#Boden’s Main Journal

1 messages · Page 5 of 1

cobalt drum
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God fucking damnit all

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Idek anything anymore

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I feel like im js a ticking time bomb

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For everyone around me

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And that im just gonna stress people out

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And make them worse

opal siren
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man fuck im so glad youre okay

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so glad

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i really hope it gets better for you

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you dont deserve the shit you go through

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me and logan are here

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for you

errant hearth
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Same man
I'm so fucking happy you're ok
We're here for you man. You don't deserve any of the problems. If anyone in this server causes issues for you dm me ok. I'll handle it

cobalt drum
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Thanks y’all

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Im just

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Idek anymore

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I used to be a happy kid bro

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Idek what happened

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Why cant i just be happy anymore

errant hearth
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You will be
I promise it'll get better
Things are bad rn but you'll get through it

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You're strong Bo you can do it

cobalt drum
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You didn't deserve to be bullied

cobalt drum
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1-2 business days my ass

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I ordered them sunday

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Still not here

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What lying dipshits

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If they dont arrive tonight then they will arrive tomorrow

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4 business days..!;8,’figmd

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Fncjfnf

cobalt drum
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I had a dream

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Emi was back

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And she hated me

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She called me terrible things

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Basically reaffirmed my suspicions

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That she js used me

wet basalt
# cobalt drum Emi was back

I believe I can offer some clarity here.

I hope I am not overstepping by reaching out, but I still have emi on my Snapchat and can provide screen shots if you like, along with that she has shared with me about you.

Emi has never spoken negatively about. On the contrary, she always spoken of you warmly and with a genuine affection. She truly cares for you, worried about you and often referred you with cute names. she expressed how much she adored you, how she valued the time you spent together and how excited she was about the idea of waiting for you and eventually dating you in real life. She had many plans, she was looking forward to sharing with you, and every expression of her love showed that it was heartfelt and sincere. She truly cherished your connection and cared for you deeply. ❤

I hope that helps

cobalt drum
wet basalt
cobalt drum
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This version is so peak

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@errant hearth

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Gn

cobalt drum
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Damn her

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Fuck her bro

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She used me

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She broke my fucking heart bro

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Fuck her to hell

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Im actually fucking angry

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I kinda wanna talk to someone but they are just gonna say “oh i dont think she used you”

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I wanna cut myself

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Someone noticed my scars on my wrists a few days ago and said out loud “dude are you cutting yourself?”

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And i just laughed and said no that i fell

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I wanna just pull my fucking hair out

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Im so fucking

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Angry

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Hurt

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Hurt

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Thats a better word

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I tried dming someone but they ignored it i think

jolly umbra
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“Hate is born from love that is lost.”

cobalt drum
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I suppose

jolly umbra
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Not always, but it can be

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I just thought that sounded.. cool? Deep? Idk the word I would use exactly

cobalt drum
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Mm

jolly umbra
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In any case I get how you feel

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You think you know people

cobalt drum
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Lmao

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Yeah

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I suppose you do

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Can i dm you rq?

jolly umbra
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Sure

cobalt drum
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If i had a gun…

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God i wouldnt hesitate

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Bullet to the brain would be easy

cobalt drum
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Ngl brooooo

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I wanna blow my brains out right fucking now

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Ndicncicnc

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Nbcjvjfkc

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Bfivjc

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Fucccckkk

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Nah imma js deal w wtv alone

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I dmed someone but they haven’t responded yet

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Im so doneeeeeee bro

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Imma turn off the phone and let whatever just hapoen

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It is what it is right?

jolly umbra
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I learned that my state doesn’t require a permit.. so it’s technically an option for me

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Honestly, they shouldn’t make it that easy to get a gun

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I’d rather my end not be so brutal otherwise I’d do it

opal siren
analog berry
cobalt drum
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Still

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Nothin

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At all

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Nshdbrjfj

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No packageee

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4 days

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5

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Maybe

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Sunday i ordered

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Maybe ittll come after a while

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Or it in delay

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Yk

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Just want it to arrive

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It should have arrived today :/

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Nevermind

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Apperently its 4-5 business days

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And it left the center at 12:34 am yesterday

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From portland

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It should be here any day lmao

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Ok

cobalt drum
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I love wisconsin

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Im so glad i live here now

cobalt drum
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bdjdnfjcnskdifnf

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Fuckkkkkkkkfkvkgjg

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I wanna throw uppp

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I wanna just

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Crawl in a hole and die

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Tnjfnffjf

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I dont want this to be ruined

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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IM BETTER

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YAYAYA

cobalt drum
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Kaz makes me so frickin happy bto

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Ive reached peak

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Im

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So

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Fucking happy rn

merry star
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May I ask what makes you so happy?

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
merry star
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In DMs at least

cobalt drum
merry star
cobalt drum
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Cant say

merry star
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Bro

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Spit it out

cobalt drum
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Heheheh

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I hope your doing good

cobalt drum
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Currently having fun talking to someone on snap rnnnn

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Y’all can never guess muahaha

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They are also in the server 🙊🙊🙊

cobalt drum
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Tonight was great

viscid mulch
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Glad your happy!

brisk marten
cobalt drum
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Bro whenever i see someone here typing i immediately get pissed off bro

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They are so annoying 😭😭😭

cobalt drum
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Chat

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Is it bad that im actually thinking of starting to sell some oxycodone

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Tmi?

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Prolly tmi

merry star
merry star
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Who would you sell it to

cobalt drum
brisk marten
cobalt drum
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Not like

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Here as in my journal

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I mean here as in huddle

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Fuckkkk my shoulder hurts so bad

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Fuckkk

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Fuck

cobalt drum
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Now she asleeppp

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I love herr

cobalt drum
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Dudeeee

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Insane rapper lineup for a struggle rap album

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Westside gunn, Freddie Gibbs, Conway The Machine. Executively produced by the alchemist

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@errant hearth

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Is ts gas?

cobalt drum
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Welp i js read sum in main chat

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Fml

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Ig y’all dont fw me

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God damnit

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God now i just feel so shit

analog berry
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Wait what? Was it smth I said 😭

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Cause I know I be stirring shit up a lot 😭

cobalt drum
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Why the sobbing emoji

analog berry
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Idk I use it so much it’s lost meaning to me 💀

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So it’s in almost every message I send now

cobalt drum
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Ah.

analog berry
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Almost put it in that one too ngl

cobalt drum
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Hm.

analog berry
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But was it smth I said?

cobalt drum
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Coulda been

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Coulda been someone else

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Rather not say

analog berry
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About the did thing? Cause you don’t fall into that category to me 😭

cobalt drum
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Coulda been coulda not have been

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Again, rather not say

analog berry
#

Bro I know it was just don’t worry bc it’s not people like you it’s people who are constantly “switching” and have fully made up worlds with such clear cut edges and they always know who they are and all that bullshit

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That’s not how it fucking works and it dilutes the severity and gravity of the actual disorder and the people who struggle with it or characteristics of it

cobalt drum
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Yeah… i js thought i pissed you off

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Cus i was confused n allat

analog berry
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I sent you a million messages sharing something very personal to me bro, I trust you and consider you close, it’s ok if you don’t feel the same bc I know I piss a lot of people off but I do care about you and I don’t offer my support and emotional energy to a lot of people but it’s always open to you

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Just so you know

cobalt drum
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Nah i see you close too

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I trust you too

analog berry
cobalt drum
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I aint want to like

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Make shit akward

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I aint never had no problem w you

analog berry
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Alr bro

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I just overthink ngl and I worry sometimes people don’t see the line between I’m joking with you as a friend vs I don’t like you and want to piss you off over text and all

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Sorry to project that insecurity on you

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Dw

analog berry
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Alr bro

cobalt drum
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Thats the problem w textibg

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Its hard to tell someones real emotion

analog berry
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Again none of that in main was referring to you AT ALL 😭

analog berry
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Sorry again

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I’ll quit bugging you now 😭

cobalt drum
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Aight

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Damn

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Now im getting ignored by ppl

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Uhhhuhhhdudhdhfhngg

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I dont feel good at all broknfjfigngigbfjfi

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Hdjfjf

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Dudiificjfv

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Ifigi

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Ughhhhhhhhh

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I wish she was awake

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She would be able to make me smile and forget all of this

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Wtf

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Y’all kinda suck ngl

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Like

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Jesus

merry star
cobalt drum
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Nah yk what

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All y’all fuckers gonna js be bitches to me while y’all broke

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Im making money

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Y’all sit on discord all day

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Pathetic

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Imma go treat myself tonight

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Imma go buy dinner out

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Maybe

viscid mulch
viscid mulch
cobalt drum
#

I see you being a good dude

cobalt drum
#

This song is truly depressing

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Ref i want out

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Ref sub me out please

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Ref

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Do something

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Uh oh.

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Ref i wanna do something bad

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Ref

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Ref why did you give me oxy

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Ref

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I wanna take it

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I wanna nom

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Ref

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Im sorry ref

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

Tbh it was nice to catch up with laz

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Shes pretty cool

cobalt drum
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My day was splendid

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Before i almost was out of school

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I said fuck out loud in the hall and a teacher was like

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“Was that you a minute ago?”

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I said yeah

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He started yelling at me

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I said my bad sir i will fix it

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And he just kept yelling

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Fml bro

cobalt drum
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Tryna figure out how to download songs onto my phone

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The files

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So i can upload the files onto spotify and listen to it there

cobalt drum
#

@tired kettle

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Hey i got a question for you

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Can i dm?

tired kettle
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Yes

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
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i saw a cute girl at barnes and noble today

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she had a very cool outfit on

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she was looking at k-pop stuff

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i saw her lookin at me too

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then she scurried away

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she had like

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designer jeans on

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im starting to spiral again tn

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nooooo

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cus its bad bro

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drug dealers and god’s favorite

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welp

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i probably needed someone to hug my like i was their son but i decided to cope with kanye west and drugs instead

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why does it have to be this way

cobalt drum
# cobalt drum

btw if you remember what i said abt this album ur goated

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tonight im doing everyone a favor

jolly umbra
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Screw others, do what you want

cobalt drum
#

we might be cooked chat

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welp

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album over

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yk what that means

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peace

viscid mulch
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You there bother?

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Just wanna make sure your alright

errant hearth
#

I hope you're alright man

lethal compass
#

We’re all still here frenhuddleshibaheartalways

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hope things can get easier for u, even if it’s little by little <3/p
hug

merry star
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You are notnalone man

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There's people who want to help you

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Remember that

cobalt drum
#

overwelmed.

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and im back in the state i was last night.

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tonight i will try and stay strong.

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i feel so alone even when people tell me they are there.

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idk whats wrong w me.

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yandhi got me.

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god i feel like throwing up

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so heavy

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head spinning man

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God favors the drug dealers.

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i dont think people like me.

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i wanna cry

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i need someone to hug me like i am their son

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today i told my hb the exact same thing and he dropped everything and gave a hug

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his name is will

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i just said “that was soul healing”

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it helped a little ig

cobalt drum
#

i tried being helpful

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i really did

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but y’all are gonna be dicks

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y’all dont deserve a fucking warning anymore

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kinda funny how mfs gonna let ppl put someone down and do nothing abt it in a MENTAL HEALTH server

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but we ball ig?

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wanna say a lotta things

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lotta things that would get me fucking banned

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lmao

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i wonder how they would feel if they woke up to find out they are the reason im dead LMFAOOO

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oh to see the look on their face

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it would be unfair

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it would be selfish

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but

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i really

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really

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really

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need to

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my eyes burn

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bhbhhhjjjjbj

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hbb

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hhhhjnkkolknnbvgyhjjn

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nah

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y’all dont deserve to know

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nah

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honestly

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if you end up calling me selfish

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fuck you

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cus i was keeping others from killing themselves while i wanted to do it more than anything

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god abandoned me long ago

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its wraps bro

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i brifhfjfk

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i

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fuck

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godamn it bro

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fuckkkfkckfjfj

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its wraps

#

its warsp

jolly umbra
#

I find it hard to even grasp the concept of god at this point

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Which is hilarious considering the person I used to be

cobalt drum
#

it’s wrapped up

jolly umbra
#

But such is life. Anyone can be broken

cobalt drum
#

ggs bro

#

its wraps

jolly umbra
#

Try not to be rash. I’d really hate for you to fail and make things worse for yourself

cobalt drum
#

like it aint already happened

jolly umbra
#

Well living in a disfigured body or something still wouldn’t be pleasant

cobalt drum
#

ive had to go to school after oding on the bathroom floor at 4 am

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so

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pretty used to it atp

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god

jolly umbra
#

I see

cobalt drum
#

fuckkckkckckc

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anyways

#

times up

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album finished

#

peace

errant hearth
# cobalt drum peace

Anyone who reads this
He's ok
I talked to him. I won't share anything we said for privacy reasons but know that he is ok

cobalt drum
#

i needa beer bro

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that shit tastes so good

#

chat

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imma post some pics of me in my prime

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before the surgery

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i was so locked in bro

#

gym

#

5 days a week

#

bajdncjcnc

#

all my progressssss

cobalt drum
#

awoke at 4 am today

cobalt drum
#

new pfp

IMG_4557.jpg
#

i got long ass arms bro

#

i aint complaining tho lol

#

some yeezus pfps if y’all want it

cobalt drum
#

my head is spinning

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i just looked at twitter and i wanna throw up

#

omfg

#

What happened?

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

im so sleepy

cobalt drum
#

today has been so peak

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ana makes me so happy

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so glad i met her

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i still have the image of what j saw earlier tday fucking engraved in my eyeballs

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truly fucking terrible omg

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chat

#

tonight

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we are gonna try

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really

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really

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really

#

hard

#

not to go into a depressive state

quiet night
cobalt drum
#

ill make sure to reach out if it gets bad

cobalt drum
#

i used to pray for times like this

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i wanna throw up

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oml

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idek why i did it

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kdjfjfivjv

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fuckkk

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js go to sleep boden

#

you will forget abt it

cobalt drum
#

i need fucking nic

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i need nic

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or weed

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fuck

#

oml

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this is bad bro

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or i need alcohol

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whiskey

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vodka

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something dude

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oh man

#

shit

#

this is so bad

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go to bed boden

#

omg

cobalt drum
#

omg bro

#

nic sounds so good rn

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or weed

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weed would be fire

cobalt drum
#

gwah.

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im starting to get bad

#

kinda crazy how Kanye has 30 grammys on a hard drive somewhere

cobalt drum
#

rock yo body right

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Yeezys back alright!

#

gwah

#

call me when you need it late at night yk im slidinggg

#

vultures 2 hate will not be tolerated

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ts actually good

#

6/10

#

two or three skips in total

cobalt drum
#

sometimes

#

i think about that day

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when i was 10 or 11

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around that age

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the day i decided to take a hit of weed for the first time

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first time i was given a pipe

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and a lighter

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side note- my hair is super soft rn, y’all should touch it frfr

#

“ur such an angel”

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yeah i am lol 😭

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ur js lowk kinda scummy

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crazy how im trying to have a good time but i always feel the weight

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like

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god damn

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i have the biggest vent journal in huddle

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most reactions too

#

thats pretty cool ig

cobalt drum
#

man

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that talk took a lot outta me

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fuck bro

#

omg

#

that was actually triggering to talk to that guy abt it

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holy fuck

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we ball ig

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might as well enjoy the high

analog berry
#

Some people are just too dense to listen to reason

cobalt drum
#

it was the other dude

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and the subject matter

cobalt drum
#

SHES BACKKKK YEEAYSHHH

cobalt drum
#

gwahhhh

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i need nic bro

cobalt drum
#

my moms birthday was friday

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im gonna be heading over to her place in a bit

cobalt drum
#

god favors the drug dealers

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chat

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i cannot explain the love i have for ana

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she just

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she gives me hope

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hope that one day its gonna be alright

cobalt drum
#

at my moms

#

rn

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getting ready to wish her a happy birthday

cobalt drum
#

yawnnnnn

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gwah why do i feel like shit bro

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physically and mentally

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shes making me feel better 😌

#

oh no shes gone again

#

i hope she is sleeping well

#

been playing this for a about 15 minutes

IMG_4580.jpg
#

OHHH SHES BACK AYA

quiet night
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

oh man

#

i think its wraps bro

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i already finished the album

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hmmmmfjxinckbmhg

#

i gotta keep trying my hardest

cobalt drum
#

bro my nose is stuffy

quasi granite
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

i drew that during spanish

quasi granite
cobalt drum
tidal granite
wet basalt
# cobalt drum

The small doodles and the smallest ana ever is just adorable as fuck 😭✋

cobalt drum
#

uhhh guys

#

my shoulder is feeling

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AMAZING

#

i can laterally lift my arm until my bicep presses against my ear with minimal pain!!!

#

a full 180 degrees!!!!

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

gwahhhhh my shoulderrrr hurts a lil

cobalt drum
#

drake is the typa music you uhm

#

uhh

#

uhh

#

uh

#

to

#

yk

#

hehe

#

PARTYNEXTDOOR, Drake, Frank Ocean, and The Weeknd are like

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the goats of RnB

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or uhm

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as i call it

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something else

#

muahahaha

#

i

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i wish i could be the older brother my little brother deserves

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but he learned to hate me

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he deserved a better role model

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but who did he get

#

a lousy failure of a son, a brother, a human

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a depressed, addicted to dissociatives in DXM

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a loser

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a degenerate

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an addict

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someone who makes a lot of bad decisions and choices

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i ruined the better portion of my life

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just because i decided to take a hit of weed when i was like

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10 or 11

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it was my friends 12 birthday

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yeah i was 11 then

wicked carbon
#

No sibling ever gets along until they are older and they realize how much they need you.

cobalt drum
#

need it more than you need to be in here

#

get some sleep eh?

wicked carbon
cobalt drum
#

but you gotta sleep

#

sorry if i came off a little rude

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i aint mean it

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just

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tired ig

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welp im off to bed too

#

gn journal

cobalt drum
#

i failed

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as a brother

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i should have been a better role model

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i was supposed to be his hero

#

but i ruined the better half of my childhood and now he wants nothing to even do with me

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

nana fred 🤤🤤

IMG_4595.jpg
cobalt drum
#

the insatiable urge to smoke rn

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weed or nic

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or edibles

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🤤🤤🤤

cobalt drum
#

fuck y’all

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bro

#

you think addiction is all fun and games

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nah actually fuck you

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im so fucking done

#

peace bitches

#

only logan, john, ana, ramen. can dm. rest of y’all gotta ask.

#

addiction ruined the better part of my childhood and y’all out here saying “lemme get em all atp”

#

fuck

#

you

#

bitches

#

nah fuck it bro

#

Boden’s Main Journal

#

might as well be cheery for the last bits ig

cobalt drum
#

thats all she wrote

#

peace tho, some of y’all good ppl

merry star
cobalt drum
#

im just probably gonna stay in dms w my gf for now

analog berry
cobalt drum
#

gwah

#

ana is awesome

#

i love her so much

#

shes the reason im alive rn

quiet night
cobalt drum
#

Almost able to be fully out of the sling!!!! Shoulder and arm is looking great!!!

IMG_4656.jpg
cobalt drum
quasi granite
#

hi boden

cobalt drum
#

sorry if that was rude or anything

#

just a lil confused is all

cobalt drum
#

i worked really hard to get where i was before my injury

#

i was hitting the gym 5-6 days a week for two whole years

#

anyways

#

unfortunately one of my scars from surgery broke open

#

it doesnt hurt and didnt

#

but like lmao

#

||its literally a small bloody hole straight into my shoulder 😭||

brisk marten
#

shoulder injuries are the fucking worst

#

it feels so good to be able to move it normally again doesn't kt

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
brisk marten
#

praying for you my man

#

i relate hard because i have an unstable shoulder joint and my humeral head often pops out of its socket

cobalt drum
#

i made a art journal too if any of y’all are interested

#

im dyingggg broooo

#

this cold needa fuck off

wintry widget
#

@cobalt drum

#

i also have cold

#

its annoying

#

anyway I hope you be strong and don't lose hope during bad days 💪

cobalt drum
#

yuhh

#

you too

wintry widget
#

easy to say for me ofc

#

but be strong please

cobalt drum
#

mhm

#

so tired

cobalt drum
#

i actually cant

#

i cant bro

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people are to busy

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i cant

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i just gotta thug it out

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ill be fine

cobalt drum
#

we gonna thug it out

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i should go to my buds house and climb on his roof this weekend

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record some music

cobalt drum
#

im not rly a whiskey guy

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or a liquor guy

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i prefer a sweet wine

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or a beer

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i honestly love beer

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the taste is amazing

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

gf offline Cri Cri Cri Cri

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@quiet night when you get back what should i draw

cobalt drum
quiet night
cobalt drum
#

!!!!

quiet night
cobalt drum
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ACTUALLY ILL DRAW ONE RN

cobalt drum
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the original

IMG_4707.jpg
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

i started feeling rly sick at the end of the day

cobalt drum
#

i feel like my best feature is my shoulders

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they are broad

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or my upper chest

cobalt drum
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i used to pray for times like this

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and thanks to @quiet night it came true

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truly the love of my life

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(imma marry her one day)

quiet night
opal siren
#

Ah young love 👵

cobalt drum
#

i need a fucking massage dude

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lol

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

i feel like i need to cry

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i feel so shit man

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i just

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god damn

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i dont wanna talk to anyone man

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im so done man

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im so done

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i cant

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fucking do anything

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i cant

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ive tried

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im not the one

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im never the one

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never been

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never will be

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im so done

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im done

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im sorry

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im so overwhelmed

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i just want to cry

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but i cant

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i have to help others

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they are more important

viscid mulch
#

you got this man!🫂

cobalt drum
#

no man

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no i dont

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fuck it hurts so badly

#

everything

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i cant fucking do anything right dude

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i just wish i could hug her irl

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make her feel safe and loved

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im not the one

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im not good enough

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she deserves better

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i wanna cry so badly

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idk if im making it through the night.

viscid mulch
#

but shes chosen you right? Bro. none of us are perfect and we aren't all the men we want to be. But that why we are here! So we can grow!🫂

cobalt drum
#

everything i do is for her

cobalt drum
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i love her sm

viscid mulch
#

so your doing your best. don't beat yourself up for that.

cobalt drum
#

bro why am i like this

#

istg

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its everytime she leaves i immediately get so fuckin lonely

quiet night
cobalt drum
#

but you have to sometimes

quiet night
#

I'll leave for sleep and school but thats it

cobalt drum
#

that cannot be healthy tho

#

you gotta do other things in life

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like uhhh

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eat

#

drink

#

uhm

quiet night
#

I eat when talking to you

#

Same thing as drinking

cobalt drum
#

oh.?

#

i do the same but

#

i mean

#

like

#

man idk

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i just feel so off tonight

#

im sorry

quiet night
#

😅 listen I love you so much and I don't mind you being joint to my hip I'd love it

#

So, I promise🧡

cobalt drum
#

why am i like this

#

why do i gotta fuck up good shit man

cobalt drum
#

i talk to myself at night sometimes 🙁

#

hell ive probably had this conversation before

#

decided to pour up.

#

maybe it will help me sleep.

#

baby what you wishin forrr

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maybe uou should wish it mowre

#

alls rodgs led to rome

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wth am i doing bro

#

i a man

#

i cant be acting like this

#

one of my buds said in spanish class today “yo you alright? seem pretty sad today” and i said “yeah bro im in a really depressive state atm” then he said “oh shit why?” i said “bc ive had diagnosed depression for over two years now give or take” and then we just brushed it off like i wasnt just staring at nothing for 35 minutes after the teacher yelled at me for having a genuine smile on my face.

cobalt drum
#

i dont deserve nothing in life bro

#

i ruin it all

#

i get a good thing and fucking ruin it man

#

nah bro im a man wtf am i even on abt

#

just suck it tf up

#

thats how society wants me to act

#

so thats how im going to act

opal siren
#

Society is fucking stupid

#

Its an established fact

#

Most people are insensitive fucks
Genuinely ignore their asses cuz they have the EQ of a plastic chair

cobalt drum
#

crazy how it was engraved into my head that im a bad kid and am not worth anything so whenever someone says something nice to me i immediately think they are just lying to me

#

probably needed to be told i was loved more as a little kid but instead i started abusing opioids and found out how to get high for weeks off 20 bucks at a gas station

cobalt drum
#

what a slow day

#

i miss my gf

#

i think she is busy rn

cobalt drum
#

30 hours is top 5 kanye

#

i miss ana

#

i can’t wait to talk to her

#

i miss her a lot rn

#

i always feel so lonely without her

#

i just love her so much

#

a lot of ppl here are lowk not good dudes

#

thats all lol 🙂

cobalt drum
#

i miss ana

#

she is my world

#

i cant wait to talk to her later

cobalt drum
#

i miss ana

cobalt drum
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yo i just cried on my bathroom floor

#

not even a breakdown

#

i had to be quiet

cobalt drum
#

crying in the bathroom again

#

new record

#

cried twice in one day

#

oh shit it might be three

#

i feel tears coming again

cobalt drum
#

lowk cried multiple times today

#

but im not ashamed

#

honestly glad

#

i dont cry often

#

far and very few between

cobalt drum
#

i still remember the first time i ever saw crack

#

i was probably 5

#

and i was going to school

#

and i saw a dude hand another dude a bag of crack

#

i didnt know it was crack at the time

#

but as one grows and experiences

#

one knows what crack looks like

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

fahhhh 🗣️🔥

#

speaking russian to ur gf >>>>

#

hehe

#

🤭🤭🤭

#

she got me blushing hard rn

#

shes so sweet ☺️☺️

cobalt drum
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

being a golden retriever bf >>>>

wet basalt
cobalt drum
#

my so called “hb” just twisted my shoulder and now it hurts

cobalt drum
#

i love being a golden retriever bf cus wdym “your my handsome, tall, strong, beautiful boyfriend. mine ❤️”

#

like

#

ana warms my heart

#

ill do anything for her

quiet night
cobalt drum
quiet night
cobalt drum
cobalt drum
#

i just want my ana Cri Cri

#

shes the only one who calms me down

#

i miss her

#

i feel like i did something wrong

#

i just want my sweet ana

#

i want to be held by her and told everything is going to be okay…

cobalt drum
#

i can begin going back to work as a host

#

i let my boss know that i can come in when they need me

cobalt drum
#

i miss ana

#

i hope we are able to talk tonight

#

i miss her a lot

#

i hope she is okay

#

as long as she is okay ill be okay

#

i hope im not to clingy to her

#

what if i annoy her

#

what if i make her angry

errant hearth
cobalt drum
#

idk i cant help but overthink

errant hearth
#

Trust me I understand

#

You're good man

#

You're awesome

cobalt drum
#

i really dont want to

errant hearth
#

You won't. I promise that. You're awesome, you care and you obviously love her.

#

Plus you know I'm here if you ever need anything

#

I'm your boy. I'll always be around

cobalt drum
#

its a long shot

errant hearth
#

Fire away and I'll see what I can do

cobalt drum
#

dms

errant hearth
#

Kk

cobalt drum
#

i have no money is my school account

#

havent had money in it for a few weeks

#

so no food ig

#

cus im not tryna get into school debt

#

man i need to fucking cry

#

chat how do i make myself cry

#

i feel like i really need to deep down but my eyes wont

errant hearth
#

The way I've found that works for me is putting on a song that hits really hard to me and letting it play. Something emotional to you.

cobalt drum
#

i cried twice in one day on like sunday

#

and that was me hiding in the bathroom

#

because i thought my dumbass had fucked up everything

#

and i was extremely overstimulated

#

i had no chance to recharge my social battery

errant hearth
#

A good way to that also works for me is letting everything out with your partner. Maybe next time Ana is online it's something you could try. Sadly forcing yourself to cry is really different for everyone.

cobalt drum
#

so i cried once at 6:00 pm and another at 7:00

cobalt drum
#

ill maybe do that later tonight

errant hearth
#

That could help

cobalt drum
errant hearth
#

I get you. Calling when possible is the best way to do it

#

I'm not exactly ashamed to admit that I've cried my eyes out on call before

cobalt drum
errant hearth
#

That makes sense

analog berry
# cobalt drum i hope im not to clingy to her

When I had a boyfriend I was always wishing he would be more clingy emotionally, and give me attention or show any interest to have a conversation with me or ANYTHING. but he was just using me for my body to fill some void in his miserable life. You’re authentic man, I can tell and she can feel it too. Keep talking to her all the time, show her that attention, as long as you’re not being toxic (which you aren’t) it’s exactly what girls want

opal siren
cobalt drum
#

shes so beautiful she makes every other girl look completely unattractive to me

#

blocked

#

fuck you lmao

#

i told you i have a gf

#

ive told you in the past

#

but noooo

#

and you have the audacity to tell me “its got nothing to do with relationships”

#

CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥

cobalt drum
#

now im speaking spanish to her

#

oh yeah

#

white bot knows a little español

cobalt drum
#

jesus fucking christ

#

this server is lowk fucking pissing me off

#

im taking a break

#

fuck all y’all mfs

#

mfs dumb as shit

#

fuck all y’all

#

most you guys are shit human beings and ill say it to your fucking face idrc

#

idc if your opinion changes on me but imma speak my mind

#

imma stop pretending that everybody here is a good person bc thats not true

#

yeah some of my own friends here i look at like “damn they are lowk not good people”

#

and i havent talked to them in a while

cobalt drum
#

perfect gf core 🥹

IMG_4887.png
cobalt drum
#

saving someones ears

cobalt drum
#

i feel like an insecure bitch.

cobalt drum
#

pops reminds me every time he can that im only here because of a broken condom

#

i can sleep easy knowing someone is glad the condom broke

#

my ana

#

🥺

cobalt drum
#

i wanna cry

#

im still on call but i think ana is asleep

opal siren
#

Whoa mads way to be passive aggressive

cobalt drum
#

manipulator behavior

#

not even gonna cap

opal siren
#

To you wanting to cry

#

Which is a bit

#

Um

cobalt drum
#

oh yeah

opal siren
#

Not good

cobalt drum
#

lowk female manipulator starter pack

#

im gonne be deadass

opal siren
#

Nah don't say that man😭

#

She's being mean

#

But not manipulative iykwim

quasi granite
#

ok

#

i didn’t mean it in a bad way but y’all believe whatever you want

brisk marten
cobalt drum
#

not much things are better

IMG_4899.jpg
#

only thing that would make ts better is if i had ana w me

cobalt drum