#Sam’s (itissamm) journal of random writings

1 messages · Page 2 of 1

wanton nacelle
#

I’m going to message you. Just to let you know that I won’t constantly message you because I don’t want to be to much.

#

No… I don’t like that message

#

It seems to harsh

#

I can’t give up on you

#

I’m okay

#

I mean when it comes to you I should be happy

#

Because the person I love so much is safe and okay

#

And they also still love me

#

Even if you aren’t ready to fully let me back in because I know you have a lot going on

#

I will wait and be here for you

#

Because you did that for me in the beginning

#

Because we still love each other

#

There is almost nothing I’ve been more certain on then my love for you

#

Everyone is telling me not to reach out but my gut feeling is to do so

#

What do I follow?

#

I have no clue

wanton nacelle
#

I sent it

#

Now I’m scared

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

Still no new texts

#

But you love me still

#

And you are okay

wanton nacelle
#

I’ll wait for you

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

I also miss you but I know there is a lot going on in your life right now

#

So I’m not upset with no answer

#

Maybe a little bummed out but not upset

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot right now

#

I’m confused about everything

#

And i still just want to message you

#

I feel like breaking down

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

wanton nacelle
#

I love you too

#

I hate that I haven’t texted you today but maybe it’s a better idea

#

I don’t know

#

It hurts

#

To feel like I’m leaving you to struggle alone

#

I just want to know what is the right thing

#

You mean the world to me

#

It breaks my heart that there is pretty much nothing I can do to help you right now

#

I love you so much

wanton nacelle
#

I’m to scared of making the wrong choice i can’t even follow my gut instinct

wanton nacelle
#

Still nothing from you

wanton nacelle
#

That message i just send will be the last for a while

#

Because I don’t think i have enough words to fully describe it anymore

wanton nacelle
#

I told you my truth like my therapist said. I did what i think is good for me.

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I’m scared you will be gone forever

#

I Wonder if you read the messages I send

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

wanton nacelle
#

How am I supposed to go anywhere in art if I feel like I can’t make good art

#

I hate it

#

I’m confused and lonely feeling

#

I don’t want to go and eat dinner with my family either

#

But I don’t know

#

My mom wants me to

#

But I just can’t get myself to go

#

I feel just so eh

wanton nacelle
#

I have to get better so I can be there for you better

#

You still love me so it’s all worth it

#

I love you too

#

I just found something that is helpful to me

#

Hugging that plush cat that reminds me of you for whatever reason other then one day I told you I was going to pretend it was you so it felt like you were there with me

#

But I hid it in a drawer for what I thought would help me feel better

#

But maybe feeling like you are here with me again is a good thing

#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

You wouldn’t love me now

#

My hair cut makes me look ugly

#

And not like a guy

#

It doesn’t fit my face right and just even though it’s quite short it makes me face look more feminine

#

I miss my hair

#

From before

#

But it was all dead ends pretty much

#

But so much was cut off and now I look dumb and ugly and bad

#

I hate it

#

And I hate dysphoria

#

And I hate going through it all alone

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I Hope you are okay

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

#

I’m really lonely right now

wanton nacelle
#

I want to do the call thing

#

Where we just sit on a call and don’t do really anything

#

Sometimes I’m alone on the calls because you were busy so you just text me while I draw pictures and stuff

#

But other times you join off and on

#

I felt a lot less lonely then

#

I guess it was probably also because I had more then two friends that I talked to outside of school during most of our relationship

#

But even though you still love me (or you say you do) it feels weird to ask you if I can do the call thing

#

Not just because we aren’t together but because you are having a hard time

wanton nacelle
#

Miss you

wanton nacelle
#

You don’t know how happy and grateful for the fact you sent me the text “I love you, Sam.”

#

I hate that life has been unfair to you… but you are safe

#

Or at least that’s what you said a couple days ago

#

I haven’t heard from you sense but I will wait

#

Because I love you too

#

It’s something I’m willing to wait and fight for

#

Just don’t leave forever please

#

That’s all I ask

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

Just another day

#

I will message you on Christmas

#

I think about you all the time

#

Sometimes I just stare at the text you sent where you said you love me

#

My heart longs for you

wanton nacelle
#

You said you love me only like six days ago

#

You wouldn’t be with someone new right? I’m over thinking this stuff

#

I want to check with you… ask you if you meant it but I don’t think it’s a good idea

#

You have so much going on in your life

#

The last thing I want to do is stress you out more

wanton nacelle
#

My mom made a fair point

#

You don’t usually do things just because

#

You think things through

#

I mean you say you are inactive but you still went out of your way to reach out to me

#

For my own sanity I’m going to try to believe you

#

Believe that you still love me

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

It makes me sad

wanton nacelle
#

I wish we could talk

#

But you don’t answer

#

So I think it’s better if I wait for you to reach out again

#

I hope that isn’t another 20 days please

#

I want to cry and I’m not even fully sure why

#

It sucks

#

And I just want you back

wanton nacelle
#

Should I text you?

#

6 days sense your last text

#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

I think I’m going to hold off till Christmas… I wish you a merry Christmas sense in June you told me it was time to start getting ready for Christmas

#

You told me that on my birthday

#

We then sung and looked at Christmas songs on my June birthday

#

You also sing me Burger King advertisement songs

#

That made my laugh

#

You still sounded beautiful singing it even though it was meant to be funny

#

That was a good birthday

#

We didn’t call your birthday

#

You were busy

#

I wish we did but I still sung you happy birthday if I remember right

#

You stayed up all night to make sure you were the first person to wish me happy birthday

#

12:40 I just went back

#

That was a good day

#

The best birthday I had in a while

#

Why am I thinking about this? At least I’m not crying while thinking about it

#

I hope I get the chance to celebrate my birthday with you again

#

I hope we talk more by the time I graduate

#

I thought about trying to convince my parents to help me be able to fly you up here for it

#

It would have probably never happened even if we were still together just because life and stuff

#

But I thought about it a lot

#

I hope I can tell you about my graduation and send you pictures and stuff

#

Maybe call you in my hat and gown

#

I hope I get to dance with you one day still

#

Even just as friends

#

I promised you we would dance together so I would like to keep that

#

I really miss being cheesy with you

#

The stupid pickup lines that we would go back forth with

#

I l remember on October 10th you said are you today’s date because you are a 10/10

#

I laughed so much, even told my friends because I thought it was very cute

#

Being with you was great

#

Yeah it had its ups and downs but that what happens

#

Everything has ups and downs

#

It was still amazing

#

I hope I get to have that back one day

#

I really do love you

#

You’re still everything to me

#

Okay now I’m making myself sad

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

wanton nacelle
#

I’m quite tired this morning

wanton nacelle
#

And I miss you still

#

Which isn’t a surprise

#

I miss you a lot

wanton nacelle
#

I will wait for you my dear

#

It’s hard to wait but i will because it’s for you

wanton nacelle
#

3 days sense I last texted you… i don’t know what the right thing to do is

#

I feel like I’m leaving you hanging for to long

#

But you don’t even answer

#

I don’t Even know if you read them

#

I have no clue if you know I’m texting you

#

I just really miss my favorite person

wanton nacelle
#

I’ll wait till tomorrow to text you

#

I really do miss you though

#

I love you

wanton nacelle
#

I really miss you

#

I thought with my winter break and Christmas would have hung out

#

Well I thought that when we were still together and life wasn’t so crazy I suppose

#

It hurts a lot to not have the person you think about almost 24/7

#

Not even be able to talk to that person

#

I’ve never felt this way about someone you know… it felt like magic when it felt like a good thing

#

Now it feels just not great I guess

#

I love you

#

I miss you

#

I hope you come back into my life again

#

Preferably soon but I will take later over not at all

wanton nacelle
#

I feel very anxious about tomorrow

#

Texting you tomorrow about the holidays

#

Ahhh

wanton nacelle
#

I’m really anxious

wanton nacelle
#

You answered

#

I don’t know how to feel about anything

wanton nacelle
#

I love you more then anything

wanton nacelle
#

I’m glad we talked today

#

I wish it was longer but I’m still glad

wanton nacelle
#

I want to talk to you again but I don’t want to push you

#

I’m really glad my Christmas wish came true

#

Maybe I should tell you that

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I could help people better

#

But I always feel so far away from the people I want to help

#

I always feel like I can’t do enough

#

I would never want people to stop asking me for help

#

But I just wish I was able to do more for them

wanton nacelle
#

I’m scared of messing up

#

Sense you still love me I don’t want to mess that up

#

But I guess I should realize that even after two months of not talking to me and you still love me

#

Probably means that it won’t just go away like a snap of the fingers or whatever that saying is

#

I’m very nervous about sending you that animation I made… just I don’t know

#

I’m so worried of bothering you

wanton nacelle
#

I love you so very much

#

I never want to lose you

#

I know you aren’t fully back yet but you love me and talk to me when you feel up to it

#

I’m so fucking glad you are okay

wanton nacelle
#

I love you so much

#

It’s hard to not text you but I think right now it’s the best to do

#

I don’t want to risk stressing you out

#

I think you know you can always reach out

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I just want to hear your voice but like a recent one not one of the old ones I have

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I did more today

#

But I’ve been trying to fix my stupid computer all day

wanton nacelle
#

I got it fixed :)

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

I want to text you but I’m going to wait a couple days

wanton nacelle
#

You texted me today

#

About the little Christmas drawing I sent you

#

It makes me happy I got to talk to you again

wanton nacelle
#

Should I text you this morning

#

I really don’t know what the right move is

#

I don’t want to overwhelm you in anyway

wanton nacelle
#

I wonder if you know how much I truly love you

#

How happy seeing a message from you makes me feel

#

Even though it makes me a little anxious right now it definitely make me more happy then anxious

#

I’m glad you still love me

#

Even if we can’t be together right now

#

Because I still love you too

#

I sent you an audio message because I wanted to say I love you out loud

#

I hope I didn’t push my luck or send it to early and make you uncomfortable

#

I feel like I did the right thing

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I didn’t stress so much

wanton nacelle
#

My anxiety is heighten

#

I can feel it in my body

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

But I’m really really really grateful for everything

#

Talking to you on Christmas

#

You still loving me

#

And confirming it

#

You like the drawing I made you

#

The heart you sent

#

I’m going to say you are back

#

Like in my life

#

Because it makes me happy and I feel like you are

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I love you a lot too

#

I wish we could of talked today but I also know that you got a lot going on

#

So I’m not upset

#

It just makes me miss you and overthink

#

But I’m glad you still love me

#

I will bring that up all the time because I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t need to worry about how you feel about me

wanton nacelle
#

A new day

#

I love you

#

I miss you

#

But I think I’m going to leave you be for today

#

Don’t want to push to much

#

I love you a lot

wanton nacelle
#

I’m worried of messing everything up

wanton nacelle
#

I Sent you a text because I didn’t like that the last text was an apology

#

It made me over think so I don’t want to constantly see it

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I could tell you about the letter of recommendation I received from my favorite teacher

#

It was really nice and made me tear up tbh

#

I really want to tell you

#

So you can be proud of me

#

But I’m so scared of messing things up

#

Or being to much

#

You never said either those things to me

#

I just worry

#

All the time

wanton nacelle
#

I want to call and talk to you so badly

#

I just miss you so much

#

I’m grateful don’t get me wrong

#

I’m so grateful for how much we have talked and that you still love me

#

And that you are okay and safe

#

So very grateful

#

I just miss you so much

#

You are my favorite person

#

I just want to be with you

#

And not feel so far away

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I knew what to do

#

I really want to talk to you and tell you about that letter or recommendation still

#

I want you to be proud of me

#

But idk if I should

wanton nacelle
#

I sent it

#

I hope I didn’t make a mistake

#

I’m scared of losing you

#

Fully

wanton nacelle
#

I feel anxious

#

I love you

#

I miss you too

#

I hope you are okay

#

I’m really glad you still love me

#

I hope that stays

wanton nacelle
#

I’m really really anxious

#

What if I have upset you

#

What if I messed up

#

I don’t want to mess up

#

I just want you to be proud of me

#

And to talk to you

#

And show you how much you mean to me

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I hope the next time you say you love me you don’t apologize right after

#

You don’t need to feel guilty about what happened

#

You had good reasons that make sense

#

I know now it was never your intent to hurt me

#

And i love you too

#

So I really hope you don’t apologize next time right after you say you love me

wanton nacelle
#

I’m tired and don’t feel very great

#

It makes me miss you a lot

#

But I’m assuming you got stuff going on

#

Which I’m not surprised about

#

I just gotta keep reminding myself it will all be okay and you still love me

#

We will figure it out

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

You are my favorite person

#

<3

wanton nacelle
#

The day has gone by so fast :/

#

I want it to stop and slow down

wanton nacelle
#

I won’t text you today

#

I think maybe that’s what I should do

#

You told me a while ago that if you ever stop answering just stop messaging and wait a bit

#

Sure that was while we were still dating and you meant like an hour or so

#

At the time

#

And I don’t really know what we are right now

#

Other then two people who are in love with each other but can’t be together because of some stuff you have gone through right now

#

I mean this time has also helped me realize how to be a better partner too

#

Like I’ve realized it’s okay to go a little bit without talking to someone if they are busy and stuff

#

It doesn’t mean it’s over forever

#

Just because someone got busy for a day

#

Or life became complicated and needed a break

#

Not sending you a message every second also doesn’t mean I don’t love you

#

I need and have realized that

#

It’s okay to be separate people while being in love

#

You will still be in my mind when I do other things yes but it’s okay to not do everything together or talk every minute

#

I’ve realized a lot

#

I think I could be a lot better boyfriend to you now

#

If you one day want to try again

#

I think you do

#

I mean I don’t think you would have told me multiple times that you love me and send hearts

#

I also think you wouldn’t have came back

#

But today I will leave you be

#

It’s still somewhat hard for me but I think it’s the best to wait for you to reach out or for something to come up that I feel I should message you about

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t really know why I’m crying

#

I just am

#

I miss you

#

I wish I could call you and just be not alone

#

I want to tell you I love you

wanton nacelle
#

You have talked to me sense 4 days ago

#

I Wonder if you read what I send anyways

#

It makes me a bit sad to think about how many days it has been

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

Forever and always

#

I remember when you first told me that

#

I cried

#

Good tears happy tears

#

I felt so loved

#

Then after when I was anxious you would always tell me forever and always

#

It helped

#

I still Hope that we can be forever and always

#

I think of all the bad possibilities

#

I hate them all

#

I don’t want any of them to be true

#

The bad ones at least

wanton nacelle
#

New Year’s Eve

#

I think all the traditions that go with new years are kinda dumb

#

Like a kiss at midnight and that stuff

#

I know in truth it’s because I wish I could do all those stupid traditions with you

#

And right now I suppose that isn’t an option

#

I miss you a lot

#

Every day is hard and I try to remind myself that everything will be okay

#

I mean you still obviously want to talk to me and you still love me

#

It’s just life is very chaotic right now

#

It’s hard to remind myself sometimes

#

Maybe I will text you today

#

Ask some question about new years or something of that sort

#

I really wish I could start the new year with you

#

I love you so much

#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

Should I message you

#

I don’t Even know what to say

#

Maybe I should ask my friend

#

She is always good with advice

wanton nacelle
#

It’s been an hour sense I messaged you with no answer

#

:(

#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I knew if you at least saw my messages

wanton nacelle
#

I wish we could of spent new years together

#

I don’t really want to celebrate by myself but I guess I will

wanton nacelle
#

This is just great

#

I’m spending that last day of 2023 crying in my room alone

#

How festive and wonderful is that

wanton nacelle
#

I’m going into 2024 all alone

#

I hate it

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I really want to talk to you

wanton nacelle
#

Today is hard

wanton nacelle
#

I miss my grandpa

#

Happy birthday to him

#

I wish you were here

#

So I could just be with you

#

You always made me feel better even if you didn’t know what was wrong or something was going on

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I love you

#

I Hope Everything is okay

wanton nacelle
#

I just messed up

wanton nacelle
#

Please be okay

#

I miss you

#

I love you

#

Be safe that’s all I could truly ask for

wanton nacelle
#

You answered

#

I’m glad

wanton nacelle
#

My head hurts and my stomach hurts

#

And my knees they hurt

wanton nacelle
#

You acted more like yourself in that text yesterday

#

That makes me happy

#

It means that you are definitely doing at least a little better

wanton nacelle
#

I love you a lot

#

It means a lot that every time we have talked you had said I love you except once but that was a day after and it was short

#

You sent a heart though that day

#

So I feel like it counts

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

I know you tell me you love me every time we talk but I’m just so anxious that you don’t or one day won’t

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I think I have a cold

#

Should I text you

#

I don’t want to be annoying

#

And I don’t really know what to say but I miss you

#

And I get emotional when I’m sick

#

I’m scared of messing everything up

#

I just want you

#

What if you mean the I love you platonically and I’m stupid for thinking it’s romantic

#

I think I’m just overthinking it

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I wish we could talk more but I know you have a lot going on that isn’t easy

#

I’m not upset with you

#

I just really miss you and love you

#

You’re also still my favorite person and I can just feel the dopamine when I talk to you

wanton nacelle
#

You changed your profile picture so I’m overthinking

#

That maybe you ignored my message last night

#

You probably didn’t

#

You probably read it and decide not to respond or something like that

#

I wish you left like reactions to let me know you have at least seen my messages

#

You also took inactive out of your bio

#

While that’s really good it also makes me overthink the same thing

#

One thing I think is absolutely adorable though is that you make sure your background matches your pfp

#

Every time you change it you make sure

#

It’s something I find cute

wanton nacelle
#

You answered

#

Why am I anxious today

#

I feel stupid

#

You did read the thing I wanted you to read

#

I hope it didn’t upset you

#

You seem upset but it could be something else

#

I wish you said I love you but I’m going to try not to overthink it

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

I just want to tell you that but I don’t want to be to much

wanton nacelle
#

You stopped answering and it worries me

#

What if I made a mistake telling you the I will wait for you

#

You didn’t seem angry the day I sent it but today you did

#

Ughh

#

I hate my brain

#

I have a headache and a sore throat on top of my anxiety

wanton nacelle
#

Should I text you today?

#

I don’t know tbh

#

I will think more about it later I guess

wanton nacelle
#

Should I text you

#

I don’t Even know what is the right thing is

#

I just know i love you

wanton nacelle
#

Maybe just saying hi or something

#

I’ll just send hey

#

And then not text you for a couple days I guess

#

Well I sent hey

#

I guess I can only hope for the best

#

I’m just worried that you one day won’t be in my life permanently

#

And I’m scared of being the reason that happens

wanton nacelle
#

You are all I can think about

#

I miss you so much

#

I know we talked a little yesterday but you were so blunt

#

You just seemed upset or angry about something

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t want to ever stop loving you

#

I don’t want you to ever stop loving me

#

I want to tell you I love you :/

#

But I’m scared to do so

wanton nacelle
#

I love you more then anything

#

We didn’t talk today

#

But that doesn’t mean anything right?

wanton nacelle
#

You never answered yesterday :(

#

I’m home sick today

#

I have a bad cold

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

I feel so just off because of not feeling well

#

I really wish we could talk today

#

You always helped me feel better even when you weren’t trying and just being yourself

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I hope you still love me

#

I just wish you were here to tell me those kind things and right words you always say

wanton nacelle
#

I want to tell you I love you right now

wanton nacelle
#

You went on and changed your profile picture…

#

Which means you just ignored what I said

#

Did I mess up?

#

Maybe I should have never told you I would wait for you

#

Maybe that upset you

#

Should I just give up?

#

I don’t want to give up

#

I love you

#

I don’t want to live a life without you

wanton nacelle
#

Please don’t be gone forever

#

You are all I can think about

#

I will wait for you

#

I don’t believe you are doing this as a way to harm me but a way to keep yourself feeling better

wanton nacelle
#

Please still love me

wanton nacelle
#

I probably shouldn’t message you today

#

Sense you seem like you aren’t up for talking anymore right now

#

I Hope this isn’t permanent

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I wish you would talk to me

#

I don’t know what happened

wanton nacelle
#

I just want you

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I miss my favorite person

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

I hope we Talk soon

wanton nacelle
#

I want my person

#

I feel so crappy because of this cold

#

Makes me feel like I can’t breathe because of stupid coughing fits

#

And then I worry and panic

wanton nacelle
#

I really miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t know what to do

#

Do I send another text or wait for you to reach out

#

I hate the fact that I don’t know what to do

wanton nacelle
#

I texted you

#

I don’t think you are going to answer

#

But I want you to know I care

#

And I want to be able to say hey at least I tried and not hold regret

wanton nacelle
#

Maybe you don’t want me…

#

Maybe I read you wrong

#

And that’s why you aren’t talking to me

#

Maybe I was told bold saying what I thought… telling you I will wait

#

You just seemed so blunt and bothered when I asked about if you had seen it

#

So maybe I have this whole thing wrong and I just messed up my chance to have you in my life

wanton nacelle
#

5 days sense you last talked to me

#

I just don’t know what to do

#

I want to wait for you but what if that’s not what you want

#

I love you still

#

Please come back

#

I also really feel like I should apologize to you but I’m not sure if I should because I really didn’t do anything wrong I just feel like I upset you but I don’t actually know if I did

#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I just want to be your Sam again

#

I miss you so much

wanton nacelle
#

I hope you don’t hate me now

#

I just looked at when you told me you loved me for the first time

#

I was so obviously and didn’t know you were talking about me

#

I remember getting so sick to my stomach when you said you were in love with some guy

#

That guy was me

#

That was some of the best news I had ever gotten in my life

#

I miss you

#

I still love you so much

#

I hope you still love me a lot

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

Still nothing from you

#

I miss you

#

You were talking to me so much… and now you have just disappeared again

#

Did you fall out of love this time

#

I really hope you didn’t

#

I don’t want to not have you in my life

#

💜

wanton nacelle
#

I love you so much…

wanton nacelle
#

It’s been two days sense I texted you

#

I just want to talk to you

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

Today was a bad day

#

These two kids mocked everything I said for no reason

#

It reminded me why I never talk in all but two classes

wanton nacelle
#

It’s been 7 days sense we last talked

#

It hurts

#

Everything hurts

#

I really just wish you were here with me

#

I don’t really feel like trying to do anything anymore

wanton nacelle
#

I decide to text you

#

In the hopes you answer and maybe that can improve my day

#

I love you

#

I Hope you aren’t gone like my anxiety tells me you are

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I haven’t stopped loving you in the past 3 months

#

Please don’t be gone

#

Please come back

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

I really miss you

#

Please be okay and safe

#

That’s just came to my mind and it scares me a lot

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

Please be okay and safe

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

Please come back

#

It’s been 8 days

#

Don’t be gone again

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

I love you…

#

Please be safe

wanton nacelle
#

I just wish you were here with me

#

I really miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

#

I just want you here

#

Please

#

Come back

#

I miss you

#

I just want my favorite person

wanton nacelle
#

I really just want my favorite person

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

I feel like I should let you know that I’m here for you

#

But I’m also scared to text you

#

I know getting a lot of texts can be a trigger for you and I don’t want to make anything worse

#

But I also know realistically you meant in like an hour not a couple days

#

I just don’t really know what’s right

#

I want to be there for you

#

I want you in my life

#

I love you

#

I want you to know these things if you don’t already

wanton nacelle
#

I Sent a text to you

#

Silenced it just in case

#

I really don’t want to make you upset

wanton nacelle
#

I love you…

#

I will wait

#

But please be safe

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back…

#

I miss you so much

wanton nacelle
#

Please i don’t want it to get to ten days again

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t want to be alone anymore

#

I miss everyone

#

I miss you

#

I miss the people I use to be friends with that just stopped talking to me

#

I miss my grandma and grandpa

#

I miss everyone

#

I don’t want be alone anymore

#

I miss feeling Like i knew who i was

#

I don’t feel like myself anymore

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I could tell you I’ve been accepted into one of the schools I sent application to

#

With a scholarship

#

I really want to tell you that

#

I want you to be proud of me

wanton nacelle
#

I would do anything to have you back

wanton nacelle
#

10 days…

#

Why?

#

I saw a V in the sky

#

:/

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I still love you with all my heart

#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

I really didn’t want it to get to 10 days but it’s going to go past it isn’t it…

#

I’ve never loved anyone like I love you

wanton nacelle
#

I just want my favorite person

wanton nacelle
#

I really miss you

#

It’s hard without you

#

Please don’t be gone

#

12 sense you last said you love me

#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

Thank you for making me realize I don’t need to be scared of love

wanton nacelle
#

I can feel the anxiety in my chest

wanton nacelle
#

You’re gone…

#

You probably have someone else

#

I’m just stupid

wanton nacelle
#

But I still love you

#

Did you really mean it when you said you love me

#

Why

#

Why did you leave

#

Please come back

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

It hurts

#

I’m still going to wait for you

#

I want to have hope for us

#

But I will work on me

#

I don’t want to give up on you because when I was scared of loving you and said I needed time because AP testing (I’m sorry for lying it just sounds really bad and I didn’t want to lose you) you waited for me

#

You wanted to wait

#

You ignored people’s advances to wait for me

#

You could of had other people but you didn’t

#

So I will try my best to do the same for you

wanton nacelle
#

I want my favorite person back

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

13 days sense you said you love me… please still love me

wanton nacelle
#

I dont want to give up on you

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back

#

I miss you so much

#

You gave up on me…didn’t you…

wanton nacelle
#

You aren’t coming back… are you

#

I want you to come back still

#

I still love you

#

12 days…

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you… please come back

#

I would do anything

#

Why did you leave again

#

Why did you say you love me to just leave me again

wanton nacelle
#

I really want my favorite person

#

Why did you leave

#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

I so badly wanted you to be at my graduation…

#

Or at least get to tell you about it

#

But now it doesn’t look like life is going my way

#

I would have never thought at 17 that I would be rapped in the dinosaur blanket my grandfather got me when I was 3…. Crying my eyes out, listening to sad songs. Hoping the person I love more then anything would come back…the person I thought I would spend maybe my life with…

#

I go all in… what can I say

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you…

#

Please come back

#

I would do anything

#

That’s all I want

#

I just want you

#

I want my favorite person please

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

You are gone aren’t you…

#

I hate it

#

Come back please

#

I still love you

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back

#

That’s all I want is you in my life

#

Please

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back one day

#

Because I don’t want someone better… I want you to be better for me and me to be better for you

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

You are still my favorite person

#

I love you

#

But I will try to be happy

#

For me

wanton nacelle
#

Did you plan to leave again…

#

Was that the whole idea?

#

Get my hopes up and crush them all over again

#

I know it’s not but I can’t help but wonder

#

Because you said you love me almost every time we talked and then you left all over again

#

That hurts

#

That doesn’t make me feel like you love me

#

But maybe you don’t mean to hurt me… I mean from what I know about bpd they tend to leave

#

I should just accept that the person I love is gone…

#

I don’t want to

#

I want to believe that you will come back

#

We are meant for each other

#

But I shouldn’t have false hope

wanton nacelle
#

You will always be my favorite chapter of my book

#

My favorite book

#

Cause I could write a whole book… a chapter wouldn’t be able to describe you in the way I would want

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back one day

#

That’s all I could ask for

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

But I’m going to do one good thing each day at the end of the day

#

And say it here

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t feel like I can do this anymore

#

I hate everyday without you

#

I love you

#

Why did you leave?

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back one day

#

Did you give up on me?

#

Please come back

wanton nacelle
#

Good thing of today is I talked to my therapist and she told me I should say goodbye to you. But I came up with an idea that allows me to wait for you and be happy

#

I’m going to actually work to be happy

#

Maybe you said goodbye to me…. And I will accept that eventually

#

But for now I will continue to wait but also work on me, work on improving my mental health

#

I will always love you. I know that. But I want to be happy

wanton nacelle
#

I still love you

wanton nacelle
#

I hope you know I still love you

#

And will never give up on you

#

I know you need someone who will never give up on you and i promised you I would be that

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

Maybe everyone is right… maybe I can’t be happy while still waiting here for you

#

But I can’t give up on you

#

I want to be happy

#

I want to be happy with leaving you in the past completely

#

But I feel like you might have left me in the past

#

I hope you didn’t but what do I know

#

One day I will learn to accept the fact you are gone

#

And probably never coming back

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I could ask you to promise me that you will come back one day. Just for a conversation… that can be it

#

The last I love you was 18 days ago…

wanton nacelle
#

I want my favorite person

wanton nacelle
#

Maybe in another life I get to be with you

wanton nacelle
#

Today I learned what love really is

#

And that’s just wanting that person to be happy no matter what

wanton nacelle
#

I still miss you and it still hurts so much

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

You are still my favorite person

#

I guess I need to accept I will most likely never talk to you again

wanton nacelle
#

Realizing someone who you thought would always be in your life isn’t going to be is very painful

#

I thought we were going to do so much stuff in the future

#

I thought she would get to see me graduate

#

You won’t… you won’t see me graduate

#

I guess I won the I love you more because I still love you

wanton nacelle
#

I hope there is a life or world out there where we are able to be together forever…

#

I just read an old text where you told me you planned to spend the rest of your life with me

#

That hurts

#

Like a punch to the gut because that’s all I could ever want

#

And it won’t happen

#

I was kind of scared of it at the time but I wish I had said me too

wanton nacelle
#

Even though you are gone you are still the reason I truly get out of bed in the morning. The reason I go to school. The reason I still fight everyday. I never thought someone would affect me like that… but you did

wanton nacelle
#

I love you…

#

I wish I could call you

wanton nacelle
#

You are all I think about

#

That is very hard

#

But I will move on and live life

#

I suppose that is what you would want me to do

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I love you… I do think I always will

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I could call you

#

I just want to be with you

wanton nacelle
#

I really wanted you to be the one

#

I still do…

#

But I know it’s unrealistic to want that now

#

I wish I could walk away as easily as you do…

#

You don’t seem to even think back to me but I think about you all day

#

I just want my favorite person back

#

I’m hugging the stuff animal that reminds me of you

#

I really miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I still love you after everything

#

It’s hard

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

#

I still want to wait for you but I also am 99% sure you aren’t coming back

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I really wish you didn’t leave

#

I think about you all the time.. it suck

wanton nacelle
#

Maybe I just need to accept it and move on

#

Just say it’s done and you will never come back

#

Finalize everything…but I don’t want to

#

I still love you

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I was someone’s favorite person

#

I wish I had you

#

I wish I felt better

wanton nacelle
#

I’m very grateful for my friend who has helped through everything I’ve been going through

#

I still miss you yes but I feel like I have some always there ready to say that I can do this. I can get to tomorrow

wanton nacelle
#

You changed everything on your discord

#

And still ignore me

wanton nacelle
#

You really are gone

wanton nacelle
#

It hurts a lot

#

I just wish I knew more about what was going on

wanton nacelle
#

Just be happy… that’s all I ask

#

I will try to be happy too

#

Goodbye to you and us and the dreams we wanted

wanton nacelle
#

I still miss you though

#

It’s very confusing

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you still

#

But I’m really trying to accept that you and I aren’t meant to be

#

It’s something I don’t want to do and never thought I would have to do

#

It sucks

#

And hurts

#

I still love you…

#

I still just want you

wanton nacelle
#

I still fear I will always love

wanton nacelle
#

I love you

#

But I will be okay

#

I do really miss you truly

#

But I know that at the very least we can’t be together right now

#

I think I will always love you in some way

wanton nacelle
#

I reached out to a close friend I accidentally pushed away after you broke up with me

#

I didn’t mean to

#

But I did

#

It was nice to talk to him even with the short conversation

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you still

wanton nacelle
#

It really hurts

wanton nacelle
#

You are still all I can think about…

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I love you so much still

#

It hurts to go through everyday without you

#

Just watching the number grow on the last time we talked

#

It’s been 22 days

#

Going to be a month in no time

#

I wish accepting it can’t be us and saying goodbye to you in my own way made it hurt less

wanton nacelle
#

I’m supposed to start feeling better now, right?

#

Why do I not feel any different

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

wanton nacelle
#

I still miss

#

You

#

And I still love you

#

And I stalk really want you back with me

#

It’s hard

#

And hurts

#

I want to text you so badly

#

I just want you

#

I don’t want to live my life without you

wanton nacelle
#

It hard very hard

#

I hate it

#

I hate being with out you

#

I’m really trying to be okay

#

I know all I do is complain here but I really don’t have anywhere to go and just get these types of thoughts out

#

You still mean so much to me

#

I still want to be with you

#

I still want to grow old with you

#

I want you still

wanton nacelle
#

I never really believed or understood what people meant when they said it felt like a piece of them was missing

#

I now understand more then ever

#

I feel like a piece of me is missing without you

#

It’s strange

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

A lot

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

#

I still love you so very much

#

It hurts without you

#

I want to text you

#

I just want you

wanton nacelle
#

I wish I could call you

wanton nacelle
#

Why do I still want to wait for you?

#

Why don’t you just block me if you really don’t want to talk to me or have me in your life

#

I just saw a thing that said even if relationships don’t last forever that doesn’t mean they weren’t good or successful

#

And while it was talking about dating and stuff I want to also take it as with friendships

#

So A, J, L, and V… just because you left and it’s over… I still think our relationship was successful. I hope you feel the same way. I look back and see so many good moments. I wish it could have lasted so much longer especially you V. One thing that I don’t like is the fact I never got to say goodbye.

#

Even with me wishing it feels successful it really doesn’t

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t feel like I can do this anymore

wanton nacelle
#

Why do I have to love someone who has forgotten about me?

#

Or at least it feels like you have

wanton nacelle
#

It hurts a lot

#

I would do anything to have you back with me

wanton nacelle
#

You promised you wouldn’t leave me

wanton nacelle
#

It hurts so much

#

I hate being here without you

#

I really wanted you to be the one

#

Why don’t things work out in my favor ever

wanton nacelle
#

I want to be worth fighting for

wanton nacelle
#

I still love you

#

I just want you

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t want it to get to a month sense I last talked to you

#

I hate every second of this

#

I just want my favorite person

#

Why are you still my favorite person

wanton nacelle
#

I do miss you today

#

But I’ve been busy

#

It’s the start of the new semester

#

I hate lunch

#

I can’t help but think about you

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

#

I wish you were here

#

I wish you never left

#

I wanted you to be the one

#

I thought you were perfect for me

wanton nacelle
#

I really wish I could call you

#

I wish I could go back in time

#

I wish I could of had you in my life longer

wanton nacelle
#

I don’t know how to stop loving you

#

My love for you doesn’t feel like it has lessened a bit

#

Other things have like trust and belief you will come back

#

But the love I have for you hasn’t gone away at all

#

Why haven’t I stopped loving you when it feels like you have stopped loving me

wanton nacelle
#

Maybe I do have a fighting chance to be happy

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I still want to wait for you but that is probably a bad idea

#

It’s late I’m going to try not to think about that I need sleep

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you

#

I hope you are well

wanton nacelle
#

I really want to cry

#

I miss you more than anything

#

I hate that in no time it will be a month all over again

#

I hate that I can’t seem to move on

#

I still love you with all my heart

#

I just want you

#

I don’t want anyone else

#

But things aren’t going my way

#

And I want to give up and never try again

#

I hate this

#

I want to cry

wanton nacelle
#

I really want to text you

#

I don’t want it to get to a month again

#

I just want to be happy

wanton nacelle
#

Please come back in my life one day even just as friends

wanton nacelle
#

You texted me today

#

About me telling you to be happy

#

You said you’re trying and you thanked me

#

I said I’m glad because it felt like the right thing to do

#

I’m happy you are trying to be happy

#

And I see now that you probably left the second time to work on yourself and try to be happy

wanton nacelle
#

I want to text you again

#

Remind you that I’m here if you need me

#

By I shouldn’t

#

I miss you

wanton nacelle
#

I had a bit of a panic attack over something really dumb

#

About your status being about wanting someone to hold your hand

#

But I just had to remind myself you are allowed to live your life

#

And I need to live mine

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you a lot

#

I still love you a lot too

wanton nacelle
#

I miss you so much

#

It hurts to love someone you can’t be with

wanton nacelle
#

I feel like I’m going to cry

wanton nacelle
#

I still love you….

wanton nacelle
#

I want to talk to you really badly

#

I’m not going to, I don’t think you want to

#

And I respect that