Pineapple's (recovery) Journal | Huddle | Page 1

shadow summit Feb 18, 2025, 1:39 PM

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Kind of tired, I hate school

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I didn't like how this journal kind of made me crash out before so maybe it's better this time after starting over again.

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how can ~~he be so cute~~, my heart cant take it... it might just burst😅

shadow summit Feb 18, 2025, 2:15 PM

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i might be completely psychotic, is there an ~~unhealthy amount of love to feel~~? is that a thing? i hope not

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why do i have to go to school, school sucks, idk anyone who likes school (thats a lie) school is so stupid

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why cant i just graduate with the grades i have now and move on

shadow summit Feb 18, 2025, 5:07 PM

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wtf does "i'm sure you'll figure everything out" mean😭

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does everyone know im crashing out??

shadow summit Feb 18, 2025, 5:41 PM

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is it poosible to crash out in a good way?

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 4:10 AM

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Things I want to talk to him about when he's all better~~❤️ ~~:

my book
the talk i had today
my birthday
my hair
~~his cute face~~
our future
ummmm that ~~im so so so in love with him~~
new book mark

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 5:14 AM

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i binged today but i didnt purge so maybe thats good?

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 5:35 AM

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My heart feels a certain way i dunno if its positive or negative yet

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i think its both maybe

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 6:07 AM

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i knew it

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crashing out

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 7:58 AM

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dinner didnt make me want to vomit today

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i hope tomorrow is a good day

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or today ig

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 1:40 PM

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i feel like its best i sleep longer

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 1:58 PM

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why are my thoughts so short

shadow summit Feb 19, 2025, 3:11 PM

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feeling worthless, think i need an energy drink

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 12:25 AM

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angry

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no maybe im being too dramatic

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maybe it was my fault

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 5:24 AM

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i want to live so badly that i want to die

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why is pain the only way to make my emotions go away

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why do i want to die again

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or maybe i never stopped wanting to die

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its so easy to say pretty words i wish it was just as easy to believe them

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i wish i had no standards

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then i wouldnt be expected to meet them

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its not even gonna make a fucking difference

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everyone else has been here already

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it doesnt fucking matter if i try

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im still stupid

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FUCKKK

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i ate a tiny piece of fucking chocolate and now i dont feel hungry?

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that. is. not. how. this. is. supposed. to. work.

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GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE MYSELF

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lmao im crashing out again

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i need to lock in

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thank you for reacting to that, it really brought me back to reality

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thats so real

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the piece of chocolate is the first thing ive eaten today

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ive had 500 calories in energy drinks tho

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umm i like lyndor

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the truffle ones with the creamy chocolate inside

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they're really satisfying to eat

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wbu

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OOOH

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lmao

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i like rockstars

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yesterday i tried the pina colada one

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its pretty good

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today i had the hardcore apple and then the fruit punch

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lmao i only like coffee if its super sweet

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i dont like bitter things

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haha thank you for talking to me

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 7:24 AM

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maybe i was just lonely

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 8:44 AM

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i hope i dont like you more than ~~you like me~~

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that would suck

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a lot

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 1:36 PM

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i feel silly for ever being so scared

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i hope i never think that way again

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 1:51 PM

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i feel happy

shadow summit Feb 20, 2025, 6:01 PM

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i understand now that i was being crazy

shadow summit Feb 21, 2025, 12:49 AM

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why do i have to look like this

shadow summit Feb 21, 2025, 5:21 AM

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UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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NO ONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK

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ABOUT WHAT I THINK OR DO OR FEEL

shadow summit Feb 21, 2025, 11:12 AM

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yesterday i binged

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but

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it was how everyone else was eating normally so maybe it doesnt count

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plus i didnt even hit my calorie count

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either way i didnt purge

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and i think thats a win

shadow summit Feb 21, 2025, 5:24 PM

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i cant stop smiling

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~~he makes me so happy~~

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i feel good with him

shadow summit Feb 21, 2025, 10:28 PM

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i had lunch for the first time in a long time and i feel good

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its nice to not constantly have hunger gnawing at you

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 3:34 AM

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i cant wait for him to wake up ~~i love him so much~~ i hope he's feeling better

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 4:45 AM

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i talk too fuckin much

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i might be too fast to give my heart away but he already has it so what do i do if he realizes he doesnt want it?

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 5:52 AM

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why do i need to be validated by other people to feel happy

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why do i feel worthless again

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 6:26 AM

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oh my god why cant i just stop fucking talking and take a fucking hint

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stop. fucking. speaking.

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FUCK

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i dont wanna be here anymore

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i dont even care about what i have to look forward to at this point

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im so tired

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im so so so tired

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why do i keep checking if someone is texting me

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no one is fucking texting me

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no one cares im alive

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or exist

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 3:06 PM

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man ~~i love him~~ so much

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i need to stop letting these negative thoughts win

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 3:28 PM

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yes ~~i love him~~ being ~~with him~~ thinking about him

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 4:24 PM

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i hate myself

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i hate that im alive

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wtf is wrong with me

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why am i so fucking stupid

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 7:03 PM

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"i hate myself, i hate this pain"

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 9:05 PM

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i ate breakfast this morning

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im happy with that

shadow summit Feb 22, 2025, 10:23 PM

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i hate feeling hungry but it feels good at the same time

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 5:43 AM

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why wont he text me

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why do i want him to text me

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he doesnt want me

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im so pathetic

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 7:14 AM

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add stupid to the list as well

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im fucking stupid

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god i just want to love you why cant i do it right

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 4:32 PM

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Pineapple's (recovery) Journal

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I feel good, debating what i should eat today

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 5:42 PM

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Having breakfast again today<3

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 6:18 PM

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LMAO got a 8/14 on my quiz😅

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 8:10 PM

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gonna have some toast

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https://tenor.com/view/dive-paddling-pool-swimming-pool-dive-fail-water-gif-23101871

Tenor

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me when i get a little attention from someone

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 8:24 PM

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shadow summit https://tenor.com/view/dive-paddling-pool-swimming-pool-dive-fail-water-gif-2310...

stop this is so funny tho😂

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why am i acting like im talking to someone LMFAO

shadow summit Feb 23, 2025, 9:13 PM

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shadow summit gonna have some toast

ok kept forggeting it in the toaster but its happening now lol

shadow summit Feb 24, 2025, 2:15 AM

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i ate a dinner

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i feel like i ate a lot but maybe its fine

shadow summit Feb 24, 2025, 4:14 AM

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im feeling much better

shadow summit Feb 25, 2025, 3:12 AM

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ate lunch today

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we'll see bout dinner

shadow summit Feb 25, 2025, 3:44 AM

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had a bowl of cereal

shadow summit Feb 25, 2025, 5:15 AM

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i feel better when its just me<3

shadow summit Feb 26, 2025, 10:56 PM

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I got 3 new plants for free im so happyyyy

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and i ate lunch with out wanting to throw up😋

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so im happy about that as welllll

shadow summit Feb 28, 2025, 2:34 AM

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fml fr

shadow summit Feb 28, 2025, 4:30 AM

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low key i would appreciate if i just stopped existing so i could stop being so stupid

shadow summit Feb 28, 2025, 5:56 AM

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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that would be me if i had real free will

shadow summit Feb 28, 2025, 4:48 PM

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bruh i hate waiting for a text and then realizing the notification was an email..,

shadow summit Mar 1, 2025, 5:11 AM

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i am so tired of trying be ok i dont know how to be ok

#Pineapple's (recovery) Journal