#airhead's journal

1 messages · Page 7 of 1

valid axle
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procrastinated for an hour again

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i need to find more people with similar interests to me

valid axle
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died like 6 times trying to get good with this one weapon

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it kind of sucks though

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it requires a ridiculous amount of setup which you need so much knowledge to even have a clue of when you'll be able to setup without getting killed

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and it has no defense like dodging, countering or blocking attacks

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i wanna get good at the game i rlly do but none of the weapons truly click for me :(

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and i have 138 hrs

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death to EVERYTHING

dusk comet
valid axle
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wpeciailyl tah tahmster

valid axle
valid axle
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well thats interesting

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i slept at 2 and woke up at 8

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its nearly 9 now

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i did have a pretty bad dream ig

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like my town turned into a place where a lot of stabbing happens and i was trying to get around in one piece by taking the traina nd i saw my friends a lot

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and for some reason the biggest knife gang there were driving an ice cream truck

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i think its time i explore my playstyle and try a completely new weapon on monster hunter

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the main 4 i've used are switchblade (which is basically 2 weapons in one and sync with each other) greatsword, dualblades and hunting horn (personal fave but i said whats wrong with it)

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OOOHHHH

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THE LANCE

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I NEED TO TRY THE LANCE AGAIN

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I FOUND A COOLER ONE

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ITS CALLED GUNLANCE

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ITS LIKE A MIX OF THE LANCE AND A SHOTGUN

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ill try lance first

valid axle
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10 LOL

image.png
valid axle
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god i LOVE monster hunter

valid axle
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just killed this biggen

image.png
valid axle
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volume warning

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i love my jin dahaad

valid axle
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nothing to doo nothing to doo nothing to doo

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not a single thing to do

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nope nothing in the world

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died unfairly, changed games

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died 3 times in a row and then got my progress reset

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played another game

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got killed by someone who i was giving food to

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????

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fuck is wrong wit people

valid axle
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after some grinding i got everything i needed for the lance

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and its sooo fun

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i love it

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it solves all my problems (no defense and always missing moves)

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it's a long range with a shield

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ill play sum more when i get home from college

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gotta get going now

valid axle
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I met a guy from us both struggling to open a door

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cool guy

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mackenzie

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I'm gonna go find his school email later

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give the guy a message

valid axle
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gotta shave my face so badly bru

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idk if I can wait till thursday

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I might do it tmr or wesneday

valid axle
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im doing an assessment on wednesday where im gonna be making what i made today completely on my own

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(sponge pudding with chocolate sauce)

valid axle
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BAHHH THIS GAME IS SO FUN

valid axle
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how it feels to shower while listening to

valid axle
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so mann yummy drops

image.png
valid axle
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NO

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IM NOT GIVING UP ON IT ANYMORE

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IVE ALWAYS HAD A CLING OF HOPE AND THAT FLAME HAS BEEN REIGNITED

valid axle
# valid axle mackenzie

I asked the lady at the front if she has a list of student ids and she was so suspicious bro

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she was like "is there a problem or what's it for" and I said "oh he just said he wanted to catch up" and she was NOT having it

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I will find you mackenzie

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but in a good way

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she thinks I'm gonna go jump him bruh I jus wanna be friends

valid axle
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I lost a part of my earphones so I'm going home without music :(

valid axle
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im, too tired to shower

tight pier
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It says no to shower

valid axle
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DAAMMMNNNN

valid axle
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my ex messaged me through my friend yesterday

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took me 5 months to move on btw

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she coulda apologised in the first 3

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and i MIGHT have forgiven her

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too far gone

haughty nova
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oh no! :/ ....

solar cypress
valid axle
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I need to watch the other videos on this

valid axle
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hate how easily monster hunter disconnects

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me

valid axle
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was in a hurry so i didnt get a 10/10 picture

20251126_120443.jpg
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and i messed up the sauce

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but i passed

valid axle
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dude i rlly need to talk about chainsaw man WAH

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ill put a spoiler for the manga but yeah

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||i don't think any character in the entire show has a sadder death than aki and thats including EVERYONE in part 1. aki already became a fan favourite of a lot of people from day 1. how did he die? he was killed in the 'worst way possible' foretold by the future devil, who he made a contract with. he was killed by the chainsaw devil, basically his best friend. he was told by the future devil that he would die in a few days and panicked & searched for makima to protect him.

in a huge plot twist she was actually responsible for most the events of the whole series and forced him into a contract, turning him into a vessel for the gun devil, who is one of the strongest devils. he was ordered to go kill the chainsaw man, entirely out of his control and was killed in the process WAH||

valid axle
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SHE ADDED ME

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idk if i should js accept and hear her out

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cs i dont think i have the guts to block her

valid axle
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anyway

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!rank

sweet stumpBOT
valid axle
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thanks

valid axle
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cuz i unadded

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her

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gulp

valid axle
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js leave me the frick alone man

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adding me nd then having something to say but going offline

valid axle
valid axle
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KITA!!!!

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anyways im playing phasmophobia agin

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not by choice

valid axle
valid axle
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i love my journal

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ive brought out what hides under my flesh

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flesh??

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like fleshwater???

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FLESHWATER MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I LEFT THE KEYS INSIDE THE CARRRRR

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NEXT TO THE INFANT CRYING IN YOUR HEARTTTTTT

valid axle
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need something to talk about

valid axle
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big fat warning for sound and flashing lights

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AHHHHHHHHHHH

valid axle
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SO JOLLY

tight pier
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The name🥲🥲

valid axle
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hanz loves poles

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more like

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hanz loves PRESENTS

tight pier
valid axle
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tess

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your existance is a gift to everyone

tight pier
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Lmaoo😭😭

valid axle
tight torrent
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LMAO??

tight torrent
valid axle
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YES LAZ

tight torrent
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I AM WATCHING HOME ALINE RN

valid axle
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HELL YES

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I am going to watch the polar express on Christmas

tight torrent
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YAY

valid axle
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i told her a few days ago i hope she's okay and i'm sorry for asking so much to play and she said it's fine and she hopes i'm okay

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i'll give it a few weeks/months and ask if she thinks she'll be a ready for a relationship again at any point

valid axle
valid axle
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cannot put into words how much today pissed me off

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its okay th

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o

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sin is a bad thing but if i were the physical embodiment of any sin i would be pride

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because there is nothing more powerful in the world than me

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because it is MY world

valid axle
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me when people complain after they did something wrong

valid axle
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god that pissed me off

valid axle
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i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

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why can one not js hold a relationship in one place WAH

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the first relationship where i was properly happy

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ended before i could even do anything i wanted us to do together

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one of my fondest memories is when i was over at her house during a math tutor and she was laughing cs i was suffering whilst trying to eat papayas

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i don't remember the full sentence but she said something like "my boyfriend is sufferring trying to bla bla"

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genuinely when i got called a boyfriend at the bare minimum i was shaking so much inside

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my blood was acc boiling from how happy it felt

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i hope i'm not waiting just to be given false hope

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i bought her a flower book, a pendant necklace whilst on holiday

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i always asked if we could play

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i poured my heart out because i was given the opportunity to

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i asked for nothing more than a relationship and that was too much

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she'll never know either

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she'll never know about how many times i've talked about it here

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i've tried my absolute hardest to keep calm about it but its just so difficult to bottle it up

valid axle
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spent 3 hours downloading a game js to realise i cant run it

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so ive js been

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wasting most the day away

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:(

valid axle
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i got a thing for my internet

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so i wont disconnect now

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on monster hunter

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yay!!

tight torrent
valid axle
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my grandma's really badly ill so i don't think i can go to college today :(

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i really want to but i can't just leave her here

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she keeps saying "i'll be fine" because its something she caught a few weeks ago but wouldnt it be just so so morally wrong to leave an elderly sick woman alone from 7am to 6pm

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my cereal has been sat on my bowl for 10 mins now

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ive js been thinking

merry delta
valid axle
merry delta
valid axle
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yes ofc

valid axle
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"the bells of the gion monestary in india echo with the warning that all things are impermanent. the blossoms of the sala tree treaches through their hughes, and what flourishes must fade"

valid axle
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i've hit a low point in life

image.png
valid axle
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very targeted but i hate people who talk about their partner 24/7 as if i care

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i-i-i hope he wakes up soon pleading

valid axle
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FUCKKK

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I LOVE MY BLOODY VALENTINE

tight pier
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Evilhead

tight torrent
valid axle
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tody i will go to college but i also do gotta memorize shit for a test im taking today i think

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i dont remmeber all the questions tho

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so idfk how im supposed to revise ?

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like we had to leave our notes and the test at college b_think question_mark

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i remember some of it anyway

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like

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what are the 5 quality points when buying strawberries

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uhhhh

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i gott name like 3 types of puddings and a sauce to go with them

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luckily i got the recipes so i know the names

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FUCKING LOAD BRO

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LOOOAAADDD 🗣️ 🗣️

valid axle
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didnt load

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ill do it inna sec

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GOD they piss me off

valid axle
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like we get it u want the attention

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cuz otherwise it can so easily stay in dms

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holy shit

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IT LOADED

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steamed bakewell pudding with sticky toffee sauce

sticky toffee pudding with sticky custard sauce

steamed sponge pudding with chocolate sauce

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WHAT EL;SEEE

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YES

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quality points when buyng strawberries

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  1. strong, sweet smell
  2. bright red in colour
  3. bright green cap (calyx)
  4. should be soft and somewhat moist
  5. container should be clean and free of mold or foreign substances
valid axle
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So

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luckily i dont have that till next week

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prolly tuesday

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i was meant to get a train at 8:37, it was cancelled and the 8:24 came at 8:51

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so i got the 8:24

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got to college, class was empty

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found my chef nd he said all lessons today are cancelled

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went back home

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here i am now

valid axle
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pet the pod

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i was picking my nail and accidentally picked too deep

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and bled

valid axle
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my attention span feels so low rn

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i cant find something to do

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i dont even got the energy to talk much

valid axle
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i love rotoscoping

valid axle
solar cypress
tight torrent
solar cypress
valid axle
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Hello

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i havent posted any food on my instagram story in so long im gonna crine

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yesterday i almost lost the hairband she gave me and my heart sank

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i turned around and pushed through a busy crowd going past me to find it

valid axle
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not to anyone in huddle but i found out some shit some of my friends nd broo they're actually like such shitty people

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its so sad to see people i respected do and say so much even if i wasnt involved in it

valid axle
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praying on their downfall

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pray with me

solar cypress
valid axle
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lol

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LEVEL WHAT???

valid axle
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there's a war i have to win to be with her again

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a war i've been fighting with 3 other relationships

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i will win the war and win her Fishmael

valid axle
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i didnt put that fucking emoji BROOO

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im crying

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most unserious person ever

image.png
tight torrent
valid axle
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jolly head keep it sfw in the future please

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ok sotry

valid axle
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hai

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🥹

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i played a lot of umausume pretty derby yesterday

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said i was going to sleep then pushed like 2 hrs

valid axle
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losing a lot of ppl i wanted to be close with

valid axle
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i've lost a lot of friends this week

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some dont even know it yet

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i do feel awful but they're awful people

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truly truly awful

valid axle
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i still try to see the good in people but not everyone can be saved

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but thats ok

valid axle
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its just

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so so sad

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ive met so many amazing people this year

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and most of them have broken my trust beyond comprehension

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i don't even have high standards for people it's just

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be a decent human being

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i've met so many people that i want to be close with or call a close friend

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ppl i can just talk with daily and send stuff to

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but they're just horrible or wrong

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i need these type of shoes but idk what they're called...

ece50119cf3030d39b1dfe3a4adad008_rk7BQUory5utB.png
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luv temu

image.png
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still though

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my mental feels really far down atm

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but i dont rlly know what to do

valid axle
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might js go join servers

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to find people to make friends with

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sitting here and waiting for people to show up just isnt working

valid axle
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next week it's goin down

valid axle
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its lowk hurtful how many ppl ive lost that i wanted to b friends with

merry delta
valid axle
merry delta
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sorry about the grammar error 😓

valid axle
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splendid

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its okk

merry delta
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you’re an awesome person though, i hope you’re able to meet people who can value that

valid axle
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got blocked mid conversation

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was trynna be helpful too Sadden

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its jus going even lower down

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fuck off dude can something jus go right this year

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i liked them a lot dude arggg pmo WAH

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not romantically obv

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they were like

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essentially living from a whole other perspective from me

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so i enjoyed learning abt them

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whatever man

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i dont wanna play anything no more now js killed my mood

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js lost so many people this week and another one just adds on top like weights atp

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just pulling down on my heart like an anchor

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i rlly gotta find someone i can talk it with because i feel like im restricting myself sometimes

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wit what i say

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might not hurt to write another poem

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my chest is like killing me rn

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its liek a weird feeling for me

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it feels like im bleeding from the inside cs my chest just warms up a lot

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happens a lot in times like these

valid axle
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my heads js blanked out

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everyone i could possibly talk to this about rn is gone

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i jus wanna cry atp

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could i even do that

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nope

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pleas no

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i just dont want to die alone and young

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do whatever you want to me just please don't let me die alone

valid axle
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ya i lowk feel awful

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they unblocked me but idk if theres much of a point

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cs im only unblocked for a reason that doesnt even affect me

valid axle
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low key do wanna stay up but theres js

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nothing to do

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wanna tak about sum

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maybe i'll use this time to write a poem

valid axle
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i woke up so late today wow

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like 10 mins ago

valid axle
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i think there's a few people i need to shut out

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but they're also ppl in huddle so im not really sure

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atp i just gotta start over fr

valid axle
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back on disboard i guess

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lookin for servers

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idek what to search for

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yeah nvm i gave up looking

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i'm not very good at socialising

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or i'll say sm embarrassing and then get silent treatment

valid axle
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i miss my friend from may so much bro

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bought a £40 dollar game and watched an entire 150 ep show js cause they asked

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she was cool as fuck man

valid axle
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i don't know what to do anymore

valid axle
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dude i cant find my fucking apron

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i put it in my bag on thursday but i just cant find it

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im so fucking confident i put it in there

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i remember literally folding it up

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if anything it probably fell out

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omf i cannot do anything right bro

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i left my keys in the door for like 3 whole days

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and didnt know till i went out

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and im already paranoid enough about losing parts of my uniform

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im having like a panick attack rn over it

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my grandma was saying like how i shouldnt be worrying so much about such a small thing

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its not at all

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i wouldnt even be allowed in without it

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every fucking day something else has to happen

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to just ruin my mood even more

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i dont wanna spend more money but its my fucking fault

valid axle
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how do i pass my lvl 3 when i cant even confidently bring my uniform in and out

valid axle
valid axle
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its insane how my brain chooses games over most other things

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yet i still suck at every game i play

valid axle
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me after being ignored for like 20 odd minutes

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fucking done with this week

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im genuinely

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SO DONE

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ITS JUS BAD THING AFTER BAD THING

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I LOSE LIKE HALF THE PPL I TRUSTED

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ND THEN LOSE MY FUCKING APRON

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ND IM HAVING A 3RD CRISIS ABOUT SOMETHING I DON WANNA SHARE

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i rlly cant take this anymore

merry delta
# valid axle i jus wanna cry atp

i’m sorry you have to deal with this, if you ever want to talk about it or anything please feel free to talk to me, i genuinely hope things get better though 😞

valid axle
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ya thank u drool i will when I get on my computer tomorrow

valid axle
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found tis funny

Screenshot_20251207_233655_Instagram.jpg
valid axle
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anyways

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i got sum money soo

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im gonna spend a solid £15 on temu

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yk what i need more though

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accesories in general

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oh nvm they cost £15 combined

valid axle
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got another bunch of money today so i want to at least hold onto it

valid axle
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its so hot in my room and its distressing me so much

valid axle
#

lalalalalalalalalala

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go bingus go

valid axle
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newest ep of gachiakuta was so good

SPOILER_image.png SPOILER_image.png
valid axle
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I've been getting a lot of mental health videos for the last like 20 minutes

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cried a bit which was good for me

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I think i should stop seeing my friend at the station

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or at least get a different train

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it's killing my mental health more by being the side piece when I'm walking with friends

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people don't realise how I think and see the world and it's not anyone's fault

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it's not their fault that I'm afraid to open up out of fear of being seen like an alien

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I just wish I spent my last few years since 2020 doing something accomolishable

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but I haven't

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the last four years of my life have been spent doing nothing. I can't name a single thing I've accomplished

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I haven't made any friends and I still cling onto people who don't care about me

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there's a lot of people I'm not 100% about right now in huddle but I don't know if I could ever leave

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Im sure itll blow over but it's just all going so so down

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I've spent so long trying to be seen whilst I still sit outside the spotlight

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I never went to my school prom, I go to parties and spend them sitting in a corner for two hours

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I try to tell myself I'm okay and it will be okay but I don't have faith in myself

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if I did I would have at least been able to write something on my exams

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I just hope I'm noticed one day

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hopefully I won't be recognised for something like my own death

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I want people to see and value me

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I don't want to be a celebrity but I just want to feel like I'm at home when I'm not

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I promise I've tried to talk to people at college, my classmates, people around campus

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I knoe dam well I'm none of their first choices maybe not even their 5th

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there's just so many people i want to cut off but I'm honestly afraid

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I don't know why I haven't developed some sort of trust issues already

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i try to socialise, tell myself they're the right people when they're not, but because my brain tells me that I just shut myself off from socialising with new people

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I'm going to sleep early

valid axle
#

i've been given so much time to study but i've barely even looked at anything Sadden

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i got an assessment today so im prolly gonna fail that

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im gonna do what i can with the time i have now

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hot desserts
bakewell pudding with toffee sauce
sponge pudding with chocolate sauce
crepe suzette with vanilla cream ice

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im pretty sure it just wanted hot desserts

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not cold

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ughh there's so much idk what i need to know and not know

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i really dont know what else

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so i just have to go in with what i know

valid axle
#

i fucking hate them all

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and them two

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maybe even more than the others

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i'm so afraid of falling behind

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we went through the paper and my chef said on the first day reading it that "if we did it right now we'd be able to answer them easily"

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i didn't know an answer to a single one

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my heart is so much heavier this morning

valid axle
#

i was gonna get a train this morning but

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my ticket didn't scan

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and there was nobody there to help me through like there should be

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there's a button i could have pressed so they can let me go through if i showed my ticket but i had too much social anxiety to press it

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the whole thing could have been avoided if i just pressed a button

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i'm too afraid to even message about being absent today

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i'm sorry guys just don't be upset at me please Sadden

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it feels like laziness but it's not

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i just don't have the energy anymore

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i'm so mentally tired

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i grew up mostly lonely and i'm going to die that way too

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i just don't understand what i've done to deserve all this

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i'm sorry

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i've just become so mentally tired from everything

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i can't take it

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i'm missing out on so much college i'm gonna fail for sure

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im sorry

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i can't do as little as press a button just to get to college

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i don't think i'm gonna last

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i really tried but

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it's just all going so so downhill

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ever since i lost you

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i'm gonna be spending the entire day stressing and panicking about college

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because im totally capable of going in

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but my body wont let me

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i wanted to turn around after leaving the station but my body just wouldnt let me

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need to be struck down and turned into a lifeless vessel

valid axle
#

everyone i hate is doing better than me

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they're further and doing what i can't

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i just fucking can't

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the guilt's haunting me

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i can't do anything rn

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i can't go to college but it hurts me so fucking much to stay at home

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i hate it all

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i got ppl i wanna block but i dont wanna see their "blocked message" thing in huddle

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i'm honestly so scared

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my heart is killing me

valid axle
#

im going in

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im DOING it

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I WILL GO

valid axle
#

I feel at least a bit better at college but my apron isn't here

valid axle
#

we're making chicken something today

valid axle
hot whale
valid axle
#

is veryyy

hot whale
#

yeah, that chicken piece seems tender

valid axle
#

twas very tender

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it ripped off before icould even put it in the container

valid axle
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yea i failed that shit before I even started it

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💔 💔

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my teacher was opening the papers before even marking them

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to see if we answered them

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I placed my paper there and left immediately

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my chef gonna find me around college and body slam me into da pavement boi

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I wanna redo it lowk but I already know most the answers now

valid axle
#

made some disgusting ass stuff

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never eating it ever

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I HATE CUSTARD

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lalalalalalalalalala

valid axle
#

so

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tomorrow there's gonna be 30 customers showing up

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we're gonna be cleaning, bartending etc

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hopefully im just cleaning

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😰

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i havent done anything like this before so

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it would be a bit cruel to put someone like me out so soon

valid axle
#

w eats

20251210_151939.jpg
merry delta
valid axle
#

a lizard 😭 😭 😭

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ya it's a bt burnt

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very crispy tho loved it

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didn't leave any meat behind

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I was using a knife and fork but it was taking too long so I just dug in

merry delta
valid axle
#

yes!!!!

merry delta
#

it looks great tho!!

valid axle
#

thank u heh

#

I don't remember what the sauce was but it's like mustard and tomato puree and a bunch of other shit

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all mixed and then mixed into a bowl with the raw wings

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cooked for like 30 mins nd they came out bwaiitufoikly

merry delta
valid axle
#

IT WAS SOOOO

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mmmmmm

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luckily I got like 4 more pieces in the freezer tn

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gonna demolish those as well

merry delta
#

giggling that’s awesome

merry delta
valid axle
hot whale
#

due

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dude*

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i am amazed how your chicken is so tender

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so you cooked this one and the last one?

tight torrent
valid axle
#

the process took around 10 minutes

#

the 2nd one i prepared at college and cooked at home because it was raw

valid axle
#

i woke up nd went to the bathroom but broo i feel sm pain now

#

i dont know if its gonna come back or not

#

it was hurting BADLY

#

im afraid if i start moving around its gonna come back WAH

#

but like i gotta go in today

#

but todays so scaryyyy

#

and theres real customers

#

im not ready for that yet Sadden

valid axle
valid axle
#

eewwww

#

gotg a jumpscare from my first few messages in my journal

#

that was a dark

#

dark time

#

don't look

#

this one mf ignoring me rn

#

gonna slime em

valid axle
#

imbeckle

valid axle
#

u guys think im cooked for the next update

image.png
valid axle
#

me too

valid axle
#

i saw that drool

#

i got a reaction notification

#

while in the bathroom

#

she's so nonchalant

#

need something to yap yap about

#

ok

#

ive noticed a trend where some of the new mega evolutions in pokemon suck

#

spoilers obv

#

but imo all the new megas (greninja, garchomp, lucario and absol) are way worse than the old ones

#

except maybe absol

#

ill send comparisons

#

the only one ill accept is mega lucario z

SPOILER_mega-lucario-vs-mega-lucario-z-stats-discussion-v0-9e95aiusna6g1.png
#

so many spoilers sorry

#

BUT COME ONNN THE FIRST ONES R BETTER THAN THE 2ND

#

as a whole

#

they've just gotten worse

#

i'm really disappointed in the new designs

#

the pokemon look so similar it's like their main goal wasn't even to be able to differentiate them from their mega

#

its alright some of them look ait

valid axle
#

k i got nun else to do

#

nobodys awake

#

and its 1am

#

so goodnight

toxic valve
#

I used to love Pokémon still do ig but I’ve heard people saying they haven’t been making good new shit for years. It seems like a cash grab, they know people love the franchise and will keep buying tbh it wouldn’t be a problem if they accepted it stop forcing new releases. Go retro rerelease the ds id love to play the old Pokémon on ds that console was so fun I don’t want a switch. Bring the Wii back too shit was peak

valid axle
#

.
the cash grab part definately comes in with legends za as well!! if you want the best experience of pokemon legends za, you have to buy a nintendo switch 2, as well as a switch online membership (in order to get access to a few certain mega evolutions), and also both the main game and the dlc

valid axle
#

she's all ears

valid axle
#

nobody to talkk tooooo

#

might have to go join servers again

valid axle
#

they look soooo goood

valid axle
#

rhrbbrhbrhb

#

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#

i joined a server

#

lowk left tho

#

they all just talk about p##n

#

reminds me of another server i know...

valid axle
#

BROOO NOOOOOOOO

#

U KNOW THAT GIRL I KEPT TALKING ABOUT WHO I GOT MONSTER HUNTER FOR

#

I HAD A DREAM WHERE

#

SHE ADDED ME BACK AND SAID SORRY

valid axle
#

why the fuck is modding so difficult

valid axle
#

i been playing so long today

#

my head hurt

valid axle
#

need to remake my straw page

#

im not happy wit it

valid axle
#

guys guys guys

#

my new shirts came

valid axle
#

IM LOSING IT

#

THIS IS SO DIFFICULT TO MOD

#

I JS WANNA CHANGE THE LOOK OF A WEAPON

#

i give up witht hsi shit

valid axle
#

IM LOSING IT

#

IM STILL TRYING BUT

#

LOSING MY SANITY TRYING

valid axle
#

now my game goes black

#

so im just reinstalling it

#

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#

GREIPOY GOPOIG UJIWERA PIOUVGUER UIPOGTVEGTPUPIO GFVBUOP GDF9 IPOGTRI-YH,ICF-IH-G BMFD[PVBGK[OER,STGI,4R[KT5=Y-IK,GCVI[KG[OK F[PHRET

#

so much rage rn stored up

#

evil malice

valid axle
#

ITS STILL NOT WORKINGGGG

#

IM GONNA CRY

valid axle
#

i dont wanna sleep yet but

#

i got college monday

#

its not like im doing much tmr anyuway

#

feel like poem writing again

#

yeah

#

need the right song tho

#

this one's perfect but i'll never truly understand it

#

sometimes it speaks to me

#

one voice says "tough shit", one says "i promise i'll be here for you" and the other says "it was bound to happen anyway"

#

it's not enough

#

i like this one more

#

please listen to it...

valid axle
#

kinda sucks

#

really sucks

#

gn

valid axle
#

kind of creepy how im afraid to join my own bsf over the fear of disturbing her

#

on roblox

valid axle
#

nothing to do and its pissin me the fuck off

valid axle
#

my chest is aching again

valid axle
#

might post some gachiakuta stuff so

#

manga spoilers

#

NOOOOO

SPOILER_18.png
#

FREE MY GIRL

#

lowk love this frame

image.png
#

it shows how rudo on the dark side is starting to understand himself nd move closer to enjin who sits in the light

valid axle
#

i fuckin hate u rbo

#

im getting you out

#

i can rn

#

tomorrow gonna go so well

#

i manifest

valid axle
#

first off im NOT going to my math class

#

trust me i cannot

#

my phone is low on battery

#

and i need some to get home

valid axle
#

something to say but im too embarrassed

#

k nvm

#

i lost my locker key sadness

#

i put it in my bag but

#

its not in there

#

the one day i didnt double check i had everything

#

this is why im afraid of my thing at college cs im losing stuff so easily

#

i dont fucking know where it is

#

maybe i left it on the floor

#

i swear i put it in my bag

#

i promise

#

i just got distracted by one thing nd it fucked up my whole night

valid axle
#

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP

#

YOU'RE SO ANNOYYYIIINNNGGGG

#

need to leave a server but i know the owner is gonna message me againa bt it

#

and im gonna have to explain how i feel like i dont fit in at all

#

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

valid axle
#

no matter how many times I try to be strict on myself I will never accept that I will have more chances

#

it's okay

#

gn

valid axle
valid axle
#

praying I can make it home sit 14%

#

it's 2pm and I don't get home till like 5-6

valid axle
#

i had 5% left

valid axle
valid axle
#

made a new straw page

#

😎

valid axle
#

love it

image.png
valid axle
#

hey so can my exes js leave me alone

#

thanks

#

ppreciated

valid axle
#

need more on my straw page

valid axle
#

yeah i didnt find anything for it

#

love these guys

image.png
valid axle
valid axle
#

but there's not many of them

#

i need to find another

#

hol;d on

#

i gotta crop out the beginning cs they use nsfw videos at the start

#

i think its called gooner bait

#

i looooove

#

not a fan of the videos tho cuz its so difficult to keep up

valid axle
#

thats js me anyway

#

i like them

valid axle
#

yeah thats right gtfo

image.png
valid axle
#

sent her a teeny tiny message asking if she wants to try again

#

at some point

#

yo fuk u chat gpt

image.png
#

clanker

valid axle
valid axle
#

my classmate was talking about how she was flirting and dancing with a guy at a concert but she forgot to get his snap

#

bless her

valid axle
#

guys i found my apron

#

that i lost

#

it was sat on top of my locker at college the whole time

valid axle
valid axle
valid axle
#

grandma jus had a massive rant because basically every one in my family has a problem rn with her

#

bless her man

valid axle
#

js found out my close friend and step sister share the same birthday

#

cuz its their birthday today

valid axle
#

i still haven't really processed it entirely but that truly is it

#

i've entirely lost my first proper relationship after fighting my hardest to keep every piece together

#

but of course it wasn't going to be enough

#

i wish i had someone to talk to at this time cs most my friends r offline now

#

i've wanted nothing more than to be just held and physically comforted

#

but i think it's just too much to ask for atp

valid axle
#

i cant decide mane

image.png image.png image.png
#

3rd on

#

ive decided

#

i had another that looked cool but it has to be on a platform

#

ok nvm its like helal expensive

#

cuz shipping fee

#

k i got one

#

now i js need a

#

switch card holder

valid axle
#

another weird ass dream

#

so like

#

this gang member was walking around with weapons like a sickle and spear

#

he was teasing us a bit so I had the confidence to just yoink the spear out if his hand

#

layer on he confronted me, so I took the sickle and punched him in the face

#

nd we just d
fought and fought

#

took his eyes out them put him out for good 💪

valid axle
#

YES YES YES YES YES YES

#

NEW OTUKA DROP

valid axle
#

another day

valid axle
#

ok guys i need to make a list of everything i need for tomorrow

#

so i need

  1. either google wallet set up or my card to buy stuff
  2. my phone
#

wait lowk thats iit

#

OH AND A BAG

#

carrier bag nahh

#

maybe js my college bag

#

and i should walk out with that and my newly obtained skateboard

valid axle
#

im so ready

valid axle
#

i got the wrong size nd i dont know if i wanna skateboard anymore

#

how was i supposed to know it has diff sizes

#

i tried to skate down an empty road but i had rlly bad social anxiety trying to

#

cuz of cars and people walking past

#

and it was also really loud

#

i don't want to skate if it's gonna be that loud

#

yeah i dont wanna skate anymore nvm

#

im gonna go get it refunded

#

i always tell myself i have the confidence to do something but everything i should do runs right over my head

#

i rlly cant do anythin right

#

aaaand i get ignored

valid axle
valid axle
valid axle
#

something just feels so off

#

i can happily refund my skateboard

#

but its js

#

my social anxiety is worse than i thought

valid axle
#

fucking hate when ppl leave mid convo

valid axle
#

should've seen this coming

image.png
valid axle
valid axle
#

i hate having jealousy problems

#

ive had friends who play without me or play w someone else

#

nd i would feel so jealous even if they're not doing it on purpose

#

happened with my friend who i lost in july

#

she would play obbies with one of our mutual friends and i got so jealous

#

i think that feeling gaslit me into wanting a relationship because i feared being replaced

#

i'm happy my friends have other friends but

#

i hate feeling left our or potentially replaced

#

or like

#

competition

#

i hate feeling like i have to try harder just to be seen by my own friends

#

the same thing happened after i lost another friend of mine

#

he's close friends with my best friende

#

but for a while i felt like i was competition

#

i don't anymore but still

#

it hurts my chest

#

i found a video on it wait

#

oo actually wait

#

ill rewrite it here

#

waiut nvm its like a minute long

#

nbvm ill do it anyway

valid axle
#

"i get jealous easily, i won't lie about it. it's not because i don't trust you, it's because i care too much. when i love, i don't give 30% or 80%, i give all of me and that's why it scares me. so yeah, when someone else makes you laugh or gets all your attention, my chest tightens, my heart hurts and the ringing in my head gets louder. i don't want control or supervision over you, but i just don't want to feel like a burden to you, a waste of your time, something so easily replaceable because someone else has something i don't - and that's the feeling that eats away at me. it eats and eats and the worst part is nobody sees it because they can't from the naked eye, it's not someone's fault if they don't see it any sooner than they do. i think, worry, imagine events and scenarios with you that never happened and i hate that about myself. despite that, it's how i'm wired - when i care, i care from head to toe and with every piece of my heart. if i get jealous because of you then it means i care, your presence warms my heart and the thought of losing you is like watching a loved one be killed in front of you. as much as i don't want to be a jealous type, someone who worries when someone else makes you smile, it's inevitable. i'm working on it but it's not something that forms from hate, it forms from love. not the relationship type necessarily. because once that feeling hits, the feeling of losing them is unbearable"

valid axle
#

guys i finally got the birdbrain emote in a game i really like playing

#

so i falter at the forethought

#

i keep on running like a chicken with its head cut off

#

put my neck up on the chopping board

#

birdbrain

#

baby i dont know when i'm supposed to stop

#

BOCCHI!!!!

valid axle
valid axle
#

why am i gettin jealousy problems over someone i met yesterday jus cause they're playign with other people blurrycry

valid axle
#

just why

#

i js zoned out for like a full minute

valid axle
valid axle
#

my friend said she'll join me in 30 minutes

#

:(

#

ive been waiting about an hr now

hot whale
valid axle
#

just kills my chest to think abt it

#

vented to my friend about it as well and wow

#

they went offline immediately

#

so they can message me fine and when i say something nopeee off they go

#

ppl fuckin suck man

#

k i give up waiting

#

DO I REALLY ASK FOR TOO MUCH

#

LIKE JESUS

#

i really do wanna just say like "hey r u gonna join yet" but dude

#

im jus gonna be annoying obviously

#

IM SO DONE DUDE

#

I ASK FOR THE SMALLEST THINGS

#

JUST SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY

#

DO I GET SHIT FOR IT NOOOOOOOOO

#

too much bad has js hapopened to me this year

#

please stop i beg

#

my heart wont last the year if you don't stop

#

please

#

genuinely how i feel rn

SPOILER_correct-me-if-im-wrong-but-did-sukuna-really-use-megumi-as-v0-kqdios5rvekb1.png
#

jjk spoilers

valid axle
#

HI GUYS

#

caps

#

hi

#

guys

#

hi gus

next sable
#

Bro wbag even is that

valid axle
#

tiktok eboys

tight torrent
valid axle
#

hi laz

#

k i thouht

#

and now ive forgot

valid axle
valid axle
#

silly

valid axle
#

i finished chainsaw man yay

#

well up to chapter 224

#

spoilers

#

||WHY THE FUCK DID THEY KILL OFF NAYUTA WAH WAH I LOVED HER||

valid axle
#

i complained how my friend always goes offline right after i message her and she says like "i dont know when ur gonna reply so"

#

this is the 6th time in a row she's gone offline after i reply within the first minute

#

fuck i peeled off most my lower lip again

#

also

#

i made a new friend off roblox

#

joined her and was js playing a bit

#

like having some friendly fights

#

and my other friend dude joined and kept interrupting over and over

#

i js left cs i was gettng pissed

#

im totally falling back into that people pleaser hole just by how im talking w them

#

but i cant rlly help it

#

rlly need to find something to distract myself rn

#

cuz im still bothered abt it an hour later

valid axle
#

imma put monster hunter down for a bit

#

just havent been playing it

#

..

valid axle
#

i wish i got someone a gift this year

#

the two people i got gifts for dont even care abt me anymore

#

one of them cut me off

#

did she know that was the first time i've ever given someone a gift?

#

anyways

#

i js opened up abt like 2 serious things

#

and my friend made jokes out of both of them

#

havent responded since

#

yeah that rlly hurt

#

its stuff i would never open up about

valid axle
#

nothing to doooo

#

fuck dude

valid axle
#

2 week break just for nothing

#

i cant stop biting my lips nd nails

#

I HATE THIS SO MUCH

#

I DONT FEEL LIKE PLAYING, READING OR WATCHING ANYTHING

#

BUT I DONT WANNA SIT HERE AND WASTE MY DAY AWAY

#

i hate getting attatched to someone to the point where i get jealouis or fear being replaced just because they talk with a lot of energy around others

valid axle
valid axle
#

my head hurts

#

3 years later i still have nowhere to lay my head at times like these

#

i do tell ppl they will find the love of their life when the time is right but it feels a bit hypocritical

#

because as a whole i've been waiting since i was 14 or 15

#

i've given into the hope she'll show up when i need her

#

have i not reached a low enough point to just deserve that reassurance yet?

#

i used to drink 2 energy drinks a day but now i'm going to js one

#

today im gonna have my 2nd just cuz i rlly need the energy

#

i feel so drained for no reason

#

love denji to pieces

#

but i just dont like him in part 2

#

part 2 kinda ruins him a bit

#

spoilers i suppose

#

firstly for part 1
||denji has basically been a victim the entire him, he was never being 'used' because makima was never interested in him, she was merely giving him what he wanted which took him a bit to realise. he was eating proper food every day and lived with his friends which is why it's important that the realisation kicked in before makima took it all away||

#

now part 2
||part 2 he was sort of being used more than being a victim. he was only kept alive because yoru wanted to settle her score with the real chainsaw man, the "black chainsaw man" as it's called in the manga. the only real difference though is yoru at least acknowledged him whilst i think makima rlly did||

tight torrent
#

I think thats why

#

You're just too awesome and the world is waiting for someone to reach your level of awesomeness

valid axle
#

you couldnt be more right laz

#

i probably gotta go visit my mom for christmas today

#

i rlly dont wanna bro i dont have the energy to

#

i js dont wanna get guilt tripped into going........

valid axle
#

i need everyone praying on their downfall