Johnnies mindscape wooooowww | Huddle | Page 7

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:09 AM

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😭😭😭😭😭

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AND THIS

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LMMFAIHIICCVVC

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LOGAN TOU DONT UNDERSTAND

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THISBIS SO FUCKING AWEOMSE

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:10 AM

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solemn trout

DON'T CALL ME OUT

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:10 AM

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😭😭

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:10 AM

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😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:10 AM

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😭

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:11 AM

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😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:11 AM

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😭😭😭😭

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MOOBS

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I CANT FUCKING BELIGE IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING SO HARD AT FHIS

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:14 AM

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😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:16 AM

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bright sun 😭😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭

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THIS ONES YOU

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bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:17 AM

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😭😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:19 AM

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😭😭😭

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NOT GONNA DHOW U THIS ONE BUT IT BASICALLY SAYS “do not mstrbt to the police”😭

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THIS SHIT IS NOT INSPIRING 😭

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😭

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“wouldnt it be interesting if big pharma was exterminated?”

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i fucking love this

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:23 AM

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😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:26 AM

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“YOUR SEX DRIVE IS FROM HELL”
-johnny

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 2:27 AM

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Best quote ever

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Don't have to call me out like that tho😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 2:28 AM

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HTEGEVVCFHV😭

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 3:54 AM

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solemn trout HTEGEVVCFHV😭

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 4:19 AM

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bright sun WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

IDK I JUST LAUGHED AND TYPED

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 4:30 AM

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solemn trout IDK I JUST LAUGHED AND TYPED

I THOUGHT IT WAS ANOTHER STUPID ACRONYM 😭

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 10:37 PM

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uuuuggghffgcccc mutherfukerrrrrrrtr vgcvvdbdhshbsvvc

work was HORRIBLE today

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and i didnt get off sooner :<

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hes missed me so much
And i do
I literally cried during work in front of everyone because i knew we wouldn’t have time when i get off

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3 times he cried
because of the fact of our timezone difference

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i hate it so much

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 11:08 PM

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solemn trout 3 times he cried because of the fact of our timezone difference

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 11:35 PM

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bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:10858398...

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

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it just absolutely blows that I cant do anything about it

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time difference nor my work schedule

bright sun Jul 30, 2025, 11:36 PM

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solemn trout it just absolutely blows that I cant do anything about it

It's an issue time will solve my friend

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Not only will you two be able to plan around it better as time goes on
But at some point there won't be a time difference anymore

solemn trout Jul 30, 2025, 11:38 PM

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chu_hug
and im gonna fight for that, even if it comes at a cost
My future is destined

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i just wish i could somehow magically make things better..
but for now i just have to appreciate what little I have, and make the most of it

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 1:47 AM

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vro i keep sweating all the damn time

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even in the shower

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 2:14 AM

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“You're an interesting species.
An interesting mix.
You're capable of such beautiful dreams,
and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone.
In all our searching, the only thing we've found
that makes the emptiness bearable,
is each other.”

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 2:30 AM

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LOWKI

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GOD

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BRO

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CS2

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😭

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never trust a bitch with red hair crying

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HOYL FUCKING SHIT

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64 HSP

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11.3 kd😭😭😭

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:07 AM

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solemn trout never trust a bitch with red hair<:crying:1366924417573322944>

THEY ALWAYS MEAN ASF

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:26 AM

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bright sun THEY ALWAYS MEAN ASF

AND SMART ASF

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LIKE

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IN A MANIPULATIVE WAY😭

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:30 AM

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solemn trout IN A MANIPULATIVE WAY😭

EXACTLY

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:32 AM

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dude holy shit

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i just had a wave of nostalgia

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remember skelly the pirate

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:33 AM

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Ya

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:33 AM

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he was an old member of the server

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i had so many good memories man

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that guy was the best

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:34 AM

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Trueeeeeee

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:34 AM

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always talking about bilge

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remember making THIS for him such a long time ago 😭😭😭 he absolutely loved it

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:35 AM

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😭 😭 😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:37 AM

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top 3 guys from og huddle

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Skelly
Hero
Monkeman

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:38 AM

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I remember Skelly and Monkeman

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:39 AM

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great friends

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i honestly wish i didnt leave the server when it was still normal

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:40 AM

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chu_hug

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Tbf
We might not be friends then
Idk
Yk life works is weird ways and the smallest changes have big outcomes

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:41 AM

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it does, nothing ever works the way you expect it to

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Life

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dsspite that

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alot of the time i wish i could’ve met you sooner

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:43 AM

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It was one long winding road of coincidences that lead me to my boyfriend. Joining a server from another server from another server from another server. Befriending one girl in that server who just so happened to be dating him. Then I got close to him. Then he broke up with her and I waited just long enough to ask him out so it wasn't too soon. And a whole lot of other shit in-between

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Three years of coincidences lead me here

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Including to being your friend

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:46 AM

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well maybe your bf, and perhaps me were destined in your life, but regardless, coincidence or not im happy and glad to be here this very moment.

also i dont recall the first times we even talked, like the start of our friendship

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could go through old chat logs but thatd take a while

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:47 AM

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It was very slow at first tbf

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Just small interactions in-between everyone saying Johnbaseball99 whenever you talked lmfao

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:48 AM

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lmao yeah i was a plague

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:48 AM

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Then we started talking a little bit more here and at some point you offered or I asked or sum that would up with you drawing my Sona. Then during the process of my Sona we started getting closer

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:49 AM

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which happened to take a couple months to do😭that was on me

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I am VERY slow when it comes to new pressures like that

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:49 AM

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Tbf I didn't mind lmfao
You're the first person I've ever gotten a commission from

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:50 AM

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im glad and honored to be the first
and I’ll continue my services :3 always free

burnt snow Jul 31, 2025, 4:50 AM

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:3

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:50 AM

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I'm still so appreciative of everything you've made for me btw 😭

burnt snow Jul 31, 2025, 4:51 AM

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https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1393831546481545219/1393836148639531028/cat-funny.webp

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:51 AM

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hi broden

burnt snow Jul 31, 2025, 4:51 AM

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Hai :3

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:51 AM

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:3

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:51 AM

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burnt snow https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1393831546481545219/1393836148639531028/c...

Bluds just watching our heart to heart 😭

burnt snow Jul 31, 2025, 4:51 AM

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bright sun Bluds just watching our heart to heart 😭

I just got here :3

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:52 AM

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bright sun I'm still so appreciative of everything you've made for me btw 😭

tyankiessss that means alot to me
everythings free yknow, just ask and you got it :3

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:54 AM

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solemn trout tyankiessss that means alot to me everythings free yknow, just ask and you got ...

If I ever ask for anything remember there's no pressure. The only thing I had a semi timeline on was the anniversary art(WHICH IS STILL AWESOME THANKIES) and I don't have anything else like that tbh. Anything else I ask will be on your own time. Like yk I want one when I'm 18 and one for my boyfriend of his Sona. But those are all on your time and no pressure related to getting them done

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:57 AM

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i got alota time
Sorta..minus work and stuff
which blows, but i can always find free space to get sum in, but not now tho hehe

Im experimenting with my art a little, trying out new brushes and rendering styles
also do plan on going allout on the art of your bf’s sona

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 4:58 AM

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Considering he loves what you did with it in the anniversary art. I don't doubt you'll kill it Johnny

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 4:59 AM

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Thabkiesssss
btw i mean like, absolutely nasty kinda all out. Like one of the artworks i put the most of my effort in :3

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purely cause i know how much itll mean to both you and him

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:00 AM

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You'll do awesome.

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And ofc yk the one I wanna get when I'm eighteen

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:00 AM

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true

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:00 AM

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(again on your own time)

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(and if you want to)

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:01 AM

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well cant really answer as of right now😭just wait a couple months and i might start on it, depending if you still have it in mind

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:02 AM

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Ofc ofc 😭😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:03 AM

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then i willz :3

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when the time comss

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:03 AM

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It'll com

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:03 AM

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hesRight

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:03 AM

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Thats a clever joke

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C'mon now

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:04 AM

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what are you foreshadowing

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:04 AM

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Commission
Come

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:04 AM

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oooh

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oh

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:04 AM

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solemn trout what are you foreshadowing

YK

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:04 AM

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nvm

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😭

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COMMISION

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COMMISSION

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GOT IT

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:04 AM

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solemn trout nvm

No that part was intentional too😭

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Little triple there 😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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brainrot

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I GET IT NOW

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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I love being a song writer so I can come up with shit like that

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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I UNDERSTAND

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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😭

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We got the come
The commission
And other

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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ow my ears

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uh

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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solemn trout ow my ears

Wha

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:05 AM

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bright sun We got the come The commission And other

CCCP

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the come the commision
The com(but pronounced uhhh)

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then the P

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:06 AM

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😭

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You got it

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😭😭😭

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I'm laughing way too hard at this 😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:07 AM

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P is for p(art)

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:07 AM

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Truly
Definitely
100%

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For sure

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Fr

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Ong

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:07 AM

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100000

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mhm

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yes

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Ong

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Fr

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Fs

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:07 AM

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I'm laughing way too hard rn 😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:07 AM

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jellybab

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:08 AM

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😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:08 AM

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i actually did not mean to say that

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😭

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k

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cool

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gotit

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Yeeahhhh

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woo

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Fr

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Fr

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Ong

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:08 AM

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TF is a Jellbab

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:09 AM

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IDK

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IT WAS SOMETHING

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EXPLICIT

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I CAME UP WITH

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:09 AM

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WHAT

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:09 AM

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i am a genus

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geniugs

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genugs

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fuck

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genius

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:10 AM

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GENUGS

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:10 AM

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WHAT

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:10 AM

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:11 AM

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oh i have a very cool joke

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:11 AM

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Let's hear it

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:11 AM

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WAIT NOT HERE

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:11 AM

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DMS

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😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:12 AM

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something i came up with about the whole im a genius thing

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:12 AM

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Beautiful

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:20 AM

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bright sun Beautiful

out of dms its ROTTEN there😭

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ive plagued

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:20 AM

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😭

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ITS LIKE A POISON ROUGE BUILD 😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:21 AM

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DONT BRING DIABLO INTO THIS😭

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:21 AM

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😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:22 AM

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also logan if u havent already theres a.. very INTENSE superise awaiting in my art journal

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:44 AM

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bright sun 😭😭😭😭

also Logan ik some time ago you said you really wanted to gossip about him

go ahead :3

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idk much else to do anyway
im in bed and my body’s wrecked

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:48 AM

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solemn trout also Logan ik some time ago you said you really wanted to gossip about him go ...

This shows how gay I am
I love gossip
ANYWHO
I have some questions lmfao

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:49 AM

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mhmm

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:49 AM

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FIRST
Basic
Is he a fuwwy :3

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:49 AM

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yes

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:49 AM

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YES

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Second
Is he straight up gay or is he like pan or sum

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 5:51 AM

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just straight up

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 5:51 AM

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A fully gay relationship
Cute

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Third
Genuinely how did you wind up with him?
He ask you or you ask him. He start it. Ect

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:00 AM

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other server, i wasn’t doing too well with my hallucinations and decided to chat there. I mentioned how i wasn’t feeling good and he popped in my dm’s asking if im okay
Turns out he has depression too so we kinda just clicked mentally.
Eventually started to tell me how im the one of the only persons who stayed after i said i had to go away for a minute. Eventually leeading him to hinting, which i had ABSOLUTELY ZERO awareness of lmao😭then straight up told me he really wants to start a relationship with me, ironically speaking since at the time he already had a boyfriend, assuming he broke up with him and asked me out. And whole lotta stuff yadayada

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literally keeps calling me these cute over-exaggerated names and its killing me every time

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:01 AM

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Ok first of all

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That's adorable

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Second

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WHY DID WE LOWK HAVE THE SAME EXPERIENCE WITH OUR BFS
My boyfriend was COMPLETELY clueless at the hints I was dropping too 😭😭😭

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You two sound so cute together tho

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:04 AM

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bright sun WHY DID WE LOWK HAVE THE SAME EXPERIENCE WITH OUR BFS My boyfriend was COMPLETEL...

coincidences
Just as you said before:3

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:06 AM

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bright sun You two sound so cute together tho

its reoccurring that he keeps threatening to pick me up

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Since he is 6 foot ofc. And presses 50 pounds heavier than my own weight

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And being fucking 5,3

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Is fucking criminal

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:07 AM

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It makes you very benchable

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:08 AM

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i am not a barbell

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it suprises me that’s the 4th i have to say that 😭

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:09 AM

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😭😭😭😭😭

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I also have another question
What's he like?
Like personality wise. I imagine somewhat similar to yours

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But opposites attract

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:13 AM

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its sorta difficult to put a personality into words for me but, like soft but also dom, sweetly possessive, deeply affectionate and whatnot

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:14 AM

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Actually sounds like a perfect pairing for you

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How much did you two interact before he asked you out

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:16 AM

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barely a week😭

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:17 AM

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Lmfao

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:17 AM

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but every day from when he asked how I was feeling

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:18 AM

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You two sound lowk perfect for each other man

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Like a genuinely perfect match

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:20 AM

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chu_hug

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:20 AM

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chu_hug

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I'm so happy you found love Johnny
You deserve it

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:25 AM

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chu_hug thank you so much
Im so happy too

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:30 AM

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solemn trout its sorta difficult to put a personality into words for me but, like soft but al...

sweetly possessive in a deeply affectionate way*

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:30 AM

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I understand what you meant

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:30 AM

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bopbopyesyes

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was that all of your questions ? :3

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 6:31 AM

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For now
I'll inevitably have more lmfao

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 6:32 AM

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for now…

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:3

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 11:07 PM

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god dammit all

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work was fucking hell today

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burned myself 5 times and my feet are starting to feel numb

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plus i didn’t get any time to talk to him

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Boss caught me sneaking last time and now i cant risk anything or my ass is done

bright sun Jul 31, 2025, 11:30 PM

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chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Jul 31, 2025, 11:45 PM

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bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:12 AM

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lowki what the fuck

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its like 11pm rn

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heard some people talking about outside and then RAPID ASS FUCKING sounds then nothin

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Im hoping its jot what i think it is

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Cus that was really fucking loud

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and close to my house

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:15 AM

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solemn trout Cus that was really fucking loud

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:15 AM

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i can hear car doors

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fuck

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hold on ima turn my lights off

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:16 AM

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Ok
Please be safe

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:18 AM

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yeah lights are off now im safe

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2 more shots just got out

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:19 AM

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Are you ok?

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I'm more than a bit worried

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:19 AM

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im ok, im just a little scared
doors and windows are locked

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:20 AM

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Ok
Just please stay safe
Do you have any idea what's going on?

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:21 AM

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i will i promise
I dont really know what the hell just happened

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but i see the hazards on a car going off, like say 50 feet away from me or something

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INSIDE. im not outside

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fuck man
Im actually so stupid
So fucking stupid
what the fucking fuck. Im actually so braindead
ITS JUST A COUPLE OF FUCKING DUDES REPARING AN ELECTRIC POLE

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im sorry logan

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im really really sorry

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god damn it all

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:25 AM

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Lmfao
Dw
Dw
Dw

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I'm just glad you're ok

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Idc about you worrying me
You're alright
Plus it's pretty funny tbf

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:25 AM

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i legit thought someone just got murdered

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and took off

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:26 AM

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chu_hug

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I'm just glad you're ok

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That's all that matters to me

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:26 AM

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chu_hug

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:27 AM

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That's what anxiety does to you Johnny lmfao

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:28 AM

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im scared of mechanics now

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next one i see one im locking their ass up badskull

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:29 AM

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😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:29 AM

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bitches also the reason my wifi got cut out for like 10 minutes

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deserved

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:30 AM

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😭😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:30 AM

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Post crisis pic

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:31 AM

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Why does my brother have the exact TV you have 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:31 AM

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maybe we are
Brothers badskull

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:32 AM

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We'd get in so much trouble 😭

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Well

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Possible correction

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I'd get in so much trouble

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You'd be the one bailing me out 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:33 AM

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DAMN IT BRO THOSE FUXKING ME HANOCS

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MECHANICS

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:33 AM

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ME HANOCS

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:33 AM

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My wifi is still out

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SGGGHHCVVVVCCX

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:33 AM

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😭😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:34 AM

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they done fucking killed my youtube when i thought someone just got fucking shot😭

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those whores

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MY YOUTUBE

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RAGHHGVVBCHCBXVCX

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:34 AM

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😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:35 AM

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LOWKI im actually pissed off cus of the wifi thing😭

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:36 AM

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😭

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This is a very eventful night it seems 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:37 AM

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it sounds like i care about my wifi more than my own life 😭

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WHICH IS LIKE 35% ACCURATE

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:38 AM

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"DAMNIT MY WIFI IS OUT. I COULD'VE DIED BUT THE FUCJING WIFI"

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:38 AM

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MY WIFI IS DEAD. WHAT THE FUCK! WIFI NO!

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:39 AM

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"i may have a gun to my head but at least I'm dying with entertainment"

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:39 AM

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I HAVE NO ENTERTAINMENT

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YOUTUBE IS FUCKING DEAD

#

i cant die like this
I MUST PERSIST

#

PLEASE WIFI

#

NO FUCK

#

FUCK

#

FUCK YOU

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:41 AM

#

NO
ANYTHING BUR THE WIFI
TAKE THE CHILDREN
BUT NOT THE WIFI

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:41 AM

#

“No signal on server”

#

FUCK YOU

#

RAHHHHHH

#

ISEEYOU

#

TRGHFFGvvccx

#

I HATE YOU WIFI

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:45 AM

#

https://tenor.com/view/spongebob-squarepants-patrick-star-me-with-slow-wi-fi-wi-fi-sad-gif-5569380

Tenor

Slow Wifi - Slow

▶ Play video

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:46 AM

#

those mf’ing mechanics or sum shit actually just sabotaged my internet

#

im actually pissed tf off rn
This is the first time I’ve ever experienced this low of a point in my wifi

#

i gotta use my fucking HOTSPOT to watch youtube on my tv now

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:48 AM

#

😭

#

Bro would NOT survive the apocalypse

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:48 AM

#

yeshoney

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:48 AM

#

What would I ever do without Kentucky Ballistics

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:49 AM

#

my poor poor data plan…

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:49 AM

#

It's like one night dude
You'll be fine 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:49 AM

#

yooo I HATE EVERYTHING RAHHH stupid wifi

#

one night is impossible!

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:50 AM

#

screech

#

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:50 AM

#

nonbinary

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

WHY IS THERE A RANDOM NONBINARY FLAG 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

GO VIKINGS RAHHH

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

THE VIKINGS ARE GENDER NON-CONFORMING

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

lesbian

#

trans

#

gay

#

nonbinary

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:52 AM

#

solemn trout <:nonbinary:1333782656852168725>

THESE ARE FROM CARSONS DISCORD?

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:52 AM

#

intersex

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:52 AM

#

bright sun THESE ARE FROM CARSONS DISCORD?

yuh

#

i have good friends there😭BUT I ADVISE YOU DONT JOIN CUS THE COMMUNITY IS ACTUALLY GENUINELY SO ASS

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:53 AM

#

Ik
The community sucks balls

#

(aniagw)

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:53 AM

#

LIKE ALL THEY TALK ABOUT IS DICKS AND EHATEVER😭

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:53 AM

#

solemn trout LIKE ALL THEY TALK ABOUT IS DICKS AND EHATEVER😭

WAIT WHAT
HOW DO I JOI-

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:54 AM

#

but the art community there is pretty awesome

#

thats where i started getting friends

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:54 AM

#

ahem
Ignore my previous message. Was a tad impulsive

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:55 AM

#

bright sun WAIT WHAT HOW DO I JOI-

NOT COMPELTELY
ITS BASICALLY LIKE A THEME PARK BUT FROM ALL 7 LAYERS OF BIBLICAL HELL

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:55 AM

#

😭😭😭😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:55 AM

#

last message i saw someone send in mainchat was “god i love my fucking awesome hat”

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:56 AM

#

Well that doesn't sound too horrible
I love my hats 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:56 AM

#

😭

#

“you WILL be OBESE and you will LIKE IT”

#

WHAT THE FUCK

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:56 AM

#

😭

#

😭😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:58 AM

#

literally all this one moderator does is say “balls” in the server every fucking day😭

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:58 AM

#

Wha😭😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:58 AM

#

carsons server is also where the whole johnbaseball99 bit came from

#

Im like an icon there

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:59 AM

#

😭😭

#

Bro the Messiah 😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 5:00 AM

#

NOW THE PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT WHICH TOY STORY CHARACTER THEY ARE 😭😭😭😭

#

AND THEYRE FUCKING ARGUING ABOUT IT

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 5:00 AM

#

😭😭

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 5:05 AM

#

dude fuck yes

#

Youtube is working

#

using hotspot

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 5:06 AM

#

W

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 6:26 AM

#

fuck man
Mood swings

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 7:35 AM

#

I know it sounds so fucking stupid but im starting to feel like his interest in me is dwindling
I really hope not

Could just be me being over sensitive again…im not used to relationships and stuff, not used to being responded to plainly after 10 minutes each message
Maybe today was just overwhelming for me.
I hope he’s not overwhelmed too, i know he’s hiding his feelings, and im being super open and caring about it without pressure.
But I’ll just wait, and stay with him, for as long as he’ll keep me.

#

Im not going to force anything. Not gonna force him to tell me his feelings or anything

#

But i just wanna help out

#

Im vaguely aware of his depression

#

im not gonna say “i dont know if I could even be alive without him”

I think that way but i know thats not me.
I can feel my heart feeling so heavy right now, and the thought of him leaving me is somehow ok, but terrifying.

Like my heart is bracing for something

#

Ive never experienced a break up..

#

this the first ever

#

I hate how my mind works

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 3:24 PM

#

Idk man

#

at least hes a little more responsive when I woke up earlier

#

Im just worried

#

and scared

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 4:27 PM

#

solemn trout and scared

Remember to take a deep breath and stay calm when thinking like that. It's normal to worry like this in a relationship. Trust me I know 😭
Everything will be ok. You already said the thoughts of him leaving are ok. So you already got that down. Just breathe. Let everything happen. It'll all work out eventually.

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 4:39 PM

#

bright sun Remember to take a deep breath and stay calm when thinking like that. It's norma...

chu_hug chu_hug

#

thank you so much fren,
It’s just that this is my first ever and I don’t want to lose anything. I don’t want to add to the pile of shit i have in the past and be lonely again.
If things did suddenly change..youd be the only one I could even turn to

#

but nothing too alarming has happened yet

bright sun Aug 1, 2025, 6:41 PM

#

solemn trout thank you so much fren, It’s just that this is my first ever and I don’t want to...

Remember ill always be here. Anytime you need me.

solemn trout Aug 1, 2025, 6:43 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 2, 2025, 11:01 PM

#

man work was fucking horrible today

#

boss was upset and being a bitch

#

FOUND OUT I DONT HAVE BREAKS ANY FUCKING MORE

#

:(

bright sun Aug 2, 2025, 11:01 PM

#

solemn trout FOUND OUT I DONT HAVE BREAKS ANY FUCKING MORE

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 2, 2025, 11:02 PM

#

mannn guhhh like just why

#

why dont i have break

solemn trout Aug 2, 2025, 11:02 PM

#

bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:10858398...

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

#

green

left parrot Aug 3, 2025, 2:03 PM

#

solemn trout FOUND OUT I DONT HAVE BREAKS ANY FUCKING MORE

I think that's something thats required

solemn trout Aug 4, 2025, 5:44 PM

#

fuck

#

Im a horrible human

bright sun Aug 4, 2025, 5:56 PM

#

solemn trout Im a horrible human

chu_hug
Are you ok Johnny?

solemn trout Aug 4, 2025, 6:43 PM

#

nvm…

#

-# i don’t wanna talk about it

bright sun Aug 4, 2025, 7:52 PM

#

solemn trout -# i don’t wanna talk about it

chu_hug chu_hug
Thats ok
You don't have to
Just remember im always here if you need to

solemn trout Aug 4, 2025, 9:18 PM

#

fuck its worse..

solemn trout Aug 4, 2025, 9:38 PM

#

i dont think i can take this

#

i cant stop shaking

#

im trying so hard not to have a panic attack

bright sun Aug 4, 2025, 9:41 PM

#

solemn trout im trying so hard not to have a panic attack

chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 4, 2025, 9:42 PM

#

i just can’t

#

this is too much for me

#

i genuinely don’t know what to do

#

anymore

#

things just keep getting worse

#

i don’t know if i even have the capacity to handle everything i handle

#

fuck

#

im scared

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 4:37 AM

#

fuck man

#

fuck

#

Fucj

#

Fuck

#

fucking fuck

#

no…

#

no no no..

#

Im shaking so bad

#

i can’t believe this is happening

#

It might not be and im just overreacting…

#

fuck…

#

im sorry…

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 4:43 AM

#

solemn trout i can’t believe this is happening

John

#

Talk to me man

#

Whats going on

#

John

#

Man

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 4:44 AM

#

solemn trout im sorry…

Your kinda freaking me out man

#

Talking like this

#

I pray that you are just sleeping

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 4:47 AM

#

im sorry for freaking you out

#

my sleep is gone

#

i dont know anymore

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 4:48 AM

#

solemn trout im sorry for freaking you out

It’s okay just talk to me man

#

Whats going on dude

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

its alot..

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

We're both here man. Always

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 4:51 AM

#

solemn trout its alot..

Let it all out dude

#

I’m here to listen

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 4:52 AM

#

Same

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 4:52 AM

#

Yeah,

#

We just wanna help you out

#

You are a friend after all

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 5:06 AM

#

theres nothing more i can do then just being there

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 5:07 AM

#

solemn trout theres nothing more i can do then just being there

Just hang in there Johnny. It'll be ok. I'm sure he's alright. I'm positive. We're here with you till then. Always. You're giving it your all and that all you can do. And its enough. He'll be ok.

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 5:07 AM

#

I understand where you are coming from here man. I truly do. It’s terrifying. I know man, in your position at the moment yhe most you can donis wait and hope. I’ll be praying for you both hugs

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 5:08 AM

#

Wait
Have hope
We're here till then always

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 5:08 AM

#

bright sun Wait Have hope We're here till then always

This

#

What Logan is saying

#

We are here for you man

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 5:08 AM

#

I'm sure he'll be ok. I'm positive about it

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 5:09 AM

#

I imagine the same

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 5:10 AM

#

It'll be ok Johnny
Just have hope and remember to breathe ok. You're giving it everything you have and that's enough

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 6:18 AM

#

thank you both

#

I don’t know what to do or say

#

Nothings changed

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 6:22 AM

#

solemn trout Nothings changed

Just let us know if you need anything. We're here as best we can be. I'm hoping for you Johnny

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 6:25 AM

#

hugs

#

Im scared to fall asleep

#

I’ll let u know if I need anything..

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 6:27 AM

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 3:06 PM

#

it’s been an hour

#

I woke up an hour ago and he hasn’t got on

#

provably at work…

#

Please wake up

#

Please

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 6:17 PM

#

Hi John. I just came by to say that I hope everything is okay. And that although we are not that close I want you to know that I'm here anytime you need me. And that no matter what happens in life everything will be better. You just have to keep hoping. Take care of yourself! hugs

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 10:01 PM

#

burnt snow Hi John. I just came by to say that I hope everything is okay. And that although...

hugs

#

im sorry for worrying y’all so much

#

im starting to think things are getting a little better

#

he still feels so bad but im still trying

#

thank you all so damn much

#

Idk how to thank you guys enough

burnt snow Aug 5, 2025, 10:05 PM

#

solemn trout Idk how to thank you guys enough

You don't need to thank us. You just gotta focus on yourself man, we're all here for you hugs

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 10:07 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 10:08 PM

#

solemn trout im starting to think things are getting a little better

It'll all be Oki Johnny

solemn trout Aug 5, 2025, 10:54 PM

#

bright sun It'll all be Oki Johnny

chu_hug

#

i still feel so thankful but so scared about the fact

bright sun Aug 5, 2025, 11:05 PM

#

solemn trout i still feel so thankful but so scared about the fact

You just gotta believe and hope ok. That's what'll get you through it

solemn trout Aug 6, 2025, 10:07 PM

#

today was hell at work

#

Bvbghggsguhg

#

my back hurts so much

#

fatigued

#

i got fucking hit on

#

still no breaks

#

just so intense

bright sun Aug 6, 2025, 10:18 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 6, 2025, 10:31 PM

#

bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>

chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 6:54 AM

#

this is a hell of a responsibility
And im happy to carry it high

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 6:58 AM

#

solemn trout this is a hell of a responsibility And im happy to carry it high

chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:00 AM

#

chu_hug chu_hug

#

its gonna be alot

#

But its gonna be alright

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 7:04 AM

#

solemn trout But its gonna be alright

It will be
Promise on my soul

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:05 AM

#

bright sun It will be Promise on my soul

chu_hug

#

Sumtimes

#

I just wish it could be even a little simpler

#

like you and jay

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 7:06 AM

#

solemn trout like you and jay

Me and Jay went through a lot of problems and turbulence the first two years. It's getting through it all that show how much you love each other

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:07 AM

#

Yeah..I just need to make sure I don’t mess shit up

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 7:07 AM

#

You'll do great Johnny

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:09 AM

#

I hope i do too

#

Ill try

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 7:09 AM

#

You'll succeed

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:13 AM

#

chu_hug

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 7:14 AM

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:27 AM

#

It has come to mind i infact still do not know his name

#

Tho i know of how he looks and sounds

bright sun Aug 7, 2025, 7:32 AM

#

Tbf
That's how online relationships go for a little bit. Definitely ask at some point. It makes it feel closer

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:02 PM

#

Ufh bf has a defect train and has a 2 hour trip instead of a 15 minute trip

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:39 PM

#

fuck

#

man

#

his train got cancelled again

#

god i feel sick inside

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 7:58 PM

#

fuck

#

damn it

#

god just

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 10:35 PM

#

gohhhhh

#

man

#

hes okay

#

but he did have a panic attack and stuff..asleep bow and a little calmer then before

#

im so glad i was there for him the entire time
I dont ever want to imagine what would happen if i werent

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 11:19 PM

#

Damn

#

my blood sugars are getting into the 400s

solemn trout Aug 7, 2025, 11:37 PM

#

but idk..i dont want to praise myself. I seem selfish

solemn trout Aug 8, 2025, 5:39 AM

#

New DOK album actually FUCKING FIRE YO

#

holy fucking shit dude

solemn trout Aug 8, 2025, 6:08 AM

#

10/11

#

this shit is actually good

solemn trout Aug 9, 2025, 4:05 AM

#

God i hope this shower helps
I have a sudden feeling of dread and anxiety

#

I don’t like this

#

fuck

#

I have work tomorrow

#

damn it all

bright sun Aug 9, 2025, 4:07 AM

#

solemn trout damn it all

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 9, 2025, 4:08 AM

#

bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>

Idk why

#

Or what to do besides just shower

#

Like I just suddenly lost interest in everything

#

ima go.
See if I feel any better after

solemn trout Aug 9, 2025, 4:56 AM

#

i genuinely dont know
I dont feel better but im not worse

#

shower done

#

i dont know if i wanna even say why im not feeling good

#

i know i cant hold this in for long

#

But i also dont feel like explaining anything

#

im sorry if i keep adding onto any stress you guys may or may not have

#

FUCK blood sugars are high again

#

Anyways checkout DOK’s new album https://open.spotify.com/album/5M0tFO2k2JHqj09khiXj2Z?si=JrkbZZaDQUOlTRxTmbm1-g

Spotify

Yokai

#

its pretty good

#

skip EYE BLEACH cus its actually ass

solemn trout Aug 9, 2025, 10:36 PM

#

man

#

work was shit again

#

no fucking breaks
Not even a minute

#

i was so unprepared this morning my body could not stand even 6 hours

#

cmonn

#

had to piss for hours but i CANT leave my area cuz i dont want to shit to pile up when I literally just got rid of it

#

luckily i didnt break

#

bf is asleep(maybe) and im already worried again

#

i just cant get time to think of myself

solemn trout Aug 9, 2025, 10:40 PM

#

solemn trout i was so unprepared this morning my body could not stand even 6 hours

losing my balance, fatigue, i could barely lift up a fucking hammer

#

but i got stuff done

#

now i can finally rest

solemn trout Aug 9, 2025, 11:35 PM

#

wtf new bad omens drop

#

MF

#

MF

#

MF

#

This shit is good

#

https://open.spotify.com/track/5krhWYmWIKJhI96deUujm8?si=376e8e141ac04b50

Spotify

Specter

#

actually so gas

#

if my ears had a prostate id be screaming bloody mary right now

solemn trout Aug 10, 2025, 5:55 AM

#

i lowki cannot stop listening to this

solemn trout Aug 10, 2025, 4:25 PM

#

todays been alot a_kitty_neko_bored_tired_no

#

first off my bf, hes doing good for once
next my other friend who is at their limit, im trying to get them to turn back from doing the thing.
This past couple weeks have been a literal nightmare, i have no time to spare any relaxation or anything at all.
I cant take this overload of stress, anxiety, pain, worry, uncertainty, this shit.
Im gonna break if i dont do something

#

and this is simultaneously

#

i keep going back and forth back and forth

#

and im just exploding with emotions

#

man

bright sun Aug 10, 2025, 4:29 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

#

Never forget I'm here for you too man
Like you said. Together. Heaven, high water or hell

solemn trout Aug 10, 2025, 4:33 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 10, 2025, 10:21 PM

#

gosh

#

im feeling better

#

bf is doing good and asleep now

#

other friend is…struggling, on sccd watch

#

but we talked and i think he’s doing ok. not alot tho, just a little

#

but i think i might’ve changed his mind

#

he’s listening

#

thats good

solemn trout Aug 10, 2025, 11:07 PM

#

“Swords coming straight from my wrists like Gigan
Eat a bitch whole like attack on Titan!
Fight like a viking flow like poseidon
The trident I write with is brighter than lightning
Baby girl, said that she's down with the Dizko
Psycho crush her like M. Bison!”

WagaBagaBobo

solemn trout Aug 10, 2025, 11:14 PM

#

solemn trout but we talked and i think he’s doing ok. not alot tho, just a little

Nvm

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 12:50 AM

#

hes not listening

#

I feel like im empty of support

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 3:04 AM

#

fuck

#

hes asleep now

#

probably not

#

but hes gonna text me shen he wakes up randomly

#

im anxious

#

scared

#

I already have 2 depressed, sh prone and sscdl people on my shoulders and i feelblike im suffocating

#

I cant lose either of them

#

i havent a single moment to think of myself

#

God i feel like imbeing eaten up inside

#

Me an the guy have been talking ever since i woke up

#

im so emotionally gone right now

#

I don’t think im gonna sleep tonight

#

I cant

#

i cant keep doing this

#

I cant keep having peoples lives in my hands

#

I wanna help but I just dont have that kind of endurance

#

i feel like im 500 feet under water

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 3:51 AM

#

I have a feeling I might hallucinate tonight

#

Like i can almost feel its coming

#

Well

#

Ima slep

#

gn

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 5:02 AM

#

Mannnnnn i wanna sleep

#

but i cant

#

2 more hours to go

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 10:14 PM

#

Bguhhh

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 10:33 PM

#

86 days!!!!

#

86 until im officially 1000 days clean

bright sun Aug 11, 2025, 10:34 PM

#

solemn trout 86 until im officially 1000 days clean

YAY

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 10:34 PM

#

WagaBagaBobo

#

:3

#

24 days till im 200 off antidepps

#

hhehgggehyyehhyehehe im happy

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 11:08 PM

#

FGYHHTYBVS

#

fucking god man

#

my ram stick is faulty

solemn trout Aug 11, 2025, 11:34 PM

#

https://youtu.be/rzzxTsGrQEo?si=DCEGrdJy53iLkNWn

YouTube

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▶ Play video

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 12:56 AM

#

God fucking god

#

im breaking

#

my piolow is fucking soaked

#

fuck

#

fuck

#

jdut too much stress

#

i cant hold this

#

hhgtfgggcf

#

computers fucking messed up bad

#

Heard my AUNT just got fucking bit a dog twice

#

dealing with people

#

whos TRUST and practically their LIVES in my hands
i dont know ehat to say

#

and all the shit is just bad

#

nothings good happened except being with my friends

#

i can barely fucking breathe

#

its so tight i can feel my heart squeeze

#

i cant fucking calm down

#

i just cant

#

i cant

#

im gonna try to nap

#

i dont wanna end up doing anything

#

im fucked

#

dont worry ill be fine..sorry
Everything just fell down on me

#

im crying

#

i feel so guilty and frustrated and overwhelmed

#

im dizzy

#

im really sorry

#

god why am I like this

#

im a fucking horrible human

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 1:44 AM

#

i deserve this shit

#

i deserve it

#

i made boden feel bad
I cant do anything about all the shit im carrying

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 2:01 AM

#

im actually fucking done

#

ACTUALLY

#

MASTER GUARDIAN TO GOLD III

#

im so actually ass

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 2:50 AM

#

I quit

#

i quit cs2

#

im done

#

game fucking crashed during a comp match 10-3 😭😭😭

#

WE HAD THAT

#

WE SO HAD THAT

#

i lowki quit

#

what do I even do

#

im gonna meditate for a moment

#

Nvm

#

No ones even on

#

Ima sleep

burnt snow Aug 12, 2025, 3:25 AM

#

solemn trout Ima sleep

Gnnn

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:12 AM

#

today sucks

#

just

#

im going through too much

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 4:15 AM

#

solemn trout im going through too much

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug
I hope you get some time man. You need some time to unwind and breathe.

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:16 AM

#

bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:10858398...

chu_hug

#

im trying

#

im not getting much luck

#

but no work tomorrow so nice ig

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 4:18 AM

#

I hope tomorrow goes well for you man. Your health is just as important as everyone else's.

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:18 AM

#

just wanna say i am.at my limit rn
but ill be ok chu_hug i hope tomorrow goes well too fren

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 4:19 AM

#

I'm here for you anytime man. I'm only ever a dm and a ping away

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:19 AM

#

chu_hug

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 4:20 AM

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:41 AM

#

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/77jOSUW3I9tX5y9fyzn7Dq?si=r-cktL0tRaCJsY7_IkdmeA&pi=BW23t2bbRkaVW
something i made much earlier that seems to help..just a little

Spotify

for when things get heavy

#

i don’t think im able to sleep

#

all nighter

#

im sorry for not going to bed like i said

#

I just don’t think i have any sleep in me

#

god i do this every time…

#

i just keep making things worse for myself

#

i wish he was here

#

theyre back..

burnt snow Aug 12, 2025, 4:56 AM

#

solemn trout theyre back..

Who?

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:57 AM

#

the bad ones

#

my hallucinations

#

i can see them

burnt snow Aug 12, 2025, 4:59 AM

#

hugs hugs hugs

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 4:59 AM

#

they look angry

burnt snow Aug 12, 2025, 4:59 AM

#

That sounds very scary im so sorry john

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 5:00 AM

#

chu_hug

#

im trying not to pay attention

#

but i just..im under my covers rn

#

im codl

#

cold

#

idk why im so open about this

#

just stop looking at me..

#

fuck no

#

fuck me

#

i can feel like someon sit on my bed

#

just stop

#

stop

#

stop it

#

why is my mind made like this

#

stopp

#

please

#

this happens every time

#

stop

#

fuck

#

i shouldv gone to sleep earlier

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 5:09 AM

#

solemn trout i wish he was here

Please come back

#

i cant deal with this

#

my chest felt like it’s going inwards

#

i need to try and deal with this myself

#

this is my burden
they are

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 5:54 AM

#

solemn trout this is my burden they are

chu_hug chu_hug

#

If you're still awake I'm here

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 7:18 PM

#

im sorry if i ruined anything for you last night..

#

and jay

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 7:39 PM

#

solemn trout im sorry if i ruined anything for you last night..

Johnny you didn't. Nothing has been ruined. Plus you're my friend man. I'm always here for you. Hell or high water.

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 9:08 PM

#

bright sun Johnny you didn't. Nothing has been ruined. Plus you're my friend man. I'm alway...

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

#

im so glad

#

im feeling a little better

#

but no sleep

#

i hope your doing okay fren, even if just a little

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 9:14 PM

#

solemn trout i hope your doing okay fren, even if just a little

chu_hug chu_hug

#

Try and keep yourself up man

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 9:15 PM

#

im trying

#

i really am

#

I just hope things are okay for you fren

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 9:16 PM

#

bright sun <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338> <:chu_hug:1085839884801036338>

chu_hug chu_hug

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 9:18 PM

#

solemn trout I just hope things are okay for you fren

I'm ok
Promise

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 9:22 PM

#

bright sun I'm ok Promise

Please do chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug you matter too much to me
I love you man/p

#

always here for you

#

idfc how difficult or dark it may be im going to be there for you.
doesn’t matter what goes on im with you. Youre my best friend

bright sun Aug 12, 2025, 9:23 PM

#

I love you too dawg/p
And I'm always here for you too

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 12, 2025, 9:23 PM

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 1:16 AM

#

still just..feeling wrong

#

i feel better than last night

#

much better

#

But I still dont feel happy

#

like

#

im in stasis

#

My emotions are just bland right now

#

almost numb if you must

#

last night was..alot

#

and i think it overwhelmed my emotions so much im like temporarily stuck in a feeling of nothing

#

im still staring at the wall

#

mountain biking was nice

#

might play a game or draw

#

something to stop me from thinking

#

im so weak

#

no

#

i need to be better

#

i need to be better for my friends

#

i have to

#

or im no friend

#

i must be strong

#

i cant be a pussy

#

i need to be better for myself and the ones i love

#

my friends

#

boden
Logan
Emi
Myth
Suba
Astrum
So many more

#

i dont think i have it in me

#

but ill try…

#

…

#

Great

#

cs2 crashed again

#

i need to stop bitching

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 2:16 AM

#

Whatever the hell this is

#

omg just load already

#

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 3:56 AM

#

sigh

#

work tomorrow

#

burnt snow Aug 13, 2025, 4:30 AM

#

solemn trout work tomorrow

Same

#

Twin…

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 5:40 AM

#

Would say im back in chat but i doubt it’d be noticed

#

i hate to say this

#

but im starting to feel like im losing interest in most things

#

like I just feel bland

#

one grey color

#

maybe im just being dramatic

#

im tired

#

thanks logan

#

i think i should try

#

at least.try to find some time to myself

#

i cant handle any more of this weight

bright sun Aug 13, 2025, 5:47 AM

#

You definitely should

#

You're important too Johnny

#

Always have been

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 5:49 AM

#

chu_hug

bright sun Aug 13, 2025, 5:49 AM

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 6:03 AM

#

chu_hug

#

man i can just not get this pressure off my chest

#

im trying to breathe an all and stuff but it feels like im under water

#

i hope tomorrow comes better

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 3:35 PM

#

buhhh

#

Work

#

i already know its gonna be shit
but i hope its not this time

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 7:50 PM

#

bwahhhh

#

sorkw was good

#

Work

#

and im off early

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 8:13 PM

#

Fuck

#

this is not good

#

fuck man

#

fuck

#

im so worried

#

im scared

#

bf is trying to help someone out of sicide

#

if things dont go well

#

his depression..

#

fuck

#

please

#

idk whatll hapen if things go bad

#

I dont wanna know

#

Im so scared

#

Fuck

#

Hes offline

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 9:05 PM

#

fuck

#

hes not okay

#

but the guy he was helping is okay now

#

and found out he has a trauma

#

3 out of 5 of his friends attempted and succeeded

#

and all i can do is support..

#

i wanna be more

#

i wanna do more then just support

#

I wanna be his guardian from all this pain

#

hes on minecraft now

#

i dont mean to sound selfish but…god why cant i just get a break from this stress

solemn trout Aug 13, 2025, 9:54 PM

#

man

#

helped him out of it again..

#

hes asleep now

#

i need to breathe

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 1:34 AM

#

man

#

i dont wanna sound like a bitch or anything

#

but im really envious of logans relationship with jay

#

like

#

i just want the kind of connection the two have
the kind of happiness

#

i dont like how im starting

#

but thats what i got

#

Saying im starting very difficult, so much stress and pain and fear of death in only 3 weeks

#

and the possibility he might do something bad when im not around

#

and all i can do is just talk

#

YeH ik this will shape my future with him. If we even stay that is

#

i just want us some slack

#

even though thats not entirely possible

#

i just want happiness

#

for me and him

#

and all we have is dread

#

i just wanna smile again

#

i have to live with the constant fear that he might hurt himself or end it all because he can. And his depression spikes randomly

#

Fuck no this is not a rough start

#

this is already hell

#

but

#

regardless of all the shit thats going on

#

he still makes me happy

#

-# when hes not urging and that stuff

#

sigh

#

thanks logan chu_hug

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 1:44 AM

#

chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 1:45 AM

#

If i had to guess..all my dreams would be nightmares

#

not saying technically I experience nightmares firsthand.

but if i did dream at all it would be about him, about all the horrible things that could happen to him. Because thats what im living with right now
And it makes me doubt if i should even consider sleeping at all

#

i dont want anymore of this stress

#

not even thinking about it

#

i wish i could restart. Both of us, have it at least even a little bit smoother

#

but what makes it worse is that he is a little stubborn.
like me

#

stubborn as in he sometimes doesn’t listen to my advice when i try to help him out

#

but like

#

yes. He’s perfect to me.

I just wish what we have could run a little cleaner then it is

#

chu_hug

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 1:50 AM

#

chu_hug

#

I have the same wish for my relationship. Things never start off well for the most part. It's always rocky in online relationships. But you love him. That's all you need

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 1:53 AM

#

bright sun I have the same wish for my relationship. Things never start off well for the mo...

chu_hug

#

also

#

im sorry if i made you even the slightest bit of bad because i mentioned i am jealous of your relationship

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 1:57 AM

#

No you didn't
Promise

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 1:57 AM

#

thas good chu_hug

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 1:57 AM

#

solemn trout also

Do you really care about that tho?

#

Them caring?

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 1:58 AM

#

i do, and i know they do, they make it clear to me every day

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 1:59 AM

#

Cus like. I don't mean to sound. Genuinely I don't. But it doesn't sound like you have the best relationship with them and this is your partner you wanna move in with

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 2:06 AM

#

im still actively trying to help him too

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 2:07 AM

#

Well what I meant was your parents. I can tell you adore your boyfriend

#

Absolutely you do

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 2:07 AM

#

Oh my parents

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 2:07 AM

#

You're fighting this hard for him

#

chu_hug chu_hug

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 2:13 AM

#

chu_hug chu_hug

#

never once had they hurt or belittled me

#

proud to say im a spoiled brat.
But no more of that

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

#

im gonna shower

#

something to relieve

#

stay safe alright?

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 10:44 PM

#

https://open.spotify.com/track/7Cq27Qc3WRyQ3ddwVslpVZ?si=WGUa-WItR0uX4jv72obSbg

Spotify

Heart Attack

#

bkheadphones

bright sun Aug 14, 2025, 10:45 PM

#

hugs

solemn trout Aug 14, 2025, 10:45 PM

#

hugs

#

https://open.spotify.com/album/3KqA7GS5ruZN70yBP2jFMJ?si=ItZQjQALSEGJD4d6y7tjjw

Spotify

Chaxsthexry

#

lowki obsessing over this album

solemn trout Aug 15, 2025, 5:40 AM

#

fuck…

#

fuck

#

Fuckfuck

#

fuck

#

his friend is gone..

#

a good friend.

#

fuck hes offline

solemn trout Aug 16, 2025, 1:30 AM

#

vro yeah my dad is VERY anti lgbtq

#

found him blabbing about how this country is a shithole, how its society will take it down from the inside like ROME. How the people are doing “gay shit” and “transies” becoming governors and corrupting our country

#

im not one to diss my parents but rhat kinda pisses me off

#

luckily he doesnt know im gay

burnt snow Aug 16, 2025, 3:51 AM

#

solemn trout found him blabbing about how this country is a shithole, how its society will ta...

Tbh fuck him

#

Because it is literally the OPPOSITE

#

like

#

Ong

#

Its all the tr*mp supporters

#

That are destroying our country 😭

burnt snow Aug 16, 2025, 4:11 AM

#

Since he came in power america has just been worse 😭

solemn trout Aug 16, 2025, 9:23 PM

#

Netherlands at its finest

#

Heh
Lil video bf took while working earlier today

burnt snow Aug 17, 2025, 3:14 AM

#

solemn trout Heh Lil video bf took while working earlier today

Reminds me of octoberfest

solemn trout Aug 17, 2025, 4:15 AM

#

ughhh my razor died

#

now im stuck with one hairy leg and one glass clear leg

#

call me johnny dent.. catsuit

lofty oracle Aug 17, 2025, 10:02 PM

#

ok mr dent

warm wren Aug 18, 2025, 4:01 AM

#

@solemn trout thank you for the birthday art

solemn trout Aug 18, 2025, 4:04 AM

#

warm wren <@864240810304471040> thank you for the birthday art

huddleshibaheart ur very very welcome fren
I plan on doing more in the future

full arrow Aug 18, 2025, 8:18 AM

#

solemn trout Heh Lil video bf took while working earlier today

omg looks like so much fun!

solemn trout Aug 19, 2025, 7:23 AM

#

https://open.spotify.com/track/5n2B1j5DEPsk13k8fgJMRb?si=CPms42kAQYOOO_cu3CLo-A

Spotify

Michael

solemn trout Aug 19, 2025, 9:24 PM

#

@bright sun so about why im bad..

#

just alot.

#

i just want a good day for him

#

even tho he has horrible depression and clearly is very sensitive to it, i just wish he could have downtime

#

even if just a little

#

he genuinely deserves it more than me

bright sun Aug 19, 2025, 9:33 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

#

I wish I could genuinely help you with this because this is such a hard spot for you to be in

solemn trout Aug 19, 2025, 9:34 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug chu_hug

#

Just being here is enough for me, i wish things get better, even if its just little by little

bright sun Aug 19, 2025, 9:38 PM

#

chu_hug chu_hug

#Johnnies mindscape wooooowww