Eda’s Journal | Huddle | Page 5

elfin rover Feb 9, 2026, 9:57 PM

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I still don't have any more information about what I need to buy for the nursing program

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and everything just feels so hard rn

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nothing is going right and I just can't seem to do anything right

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why can't things just go well

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I haven't had a job since last year and they ended up screwing me over in that job

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I'm running out of money and the nursing program is about to be expensive

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I need to buy scrubs, my kit, new shoes, a watch

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and who knows what else... I don't, they still haven't sent out the dang information packet

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I'm so tired

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why do I even try this hard

elfin rover Feb 9, 2026, 11:23 PM

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Boyfriend asked me if I wanted to be picked up 🥺🥺

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That’s so cute

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(It’s snowing and gross out)

elfin rover Feb 18, 2026, 6:10 AM

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The email finally came

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With all the info

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I can buy my shoes now ig

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They’re flippin expensive

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But oh well

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It’s not like I’m going to spend over 200 dollars on other stuff for next semester anyways

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😭 😭

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No but fr on top of tuition im going to have to spend 1,300 ish dollars

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It’s crazyyyy

elfin rover Feb 21, 2026, 6:49 AM

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So sleepy

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This week has been exhausting

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Next week is going to be worse

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So is the week after that

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I wish I could just stop time and rest

elfin rover Feb 26, 2026, 6:59 AM

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The mixed emotions I’ve been feeling…

elfin rover Mar 1, 2026, 8:46 PM

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Ugh things just got worse

elfin rover Mar 9, 2026, 6:25 AM

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Things have been better but also apparently today has been a dumpster fire here at home

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Apparently words were said and the cops were called to my apartment

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So that was… interesting

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I haven’t been home all day

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So I found this out by word-of-mouth

elfin rover Mar 20, 2026, 5:10 AM

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I finished sewing my shirt!!!!

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It has buttons and everything

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And I found a place to live next semester

elfin rover Mar 23, 2026, 6:39 AM

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I’m scared

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The current state of the world is so frightening

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I don’t want war to happen

elfin rover Mar 27, 2026, 3:50 AM

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Yall I hate my apartment’s management

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They failed my clean check because I didn’t do something the way they wanted me to clean it

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I don’t get it

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I hate this place and I never want to come back

elfin rover Mar 31, 2026, 5:41 AM

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Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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I got my clinical rotation assignments today

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I’m so incredibly excited

elfin rover Apr 2, 2026, 6:28 AM

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Almost done

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I have like

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Three more days of classes left

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And exams

elfin rover Apr 19, 2026, 3:50 PM

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I’ve been on spring break

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It was only a little over a week

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But hopefully that was enough to help ahaha

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Tomorrow I start nursing schoolllllll

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I have pharmacology bright and early

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And then orientation

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I’m a little scared now

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But mostly excited

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This semester will be good

elfin rover Apr 20, 2026, 5:03 AM

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First day of nursing school starts in 10 hoursssss

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huddlewowsparkle

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Eeeeeeeeeee

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I’m so excited

elfin rover Apr 21, 2026, 3:15 AM

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Had pharmacology today

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We didn’t go over that much stuff ngl

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But that’s good

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Tmr I get to wear my scrubs hehe

elfin rover Apr 23, 2026, 6:02 PM

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Almost done with week one

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So far so good

elfin rover Apr 26, 2026, 5:43 AM

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WOOOO WEEK ONE IS DONE

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it’s been pretty good so far

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I did my first skills pass-off and got 100, so that’s neat

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I was so scared tho it was actually insane

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I had to act out a patient scenario and it’s so awkward hahaha

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I had to talk to the mannequin while my teacher did it’s voice 😭😭

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But I’m all done with this week’s assignments and everything

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I can’t wait to see what next week will bring me :)

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(And then the week after that I have orientation for my clinical rounds, whaaaat)

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Im so scared to actually go take care of real people

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I’m going to have to go use these skills I’m just barely learning to take care of real, live people 😭😭

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I can barely find my roommate’s blood pressure, how can I find some elderly patent’s BP 😭😭

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It’ll be good though

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I bet they’ll teach us tricks

elfin rover Apr 27, 2026, 5:42 PM

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going to try and work through some anxiety before I get started on my schoolwork

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I feel overwhelmed about just how much I have to get done, I feel anxious about finances, I feel lonely and alone, I'm worried about getting everything done and about doing well on my assignments

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to feel less overwhelmed, I can organise myself (like I'm already planning) so that I know everything that needs to get done this week.

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The ridiculous amount of fees/charges I had to pay today are necessary to my education. It sucks I had to pay that much money, but It's necessary and I still have enough money for other things. It doesn't feel good to spend that much money at once, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I should keep an eye on my finances, but I don't have to feel guilty for "spending" that much money

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I need to remind myself that my worth is not determined by my grades and I'm learning new things, so of course it's going to be scary. It's okay to make mistakes as long as I learn from them.

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I can hang out with my friends/roommates later today and call bf, too.

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I think I should eat something, that would probably help me feel better

elfin rover May 1, 2026, 6:04 AM

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Woo tonight has been… something.

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I think I’m realising what my problem is

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I have no sense of self-identity

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I don’t have the ability to be honest with myself and know what I want/need

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I am incapable of defending the few things I decide when questioned by anyone.

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This is hurting me and my relationships

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I need to fix this

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(So low-key if anyone has any advice, I’m ALL EARS)

elfin rover May 8, 2026, 5:42 AM

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Ok time to do some thinking so I can have a proper conversation tomorrow

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I want to be excited and so ready

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I want to be sure and know it’s right

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I want to be able to talk about it and make all the plans that I’ve ever dreamed of

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But for some reason I can’t

elfin rover May 10, 2026, 4:47 AM

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Wow

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I haven’t felt like this in a while

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Dying feels easier than whatever I’m dealing with

elfin rover May 11, 2026, 6:00 AM

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I can’t sleep

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I need to sleep so badly

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I want to sleep

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I’m so tired and exhausted

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But I can’t sleep

elfin rover May 13, 2026, 6:49 AM

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Ughhhh

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I feel like I can’t breathe

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It’s so uncomfortable and noticing it makes me feel it more and then that just makes it worse

elfin rover May 14, 2026, 11:59 PM

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Just worked my first hospital shift ✨✨

elfin rover May 19, 2026, 5:58 AM

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Omg ok it was a CHAOTIC weekend but I survived

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I’m kinda disappointed in myself

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I got pretty bad grades on two of the exams

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The skill exam went fine… that’s the only one that I think it’s probably kinda hard to fail if you’ve practiced the skill

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I didn’t give myself enough time for the pharmacology exam and idk what went wrong with the fundamentals exam

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I’m also upset at myself that I kept putting off doing my homework when it literally in all took like… a little over an hour

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I could have done that and then gotten a little ahead (hehe) and then still had some time to wind down and rest for the night

elfin rover May 23, 2026, 6:08 AM

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I’m so burnt outttt

elfin rover Jun 1, 2026, 5:13 AM

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I’m feeling a little bit better

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Honestly I think I need more social interaction

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I forget I’m a social person

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But I desperately need social interaction

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But it’s hard when you feel like everyone in your classes hate you and don’t want anything to do with you and think you’re annoying…

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I know I should make more of an effort, but I feel like nobody likes me and I’d rather not look stupid

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Idk…

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Also I’m fairly certain I’m bisexual (well… Biromantic bc I do know I’m definitely asexual)

elfin rover Jun 1, 2026, 10:18 PM

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-# happy pride

#Eda’s Journal