#emi's journal
1 messages · Page 2 of 1
For school?
U know history?
Fuck I know this in my language
Because he made the contract London something
To switch sides in the war
What invasion lead to the downfall of N@zi germany
In return he would get land and treasure
We didn't get there yet
It was the D Day invasion
emi's journal
"It's not In your hands to help."
I see you there, your shoulders low,
A quiet storm you never show.
Your voice is cracked, your gaze is far,
And I just wish I knew where you are.
You smile, but not the way you did,
Like something deeper's gone and hid.
I ask, "You good?" - you nod, "I'm fine,"
But pain still lingers in the line.
And here I stand, just out of place,
No magic words, no warm embrace.
I want to help, to lift, to mend,
But I don't know where help can send.
I hate that I can't take the weight,
Undo the past, unspin the fate.
I hate that I just watch you break,
While silence follows every ache.
I say I'm here - I mean it too
But still it feels like not enough for you.
'Cause words don't stop a heavy chest, And love can't always bring you rest.
I see the tears you never cry,
The way your laughter tells a lie.
I reach, but feel the space between,
The kind of gap that stays unseen.
What good am I if I can't fix,
The tangled pain the cruel tricks?
What use is care that can't repair,
A heart too tired to even care?
I'd trade my calm for all your storms,
Take every bruise, take every form.
But all I have are words and hands,
That tremble when no one understands.
So I just sit - beside, not in
The war you fight beneath your skin.
And though I cannot make it right,
I'll be the shadow near your light.
I'll hold the space you need to break,
And listen, even when you fake.
I may not heal, or make you whole,
But I won't leave- I'll guard your soul.
I see the cracks you try to hide,
The pain that leaks from deep inside.
You say, "I'm fine," then look away
And I don't know what I should say.
I reach for words but they fall flat,
And somehow, I am stuck with that.
A silence wrapped in heavy air,
And guilt that builds because I care.
I sit here useless, still, unsure, I wonder: Could I do much more?
But I'm not strong, or wise, or brave
I'm just someone who wants to save.
It eats me up, this hollow role,
Of watching you but not feel whole.
You're drowning in a quiet sea,
And all I do is watch and plea.
What good am I if I just stay
And let your joy keep fading gray?
What friend just waits while others break, Then blames themselves with every ache?
I hate the way my heart just stings
When I can't fix the simplest things.
A tear, a sigh, a voice grown low
-All signs of things I cannot know.
I wish I had the perfect line,
A sentence wrapped in light and shine.
But every time I try to speak,
My voice feels small, my soul feels weak.
I feel like I'm just standing there,
While pain devours all you bear.
And deep inside, this awful war:
You need someone... I should be more.
You don't deserve this weight alone,
But I can't carry what's unknown.
I watch you fade and shrink and dim,
And feel my hope grow cold and thin.
You think you're lost-but so am I.
Not in your pain, but asking why
The ones we love must hurt so deep, While all we do is lie awake and weep.
So if I'm quiet, if I stare,
It's not that I don't truly care.
It's just I'm trapped behind this wall
Of wanting to help... and doing nothing at all.
I see it in the way you look,
The guilt you never truly shook.
You wear it like a second skin
As if my pain was somehow your sin.
But you're not the reason for my rain,
You didn't cause this quiet pain.
You didn't carve these sleepless nights,
Or dim the stars or steal the light.
You didn't plant the seeds of fear,
Or fill my chest with weighted years.
So why do you look down in shame,
As if you ever fed the flame?
You try so hard, you always care,
You're one of few who's truly there.
You speak with warmth, your voice is soft, You lift me when the world drops off.
I never asked for perfect hands,
Just someone here who understands.
Not someone who could mend or heal,
Just someone willing to feel.
You blame yourself for not enough
But love was never measured tough.
You think you failed because I cry
But crying's not your fault, nor mine.
I know you want to make things right,
To chase away my endless night.
But all you need to do is be
-That's more than most have done for me.
You don't need magic, don't need might, You are not wrong for lacking light.
Your care alone, your time, your voice
-To me, that isn't just-it's choice.
So please don't carry all this weight,
This burden that was never fate.
I need a friend, not someone torn
-You're not the one who made me worn.
You've given more than you believe,
In ways I never could retrieve.
And if I fall, or fade, or bend-
Know this: you were a loyal friend.
So wipe the guilt out from your chest,
You did your part, you did your best.
You stayed when others stepped away, And that alone... helped me stay.
I've done better but this is the longest I've done
Took me like 2 hours tbh
Gonna read it now
A worthwhile 2 hours if you ask me
This is extremely good
My head hurts tho
My brain fumbled
Did you drink water?
I can't rn. I don't feel so well if I do I'm definitely gonna throw up
Oh noooo
Maybe try to relax and eat something light
Like crackers or something
And sip some water
I don't plan on eating honestly
Why is that?
All food I look at makes me feel worse
Ooooh
Yeah
Smells are making me wanna run tf out of the kitchen
Maybe like
Hmmm
I’m sorry
That ya feeling like this
Not your fault
Ik it’s just that I’m sorry you feel like this
Ty
Aww why?
I almost relapsed. I might have I don't know. I just know I bruised myself now
I’m so sorry
I wish I could do more
It's okay
No one can help tbh
I wish I could do more to help you
awh y
is there anything i can do
Thank you
No. Ty tho
you'll get through it eventually 
i believe
Omfg
I just let someone die
I didn't help
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
She might have committed
2:31 last text was fml
I didn't try enough
Fuck
It's all my fault
I can't stop crying
I didn't help enough
I didn't try enough
She needed someone to talk to
I want to go back
I want to say more
I want to change her mind
She can't just leave
She couldn't have done it could she
I'm scared
I'm really scared
I can barely breathe
I'm actually fucking sobbing
My heart hurts
Fuck fuck
I wish I could go back
Maybe I'd still be talking to ger
Her
Fuck
I can't keep talking like she's gone
She can't be
She can't fucking be
FUCK
SHE RESPONDED
AFTER 18 MINUTES
Oh no
Fuck.
I messed up
She's texting
Idk if she's okay
I'm scared
She's alive
Fuckk
I can't stop crying
Omfg someone almost died

Someone actually almost fucking died
"in the night I hear em talk.
The coldest story ever told.
Somewhere far along this road. He lost his sould to a woman so heartless"
The tutorial on how to fly btw 👇
I broke the codee
What code
Epic
Tool me 2 weeks
I'm gonna go try it and tell you how it goes
Gg
"So I think it's time for for us to have a toast. Let's have a toast for the douchebags"
FUCK YES
YESSSSS
would be a bit rude to find out
Thanx
Not me disturbing her peace
Awww don’t let her break the screen
I just realized how shaky my hands are
Idk they're always shaky sometimes more sometimes less
Lwk my hands
Bro same
Warning: don't get the voice too high
Twin
Istg am I not supposed to be happy just once
My mom found ONE FUCKING GLASS IN THE SINK
That btw it wasn't me who left it
And she starts yelling at me although I clean EVERY FUCKING THING
And she can't just let me be
Now my heart fucking burns
Can't I have just ONE day where I'm fine?
I wonder wtf am I still doing alive
How tf can someone just get mad at me
For nothing
She didn't speak to me
She didn't even care about the fact I wasn't eating
She didn't care about the fact I just fucking ran to the bathroom because she fighting with my brother again
Guess why she's fighting with him
Because he had to fucking quit
Even tho she's been asking my brother to quit for weeks she got mad at him
As if this wasn't fucking enough
She keeps saying that she wants to take us back to our previous home
To our previous village
The village where I almost ||GOT FUCKING RAPED||
In the fucking school where that God damn teacher still works
In the school where I got bullied for 7 fucking years until I tried ||committing suicide for so many times||
The village where people threatened to fucking sell me for money
The village where they gave my father alcohol on purpose so he could come and fucking beat and try to kill us
I swear to fucking god if she gets us back there I'm leaving this stupid world.
She doesn't even care about my mental health
When I tried ||to commit|| for the second time (to her knowledge because fuck if she knew the actual amount I tried imagine)
She found out I got ||sa'd||
And got mad at me.
Yelled at me for not telling her
Yelled at me for 'being stupid' and that I should've forgotten because it was one year ago
Yelled at me for going to the bathroom even tho I saw that fucked up teacher there
Yelled at me and threatened to send me to a FUCKING asylum
She didn't talk to me for 2 weeks
She threatened she wouldn't send me to school anymore and that she's taking me back to our village
THE VILLAGE THAT GAVE ME MY PAIN
AND YHE REASON TO ||KMS||
I hate her.
I hate him.
I hate me
I hate every fucking one.
bless your heart 
i could never properly help with this becuase i've never been through the same things, neither has your mom I assume so she has no room to be mad at you, especially with the ||sa|| stuff. but i hope you heal one day
Ty
But I hate this so fucking much because she thinks I did ||get raped|| and almost got me to a FUCKING hospital to check me if ||I'm pure|| I'm sick. I'm sick to the fucking core
The only person who cared for me is someone who isn't even in my blood
She took me to a therapist to give me hell
Help
How could I ever tell that sweet soul I'm no where near better
and thats living proof of a blessing
How could I explain to her that the only think keeping me alive is my promise to her
Thing
How could I explain I'm one last straw from breaking that promise
My heart hurts. Physically and mentally
think of how she would feel if you did break your promise though
I'm pretty sure she'd just be mad
think abt how you felt yesterday when you almost lost someone 😞
Like everyone else
The only ppl who would care are online
But don't worry
I don't plan on anything
online or not you still have someone to reach out to
whether its me or boden or anyone else you know
🎀
Yes but I would never do that
I just got back and read it and I just gotta say I’m so sorry your feeling this way, I understand that’s it’s horribly frustrating to have parents like that and I understand. I want to remind you I’m here for you anytime. And hearing all those things about your old village broke my heart. Nobody deserves to go through that. I hope things begin looking up for you soon.
Thank you boden. I'm sorry you had to read that
I would rather you tell me or anyone else than not knowing your struggling.
Idek honestly
It's okay I'm just overreacting thanks tho
You can’t say that about something so serious, there is no world that you are overreacting, your feelings are completely valid.
And I’m glad you spoke about it
We are all here for you
as long as you continue living you'll heal from it one day 🙂↕️
Ty boden
Thanks
Of course emi, I hope you feel better soon. 
Fuck idk what I'm doing
I haven't exercised in days
I haven't gone on walks for days
Wtf am I doing
Idk why I wonder I'm ||fat|| at this point
Fuck ts
Every thought is hitting me exactly rn
Ideka
Hey emi
You need to talk?
You can dm me if you need to
Or continue here
I know how you feel
Hope you feel better soon emi
I really do
Ty
You gonna be okay?
Dw abt me
I'm sorry boden
I'm so sorry for making you feel like this
I'm sorry
It’s okay
I rly is
I just want to help is all
It’s hard not to
Your my best friend
And seeing you like this I’ll worry abt you
I'm sorry
I really
Am
You don’t have to
You really don’t
I’m not the one struggling at the moment
You are
And I want to help
Dw I'll pull myself together
Man I should stop overreacting
You can’t do everything alone
Fuck
hi
And disregard your feelings
I just won’t
There's not much anyone can do
I can't even help myself
I'm fucked
I hate ts
Why does everyone lie
Wtf did I ever do
My own mother
My own FUCKING MOTHER
I understand emi
some people are just like that
I really do
And I’m sorry
I'm sorry boden
Is there anything at all that you can think of that I could do
For what?
You should stop listening to me boden
I'm just making you upset
You should really not deal with me
No, I’m going to make sure you are okay
I'm sorry for being like this
Are you listening to yourself?
No, you are genuinely perfect the way you are
All you are is kind funny and smart
You don’t need to apologize for being a good human
Emi?
You okay?
I'll be okay
Like, this is a crazy statement, I would never leave your side. After all you have done for me?
I just need to stop overreacting about everything
You aren’t
I'm pretty sure you'd be better
What your going through is real emi
No
What?
No
That’s like
What?
No I wouldn’t
I might be dead right now if it wasn’t for you
So fuck no I wouldn’t be
I would be so devastated if I lost you
Emi?
God emi
I’m so sorry your feeling this pain
You don’t deserve it
Your the least deserving person of this pain
And if I could I would give you the biggest motherfucking hug right now
But you don't deserve it either. You don't deserve to listen to my crap I don't deserve for you to be here with me
You deserve the best boden
Not me.
No
Emi
That’s not true
You deserve all of it
Not the pain
But the support
You don’t deserve the pain
You deserve joy
And happiness
Not this dark heaviness
And if that means I got to listen to you I’m happy to help
I always am
You are probably like
The person who deserves this pain the LEAST
I almost quit
On everything
Life. Discord.
Someone changed that
And I'm grateful
But I'm also sorry for putting them through that
Thank you my dearest friend
W boden fr
How tf does everyone know? And no just because we're matching isn't reasonable
what?
Everytime I talk about a friend everyone knows it's boden
cause yall talk good about eachother and talk together in ur journal alot
Oh oke
but u are kind
Bff bff
guess what
chicken butt
chicken head
Dear Boden,
I don’t say much, or maybe I do,
But there’s so much I owe to you.
Not in grand ways, not with loud cheer—
Just for being someone real and here.
There were days the world just spun too fast,
And nights I thought I wouldn’t last.
But even when you didn’t know,
You helped me carry what I couldn’t show.
You never needed to fix or mend,
You just listened, like a real friend.
No pressure, no forced advice,
Just kindness said more than once or twice.
You didn’t need to say, “I care,”
It showed in every time you were there.
In messages, in little things,
In peace your simple presence brings.
I know you didn’t sign up for pain,
Or to walk with someone through the rain.
But still you stayed—calm, steady, true—
And it meant the world. It still does too.
You’re the kind of person most don’t find,
The rare, warm soul, the quiet kind.
And maybe you don’t always see
How much you truly did for me.
So thank you, Boden, for all you gave,
For showing up and being brave.
For sitting close when I was far,
For being who you simply are.
Always grateful,
—Em
@nimble tide There's lwk another one for DMS 💔😔🔫
Read this while I record the other
Holy shit Emi
Thank you
I’m reading it now
Wow Emi this is phenomenal
You're phenomenal
ABC123
Not me having the best time of my life
Lol crazy how I make shit awkward
U need a therapist ngl
I had 2
Of course not at the same time but
I made one of them cry like 3 times 😝
She was a bitch tho
New cat in the hood
I wanna name her Tay
Or Batman
Is this about last night? Because if it is I’m telling you that you didn’t make it awkward lol, we just didn’t have anything to talk about.
Nah
Okiiiee
Mini update: I'm going to the hospital in a few minutes with my brother because my condition kinda worsened (some dumb fucking person decided to mention to me a few things from a year ago which kinda gave me a whole ass panic attack and my heartbeat quickened rapidly) but um. Yay.
I did remove her from snap so we good
Chat got keeps saying I have like heart inflammation but anywaysss
Bye
Good luck!!! Hope u get better soon 🫶
Guess who just got told they need a psychiatrist 🥰
Jk.
I went there and it was like super quick
They did a few analysis with some weird ass machines
And came to the conclusion I was overreacting and that it's probably just anxiety haha!
Because like fr who doesn't have heart aches and almost heart attacks for 10 years straight I mean that's totally normal for someone with anxiety
Fml
This place sucks
it without a doubt was anxiety but it's just concerning how badly a mental thing affects you physically

Yeah but why tf would they put me under machines for half an hour to just tell me I'm overreacting
Did I mention I fucking fainted in the middle of the road and like 15 people gathered around me thinking a car ran over me 🥰
Sooo fun.
Sarcasm btw.
The doctor said it's lack of sleep and food but fuck him all he wanted was a bribe
it can just be overreacting but some people can have way more harsh reactions than others
me for comparison i've had a lot of stressful periods this and last year but it's given me nothing more than heartache for no more than like 20 minutes
you don't have to answer this but does your family have a history of heart problems??
Yes. And I don't really remember much but at around 4 I had like a heart attack bc of something that happened at home but idk
nd guess who just found out they don't allow me at the dorm anymore.
Fml
THAT bad no but pretty close yes
They just texted my mom saying they don't allow me at the dorm anymore. Yay. Soo happy rn /s
Not that I care I'm better staying at home but wtv
They just never told me they won't allow me anymore till now that they texted mom
Istg
I don't even know how I feel rn
a bit stupid of them
I can't blame them. I did something really dumb there that I can't talk about
i say think happy thoughts for the time being
you shouldn't be throwing yourself into more stress after what's already happened today

Thanks airhead
of course twin
are you able to listen to music right now or anything
to take it out of your head for a bit
I'm watching a movie with my family
They aren't mad at me smh which is great
They're being pretty supportive
I'm actually almost happy
Like I get to stay home
And school is pretty close from here
I also get to keep texting w my friend's on discord
So it's great
I was scared I wasn't gonna be able to text boden during school days bc if my dorm but now I'm good
Ty gang
Awww
Also I just read it after I got home and I hope your doing way better now<3
I am I really am
I’m so glad to hear, enjoy the movie

Ty I'm barely watching it but anw
Lmao enjoy the moment,
Lots of people don’t enjoy that until it’s passed
Yeah. I'm kinda stressed out bc I have to go meet the people at the dorm to get my clothes soon but ik that will pass
Me praying God doesn't turn this one person into a lesson because he's just too kind
Me bc that one guy
"Oh do you like things so far? Cuz I've been thinking bout forever;"
Little vent bc this school year is gonna be a living hell
Had to hide a part of my lip bc it's a little bad rn
"I don't think they are serious. I don't think they mean any harm. But it would sicken you too if it happened to you and you had to relive every part" /lyr
Sometimes I look at some people and kind of wonder if they're really okay? Or are they really good at pretending.
Sometimes I can't make myself believe how much my mood changes
I love telling people to sleep when I haven't slept more than 2 hours for days
you should sleep
Nah
sleep
r u wearing a suit in that video
No it's a shirt
Probably 8 hours of sleep u need to get
¯_(ツ)_/¯
Forgot spoiler
I think I messed up my lips a little
ok
Meet n greet w Noa
Dog is cute
Do u need a cookie?
Did I ever mention I collect Yu GI Oh cards
I don't have a lot
Just like 96
I'ma show em later 😋
I have only like one original
The rose dragon or smth like that
A card game gang
Search it up
These are my only rare ones 😔
I'm not selling them this is just the price
I saw that but ok
I'm good ty wbu
im struggling by day but im fine ig now
Why do u keep changing pfps gang 😭
Nah
Alr im bored
it could be worth more if you get it graded 
I know but I'm collecting not selling
I have more xx
But I didn't research all
What cards twin
pokemon 
i have one charizard that's worth a bit above £130 but idk about the rest
a lot of them i really like too so i dont wanna sell them
i need to post them on my journal once im bothered to show them
96 btw
I will
My poem notebook
Most are in Albanian and they aren't like the ones I posted here that were vents.these are more like metaphorical
I'll post the ones in English
Couldn't show first page cuz then I would've doxxed myself 💔
that reminds me that i really should get a book for writing all mine
but its cool that you've written so many

gosh
But I've left it at my previous village 💔
I'm getting it one day
I hope I didn't burn it or something
And there's like just 27 here

I haven't put some
They're in my notes
I'll probably get another notebook for my vent ones
We don't talk ab my writing 😔
its okay everyone had bad handwriting at some point..
i dont do much writing anymore so idk if my handwriting is good or not
i mean like hand writing anyway, pen on paper
Like wtf is this gang
😔🙏
Only 2 people in my life told me my writing is good
A school inspector
And a teacher
Ty lol
I'll go put my notes poems there
Bye gang
Fuck ts I forgot how to write gang

all of the above 
airhead
ues
can i give u advice
yes
never
smoke
never vape
never gamble
never be homophobic or transphobic
dont be a rude person
be a kind person
also
please never take drugs
and talk to someone when u need to or when u are feeling dowwn
i didnt know i am cooked
i will
ew french fries
ew
Bruh
just kidding
Lol ok
hru
I'm alright wbu
tryna find a reason to live
Live for your future gang
what future lol
Made this for my friends bday 🎆✌️🔥
Inside I'll add a poem and a note in my language sooo
I'll show how it turned out in a videoo
And translate it in English
thats so good twin how long did it take
It's a poem and a written letter ab her 🔥🔥
But gang
I did all this is the card
While the gift packaging looks like shot
Shit
Trust the process shit
I actually like how it turned out
ohhh
it would have been cool if u could have done like a red outline
going around the whole card
My hand would shake lwk
It would be nice If I did it with a marker but I don't have any
yeah 😞
"Call me on the phone at 3. Ill talk to you while half asleep. Complaining about your mother so I'll take you to the cemetery. Rant to me, I like the sound, I like your voice. I like your mouth." /Lyr
Tysm gang 🫶
I changed my outfit when we went out tho
Should I start drawing again chat
yes 
Sometimes I feel like time is passing so fast but also so slow
Sometimes I just tell myself "oh it's just another day"
But then realize
It's ANOTHER day
And it's just passing without me even acknowledging it
I should really spend it more wisely. Although I feel like I am I dunno
YIPPEEEE
Wait I'll break it down in english
is 10 good or bad in your school
Albanian : 9
English : 10
Math: 6
Physics: 6
Biology: 9
Chemistry: 7
Geography: 8
Civics : 10
History: 9
Music: 10
Art: 10
PE: 10
Technology: 10
Deutsch: 9
It's highest score
We have a 4-10 grading system
Not my fam making fun of me cuz I got a batter grade at English than my own language 😭

Chat I think my face is actually finally clearing up
Not too much but
It feels more fresh
I wanna start new this school year
Because honestly I hated the dorm I was in
Now I can restart everything
istg if botghost got removed...
Stay safe everyone
"The Stars Don't Ask, They Stay"
The stars don’t whisper, yet I hear,
Their quiet hum so crystal clear.
They shimmer where I cannot go,
But still, I chase their silver glow.
Each night I look and wonder why
They never fall, they never cry.
Yet deep within their burning flame,
I see your voice, I feel your name.
You are a star—so far, so bright,
You stay above my reach each night.
But still you pull me, still you shine,
A love that isn’t wholly mine.
I chart your path across my sky,
And every time I breathe, I try
To understand this pull, this ache—
This love I feel I didn't fake.
The stars don’t ask for you to stay,
But still they guide me anyway.
Like you—who never told me "stay,"
But I remain, I find no way.
No gravity, yet here I float,
With dreams and wishes in my throat.
I send them to your silent sphere,
Each hope a whisper: “Wish you’re near.”
You never meant to blaze this deep,
But now you haunt the hours I sleep.
And though I know you cannot fall,
You're written in my every wall.
A thousand stars, yet I want you—
The one that flickers softest hue.
You never promised, never swore,
Yet here I am, forevermore.
You love like stars: with light, not touch—
So distant, yet it means so much.
No need for closeness, flesh, or skin—
You live like constellations within.
So let them say it's just the sky,
That stars are dead and love runs dry—
But I have watched your soul ignite,
And that alone... still gives me light.
“Before I Knew”
It wasn’t loud, it wasn’t grand,
No fireworks or hearts in hand.
No perfect lines, no sweeping skies,
Just quiet moments, soft replies.
A laugh too warm, a glance too long,
A shared hum to a favorite song.
The way your words could light the dark,
Lit something small — then struck a spark.
It wasn’t planned, I didn’t see
That love had slowly captured me.
Not like the stories love is told,
But like a whisper, soft and bold.
The way you spoke, the way you cared,
The silence where you simply stared.
It wrapped around my guarded soul,
And filled what others couldn’t hold.
The smallest things — your late-night texts,
The way you knew what I’d say next.
Your voice — it calmed my every storm,
And in your laugh, the world felt warm.
You didn’t save me, not at all,
I didn’t stumble, trip, or fall.
But somewhere in the calm and light,
You built a place that just felt right.
I used to fear this kind of pull,
The kind that makes the quiet full.
But here I am — a heart once scared,
Now softer just because you cared.
And maybe love won’t last for years,
It might still end in distant tears.
But for right now, in this heart's view,
I’ve fallen deep — and it’s with you.
AHHH ITS SO GOOD
The others are buried deeppppppp
i am like a fangirl rn
idk why but your poems hit a lot, like genuinely, i am not trying to over exaggerate, it feels organic, all the emotions are there, thats why i love your poems
Damn, those are rly good
dont get burnt-out trynna think poems for me though, it is fine as long as you enjoy writing it and you feel it, no matter how bad or good it is, i will read it
Nah. I really need to write more positive poems anyway
Like
I've written so much in my notes
And I only found four more positive ones
I'll be sending them all rn tho
They're pretty short
“The Night”
I love the night, the silent air,
The way the moon just softly stares.
The world slows down, the noise is gone,
And I no longer feel so wrong.
No judging eyes, no heavy sound,
Just stars that shimmer all around.
The shadows wrap me like a song,
A place where I can just belong.
The day feels loud, too bright, too near,
But night? The night will always hear.
It doesn't ask me why I cry,
It only watches as tears dry.
The wind is cool, it speaks so low,
It whispers things I’ll never show.
I breathe it in, and feel a bit
Like maybe I could handle it.
I love the night, it knows my name,
And doesn’t treat me just the same.
When everyone else turns away—
The night, at least, decides to stay.
“A Pocket of Light”
There’s warmth in the way the morning peeks,
Through sleepy clouds and mountain peaks.
A golden hush, a gentle breeze,
The kind of calm that puts hearts at ease.
A bird will sing without a crowd,
A song so small, but proud and loud.
A flower grows between two stones—
A sign that joy still finds its home.
There’s laughter shared in quiet ways,
A smile that softly lights your days.
A friend who texts a simple “hi,”
And suddenly, the ache runs dry.
The world can bruise, it’s true, it stings,
But oh, the light in little things—
A star that winks in velvet skies,
A wish that dares to never die.
So hold the glow, no matter size,
It lives in you, behind your eyes.
And even when the shadows bend—
The light is yours, my constant friend.
"The Sky Doesn’t Rush"
The sky doesn’t hurry, it takes its time,
It paints each dusk, each moonlight rhyme.
The stars don’t fret if they shine too late,
They twinkle slow, and trust their fate.
The wind hums tunes no one taught,
It dances free, with tangled thought.
The river flows, not straight, but true,
It winds through meadows kissed with dew.
And I—I'll breathe like branches do,
Swaying soft in skies of blue.
Not every step must have a goal,
Some are just to soothe the soul.
So let me rest beneath the trees,
With nothing loud, and all at ease.
The world still spins, the birds still sing—
Without my rush, without my wing.
The sky reminds me, calm and kind:
You’re not behind, you’re just aligned.
“Lanterns in the Wind”
There’s a path I walk when the world’s asleep,
Where the stars lean close and the hush runs deep.
The grass wears dew like a silken thread,
And the moon lays silver where I tread.
Lanterns drift in the wind above,
Hung by hands I’ll never know or love.
They flicker like thoughts I never say,
Yet warm my chest in a silent way.
The trees don’t speak, but I feel them hum,
Soft lullabies that make me numb.
Not the bad kind — no, not fear —
Just peace that settles when no one’s near.
Crickets whisper secrets of old,
Of dreams that falter, of wishes bold.
Yet even the broken dreams still glow
In the quiet where the starlights grow.
I sit on a hill where time feels slow,
And let my tired feelings go.
The ones that ache, the ones that bend—
The kind that never seem to end.
The sky doesn’t scold, nor ask me why
I let my heavy heart drift high.
It simply holds me, soft and wide,
A friend I never had to hide.
There’s comfort here in being small,
In not needing to rise or stand tall.
Just to exist and feel the air,
And know, for once, I’m gently there.
So I walk where lanterns dance and spin,
And breathe with the breeze that holds me in.
If the world stays dark or doesn’t mend—
At least I’ve found this place, my friend.
This is it ☠️
In my notes
So that's crazy
your happy poems give a sense of bittersweet
gawd damn, thats top tier right there
the contrast is just 
Tyyy
I appreciate that someone is reading them
Seriously
Y'all make me want to actually write more
most important is to enjoy though
Ofc I enjoy it
It's just that I started to lose the point since no one else saw it
But I love writing poems
I wrote my first poem at 10
But it was so depressing I threw it awayyy
NOOO
I was 10 lol if someone saw it I would've been doomed
I hope we go back to get things or maybe to visit grandma so then I can check
I really hope I didn't burn it
its fine if you don't have it
No it's js that I actually want it
aight then
Ty for reading tho
anytime 
Ima do a countdown for my bdayyy
Me realizing it's two days away after this..
Nvm.
Tomorrowwwww
It’s the 28th not the 27th gng 😭
"Just Because I Can"
I danced in the kitchen with socks on my feet,
Spinning in circles to my own little beat.
No reason, no rhythm, no plan in my hand —
Just laughing and living, just because I can.
I sang with the birds as they chirped in the trees,
I whispered my dreams to the wandering breeze.
The sun winked at me like it perfectly knew,
Today was a moment too lovely to lose.
I skipped down the sidewalk, I grinned at the sky,
Let troubles fall off me like clouds drifting by.
Not waiting for perfect or some bigger plan —
I chose to be happy, just because I can.
So bring me the morning, the sunlight, the song,
The right that I have to be silly and strong.
There’s magic in moments, not drawn or well-planned —
But found in the joy of just because I can.
my bday is tomorrow 🎉
ITS MY BDAYYY
HAPPY BORTHFAY!!!!!
“Fay”
I'm actually so fucking happy rn
Man I know this one personnnnnnn
And I'm so happy I know them
I wish it could've been gold but idm
I think it's obvious I love blue
Getting noticed from your fav ytbr twice is crazy
I hope youre doing well Emi
love you!! /p
Tyty laz, lots of love xx
Best boyfriend core >>
So prettyyyy
We're cooked
these look so nice
Who reacted?
Lmaoo just this poet named joker
I absolutely love her work
I might start working on songs and drawings more
I also plan on buying a guitar if my family allows me
My current song is almost finished but I'm still getting inspiration on what to add
I finished my song RAWR
Title: “Baby Don’t ||Suicide||”
Verse 1
I see the tears behind your eyes,
The nights you hide, the silent cries.
The weight you carry, no one sees,
The battles fought just to breathe.
I know the pain feels endless, real,
The hurt you hold, the wounds that heal… so slow.
But hear my voice, I’m calling you,
There’s a light you’re meant to know.
Pre-Chorus
Don’t let the darkness win tonight,
Hold on to me, hold on to life.
Even broken hearts can fight,
Even lost souls find their light.
Chorus
Baby, don’t ||suicide||, I need you here,
The world’s not worth it if you disappear.
I know it’s heavy, I know it’s cold,
But your story’s not done, it’s yet to unfold.
Baby, don’t ||suicide,|| please stay alive,
There’s more ahead, I swear you’ll survive.
Verse 2
I see the scars, I hear the pain,
I know the storm that feels like rain.
But even storms eventually pass,
And sunlight comes to kiss the grass.
You’re not alone, I’m by your side,
Take my hand, let’s turn the tide.
One breath at a time, one day, one night,
We’ll find the strength to keep the fight.
Pre-Chorus
Don’t let the darkness win tonight,
Hold on to me, hold on to life.
Even broken hearts can fight,
Even lost souls find their light.
Chorus
Baby, don’t ||suicide,|| I need you here,
The world’s not worth it if you disappear.
I know it’s heavy, I know it’s cold,
But your story’s not done, it’s yet to unfold.
Baby, don’t ||suicide,|| please stay alive,
There’s more ahead, I swear you’ll survive.
Bridge
I know the night feels endless, cruel,
But even shadows bend to light’s rule.
Hold on, baby, don’t let go,
There’s more to life than you can know.
Final Chorus
Baby, don’t ||suicide||, I need you here,
The world’s not worth it if you disappear.
I know it’s heavy, I know it’s cold,
But your story’s not done, it’s yet to unfold.
Baby, don’t ||suicide,|| please stay alive,
There’s hope ahead — you will survive.
Outro
Hold on… just hold on…
I’m here, I’m not gone.
mind if i make a cover of this ?
I don't mind, do show me tho if you can
I'll work on it tomo once i get home
i got the chords n everything
idk if youve made it into a song already i have a lil tune i cooked up
alls i have now is social anxiety
I haven't
I'm cooked
I'm tutoring my cousin because he has to take an exam on math
And it determines if he passes the class
Oh Goodluck
Rs, the towel is bc my hair was wet and I didn't wanna make the shirt wet 🥶
Yes I made the shirt wet anw
I hit the spiderman pose to turn off the camera smh
The shirt is cool beans
Niice outfit
Thats a Coool design
Ty
I have 258 equations to write down for my cousin and make him learn them before the 27th....
Not learn them but understand them.
My brain hurts
I wrote 30
So breaking it down 288 equations.
I'm cooked
If I wasn't sick this would be easier
Might pull an all nighter to finish all this
🙂 🔫
Realizing I have extras
goodluck
Drumroll
My aunt came and took my cousin
I don't have to tutor him anymore
I also got new clothes!!
I feel like life might be getting better.
I also changed my eyebrows a little
I like them more like this
I accidentally cut a little more than necessary on one of them but tbh
I'm lwk the only one who notices ts
I'm going to work on a song again
There's not much left in it
Dis is almost impossible game chat 😞
✨ Title: “Every Way”
Verse 1
When you walk into the room,
The world forgets its gloom,
Every color starts to bloom,
Like the sun after the rain.
Pre-Chorus
You don’t even see,
What you mean to me,
But I’ll keep on saying,
‘Cause the truth won’t fade away—
Chorus
You’re perfect in every way,
Brighter than the stars that guide me.
Perfect in every way,
A melody that sets me free.
You don’t have to change, not a single thing,
You’re the song my heart will always sing.
Verse 2
The cracks you think you hide,
Are diamonds deep inside.
Every scar you wear with pride,
Writes the story of your name.
Pre-Chorus
And I hope you’ll believe,
What I always see,
The light in your soul
Is forever gonna stay—
Chorus
You’re perfect in every way,
Brighter than the stars that guide me.
Perfect in every way,
A melody that sets me free.
You don’t have to change, not a single thing,
You’re the song my heart will always sing.
Bridge
So don’t doubt, don’t fear,
I’ll always be here.
Every word, every breath,
Says you’re perfect, oh—
Final Chorus
You’re perfect in every way,
Brighter than the stars that guide me.
Perfect in every way,
A melody that sets me free.
Nothing could replace who you are today,
You’re perfect in every way.
Pretend you dk who it's about 😉
Noa core
😨
Holy moly!
Yay
I spoke to an old friend
He's a little older but he's cool beans
He's like my uncle
Lovely guy
"Untitled"
A flower can wilt
It can break it can die
And once it's rebuilt
It's still the same one
You can try and replace with the same kind
But the same kind has the same effect
It will wither and cry
It will cry under rain it will fall under snow
And when spring is back
It will start to regrow.
That's for one kind
The other one stands
But when spring is back
It falls with a glance
A glance towards the sky as it feels it's regret
It grew in the wrong environment.
Now we will have to wait again.
We will wait for it to regrow
We will watch it dance gracefully
Shining with the snow.
Chat
I might switch school
Some school is begging mom to convince me to enroll there
Yes you are
Aw ty
Maybe it’s because they think that you’re super smart and cool and they want you
Fam said no 🙂↔️
Why
It's too far
I see
IM NOT GOING BACK TO THE DORM
Oh god
Oh
Thank godddd
I hope this school year works 🤞🏻
Yess good luck work hard and stay safe
Yesss
My dad is home!
Im so happy happy happy
Yes he was a different person in the past but he actually changed !
He's the only one who actually listens to me
Everyone else js interrupts me
But he listens and answers
YAYYY!!!
Thats so awesome
Im so glad that he does that for you
Yaaay
Thats great
I got my school books
13
Mannnn
Ts is gonna suckj
I saw one of the nice nuns
From my dorm
And my only friend from there
I also saw our English and PE teacher
The English teacher was giving us the books
But I saw my PE teacher whole shopping
It's so nice when people talk to you in public
I bought lotsa stuff for dad
And lemons
Niice
I'm finally homee
The only moment I sat down is to eat rn
I'm not hungry 🙁
Typical party table for our fam
Ima pretend I'm eating 
I ate banana
Damn
Nabana
it looks great
I'm gonna steal this as my inspo
OH HELL NAH
I was on my way to meet up w mom
And I walked through a big public garden
And a kid
Fuckin yelled
At the top of his goddamn lungs
"BALLERINA CAPPUCCINA"
Hell naw
I met my fwiend
She's so cool beans
And I used the power of memory to take us to some guys house out of town
Because mom doesn't remember shit
And we had to go there to introduce him to a friend
Cuz he solves shit
He's so cool beans
He also studies the paranormal
But tdy he was out of town
So I had to go and talk to his neighbors 
Ion like talking to strangers
But I did
And it worked very wl
And we got his new number




