Britbong bap

[stone spruce]

‘ere bruv, didn’t you pinch the vicars knickers?
the guvna’ll switch those puffy britches
“twas but a gag to av ya rollin’ in stitches”
“used em on the old bag that’s shaggin’ me missus”

shivved by a chav in the london underground
another night with the lads - english apocalypse now
hope this creep just wants to murder a curry not me
brexit wrecked it, voted to leave and now we’re so sorry

[stuck talon]

I copped the cobblestones as I watch me bottle go
Slippery little blinders and we drunks put on a show

[stone spruce]

sir thy weapon of choice in our battle i find to be most lacking
I bringeth pen thee brung us a chore most dissatifacteth (I’m a pom I get to make up words)
pack upeth thy quill and ink and present them before thy queen
a shilling would bring more gleam than thy verse along with hearty sheen

[stuck talon]

Tis the cheapest of the cutlery, the plastic for the peasants
A shilling for the queen? I bet you're good with presents...
The fatty with the fork-lift can barely punch buttons
This chumbawumba won't get up again when I get to Tub Thumpin'

[stone spruce]

well oil be a dogs bollock if all yoose hairy southern fairys
don’t give ya goochies a good wallop when the cricket is aired

[copper path]

FWIW, tubthumping is chumbawumba's worst song, they have an amazing catalogue of political/electronic/punk/folk music. Highly recommend.

[spare vortex]

colonialism colonialism i yoink the treasures of countries less powerful than me
yoink yoink yoink human rights violation yoink yoink yoink yoink oops all theft
yoinkity yoink good fun innit

[stone spruce]

ima comin at ya missus like she’s tea and I’m a biscuit
then off to the chippy for mushy peas and curried fishticks
then it’s down to the local to bottle some poor mug
drown myself in warm beer I’m a bit of a tosser on the suds

och-aye lass ye ha naer seen more pedigree than this bonny-scot
ayl toss a caber oil wager fair across the loch
horp e don’t wayk nessie could get messy if she pops op
godda pressie under me sporan lif mah kilt yel get a shock

[stone spruce]

KIPPERS FOR BREAKFAST?! exclaimed the maid
“a tip of my hat what a marvellous way to start one’s day!”
sweeping up her petticoats she rang to summon the chimney sweep
“there soot on the masters underclothes you filthy ratbag beast!”

and so the filthy urchin was cast out into the street
where he was promptly stricken by acarriage and trampled under-feet
luckily a passing butcher nicked his organs to sell as meat
when you’ve been living on just rats and scraps an orphan is a treat

[copper path]

Ye gads, me lads, wot right lovely pyramids
I'd take 'em home, but they won't fit on the ships

[stone spruce]

nice country aboriginals, now it’s ours so suffer fools

[copper path]

(imagining Chazza reacting to some of this 🤣 )

[stone spruce]

I’ll loot ya tomb like Tutankhamen dude
I’ll take ya mummy guardian too
to unleash a curse upon the british empire
then watch it deflate like a shredded tyre

[copper path]

or a witch on a pyre

[stone spruce]

one little argument to raise my neighbours ire
and the mobs got me in the middle of a witch trial
he says I turned him to a newt with my wicked wile
now I’m sitting in a pyre while he smiles by the fire

[copper path]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB5ig6vpQug

[stone spruce]

well.. I got better!

[stone spruce]

I got the bubonic plague blues son feels like i always lose
best part of the chronic pain is an endless supply of free shoes
the vicars in a righteous rage from losing victims from his pews
sittin tight in this cage il use me knickers for a noose

god save the queen we meant it cunt
wave a pride flag to front shes just as dead as punk
if sid saw this hed probably spunk
jonny rotten is a maga fashy lickspit and can go suck a fat dick
hes done

punks dead but in our hearts lives on
its about fucking the system not drip and fashion
show passion in ya livin not in f** bashing
we gotta flush the cistern send these turds packing