

#

I don’t love him anymore but sometimes he crosses my mind and I feel sad about how things ended up

#

Not upset anymore just

#

Sad

#

I wish I was treated different in life

wet basin Dec 30, 2025, 5:21 PM

#

The world shows me again and again how I make no difference and it’s better when I’m not around

wet basin Jan 1, 2026, 8:48 PM

#

I genuinely hate when my family or step dad talks politics

#

Like it makes me want to shoot myself

#

I love my mom but she will be like “I’m trying to understand, teach me” no she doesn’t want to learn she’s making fun

#

She’s always making fun she’s not trying to understand especially with my step dad saying the most ridiculous shit

#

And I hear how she talks about my older brother she just wants to make fun. She’s not trying to understand. That’s literally why I don’t want her to ever meet some of my friends because shes not understanding she’s just making fun and will behind their back even if she “tries” to in front of them

wet basin Jan 2, 2026, 4:43 AM

#

I reality of leaving him in 2026 is so painful because I never really wanted to

#

6 month ago me would be shattered

#

That the relationship ended in 2025 and 2026 won’t know him since we don’t even talk and he’s blocked on everything

#

I keep telling myself new year time for me to fully move on. But part of me hurts a bit. I don’t love him anymore. It’s every once in a while a good memory pops up in my mind and I miss having that level of closeness with someone. The ability to go explore someplace or go out. I have gift cards to so many food places idek when I’ll use because I don’t have anyone to go with

#

It’s hard to say leave him in 2025 when it’s not what I really wanted at a point and sometimes it feels a bit unreal

#

I try to remind myself of what he’s done. The photos, the lies. I try to remember

#

I think my biggest issue is is I really loved him at some point. And I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to love someone at that level again. I loved so much about him. I loved him when things were hard and good. That’s what I think I fear in a relationship is not everyone realizes relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. And with that I’ve been in a past relationship where the second things go wrong the person would go to their friends about it and not me. And then wouldn’t explain my side at all just would say idk when asked what happened

#

I don’t want to get into something where the person won’t just come to me first with an issue because relationships should be between the partners not the partners and their friends. Or people just leave when things get hard or just don’t realize that if you are with someone for a long time disagreements come out

#

I hate that a lot of people just don’t realize that when you date, you’re dating a person who has views, has lived a completely different life than you, has got mad at stuff, happy, sad. People just view relationships as romantic stuff sometimes and not that you have a whole ass human being in front of you

#

I just feel a little dull inside with the idea of it all ending

#

Like the idea of our 3 year anniversary if we were together being in just 2 and a half months is kinda daunting

#

Like it makes my stomach turn

#

I don’t really talk to anyone at my home town anymore

#

Sometimes it feels like my parents think I’m just a loser or something. My dad says “still not talking to anyone from highschool?” When the people from high school legit had me crying everyday and made me feel like shit about myself

#

And he gave one of them a scholarship for college after all that because he thought we were still friends when we hadn’t been for like 2 years

#

I had a weird dream the other day of just seeing my ex putting in the effort for someone else

#

Making her flowers for their dates and getting ready

#

I don’t know why my mind showed me him with someone else

#

It was just the night going into the new year too

#

And it just made me

#

Idk

#

It’s like I’m starting to come to terms that I really really need to move on. We had something at some point but it’s over. He’s seeing other people and I want to work on myself. I shouldn’t have been upset about him seeing others since in the end he’s not mine anymore

#

Its hard to say its order when there was a time I loved him in a way I hadn’t loved anyone ever before

#

I just wasn’t being loved back how I needed

#

It just hurts a bit to think about all the love I had for him to not really get what we both needed in the end. We had good times but sometimes we just felt like good friends. And we were, he was my best friend but he just didn’t give me what I needed for a relationship. If we were just friends I wouldn’t care about the photos or how he interacted with other girls. But we were so it hurt me alot

#

I loved him at some point but I have to just let go finally

#

And I thought I did then the idea of leaving people in 2025 happened

wet basin Jan 2, 2026, 7:07 PM

#

I wish I had someone still that understood me a bit more

#

There’s just too much happening in life sometimes and it would be nice to have someone to talk to it about

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My mom and step dad are fighting and yelling

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I just get overwhelmed

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I know it’s worse for them

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Just I wish I could talk to someone that understand my situation more

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Just gets lonely

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I just want to be understood and be able to talk to that with someone

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I know I have people

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It’s just a different level of understanding the situation that happens in my life

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And has for years

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I don’t like my step dad

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He’s not nice

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He is mean

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He’s mean to my dogs

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Mean to my brother

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My mom was yelling at him because he called my younger brother a spoiled piece of shit

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When my mom would never say something like that to my step siblings

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My brother has been sick almost this entire vacation

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Yea he’s been snappy but he’s been having a bad time and each time he’s offered to just walk back to the hotel alone because he didn’t want my mom to be mad or upset about it

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I hate how he treats us

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And my dog

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I have a great dog too. She’s a sweet heart

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She’s a senior basset hound

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She doesn’t bark often

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She doesn’t have accidents often. Only recently did she start and that’s just cus she’s old

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But she’s a really good dog

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And my mom

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Powerful woman

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I hate how he treats us. My mom always put him on a pedestal

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She says all the time how we wouldn’t have so many opportunities without him well i don’t get that cus they legit own the same business

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They’re co owners

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She could do stuff to idk why she puts him so high up they have the same exact job

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She could’ve done it

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It doesn’t matter where tf he went to college idgaf if he went to Cornell if he’s still a little bitch boy

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My mom went to a local school and has the same job so doesn’t matter what Ivy League he went to when she legit has the same qualifications

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I hate how he treats people

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I hate how he talks about politics

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I hate how he talks about people

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I hate how he treats us

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My mom never gives herself enough credit

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I just feel exhausted alot I miss just

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Having someone I know understands me

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And I can just call up whenever I feel overwhelmed

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Or things are just too much at the time

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I wish I had that

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I’ve been thinking of my ex more. About what happened

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I feel like I was on a high the last month about what happened since I was so pissed but I’m just starting to mellow out

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And really reflect on everything that happened

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I really did love him with all I had and it still ended with him leaving

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It was for the best

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But that really hurts to have to just

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Accept

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That I lost someone I loved and they couldn’t love me back half as much

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He loved me at some point

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But not the same way I loved him

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I feel gross even thinking of another dude

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While he was fine ||jerking off|| (nsfw) to other women every day for years

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Even before in a relationship it just

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Always felt wrong

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It just feels so wrong

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I don’t know how people can do that and think it’s fine without thinking about how their partner would feel

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I’d feel so devastated to walk in on my partner looking at others and acting on others that way

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It’s just cheating at that point

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I just don’t know how people think it’s fine

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I don’t know why I tolerated it

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I was just blinded by love

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As corny as it sounds

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I loved him

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And I’d do anything for him at the time

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To the point I stayed with him a month after finding photos since they were from that time period

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But they were still on his phone

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He said it was the action but it wasn’t

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They were just revealing photos they weren’t doing anything

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Just Instagram photo screenshots

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While he did that

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I was just thinking of him

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Of how happy I was to finally be with him after 6 months of liking him

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How much I wanted to grow close to him

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I was thinking of making him a cheesecake since that’s his favorite dessert

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Why’d he have to do that to me

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I would’ve never done that to him

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Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic

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Because I really wanted it to be him

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At some point at least

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I tell myself I can do better

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But I really wished he just treated me right from the start. We had good memories

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But I just wanted a level of loyalty he wasn’t giving me

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I thought he would be better considered he said he was cheated on in the past

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I felt like I was going to show him real love or a real relationship or something

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And I did

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But I just didn’t get that back

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At least fully

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He did at some point

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We would travel

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I loved traveling and exploring

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When he finally would

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I loved just spending time with him

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I spent so much money over the years

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Well over 2k on him total

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I paid a lot

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But i loved him

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There was a time we were happy. I hate that he still crosses my mind. I want to say it’s just the final grievance and acceptance of what happened but it hurts. I saw the public transport monorail bus thing go past and I thought of when we went on the train to see a musical

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His first one

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We fought

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Because he was taking awhile to get ready and I was waiting to pick him up for awhile

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And it annoyed me when he was late to things

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He was always late all the time

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And it made me frustrated

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And I didn’t want to be late to the train

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And my order for the bagel was always wrong

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Not his fault the bagel place’s fault

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I just

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Was very frustrated

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But at some point

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We were fine

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I don’t want to cry about him anymore

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People always say it’s better to love and to lost but I just don’t know when I’d love someone like that again

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He was there for me through some of my worst times and I was there for him

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I forgave too much. I always do that

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I forgive too much and people take advantage of it. I’m like a friggin dog

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Because no matter how many times people hurt me I keep coming back

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I’m trying to break that

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Because it always ends in me sad and the others fine as could be

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I forgive too much

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But at the same time people make mistakes

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And I’m still learning where to draw the line

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I think of bringing him to my vacation but then I remember it’s all over

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It’s been over for 3 months

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So why do I still think of him in my plans when he’s so long gone

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And he tried to date someone else

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While I was

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Hurting still

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And I know that doesn’t last, and it didn’t they don’t follow each other on insta anymore

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But the thought of him kissing and hugging someone else makes my stomach turn

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He’s not mine though so I don’t know why I gotta care so much

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I wanted to be loved how I needed to be loved

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Parties overstimulate me unless I’m 4-5 drinks in

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I always felt bad about y

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It

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Because I didn’t drink until a few months ago and sometimes I’d have to leave to cry then come back

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He got mad at me once about it because I was upset he didn’t really remember the call

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Because he picked it up half asleep

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Or at another party he said he shouldn’t have brought me

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More in the sense us doing something else

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But it still hurt

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I wanted to go out

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Just I get overwhelmed by the atmosphere and I felt like I was taking him away from his friends

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I get worried

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I wish that was just understood more

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I just get overstimulated

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I didn’t mean to bother him at all or make a scene or make him feel bad

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I just needed some comfort

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And he ended up crying too because of it

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I felt bad

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I didn’t want him to regret bringing me

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I hate bothering people

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I always felt bad at parties because I always looked so visibly uncomfortable and didn’t want anyone to worry and I didn’t want to ruin the mood

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I didn’t want to ruin anything

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I just wanted to be understood

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He said I wasn’t taking him from his friends

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But there just was more to it

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I hope I’m never in a relationship later in life that involves fighting

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I don’t want to be a parent with someone that treats their kids how my dad treated me in my teens

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I don’t want to be with an angry person

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That’s why I liked my ex. He never really got angry at me

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Which doesn’t make the other stuff good

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But he was always patient with me

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Besides the party stuff that he didn’t really understand

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I once walked 20 minutes in the wrong direction

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And he wasn’t mad at me

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We found a five guys and if anything he said it’s good we walked 20 minutes the wrong way

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I don’t want to be in a screaming household I’ve had that enough in my life from my dad now my step dad

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I want someone that loves me like I love them some day

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Like stupid corny love

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I dont even know if id ever ask someone out again

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Because I kept thinking it’s fine that he didn’t really like me much at the start because it was me that asked him after all

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I’m the one that liked him not the other way

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So it was supposed to be me feeling like j wasn’t loved

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I don’t want that again

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I just want someone to be sure of me and me to feel the same

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I don’t really have the looks and I’m decently shy

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I’m got better at it but tbh a lot of my interests km not too big on sharing

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I’ve started to more though

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Like pokemon im really into and started sharing that more openly

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Anime, Minecraft

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I just didn’t want to seem idk

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I just didn’t really have many friends with the same interests

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I was always the weird kid in school just awkward and quiet

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Until this year really. Last year I was quiet but got through to

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I didn’t want to see weird I get nervous and overthink Ally

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Alot*

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I don’t know what makes me think I deserve to be loved how I want to be

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I just wanted someone to be loving and caring

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Just to be a bit gentle with me I just don’t want to hear yelling anymore in my lige

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Life

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That’s my wish is someone to treat me how I always needed to be loved in the end

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But I know I need to be happy with myself independently first

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I just am crying more often again

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Which isn’t always a bad thing

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I just have so many emotions I need to let go

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I want to be seen and valued

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I don’t want it just be seen as the girl that doesn’t talk to people at home but is also hella quiet at school

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I don’t like how I was treated in high school

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I don’t want to hear yelling anymore in life

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I never liked yelling

#I (don’t) miss him