#airhead's journal

1 messages · Page 3 of 1

valid axle
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ok i leave house now toodles

valid axle
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we were looking at Netflix and my uncle spent a solid 2 minutes talking abt Alice in borderland

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she loved Alice in borderland

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I wish I could have forgotten that

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it's so unfair she's probably happy now

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and I still struggle to cope even when I get a small reminder of her

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I wish forgetting was easy

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during our last month together I tried so hard to just comfort her

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I played with her until she had to go

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bless her heart but I really do deserve more

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I want to be loved the way she did but it just can't be ger

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she's damaged me mentally way too much

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I'll do whatever it takes to be loved again that way

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I wish people could throw themselves into my shoes so they could tell me if I'm properly deserving of that kind of love again 😿

valid axle
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I'm really trying i can't fuckimg forget her

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it was 4 months ago

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I'm being mentally flooded with memories and thoughts I had of her

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I hope if I get with fynn I can tell her how much I've needed this for so long

valid axle
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I'm so sorry bella just please let me forget you

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if I continue this way I'll end up messaging you again

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it'll go on and on until you find someone new and that's a type of heartbreak that my heart could never handle in a hundred years

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just please forgive me and let me forget you I beg

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even if it was the right person at the wrong time, I wish things could have been better but just please

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we can't fix things if neither of us change and I don't think it can happen I'm sorry

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if I wasn't seeing someone else I would have killed to just be friends at the minimum

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I'm sorry just let me forget I'm sorry just let me forget I'm sorry just let me forget I'm sorry just let me forget I'm sorry just let me forget I'm sorry just let me forget

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my heart burns

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just please

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I'm sorry, just let me forget.

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I'm sorry Bella. Please let me forget.

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you were always the center of attention

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it was always about you

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and then I lost you.

valid axle
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omg hi lucine big fan

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I got a signed copy of your journal

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anyways

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DICKHEAD

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he's so energetic at this time bro

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it's hot and late

valid axle
valid axle
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I love her but I hope she at least takes my hints

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I think I'll try something

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not next time I visit but

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the time after

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I'm thinking of something like

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"could we try a relationship? I love everything about you and I do overall feel better when I'm around you, like when we play or when I saw you show up to the party we went to on july. I hope you don't think a relationship is too much because I'm very willing to give you space when you need it, as much as I do want physical touch. also, i don't want a relationship to be in the way of (her best friends name). on top of that, I don't want her to feel like her relationship with you is being disrupted by ours and I won't expect you to prioritise me over her. I have so many more things I can say but I want to be straightforward 🙂‍↕️ "

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just a prototype trust

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I love that she's happy sith her girl best friend and I hope a relationship doesn't disrupt that because they are like 2 peas in a pod

valid axle
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its 5am Bella.

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let me rest

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I have 4 hours of sleep please

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don't let these thoughts of you come rushing back now

valid axle
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I told my bsf about it who I usually talk with this stuff abt

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pretty sure she js didn't see it because she was sending me stuff from roblox

valid axle
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woke up at like 6 took the dog out at like half 6

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he's an energetic little twit love him tho

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my aunt says he's far more affectionate around me than other guests she gets

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prolt cuz I'm not as loud

valid axle
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can I just watch something that doesn't have any romance bro

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im trying to js enjoy myself

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not thinking abt relationships

valid axle
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dude my friend is sending me his progress on re zero when it's on my qatchlist bri

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let me be spoiler freeeee

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I hate when ppl watch one thing and make it their whole personality

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like I can talk about a show I liked and maybe have it as my pfp for a week but mors than that bru

last crater
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Haiii, just came here to say hello and I hope you're doing alright. Don't worry airhead one day that one person you keep talking about will know your worth. If you ever need anything I'm here hugs

valid axle
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bless your heart

valid axle
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please bella

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go away

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I can't take it

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I can't handle being repeatedly haunted by her

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you said I'm the right person yet still neglected me because of your friends

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I had to spent some days walking to achool while arguing with them

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I had to deal with them calling me a bad boyfriend for so long

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I don't know how much longer I can take this heartache for

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I took so many hard hits and she just dismissed it whenever she upset me

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but whenever I did something like reply 5 minutes too late I don't get to see her for the rest of the day

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I watched arcane and squid game for you

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just becuase you said you liked them

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I've been cheated on and dumped but it doesn't compare to the utter pain that you put on me on april

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I've had my heart torn open by so many people

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but it didn't come close to you who ripped it and tried to repair it without any tools

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even if I tried to kms it wouldn't even scratch the edge of the pain that you left on my heart

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I've spent some nights crying

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I've wanted to spend more but

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you've ran my eyes dry

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I'll never not miss you but I would never to back to the same person who did the things you did

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I found someone I just hope you can move forward with your life

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for the first time in a relationship I gave 110%

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seeing you just say hi brightened me up so much

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even if it was just a "hi"

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I'd never say that

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it'd be "HI BBBBBB" or something like that

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was so happy but

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I'll probably heal from this one day

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a third of my journal is prolly js about that

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I tried again and I tried again after but it was me who messed up that time

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we were there for each other as friends when we had one of our lowest points

valid axle
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i was watching a show and

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there was a girl that looked like her ffs

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just when I was doing better

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I need this relationship soon

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cs it's killing me

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not having someone to run to

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I could never tell myself to focus on something else

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I want to be properly loved for the first time

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the way I've wanted

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my cheat huetsss

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chest huets

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HURTS

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not from any of that it just hurts rn

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piss take

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imnprolly hungry that's why

valid axle
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already 2000 messages fucjing hell

valid axle
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me when mf just starts spoiling the anime in the gc i talk in

valid axle
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i promise i will ask this girl out

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eventually

valid axle
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things get better b_face_holding_back_tears

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nothing's changed yet

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i may be less miserable about bella rn but

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nothing good has happened to me yet

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though i still feel like things will get better

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and they will

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if they don't, then it's the wrong time

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you will have what you deserve one day

valid axle
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please don't stop trying

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i promise things will turn out better as long as you have hope

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it's a dark cruel world but as long as you can prove that stars still shine on the darkest nights

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then it can work

valid axle
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gm

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remember you're not a burden to those around you

valid axle
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i don't have the energy to do stuff anymore

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mostly js socialise rn

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i wanna read some cook books online or look at guides for catering

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but im just afraid i'll procrastinate and not do it

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cuz i always did thatr and thats why i never studied WAH

valid axle
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no motivation to do anyth right now

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myabe if i js force myself to watch something for 10 mins

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no distractions

valid axle
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i forgot to reply here but it worked

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im planning a bolognese rn

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minced beef + worcestershire sauce + button mushrooms + onions + baby carrots + tomato sauce + salt/pepper + spaghetti + thyme

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not a huge spice person but i want to add some seasoning

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and additions

valid axle
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i wish i could hold a convo with her for 5 minutes WAH

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i try but

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she just dissapears so fast

valid axle
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friend js cut me off

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havent really had that happen before but

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bit heartbreaking cs i spent sm money on monster hunter

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and im sat here watching the same friggin anime she suggested

valid axle
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wtf am i savying vro

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soryr that js came outa nowhere

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i'll move on from tat

valid axle
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mha spoilers!!

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not m,y edit but

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i LOVE it

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they use their budget well on this dam anime

valid axle
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punkrocker x midoriya is such a neat combo

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i feel like a lot of the things he says in mha do help ppl out a lot

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"Sometimes I do feel like i'm a failure, like there's no hope for me. But even so, i'm not gonna give up"

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💪 💪

valid axle
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put my phone on charge while it was at 5%

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2 hours passed

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its

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at

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fucking

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2%

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36 HOURS TILL FULL MY ASS

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LET ME BREATTTHEEE

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MY THRTOATS SO SORREEEE

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CANT YOU SEEEEE

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THAT ID LIE FORRRR

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ID DIE FOR USSSSS

valid axle
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ok guys

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lets see how much it has charged

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its gone up to 4%..

valid axle
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i don't know what i want to do with you anymore, and i don't mean that in a bad way, not at all. i don't know if i want a relationship with you because if i decide i don't, and you date someone else while we're still friends, i'll feel ashamed with myself because that could have been me.

if i decide i do, getting with you will be an even harder challenge. we have so much in common and we feel so close yet i still feel so distant, but maybe that's not anyone's fault. you want distance sometimes and i get that, you didn't want to play today because you'd be dried out from the party yesterday, i don't know if you really were or if you just couldn't be asked, and i wouldn't mind either way. maybe i should tell your friend that i like you, i could never directly do it to you, not yet.

i saw you at the party and my attention panned to your friend when she mentioned your name. it felt weird but it does go to show that i do at least care about you. you have so much energy no matter who you talk to and i wish i could be like that. i don't know if i like you or if i just idolize you because i could only ever dream of being as extroverted as you. i want to try and talk but i couldn't at the party yesterday. i don't want to give up but it's just hard when i'm surrounded by so many people i don't think i'd get along with.

we play, call and sometimes talk but i just wish we did talk more. i don't know if you talk to me less or more than others but it's most the time me that talks first. even if you take 2 hrs to respond i do my best to be there in the first minute. i just hope soon you can say or do something that'll help me figure out if i do want a relationship with you or if i just want to stay close friends. if something bad happens between us because of all of this i hope you know i never had bad intentions.

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i didn't even think i'd have much to say nd still managed to push 3 paragraphs

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holy shit

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but yea i went to a party yesterday

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same one basically and

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i just felt so awkward

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had small talk with like 3 ppl who talked to me first and thats about it

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i got up after 2 hours, someone saw me leaving and said it out loud because i was trying to just silently leave

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hate it

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my friend came up to me and said why i'm not talking to anyone and i just said i'm not good at socialising

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i don't know half the people there, or like

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they were all sat in the grass together and i was just on the bench on my own

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please let the signs come sooner

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i don't want to live like this anymore

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i want this weight off my chest for good

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i'm just so fucking sick of this guilt i feel from the parties

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if i don't go i feel like i'm missing out because it's the only chance i get to hang out with people

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if i do go i hide away in a corner while still sticking out

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i don't even fit in with the group i hang out with

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even if people aren't there for me

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i still am there for others

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i try not to ignore people in the server

valid axle
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i dont listen to zomb very often

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but when i do

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i really do

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such cunty music

valid axle
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strongly suggest u guys watch this

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because this hasn't been made aware of enough

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it's fucking disgusting i'll explain my side on this when i can be asked

valid axle
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going london tmr

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hopefully nothing bad goes wrong with the train

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like getting my ticket

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nd shit

valid axle
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there are some people here i hope i can properly b friends with outside of huddle

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because some ppl here i do find really cool

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even the ones i dont talk with much

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or at all

valid axle
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have to be up at like 9

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train leaves at 11:39

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i'll get there in maybe 30 mins

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at the minimum

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its gonna be so funn we're getting the same train too

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so we'll meet on the same train

valid axle
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some things to say first

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I wanna ask the people here a question

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I don't care if you just reply or react but I want an answer

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so this girl bella

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you've seen me talk abt her loads of tines

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mostly in a bad way

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do you think we could ever work things out again?

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I'm just losing confidence in this one girl I've been talking to

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because she just doesn't talk to me at all

valid axle
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maybe if enough time passes she'll have taken the time to fix her life

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and we can try ahain

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but rn it just can't happen

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and for all I know it never could

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we've tried 3 times and it was a total failure

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I refuse to blame myself for everything we did

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I will now cry myself to sleep

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and enjoy tmr

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love u guys gn

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NO CUZ

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ITS ACRUALLT SCARY

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IF I CANT WORK THINGS OUT WITH FYNN IN MAYBE A TELATIKNSHIP WAY

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RELATIONSHIP SORRY

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THEN IDK WHAT IM GONNA DO

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I js want a real skin to skin relationship

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I'm so fucking tired of dealing with long distanceb

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I want things to work out

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I just have nobody else if I can't have her

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I've felt this way for so long when will it be my turn to feel proper love sad

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I'm so ready for a relationsgip I promise

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but why would she say no?

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what reason??

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maybe she doesn't think she's ready because she can't put enough effort in

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but what if I just tell her ill give her as much space as she needs

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bbbbbut I need like weeks sometimes

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I love you take as much time as you need please

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shirs so hards

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gn for real now

valid axle
valid axle
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small wip I made on the train js now with my super awesome ahd cool imagination

valid axle
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i like a lot of diff anime but demon slayer just tops it

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ofc not my edit u can see the watermark

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the fact they hand drew this bro

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im gonna cry when the next 2 movies come out

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this shit is so good 🥹

valid axle
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yeah i went to london yesterday

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got a cool dawn wings toy

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forogt to mention that

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action figure not a toy

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pretty kewl

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one of the coolest designs oat

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plus pokemon ultra moon is my fav pokemon game

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the extended part of moon is so good

valid axle
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I've been having a very similar dream where I'm like trying to get groceries and I have to hide from this guy in order to get them

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otherwise I get bannd from the online shopping and have to use a vpn to shop again

valid axle
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the only ex that keeps coming back bro b_disappointed

image.png
valid axle
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stuff gets interesting now

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i've written a lot on my instagram note just expressing my love and i wrote one today saying how she has no idea they're all about her

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and her BEST FRIEND asked me if its about her

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im locking in

valid axle
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the seen part is a bit concerning

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maybe she was telling someone about it

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BUT SHE KNOWS

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SHE'S HAD SUSPICIONS I CAN JUST TELL

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anyways im gonna doomscroll for a lil then gts

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nighty

valid axle
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still havent slept btw

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ffs

valid axle
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worst morning yet

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got off at 12, went to bed at 1:40

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couldnt sleep by 2 and went back on my computer till 4

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because i just wasnt fucking tired

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supposed to get my results as well for my math exam

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cs i re-took it

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prolly failed it

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i dont even know when to go in

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why you ask???

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BECAUSE

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THE SCHOOL DOESN'T TELL ME JACK SHIT WAH

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LITERALLY THIS SCHOOL SUCKS

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I WOKE UP AT 11 BRO

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I DONT WANNA BE DEALING WITH GETTING YELLED AT FOR STaying up

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like sorry i couldn't sleep?

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do you want me to sit on my bed till 4am instead?

valid axle
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laa dododododododo laa dododododododo

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FFFFFFFFFFUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

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ok i back

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im back to being uhm

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whimiscal and joyous

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im watching someone type out on their journal rn and im reacting and i feel like they feel so nervous because it looks like i'm just sitting in the chat the entire time SOB

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bless you know who you are and im sorry

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THIS WAS SO FUNNY

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i know u guys dont understand a thing but do not worry

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jjs translator here

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i was doing a two on one against those two, and the purple move i used does like 90% of your health

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but the big guy has the ability to deflect attacks

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so he deflected it and accidentally hit the guy he's helping WAH

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funny asf

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i miss when i used this journjal properly SOB

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(30 mins ago)

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but stilll

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yeah ignore my laugh

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haha

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i have a few clips with my laugh and it changes every time

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https://medal.tv/games/roblox/clips/kS3AB6r2cLE3H7WB4?invite=cr-MSxaY1IsMTIwNzU2NDg5&v=22 https://medal.tv/games/roblox/clips/kh1my57IECAdwlZds?invite=cr-MSxGcDAsMTIwNzU2NDg5&v=7 https://medal.tv/games/roblox/clips/kaRz1pNVwnMNVt6cI?invite=cr-MSxZUWksMTIwNzU2NDg5&v=20 https://medal.tv/games/roblox/clips/kofl344wWObLfGjqM?invite=cr-MSxiWXUsMTIwNzU2NDg5&v=8

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yeah i got a lot of laughs

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my laugh is nothing short of contageous

valid axle
valid axle
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new dream time

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went to achool with my friend which for some reason had a road running through it

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he was doing burnouts after we for some reason swapped the tires

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and after we went into a library which had a lot of goth girls and lego ninjago books

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one of them said please don't leave sarcastically

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and I woke uo

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I also woke up at 5am for some reason..

valid axle
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update on the roblox situation

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@haughty nova u might want to see this too when you have the time teto_heart

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its so funny how they're called vigilantes

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they take that much serious but not protecting children

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the actual police have done more towards their app over themselves

valid axle
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looking good

image.png
valid axle
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MY SHADERS ARE WORKING IF U DINT REALISE

valid axle
valid axle
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hallo SteamHappy

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please please listen to the whole thing

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SING TETOOO SINGGGGG LETSFUCKINGGOOOOO

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and if ur lazy go toooo

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3:15

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HOLY SHITTTTT

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SPEAK YOUR HEART OUT MY KING

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i like the song if u couldnt tell

valid axle
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we played together today

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for 5 hrs

valid axle
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this might be the start of some downfall

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cuz im totally capable of like

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not getting accepted into college

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and also getting rejected

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and also

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fucking up my sleep schedule fully

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i'm only staying up late cs its hot

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i lik it when its cold

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i promise i'll slepe earlier in winter

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i won't get rejected

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i promise i'll do that at the least

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then i'll at least have some hope that my life can go somewhere

valid axle
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today i got drawn pregnant on roblox

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end of story

valid axle
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lol thats crazy

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sucks to be you

valid axle
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i rlly do miss my friend i don't know why she cut me off

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im still watching hxh just cause she suuggsted it

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2 months ago.

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i haven't even touched monster hunter ever since

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because she was the one who wanted me to get the game

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i didn't want anything more than being close friends i figured that out long ago

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i really did like her as a friend nothing more

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she was the first person i've bought a real gift for

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because i was just grateful

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to have someone so great in my life

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bad things happen in life yeah but

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this year has been bad

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really bad

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i dont talk to ppl much about it either

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it all goes here

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i know there are ppl who will say to me how i can talk to them but

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dunno

valid axle
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i'll ask my friend to tell her i said i really liked hxh

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and to thank her for suggesting it

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but also not to tell me what she says

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i don't want to know what she says i just want her to know i am grateful

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I wanted to get into monster hunter and final fantasy

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but now that you're just gone i don't

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feel that anymore

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my chest hurts

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i can't act like i don't care

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it's not just because of her, i've lost so many friends this year

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i don't just lose friends casually

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because they're all close to my best friend

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it just hurts

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i don't even know if i have any "best friends" anym

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i hate how when i associate something with a person, i can't help but think of them when that thing comes to mind

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that's why i still couldn't move on from bella

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everywhere i went its js fucking reminders

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hello

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im gonna be like as direct as i can

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i don't have autism or adhd but i feel like i have both

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i've taken tests and i know that's not enough to prove

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but some traits have stayed with me a while

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but getting a diagnosis is so pricey b_disappointed

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even if i had my life on the line if it was wrong i'd still get a diagnosis for adhd

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i'm sure of it

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i literally cannot fucking concentrate

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i can't concentrate i promise i've tried before

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i don't want to end up like the rest of the guys in my family

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just slopping around

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it's just scary

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all because i don't want to pay so much for a diagnosis that'll take so long anyway

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i'm just

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scared

valid axle
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so this girl im taking to like

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i dont think i annoy her at all

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but i feel like if i join her on roblox every single time she's playing it might be a lil creepy

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😿

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but it might jus be me overthinking it

valid axle
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i need to fix my sleeping NOW

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i cant force myself to sleep argg

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i will soon

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need to write up a poem

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before i sleep

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when was the last tiem i did one i wonder

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nearly a full month ago

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ok i need to get in the right mood first

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so i shall whip out uhm

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good ol

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k it does NOT hit the way it used to

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omfg

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dude

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arggg

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song makes me want to run into someones arms

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but i have to stay cool and mysterious

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ever since i heard one quote it repeats in my head

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time and time again

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it goes like this

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"It was always about you. And then I lost you, my love"

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It as always about you. You were always the center, the arguments were always on your side. It was always. About. You. And then, in a short times notice, you were gone.

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ALL THE LIGHTS WERE ON YOU

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YOU ALWAYS HAD THOSE BEHIND YOU INCASE THINGS WENT WRONG

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And then

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you dissapeared.

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anyways monthly poem tiem huzzah

last crater
valid axle
#

Heartstruck

Welcome to my heart, the key is in your pocket
You’ve come this close, please just unlock it
Make yourself at home, I’ve saved a space for you
A space made of love, love that is so true

Others ripped it apart, like it was soft as feather
But without even trying, you kept it together
My gratitude fills the blood that flows through
Kiss you on the lips, I’d show you what I can do

Spoil you with gifts for generations to come
Love you with every drop of blood that here runs
Be your lover boy, that’s what I truly am
Unless our bond is struck by another man

maybe one day you'll find a real lover
and continue to see me as a brother
but just know I'd let my heart again, be torn
because you're the only girl that I would like to die for.

#

u guys saw the last 4 lines from when i was making a wip

#

i hope one day i can show these to her properly

#

and let it be known they are about her

last crater
#

WOWZIES

#

This is seriously so good

#

Genuinely love it

valid axle
#

thank u twin

valid axle
#

3 days till enrollment

#

how fun

valid axle
#

procrastinating

#

theres so many productive things i can be doing rn

#

like looking at cook books

#

or making my college application

valid axle
valid axle
#

GO MY SCARAB!!

valid axle
#

tried to join like 3 servers on mc

#

got kicked from 1

#

now im just discouraged to play mc

#

i wanna play but ARGGGUROGTKHIRGFNKLFRGNKLHRNKL'THJNMPOTFM

#

fucking hate everything

#

i really miss being loved the way i was

#

things were so perfect

#

and then it went to hell so fast

#

i dont know what i want to do now

#

I MISS BEING LOVED

valid axle
#

TO HEAR YOU CALL MY NAME ID DO IT ALL AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

valid axle
#

i'm scared im js gonna procrastinate through everything

#

and then end up nowhere

valid axle
#

u prolly will

#

but hey at least you'll be alive

valid axle
#

things could be much worse

#

i should b more grateful

valid axle
valid axle
#

for the last two years i've just been haunted by the future

#

living in eternal fear of what's to come

#

and thats not just me yapping

#

gn.

valid axle
#

quite a morning today

#

i saw a false widow on the way upstairs (i did some research and it WAS a false widow)

#

deadliest spider in the country btw

#

even tho its just a bit more than a bee sting

#

i was gonna put him in a jar and take him out but my grandma took the jar and accidentally squished and killed him sad

#

it didn't deserve that one bit

#

spiders shouldn't deserve to die for just living

valid axle
#

so i dont have to enroll till wednesday next week but

#

thats just giving me more time to stress ab it

#

i need to bring a birth certificate and a physical exam certificate

#

but i dont have one

#

i can ask for my results but...

#

i don't know if it's allowed or not

#

so if they NEED an exam certificate then i js cant enroll

#

and im enrolling late so catering might not even be avaliable

#

theres sm that can go wrong

#

nvm i just cant fucking enroll

#

for catering i have to go on the 27th and i'm gonna be on holiday by then

#

i'm acc gonna end up nowhere in life bro cs of this

#

if i can't get into just this one college i dont know what im gonna do

#

genuinely how am i supposed to see a fucking bright side here

#

am i just supposed to enroll to somewhere else??

#

js take me bro this life is too hard for me b_disappointed

#

i already dont have any initiative and im supposed to find somewhere entirely different to enroll?

#

i thought this would be oh idk

#

a good opportunity for me to do something i enjoy

#

but wow guess fucking what my chances at a future have been foiled again

#

i can't focus or study and now i can't even just get into a college to do something i want??

#

im telling u if someone somewhat suicidal went through my life they woulda been gone so many months ago

#

i told my uncle abt it i just

#

dont know who else to tell

#

or anyone else to talk to

#

the friends that i do sometimes vent to

#

they're js

#

never here when i'm having a moment like this

#

they're not a bad friend they're js busy

#

i shouldn't have waited till the last day i should have just fucking planned ahead

#

instead of procrastinating like i always do

#

ffs

#

i don't know what to do anymore

#

i have so much to live for but also so little

#

i've definately drifted further and further from most my close friends

#

just from everyone else being so busy

#

everyone else is changing, maturing and doing better

#

i've been sat in the same hole since may

#

it all could have been prevented if i just didn't procrastinate or hesitate or just be afraid to speak out

#

fuckin hate myself sometimes

#

i want to cry i really do

#

but no matter how much i want to i just can't

#

i wish i could just be something behind humans

#

i don't want to live like this

#

sometimes i dont feel human cs of the way i am

#

it's still summer right

#

i feel so cold

#

my body is js

#

hollow

#

i rlly do feel like an empty shell

#

like a burden to others

#

i'm doing worse than all my friends at school

#

even the ones ive looked down on

valid axle
#

rip my heart out so i can finally be empty

last crater
#

It'll be okay 🫂

valid axle
#

how it feels to see all my classmates doing better

#

ignore the text

#

gonna go back to positivty a bit

#

i am in LOVE with this song

#

found it from a jjba edit

#

AND THEY'RE NOT CLOOOSSEEEEE

valid axle
#

do we fw the avatar

image.png
#

🗣️ 🗣️ we see the username bro

#

gosh thats a lot

image.png
#

came here expecting maybe 5 or 6

#

not that i want the attention but i'm just noticing it now

#

sometimes i feel like im saying shit in here for ppl to see but it really is just a dump from my brain to discord

#

update on my

#

spider situation from this morning

#

i was right!!

#

i found a female in the kitchen

#

so they're ofc looking for a mate

#

we're gonna have to find a male hopefully because my grandma accidentally killed a male b_disappointed

#

im gonna make sure there's none in my room and then sleep peacefully

#

its kinda 1:30am so yeah

#

but gn!!!

valid axle
#

i haven't found her since

#

gulp

#

there might be a small hole in the corner of a wall that she made her home

valid axle
#

yay holiday in 2 days

#

one was not enough

#

i shall show off all my avatars

#

honestly i like all of em

image.png image.png image.png image.png
#

esp the face

last crater
#

They are cool beans

valid axle
#

yes thank u gang

#

anyways

#

gonna put a spoiler cuz this is a teeny tiny bit nsfw

#

||in a server i'm in one of the members was showing a condom they got from the college they just started. hello? are they encouraging their students to just go bang till their brains melt?||

#

ridiculous

#

anyways

#

my bodys so weird bro

#

my hands are like freezing but im this close to drowning in sweat

valid axle
#

i fucking hate people who talk about when they have sex or when they're going to

#

OR EVEN WHEN THEY DID

#

it pisses me off sm

#

and its not a jealousy thing i promise i dont even think ab that with people b_disappointed

#

like bro

#

i dont know how to word it

#

nobody actually gives a FUCK

#

esp sayingit around minors

valid axle
#

one day

#

i'll grow wings and fly higher than any plane has ever been

#

any bird or cloud

#

that will be the last day i'm ever looked down upon by anyone

#

i'll probably get through this

#

i don't know.

#

the problem with the way of the world is that it's unpredictable

#

if any of you guys ask yourselves the same question

#

please know i will care

#

even if we've never talked before

#

my life will be one bit worse if you're not in it

#

please just

#

stay for me

#

i've lost so many people this year (not to suicide but still)

#

my heart simply can't take losing more

#

there was a point in life where i was happy, carefree and was just living

#

every single night i grasp onto that essence of what that used to be

#

and now it's become this

#

we're all here for a reason, in this server and all

#

i promise that it's worth staying around in life

#

please just do well in life

#

don't spend your life trying to survive

#

spend it trying to live.

#

like

#

properly living a life that satisfies you

#

don't be like me

#

i never studied and i never reached out for help

#

and it's gotten me here

#

i care about you so much

#

just please don't go

#

if i really do grow wings one day i would like to touch a star

#

i'll fly for hours and hours on end

#

days or months even

#

just to touch the sun

#

the sun is the only thing that has been there ever since i was born

#

everything else has changed. it hasn't

#

and i'm grateful for that

#

nothing lasts forever but

#

we should be grateful for the stuff that is lasting

#

i like this game

image.png image.png image.png
#

it's so beautiful

#

i'm happy that i'm not afraid to open up here

#

i've never been so excited for winter

#

i want to watch the sunset every day

#

out on a bench

#

anyways

#

here's a cool transition i made

last crater
#

Fire transition twin

valid axle
#

than u TWIN

#

OKAY

#

THINGS WILL PROBABLY BE BAD SOON

#

WHATEVER!!!!

#

as long as im still happy i'll be ok heh

#

i love everyone

#

haha funny brit meme

#

jjk season 2 spoilers ig

#

IM A PROUD BRIT RAHHHHHH

#

I JUST WANT MY CHIPPPSSSS 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️ 🗣️

#

got the manager by the scruff of the neck, i've gone
"GIVE ME MY FUCKING CHIPS"
BANG!!
manager's on the floor, security's come over. i've gone
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF DOOSH
three of em knocked out. police come in, I think
"OH LETS ALL HAVE IT"
all of it fucking like this
"GET YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR"
ran on the van, ive picked up the van by the top and gone
"I JUST WANT MY CHIIIPPPSSS"

#

✍️ 🔥

valid axle
#

i found this funny

image.png
#

that was all

#

ive been on twitter for like 30 mins

#

and i will now sleep

#

lot fo plans tomorrpw

#

#1 wake up between 9-11 to eat and prepare for my dentist

#

#2 arrive home at 2-3pm and play a game with my friend on roblox that he enjoys called decaying winter cuz hes gonna teach me more of the game

#

#3 play with my friend as we do occasionally from like 6 to 7 or 8 or something

#

goodnight!

#

i hope all goes well for you

valid axle
#

morningg

#

god i never wake up this early

#

i had long, long dream

#

something bad happened idk what

#

but we had this leader that was like a giant fish that sat in the middle of the room

#

but after that the dream changed and i went to scotland with my grandma and randomly ran into all my friends there

#

i've never seen someone say yes so fast that's insane

image.png
valid axle
#

me when im a philosipher

image.png
#

i had this super long debate about how "atheists are evil" ??? i'm not gonna go into it dw

#

but it was long

#

IT WAS LONG

image.png
valid axle
#

they fuckin yanked a tooth outta me

#

i had an anaesthesia dw

#

but its gonna hurt like a bitch when it wears off i bet

#

so i can't eat till 5-6pm

#

and i also have to rinse my mouth with salt water after every meal every single day for 3 days

#

thats the first time ive ever had anaesthetisa

#

i need to get braces badly tho

valid axle
#

IT HURTS

valid axle
#

its ok now

last crater
#

Bless 🥹

valid axle
#

hey thats my word

#

see look at me being cool

#

influencing the young

#

spreading kindness and whimsicalness

last crater
valid axle
valid axle
#

idk what to eat mane

valid axle
#

it's not bleeding as much

#

that's cool

#

i'm gonna have some chicken tikka masala

#

because i dont wanna chew too much

#

i see you lil bro

#

ever since discord made me get notifications for reactions

#

ive been in action faster than ever

#

anyway

#

i finally get to eat after only having breakfast

#

(did not get a choice btw)

#

ykw im now realising i used to deal with this hundreds of times

#

not hundreds but

#

i always had teeth bleeding and being lose like this

#

whats the difference between then and now

#

im not gonna eat with my right side but still

valid axle
#

@haughty nova yay another

#

this ones gonna be good i know it

#

THEIR MARKET VALUE WENT DOWN BY 12 BILLION DOLLARS

#

HOLY SHITTTT

valid axle
#

ok so the most important stuff to look forward to is chris hansen is involving himself in the situation now

#

and also wants to involve schlep in his case as well

#

✊

last crater
#

#freeschlep

valid axle
#

YES

valid axle
#

worth it.

20250822_203249.jpg
#

she fits in like a lego piece

valid axle
#

its so fucking stupid i love it

valid axle
#

gm

#

was up until

#

4am

valid axle
#

so roblox is like crashin g rn

#

theres a solid like

#

30-40 million active players

#

because grow a garden and steal a brainrot (the 2 biggest games rn) just updated

#

anyways i js realised

#

lookalikes fr

image.png latest.png
#

u see the vision

#

good good

#

jjk manga spoilers

#

love the wording of this though

#

"i ask myself 'how am i still alive' and all I can think is sheer luck. the stakes have risen, but I am calm as can ever be"

#

the thing i love about manga authors is the way they write dialogue with characters

#

they put so much detail into it

valid axle
#

rereading chainsaw man

valid axle
#

finished

#

shit was good

#

shit was GREAT

#

WE IGNORE THE NSFW PANELS

#

WE IGNORE ALL THE FREAKY SHIT BUT IT ACTUALLY IS SUCH A DEEP STORY

valid axle
#

ex genuinel;y has to fuck off

#

i was being nice and not blocking her just to see if she'd leave me alone

#

and now shes js nagging at my stories

#

im js gonna block her now bro

valid axle
#

me cuz i have to rinse my mouth with salt water soon

#

to prevent infection

valid axle
#

hi

#

oh i forgot about that

#

oops

valid axle
#

ITS GENUYINELY SO GROSS

#

IMK GONNA THROW UP THINKING AB IT

#

AND I DONT THROW UP EVER

#

i like twitch and gag everytime i remmeber what salt water tasted like

#

did it

#

didnt even stay in my mouth for 5 seconds

#

the moment i tasted the salt

#

EUGHHHHH

#

OUT

#

anyways

#

back to important stuff

#

im going on holiday tmr with my mom, her mom and my cousin

#

my cousin's like 11 and we dont get to see him much 😞

#

so its a good thing we're bringing him!!

valid axle
#

need to shave today as wel

#

my face

#

gotta look presentable

valid axle
#

i hate when my uncle makes fun of me or acts like it was my fault when i cut myself

#

like if anyone's embarrassed about it please know i cut myself every time

#

and its not my fault

#

most the time its acne

#

yeah im wearing 3 plasters rn but

#

cant be helped

valid axle
valid axle
#

feeling evil

valid axle
#

i've gotten over my anger issues and i'm actually rlly proud for it

#

i spent about 30 minutes fighting the same guy, dying, coming back over and over

#

and he was being really toxic talking about how im just horrible

#

and too predictable

#

but i stayed calm the whole time 😋

#

and he left

#

so i won heh

#

this is jhs a fighting game also

#

i'm very

#

calm and collected

#

matured even

valid axle
#

this year has just been sad, looking back

#

i lost 3 friends that i considered so valuable to me just because of their friend who's a literal perv

#

including the guy himself

#

and i lost one of the best relationships i've ever been in

#

but i do like to think these barriers are a sign of that i'm where i want to be

#

i asked for a relationship, so the universe gave me a difficult breakup to see if i could handle it

#

i asked for more friends that i can hold close to my heart, and they were taken away once they were in my heart

#

whether it's a sign of i'm where i want to be or that i'm just unlucky i'll never rlly know

last crater
#

Maybe it was to help make you stronger hugs

#

Either way things will get better !!

#

Stay strong soldier 💪🏻

valid axle
#

i've been through the same thing enough times

last crater
#

Yeah well universe is a bitch

#

So you gotta be the bigger person and ho through it

#

That's all we can do at least

valid axle
last crater
#

It gets better tho

#

All this isn't for nothing

valid axle
#

at some point

#

they were rlly good friends to me so it is just a bit sad to see them go the other way

last crater
#

Mhm I understand

#

If you wanna talk ab it I'm here for you tho

valid axle
#

yes ofc teto_heart

#

lotta the time i dont really know what to say anymore

#

its just the same things over and over

last crater
#

It's alr

valid axle
last crater
#

Maybe it because that's the biggest thing bothering you

#

Maybe when you move on from that thing although it's hard, maybe you'll finally feel at least a little better

valid axle
#

ive already basically moved on from my ex, for a while i would be rlly tempted to go back just from small things that reminded me of her but i'm definately far from that now

#

and having someone else i like has also helped me move on

valid axle
#

because i didnt get a chance to message her or anything

last crater
#

I hope it does

#

:).

#

Things will work out no matter what

valid axle
last crater
valid axle
#

i'll have my way one day

#

🕊️

#

gn

valid axle
#

left a note on insta saying how she probably wouldnt reject me if i asked but i'm just afraid

#

her best friend messaged me saying to js do it

#

me when im being set up for a successful relationship

#

she's perfect she rlly is

#

literally her

#

esp when she does makeup

#

she does a lotta random stuff as well as gothic

#

i would show it but i dont wanna put her face on a public server sorry b_disappointed

#

gotta gatekeep

#

ANYWAYS NEW TOPIC

valid axle
#

there we go

#

hi guys

#

i was playing cobblemon with shaders yesterday on minecraft (cobblemon is a pokemon mod) and i realised how good it looked and just had to put my photography skills to work

#

COOL RIGHT

#

guys please one at a time

#

oh im too flattered

valid axle
#

hasdnt even been 20 minutes and my mum got like 4 bottles of ||alcohol|| already

last crater
valid axle
#

💪

valid axle
#

on my soul im gonna ask her shortly when I get back from ny holiday

#

I have to

#

the setup is so perfect

#

I AM DESERVING OF LOVE ✊️🔥

last crater
#

Say it louder for the voices in the back !!

valid axle
#

I DESERVE TO BE LOVED BY A PRETTY AND CARING GIRL ✊️✊️🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥

last crater
#

EXACTLY

valid axle
#

she knowsss

Screenshot_20250825_215948_Instagram.jpg
valid axle
#

she's all I've been thinking abt

#

the things we can do together

#

so many amazing things

#

but I have to enjoy my holiday first

#

so I'll do that

#

if you guys haven't plz listen to punkrocker

#

it's a song

#

rlly good one

#

okbye

valid axle
#

yk how trains have 2 seaters an occasional 4 seaters

#

there's two diff 4 seaters in front of us

#

both of them each have 1 person sitting there

#

no luggage just a fucking BAG and some food

#

BUDDY WE'RE A GROUP OF 4 WITH 2 LUGGAGE BAGS

#

HAVE SOME DECENCY

#

hi gjys

valid axle
#

I'm gonna start writing a thing for her cs I'm not asking someone out in person bro

#

ffs

#

I CANNOT

#

but it's okay

valid axle
#

her best friend is supporting me right now cs I sent her everything

#

how ibproperly feel

#

if I don't get a yes u guys gonna know 🤞

last crater
#

Rooting for you

valid axle
#

I waited and waited

#

and my prayers were recieved

#

good things will happen to u guys I promise

#

if they can happen to a hopeless pos like me them they can to you too

valid axle
#

today we're gonna go down to the sea

last crater
#

YAYY

#

Congratsiesssss

valid axle
#

she's a real sweetheart I'll keep talking abt it when I yet the time

valid axle
#

this is gonna go great

#

she never tells me when she comes and goes, not in a cruel way she js doesn't socialise

#

but she's going to try

#

I don't want to escalate things too fast even tho I do love her

#

like this relationship I've literally dreamed of

#

I still can't fully process the fact that I'm with her now

#

cs she is amazing

#

like it feels like we're still js friends

#

It's like I'm still trying to get with her but

#

I've already hit that island I js don't realise

valid axle
#

I sent her a nice long message before going to sleep and I got 2 notifications from her

#

I wonder what she said

#

yay

#

good stuff

#

anyways

#

today we are going on a tour bus then a boat

last crater
#

Have fun 🔥

valid axle
#

last night we talked about lobsters and crabs

#

and today we talked about squids and octopi

#

the boat were on doesnt have any room inside so we're out in the wind and cold

#

I got her a necklace with her initial

#

and I got a green crystal keyring for my grandma

#

I gotta bring something back for her and I can't bring a magnet for the 3rd time

valid axle
#

hi

#

went on bus and boat yesterday

#

my cousin won't stop watching squid game on the air bnb tv

#

I don't know how he can watch it he's 11

#

we've seen basically all 3 seasons in reverse order

#

going home today though

#

well back to my moms

#

I need to get home asap tho so I can enroll to college

#

anyways bout the new relationship

#

I think it's gonna be rlly slow but also gonna go well

#

she's been love bombed sm so I won't do anything of the sort

#

one step at a time

#

🙂‍↕️