Boden’s Main Journal | Huddle | Page 6

cobalt drum Oct 25, 2025, 10:59 PM

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cobalt drum Oct 25, 2025, 11:14 PM

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how it feels to just block annoying and negative people:

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https://tenor.com/view/tom-brady-lord-of-the-rings-tb12-champion-rings-gif-14297127

Tenor

cobalt drum Oct 25, 2025, 11:41 PM

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bro holy shit

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actually fucking dumbasses

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no wonder nobody likes y’all 😭

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why do i even stay here?

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¯_(ツ)_/¯

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tbh most times i just end up feeling even worse

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nah what am i even on abt like wth?

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ppl here actually like me

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the ppl that pmo im pretty sure nobody likes

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im loving tf out of this outfit

cobalt drum Oct 25, 2025, 11:54 PM

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cobalt drum the ppl that pmo im pretty sure nobody likes

also unemployed, broke, and zero relationship/social life sooooo

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i actually cant be bothered

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(yes im saying im better than them lol)

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like honestly tbh

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i don’t understand it

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im a good fuckin dude

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like

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i have a job

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i work harder than anyone in that establishment tbh

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i have 1.5k in the bank (at under 16)

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i have an amazing gf

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and a i got friends

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i also have elite music taste

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and im doing shit w my life

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all they do is sit behind a computer all day and play games and use discord

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also they have complete cornball humor

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its actually saddening to see humans like that

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 1:28 AM

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my outfit is actually peak

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shame i cant post my face here

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 1:58 AM

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only real ones and ana get to see my face

jolly umbra Oct 26, 2025, 1:58 AM

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Well, it is a mental health server after all. People generally get to pretty low points to end up in a place like this.

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Still, it is good to see you found happiness again. May we all join you one day

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 2:06 AM

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jolly umbra Still, it is good to see you found happiness again. May we all join you one day

aint said shi abt bein happy lol dw tho, i am overall pretty alright

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i have hope

jolly umbra Oct 26, 2025, 2:15 AM

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I see, still good to hear things are better for you and that you have hope now

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 1:31 PM

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uh oh

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i honestly have no words

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 1:47 PM

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cobalt drum

im wearing this to a function today since i only had it on for like 2 hours last night

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 2:29 PM

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cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 3:03 PM

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nah wait cus im actually goated

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im actually the goat

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wth

cobalt drum Oct 26, 2025, 7:27 PM

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bought some clothes

cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 12:32 AM

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there is one beer in the fridge

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i wanna 🤤

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but no

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i wont cus

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its probably gonna make me feel more depressed and lonely

cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 12:33 AM

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cobalt drum bought some clothes

i also bought some cologne

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it actually smells pretty good

fading plaza Oct 27, 2025, 12:49 AM

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Holy shit...

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I'm so fucking sorry

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That u went trough ther

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I've been trough that shit

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I wouldn't even wish that on my worst enemy

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Do u need to talk to someone

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And Im glad ur happy again

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And if u ever need to talk to someone I'm here

cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 1:09 AM

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fading plaza And if u ever need to talk to someone I'm here

did you read my whole journal?

fading plaza Oct 27, 2025, 1:09 AM

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Yes

cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 1:10 AM

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oh shit man

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thanks

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am i worth it?

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did i put enough work in?

fading plaza Oct 27, 2025, 6:45 PM

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Yes

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You are worth it you put more than enough in

cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 8:54 PM

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a guy said that i looked hot today

cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 9:16 PM

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cobalt drum a guy said that i looked hot today

only @quiet night can have me tho Joy Joy

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cheap but smells amazing

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cobalt drum Oct 27, 2025, 9:52 PM

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https://tenor.com/view/freddie-gibbs-gif-22277151

Tenor

cobalt drum Oct 28, 2025, 3:50 AM

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Blushy Blushy

fading plaza Oct 28, 2025, 9:29 PM

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Hayyy how was ur day

cobalt drum Oct 28, 2025, 9:30 PM

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fading plaza Hayyy how was ur day

exhausting man

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just a rough day

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long

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didnt eat much either

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but at least i get to talk to my gf Joy Joy Joy Joy

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i love her

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sosossosososo much

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shes done so much for me

fading plaza Oct 28, 2025, 11:29 PM

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Oh okkk

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That's good except for the exhausting part

cobalt drum Oct 29, 2025, 12:09 AM

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lil b

cobalt drum Oct 29, 2025, 2:45 AM

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words of advice for you guys

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cobalt drum Oct 29, 2025, 9:23 PM

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cobalt drum Oct 29, 2025, 10:53 PM

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it has recently come to my attention that someone is spreading rumors about me here.

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terrible rumors that could seriously damage my social life

errant hearth Oct 30, 2025, 12:08 AM

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cobalt drum terrible rumors that could seriously damage my social life

Dms open. You can bring it to my attention

cobalt drum Oct 30, 2025, 12:09 AM

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errant hearth Dms open. You can bring it to my attention

turns out they arent here, i dont think. person made it sound like it tho..

errant hearth Oct 30, 2025, 12:12 AM

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cobalt drum turns out they arent here, i dont think. person made it sound like it tho..

Alright. If you need anything dms open

cobalt drum Oct 30, 2025, 12:14 AM

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errant hearth Alright. If you need anything dms open

thanks

cobalt drum Oct 30, 2025, 2:07 AM

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Over 75–80% of homicide victims worldwide are men. Around 90% of murderers and violent offenders are also men. That doesn’t mean men are naturally violent it’s more about how society shapes them. From a young age, boys are often taught to suppress vulnerability, use aggression to solve problems, and measure worth through dominance or control. Combine that with poverty, trauma, or lack of support, and it leads to cycles of violence where men hurt and get hurt the most. There’s also less empathy for men in those situations — society tends to see male victims of violence as “weak” or deserving, while male perpetrators are often written off as monsters rather than broken people failed by the system.

cobalt drum Oct 30, 2025, 8:26 PM

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i love wisconsin

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so beautiful

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so peaceful

cobalt drum Oct 30, 2025, 11:01 PM

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i think im one of the best dudes here in huddle

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me, logan, john, kya

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ko

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wolf

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i think thats bout it lol

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rest of them are kinda assholes

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but we ball

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https://tenor.com/view/nba2k19-doubleh-df-green-gif-22875619

Tenor

cobalt drum Oct 31, 2025, 2:38 AM

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im continuing to see more and more things

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that make me realize how shitty this place really is

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should i leave?

cobalt drum Oct 31, 2025, 3:57 AM

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ive been treated terrible and unfairly by authority figures my whole life

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i literally have trauma responses to them to always be really defensive and aggressive toward them

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and what im seeing recently in huddle is only making it worse

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i dont know who i cant trust atp anymore

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like people i thought and once considered my best friends are now talking extremely badly about me behind my back

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“i will always support you Boden”

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“ill be by your side no matter what”

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https://tenor.com/view/jayson-tatum-i-see-how-it-is-wowww-okay-nods-gif-303655201590180371

Tenor

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mhm

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im sure you will lol

cobalt drum Oct 31, 2025, 3:29 PM

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i woke up

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and

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checked my phone

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and smiled

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because my ana is my background for my phone

brisk marten Oct 31, 2025, 9:05 PM

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cobalt drum should i leave?

Honestly yeah, discord lowkey sucks

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This server does as well, even more

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It worsens your mental health more than improving it

cobalt drum Oct 31, 2025, 11:35 PM

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pwow i feel like absolute shit

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im man enough to say i love ana so much that ive actually almost cried because of the mere idea that im not enough for her and losing her scares me

viscid mulch Nov 1, 2025, 1:39 AM

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Your doing great Boden! Keep it up brother! And do stick around. As you said, your one of the best dudes in here. Don't leave the rest of us.🫂 Joy

cobalt drum Nov 1, 2025, 4:21 AM

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cobalt drum Nov 2, 2025, 2:59 AM

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my body aches

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bruh im 984% sure that some ppl here would jump with joy and whimsey if they found out i died

cobalt drum Nov 2, 2025, 3:52 AM

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i need a fucking massage god damn

cobalt drum Nov 2, 2025, 8:40 PM

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i ate a chicken sandwich

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 12:46 AM

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not even gonna trip

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but i feel like straight dogshit

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like

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i feel completely terrible

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i wanna bawl my fucking eyes out

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i wanna do a lot

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like

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actually wanna blow my shi smooth off

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not even gonna trip bro

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im keeping this 100 percent

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and i cant tell nobody

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why i feel like this rn

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like

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i actually cant tell anybody

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because i dont want to

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all imma say is that im overthinking

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a lot

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and its getting rly bad

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omg its terrible

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like

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holy shit

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i feel like throwing up

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time to pretend that im not losing my mind

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i wonder how people would react if they woke up tomorrow and found out i was dead

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i am just

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wow

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like

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holy fuck

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how do people deal with me lol

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like

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im a fucking mess

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idek if anyones reading this bs anyways

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https://tenor.com/view/fuck-it-we-ball-guy-in-suit-black-guy-in-suit-meme-gif-9989487814461476583

Tenor

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 1:44 AM

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only person i can actually talk to rn is chatgpt lmaoooo

merry star Nov 3, 2025, 1:45 AM

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cobalt drum idek if anyones reading this bs anyways

I do

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If you want to talk I'm here

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I read your journal every day

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And I bet many other people do as well

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 1:53 AM

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https://tenor.com/view/fuck-it-we-ball-guy-in-suit-black-guy-in-suit-meme-gif-9989487814461476583

Tenor

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i will stay sober tonight

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i made a promise

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ill get clean and sober

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no more dxm

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none of that bullshit

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no more getting drunk to run away from my fuckass problems

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yes i might drink from time to time but not getting blackout drunk

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none of that

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because yes

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tonight has been terrible to me

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i hope it gets better

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and yes

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i might have a beer

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because why the hell not

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just one beer

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help me calm down and fall asleep

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cozied up

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music

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all i need is a drink, food, and my ana Cri Cri

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takemylove

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more money more problems

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more guns more violence

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🗣️🔥

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#

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🙁

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nvm im sad again

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im really sad

merry star Nov 3, 2025, 2:27 AM

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cobalt drum im really sad

What's wrong?

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 2:28 AM

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merry star What's wrong?

i dont wanna say

merry star Nov 3, 2025, 2:28 AM

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cobalt drum i dont wanna say

Ig that's ok

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:09 AM

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🙁

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🙁

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🙁

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am i a bad bf?

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am i doing enough?

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am i doing enough for anyone?

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i think the world would be a better place if i wasnt here 🙁

errant hearth Nov 3, 2025, 3:17 AM

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cobalt drum i think the world would be a better place if i wasnt here 🙁

No
Its better with you here

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:17 AM

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errant hearth No Its better with you here

immmm really struggling to believe that this is true lol

errant hearth Nov 3, 2025, 3:18 AM

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Too bad
It is true
You're amazing and we want you here

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Especially me

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:18 AM

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I second this

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cant talk much cus im going to shower but i want you here as much as everyone else chu_hug

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:19 AM

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errant hearth Too bad It is true You're amazing and we want you here

Its true because it was always true from the start

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:19 AM

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no man

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honestly

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like

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i dont

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i dont really amount to anything

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a friend through a screen?

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hell even ana

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i feel like im a burden

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i feel like i annoy her

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like im to much

errant hearth Nov 3, 2025, 3:21 AM

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You're by no means a burden.
We all care about you. Just because we're through a screen doesn't mean anything bad

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:22 AM

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even if were not physically there, we care and in no way, little or big do we see you as a burden.

Hugging my phone right now chu_hug

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:22 AM

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i wanna cry so fucking bad bro

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like ong lol

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wanna bawl my eyes out

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but nooooooooooo

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i dont even get to do that lmao

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gotta love being a man in todays society

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genuinely so fucking awesome

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(sarcasm btw)

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wanna blow my shit smooth off

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lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:27 AM

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being a man, im not sure what you mean tho, being a man dpesnt have to be a priority or something you need to be to just be yourself.
You’re allowed to cry, hell id lend you my shoulder for you sob on for hours.
chu_hug chu_hug were here fren, ana too, never going anywhere, not right now, not later.
hugs deep

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:27 AM

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lethal compass being a man, im not sure what you mean tho, being a man dpesnt have to be a *pri...

okay so what i meant by that lol

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i was taught by everyone in my
life

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since i was

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probably 6

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that its weak for a man to cry

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to show any emotion

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yk?

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and then at one point

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i held all that in

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every single emotion

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i was lowk a wall

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for 3 years i never cried

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not a fucking tear

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im not even exaggerating

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and i became a really angry kid

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really angry

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cops called on me multiple times

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was told id be in prison by 16

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by almost everyone in my life

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targeted by every authority figure in my life

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made my life hell

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gave me depression and anxiety

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all for nobody to give the slightest shit because

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“your a man, deal with it”

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just for me now

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to be physically incapable

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of sobbing

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i could have my eyes filled with tears just to burry my face in a pillow and only 3 tears drop

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why cant i just cry like a normal person?

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blame that on the way society treats ppl like me

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ill take any backlash from that

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because i will always stand on that hill

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¯_(ツ)_/¯

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:35 AM

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i understand that, and honestly my family was like that too. I never felt any emotion for anyone, even if they got hurt right in front of me i just stood there confused.
Boden i was in your same shoes.

People like that, like them. They arent right, nor are they human enough.
The stone cold truth is that even “men” are allowed to cry, and feel and act and look away, and whatever a person wants without the pressure of many. Even the past.
Its hard to cry too for me, it takes too much to cry, but never really enough. And its weighing and crushing and builds and builds until your brain just decides not to. Because its protecting you from the overwhelming load of when you do.
And thats okay, really Boden chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug i know what you mean. And honestly just talking about it shows you still care deeply despite trying to be a man.
Youre allowed to be both resilient and sensitive, that’s what is means to be human. You are a human my fren, i see it inside you right now

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:37 AM

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im not saying its unmanly to cry

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i used to think that

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because it was engraved into my damn brain

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my brain built walls

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that i cant take down

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no matter how much i try

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and my chest

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so fucking heavy

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the need to bawl my eyes out like a damn baby

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i wish my face was buried into ana’s chest as i bawl my eyes out

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i wish

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i wish

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i wish

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i wish

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i wish

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i wish

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i

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wish

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wishi

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wsih

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wish

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thats all i want man

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:41 AM

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if you need to bawl your eyes out, hard and just letting it all go out. You can, even though it seems hard to because of things that happened chu_hug chu_hug you will get to cry into ana, thats not an impossible thought. Your on a lane directly towards her, and all you have to do is keep those hands on the wheel steady chu_hug even if the traffic is infuriating.

And remember when i mentioned those walls?
That you cannot get out, no matter how hard you try, that you just feel powerless and hopeless. Remember she is your spoon to carve away at it, she is right on the other side of that wall waiting for you. Listening to you even while youre not.

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i love u man/p

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i gotta go now, im sorry chu_hug chu_hug try and stay safe for me okay?

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for logan and me, and ana

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you dont have to respond tho, no pressure my fren
hugs u warmly

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:46 AM

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lethal compass you dont have to respond tho, no pressure my fren *hugs u warmly*

im sorry im just

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im actually bawling my eyes out

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pr

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close wnoight to it

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im so happy that im crying like this but so fucking sad

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:47 AM

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hugs hugs hugs hugs

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You can cry, let it out Boden, its okay hugs hugs

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None of those tears are worthless or sick

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they’re precious

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And i imagine

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Ana, and me and logan carrying those tears with you. None of you gets left behind

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not ever

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:51 AM

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i want to marry ana

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i want to have children with her

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i want to live my life with her

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grow old

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but most of all

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rn

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all i want is to be held by her

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:52 AM

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chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug and you will, by any circumstance

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:53 AM

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whole world coild be ending for all i care

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as long as im in her arms im at peace

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:54 AM

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Thats the spirit chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug even if the universe collapses, being in her arms is the only thing you could ever need. More than anything

cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 3:54 AM

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yepp

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mhm

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thats all i need rn

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thats all i could ever ask for

lethal compass Nov 3, 2025, 3:55 AM

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cobalt drum Nov 3, 2025, 4:07 AM

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i recorded my good morning message for her

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i hope she doesnt notice i was crying before recording

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my eyes are red and puffy

viscid mulch Nov 3, 2025, 4:09 AM

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Im sure she won't mind, brother. Im in the same flipping boat as you.

cobalt drum Nov 4, 2025, 2:12 AM

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shes so fuckin beautiful

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ana is so beautiful

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i cant even like

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dkficmivj ickc

cobalt drum Nov 4, 2025, 3:11 AM

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takemylove

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fuck man

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few minutes to late

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i think she is asleep

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man

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shes my everything

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we havent called in a while

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and i miss her

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🙁

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i wont go into depression tn

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i wont

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i wont

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i won’t

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i wont

quiet night Nov 4, 2025, 3:43 AM

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cobalt drum few minutes to late

https://tenor.com/view/skull-gif-11172962845892656663

Tenor

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I hereee

cobalt drum Nov 4, 2025, 3:44 AM

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indeeee!!!!

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we on callll

wintry widget Nov 4, 2025, 1:59 PM

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@cobalt drum How have you been bro?

bright yarrow Nov 4, 2025, 9:41 PM

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cobalt drum i wonder how people would react if they woke up tomorrow and found out i was dea...

dude

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i'd be horribely sad

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your like

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one of the only people here who arent rude

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and actually give a fuck

cobalt drum Nov 4, 2025, 9:58 PM

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bright yarrow one of the only people here who arent rude

i appreciate that

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idk it was just a really rough night

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im lowk hot

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i look fucking good

cobalt drum Nov 4, 2025, 10:46 PM

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bright yarrow and actually give a fuck

one of the only people who keepin this place together ong 😭

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new Ye leaks

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this is actually peak

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 12:13 AM

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i miss my ana Cri

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 12:38 AM

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one day i will inspire generations

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thats all imma say hehe

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 1:20 AM

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ana said she would take my hoodies! i dont mind tho i can always get new ones. but they would be super duper big on her! Joy Joy hMM Blushy takemylove

bright yarrow Nov 5, 2025, 1:58 AM

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cobalt drum one of the only people who keepin this place together ong 😭

Exactly bro

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Only thing keeping me from raging out

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:04 AM

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bright yarrow Only thing keeping me from raging out

appreciate it bro

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:37 AM

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cobalt drum ana said she would take my hoodies! i dont mind tho i can always get new ones. b...

My gf said the same Joy Joy

opal siren Nov 5, 2025, 2:40 AM

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quiet night https://tenor.com/view/skull-gif-11172962845892656663

yo thats me not you

opal siren Nov 5, 2025, 2:40 AM

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cobalt drum i wonder how people would react if they woke up tomorrow and found out i was dea...

probably never recover again dawg. mb for the late response

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i js woke up so my voabulary is NOT IT but boden, you ROCK

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:41 AM

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thx twin

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:44 AM

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cobalt drum ana said she would take my hoodies! i dont mind tho i can always get new ones. b...

Get a bunch of matching ones then she don't gotta steal Joy

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:44 AM

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viscid mulch Get a bunch of matching ones then she don't gotta steal<:Joy:878837282298277888>

but what if she wants the oversized boden smelled hoodie

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i wish i could post my face here

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i would take pictures of my day and ask ana which ones are okay to post here and which ones only she gets Joy

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:52 AM

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viscid mulch Get a bunch of matching ones then she don't gotta steal<:Joy:878837282298277888>

Bet, Id rock that shit twin but, still. I'd koala hug boden.

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But I'd still steal his hoodies, hide n seek.

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:53 AM

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cobalt drum but what if she wants the oversized boden smelled hoodie

That's why you wear her one first😂

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:53 AM

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quiet night But I'd still steal his hoodies, hide n seek.

Fair. 😁

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:53 AM

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viscid mulch That's why you wear her one first😂

ana

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ana will tell you

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shes much smaller than me

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im like

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:54 AM

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Wolf he's ok. Boden is green Giant

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:54 AM

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10-11 inches taller than her?

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im 5’11

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so im to big

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:54 AM

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cobalt drum shes much smaller than me

Get two the size you need then wear one and give the other to her. Then swap

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Ezy

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:55 AM

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My hoodies would be a crop top on boden-

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:55 AM

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gwah ill just watch her steal them all

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permanently borrowed

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:55 AM

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quiet night My hoodies would be a crop top on boden-

i would feel like a total bad bitch zesty z snap

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yes

#

im way to big

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:55 AM

#

😭😂

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:56 AM

#

quiet night 😭😂

dw twin

#

ill watch you snatch them all up

bright yarrow Nov 5, 2025, 2:57 AM

#

Yo

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:57 AM

#

cobalt drum ill watch you snatch them all up

I'll be anatato in them

bright yarrow Nov 5, 2025, 2:57 AM

#

Whats with couples and stealing hoodies?

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:57 AM

#

bright yarrow Whats with couples and stealing hoodies?

It's the best thing to do. Idk why tho

bright yarrow Nov 5, 2025, 2:58 AM

#

viscid mulch It's the best thing to do. Idk why tho

Too bad I wear the zipper ones

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:58 AM

#

bright yarrow Whats with couples and stealing hoodies?

okay so i think to women their bf hoodie is like a big hug and reminder of their bf, smells like them, warm, big

bright yarrow Nov 5, 2025, 2:58 AM

#

cobalt drum okay so i think to women their bf hoodie is like a big hug and reminder of their...

Actually

#

That makes sense

#

But sadlu

#

Nor do I have a gf

#

Nor do I have any hoodies

#

Only them zipper ones

#

And jackets

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:58 AM

#

quiet night I'll be anatato in them

anatato

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

bright yarrow Only them zipper ones

We use those as blankets

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

i should put that as your nickname

#

ana potato

quiet night Nov 5, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

I do like potatoes

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

quiet night We use those as blankets

Fr

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

quiet night I do like potatoes

same twin

viscid mulch Nov 5, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

cobalt drum okay so i think to women their bf hoodie is like a big hug and reminder of their...

Well spoken!

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 3:02 AM

#

https://tenor.com/view/dunk-gif-21755298

Tenor

#

one day imma teach ana to dunk (i might have to lift her on my shoulders but idc because im a strong dude)

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 3:34 AM

#

im actually attractive asl

#

and its all for ana

#

🤭

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 10:14 PM

#

@quiet night you are very pretty, 100904048/10

#

takemylove Blushy

#

#

might buy this stuff

#

or some of it

cobalt drum Nov 5, 2025, 11:40 PM

#

im fine

#

like

#

i look good

bright yarrow Nov 6, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

quiet night We use those as blankets

Crazy

#

And my fucking bed time mode turned on and my screen is gray scalef

bright yarrow Nov 6, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

cobalt drum

Yo those are clean

cobalt drum Nov 6, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

i hate myself for existing

cobalt drum Nov 6, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

bright yarrow Yo those are clean

oh shit yeah

bright yarrow Nov 6, 2025, 3:03 AM

#

cobalt drum i hate myself for existing

Not a valid reason for hating urselt

#

Cus you see

#

Technically none of us asked to be born

#

But we're lucky we won the sperm race

#

Ever feel down

#

Remember ur one in a 5.3 million

cobalt drum Nov 6, 2025, 10:22 PM

#

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 12:42 AM

#

thinkin abt drinking a lil bit tn

#

probably shouldnt

#

i just miss ana

bright yarrow Nov 7, 2025, 12:43 AM

#

cobalt drum i just miss ana

dw she'll come back soon

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 12:44 AM

#

bright yarrow dw she'll come back soon

yeah i hope

#

i just miss her a lot

#

timezones fucking suck

bright yarrow Nov 7, 2025, 12:45 AM

#

cobalt drum timezones fucking suck

they truly do

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 1:03 AM

#

bright yarrow dw she'll come back soon

shes not back yet Cri

#

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 1:51 AM

#

still not back

#

🙁

brisk marten Nov 7, 2025, 1:53 AM

#

@cobalt drum Boden

#

Dms

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 1:53 AM

#

yo

#

sure

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 2:12 AM

#

i miss her sm

#

i hope she is okay

#

she hasnt texted me all day…

#

:/

#

not a single text 🙁

#

maybe she is busy or sum

#

but like

#

24 hours without a single text

#

🙁

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 2:29 AM

#

https://open.spotify.com/track/1SLIWdC97tTKZu5wtXg88I?si=zjYv9ZDyT-SKY6MhHpvRYQ&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A0jWEotRU18MkGGjSzJMnBZ

Spotify

I Hate Myself

#

:/

#

idk if imma be alright tn ngl

#

i can already feel myself falling into a super depressive state

#

i cant even say idgaf anymore

#

like

#

because i truly do give a fuck

#

i give many fucks

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 3:10 AM

#

crazy work my mods too bc there is a legitimate pedophile here and they had proof but nah ig im just faking it?

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 4:07 AM

#

thanks to a truly lonely sad miserable sorry excuse of a human

#

my gf logged off

#

and bc of timezones i wont be able to talk to her for another 22 hours

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 4:31 AM

#

not gonna be able to talk to ana until probably sunday night

#

djicncifjfifmfifjfislosldkfifnfidneidmsoamdufjdocksksidndjcjdmsidkcixnshusncuckdmajxucndosicjsuuddjidjdixndbsydhdnsjdnsndi

#

wanna rip my face off bro

#

so pissed

#

so angry at the world

#

so angry at everything and everyone

#

im full of fucking anger

#

and i fucking hate it

#

i hate feeling this way

#

because when im depressed im still able to be a good dude and treat people well

#

but when im just angry i just fuckingdbdjfnfkfmgj

#

i get pissed off and wanna shout and everyone

#

now im not angry anymore

#

im just in a really depressive state again :/

#

help she unadded me…

#

i cant talk to her anymore

#

i have no form of communication with her

#

the only person who brought actual color to my life is now gone…

#

idk if im going to make it throigh the night

cobalt drum Nov 7, 2025, 5:28 AM

#

i think im going to leave this server

#

im only seeing it get worse and worse

#

filling with more and more genuine assholes

#

its sad

#

i truly wish the best to the good people here

#

like @lethal compass @errant hearth @wet basalt @bright yarrow

#

y’all are the only good dudes

#

genuinely

#

but uhm

#

i dont want to be part of this place anymore

#

its sad

#

but

#

its making me feel worse

#

and i think this step is best for me

#

and my mental health

#

rest of y’all are assholes tho

#

dont like most y’all

#

anyways if you want my dms are open as always

#

spread love

#

goodbye

errant hearth Nov 7, 2025, 5:33 AM

#

chu_hug

lethal compass Nov 7, 2025, 5:33 AM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

wet basalt Nov 7, 2025, 5:33 AM

#

huggies

bright yarrow Nov 7, 2025, 5:40 PM

#

..

#

damn

#

https://tenor.com/view/dog-crying-meme-doggo-crys-megan-soo-crying-dog-gif-5276199764143986284

Tenor

cobalt drum Nov 8, 2025, 3:10 AM

#

cobalt drum

poll_question_text

should i leave? i dislike the people here and feel like its just full of assholes

victor_answer_votes

3

total_votes

6

brisk marten Nov 8, 2025, 11:50 AM

#

wow he's speaking from the grave

elfin rivet Nov 9, 2025, 11:14 PM

#

mauve left too??

signal jungle Nov 9, 2025, 11:15 PM

#

elfin rivet mauve left too??

yea sadly, hope he comes back

elfin rivet Nov 9, 2025, 11:15 PM

#

damn

fading plaza Nov 16, 2025, 10:08 PM

#

Hi

quasi granite Nov 17, 2025, 12:07 AM

#

damn i kinda miss him

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 12:32 AM

#

im back seems

#

heard this place is nicer now

#

i may be less active than i used to be

#

but im here now

#

deadass got here and immediately saw someone i hate immediately

#

genuine hate bro

#

i feel like that one dude from fallout

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 1:52 AM

#

cobalt drum i feel like that one dude from fallout

Fallout mentioned?

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 1:52 AM

#

cobalt drum genuine hate bro

How have you've been

#

And it's good to see you're back

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 2:58 AM

#

merry star Fallout mentioned?

yes yes

#

hes like

#

a computer

#

but like

#

from the original fallouts

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

merry star And it's good to see you're back

ana convinced me ☺️

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

merry star How have you've been

alright i suppose

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 2:59 AM

#

cobalt drum alright i suppose

That's good to know

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

cobalt drum from the original fallouts

You mean 1 and 2?

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:00 AM

#

merry star You mean 1 and 2?

yeah like them top down-ish ones

#

i think hes naer Avon?

#

starts with A

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 3:01 AM

#

cobalt drum yeah like them top down-ish ones

Oh, you played them?

#

Never met anyone who actually played them lol

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:01 AM

#

merry star Oh, you played them?

nooo ive only played 3, 4, And NV

#

but ive seen em

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 3:02 AM

#

cobalt drum nooo ive only played 3, 4, And NV

Which one is youe favorite?

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:02 AM

#

merry star Which one is youe favorite?

i loved NV and 3

#

4 is overrated

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 3:02 AM

#

When did you play them?

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:02 AM

#

last year just about

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 3:03 AM

#

Oh, cool

#

Well

#

It's good to see you back

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:03 AM

#

thanks man

#

i might not be as active here as i used to be

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 3:04 AM

#

cobalt drum i might not be as active here as i used to be

May I ask you something on DMs?

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:04 AM

#

oh yeah sure

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 3:10 AM

#

cobalt drum like <@864240810304471040> <@744897081130614925> <@1178474164227670118> <@903408...

gonna clear some stuff up abt tgis

#

heard some of y’all felt left out

#

and yeah i may have forgotten a few

#

not personal

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 4:04 AM

#

i was scrolling through my old pictures and found some pics of when i was blackout drunk

#

didnt really like the feeling i got looking at those but WE BALL

#

i wanna get paper but im scared of what might happen when i do end up getting paper

#

like paper as in money

#

i dont wanna be a bum

#

i got plans bro

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 4:27 AM

#

is it bad that i feel drunk rn whrn i havent drank at all???

#

like i feel buzzed asl

merry star Dec 29, 2025, 4:39 AM

#

cobalt drum is it bad that i feel drunk rn whrn i havent drank at all???

Mm, I don't know

#

I've never drink alcohol

#

But I assume it can't be good

cobalt drum Dec 29, 2025, 4:40 AM

#

i read that its a symptom of withdrawals

#

like how if you smoke weed a lot you might feel a light high when you havent smoked

cobalt drum Dec 30, 2025, 2:15 AM

#

#

taco bell

#

i had baja blast too

#

shit was pretty good

cobalt drum Dec 30, 2025, 3:06 AM

#

people who hate on the opposite gender are literally Neanderthals bro 😭

#

like grow tf up

#

we are a team as humanity

#

we literally need eachother to survive

#

why hate on others fr

bright yarrow Dec 30, 2025, 6:52 PM

#

cobalt drum taco bell

taco bell fire

cobalt drum Dec 31, 2025, 8:20 PM

#

whatever you do

#

DO NOT

#

take melatonin at midnight

#

i took two of them johns and now its 2:21 PM

bright yarrow Dec 31, 2025, 8:29 PM

#

cobalt drum take melatonin at midnight

whats that?

cobalt drum Dec 31, 2025, 8:30 PM

#

meletonin is the chemical in your brain that makes you sleep

#

they make melatonin gummies

bright yarrow Dec 31, 2025, 8:30 PM

#

isnt the stuff that makes you skin light or dark?

cobalt drum Dec 31, 2025, 8:30 PM

#

i took two and woke up at 2 pm dawg

cobalt drum Dec 31, 2025, 8:30 PM

#

bright yarrow isnt the stuff that makes you skin light or dark?

that melanin

bright yarrow Dec 31, 2025, 8:30 PM

#

cobalt drum i took two and woke up at 2 pm dawg

lowkey... i dont need them gummies to do that

#

i love sleep

#

then agin i do drink alot of caffeine so i might be crashing

bright yarrow Dec 31, 2025, 8:31 PM

#

cobalt drum that melanin

ohh

#

ic now

cobalt drum Dec 31, 2025, 8:31 PM

#

bright yarrow i love sleep

dont get me wrong i love sleep too but… fuckin 2 pm is crazy

#

my sleep schedule bouta be fuckrd

bright yarrow Dec 31, 2025, 8:31 PM

#

cobalt drum dont get me wrong i love sleep too but… fuckin 2 pm is crazy

ik dude

#

sigh

#

back to french studying i go

#

cya boden

cobalt drum Dec 31, 2025, 8:32 PM

#

see ya dude

#

good luck

bright yarrow Dec 31, 2025, 8:41 PM

#

cobalt drum good luck

aight im back

#

taking a break for now

cobalt drum Jan 1, 2026, 7:01 AM

#

i dont know what i did:(

#

well

#

1 am

#

day one of 2026

#

shit we all alone

#

midwest emo gotta so underrated

#

another reason why the midwest is goated

#

https://open.spotify.com/track/19aUuDd6udp1ACNo9t3IuZ?si=WO-0jzDARYyLOTI8fcZnbg

Spotify

Death Cup

#

“well tell me how the fuck im sposed to deal with losing you” 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥

#

ahh fuck man

#

ill probably just eat some candy or sum

#

should help my cravings for fucking alcohol

errant hearth Jan 1, 2026, 7:08 AM

#

You can do this Bo<33/p

cobalt drum Jan 1, 2026, 7:08 AM

#

thank you man

#

merry 2027

#

26*

#

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1lQOLh1acRDakqzCd4CqDt?si=veQZPVlgRQKHeU9tUwXtzw&t=95

Spotify

This One Here

#

peak war

cobalt drum Jan 1, 2026, 7:39 AM

#

https://open.spotify.com/album/2Ek1q2haOnxVqhvVKqMvJe?si=Ei-nLnJ_SGqJ_IVBX0YduQ

Spotify

ye

#

fuckin hell man

#

im all alone

#

omfg the urge to fucking ||cut my arms vertically|| is so fucking strong

#

TW SELF HARM AND ADDICTION

#

||like god fuck… i wanna just lay in my bed with four 8 inch vertical cuts on each of my under-arms and just bleed out in my bed. earbuds in… music blasting. that sounds genuinely fucking amazing atm.||

#

||i havent cut myself in a long fuckin time… not sure if tonight will be the night i come crashing down again||

#

|| oh the ecstasy of downing 12 shots and getting blackout drunk… fuckckcckckckckkcckkckckc mannnnnnn||

#

||mmmhmmghmhm i wish i wish i had alcohol with me atm||

#

||something to really cleanse my fucking brain. i wouldnt be debating suicide if i was drunk right now would i hMM hmmmm hmmmm hmmm||

#

||i have no alcohol in the house i am in rn, so no need to worry i aint relapsing tn||

#

||i wonder what it feels like to be poisoned||

#

||would three shots get me buzzed anymore?||

#

prolly not

#

fuck im all alone man

#

||i could buy a cart in fucking 4 days and nights like this wouldnt exist anymore||

#

||but then i would turn into the stoner loser i used to be||

#

||god damn i really am a fuck up aint i lol||

#

||unlovable bastard||

#

||i just. fuck man. i dont know anymore||

#

||i really always have been a fuck up kid i suppose||

#

||getting into fights, lying, stealing||

#

||started doing drugs… really really young man||

#

got into them at like

#

10-11 years old

#

the memory is super foggy

#

but i remember

#

||stumbling around town and a marsh with my friend high as hell. the day i got intoduced to weed||

#

yippy…

#

||only got worse from there lmfao one night we downed a collective of 5 bottles of cough syrup from the local gas station and his medicine drawer||

#

||stumbled around at early morning 2-4 am in the freezing cold…||

#

fuckin hell what am i on about

#

i needa wrap ts up

#

fuckin hell.

#

sorry for all of this shitshow.

#

im just

#

im so tired

#

of it all

cobalt drum Jan 2, 2026, 12:27 AM

#

aghhhj fuckin hell

#

im tired as shit

thorny dagger Jan 2, 2026, 2:43 AM

#

welcome back the number one lebron james glazer cooldoggo

cobalt drum Jan 2, 2026, 4:25 AM

#

thorny dagger welcome back the number one lebron james glazer <:cooldoggo:992847581740802110>

hell yea toranto man

#

https://tenor.com/view/drake-dancing-supasta21-we-be-vibin-gif-6343182575748222884

Tenor

#

wait

#

not toronto

#

my bad bro

#

just canada man

cobalt drum Jan 3, 2026, 4:46 AM

#

unfortunately

#

if i was an adult

#

right now i would be half asleep with tequila bottles surrounding me in the bathroom with music blasting

#

because fuckin hell im in pain

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 4:11 AM

#

another night of senseless screaming and fighting in the Boden household (dads house tonight!!!)

#

genuinely might end up drinking myself to sleep

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 4:15 AM

#

im sorry you're going through a lot. my parents used to fight a lot too so i know how it feels to be in an unstable household

#

also sorry i unfriend you again. i thought you burnt the bridge when you left. I'm glad you're back

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 4:28 AM

#

thorny dagger im sorry you're going through a lot. my parents used to fight a lot too so i kno...

not even my parents bro. first it was my brother just bein a bitch then he started throwing shit, i thought we moved past yelling and fighting after the divorce lol??? guess households just got even more unstable lmfao.

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 4:28 AM

#

thorny dagger also sorry i unfriend you again. i thought you burnt the bridge when you left. I...

you are good bro dw

#

played a lot of the outlast trials today tho

#

that was pretty fun

#

but i genuinely think i might end up drinking tn

#

ill try and stop myself tho

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 4:31 AM

#

ive been playing my backlog of games for the past year lastly. i just finished star wars the fallen order. i played star wars jedi survivor first lol. im playing god of war ragnarok rn

#

im also thinking of buying all the consoles and games i had from my childhood. idk why i sold my wii/gamecube and my collection

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 4:33 AM

#

yoo i remember playing Wii sports in my friends basement with them

#

or uhm

#

wii island

#

wii uhhh

#

wii resort?

#

wii sports island?

#

i dont remember the name

#

but you could fly the planes

#

i was good at that one

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 4:35 AM

#

cobalt drum not even my parents bro. first it was my brother just bein a bitch then he start...

maybe your bro needs more time to adjust. its never good to yell and fight at home

#

wii sport resort!

#

mannnn

#

i need to rebuild my wii and gamecube collection again

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 4:37 AM

#

thorny dagger maybe your bro needs more time to adjust. its never good to yell and fight at ho...

genuinely not me in it tho lol. he throwing shit making my dad pissed off at both of us for some reason and i gotta sweep and clean the walls while they yell

#

then i get dragged back into it

#

gah fuck

#

my chest is soso heavy

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 4:42 AM

#

im sorry you gotta deal with that

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 4:49 AM

#

feels like ive been on my own more recently

#

im building this shit up myself

#

picking myself up

#

i feel

#

well i dunno

#

way more

#

alone

#

recently

#

#

#

you love me when i aint sober

#

you love me when im hungover

#

🗣️🔥

#

genuinely fucking bars

#

straight poetry throughout that whole song

#

Ye hate has always and forever will be extremely forced

#

defending him whenever i can

#

also we are aperently getting bully with no ai this 30th

#

as dmed by a close helper and colleague of Ye

#

The Yeezy.Bully website is back up woth many different vinyl options, CD’s and Cassettes

#

full bully tracklist is confirmed

#

or about as close as we can get to being confirmed at the moment

#

Yeezy has added a shit ton of new cool clothes and shoes

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:04 AM

#

i used to listen to kanye west a lot as a kid

#

first song i listened from him was stronger

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:06 AM

#

thorny dagger first song i listened from him was stronger

is a very popular song of his

#

from the most streamed rap album of 2025 btw

#

graduation was the most streamed rap album of 2025

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:06 AM

#

kind of reminds me of this one song by daft punk

#

https://youtu.be/gAjR4_CbPpQ?si=pUyFgIeFGpZRZ5eZ

YouTube

Daft Punk

Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Official Video)

Listen, order & watch now: https://bio.to/daftpunk
Official Music Video for “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger”, taken from “Discovery” available on all platforms: https://daftpunk.lnk.to/Discovery
Subscribe to the official Daft Punk YouTube channel: https://daftpunk.lnk.to/subscribeonY

Watch more videos of Daft Punk: https://daftpunk.l...

▶ Play video

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:07 AM

#

thorny dagger https://youtu.be/gAjR4_CbPpQ?si=pUyFgIeFGpZRZ5eZ

this was the sample he used for that song lol

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:07 AM

#

i knew it sounded familiar

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:19 AM

#

hehensjfjnfifjfjd

#

hjnejejdf

#

this cat bot needa sibau

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:20 AM

#

bleh

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:20 AM

#

i would be like

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:20 AM

#

👍 huddlekirby

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:20 AM

#

drunk as hell rn if i wasn’t afraid my dad would catch me

#

his liquor storage is in his view from his bedroom

#

😭💔

#

and i dont even know if dude sleeps half the time

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:21 AM

#

getting drunk is fun and all but i need to get home somehow nosleepchu

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:22 AM

#

yeah bro drive home THEN drink

#

dont get intoxicated then drive

#

big nono

#

ill test the waters in a little bit

#

ill go get some food then throw away some trash and see if the coast is clear

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:26 AM

#

best way to get undrunk is to drink a lot of water and eat a lot of bread

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:27 AM

#

thorny dagger best way to get undrunk is to drink a lot of water and eat a lot of bread

egg sandwich 🥹

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:28 AM

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i just eat plain white beard or a baguette 🤣

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:34 AM

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fuckin hell

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just tested the water

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and uhm

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imma give it another hour lmao

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my dad is a super light sleeper so im not sure if i trust that he see let alone hear me while i drink

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i feel super unsupported recently and i just feel so heavy

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ive tried battling all my shit all alone and that obviously didnt work

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also

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dad is still awake so

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another hour or sum

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also recently ive been having super vivid dreams of getting caught with vapes

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completely unrelated but i suppose its my journal soooo

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:51 AM

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I'm always here if you need to vent!

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I've been fighting myself lately too. i usually get super depressed around this time of the month

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:53 AM

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every minute is genuinely so fucking unbearable holy shit

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:54 AM

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thorny dagger I'm always here if you need to vent!

thanks man, i just genuinely dont know what to say

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:54 AM

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usaully starts around October but this year its starting at the end of december. i have seasonal depression

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:54 AM

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im just tryna keep myself talking rn so i dont do something much more stupid than just drinking a little liquor

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:55 AM

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thorny dagger usaully starts around October but this year its starting at the end of december....

ive heard thats really common with the lesser amount of sunlight

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:55 AM

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its okay! im doing the same thing but server is dead at this time 😭

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 5:55 AM

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thorny dagger its okay! im doing the same thing but server is dead at this time 😭

unfortunately seems so

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we got eachother twin

#

https://tenor.com/view/smiling-friends-psychicpebbles-pim-smiling-friends-pim-mr-boss-gif-1373626090718171797

Tenor

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:57 AM

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cobalt drum ive heard thats really common with the lesser amount of sunlight

yeah! in the summer i feel fine but when fall starts my depression comes back. usaully i get super moody around October. like i just know its coming back. cant really explain whats happening in my head. its weird

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 5:58 AM

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cobalt drum we got eachother twin

thanks bud

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:01 AM

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of course mate

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you ever listen to drake?

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i used to not like drake

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but then i realized that he makes some really good music

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:03 AM

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i used to listen to drake a lot as a kid too 🤣

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fav album was nothing was the same

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after the whole kendrick and drake beef, i kind of stop listening to him

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:05 AM

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thorny dagger fav album was nothing was the same

always a really good one

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:06 AM

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thorny dagger after the whole kendrick and drake beef, i kind of stop listening to him

i started listening to him after a beef unironically

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i got uhhh

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“if you’re reading this its to late” on vinyl

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i almost got take care

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thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:12 AM

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If You're Reading This It's Too Late was good album too

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i remembered i illegally downloaded If You're Reading This It's Too Late album on my pc. dragged it into itunes, and put it on my iphone 4s 🤣

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:19 AM

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lmfao

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there was little to no rollout for that album

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:33 AM

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i also illegally downloaded one of the weeknd album

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beauty behind the madness

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:34 AM

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god i love that album so much too

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almost bought that one on vinyl

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what do you know about future?

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the rapper

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the pecan whiskey is beckoning me closer

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and the tequila

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and the svedka

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and the gin

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and the lemoncelo

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:47 AM

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oh yeah i know future Joy

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:50 AM

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genuinely went upstairs and immediately heard my dad tossing and turning

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i dont think we will be drinking tonight

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idk how imma end up falling asleep tonight but we ball i suppose

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:51 AM

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cobalt drum genuinely went upstairs and immediately heard my dad tossing and turning

i hear him walking around rn 😭

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:53 AM

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does your dad sleepwalk?

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:54 AM

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thorny dagger does your dad sleepwalk?

fuck no

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:54 AM

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cobalt drum genuinely went upstairs and immediately heard my dad tossing and turning

and doing those dad groans

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so he’s obviously awake

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:54 AM

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im currently on ebay looking at old consoles/games i used own

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 6:54 AM

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great way to spend the night Joy Joy

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 6:55 AM

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Joy

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i reliving my childhood nosleepchu

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 7:11 AM

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1:11 AM

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why am i like this

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why are they doing this to me

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its like im invisible

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god damn that shit

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fuck all that shit

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they gonna act like im invisible huh???

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seems i dont matter to them that much

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fuckin hell man

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why are they doing this to me

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like fuck man

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 7:14 AM

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its 2:11am for me

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i feel a bit drowsy ngl

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 7:15 AM

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if they aint want me around they just gotta say so dawg

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shit is just

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mad hurtful

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 7:15 AM

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thorny dagger i feel a bit drowsy ngl

hey man maybe try and get some sleep

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 7:15 AM

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sadness

cobalt drum Jan 4, 2026, 7:29 AM

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feelin a little drowsy myself

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im in fucking agony tho holy shit

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like

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god damn

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just sttaight hurtful

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never treated any of them with nothing but love and respect

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im fucking done man

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peace.

thorny dagger Jan 4, 2026, 7:46 AM

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night boden

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 12:43 AM

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cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 12:44 AM

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cobalt drum

damn i look pale asl in that second pic

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 12:44 AM

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huddlekittywave

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 12:44 AM

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yoooo

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whats up

#

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god i wanna get tattoos so bad 💔

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i genuinely have some good ideas

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https://open.spotify.com/track/44lUcHz7LXhvdlwLy8WsBg?si=-PjPDGAQT7a-cOlqrEy59g

Spotify

How It Was (feat. Future)

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this is genuinely so peak

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late night gta V memories right here dawg 🥹✌🏼

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https://tenor.com/view/no-gif-23548728

Tenor

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 1:04 AM

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oohhhh maann

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i remembered i used to play left 4 dead 2 and gta 5 online on the 360 with my xbox friends back in the day

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i wonder where they are now

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 1:21 AM

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today i went out and watched a movie

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i almost decided to stay home and drink

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god damn

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my fuckin

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chest holy shit

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i wanna cry so badly

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 1:53 AM

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cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 2:27 AM

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genuinely i have no clue what is worse

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getting blackout drunk and having a hangover tomorrow?

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or sitting here all night with just my thoughts

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dawg its lose lose

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 2:44 AM

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i dont think having a hangover on a sunday night is a good idea

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 2:45 AM

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yeah i got school tomorrow

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 2:46 AM

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Friday and Saturday tho perfect

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 2:47 AM

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mhm

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im so mentally drained

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 2:49 AM

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same especially at night

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 2:51 AM

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god my chest

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fuck bro

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im so scared

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im genuinely so alone

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im like

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fuck

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bro

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it hurts so bad

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make it stop

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 2:52 AM

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wait is anna with you when you're alone?

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 2:52 AM

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thorny dagger wait is anna with you when you're alone?

not recently no

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i feel like i just make her angry and tired

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i havent heard from her in a day or two now

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 2:53 AM

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sadness

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 2:53 AM

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exactly bro

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i feel so alone

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like

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genuinely abandoned yk what i mean?

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that may not be the case but like

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just

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that feeling

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yk?

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 3:01 AM

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i remembered back in 2023 i met a girl on discord, found out she lived in my area too. she just wanted to be friends tho. i joined this server because i had no one to talk too and was feeling depressed and lonely. met another girl in this server who was just tryna scam me. the first girl we stopped talking after like three months. i gave up. felt one sided. the second one instant block after i confronted her

#

2024-2025 was bad. kept fighting with my sister, got laid off for seven months. they called me back tho 👍. 2026 starting okay

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:05 AM

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thats nice

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 3:06 AM

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kind of scared about the future tho nosleepchu

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:09 AM

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aint we all man

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aint we all

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 3:10 AM

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kind of wish i can go back in time and relive my childhood again tbh

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i remember pokemania was huge back then

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i remember going to toys r us to get toys with my dad and i would hang out with the neighbourhood kids till dark on our bikes

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also my parents are getting old, theyre almost in their 70s and im afraid they wont be with me for long any time soon

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:16 AM

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thorny dagger i remember going to toys r us to get toys with my dad and i would hang out with ...

i remember i used to go biking around all day

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:17 AM

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thorny dagger kind of wish i can go back in time and relive my childhood again tbh

yeah man most do

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:17 AM

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thorny dagger also my parents are getting old, theyre almost in their 70s and im afraid they w...

thats not a craxy fear to have man

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if i had any advice to give it would be to spend a lot of time with them yk?

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 3:21 AM

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ive been spending time with my parents during the holidays this year

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took them out for lunch and dinner, went Christmas shopping etc

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:21 AM

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ahh man thats nice

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 3:21 AM

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Joy 👍

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 3:52 AM

#

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 4:02 AM

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that beat pretty lit

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 4:06 AM

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thorny dagger that beat pretty lit

which one

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 4:26 AM

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second videos 🤣

cobalt drum Jan 5, 2026, 5:32 AM

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thorny dagger second videos 🤣

LVL- A$AP Rocky

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fuck man

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https://open.spotify.com/album/2Ek1q2haOnxVqhvVKqMvJe?si=_xv9m6zEQYeW_fZSS-_fRw

Spotify

ye

thorny dagger Jan 5, 2026, 6:13 AM

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cobalt drum LVL- A$AP Rocky

👍

cobalt drum Jan 6, 2026, 4:26 AM

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today was so fucking shit

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genuinely the most extreme derealization ive ever felt

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like knocking back 4 or 5 shots

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but im completely sober

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the tunnel vision was terrible

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i can hardly remember anything from school or even anythibg from an hour ago

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and my head hurts

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and i just wanna be away from everyone and everything

cobalt drum Jan 7, 2026, 2:25 AM

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another day of extreme derealizing

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i also got my meds upped so

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yayyyyy

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 1:12 AM

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another job application sent in 😌

thorny dagger Jan 8, 2026, 1:32 AM

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Joy

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i hope you get the job!

merry star Jan 8, 2026, 1:43 AM

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cobalt drum another job application sent in 😌

May I ask what happened to your last job?

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Just curious

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 2:07 AM

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merry star May I ask what happened to your last job?

quit

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non flexible hours and j was being overworked and hnderpaid

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they said they would pay me more and never did

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 10:00 PM

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i just gave a like 6th grader a reality check

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he thinks hes a tough guy gangster

bright yarrow Jan 8, 2026, 10:02 PM

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cobalt drum he thinks hes a tough guy gangster

i wonder if i was like that back in the day..

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 10:03 PM

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im a little scared he might tell like someone and i might get in trouble

bright yarrow Jan 8, 2026, 10:03 PM

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nawr they dont do that

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 10:03 PM

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he was acting so tough and then said “fuck you” to me

bright yarrow Jan 8, 2026, 10:03 PM

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theyre more scared of "losing rep"

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or seeming like a "not tuff" person

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idk the right words for it

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 10:03 PM

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and i told him to say it again and then i grabbed his head and tolf him to not act toigh because people like that go to prison or die

bright yarrow Jan 8, 2026, 10:04 PM

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cobalt drum and i told him to say it again and then i grabbed his head and tolf him to not a...

lowkey, if a sixth grader tried punching me, i'd just stick my hand out and hold them back my the head lmao, but yeha that is true, most kids that try acting like gangsters do end up in jail or die

#

vaild crashout indeed

cobalt drum Jan 8, 2026, 10:06 PM

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he vapes too

#Boden’s Main Journal