#Jacob's yappathon

21 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

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So, its currently 10pm, i drank two monsters today, what a great idea, Now i feel shit and i want to sleep but i can't. I have suicidal thoughts, but then, i dont really have any reason, everyone else around me has it worse, and i feel like such a crybaby, and so annoying. I'm very introverted, but when i get to know someone i yap so much. I feel like a fucking snowflake, i get hurt so easily, i overthink so much, and i hate everything. I feel like everyone is mean to me, for no reason at all, and i dont even know if they're really mean, or i'm just too sensitive. I hate myself. I hate every single thing about myself, i'm short, overweight, i have acne, i'm sometimes so useless i can't even brush my teeth. My lifestyle is ass, i dont do practically anything, and i'm too lazy to pick my ass up and do something. I feel like i'm unlovable.

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I just started Middle school, and its so ass. My classmates are the most typical men, vaping, some even drinking, everyone does sports and then theres me, of course, always fucking special. Some of the teachers are the type who want to reinvent physical punishments. My brain is just... Idk, it gave up. I'm trying to keep attention on class, but even then i dont remember shit. My memory is ass, and we're already starting to write tests, and i'm just so cooked, i dont know anything. Also going to school in bus is horrible. Takes like 40 minutes with the walking to get to school, to elementary it was 12 minute walk lmao. And the bus is always so full, so great.

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I also started drawing again. I want to make tattoo designs, i was so proud of myself, i shared it with a few friends, two said it was just "scribbling" or idk how would i translate it, and it felt like they just said its bad. Again, i dont know if they really meant it like this, or i'm just too sensitive. I guess i just need some affirmation, i would kill for a hug and "it'll be okay". But thats not happening, unlucky me. I mean, i do have a girl i like, but i think she doesnt like me back, i think i'm just being too needy and annoying to her.

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My mental was actually better. A few months before this i was really shit too, but thanks to aummer break it slowly got better, at the end of summer break i was even going on walks and feeling great, but then school started and now i'm here, unlucky. Its just i dont get it how i can feel so shit when i just dont have a reason to. I just overthink so much, and i hate it, but then fucking math class comes around and i'm not thinking at all 😔

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I guess i just need some attention

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Hm, today i feel like throwing someone under a train.

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Today's physics class 😭

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My leg hurts. I have new shoes and theyre... Idk the word 🥀 the back of the shoe is scraping my back of the ankle? I think. My english brother 😭 its not quite ideal.

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sometimes i wish everyone would just disappear

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i dont get myself, how can i hate everyone, and be so annoying and dependent at the same time

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Human nature ig

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sleek temple
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Today's chem class

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