#some thoughts

267 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

hushed haven
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I was playing on my PC, normal stuff, then like

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I hear talking coming from my little brother's room

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I still hear it like 3 minutes later si

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So

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I walking in and he's in his bed

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It's dark

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He's talking about my littlest brother and calling for my mom and dad

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Like

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Yelling atp

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And I say his name

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No reply

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Just crazy talk about a big tree and my parents or something

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And ig now's a good time to mention my brother is pretty sick

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But anyways

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I turn the lights on

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And his eyes are closed

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He's out

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Like fast asleep

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But he's yelling for my parents and talking about a big ship

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Then all the sudden

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His eyes open

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And he sits up

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He takes a long look at me

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His face is covers in sweat

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His expression clueless

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Then he start yelling for my littlest brother again

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It was like he was still stuck in a nightmare

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I know I sound crazy but I saw it with my own eyes

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He was wide awake and still in his dream

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He starts screaming about this ship and falling

rugged wasp
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Dose he have Night terrors?

hushed haven
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No this has never happened before

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No nightmare, night terrors, nothing

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Not a single complaint

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And for 5 minutes

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He's just stuck

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In this dream

rugged wasp
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It sounds like night terrors but idk

hushed haven
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I thought night terrors we're just like you wake up suddenly and scream

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But this

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This was like

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Wide awake but still in his dream for 5 minutes

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After he finally stopped screaming about the ship

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He started saying "yes" and "no" like he was talking to someone (I've never caught him talking to imaginary friends before)

rugged wasp
hushed haven
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Oh

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I'm still shaking I thought I was insane or something

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I might as well finish my story

hushed haven
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Its been about 2 minutes of me standing there frozen in fear and him screaming and having conversations with no one

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And then

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I say his name again

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This time instead of ignoring me he looks up

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He start crying and screaming like I was a stranger trying to kill him

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I try to calm him down and I ask "do you know where we are?"

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He stops screaming, looks around for a long time, then says, "outside"

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I said "no we're in the house, in your room"

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He looks around again, and started saying "what, what?? No no" over and over and then he started talking to other people again idk

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I ask him what day it is, he doesn't reply

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I walk closer, but then he looks at me and starts acting super scared again

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Like I was a stranger

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Then I tell him it's ok, and o ask him whats going on

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He looks around again

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Then starts talking about evil things around him

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I said "hey, hey it's me"

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I said "do you know who I am?"

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It's been about 5 minutes atp

hushed haven
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All the sudden

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He snaps into reality

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Looks at me confused

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Like he had just woken up

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He asked, "why are you in my room"

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I just stood their in shock

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Then I asked him

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"what was that dream you just had, about a ship and a tree what happened"

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He looked at me like I was crazy and said "what are you talking about"

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I question him about what jad happened in the last 5 minutes and he had no memory of the incident

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It was like it never happened

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To him he had just woken up with me in his room for no reason

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I thought I was in a nightmare for a second

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A quick pinch proved me wrong

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Then I look up at my brother, already falling back asleep, and I just tell him goodnight and go to my bed shaking in fear

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Up until he said my name

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I thought he had lost his memory

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Bc he was sick

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I thought maybe it wasn't the flu maybe it was some serious condition

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If he wouldn't have said my name

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I would've had went insane that would've scarred me for life

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For five minutes I truly thought he forgot everything

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That would've been devastating

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But the fact that he doesn't recall anything from the ordeal really

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It really just doesn't feel right

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It's something I'll never forget no doubt, but no one was harmed and I just overreacted

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It's just that five minutes

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Really disturbs me

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That I was talking to my brother while he was unconscious

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Welp that's it

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Damn I suck at storytelling

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I didn't realize how much I need a journal like this until now

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Just somewhere to

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Yk

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Write whatever

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Just put it all out there

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No reason to keep anything in

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It's a nice community

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One of those things I'd def be embarrassed if my friends found out

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Friends

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Ha

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Friends are really something

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I don't have a lot

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But that's how I like it

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I have two good friends

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Just had a sleepover from Friday to Saturday

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With them

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They're really good people ig

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Chill

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They accept me for what I am

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They joke around a lot

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Ones a boyscout

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Been one as long as I can remember

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The other one I met through cross county

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Cross country is really something

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I don't know why I do it

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You run a couple miles and call it a day

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But it's a lot more than that really

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It's a place to take out all of your anger

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All your emotions

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Just run

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Run like you've never ran before

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Let your anger fuel you

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And before you know it

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You accomplish something

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You win a race

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You get a personal best

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You notice life's just a little better than before

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I think I realize

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I don't do it because I like running

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I hate running

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It hurts

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It sucks

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I want to never do it again

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But

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I think I still do it because it gives purpose

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Just a little meaning

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Just the thoughts of getting better every day

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Doing what you once thought was impossible

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Achieving your goals

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That's what cross country is all about

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Yeah

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That's why I still run every day

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Am I even doing this journal stuff right

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It feels wierd

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Writing down whatever comes to mind

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But at the same time

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It's comforting

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I don't know why

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Well ig I'll be off for the day

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It's 122 am

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School tomorrow

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Tests tomorrow

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Gotta get those a's

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Get into a good college

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Live a good life

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  • 3 March 2025
hushed haven
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Got tons of work done

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Today

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Three tests

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I feel ok ig

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Parents mad at me like usual

hushed haven
hushed haven
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I feel like they violated my privacy

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They've done it twice

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This time it was because I was late to school

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I still had soap on me and they barge in and grab my arm

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Take me out and yell a me while I'm begging for my privacy

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I feel like what they did is just morally wrong and it violated my privacy

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Every day I feel more distant

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Constant arguemets

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It's like they don't understand

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It's almost always over my screen time

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They only give me two hours a day

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I don't understand bc everyone else I know doesn't have screen time at 16

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Well my friends want me to get online so I gotta go for now

hushed haven
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Well today was scary

Screenshot_2025-03-04-17-55-29-67_0ce57feeccaa51fb7deed04b4dbda235.jpg
hushed haven
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Bomb threat after bomb threat at school

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Doesn't feel safe anymore

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Not to mention the active shooter earlier in the year

hushed haven
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Why does no one love me

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I want someone

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Someone special

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Someone I know will always be there for me

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Someone who sees me for what I am on the inside

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Understands me

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Doesn't judge me

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Someone to hug

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Someone to talk with

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Someone to love

hushed haven
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Well it's 3 am

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I can't sleep

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I have a lot of hw that I already know im not gonna start until Sunday night

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I need a hug

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Just a long warm hug

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A moment of happiness

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I've never had a hug once before

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But I know how it feels

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Just picturing it

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With someone I love

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I'd never want to let go

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Just stay there

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Hug

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Forever

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Cuddle

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Enjoy the warmth

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Time frozen

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Everything good

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Not a single worry

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Just me

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And someone I love

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Someone who loves me

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I need a gf

hushed haven
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also

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heute war es lustig

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ich spielte video spiele mit miene freunden

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that's about it ig

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weekends are pretty boring

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Better than school days at least

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I'm learning German and Spanish as you can see

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almost done with the last german duolingo section and I took 3 years of german at school

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Spanish isn't really a strong suit

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I took 2 years of that and I'm a little over 2/3 of the way through the entire duolingo course

hushed haven
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I'm in a very positive mood today (:

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the blood moon (lunar eclipse) is coming

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I'm excited for that

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I will get a perfect view bc I live in the us

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I'm obsessed with astronomy and I've seen many lunar and solar eclipses before

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It's been quite some time since a full lunar eclipse though

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I watch meteor showers all the time too

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Once I saw a once in a lifetime 'fireball" early in the morning

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Now there's a big difference between fireballs and meteorites

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Meteorites are simple little streaks of light from the meteors burning up

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Just your average meteorite that you can see every few minutes on a clear night

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But fireballs

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They are huge meteors that are so big they make it into the lower atmosphere. They are incredibly bright

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So bright on fact that it can make it look like daytime out

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They are so rare that most people only see them once in their entire life

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Many fireballs break off into smaller pieces which fall down to earth

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They are extremely valuable, worth thousands

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I saw my once in a lifetime fireball a few months ago

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I was programming my telescope to track the Andromeda Galaxy in hopes of getting an amazing photo over hours of exposure

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While setting it up, though, I notice everything slowly get brighter and brighter

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I quickly look up in time to see an incrediblly massive white streak blazing across the sky

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It was so bright it almost hurt my eyes

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It took about 3 seconds for it to cross the entire sky, from one corner to the other

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At the very end, it broke off into numerous fragments which disappeared over the horizon

hushed haven
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Truly amazing

hushed haven
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Sorry for not posting in a while

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But

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I think I'm the luckiest person alive rn

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Someone who I really like and talk to a lot asked me out and hugged me today

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A real hug

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My first hug from anyone

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Ever

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It was the best feeling ever

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And she's pretty popular but not too much