Ezra's Journal | Huddle | Page 2

iron terrace Jan 14, 2025, 3:46 PM

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and she’s making fun of my insecurities

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and she wonders why I’m closer to Zyro than to her

iron terrace Jan 23, 2025, 2:58 AM

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(Entry #207)
1/22/2025 21:58 ~ Life recently

TW: ||Underage drinking||

hey guys so I’m bored so here’s some life updates :

My brother and I were home alone after school, ||so he dared me to have a sip of some of our parent’s Vodka. I did and THAT SHIT WAS SO SPICY I SPAT IT OUT IMMEDIATELY||
Me and my brother almost burned our house down cause we were making smores and they caught on fire.
I was doing witchcraft and almost burned my house down! 🥰
I tried calling Zyro and accidentally called Ophelia AND SHE FUCKING PICKED UP.
I’m applying for Key Club Secretary for next year!
Ellie is being toxic. The second Zyro comes back to our hometown I’m making him send a message for me.
I got posted on one of my school’s “Bop pages” (I have 0 bodies, been in 1 actual relationship, and have had 1 kiss)

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Also here’s a few drawings I made in my sketchbook (drawing class)

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also me and my brother skipped class (just spent 10 minutes) together for the first time cause I was bored in theatre

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😛

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and look what I found at school

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ATLEAST I DONT NEED TO BE HERE NEXT YEAR 📣📣

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Ellie is being so fucking toxic though

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no wonder im her only fucking friend good god

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Bodyshaming me in front of guys when she herself has a boyfriend

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the bitch has been run through more times than a track field my god

iron terrace Feb 1, 2025, 4:51 AM

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(Entry #208)
1/31/2025 23:51 ~ How I hit 125g grams of protein a day

hey guys, haven’t posted in some time, so here’s what I chose to post! Mind you meals might be different depending on goals. Here’s what I typically eat, ranging from small to big meals:

Grade A White Eggs (6g each)
Mac & Cheese (7g)
Spaghetti-O’s (6g)
Spaghetti-O’s with Meatballs (9g)
Fairlife Core Power Chocolate Protein Shake (26g)
Fairlife Chocolate Milk (13g)
Fairlife White Milk (13g)
Publix Spicy Buffalo Chicken (18g)
Normal Chicken (18g)
Chicken Caesar Salad (32g)
Chicken Burrito Bowl (47g)
Chicken & Guac (31g)
Grilled Shrimp Salad (25g)
Grilled Chicken Salad (35g)
Loaded Buffalo Chicken Fries (46g)
Chicken Quesadilla (54g)
Beef & Cheese Burritos (47g)
Grilled Chicken Alfredo Pasta (59g)
Grilled Cheese (16g)
High Protein Snack Boxes (I can do in-debt on that another time)
Peanut Butter & Honey Museli Bowl (36g)
Yogurt & Nuts (40g)
Avacado (3-4g)
Rolled Oats (5g)
Granola (~2.8g)

I don’t eat all of it everyday. I also have a lot more that I’m too tired to write. Also, remember that you should always balance food. Eat protein, but also fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, and healthy carbs. Also remember that it’s okay to eat unhealthy stuff, as long as you can maintain it. Guilt is not an ingredient.

iron terrace Feb 5, 2025, 1:37 AM

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(Entry #209)
2/4/2025 20:37 ~ All schools I’m gonna mention

(Mods before you remove this, these are fake names. I just went to ChatGPT and looked up some unique names, but I’m tired of saying “Highschool choice #1”, it’s easier this way.)

Crimson Peak - My old Highschool #1 choice, and now it’s #2. all about AICE, Arts, and Dual Enrollment.
Stormwatch - My old Highschool #2 choice, now #3. all about veterinary, science, and has some fashion classes.
Eaglebrook - My old #3 choice, now #1. Ophelia, Amara, and all my friends go here. All about IB and sports.
Starlight Ridge - My old highschool #4, still 4th. Nothing fancy, just a good school.
Lakeside - My current school. Fucking hate this place. All assholes and drugs. Been my #5 choice forever.
Evergreen - Highschool choice #6. Zuri’s school. Would do anything NOT to go here. One of the worst schools in the district. Full of drugs, alcohol, bullying, violence, and assholes.
Maplewood - Zuri’s old school. First semester. Boring as fuck.
Redwood - Zuri’s old school. Second semester. FULL of violence, worse than Evergreen.
Northwave - My middle school.
Lighthouse - Ellie’s middle school.
Willow Creek - My elementary school. (1-4th, didn’t go 5th because of covid)
Golden Fields - My old elementary school (Pre-K to Kindergarten)
Fern Valley - My old preschool.
Ravenrose - Aurora’s current middle school.
Moonflower - Ellie’s (most likely) future high school

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If I’m still active in this, I’ll discuss university in a few years. There’s too many universities I have in mind to write.

iron terrace Feb 8, 2025, 2:53 AM

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(Entry #210)
2/7/2025 21:52 ~ My goodbye letter to Ellie

I’ve chosen. I’m not going back.
It won’t be today. It won’t be tomorrow. But the second they’re able to transfer me out, she will be out of my life.

I made a letter just to say my goodbyes. It’s unfortunate, but I can’t anymore.

Here is is.
I showed my friends. They were proud of me, but some had different responses. I was unable to copy & paste it because it was WAY over the 2,000 character limit.

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What do we think?

📋 - Perfect.
📝 - Be nicer.
🗒️ - Be meaner (Aurora suggests because of the hell she put me through)
📑 - GIVE ZYRO THE PHONE. (Zyro suggests once he comes back to our hometown)

iron terrace Feb 9, 2025, 3:26 PM

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(Entry #211)
2/9/2025 10:26 ~ I see my reflection in your eyes

TW: ||Death of a minor, suicide||

Yesterday at 1:48pm, I got a message from the family group chat, from my brother.
||“My best friend just died”||.
||He was asking to go to the funeral, even though it was all the way in Texas.||

My brother and his girlfriend were worried because he hasn’t been online recently or replying to his texts. So they messaged his sister, who told them to message his mom. She said ||he passed away because he tripped and fell, then he hit his head. Around an hour later, his mother found him unconscious on the floor, purple, and he never woke up||. ||He was only 17 years old, his entire life was ahead of him. He had dreams of becoming a drummer, him, my brother, and my brother’s girlfriend all had plans to meet during the summer. He was saving money to come to Florida. But, that’s all gone now||.

We don’t know if he’s going. He likely won’t, just because we won’t be able to afford to.

||But seeing his tears and begging, it made me remember, losing 3 of my friends to suicide. One of them being one of my closest.||

Then I came clean about what happened in 7th grade. I never told him. I just went through it with Ophelia and Zyro.

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AND OH MY FUCKING GOD

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ELLIE IS MAKING THIS ABOUT HERSELF

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I didn’t wanna talk to her yesterday because I was busy with my brother

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And she’s making it about herself

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“Oh now you wanna be nice?”

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BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE NICE TO ME.

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Ever since she got with her boyfriend she’s been such a fucking asshole

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She kinda replaced me earlier this school year with her ex but it wasn’t too bad

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It’s only gotten worse since she got a new boyfriend

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I’m sending this to her:

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“Ellie. I love you and all. But I’m tired of this. I feel like everyday is just a fight about something. I get you’re happy, but I feel like all you’ve been doing is replacing me with (her bf). I’m sorry I didn’t call you last night, but my brother was going through a huge state of depression, and he still is. I apologize if I came off rude last night.”

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Watch her victimize herself now 🤦‍♀️

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CALLED KT

iron terrace Feb 15, 2025, 10:29 PM

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(Entry #212)
2/15/2025 17:29 ~ Life updates, again.

Been a few days, a lot has happened. So let’s talk.

I passed my ESB certification with a 718. 😛
Got a 90% on my art project
||When I was done with my art project, I decided to paint something. So I pulled out this jar of black paint. I opened it.. and it was HUMAN PEE. Not mold or anything, literal human pee. I almost cried.||
Besides that, I got an 82% on my English packet and a 70% on my biology test
We’re choosing our academies! We put 4 choices. My top 4 are business, visual art (drawing, painting, pottery, etc), theatre arts, and medical.
VALENTINES WITHOUT THE HUZZ 😞 (it’s okay tho I got @strange river 😋)
I finally cut Ellie off. And honestly. I’ve been feeling a hundred times better since. As usual she’s victimizing herself but idc, anybody who actually knows me knows the truth.
I finally have a lil friend group in biology.
Been getting so many compliments on how I smell lately 😍
I don’t think Emerson fw me anymore guys they’ve been avoiding me and barely reply to my texts 😓
Might be getting Invisalign soon to get rid of my overbite
My nose and forehead randomly decreased like 3x in size.
My eyes randomly changed their shape (hooded to almond) and my eyelashes became longer (plus more curled) ☺️
My eyes also randomly changed colors. It used to just be blue but I’m seeing a slight chartreuse (green)/hazel color in my right eye.
Yesterday, for the one year anniversary of us getting Bacon. We brought him to my dad’s school.

So yeah

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ANYWAYS

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what do yall want me to post next:

🧴- hygeine routine to smelling good
🐟 - what happened between me and Ellie that caused me to block her instead of wait
📚 - weird things my marketing teacher has done/said
🥙 - What I like to buy from the grocery store to feed my fatass
📖 - something else school related
🍵 - drama at my school
👁️ - eyelash routine
🫧 - something else/whatever I want

iron terrace Feb 20, 2025, 2:55 PM

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(Entry #213)
2/20/2025 9:55 ~ UPDATED eyelash routine!

Hey chat, new day new entry! Heres an updated eyelash routine that grew them from basically non-existent, to there, to long and Lucious.

(OF COURSE, you don’t need all of these. These just helped me!)

Viebeauti Eyelash Serum (Been using since 7th grade! From Amazon)
Kuza 100% Pure Jamaican Black Castor Oil (Got from Publix)
GreenIVE 100% Cold Pressed Castor Oil (From Amazon)
Kate Blanc Cosmetic’s Certified Organic Castor Oil (Amazon)
IBERIA Premium Blend Sunflower Oil & Extra Virgin Olive Oil (From Amazon, but I’ve seen at Walmart.)
Cliganic Argan Oil (From Amazon. When it comes to Argan oil make sure it’s 100% from Morocco!)
Handcraft Blend’s Organic Jojoba Oil. (Got from Amazon)
Handcraft Blend’s 100% Pure Sweet Almond Oil (Amazon, again)
And finally, Amazon Fresh’s Organic Coconut Oil (From Amazon ofc)

ANYWAYS CHAT SO I HAVE KEY CLUB TODAY AND IM APPLYING FOR SECRETARY I HAVE TO DO A SPEECH AND IM NEEVOUS AS HELL PLS PRAY FOR ME CHAT 💔💔

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also I realized I made a mistake here, Veronica was 4’7, she told us once 🤧

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ABYWAYS BESIDES THAT

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We’re doing my IEP meeting soon and my math teacher was so dramatic in her email to my teacher

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BUT OK

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HE ASKED ME IF I WSNT STUDY HALL NEXT YEAR I SAID YES

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BUT IM SXARED BC I WONT HAVE A SCIENCE CLASS (I did it on flvs) AND PROB NOT A ECONOMICS CLASS EOTGER

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I might have economics idk

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But I’m choosing not to do medical cause there’s no way I’m getting accepted. I chose news production as my fourth choice because the teacher is chill (she’s my student government teacher)

iron terrace Feb 22, 2025, 4:14 PM

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(Entry #214)
2/22/2025 11:14 ~ Hygiene routine to smell good

been doing these since seventh grade and I still don’t know how the fuck to start it off BUT ANYWAYS, here’s a routine I use to smell like Rose, Peony, Strawberries, Plum, Vanilla, and Hibiscuis! I’ve gotten compliments from my 7th-9th grade English teachers, biology teacher, middle school art teacher, 7th/8th grade ESE teacher, my old pottery teacher, my current drawing teacher, and a few people in my drama/art/biology/english/learning strat class + randomly in public.

This is a bit excessive, but I LOVE smelling good.

Wash sensitive areas with the Dove sensitive skin hypoallergenic bar
Dove Peony & Rose Oil Body Wash
Dove Pampering Shea Butter & Vanilla Body Wash
Olay’s White Strawberry & Mint 24HR Body Wash (doesn’t really smell like mint, just adds an extra cleanliness)
Exfoliate with the Dove Himalayan Salt & Rose Oil Body Scrub (once a week before shaving/waxing)
Tree Hut Moroccan Ross Body Wash
Tree Hut’s Moroccan Rose Moisturizing Shave Oil
Petal Fresh’z Hibiscuis & Papaya Body Butter
Johnson’s Baby Oil (Moisturizing + smells amazing)
Tree Hut’s Moroccan Rose Moisturizing Body Lotion
Dove’s Peony & Rose Water Roll-On Deodorant
Dove’s Rose Petals Spray-On Deodorant
Lattafa’s Asdaaf Ameerat Al Arab Prive Rose. (Perfume)
Victoria Secret Pure Seduction Fragrence Mist
Tree Hut Moroccan Rose’s Fragrence Mist
Finally, roll on some Zoha Rose Bloom Fragrence Oil.

This routine lasts me a long time and is very strong. Of course you don’t need to do all this, I just like to! 🌹❤️

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iron terrace Feb 23, 2025, 9:32 PM

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(Entry #215)
2/23/2025 16:32 ~ My huddle app info

hola everyone

so I forgot to mention this, and honestly completely forgot about this. But like 7 months ago I made an account on the official Huddle App.

I’m not really active on there. But sometimes I’ll just randomly go there to be nice to people and stuff.

If an issue like what happened 3 months ago happens again (hopefully it won’t but just incase!), where the huddle discord had to shut down for a bit, I’ll go there.

Thought I’d post this incase anything happened, or if anyone just wanted to follow me!

My user is @ezraol1! This is what my profile looks like.

iron terrace Mar 4, 2025, 4:07 AM

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(Entry #216)
3/3/2025 23:07 ~ Dove products I wanna try

Hi chat. Idrk what to post but here’s something random I stirred up. Not really a post that can be useful, more like a shopping list for me to look at later I might as well share. I won’t use all these at the same time, just sharing

Rosa Beauty Bar
Original Beauty Bar
Cool Moisture Beauty Bar
Vanilla Beauty Bar
Gentle Exfoliating Bar
Rejuvenating Pomegranate & Hibiscuis Beauty Bar
Reviltalizante Cherry Beauty Bar
Rebalancing Peach Beauty Bar
Anti-Stress Beauty Bar
Watermelon Exfoliating Bar (Like watermelon smells)
Anti-bacterial body wash
Hydration Boost Body Wash
Fresh Body Wash
Sensitive Skin Body Wash
Deep Moisture Body Wash
16.The coconut beauty bar & wash
Body Cream Repair Pro-Ceramide Serum for Rough Skin
The mango beauty bar and body wash
Body love Hand Cream for Rough Skin
Sensitive skin hand cream
Warm vanilla hand sanitizer
Deep moisture hand sanitizer
Sensitive skin hand wash
Volume & Fullness dry shampoo

I wanna try LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE dove product out there but here’s what I wanna try most. I don’t really have much interesting stuff going on in my life

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Next brands will probably be: Vaseline, Olay, Aquaphor, or something else like that

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But besides that

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Me and Ellie are friends again. I’m not gonna be super close with her because I actually gained self respect from what she did, but I’m still her friend and we’re still cool

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ALSO WE WERE PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK AND I HAD TO CLIMB A 30 FOOT LADDER.

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I didn’t realize how bad my fear of heights was until today like I kid you not I was almost hysterically sobbing

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And I had to go up and down 4 times. 🤧🤧

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But ok so my leopard gecko I barely mention (Milo) has been super active and outgrowing his cage so we got him a 50gallon

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Now all the boys got a big cage 😛😛 (Bacon has a 120gal, Milo has a 50gal, and Mango has a 67gal tall)

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Also idk if it’s just my dad but he keeps forgetting my pets names so here’s what they are:

Stacy (Female Calico Cat)
Oreo (Fat black cat)
Alex (little black cat)
Biscuit (Little orange feline)
Bacon (bearded dragon)
Milo (leopard gecko)
Pascal (dead chameleon)
Zuko (dead long-tailed lizard)
Mango (crested gecko)

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MANGO THRIVING AND OUTLIVING THE OTHER TWO 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

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(They all had the same cage just at different times since two of them died)

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Also my two little lizards are so small compared to their cage, especially Mango. Like 4 inches in a 67 gallon tank.

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Anyways see yall when I remember to post again 🎀

iron terrace Mar 10, 2025, 1:56 AM

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(Entry #217)
3/9/2025 21:56 ~ Things my marketing teacher has done and why I don’t like him

CW: ||Racism, a bunch of sexual/weird shit||

Told a girl “I like your hair in pigtails”
||Got fired from being the basketball coach for saying “Are you guys scared of the (racial slurs) on the other team?”||
||Grabbed a disabled girl’s waist||
||Started talking about how much he liked girls in tight/revealing clothing||
After crashing out in class said “I’m sorry you had to see me like this” to one of his female students.
||Humped a girl’s seat when she was sleeping in class||
||His obsession with all his female students (Especially the Latina/Blonde ones)||
||Told a group of ESOL students (all boys) “Stop speaking Spanish. This is America, If you wanna speak Spanish go back to your country.||
||Saw a female student’s bra strap and had to cover his..||
||He has 6+ accusations against him, he was laughing to the Algebra 2 teacher next to his class about it.||
His weird nicknames to the female students.
Made jokes of me and my friend in a lesbian relationship (which might not sound bad but the way he said it was creepy af)
When my friend was presenting he told her “Turn around, I have to see the back of you too.”
Told me he “liked how I looked like a Latina girl” (I’m guessing it’s cause of my hair? I don’t know but it was weird.)

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And totally unrelated but I feel so upset

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I know everyone’s getting tired of it and I’m sorry but it hurts

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I can’t tell if I should move on or keep trying

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I feel so hurt

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There’s this one video she reposted. I don’t know it’s it to joke about my mental health or hers. But it hurts.

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One day it’s her telling me I’m the most beautiful girl in the world. Telling me she loves me, she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. That I’m the reason she’s still alive and the reason she still has her sanity.

iron terrace Mar 10, 2025, 2:15 AM

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Bro this damn timeout bot

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WAS SBOUT TO FET REAL DEEP 🤧🤧

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Okay jokes aside

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I know I don’t deserve it. I know I didn’t deserve what she put me through. I know she didn’t treat me the best. But, she’s the best anyone’s treated me lovingly

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I just wanna be loved again

iron terrace Mar 11, 2025, 1:35 PM

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(Entry #218)
3/11/2025 9:35 ~ Deactivating insta

Now this would’ve been in all text format I think I triggered the bot. So I’m just gonna put screenshots of what I was gonna say.

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This doesn’t affect discord but since this is a mental health journal I might as well post it

iron terrace Mar 13, 2025, 10:58 PM

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(Entry #219)
3/13/2025 18:58 ~ How to smell just like Coconut

So this has literally nothing to do with mental health but idk I’m bored in first period so I’m gonna post this to help someone!

Here’s a routine to smell good. You don’t need all this, just posting for fun. This routine is just to smell like coconut.

Dove’s Body Wash Restoring & Coconut Body Wash ($6.44)
Dove’s Restoring Coconut Beauty Bar ($3.28)
Dove’s Brown Sugar & Coconut Body Scrub ($7.97)
Petal Fresh’s Smoothing Coconut Body Butter ($7.67)
Skintimate Coconut Shave Oil + Moisturizer ($6.49)
Dove’s Coconut Spray-On Deodorant ($7.99)
Skylar Coconut Cove Eau de Parfum ($30.00 for 10ml)
Victoria Secret’s Coconut Passion Body Mist ($15.96)
Kuumba Made Creamy Coconut Fragrance Oil ($9.97)

Total without fragrences: $39.84
Total with fragrances: $63.92

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NEXT ILL DO PINEAPPLE

iron terrace Mar 14, 2025, 10:44 AM

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(Entry #220)
3/14/2025 6:44 ~ How to smell just like pineapple

hey guys so summer is coming up (atleast for my fellow Americans 🦅) and a lot of people associate pineapple with summer so I might as well post it, even if it’s for the entire year!

Tree Hut’s Pineapple Shea Sugar Scrub for Exfoliating ($7.97)
Tree Hut’s Pineapple Foaming Gel Body Wash ($10.06)
Tree Hut’s Pineapple Whipped Shea Butter ($11.49)
Bath & Body Works Costa Rica Pink Pineapple Sunrise Body Mist ($8.95)

Total WITHOUT Body Mist: $29.52
Total WITH Body Mist: $38.47

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WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT NEXT?

🌺 - Hibiscus
🌹 - Soft Rose
🥀 - “Seductive” Rose (I don’t know how else to put it 😭)
🌸 - Cherry Blossom
🍯 - Honey
🍒 - Cherry
🍉 - Watermelon
🍑 - Peach
💐 - Floral (Different floral scents mixed together)
🍍 - Fruity (Different fruity scents mixed together)
🏖️ - Tropical (Coconut, Pineapple, Hibiscuis, Papaya, and Guava mixed)
🍓 - Strawberry
🍦 - Vanilla
🍫 - Chocolate
☕️ - Coffee

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This won’t be the only thing I post from now on, just when I’m bored and have nothing else to

iron terrace Mar 17, 2025, 3:27 AM

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(Entry #221)
3/16/2025 23:27 ~ Yes because having a good relationship with your brother is so wrong!

CW: Family issues

As I’ve mentioned before I have an older brother. He’s a senior in the same school as me.

We weren’t really close before the year started. But since we’re forced to be in the same place, of course we’re gonna build a relationship. We’ve been getting closer since the school year started. I’ve been hanging out with him every morning, I walk him to first period. I fuck around in his first period before going to class, the art teachers both know we’re siblings, we sometimes leave fourth period together to walk around, we go to places together all the time now, I think you get it. I’ve gotten closer to him. Not close like.. THAT way (It’ll make sense why I mentioned it in a bit) obviously, but closer family wise. And I also have a good relationship with his GIRLFRIEND of nearly a year.

I was talking to Ellie earlier ||Take note her parents don’t love her and her siblings aren’t active in her life)||, and it makes me remember why I dropped her. She was talking about how she was talking shit about me and how “I was so obsessed and only cared about my brother so that’s why I dropped her” (I dropped her because she was a shitty friend who only cared about her ugly ass boyfriend.) to one of our mutal friends and how our friend said “I was obsessed” ||(Mind you, her mom beats her dad isn’t very active, parents are going through a divorce, and her siblings are all young as hell,)|| with him.

First of all. Fuck yall “friends”. Fuck both of you. I hope I never have to see either of you after moving schools. I hope you both do horrible in life. I don’t care if you’re a teenager, you’re a shitty excuse of a human.

Second of all. I’m sorry you have a fucked up life. I didn’t know having a good relationship with your only sibling. I’m sorry that your family doesn’t love you! I get why they don’t love you! I wouldn’t either!

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(Continued) idc if that was rude honestly. I’m fucking tired of these bitches

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Acting like we’re best friends then talking shit behind my back

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Already regretting trying to be friends with Ellie again

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Bitch was crying about how “I’m talking shit about her” when I didn’t say A SINGLE THING about her. Nothing came out of my mouth about her when we stopped being friends

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Yet SHE wants to talk about me?

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And her boyfriend is saying how he doesn’t see this working out 💀

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I might sound mean as fuck for this but I feel so happy hearing the dude she changed for do this. We all warned her. It’s literally MULTIPLE of her friend’s exes, and he’s known for being a weirdo. Even Amara told me he was

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tried bringing peace and this is where it gets me!

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I’m tired of bitches making rumors about shit that isn’t even true. Are you not supposed to have a good relationship with your family??

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I don’t like most of my friends. I probably just sound fake but I’m earning a hatred towards everyone who isn’t Zyro, Amara, Zuri, Aurora, my brother, or my other out of school friends

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Anyways erm!

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So me and mango have been building a relationship. I have a relationship with bacon. Very strong ones with my cats, and a somewhat one with Milo

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But I’m gonna go to bed before I start writing another yap session about how much I’m starting to hate some of my friends (I know I sound fake but if you knew them and were in my position you’d understand too)

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PH

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Before I do sleep

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Mielle Organics commented on my TikTok videos three times now!

iron terrace Mar 19, 2025, 2:44 AM

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(Entry #222)
3/18/2025 22:44 Zyro visiting

So since it’s spring break Zyro decided to visit!

Aurora will also be here soon, but we won’t be hanging out with her today because by the time she arrives we’ll be asleep.

Zyro arrived quite early. He had to ask his friends to care for all his pets, he got a hotel room and at around 10am, we were all at Amara’s house together. Although we all missed Zyro dearly, it was clear I did most.

We spent the entire day at her house. Just messing around like usual. Whether it was filming silly videos, taking pictures, making food, or playing roblox, we had a lot of fun.
Here are some of my personal favorite moments from today:

We were playing 2-player only games (Carry an egg, Control a friend, drive it, bird buddy, roll a fat friend, classic & dog walk) [Me & Zyro + Amara & Zuri were the duos] and the entire time we were just yelling at eachother ☺️
We were making tacos and Zyro randomly screamed “STOP FUCKING TOUCHING ME WOMAN” at Zuri so loud Amara’s parents got concerned
(He never smelled my new signature perfume before) Zyro randomly started sniffing me and asked what I was wearing 😛 (That definitely sounds weird but if you understood the full story you’d laugh too 💔)
He started making fun of me for being stuck on Ophelia so I started making fun of him for wanting to marry a dude who cheated on him multiple times ❤️ (don’t be mad guys we were both laughing 😓)
Us having a bonding moment over our dead ass friends 🥰🥰 (I’m not mean guys they’d be laughing I promise)
Us randomly debating about nothing for no reason
Spraying febreeze in his mouth! (He was OKAY.)
When he was in the bathroom I kept spamming his messages with the “🫃” emoji 😛

I have sm more to share but I’m tired af
Also mods I asked him if I could post this, he said yeah.

LOVE YOU HO IMMA MISS YOU WHEN YOU LEAVE 💔💔

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Also I should probably make it clear me and @strange river are fine with the jokes we make. It’s not to be an asshole. We genuinely don’t care, we laugh about it. The entire group acts that way to eachother

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ALSO IM SO FREAKING MAD (not at him ofc) THAT WE HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY

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like no joke we have the same birthday just a different year

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And he’s staying in his city for his birthday 💔💔💔

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I wanna see Aurora already bro but it’s almost 11pm (23:00)

iron terrace Mar 20, 2025, 3:55 AM

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(Entry #223)
3/19/2025 23:55 ~ Aurora joining us

So as mentioned yesterday Zyro was visiting for a bit, and Aurora did too! They’ll be here for a few days.

We were at my house this time. We decided to play Piggy on Roblox (Since we all kept seeing videos on TikTok and decided to try it again). We were cussing eachother out cause they were pissing me off ☺️
Here’s some other stuff we did cause it’s too much to put a paragraph each:

I handed Zyro my phone and let him go through old messages with me and Ophelia, entire time he was laughing his ass off
Aurora forced us to do facials 😛 she was using expensive shit like Tatcha, DE, Charlotte Tilbury, Glow Recipe, and Laneige + Had a whole ass steamer, sheet masks, clay masks, exfoliants, and rollers
Aurora was doing her makeup for fun on live so I poured water on her 😍 (She beat my ass after but it’s ok we love eachother 🥰)
Amara, Aurora, and Zuri doing eachother’s baby hairs
We were making a chocolate cake and I threw it on Zuri (She threw one on me too 🤧🤧)
Amara, Aurora, and Zyro cussing eachother out in Spanish
Zyro was trying to handle my lizard and it shit in his hand
I showcased an awesome thing I made on pottery club 🥣

Have more but I’m tired so bye bye see you tomorrow perchance 🤗

iron terrace Mar 21, 2025, 3:46 AM

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(Entry #224)
3/20/2025 23:46 ~ Me and the Amigos back at it again

So we went to my house again bc I’m just so awesome (Zuri’s kinda going through stuff at home).
Anyways here’s some Skibidi awesome stuff that happened:

Milo shed today and Zuri asked if he could eat it
We made burgers and Zyro stole mine 😔😔 (I stole his after shit was immaculate 😋)
We were measuring eachother’s heights for fun and there was a 16 inch difference between me and Zyro, Zuri then asked “you know what else is 16 inches?”
Zyro playing with my freshly washed curls and Zuri asked him “don’t you have your own” and Zyro said “Yeah but this is more fun”
Amara painting a detailed painting of a lake (I don’t have a picture but I’ll ask her for one when she wakes up)
Aurora telling us all the drama about her school over 2,000 miles away
Talking about Aurora going to Highschool (She’s a year below me, she’s still in 8th grade). She might be moving to Washington/Wyoming/Montana, we don’t know yet but it could happen. Either way she might go virtual because of how much people hate her for literally just existing.
Us getting emotional and venting to eachother

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I HATE HOW THEY LIVE SO FAR

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Aurora’s literally across the county

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And even though Zyro is still in state, he’s still 8 hours away. So he can’t visit whenever he wants

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I miss when we all lived in the same area 💔

iron terrace Mar 25, 2025, 3:21 AM

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(Entry #225)
3/24/2025 23:21 ~ I miss Zyro

I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO I MISS ZYRO

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Okay anyways besides that!

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I’m kinda sick and I’m staying home tmrw

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And I was too busy to post the rest of spring break

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But me and gang + Amara’s friend (I’ll get more into detail about her) were hanging out and we put our names in urban dictionary

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Here’s what came up

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But what do yall want me to post next

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🌱 - Spring Break
🌺 - What I plan on doing for summer
🎨 - Art Projects I made this year (Drawing & Ceramics)
🥣 - Art Projects I made this year (Ceramics only)
✍️ - Art projects I made this year (Drawing only)
🐍 - Pets I want before I turn 18
🧼 - Continue with the hygeine series
🏫 - School related stuff
💞 - My love life
💫 - Whatever I want

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Also I actually had aura today at school guys

iron terrace Mar 26, 2025, 3:48 AM

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(Entry #226)
3/25/2025 23:47 ~ How to smell tropical

Containing on with the hygeine series! Here’s how to smell tropical. Like coconut, pineapple, Hibiscuis, etc

Dove’s Restoring Coconut Beauty Bar ($3.28)
Dove’s Limited Edition Pineapple + Passionfruit Body Wash ($7.99)
Tree Hut’s Watermelon Shea Body Scrub ($7.97)
Tree Hut’s Coco Colada Gel Body Wash ($8.99)
EOS’s Shea Butter Coconut Waters Body Lotion ($8.98)
Petals Fresh’s Hibiscus & Papaya Body Butter ($7.67)
Sheamoisture’s Daily Hydration Coconut Body Oil ($10.39)
Tree Hut’s Coco Colada after-shave serum ($12.99)
Dove’s Advanced Care Coconut Spray on Deodorant ($7.99)
Qaed Al Fursan Unlimited ($14.39)
Tree Hit’s Coco Colada Spray ($9.99)
Kuumba’s Creamy Coconut Roll-On Oil ($9.97)

Total WITHOUT Fragrence: $76.25
Total WITH Fragrence: $110.60

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Of course you don’t need all that, but if you’re a maximalist like me who loves to smell good and doesn’t mind spending money, there’s a routine

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It’s also not just coconut. Yeah it mainly is, but it has more.

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Also I feel so sick rn

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Like I actually wanna throw up

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But I stayed home today and I know my parents are gonna be pissed if I try to stay home because I’m sick

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OH YEAH

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ALSO

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silly number! 😋

iron terrace Mar 30, 2025, 3:52 AM

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(Entry #227)
3/29/2025 23:52 ~ The fattest scare of my life

TW: ||Fake dead gecko||

So today I had the most horrifying thing happen

I was handling Milo (my Leopard Gecko) as usual when he suddenly felt like he was vibrating.

I immediately set him back in his cage, I ran to get my mom and ||when I came back, was on his back. I set him back to normal and when I saw him again he was on his back, again. I put him closer to the light, on the right side, and put worms infront of him, plus spray him with water. He starts walking around immediately.||

I texted a few people I knew and eventually Zyro called me. I was freaking out on the phone with him. Although he was moving I was still scared.

He asked to see Milo. I showed him and Milo’s tail was moving. I told him about the incident and he said “It’s rare but Leopard Geckos can play dead if something happens. I’m guessing he potentially could’ve dropped his tail based on how it’s moving. Knowing you, I know you didn’t do anything. I’m guessing that something else scared it. Keep him in his cage. If you ask me he should get atleast week to rest. Feed him and give him water of course, but leave him alone for the most part unless he’s against the glass trying to get your attention. ||I doubt this is gonna kill him, just leave him alone besides for food and water unless totally necessary.||

Zyro asked to see him a little closer. I showed him a close up, without getting too in his space. Zyro said he looked happy. He seemed calm and was breathing just fine. (Zyro owns like 6 healthy Leopard Geckos so I trust his view on that)

He’s asleep now. Still breathing. He should be fine but we’ll see in the morning.

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He still has his tail and no damage on his body. Just really scared me

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You guys do not understand

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I was SHITTING MY PANTS

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legit horrified

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Anyways

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Bacon was literally on my chest the entire time I was on call with Zyro (I had to take him out of his cage because something happened) so texting people, calling someone, making sure your ||lizard wasn’t dying||, AND having one on you at the same time was hella stressful

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And Stacy (my Calico cat) has just constantly been in my room recently

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ALSO (TW ||actual dead animal||)
||My brother owns fish and we think our Orange Cat ate one ☹️||

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They’re not my fish yet (they’re probably gonna be once he moves out) but it still made me a lil sad

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ALSO SORRU I HAVENT BEEN POSTING IVE BEEN CERY SICK

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I missed 4 days of school last week now my classmates and teachers won’t hop off

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Anyways see yall next time!!

iron terrace Apr 1, 2025, 3:42 AM

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(Entry #228
3/31/2025 23:42 ~ The first song I think of when I think of people (and the most specific parts) PART 1

I got bored so here’s a new series that reminds me of the first song I think of when I see some of the main (or WERE) the pain people in my life in the past 3 years

Zyro: Ribs - Lorde (3:34-4:04)
Amara: Die with a smile - Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars (0:29-1:19)
Aurora: Something about you - Eyedress ft. Dent May (0:45-0:57 & 1:34–1:57)
Zuri: Just the way you are - Bruno Mars (0:18-1:24)
Alicia: Walks like Rihanna - The Wanted (0:25-0:55)
Ellie: Dorothea - Taylor Swift (2:22-2:47)
Emerson: Count on me - Bruno Mars (0:05-0:59)
Noah: Older - Alec Benjamin (0:23-0:45)
Ophelia: Tears over Beers (1:13-1:45)
Julia & Caleb: Still think about you - A Boogie wit da Hoodie (1:16-1:20)
Ophelia’s “best friend” - ARE WE STILL FRIENDS? - Tyler, The Creator
Reina: Vegas - Joseline Hernandez
Seraphina & Finn: Angel with a Sh0tg_n - The Cab
Violet: Grenade - Bruno Mars

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Anyways so I don’t think I’ve mentioned them but Reina is a friend I met in biology this year, Violet was a friend I had, we’re still friends but she was sent to another school because of her grades

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Noah is Emerson’s boyfriend

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Finn is a friend I’ve had since sixth grade in my biology class (his ass in jail though💔) and Seraphina has been my friend since 7th grade

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Seraphina and Finn are dating

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ANYWAYS

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So Zyro’s song is self explanatory if you listen to it. Amara’s is basically a form of loving her (platonically), Aurora’s is about her beauty and how much I love her. Zuri’s insecure but she’s truthfully beautiful

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Alicia’s is a little difficult to understand. But the song “Walks like Rihanna” reminds me of her because Rihanna walks with confidence and doesn’t care what others think. Similar to Alicia!

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If you listen to Dorothea it will make sense. “Count on me” is because we’re not as close as we used to be, but they will remain one of my favorite people because of all we’ve been through together. Noah used to attend my middle and high school, and we used to be in a friend group, until he moved, his mom got a new job a few cities away. So we’re getting Older, and the group is slowly separating as we mature (if that makes sense).

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Ophelia’s is because of something I didn’t mention. It wasn’t cheating (my brother thinks it was), I still love her, but after months of crying, I can see what she did was wrong. I didn’t deserve that.
The song I chose for Julia & Caleb doesn’t mean I tink of them positively. Honestly, I never think of them besides reading old messages with Ophelia or reading my old entries. The song I chose means I dont want to see them. The song puts them in a negative spotlight.
Ophelia’s best friend used to be in a friend group with me, Ophelia, him, Veronica, Emerson, and Noah in seventh grade. He hates me because I was upset with what Ophelia put me through. I don’t know if we’re still friends anymore.

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I chose “Vegas” because I know Reina would probably LOVE that song. It doesn’t remind me of her personality, more of her music taste.
Seraphina & Finn’s song was about THEM. I think of THEM when one of them is mentioned. They love eachother and have gone through many break ups together. Throughout all that, they keep fighting for eachother.
Violet’s song is because she was one of my closest friends at my school before she left. She’s going through shit mentally but I still love her and WILL always be there for her

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I just realized I think one of the mods deleted one of my posts about the school names

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Guys they’re all fake 🤧

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Obviously all of the schools and the people I mention are real, but majority of their names are fake. Unless they don’t mind their name being on here, which I ask them first

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Oh never mind found it

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ANYWAYS night night guys I have state testing in 7 hours and I’m not prepared

iron terrace Apr 2, 2025, 2:58 AM

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(Entry #229)
4/1/2025 22:58 ~ Our two year anniversary would be soon.

CW; ||Injured/dead animals, ED||

I wasn’t thinking of anything until I went to listen to Spotify. I got “Back to friends” by Sombr recommended. I love this song and have listened to it a million times before, so I decided to put it on. I didn’t really care until I realized it’s April. Which then made me realize that mine and Ophelia’s TWO year anniversary would be soon.

It’s been 5 months since we last talked. I’m not stupid. I know fully aware I wasn’t treated the best. But nobody’s ever treated me better (Besides my close friends but I’ve never felt a romantic connection with any of them)

I’m trying to tell myself that “If she came back once, surely she’ll come back again”. But I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it up.

I’m really trying. But it’s hard to when you always grew up unloved and misunderstood in a cruel world. Nobody seems to understand me.

I just really wanna know, does she ever think about me? Have I ever randomly crossed her mind? Does she have even a bit of thought about me? Does she hate me? I guess we’ll never find out unless she comes back.

I wonder if, even we just stayed friends, she would have been here for me ||when my leopard gecko had a stroke (I’m literally crying just writing it I’m scared for if he’s gonna die)||, ||I lost my chameleon||, I passed my ESB certification exam, my family became even worse, ||after years I finally overcame my ED||, and more. So many things I wish she could’ve seen and experienced with me.

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But hey

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I don’t think I ever mentioned it, ||but Zyro has helped me overcome my eating disorder||

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Both kind

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||Binge and Anorexia||

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OH YEAH

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||and bulimia||

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But speaking of them, my drawing teacher was tweaking out earlier cause she thought I had one

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But okay besides that sad shit

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I HAD TESTING TODAY

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I HAD TO TAKE A SHIT SO I WENT TO THE CAFETERIA and were supposed to leave our bags outside of the bathroom

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So I did

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The admins literally took my Chromebook WHEN IT WAS RIGHT THERE and I was just gonna get it

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Stupid administration

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AND TODAY IN MY ENGLISH CLASS ||my teacher found a c0nd-m wrapper and a vape on the floor||

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(Censoring the word so it doesn’t get automatically removed) the wrapper you can’t do much about but she had to call administration to collect this damn vape and she had it in her hand during class the entire time because she knew someone would try to take it

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Admin didn’t even come cause “They were on lunch break”

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LUNCH WAS LITERALLY LIKE 45 MINUTES BEFORE

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We had a weird schedule cause of testing so it was; testing, first period, second period, fifth period, third period, fourth period, sixth period, and seventh period

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And I have English sixth period so lunch was literally over 40 minutes ago and you’re telling me “they couldn’t go because they had to eat”

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Bitch be for real they just lazy 😭

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ALSO I HAD TESTING WITH ELLIE’S EX BRO

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This chopped ass bitch talks about me to everyone fat shaming me (I’m 120 & 5’4ish) when I haven’t even talked to him and he can’t even say it to my face

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IT REEKED IN THERE

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Black aura with mosquitos

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And one of his bum ass friends on the swim team talking shit about me like he didn’t swipe up on my story with “😍😍” “fine shyttt” and ||”lemme eyp 😭”|| several times and when I blocked him he made new accounts

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He thinks cause he’s an athlete he’s some kind of God

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Meanwhile our school hasn’t won a single football game in over 2C years, basketball game in over 4 years, and other sports 5+ years

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Might as well shut the entire program down 🤧

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Oh yeah besides that I was doing so good on the essay till the counterclaim and conclusion

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ok goodnight now chat

iron terrace Apr 4, 2025, 2:34 AM

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(Entry #230)
4/3/2025 22:34 ~ Milo.. :((

TW: ||Animal death||

today was something I really didn’t want to post, but unfortunately the worst happened.

As I mentioned a few days ago, ||Milo had a stroke|| randomly. I thought me and Zyro thought he was just scared of something, but it was way more.

||Milo has been really sick. Well, not particularly sick, but he hasn’t moved at all, hasn’t ate, hasn’t gone to the bathroom, was really dehydrated no matter how much I sprayed him or gave him water, has been more aggressive, etc.||

I went home and saw him. ||He was barely breathing. I was crying in 3rd and 4th period because I knew he wasn’t gonna make it. I tried everything I could, but there was nothing else I could do||. ||His eyes were still barely open, he was barely breathing, and he seemed super dehydrated. Worst of all, there were bugs all over him. It seemed like they were biting him. I got them off, but I knew it was over.||

I called Zyro crying a bit telling him what happened. I told him I vented to him and told him I just wanted my pets to be healthy, for all of us (Me, Aurora, Zyro, Amara, & Zuri) to live in the same area again, and for Ophelia to come back. I told him how much I hated school and I dreaded going. But that’s for another entry. He understood me fully, he used to go to my school (we didn’t go together, we went different years), and after owning so many pets ||(he recently lost one of his cats)||, he understands me. He told me to wait until my dad got home to try and touch him again, unless I absolutely have to.

My dad finally got home a few hours later. ||He saw Milo and instantly knew he was a goner||. ||We took him outside to bury him. This time, I didn’t really cry. I’ll admit, I was extremely sad. Worse than Pascal or Zuko, but I’ve been through this before.||

It has almost been a year since we got him.
||…or would’ve been a year since we gotten him.||

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(continued)
||I posted a memorial picture of him on my Instagram Story with a super long paragraph. Not dead, not being bitten, not buried, just a picture of when he was happy and healthy. I’ve gotten a few friends message me saying “RIP” or “I’m so sorry”.||

I just wanna stay home but I know my mom will tweak out if I do.

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I miss my boy so much ☹️

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The last memory I have of trying to move him was him hissing at me and being scared

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I’m genuinely crying so hard why does this has to happen to ME of all people

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It doesn’t matter how good I make their cages, how much I do research, feed them, take care of them

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This is the third one this year

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Now I’m freaking out because I don’t want my other two babies (Bacon & Mango) to have the same thing happen

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I’ve tried making jokes about it and pretending I’m not sad but I can’t lie to myself

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I genuinely recently have been starting to think I’m depressed

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I wish this was just a nightmare I could easily wake up to. But you can’t escape death

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I miss Pascal and Zuko but I’m glad I have Mango

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But I don’t know what to do about Milo. It’s gonna sound cruel but I’m not sure if I should replace him to distract myself, give myself time, or ask Zyro what to do

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||I was looking up the 🦎 emoji (I have a few stickers of Milo in my phone) and the first thing that came up was three stickers of him ☹️)||

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What do I do?

🦎 - Get another reptile to distract yourself (Could be another Gecko)
🐍 - Give yourself time. Wait until you’re ready
🐢 -Ask your friends who own reptiles what they would do (Zyro, Aurora, Amara, etc)

iron terrace Apr 16, 2025, 11:20 AM

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(Entry #231)
4/16/2025 7:20 ~ Even more life updates

hola chara so I decided to do some more life updates bc I haven’t posted

I got another bearded dragon. Nothing happened to bacon but we just decided for safety, it was the best idea. His name isn’t really confirmed yet, but I’m calling him porkchop.
I was at Publix (why tf is 2 things of bar soap $5..) and I heard a familiar voice behind me say “What do you have so many bananas for?” I turned around, it was Amara!
I had a 13% in English and she changed it to a 82% because she didn’t feel like grading them.
I got my academy. I got marketing. I kinda regret it but anything for that paycheck ig 💔
Mine (and Zyro’s) birthday is in a little under 2 months!
Bacon didn’t shit for like a month and after a warm bath he shit really hard and I almost threw up
I went home early on Monday and stayed home Tuesday
MY MATH TEACHER ASSIGNED A 72 QUESTION ASSIGNMENT DUE IN 2 DAYS
Our 2 year anniversary would be on Monday. ☹️

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I know it’s getting annoying but I wish she’d just come back

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But then again, I’m mad at myself. I wasn’t loved. I was used, lied to, and just for entertainment

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I wanna stay but a part of me is just so mad that I didn’t realize how I was used in the past

iron terrace Apr 22, 2025, 2:57 AM

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(Entry #232)
4/21/2025 22:57 ~ Today would be our 2 year anniversary.

I woke up at 6:59am with my phone on 7%. I saw the date and was on the verge of tears. But I put my phone down and went back to bed.

At 9am I got a message from Zyro saying “Hey” “Are you okay?”. I told him I was and I asked why he wanted to know, he blantanly told me “I saw your TikTok reposts”.

My TikTok reposts had a few videos about an anniversary coming up. He asked me again if I was okay, I told him I wasn’t.

We hopped on Roblox and played some games (Grow a garden, bee swarm simulator, those dumbass midnight horror games, lights out, don’t let her in, etc). During that time I brutally told him how I felt.

I won’t go in a lot of detail about it, but I cried a lot until when we were playing the game “Grow a garden” he showed me a gigantic Cactus plant that made me say “what the fuck” out loud, and we started laughing.

After a few hours of playing I decide to clean my vanity with Zyro still on call. I’m talking to him. After a few minutes I have to go for a second. I leave my phone on my vanity.

What happened was personal but I started crying again. I was venting to him about my parents, how I had genuinely no true friends at school, I barely see my actual friends, the person I was in love with and was all I known left, this is the second anniversary I was supposed to spend with Ophelia that she left me for, I hate school, I hate myself, and I hate how I look.

Zyro assured me I wasn’t ugly, he promised me he’ll come back to our hometown soon, and he told me it was gonna be fine.

But besides all the storytelling, it hurts. I just wish instead of crying all day we could’ve been together. I wish Ophelia could see all I’ve been through. then again she’d probably be laughing about it.

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I’m so tired of everyone and everything

iron terrace May 3, 2025, 3:09 AM

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(Entry #233)
5/1/2025 23:09 ~ Fun facts about each of my friends!

So I’m sick af at home again, so I’m gonna start another little series! This is gonna be about some fun facts about my friends. Obviously, I’m gonna do Zyro first!

Zyro was the first person to ever say he was proud to me
We have the same birthday!
He was the second person I talked to our birthday in 2023 and the first in 2024.
We’ve been friends for almost 7 years, but we weren’t that close until I was in 7th grade, but we became really close once I dropped Julia and Ophelia left my life.
(He’s okay with me sharing this since it’s not his deadname) We both actually used to go by the same name (Ezra) until he found a name that he found to suit him, which was Zyro.
When we used to live in the same area, if my hair wasn’t already frizzy he would play with it until it was
Zyro has a few nicknames from me, my favorite one is personally “Zeeke”
I have his Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, Roblox, and Snapchat login (idk he just gave them to me LMAO)
Our first interaction was me throwing a book at his head
Our first interaction was him asking me “Why are you so quiet” and I asked him “Why are you so tall?”
I have him pinned on Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, Messages, and Discord.
I have 14 accounts that I can communicate with him! (number, snap, insta, discord, etc)
Even though all of my friends absolutely hated Ophelia, Zyro was the only one who actually said anything to her
When Ophelia blocked me, Zyro got blocked too (💀)
I literally never noticed but he actually has heterochromia! Apperently our entire group (me, Zyro, Amara, Aurora, & Zuri) do, I just didn’t notice cause some are slighter than others! And I forgot he wears brown contacts. 😪
Zyro is one of the only people who haven’t ever yelled at me

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Me and Zyro often cosplay together on Roblox! Our main ones are:

Tweek & Craig from Southpark
Kenny & Cartman from Southpark
Zizzy & Pony from Piggy
Komi & Tadano from Komi can’t Communicate
Emma & Ray from TPN
Norman & Ray from TPN

And a lot more but idk I’m too lazy rn

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Also porkchop shed for the first time today

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It wasn’t coming off and I knew pulling it was a horrible idea so I gave him 6 different baths over the days now there’s no more skin left on him that needs to be shed

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Anyways might do Amara or Aurora next

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iron terrace May 11, 2025, 10:55 PM

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(Entry #234)
5/11/2025 18:55 ~ 9th grade Reading FAST results

hey guys so sorry for not posting recently I’ve lowkey been sick with a 101.6 (38.667) degree fever, I might have covid idk

But anyways I took my 9th grade ELA fast on Wednesday.

I went from a

238 (Like 2 points from a 3)
To a 236 (Almost a 3)
And now a 248 (Mid/high 3)

I found out in the most stressful way possible though 😭

My friend told me he’ll check my score for me. He told me “If I tap on your shoulder once, you passed. If I tap on your shoulder twice. You failed.”

He enters my detailed report and says “Oh..” “Okay just remember, if I tap on your shoulder once, you passed. If I tap on your shoulder twice, you failed”. I was fully expecting the worst, but then he tapped on my shoulder once and didn’t again. Instantly I grabbed my Chromebook to see what I got and my English teacher noticed, so she checked my score.

I asked her if I could text my parents my score and she high-fived my using both hands and said yes. I instantly texted my family group chat (and Zyro) then during seventh period I told my biology teacher my score ☺️

I’m rlly nervous for the math and bio EOC guys pray for me 💔

iron terrace May 17, 2025, 9:33 AM

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(Entry #235)
5/17/2025 5:33 ~ Biology & Algebra EOC Results

So I took my Biology EOC on Wednesday and my Algebra EOC on Thursday

My biology EOC is worth 30% of my class grade. I got 2 points away from a 3.

My Algebra EOC won’t affect my grade whatsoever. But I need a 3 or higher to graduate, if I don’t pass it I have to retake it until I do. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t pass it. I got 4 points away from a 3.

The second I walked into first period a dude said “You got four points away from passing? Well I get you, I got 12 points away” and I was just thinking, no you aren’t. We aren’t in the same boat. Don’t compare 4 points to 12.

But whatever. Second period his brother won’t stop annoying me, he asked “What did you get?” I told him I don’t wanna talk about it. He keeps asking and my friend eventually yells at him “She said multiple times she doesn’t wanna talk about it” and he gets quiet.

It felt so embarrassing being basically the only one in an honors algebra class who didn’t pass the EOC, and my teacher shamed me for my score when I tried my hardest.

My English teacher noticed I was upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her and she told me how there was likely gonna be a law signed where state testing doesn’t matter and the EOC won’t be mandatory, which brings a relief to me but also kinda stresses me out because how would I know if I’m in intensive reading or not?

I just feel so embarrassed that I couldn’t have done better, that I’m one of the only people in an honors class who didn’t get higher than a 3.

Zuri told me atleast I tried, she didn’t get a single question right when she first did it.

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Bro and the dude in my first period wouldn’t hop off about it in sixth

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Fucking annoying as hell

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He thinks he runs everything and always criticizes everything I do when IM doing better than him

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But on a side note I have my brother’s graduation today

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At 9am

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Like 2 hours away

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How fun

iron terrace May 24, 2025, 12:49 AM

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(Entry #236)
5/23/2025 20:49 ~ Brother’s graduation

Hey guys so I’m in biology and Im bored and they took away our Chromebooks so I’m gonna write about how my brother’s graduation went 🥳

I woke up pretty early, like 6 or 7am. My parents were already awake. My brother was too. My brother said he wasn’t nervous, but we could definetely tell he was.

When we were ready we got in the car. The place he was graduating was 47 minutes away, so we left early (A bit before 8am). We went to McDonald’s for breakfast.

Traffic wasn’t bad. We arrived at like 8:30. We waited in line until 9:15 to get in. I was really hot by the time we got inside, we had to wait 45 minutes for graduation to start.

At 10:00 it starts, for an hour it’s just people talking. A speech about “how amazing the principal was”, about student government association, I can’t really remember the rest.

Then they start calling names. Like 300 people graduated. At 12:20 they finally call the last name, my brother’s.

Everyone started cheering for him, since obviously it was the end. It took forever to get home since nobody was moving on the damn road.

My brother’s finally came home at around 4ish, since his girlfriend from another school graduated right after him.

So I’m now alone at school with basically no real friends for the rest of the year

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I hate 4th period so god damn much

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Everyone in there is so fake and just full of drama

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I want to transfer already

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I wish my parents fucking listened when I told them to email the district MONTHS ago but since I’m the youngest they think I’m the dumbest

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Pascal would still be fucking alive if they fucking listened to me

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I want to feel listened to

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But on the bright side I won a student government association award (they didn’t even call me the right name infront of 100+ people)

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It was like an awards breakfast and I skipped 2nd period for it 🥳

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I couldn’t bring my phone to take pictures even though everyone else did bc my teacher’s a bitch but I had an Asiago Bagel with cream cheese and during 3rd period I texted Zyro and my family about it

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AND OMG

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I DID MOT LIKE HOW MY MARKETING TEACHER LOOKED AT ME TODAY.

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He’s been extremely creepy towards the girls all year but like today I was walking with my friend from his 4th period he gave us the WEIRDEST grin and just thought “wtf”

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Oh yeah

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Aurora’s birthday is in 5 days, Amara’s birthday is in 9 days, and mine + Zyro’s birthday is in 16 days

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ALSO I WON CLASS SECRETARY A SECOND YEAR IN A ROW 😇

iron terrace May 24, 2025, 2:24 AM

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(Entry #236)
5/23/2025 22:24 ~ My opinion on the most beautiful celebrities (and influencers) in the world

hi guys so idk anymore I didn’t plan to post twice in a single day but I wanna cry and I’m kinda bored so here’s a list I made of who I think are the most beautiful celebrities in the world

These are not all in order, the only intangible one (which will absolutely stay in its place) is Aphrodite.

Aphrodite (Intangible)
2, Adriana Lima
Marilyn Monroe
Anok Yai
Angelina Jolie
Aishwarya Rai
Gisele Bündchen
Megan Fox
Naomi Campbell
Brooke Shields
Chloe Bailey
Iman Abdulmajid
Jessica Alba
Princess Diana
Angelina Jolie
Tyra Banks
Kate Moss
Hedy Lamarr
Shalom Harlow
Sunday, Demitra, & Eliana Kalogeras
Jang Wonyoung
Kim Minji
Avatinka Vandanapu
Paris (Yslhuzz)
Alexis (Lexso4pff)
Rikki
Winnie Harlow
Lupita Nyong’o
Salam Hayek
Madison Beer
Cindy Crawford
Sofia Vergara
SZA
Megan Thee Stallion
Margot Robbie
Denise Richards
Cindy Kimberly
Lady Gaga
Irina Shayk
Zanna Mama

I can do like 40 parts to this (I probably will do more). This is my personal opinion, which is subjective. Remember, don’t be insecure, you’re beautiful. One woman’s beauty doesn’t take away from yours.

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I put all the Kalogera sisters together (I know the difference between them) because in my opinion, they’re all equally as beautiful

iron terrace May 28, 2025, 3:24 AM

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(Entry #237)
5/27/2028 23:23 ~ How today went

So today was somewhat interesting

Nothing much happened periods 1-2. We watched Finding Dory in second period (Me and Zyro are so Marlin and Dory core)

Third periods I had these dudes consistently “harassing” (idk what else to call it) me. Calling my name, trying to get my attention and bother me. I was annoyed but just pretended not to hear anything and sat on my phone, didn’t really help considering how I only have a left AirPod.

Fourth period I went to a hallway in my classroom, put my head in my knees, and just started crying. It had nothing to do with third period at all. I was just so tired of everyone. I didn’t feel liked by anyone in any classes (4th included), everyone was toxic, most of my friends talk about me, so I just sat there and cried silently in between the prop room and another room. Until the Head 9th Grade Administrator (not sure what she is exactly)/my 9th grade SGA teacher came in and asked to use the props room. She was the former acting teacher and helped this year, but acting was already over for the year. I try to stop crying but obviously they come over to unlock the props room and they both notice. They ask me if I’m okay but they’re both concerned. When she leaves I stop hiding it and continue crying. Nobody knew I was even there today, until my acting teacher tells everyone.

One of those girls comes to check on me and asks why I’m crying. I genuinely just wanted to be left alone to talk to Zyro and Amara since I felt like they’d understand me more. Unfortunately she didn’t wanna walk away. I eventually was just so tired and I caved in and told her I felt like everyone is fake (I didn’t directly state 4th period). She just automatically assumed someone was rude to me today. She told me “You got some nice curls, you got nice skin, you got white teeth, you got nice lashes, you got pretty eyes, you got cute freckles, you’re not ugly. You a pretty girl, don’t let dudes get to you”

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(Continued) which I guess felt nice to hear for once. She told me to come back to the rest of the group, even though I really didn’t want to I don’t really think I had a choice. I went through one of the girl’s yearbooks and went through people’s pictures and took a photo of my brother’s to troll him with.

I didn’t have any work in fifth period so I was just on my phone the entire class. I went to my theatre class again to ask if we had a midterm (I couldn’t email since we had no computers). Since I couldn’t make a silent pass I had to use this giant ass paintbrush as a hall pass.

And then in sixth period I had to go to my fourth period for a third time to check if I left something there (I didn’t). We’re almost done with our project, I hate it. I wish I spoke up about how I hated it. This dude took most of the control when we told him not to.

Seventh period I did some work. I had to move with people sadly cause I couldn’t do it alone.

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Here’s a visual example I made of my Theatre classroom since it’s a little complicated to explain in text (There’s a room next to the prop room I forgot to add). I was crying between the doors of the prop room and the other room.

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Everyone just hangs out in the back of the main room so nobody saw me

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Till my teacher told people (👎👎)

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Bro this dude in my sixth period who keeps trying to control the project is so annoying

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One time I was walking Ellie to her sixth period and he started questioning me saying “were you with your brother.” “were you with your boyfriend” NO BRO I WAS WITH MY FEMALE FRIEND 😭😭😭

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And we were like making small talk in English while making our boards and relationships came up he asked “Oli do you have a boyfriend?” And the dude we were working with said “I could see that for her” and he kept persisting and asking if I had one like dude leave me alone

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he is fully convinced I have a boyfriend but keeps calling my “My love”

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I am NOT “your love” dude gtfo 😂

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Like I don’t mean to be mean but that’s weird asf thinking someone has a boyfriend (I don’t but still) and still calling them that

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Like I can’t tell if this dude has a crush on me or not but one time in first period people were talking about whether crazy or calm girls were better in relationships (idek dude) and he said “I need a good girl whose calm, can cook and clean for me, abides by my rules, and doesn’t have any friends — especially males”

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I was just thinking like hell no

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Dude if he asks me one more time I swear I’m either gonna lie and tell him I got back with my ex or say me and Zyro got together (he’s gay and we’ve lied about that before since dudes wouldn’t leave me alone)

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AND HES SUCH A WEIRDO ON INSTAGRAM PROMPTS 😭😭😭😭

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“Can girls date eachother?” “Yes and no” fym dude what century do you think we’re in

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“should I beg for him back?” “Yes”
“How many exes do you have?” “Too many to count”

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and his brother’s just as weird but that’s for another time 🤗

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ANYWAYS Aurora’s birthday is tomorrow

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Amara’s is June 1st, mine and Zyro’s are on the same day bc we’re just so cool

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I miss Aurora and Zyro

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ok bye now see you guys next time I feel like posting

iron terrace Jun 2, 2025, 3:42 AM

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(Entry #238)
6/1/2025 23:42 ~ Happy June

hey guys

So idk what to post really but Happy Pride Month and Men’s Mental Health Month

Today was Amara’s birthday, mine and Zyro’s will be in under 7 days. Zyro is also back in town! Amara should be back by the 5th.

so yeah
see yall later

iron terrace Jun 3, 2025, 3:06 AM

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(Entry #239)
6/2/2025 23:05 ~ My friend group in my sketchbook

CW: ||Alcohol, Vapes, cursing||

hi again
So we finished our sketchbook checks in Drawing, so we’re allowed to take them home. My sketchbook still has quite a lot of space. So I decided to draw in it.

I made my friend group + what describes our personality. So why not share it? (Censoring some stuff on Zyro’s end because it might be deemed inappropriate)

This has pretty little context but it was mainly just to share with my friend group. I decided to share it here since I kinda liked it

iron terrace Jun 3, 2025, 3:06 AM

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iron terrace (Entry #238) 6/1/2025 23:42 ~ Happy June hey guys So idk what to post reall...

Also idk why I said “Amara should be back” I MEANT TO TYPE AURORA but anyways

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SORRY IVE BEEN KINDA LIKE DRY THESE PAST 2 days

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The last day of school is tomorrow so I’ll be a lot more energetic and descriptive typing that

iron terrace Jun 5, 2025, 3:56 AM

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(Entry #240)
6/4/2025 23:56 ~ The last day of 9th grade

Today was the last day of my 9th grade year.
I went at 6:40 and talked to some of my friends in the cafeteria. At 6:55 I went to homeroom.

The brunch (we didn’t have lunch since school ended at 11:35) bell for 9th and 11th graders rang at 7:15. I sat with Ellie and basically just talked to her, all she did was talk about drama and her boyfriend. But at 7:40 Brunch ended, so I went to deliver stuff to some of my teachers, Ellie was following me since she skipped homeroom (They separated 9th & 10th graders) I went back to homeroom, asked if I could deliver more shit and did.

I was RUSHING to deliver stuff to my marketing teacher cause I do NAWT wanna be alone in a room with him (Id trust being alone in a room with my theatre and ESE teacher but definitely not this dude)

And I went to deliver stuff to my first period teacher and finished an exam in under 5 minutes (I got a 100% on it)

After homeroom I went to fifth period, she thanked me for my card and since I finished my project I just went on my phone

My English teacher told me she loved my card, and we did our final project (playing others peoples boards)

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Anyways

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DUDE IM SO MAD

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I spent so long making chess pieces just for this kid in my group to smash them and paint them

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He didn’t even paint them right

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I told him not to paint them

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And he fucking did

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HE OBLY PAINTED ONE TOO

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and he did the most Pre K job ever

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And kept calling me a loser and saying “This is so easy” ok bro last time I checked I’ve won every single board you haven’t won a single one 😭🫵💔

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BUT OK

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they released all students at once man I went sprinting home

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I forgot my house key and had to wait for my dad’s class to go on break 😔

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But it’s ok

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My brother got me these new candles I love them so much it’s the Tuscany Vanilla Bean & Tuscany Ocean Mist candle

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I put the ocean mist candle the school summer ended man did life feel good

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And I see Aurora today and my brother comes back home from a trip 😛

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oh yeah and Zyro you me this necklace as a gift for ending the year cause he knew I really struggled

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Amara got me a ring too 😇

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Anyways speaking of Zyro shoutout to him for helping me get a cacao seed in grow a garden 🙏

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ok bye guys

iron terrace Jun 9, 2025, 3:52 AM

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(Entry #241)
6/8/2025 23:52 ~ Mine & @strange river birthday + national best friends day

hi guys so today was mine and Zyro’s birthday! (We have the same birthday just different years)

First thing we both did at 12am was text eachother.

I got a lot of messages wishing me a happy birthday.

But not really sure what else to put. I kinda wish Ophelia could’ve seen my birthday, but besides that it was NATIONAL BEST FRIENDS DAY

Isn’t it ironic that we’re best friends that have the same birthday— coincidentally on national best friends day?

Anyways I’m tired goodnight guys I promise I’ll put more energy in my entires soon 💔

iron terrace Jul 4, 2025, 4:08 PM

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(Entry #242)
7/4/2025 12:08 ~ I’m still alive

Hi guys sorry I haven’t posted I’ve been busy with Zyro and Ophelia (we got back together) and stuff

I’m still alive. I’ve been busy this summer but I’m fine. I haven’t quit making these. I’ve just been busy

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Anyway

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Im writing this on my iPad 😛😛

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So yeah idk

iron terrace Jul 20, 2025, 5:13 AM

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(Entry #243)
7/20/2025 1:13 ~ Can I just.. breathe?

TW: ||Bullying, threats,

So long story short but my school starts August 11th (my start of sophomore year). We’ve been on break since May 31st.

Most people probably think that “Oh you’re in highschool nobody’s having drama, everyone’s being more mature”
WRONG!!

I thought it was bad in middle school. But this school page (for my school), followed Aurora, there was only one post.

The post just happened to be about ME. ||This entire paragraph calling me chopped (extremely ugly), saying I should end my own life, saying they were gonna jump me, making fun of my dead Chameleon and Gecko, calling me a dirty T slur, and saying “I was trying to be black” (for having black friends??? The entire paragraph was mean but that just confused me)||

Aurora showed me, but she went OFF in the comments and made her own confession defending me. I didn’t tell her to but she was so mad someone would disrespect me like that. Amara was pissed and Zyro also went off on them. Zuri reported the entire page (It shortly wasn’t just me, but so many other people)

||They also made rumors I was pregnant, that I had 6 incurable STDs, saying me and Ophelia did stuff in the bathroom together, saying I vape, and one that says “I talk shit about all my friends”||||

It’s just so annoying to me. Let me make it clear, I know it’s basically their word against mine, but none of it’s true. I really don’t think I need to say it but I haven’t done anything with anyone cause I’m SIXTEEN. A CHILD. I’m not “trying to be black”, whatever the fuck that means. I don’t say slurs, nor do I “talk shit” about anyone, especially my friends, and I don’t do drugs. This isn’t even “drama”, it’s lying and bullying.

It makes me so upset that even though I only talk to a few people in school, my girlfriend from a different school, and my friend group outside of school, I get this shit. All I do is pay attention in class and do my work

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I don’t know why the fuck that one part isn’t censoring but oh well

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It’s just so annoying

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Cause come on

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15, 16, 17, even 18 and 19 year olds still acting like this?

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AND OMG

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let me make it clear that bathroom shit with Ophelia never happened

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Some bitch posted that on a confession account in 8th grade and everyone ran with it

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It’s actually so fucking annoying

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and they also posted that on multiple “County bop pages”

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idek who it was but this is exactly why I wanna transfer

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I’ve always been a floater friend and minding my own business, but I can’t even get an ounce of respect from anyone

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And this is just summer, imagine next year.

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||We already have sophomores, juniors, and seniors planning to jump upcoming freshmen on the first week, freshmen posting that they plan to fight on the first day||

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Anyways

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Zyro finally got a boyfriend who I genuinely really like

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Bravo for him 😛

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This dudes fucking huge though

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Like 7’2

iron terrace Jul 22, 2025, 2:19 AM

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(Entry #244)
7/21/2025 22:19 ~ I feel abandoned

I know any that if heartbreak from Ophelia happens to me again, it’s fully my fault for giving her another chance after everything.

This entire time I’ve just felt abandoned. For the first few days, we actually talked. But I just feel like recently she’s been really dry. I feel like she doesn’t talk, she only replies. I feel like I’m only an option because she knows I’m naive and won’t leave.

I wish our relationship could be the same as it was a year ago. I know part of it was my fault, and part of it was her fault. We both acknowledge that. But I just don’t feel loved.

She also claims she “doesn’t remember” all the horrible and shitty lies she told people about me.

I of course love her. I love her dearly. I really really do. But, I don’t wanna stay if it’s just gonna be a one-sided relationship.

I know, I shouldn’t be her #1 priority. But I just feel like to her I’m just a choice.

I tried talking to her and she just reassured me, then took her sweet old time to reply.

I can’t talk to my family about it because they’ll blame me and tell eachother. I can’t tell Aurora about it or else she’ll try to talk shit about Ophelia. Zuri’s aroace, so she doesn’t know much about it. Amara’s been in the same relationship for 6 years, and she’s happy, but she’s never gone through this. I don’t talk to Ellie anymore.

I’ve just been talking to Zyro. He’s been the only one to understand. In his point of view, “If something happens, you’re probably gonna be the one ending things because of how it feels.”, realize she’s not worth it, and this cycle of heartbreak, crying, waiting, and loving will come to an end.

I don’t want it to. But I feel like it might. I just wanna feel loved by my girlfriend.

I don’t understand. Have I become less lovable? Have I become more annoying? Am I too clingy? Is she just not the right person? I feel like I’ve done everything for her and gotten almost nothing.

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I just wanna feel loved by the girl who used to hold me, let me cry in her arms, and assure me it’s gonna be okay

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Who promised she would never leave me

iron terrace Jul 27, 2025, 3:11 AM

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(Entry #245)
7/26/2025 23:11 ~ The people in closest to & their favorite/least favorite thing is about me

I got bored so asked people I talk to most wh at their favorite and least favorite thing about me is!

Dad: Favorite is willingness to self analyze and improve, least favorite is sleep schedule.
Mom: Favorite is my love and devotion to my pets, least favorite is my lack of hugs. (I don’t like hugs.)
Brother: Favorite is that I get him a Diet Coke sometimes. Least favorite is that “I have no self respect” and keep going back to someone who’s kept doing me wrong.
Ophelia: Doesn’t necessarily have a “least favorite”, I’m just the right kind of dumb.
Zyro: Favorite part is my personality, humor, and our memories, least favorite is how I struggle to leave those that hurt me, not being able to stand up for myself, giving other people credit, never prioritizing myself, and losing myself sometimes because of what everyone else wants.
Amara: Favorite is my personality, humor, music taste, physical Apperence, and kindness, least favorite is how I put others first all the time.
Aurora: Favorite is humor and personality, least favorite is how I struggle asking what I want, and letting others take credit.
Zuri: Favorite is personality, least favorite is my mental health.
Alicia: Favorite is my music taste and humor, least favorite is how I don’t stand up for myself when I really should.
Sydney: Favorite is that I give “beauty and brains” but still a good personality, least favorite is being a bit too nice.

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OMG

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Also I haven’t gotten my schedule in particular yet. But my school added time during the day (They say we can’t use our phones)

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We basically have 3 lunches

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Like not lunch classes

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But since they need more class time they’re making it to the point there’s 3 different lunch shifts

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We already had 3 lunch shifts

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But like 3 classes you just go to lunch

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So you have 7 classes, for 1 class you go to lunch

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So a 45 minute lunch period, no phones, not able to listen to music

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They’re not gonna follow the phone rule honestly. But I just know a 45 minute lunch shift is gonna be BAD..

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Especially considering the kids coming this year are known to be pretty bad

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I’ll also be at my school like 2 weeks before it even starts.. don’t I just love SGA!! (/s)

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I’m literally only doing it for the resume atp

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Like how are you gonna not credit me when I’m doing all the work

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I fear Aurora and Zyro were right 💔💔💔😣

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Jokes aside

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I don’t wanna go honestly next year honestly. But I don’t have a choice.

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Atleast I have Ophelia with me, and I hope she stays.

iron terrace Jul 28, 2025, 5:15 AM

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(Entry #246)
7/28/2025 1:15 ~ Why do I love someone who doesn’t love me equally?

I genuinely don’t feel loved from Ophelia.

I feel ignored. How come she cared so much about her “best friend” that blocked her out of nowhere, did her wrong multiple times, never cared about her problems, but barely talks to me.

I feel like our conversations are just one sided. She never talks to me unless she replies. If she wanted to talk to me so bad, get back together, and was literally the person who broke no contact, why? Why am I not being loved?

I feel like every conversation with her is her slight aggression, annoyance, somewhat (but barely) loving, sometimes, and REALLY slow replies.

Everytime I try to express how I feel, I’m practically ignored, left on read, or just brushed off. Best off, I’ll maybe get an apology, but rarely, and nothing changes.

I know she’s not the best for me. But, she’s all I’ve known for almost 4 years. I’m trying to stay. She’s not my entire personality, I prioritize my friends, but I don’t know how to prioritize myself.

I wish I could bring it up to my family. I talked to Zyro about it, he straight up told me I can do better, and she’s a shitty person. But he’ll be by my side regardless of what I do.

Almost every day I legitimately wanna break up with her over it, but then remember our past and then treats me nice for once. Then I feel too bad.

I love my girlfriend. I really do. I genuinely love her so much. As corny as it sounds, I would like to spend my life with her. But I just don’t feel loved whatsoever.

This is straight up our last “conversation”. It’s 1:15, she still hasn’t replied. (Not showing what was said, but just take note of the time it is now and when she left me on read)

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I keep checking every 4 seconds to make sure I’m not blocked. and honestly, I wouldn’t even be surprised if I was.

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I just wanna have the courage to leave, or better, wake up to an apology and her to change

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She claims she’s “too tired” and “going to bed” at 9-10, then stays up all night and pretends not to see my messages

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I don’t even think she’s trying anymore

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But hey, even throughout all that.

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Something not so cool happened today

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I waxed my fucking eyebrows and accidentally pulled hair off 💔💔💔

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But besides that. Ophelia also hasn’t told her parents anything about me and never made plans. I feel like she doesn’t even wanna see me

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She promised she would tell someone, yet never has.

iron terrace Jul 31, 2025, 3:44 AM

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(Entry #247)
7/30/2025 : 23:44 ~ A drawing I made

hi guys so idk what to post rn but schools in like 2 weeks and im bored so here’s a random drawing I made!!

Its the grape from grow a garden (a Roblox game)

iron terrace Aug 7, 2025, 3:37 AM

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(Entry #248)
8/6/2025 23:37 ~ My dad’s open house

So today was my dad’s second open house at his school!! It started at 1:30, but I came at 2. I was introduced by the SRO and the Principal. I walked in and after talking to some students visited some teachers

My learning strategies teacher told me I looked good and that she missed having me in her class! My history teacher asked me if I talked to Mateo (Ophelia) at all. I told him we’re back together.. again. He was kinda surprised. I spoke to more of my teachers but honestly I’m too lazy to type the rest out rn 💔

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Sorry this was basically a lazy one

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But

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My open house is tomorrow. I’m about to shower (yes at almost 11am 🫩✌️). And do literally everything (hair, skin, body scent, exfoliate, shave, etc). Plus do my lashes, eyebrows, and everything else

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I MIGHT wear a bit of makeup. I haven’t really done it in a long time so I forgot what I was doing 😭

iron terrace Sep 10, 2025, 12:40 AM

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(Entry #249)
9/9/2025 20:40 ~ 2025-2026 school year

hi guys 🤗
so sorry I haven’t been posting anything recently. Been busy with school.

This year SGA is actually doing work!! Surprisingly. There’s also been some drama between our President and Vice President. Not very cool.

There’s been a lot of fights. Especially between sophomores and freshmen.

Picture day was today. A little nervous. I also had my first test (AICE students have already had over 15 tests.. 😰), so I’m glad I’m not in AICE!

I HAD all As.. then it all suddenly went down. Went from 6 As (English II, Geometry, History, Teaching, Theatre, & Learning Strategies) to 4 As (History, Teaching, Theatre, & Learning Strat)

I have 2 Cs (English & Geometry, both should go up soon) and one D. Which is in chemistry.

I’ve joined art club, scholars club, and I’m gonna join key club too.

Me and Zyro have been better than ever.

Me and Ophelia were doing good, but now she suddenly wants to act weird. The thing is, I really do love her, but I’m hurt. I know if I make the decision to leave, or if she leaves, then I’m permanently moving on, and that’s a fact. I gave her 3 chances to try and prove herself right, and she’s failed every time.

I already feel left out in almost every class. I feel like the floater friend in every single friend group. One of my “friends” reported me for something I didn’t do (I didn’t get in trouble but I was fucking pissed), one of my other friends are also jealous as shit of me. I know that’s gonna sound like I’m just being cocky, but it’s pretty obvious once you realize what she’s doing. I’ve come to accept I don’t think I’ll ever have true friends inside school during highschool.

I have testing tomorrow, and they’re actually following the no-phone policy this year.

I’ll update tomorrow on my scores, and probably write about my own open house, SGA, clubs, etc.

See you then!! 😛

iron terrace Sep 15, 2025, 12:10 AM

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(Entry #250)
9/14/2025 20:10 ~ September 11, 2025

CW: ||Mentions of the Charlie Kirk Situation/Gun Violence||, ||9/11||
State testing was in September 10th, but I’ll put it under this post. Since I find it more important.

The day started off normal. It’s 9/11, and the Charlie Kirk situation just happened, so obviously people were talking about it first period. The teacher actually saw it on live TV, ||her fiancé at the time was also in the tower during 9/11||, she expressed that her daughter losing her father at a young age messed her up. And I felt really bad.

Second period, we did math, and I think a binder check. I kinda forgot.

Third period, the intercom came on. They gave a 4 minute speech about 9/11 and a moment of silence. Since it’s history class, obviously we spoke about ||9/11 & Charlie Kirk||.

4th period, lunch nothing happened.

5th period was pretty normal. Until the end. There was suspicious activity in the area and a substitute teacher accidentally started a lockdown. We were not told it was a drill. Matter of fact, our school has a system that said “This is not a drill”. Obviously, it’s September 11. So everyone takes it seriously.. or they were supposed to. Kids start laughing and showing eachother TikToks. My fifth period teacher picked up a broom and said ||”I’ll kill a motherfucka if he comes in here”||.

6th, we talked about the situation. 7th we had a weird sub. Not like creepy, but just.. weird. He was really old and I think he was seeing things.

8th period my friends went to other classes. My teacher was telling us how strange her day was. She saw a random person in a ski mask near the school (literally staring at it), my 7th period teacher sub asked her “Are you a student or teacher?” (she’s not super old but you can tell she’s a teacher), “Are you a real or substitute teacher” “Have you seen the coyotes dancing” and a bunch of other stuff. Even her dog has been acting super weird, almost human like.

The entire day was so strange.

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We found out later the fifth period incident was an accident. Still, horrible day to do that.

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On a side note, Ophelia’s + Zuri’s birthdays are coming up. So I’m writing them a book 🥹

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I also went from a 64% to an 84% in chemistry 🥳🥳

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And here’s the score I got on my first state test this year. I think this is the highest I’ve ever gotten for ELA. I’m very proud of myself. Especially since this is an end-of-year 10th grade exam. I’m only in the beginning.

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Now that you are here. I also want to spread awareness and give a moment for Aurora and Zyro’s family.

On 9/11, 2 of Aurora’s family members died in the Towers||, ||1 died in the Pentagon||. A member of Zyro’s family also died in one of the ||Hijacked Planes||.

Although they were not alive during this time, to this day, the two of them experience racism daily for it.

Zyro’s native language is Turkish and he is mixed. Aurora is also mixed, and I think I forgot to mention she is also Palestinian. Both speak Arab, and have followed/studied Islam atleast once in their life.

Racism is not cool. Don’t be racist.

And rest in peace to the 2,977 beautiful souls that passed away in this incident, from ages as young as 2 to 85.

And although they may not be alive, let this be a moment of respect to some of the people who tried to stop these hijackers.

Todd Beamer
Mark Bingham
Tom Burnett
Jermey Glick
And so many more.

Rest in peace to everyone involved.

Never forget.

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September 11, 2001.

iron terrace Sep 20, 2025, 1:09 AM

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(Entry #251)
9/19/2025 21:09 ~ Aurora’s quinceañera coming up

hi guys not much to post but since it’s become a recent discussion a lot irl, I decided to post it 😇

Aurora’s quince is in like 7 months. Originally, she was gonna wear a Burgundy-Gold dress with Ruby jewelry, but found a Light pink & rose gold dress she likes more, that fits her height and proportions. She bought the dress (same one) sized for Amara and her partner. She has my dress planned, and already got it for me. It’s royal blue and gold.

Over 200 people are coming. All I know is:

Zyro & his boyfriend are definitely coming. Aurora wants them to wear light blue and gold
Zuri is coming 100%. Aurora wants her to wear a white dress with silver jewels.
Alicia is coming with a soft lilac dress with gold
Sydney (Whose met Aurora like once or twice) is gonna wear Black & silver
Hannah (I’ve never met her, Aurora’s never met her, nobody besides Amara knows her. This is just what Aurora planned) is coming too. She’s gonna wear Emerald Green & Silver. Her sister (who nobody besides Amara have also met 💔) is coming. Wearing the same thing, but just gold
Aurora’s bestie from California is being flown out. She’s gonna wear Gold & White. Not similar to what Zuri’s wearing. Very different
3 of her online friends are coming! Marley is wearing dark brown, Kimberly & Belle are wearing Orange.
most of her family is wearing pure gold (girls), and the boys are wearing silver.

So yeah, that’s going on 😭

I’m kinda worried since Ive only went to one quince. There’s gonna be LOTS of people I don’t know, and even that Aurora doesn’t know. She gave me, Zyro, Amara, Zuri, and her other friends permission to invite people we wanted to go. I figured my brother wouldn’t want to and I asked Ophelia, she said she wouldn’t wish to. So I’m likely just gonna hang out with Zyro and my other friends there. I’m not worried about who Amara invites, cause I’ve met Alicia and Sydney from them they’re super kind.

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Also a bit worried because she doesn’t want us to wear like normal dresses. She wants us to wear quince dresses. Zyro promised me he’ll be by my side to comfort me, because I do get pretty insecure and uncomfortable in dresses (plus it’s gonna be hot as shit 💔💔💔😭) but I’ll be fine.

I don’t know a whole lot of information, but apperently it’s gonna be a very expensive venue. But she also told us there’s gonna be lots of desserts, fruits, and drinks there (plus vegetables but I LOVE fruit so yeah ☺️). She made sure to include a lot of mangos, pineapples, & watermelon because that’s mine, Amara, Zyro, and his bf’s favorite.

Zuri might bring her boyfriend. They are only dating to get married for religious reasons so who knows

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But even though it’s like 7 months away, she’s mentioning it a lot. I’m excited, kinda nervous, but only time will tell. It’s not my quince obviously, it’s hers. I’m not worried about outshining anyone before anyone accuses me. Just worried because what if I embarrass myself

iron terrace Sep 26, 2025, 10:58 PM

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(Entry #252)
9/26/3025 18:58 ~ Recent conversation with Zyro

(Mods he gave me permission to post 💔)

Recently I’ve just felt very unloved by Ophelia. I don’t make it my entire personality, me and Zyro talk about s lot more things, I actually talk about Ophelia a lot less than other things. But i was just so stressed out.

It’s the same shit. This is probably a weird this to post, but he just said it in the perfect way. I don’t know how else to rephrase it.

I don’t know what I wanna do, but I feel like I should keep this here incase I need a reminder.

I don’t agree with my appearance, nor the words he uses to describe her, but I feel like I’m gonna need this later.

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The conversation referred to is something Ophelia sent me. She sent me a screenshot of her old “best friend” saying

“hey”
“Uh”
“Idk if you want an update on Ezra but (with a photo attached)”
“My brotha how did you fumble”

Which she replied: “yeah I fucking know okay man?”

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But besides that

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I got to see all the dresses Amara wants me to wear

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ten. TEN different ones.

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That she is paying for

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Amara’s family is etupid rich. Her family is full of surgeons (Her mom is a neurosurgeon), lawyers (her dad is a judge), business owners, CEOs, pilots, etc. So she’s pretty well off. Aurora almost didn’t want her to (Aurora’s also stupid rich and goes to a private school), but Amara insisted. I also talked to Amara privately and she said to Me, Zuri, and Zyro, for her 16th birthday she wants to get Aurora a car. I was just like DAMN OKAY 😭

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Btw

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On the topic of Amara

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She’s graduating a year early, took all AICE, IB, Honors, and AP classes throughout highschool. Had a 5.11 GPA, transferred to 3 different schools, class officer, speaking at graduation, officer of TWELVE clubs, top 10 students in her grade, already homecoming court, did dual enrollment, and has multiple scholarships already

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Which doesn’t relate to me at all but I’m very proud of her for doing that so bravo to her

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4 of the officer positions are Honor Society Clubs (National honor society, English honor society, French honor society, and Spanish honor society). Her school offers those but mine only offers NHS 😢

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Also

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Awards in music, fine arts, theatre, JROTC, academics, and I think something signed by the president (which obviously isn’t actually from the president, but just printed)

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We are the exact same age.

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She’s doing all this so normally, with a JOB. meanwhile I’m struggling with all the free time on my hands. 💔💔💔

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I’m so proud of her though

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yes I’m like Highkey jealous who wouldn’t be but I’m so proud she’s made it this far

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She’s planning to get a doctorate, 3 masters, and some bachelor’s

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Her parents are, as I mentioned before, stupid rich, so if she struggles they’ll help her financially. But she has all SCHOLARSHIPS rn.

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Also I went to the doctors today for an eye appointment (at Walmart 😭). I was done so I went to the produce section (I got kombucha, pineapple, & mango 😚)

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dude I wish I was joking I saw Zyro and his boyfriend there. First thing that came out of my mouth was “Why am I seeing you EVERYWHERE recently”. Absolutely no idea why, but stuff was in my eye so I couldn’t see. I had them read the Kombucha bottle for me, and they were very helpful till my dad and brother came so much love to them ❤️

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anyways bye bye chat

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Illl coke back in like a day hopefully

iron terrace Oct 13, 2025, 3:24 AM

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(Entry #253)
10/12/2025 23:23 ~ Degrees I want (very unrealistic)

hi guys so I PROMISE I’ll post more 💔 but since I’ve been talking to my counselor about dual enrollment, I thought I’d share which degrees I want! Obviously, it might change overtime.

I’ll be prioritizing getting a Masters in Education & Business Administration, then a doctorate. Basically, in the way it’s listed is how I prioritize it. It’s pretty unrealistic & I’ll only do it if I’m super rich.

DOCTORATES:

Education/Educational Leadership (I want to be a principal & potential work as a College Professor. Might settle for a Masters)
Business Administration (I run 2 of my own businesses, but I might wanna settle with a masters)

MASTERS:

Public Administration (Higher salary advantages, network opportunities, and understanding more things)
History (My teaching teacher suggested this, since I said I wanted to be a middle school history teacher before becoming a principal. I might settle for a bachelors)
English (Incase I wanna be an AICE Gen Paper Teacher in highschool/an English professor)

BACHELORS:

Political Science (So I can understand more about current politics, I might settle for an associates or a minors)

ASSOCIATES:

Psychology (To understand myself and others more, critical thinking, & professional communication)
Liberal Arts (Creative thinking, artistic technique, one of my businesses, visual literacy, and design principles)
Nursing (LONGGG way to come. I don’t plan to be a nurse or enter the medical field whatsoever. Taking an estimate, I’d be in my 30s-40s by the time I even consider it. If I really do go through with it, I’d only do it for my own health, and my future partner’s health (if I have one).
Engineering (Unrealistic as fuck, but why not. Just for fun. Not a priority whatsoever)

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My brother doesn’t plan to go to college. My mom, I believe only has an education masters (emphasizing “only” since my parents, especially my dad, randomly decide to drop lore on me). My dad, from what I currently know, has a bachelors in history, a masters in Business Administration, and might go back to school to get a Masters in Educational Leadership

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My main priorities are (atleast a masters) in Business Administration & Education(al Leadership). I’ll try my best to prioritize (atleast a bachelors) in History, and potentially English.

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I’m still young. So things may change.

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on a side note I joined scholars club, DECA, key club (second year), and I got all As & Bs

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I’ll post my exact grades tomorrow. Not sure if they’re finalized yet, hopefully they are for quarter 1

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geometry and chemistry almost made me drop out 💔💔💔🙏

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But hey yk what my dad and brother failed chemistry. So im pleased with my grade

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Anyways for Q2 I’m gonna change some stuff up 😇

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Hopefully I get honor roll. And hopefully I’m eligible for dual enrollment

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I would be but yk like every other kid I chose to fuck around freshman year 😔 my GPA dropped from a 3.10 to a 2.89

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Atleast I’m not planning to go to Harvard or something 😇

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I love the fuckass 😇 emoji

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😇

iron terrace Oct 15, 2025, 1:30 PM

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(Entry #254)
10/15/2025 9:29 ~ My Q1 grades

Learning Strategies/Study Hall - 100%
Geometry - 80%
World History - 99%
Lunch - N/A (Lunch is its own separate class period now)
Chemistry - 90%
Theatre Tech - 100%
English II - 80%
Intro to Teaching - 96%

These are my finalized grades of the first quarter. I’m very satisfied, especially chemistry. Teaching, Theatre, and Study Hall is basically an automatic A. My dad is a World History teacher and I’m trying to get a masters in History, so that was also pretty automatically assumed, plus the class was very easy. Chemistry and Geometry were my biggest issues. English was easy yet hard at the same time.

Today was the second day of Q2. I currently have an 84% (was a 94) in Geometry and a 100% in Teaching.

I also have around 15 hours of community service for this year alone, I’m probably gonna get a lot more. Even up to 100.

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I’m in history rn I love this teacher bro phones are banned this dude could not give less of a shit

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I literally took my AirPods out to talk to him and he didn’t care 😭

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He’s funny as fuck but I’ll do another entry on that

iron terrace Nov 10, 2025, 4:04 AM

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(Entry #255)
11/9/2025 23:04 ~ Amara going to college

hi guys so I just need to vent because I’m really sad right now
Amara is going to graduate with over a 5.00 GPA, as a dual enrollment student, class officer, officer of 13 clubs, with an AICE & IB Diploma, multiple graduation awards, a perfect SAT/ACT/ESB Exam score, and more.

I’m so so proud of her. And I’m especially proud of her because she got accepted into an amazing university. I won’t be specific for her privacy, but this school has an EXTREMELY low acceptance rate, and if you live in America you absolutely know this school.

I’m so incredibly proud of her of course. And I’m not angry at her at all. Words can’t express how happy I am for her. But that means she has to move out of Florida. Her S/O, her brother, and her brother’s girlfriend also got accepted into the same school. I’m so beyond proud of all of them. If you knew what school I was referring to you’d completely understand why.

I already said this enough times, but I’m genuinely so fucking proud of her. But I’m so sad she’s leaving Florida. She’s one of my closest friends and one of the only people I can trust.

I’ll still be able to talk to her obviously. We’re in the same time zone. But you know what I mean?

All of them are graduating a year early with insane credentials. I don’t wanna make it about myself, but of course I’m sad she’s gonna go.

She’ll be leaving after graduation. Which is around April/May. No idea what the hell shes gonna be doing for Aurora’s Quinceañera, Mine/Zyro’s birthday, her birthday, Zuri’s graduation next year, etc.

I wish her the best, but I’m gonna miss her so much.

iron terrace Nov 24, 2025, 5:01 PM

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(Entry #256)
11/24/2025 12:01 ~ Our dream degrees

hi guys so I’m like fixated on college and stuff rn so I’m gonna give out my group’s ideal degrees 😻

Ezra: D. EdL, MBA, M.ED, MPA, MA English, MA History, MS Environmental Science, BA Elementary Ed, BA Political Science, AA Arts, AA Psychology, AS Nursing, (Possibly Associates in Engineering) — Plans to be a Principal/Professor/Work in the district school office

Zyro: D.Eng, MBA, LLM, MS Computer Science, MS Applied Mathematics — Plans to be an Engineer

Amara: DBA, MPA — Plans to run a business

Aurora: DNP, MSN (nurse Ed), MPH, BS in nursing, minors in psychology — Planning to become a Nurse.

Zuri: Th.D, Ph.D, M.A Christian Arts, M.A Biblical Studies, M.A English, BA English — Plans being a Christian Author

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I’m so freaking happy for Amara

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Her school had a 3.4% acceptance rate and she GOT IN ❤️

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Let me check everything else hold on

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Zuri’s school doesn’t publish its acceptance rate bc it’s a religious school

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Aurora’s ideal school’s is 61.7%

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Zyro’s school, that he goes to is a 97%

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But I’m pretty sure it’s also a private school

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My bachelors school has an 86% acceptance rate, my masters school is like 74%, and the doctorate is 97%

iron terrace Jan 4, 2026, 5:24 AM

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(Entry #257)
12/4/2025 : ~ New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS
so i haven’t posted a lot recently (sorry 💔🥹✌️) but im gonna post more in the next year

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I feel loved by Ophelia, everyone in the gc (Zyro, Aurora, Amara, and Zuri) are locked in, and I’m gonna post more this year

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My business is doing well, and I got 1k days in 99nitf, I’m also really enjoying this Roblox game called adopt me (shoutout to Zyro & Amara for spoiling me for no reason ❤️)

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I’m gonna post my grades for Q2 later today and (spoiler for later post, read if you want!! ||my GPA went from a 3.1 (8th grade) to a 2.7 (9th grade) to a 3.00 (10th grade)||! There’s so much room for improvement and I’m excited to enroll in dual enrollment

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Ophelia lowkey got banned on discord so that’s an event..

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And I was reading through my old messages, I’m probably gonna feel this way reading this one in a year but I was so dramatic omfg 💀

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But hey, good backstory and poetry, am I right?

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This is so unrelated but I also took a picture here (that I can’t share because it has my face 💔) of me with Zyro (6’5 1/2) and Fabian (his 7’2 boyfriend) and a few other pictures of them

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I’m so happy Zyro finally found someone that can actually treat him right

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I love Tall Love

iron terrace Jan 16, 2026, 3:21 AM

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(Entry #258)
1/16/2025 22:21 ~ I feel like I don’t have friends.

I genuinely feel like I have no friends.

Everyone that reads probably knows about Zyro, Amara, Aurora, and Zuri, a bit about my brother/parents, and definitely about Ophelia. But here’s the thing.

Zyro is super busy with his boyfriend, Fabian. Living together, working, school, etc. I’m absolutely not judging him, I’ve expressed it to him and he totally understands, I do too. But it still doesn’t make it hurt less. Aurora got a girlfriend, her name is Tiara, who is also taking up a lot of her time. Shes in a lot of honors too, and obviously we don’t go to the same school, so we’re talking a bit less. Amara is super busy because of graduation, moving to her university, and her business, so she can’t talk to a lot of people a whole bunch. So I know it’s not just me going through this with her.. so proud of her but it for sure hurts. Zuri is always at church and modeling. I’m proud of her accomplishments, but to say the least I’m still a bit saddened. I’ll always have them, and they’ll always have me, just not as close as we used to be.

My parents aren’t always the most supportive, so I can’t speak too much about some stuff. My brother is the same way.

Ophelia is very complicated. I love her so so much, but she isn’t the best person to talk to about stuff. She usually just says “Damn” “I’m sorry sweetie” and leaves it at that.

At school, my friends don’t like me. It’s been this way since 7th grade. They’re always sneak dissing me.

I said I was 116lb (I am) to my “friends” in theatre, and one of them said “I thought you were 160”. Nothings wrong with being 160, but I’m smart enough to know why she said that. The same girl also told me “I wouldn’t be too confident if I was you. The only people in this classroom that actually compliment you in here are the ESE kids.” (They mixed ESE and theatre up for some reason). But the thing is, that’s not just it. She always tries to embarrass me and make me

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(Continued) feel bad. One of those bitches fucking reported me for “touching her inappropriately” because I shoved her away from me. Fucking weird ass bitches

In teaching, my friends in there also try to sneak diss me. One of them said “If any of us were to be slow it’d be you..” girl bye all you bitch about is how you hate men and how hard school is (she’s in AICE). I’m not saying you can’t complain, but it’s all she talks about. She literally thinks Environmental Science and Psychology are harder than Chemistry.. no baby.. it isn’t. She went after my PSAT score like no fucking shit you got a higher score when you don’t need accommodations and you’re in algebra 2??? Let’s normalize using our brains for once instead of craving academic validation from people who you don’t like! 🤦‍♀️ Don’t get me started on the other one.. I know I sound mean but I’m tired of acting nice to people who don’t like me.

In math, they leave me out. And I could go on for so long. About every period. Then this girl has the audacity to make fun of me for having learning strategies?? I’m not trying to judge but when you literally need to take a class because you have so many absent credits.. I don’t wanna hear anything come out of your mouth.

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I know I sound mean, but I’ve gone through this since 7th grade.. maybe even earlier.

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I’m gonna make a rant about some of these people. I’m distancing myself, not I’m tired of it.

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I love my Zyro, I love my Amara, I love my Zuri, I love my Aurora, my Alicia, my Ophelia, and all of them to death. But I wish we could talk more. I guess that’s what happens when you grow up. You get more distant.

iron terrace Feb 11, 2026, 3:36 AM

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(Entry #259)
2/10/2026 22:36 ~ I’m alive

Holy shit guys I’m sorry it’s been a really long time since I last posted 💔 I promise im gonna post more

But I’m doing okay. I had Covid, and I was super duper sick, but I’m better now!

Soon I’m gonna post what subjects I’d like to teach most, and probably rant about geometry and chemistry

Speaking of geometry, I’m in geometry intervention now ☹️ but it’s okay I still have good grades

See you then!! 🥳🥳🥳

iron terrace Feb 14, 2026, 7:46 AM

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(Entry #260)
2/14/2026 2:46 ~ Happy Valentine’s Day

So I was gonna post something else but it’s Valentine’s Day so you know I had to post this 🥹🫰

Happy Valentine’s Day to my beautiful Ophelia.

Although we’ve definitely had our hardships moments and struggled, I never lost hope.

You’re such a kind and loving soul. Your heart is so pure; and that’s my favorite thing about you.

My motivation to wake up every morning is you. My favorite color is you. My favorite sound is your voice. Your voice is my favorite song. My favorite texture is you.

I love your stupid jokes and your face.

I love you.

Additionally, happy Valentine’s Day to all of my close friends & everyone else reading this.

iron terrace Feb 22, 2026, 5:22 PM

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(Entry #261)
2/22/2026 12:22 ~ Subjects I’d like to do most in school

Hai guys so as promised here’s the jobs id wanna do most in school 🥹✌️since im in the teaching program at my school

Principal
Assistant Principal
College Dean
Educational Leadership/Business Administration/Public Administration Professor
English/History/Envi Studies Professor
Marketing Teacher (9)
Social Studies Teacher (6-12)
Elementary School Teacher (3rd-5th grade)
English Teacher (7-12)
Environmental Science Teacher (10)
Study Hall/Learning Strat Teacher (6-12)
Biology Teacher (9)
School Counselor
School Psychologist
Psychology Teacher
Art Teacher
Theatre Teacher
Music Teacher
Dean of Discipline
Security/SRO (Id probably never do that though, who knows?)
School district employee; specifically talent (for school like transportation, or budgeting
Elementary school teacher (K-2nd grade)
Pre-Kindergarten Teacher (NOT daycare!!)
Mathematics Teacher (Geometry/Statistics)
Special Education

Anyways, next I’m gonna do some stuff I’d do if I taught teach subject!

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Maybe I’d be a health teacher idk

iron terrace Feb 25, 2026, 2:55 AM

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(Entry #262)
2/24/2026 21:55 ~ What I’d have in my classroom as an environmental science teacher

If I was an environmental science teacher, my dream classroom would be this (just going off what the environmental science class looks like at my school!):

First of all, I’d want a big paper tree on my wall. I found one I really liked for not that expensive.
I’d want signs. One that shows Parts of a plant, types of fish/mammals/reptiles/amphibians, flower anatomy, and classifications of living things (from domain to species)
I’d want a bunch of butterflies and leafs on my wall.
If they let me have one, I’d have a class pet. The environmental science classes in my school are large in size, so I’d want either a snake (hognose, ball python, or corn), frog, fish, or crested gecko) — but I’d likely get this animal in atleast a year or two of being in this classroom. Class pets are a lot of money.
My Ed Leadership Doctorate & Master of Environmental Studies degree on my board ofc! Similar to how my mom has her masters degree in her class (ed leadership).
Ceramic flowers! If I didn’t have access to a kiln I’d probably purchase them from a local store. I’m a sucker for ceramics.
Class plants of course! Can’t have an environmental science class with no plants
A little section for a small library with books about environmental stuff during free time (I probably wouldn’t allow phones, depending on the school).. probably wouldn’t be used by students, but I know I’d read them over and over again.
A big whiteboard with wheels
A shelf of supplies (regular pencils, mechanical pencils, highlighters, calculators, glue, scissors, etc)
A list of admin’s names/he’ll schedule (all teachers at my school have this)
A little fridge, microwave, and coffee maker for me ofc! Wouldn’t be a science teacher without one 😇
Big letters spelled out & spray painted to make my last name. (I’d never change my last name no matter who I’m marrying!!)

iron terrace Mar 16, 2026, 2:54 AM

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(Entry #263)
3/15/2026 22:54 ~ Rest in Peace Mango.

TW: ||Dead pets||

||My air conditioning broke in the Florida Heat. Which unfortunately caused Mango (my crested gecko) to pass away on March 3rd of 2026.||

My heart hasn’t been broken any less since. ||I woke up to him fully alive and fine, ended with him buried in my backyard.|| ||I know it wasn’t my fault, but I can’t help but feel like it is.||

||I’m absolutely heartbroken. Sometimes I still open his cage to feed him and forget.||

Thank you to Zyro for helping me so much during this time.

Rest in peace Mango. You’ll never be forgotten, 🥭🧡🦎

iron terrace Mar 16, 2026, 3:14 PM

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(Entry #264)
3/16/2026 11:14 ~ My blue dog in Adopt Me

I feel like yesterday wasn’t an appropriate time to post this.
Yesterday, I got a Rideable Blue Dog in Adopt me. If you don’t know what Adopt me is, it’s a game on Roblox about taking care of pets. A blue dog is from 2019 (when pets first came out). They’re very rare, almost nobody has them.

I traded a Rose Dragon, Candicorn, and German Shepard for one. I was a bit sad, but eh, they were hard to trade and there will be more possibilities in the future (Plus I got an extra German Shepard!)

I named him Blueberry. He has a sister who is a Pink Cat (Zyro gave it to me a while ago! 💙🩷) who I’ve named Strawberry. 🍓🫐

A blue dog been my dream pet for a long time. I cried real tears when I got it.

He’s currently rideable, I might add a Fly potion to him!l

Meet Blueberry, my Adopt me Blue Dog.
I may possibly make this a series!
Next up,

Pink Cat (Strawberry)
Neon Bandicoot (Princess)
Neon Bunny Swirl (Cinnamon)
my golden chow chow
Dire Wolf
Neon Mexican Wolf (Zyro)
Rose Dragon (Ophelia’s actual name)
Arctic Dusk Dragon
Frost Phoenix
Chameleon (Pascal)
Gecko 1 (Milo)
Gecko 2 (Mango)
Gecko 3 (Zuko)
Gecko 4 (Bacon)
Gecko 5 (Porkchop)
Ginger Cat (Biscuit)
Ginger Cat (Oreo)
Glormy Dolphin (Spacy)
Cocoadile (Coco, yes it’s spelled Cocoadile! ^^)

iron terrace Apr 15, 2026, 2:38 AM

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(Entry #265)
4/14/2026 22:38 ~ Me & Zyro

The more I talk to Zyro the more I realize how soulmate like we are. Not in a romantic way, but in a platonic way.

We’ve been friends for like 8, almost 9 years. We have the same birthday (separate years), and have gone through similar things.

We’ve seen eachother crying, smiling, in our best, and in our worst moments. We went that close until 2022. After April 21 of 2023, we became inseparable.

I’ve learned so much from him. Similar as we are, we have differences. In the day that was supposed to be mine & Ophelia’s 2nd year anniversary, I woke up at 9am to see Zyro text me asking if I was okay because he could just feel that I wasn’t.

One of us was a teacher towards the other, and the other wants to BE a teacher.

I’ve learned so much. Whether it’s engineering, chemistry, math, reading, etc. Zyro is the reason I even started playing 99nitf & BSS. Zyro’s the reason I’m not a brokie in adopt me.

Zyro is truthfully my best friend. I treasure this friendship so deep inside of my heart.

I’m thankful for everything he’s watched me through.

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I SWEAR ILL PSOT MORE

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💔💔💔

iron terrace Apr 29, 2026, 8:22 PM

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(Entry #266)
4/29/2026 16:22 ~ School motivation

I’ve felt so unmotivated to do school work recently. I feel like I’m going back to the way I was freshman year.

I had all As & Bs the entire school year. I have my Florida Civic Literacy Exam, Geometry EOC, and Reading FAST soon. I’m so scared. I cried during 7th & 8th period. NEITHER of my friends in 8th period cared. Maybe that sounds entitled, but they’re supposed to be my friends. They don’t like me.

I was 2 points away from writing & 1 point away from reading on my accuplacer to be eligible for dual enrollment.

Nothing’s going right for me. I don’t understand chemistry. I don’t understand geometry. I feel like a loser.

I was crying to Zyro and he asked me “What’s gone wrong in the full run?”
I asked what he meant and he said “Well if you didn’t mess around freshman year you’d have a completely different schedule. You would’ve never met your English teacher, your chemistry teacher, history teacher, or your math teacher. I know you’re stressed but let’s be honest, deep down you know whether you get in Dual Enrollment or not you’re not failing the FAST. And they’re not putting you in English 3, they’re putting you in Gen paper.” He went on a bit and then I realized everything HAS played out how it’s supposed to. I’ve met the people I should’ve and I’ve met people I know to stay away from.

But I’m still scared. I’m hoping I can atleast end with a B in all my classes.

Picture 1 is my quarter 1 grades.
Picture 2 is my quarter 2 grades.
Picture 3 is my quarter 3 grades.
Picture 4 is my quarter 4 (current) grades.

I’m still nervous. But I’m staying to feel better.

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It’ll always be Zyro who’s there for me.

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In every life

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Also; this probably deserves its own post. But I plan to graduate early

iron terrace May 9, 2026, 5:00 PM

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(Entry #267)
5/9/2026 13:00 ~ my adopt my dream pets

I’m bored so here’s a list of my dream pets in adopt me 🥹✌️

M = Mega
N = Neon
F = Fly
R = Ride

MFR Bat Dragon
NFR/MFF (w/ Amythest Skies mega paint) Shadow Dragon
NFR/MFR (w/ Frosty Glow Mega paint) Frost Dragon
MFR/FR Giraffe
NFR/FR Evil Unicorn
MFR/NFR/FR Cow
FR Turtle
FR Kangaroo
M/N/Reg Giant Panda
FR Cryptid
FR Arctic Reindeer
FR SSBD
FR CCBD
FR FBD
FR Owl
FR Crow
FR Parrot
FR Balloon Unicorn
R Siamese Cat
R Alley Cat
N Grave Owl
N Sugar Axolotl
M Golden Jaguar
Munchkin Cat
Dango Penguins
Sushi Penguins
Velocirooster
Silverback Gorilla
Fallow Deer
FR Cabbit
Peppermint Penguin
Influencer Gibbon
FR Cupid Dragon
FR Kitsune
Mechapup
Mecha Meow
Memicorn
African Wild Dog
Hot Doggo
Sugar Glider
Honey Badger
Grim Dragon
Vampire Dragon
Phantom Dragon
Glormy Leo
Glormy Hound
Corn Doggo
Dalmatian
Hedgehog
Crocodile
Caterpillar
Flamingo
Lion
Torguta de la Isla
Christmas Pudding Pup
N Ghost Dog
Goose
Elephant
Border Collie
Pig
Drake
Silly Duck
Meerkat
Shark Puppy
Chicken
Shark
Cerberus
Princess Capuchin Monkey
N Moonbeam Peacock
72 Zombie Buffalo
M Dark Choccybunny
Turkey
Llama
Therapy Dog
Pig
Black Mummy Cat
White Mummy Cat
Golden Mummy Cat
Leopard Cat
Scarecrow Cat
Pudding Cat
Rock
All the April Fools 2023 pets
The Camp refresh pets (Besides muskrat)

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So i have a very long way to go ✌️💔

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But it’s okay 🪿

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Idk what to post about next

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But I’m doing better

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I still have a D in chemistry

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And my geometry EOC is soon & im running for class president against this girl

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BYW

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BTW

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in the state of Florida you have to pass your 10th grade reading state test to graduate

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I got a 3 (passing) 🥳

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So I don’t ever have to take intensive reading again or stress about that

iron terrace May 19, 2026, 10:04 PM

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(Entry #268)
5/19/2026 18:04 ~ Not winning Class President

Most of you may know I’ve been Class Secretary since freshman year. I ran for president this year.

Yesterday the SGA Advisor told me to go to her office, I went and she told me “The other girl, I don’t even know her name, won”. She tried to talk to admin, but even though she won only by around 3 votes, they wouldn’t change it or allow us to do interviews. She told me she’ll find a position for me. I was ranting to my friends at lunch — maybe it sounds entitled, but I’ve been working hard for 2 years. I’ve gotten almost no appreciation from my class officers. Nobody knows who the other girl is.

I spoke to her today in the morning. She said she’ll have my secretary position available.

I said I’ll take it, but I also told her that I felt like I’ve been working so hard for the past 2 years, and I’ve felt unappreciated by all of my officers (not from the ones not in my class, but the ones who were); and if I’m Secretary, I’m doing my Secretary roles and not anyone else’s, I’m not doing the president’s stuff for them (This isn’t me trying to be mean, but she didn’t come to any meetings. I see how this is gonna go). She said she understood and told me to stop by later.

I stopped by third period since we weren’t doing anything in history. Her class wasn’t doing anything since it was the senior’s last day. We talked about a few things; I can’t remember all of it, but I do remember one thing.

“We’re going to be stricter this year. If anyone misses one event and/or two meetings. They’re out. If she misses one event or two meetings, she’s out and the advisor is putting me for president.

7th period they called our names for council & class officers. I was put as secretary. They couldn’t even pronounce my first or last name correctly (I go by “Oli” at school). I was honestly more annoyed at that. It’s a 3 letter name and you still can’t pronounce it?? 💔💔

But yeah. Let’s hope next year comes in my favor.

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Maybe me not being elected for president is a blessing in disguise. Who knows

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The junior advisor for next year is my chemistry teacher’s friend

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A little worried because I’ve heard mixed things. But I’m sure it’ll be okay

iron terrace May 21, 2026, 11:30 PM

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(Entry #269)
5/21/2026 19:30 ~ It feels like a one-sided battle for love.

I love my Ophelia but I just feel ridiculous. I’ve wrote so many books about her, so many poems, so many entries, so many songs, I’ve made so many pieces of art, and even bouquets.

I want a significant other who will be proud of me when I get my degrees.
I want a significant other who doesn’t judge me for wanting to get 1 doctorate, 14-15 masters, 1 bachelors, and 5 associates (Yes I counted), even if it’s “unrealistic” or expensive.
I want a significant other who genuinely likes talking to me.
One who is supportive,
One who is attentive,
One who is willing to love me.

I want my Ophelia back.
The girl who’d support me throughout everything.
The girl who always made time for me.
The Ophelia I could talk to about everything.
The girl I ran to first because I knew she didn’t judge.

I’m a good girlfriend, at least I think.
I’ve made her so many things, I’ve always been there for her, I’ve always paid attention to her. I’ve been there for her when nobody else was. I’ve dropped so many opportunities for this girl. I smell good, I’m a good baker, I’m a good writer, I’m smart.. I think. I feel like I’m pretty, although I don’t see it, others say they do, including her.
I don’t know what else I could do to make her care for me.

Every time I ask her to change, it’s the same thing.
I wish I had the courage to put my foot down, literally.

But more importantly, I’d wish she change,
I wish I could have my Ophelia back.

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uh but besides all that sad shit

iron terrace May 21, 2026, 11:31 PM

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iron terrace (Entry #267) 5/9/2026 13:00 ~ my adopt my dream pets I’m bored so here’s a list...

Look who got a Neon Grave Owl!

#Ezra's Journal