Lemon - Kwon Yeo-Sun

[nova jackal]

BR duration: <t:1688256000:D>-<t:1690070400:D>
BR leader: @nova jackal
Link: #buddy-reads message

[stable tundra]

👋

[nova jackal]

@frozen zodiac @keen jetty @left roost @warm vessel @austere delta @short oxide @stable tundra @open haven @wispy bough @cobalt axle @bronze fable @clever basin

Welcome to the buddy read of Lemon by Kwon Yeo-Sun 🍋

The BR starts today and ends on 23rd July so be sure to read and discuss the book until then to get the points.

A question to start us off:
👗 Do you have any expectations about this book?

Happy reading!!

[short oxide]

nope! i joined solely because the cover is yellow, which is perfect for the summer bingo and korean literature has been trending too

[warm vessel]

I really gotta find this book

[keen jetty]

No expectations, in fact i already forgot what i knew about the plot

[stable tundra]

Zero expectations tbh

[cobalt axle]

I read the book but I’m here for the conversation :))

[open haven]

I’m with Vio on this, I did read the blurb a long while ago when I’d bought the book but have since forgotten so no expectations

[frozen zodiac]

I'm not sure why or how or who recommended it to me, but I had this book on my tbr already, so now I'm curious why I put it there (also this is my summer bingo book as well lmao)

[wispy bough]

no expectations. the summary just sounded cool.

[wispy bough]

Chp 3 (Lemon, 2010): ||one word for this chapter: yellow. everything is yellow||

[wispy bough]

finished!|| i think this book was a bit too deep for me, and i was more invested in finding out who killed hae-on (did she kill herself? considering yun taerim's account) rather than the grief and loss.||

also the last two chapters were so confusing. ||first of all, why is dae-on like a totally different person in sarcoma, 2017 than she was in the previous stories? and the last chapter barely had any connection to hae-on||

[austere delta]

I expect lemons. A lot of lemons.

[frozen zodiac]

Chapter 3, Lemon (2010) ||I was so confused throughout this chapter and the previous one, but I guess that’s also kind of the point of the book. Only in the last few pages did it make sense to me and I’m so curious||

[bronze fable]

I'm begining this now
I didnt realise how short it is

[warm vessel]

I expected something possibly a little sad; something that leaves a bitter/sour feeling behind after it's finished.

I noted down all my thoughts so now I thought dump

1~ || When you're describing this kind of scene...do we really need the "smooth, glossy hair" description not to mention this person is just kind of imagining it? ||
2~ || "Just like you'd want to kick an injured dog that growled at you" - uhm...I can't say I would The characters are kinda unlikeable so far..I mean I understand it's not really the kind of characters you would be routing for but I just don't love them rn ||
3~ || This chapter is so tragic how hard it was on Da-on, not only losing her sister but having to deal with this added pressure and guilt only amplified by her mother. I feel so bad for her. ||
|| "I cried not knowing who I was supposed to become" okay this book has some good sentences spread here and there, idk why I appreciate that one so much, it's so sad ||
4~ || This is an interesting switch-up of writing ||
6~ || I'm not sure how I feel about this kind of narration now.. ||
7~ || The time jumps are so confusing because of the lack of context...it becomes a bit unclear as to who is narrating what (pretty much the only giveaway is when names are mentioned). I just feel like too much was glossed over for us to end up in this place with the characters acting so different to who we met not 40 pages before...I get it's a short book spanning years but still ||

Finished~ || I really don't know how to feel about this one. I felt so disconnected while reading it especially the further I got through the book. I don't really know what to say. I liked some sentences but I just didn't feel like there was the depth there that it needed. It could be in part to losing stuff in translation idk||

[nova jackal]

i saw your rating on GR

🫠

[bronze fable]

chapter 2 ||Like Sinaa said i dont want to kick an injured dog if it growls at me. Like even if you dont have the sympathy to not do it, its still very stupid since you risk getting bit (though you kinda deserve it if you kick an injured dog)||

[warm vessel]

I was struggling what to rate it I think that's where it falls for me

[clever chasm]

I was struggling
what to rate it I think that's
where it falls for me

- .sinaa.

[warm vessel]

so true haiku, so true

[bronze fable]

chapter 3 or 4||The idea of having to take responsibility of my siblings underwear like the idea makes me grossed out||

[bronze fable]

chapter 4 ||I wonder if its Da-on that killed her||

[frozen zodiac]

chapter 6 ||This dialogue is all over the place. Is she calling herself a cold-hearted person? And looking if they exist? or is shy implying someone else is in this murder mystery? I'm so confused ||

[frozen zodiac]

finished it
||I feel like this is maybe a reread worthy book for me. I liked the dialogue and the disconnection was something I had to get used to, but it made sense, I guess a traumatic experience and grief can do that to a person and make life feel disconnected. The last chapter though, I feel like it makes sense she felt more at ease, but that whole story with Jun Taerim's baby and all that didn't make fully sense to me. ||

Overall, ||it was an interesting read, but I don't feel like I got the whole story in just one go. I am interested though because of this to read more korean literature and also to dive a bit deeper in other people's analysis of the book.||

[frozen zodiac]

||yeah, i feel like so confused by that switch up in character in Sarcoma too. The only thing that I feel like is a bit on the nose is that she went polar opposite, from skinny, attractive wearing a yellow to having put on weigth, glasses (which according to all the make over scenes in movies makes you less attractive) and purple clothing. But the non-explanation makes it weird, it makes me mostly wonder if she had anything to do with Taerim's baby being kidnapped and then Manu's death and she can finally "be at ease" or smth like that.||

[bronze fable]

I finished ||<i think this book was way to deep for me Im so confused Im not even sure what this book is about like i thought it would kinda be a mystery on who killed Hae-on with some exploration of grief on the side but im still not sure who killed her and how everything is connected ||

[nova jackal]

finished ch 2 - Poem, 2006
||i have no idea what is going on tbh... the characters are interesting but so unlikeable and I can't quite see what is going on... i do want to know though, it's a bit intriguing the way it tells the story ||

[nova jackal]

finished Rope, 2010 (ch. 4)
||what was this soo i'm guessing the girl, the one who got on that scooter is the same one in Rope 2010? this is very confusing ngl||

[nova jackal]

ch 6 ||i do not comprehend ||

i finished

||i don't feel like this book is for me i also have no idea what this was about... well i sorta do, but I don't want to bother trying to get my braincells going rn... i mean, the sister wanted to get revenge.. but she feels bad for Han Manu's family getting involved again and decides not to? especially because he died too? i don't even know anymore ||

[keen jetty]

If you don't even understand it i'm not sure i should even bother to start the book

[nova jackal]

it's an... interesting experience

to get it off your tbr? lol it's pretty short too

[bronze fable]

Did.....did anyone even understand this book

[nova jackal]

well, not entirely but i do think i kinda get it now

[open haven]

why is this making me want to start this asap now

I want to join the confused gang

[nova jackal]

do it LOL it's pretty short too, so you can finish it in one day

[keen jetty]

I'm curious

[warm vessel]

You can understand my rating now right?

[warm vessel]

I don't think so

this is so funny to me we're all just here like

[nova jackal]

yes

[warm vessel]

omg

LAE YOU'RE BEAUTIFU:lfgl

[nova jackal]

i mean i understand it now LOL no longer part of the confused gang 😔

[warm vessel]

I'll remain confused

It's just one of my personalities at this point

[keen jetty]

I'll join you soon i guess :D

[nova jackal]

i can try to explain it lol

[frozen zodiac]

I kinda got it, but idk, it's confusing on purpose I feel like

[nova jackal]

yeah that's the whole point lol

you're not supposed to have like the answer to everything

[frozen zodiac]

true

I am curious though to the original text, I've been trying to hunt down the original korean version

[nova jackal]

can you read Korean

[frozen zodiac]

yeah, I'm between a beginner and intermediate level, but I feel like it could be a good book to study some vocabulary

I love learning new languages

[open haven]

Okay, I’m starting this now!

Also Lae, I love your new look, so prettyyyyyy

Shorts, 2002
||ooooh so this is a murder-mystery? The narrator trying to figure out the killer? Or is it to show the incompetency of law enforcers?
I don’t like this detective guy but the one being questioned is idk… not helping? ||

Poem, 2006
||Feel sad that Da-on went through plastic surgery to look like her sister :((
I feel like there’s a lot more to unpack, like maybe it’s not about the murder but just how everyone copes with life after someone you know gets murdered…
So far it seems fast paced and I’m intrigued ||

[open haven]

Lemon, 2010

||This chapter
I hate when this happens, when parents forget the existence of their other kid/s if one of them is dead/sick/ or whatever ails them. It’s just so sad and I feel awful ||

‘||At last a door that had been shut for a long time was opening, and radiant light came flooding in. And so began the revenge of the yellow angel. Lemon, I muttered. Like a chant of revenge, I muttered: Lemon, lemon, lemon.”||

||I find this interesting, of all things, why a lemon?
Lemons can be sour, lemons can be sweet, lemons can be the most unexpected treat (okay shush hanzy)

Bright and light, it’s a warm colour like the sun yet gives off a cool feel that refreshes us
Da-on and the amount of yellowness in this chapter and then finally when she calls herself lemon
Maybe I’m reading too much into it but lemons are yellow, a bright and happy colour, yet they don’t have the same warm tone as the sun, they’re cool
Also, lemons taste sour with an edgy sweetness sometimes and perhaps her being lemon, she supposedly seems like the bright energy shining through the lives of others but is sour and struggling on the inside || okay I should stop I’m going nowhere, this book and the day I’ve had today are working together in making me think weird

Rope, 2010
||This chapter was… a ride
So is her fiancé like the murderer? Or like she suspects him of something? Or does she know more than she lets on and is basically traumatised by being with this person long-term? ||

Knees,2010

“||Some lives are unfair for no apparent reason, but we carry on, completely unaware, like miserable vermin. As I had half suspected, their mother, who worked in a restaurant kitchen, had dwarfism. She was very small, as if Seonu had been shrunken down much more severely. For some strange reason, when I saw their mother, it became very clear where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do. Even my direction in life became certain. First of all, I could no longer live with my mother. In no way could she ever become involved. But I’d go back to her one day. One day I would be back.”||

||Okay Da-On is not half bad a character, I get her initial anguish and then the eventual realisation and then her thoughts at the end…
Is she going to use them or help them or both? I can’t decipher her intentions||

God,2015
||I feel like chapters of this particular character(as neurotic as she seems to be) has a lot to unpack
Was Hae-on being abused? Was there an older guy? It explains her spacey-ness and stuff, I feel like there was a lot going on but sadly, the dead cannot talk and we’ve only been faced with perspectives of those quite far removed from Hae-On, like Da-On may be her sister but she was young and possibly unaware of a lot going on in her sister’s life and this other person was a mere classmate who knew Da-On better than Ha-On ||

Wait, why am I somewhat liking this book? It’s quite intriguing

Sarcoma, 2017
||Oh so Taerim is the neurotic one I had my suspicions but if she’s so obviously not okay, did no one really have an actual conversation with her after Hae-On’s death? How are her one sided conversations so clearly indicative of her mental state yet those around her have failed to notice?
I found the conversation between the two interesting, Da-On was really impacted by Han Manu’s life and tbh it is quite sad. Sanghui is right about Da-On having been lonely, having to go through so much without a shoulder to lean on ||

||´To skim the fat for someone she never skimped on?”||
||I find it interesting that this works for English too despite being translated? Or idk, my mind’s currently on an overdrive ||

Dusk, 2019
||> “I still can’t help but wonder, do our lives truly hold no meaning? Even if you try desperately to find it, to contrive some kind of meaning, is it true that what’s not there isn’t there? Does life leave only misery behind? Could the fact that we’re alive—the fact that we’re in this life where joy and terror and peace and danger mingle—couldn’t that itself be the meaning of life? Hadn’t Han Manu, with an iron in one hand and a crutch wedged under his other arm, been more alive than anyone in this world, more alive than the cancer cells that had spread to his lungs? Hadn’t my sister Hae-on—as she sat with her feet on the sofa or car seat, her knees spread with not a thought in her head, with absolutely no clue as to the inappropriateness of her actions—been warm and exquisitely alive, just like a bird about to take flight? Couldn’t each moment we’re living now be the meaning of life?”||

I need to let my thoughts simmer a little before I post them here

If there’s anything I’ve learnt, expect the absolute worst of a book and you may end up enjoying it slightly

[open haven]

The more I let my thoughts simmer, the more concrete and vivid my theories seem to get and I’m going over this whole thing quite obsessively almost like analysing a literature piece (okay not so much but yeah)

I’ll share them soon-ish because they make total sense to me

[warm vessel]

LMAO I love that little poem you did about lemons that's the highlight of my day omg

[warm vessel]

|| I love your analysis about it so much omg I didn't think of it like that but it totally makes sense that's genius ||

It was so wonderful reading all your thoughts as my morning reading it definitely changes my perspective on the book a little. There are so many great points

[open haven]

Thanks Sinaa!!

Okay hear me out, I’m going to attempt putting the thoughts in my head in words but I’m sort of bad at it so I’m hoping this makes sense:


||‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
'
I feel the title of this novel and Da-On’s self-association with lemons make a lot of sense when we consider this proverbial phrase. Because that’s what Da-On does, she makes lemonade out of injustices (lemons) she’s found in life.

Okay, so there are three perspectives - Da-On, Sang-hui (Hae-On’s classmate but closer to Da-On), and the one-sided conversations of a somewhat neurotic person (Yun Taerim)

.
Other characters we know of are Han Manu and his family, Shin Jeongjun, and Da-On’s mother. 
Here’s what happened imo, the day Hae-On was murdered, she was in the car with Shin Jeongjun. I believe there was stuff going on between the three and Taerim and Jeongjun had been dating. So when Taerim spots someone in Jeongjun’s car, she wants to have a closer look and Han Manu being an unfortunate passerby in the scene gets asked for a ride because Tae-rim wishes to see who’d been in Jeongjun’s car (Ik it sounds pretty dramatic but these are teens so I’m considering it plausible) Han Manu is over the moon to give Taerim a ride because she’s considered super gorgeous and doesn’t consider anything else and is almost protective of her as well, because well. she’s pretty||

Exhibit A:

||“A stupid detective wouldn’t have figured it out, but if a girl, who’s ashamed of being seen on a scooter, asks an idiot boy for a ride on his delivery scooter and then tells him to pass Shin Jeongjun’s car, only to get off immediately, isn’t the reason obvious? She was simply trying to see who Shin Jeongjun was with. After confirming my sister’s presence in the car, Taerim had promptly gotten off the scooter. What exactly had she seen at that moment? How beautiful my sister looked? How indifferent? How cruel?”||

||Shin Jeongjun has an obvious alibi, but what we also know is that he comes from wealth and has the means of buying said ‘alibi’. Yun Taerim is barely questioned or even considered anything because well, she’s a girl and you need obvious strength for murder and so we come to ||Exhibit B -

>

||“Rather than try to find the real culprit, the detective would have considered whom he could—or should—crush and turn into the culprit. And that’s exactly what he tried to do.”

||
||The case never received the closure it needed, the murderer was never truly identified but someone crushable was definitely crushed and the victim’s family, especially Da-On (suffered a whole lot)

There’s no clear indication of who the actual murderer was but imo, Shin Jeongjun and Yun Taerim were the most obvious suspects, at least in Da-On’s opinion and her anger is directed at the injustice of it all and leads her to commit a crime that she knows is unfathomable,|| Exhibit C -
||“But more than anything, she was at that mythical age: eighteen. Who dared destroy her lovely form? Was it Han Manu, Shin Jeongjun, or a third figure? Now I know—not who killed my sister, but who didn’t. No, that’s not true. I know who the murderer is. That’s why I did what I did, and I know I’ll never be free from this crime until the day I die.I hear my mother’s voice and a child laughing. The child’s laugh rings like a bell, announcing my guilt. Soon this child will enter elementary school, and I’ll become a school parent. Before June of my sixteenth year, I never imagined I’d be living this way. Not once have I desired this kind of life, yet here I am. What meaning, then, could life possibly hold? I didn’t desire such a life for myself, but at the same time, I can’t say I didn’t choose it”||

||Okay now that’s out of the way, we come to “Da-On’s crime”||

||“Ten years after my sister’s death, my mother held in her arms a live baby named Hye-eun. This baby was my gift to her.”
||
||In Yun Taerim's POV, we find out that she’s lost a baby, or rather the baby was stolen from her. After Da-On visits Han Manu and sees how unfair life has been to him and his family, everything becomes clear to her, who did not murder, and who did. She's with Han Manu's family until the very end of Han Manu's life because, maybe she's a bit guilt-tripped about how unfair the justice system is and all? We know from the multiple POVs that living after Hae-On's death has been hell for Da-On because it took a great toll on their mother, to the extent where she refuses to accept the death and Da-On ends up going through plastic surgery just to look like her sister. But that isn’t enough either and so Da-On commits an unspeakable crime and steals Yun Taerim and Shin Jeongjun’s baby, in part revenge, part appeasing kinda for her mother and names her Hye-eun, the name her mother had originally intended for Hae-On.||

||“In a voice brimming with happiness, I’d heard her ask, “How’s Hye-eun, Mother?” It had sounded as if she’d said, “How’s Hae-on?”Hye-eun and Hae-on. The names sounded nearly identical. “Oh, really?” Da-on said, with a loud laugh. I backed away. Though I’d had no intention of eavesdropping, I somehow felt I needed to hide the fact that I’d heard. A vague but certain fear crept over me.”||
||The baby here although she never clarifies is Yun Taerim's and she's taken her in as her own and that's why she's pretty joyous in her speech here||

And now I come to the final part of my thesis
||Sanghui's POV, why was it necessary?
We see the anguish in Da-On's, we see the toll of having done something awful in the past + having your baby stolen in Yun Taerim's POV, but Sanghui is just another spectator, but an important one||

oops, hit enter too soon and deleted everything

||Through her we see the changes within Da-On. She's smart and Sanghui has found her to be super interesting before the whole incident and I think it really affected her negatively. She's a lemon, someone who really tried her best to move on, to live yet the sourness within and the pressures on the outside were a bit too much for her. When Sanghui meets her when she's in (University?) she's this fake version of her sister and she doesn't seem to be doing too well, extra thin and all that and then the last instance we see her, she's a lot happier, doesn't concern herself with much and kinda makes it clear that they won't meet again and I think that's when she's just grown out of everything and is living her life with as much normalcy as possible and yeah, I think that's it... I can't remember any other stuff rn but will add on if I do||

Thank you for reading

[warm vessel]

Omg HANZY YESSSS

I do agree with so much of what you have said || and ty for clearing up the part about the baby cause honestly I was a bit confused there || This is an amazing analysis I feel like I just wasn't in the right headspace to read this one when I did and was definitely a bit impatient with it, If I ever read it again I think I'll be able to appreciate it way more and enjoy searching for these things. The way you wrote everything was just

[left roost]

I'm so psyched to read this, I'm going to try and finish Therapeutic Tales over the next few days on bedrest and hopefully start this next.

[stable tundra]

I haven't read in about a week and a half and have like 4 books I have to finish, but I'm gonna throw myself into this one.

[stable tundra]

Shorts, 2002 ||I was a little confused with what was going on at first, to be honest. Now I know that the girl who was abducted/murdered is the sister of the narrator. What's odd to me was at the end of the chapter the narrator said she got plastic surgery to look like her sister who died at 18. I think this theme of jealousy, for lack of better word, will persist throughout this book. I could be wrong though. It's just weird to me if this detail was mentioned without any significance.||

[short oxide]

Started this last night and so far I just finished the God, 2015. ||I can see why this is said to portray the people left behind. It's interesting to read about Da-on's change because of her sister, mother, and herself. Sad that she felt the need to "be her sister". I also like the story about Seonu and how she really trusted her brother. I wonder why Manu sounds so stupidly in love with Taerim tho, I get that she's popular but one ride made him protect her like that???||

The chapter God, 2015 ||confuses me. Is it still Da-on's perspective or not? It felt like Da-on with her poetry and child, but the way the chapter is written... ||

[stable tundra]

Poem, 2006 ||I'm still a little confused as to what's going on. From my understanding, Da-on might be dealing with the grief of Hae-on's death by becoming her, or trying to. But I don't really know.||

[left roost]

~ Lemon, 2010
||The atmosphere in this book is THICK. I'm already so invested in this book. Da-on getting cosmetic surgery to look like her sister... it makes my stomach ache.||

[frozen zodiac]

uhh missed spoiler brackets?

[left roost]

THANK YOU.

[frozen zodiac]

No worries, I was mostly like "uuuuuuuuuuuuh"

i already read the book though so no worries

[left roost]

I hope no one got spoiled, there wasn't a lot of spoilers thankfully but I must've forgot to hit the spoiler button.
Don't update when sleepy folks

[frozen zodiac]

Go sleep Vaude haha (affectionate bonk)

[left roost]

Okay I actually finished this in one sitting!
||I actually really enjoyed this. I think for the length, it did justice of telling a very grim and almost ethereal story. It's not exactly a murder mystery - there's strong a strong indication to who killed Hae-On but it's never brought to light exactly so justice isn't exactly dealt out. I suppose Da-On meted out her own kind of justice in taking the baby to give to her mother. All in all it had this melancholy energy that I really enjoyed. I like that much of the details are more suggested than outright said! Da-On is an intriguing character as she seems to stumble through grief and spite to try to come to terms not only with her sister, her death and everything related to it but also herself.||

||The perspective shifts were interesting! It completely threw me at first then it became part of the puzzle to sort through who was speaking. It really added to the lore around Hae-On's death and all the players revolved around her life. We only ever see her through what other people say about her or how they imagined her. ||

Solid 4 ⭐ from me.

[short oxide]

FINISHEDD! I didn’t understand almost everything and was confused all the time but ||I like the depiction of grieving process. I like the story of Da-on’s forgiveness towards Manu, acknowledging she suspected wrong. I also love the “denial-bargaining” process as the family changed Hae-on’s name, she acted as Hae-on, changed her appearance for a while, then accepted how she couldn’t be her sister.

It started off really strong that I thought this was gonna be a murder mystery. I even made notes just to keep track of everybody’s whereabouts on the day. I’m still confused about the POVs, did we get Da-on, Sanghui, and Taerim’s POV? Or just Da-on and Sanghui? Anyway, I think it’s too short to explain about everything. I guess that’s just how life is sometimes, the world moves on even though you’re still there processing everything ||

[short oxide]

OOOHH ||so Da-on’s the one who took Taerim’s baby? I thought that’s Da-on’s baby Now it makes sense ||

[bronze fable]

||How.....how didnt i think of that while reading i think i was to confused about everything to make the dots connect||

[open haven]

https://tenor.com/view/charlie-day-gif-18564553

I was doing this through the read

I think of all POVs I strangely liked ||Yun Taerim's the best because of how revealing it seemed to be||

[nova jackal]

@frozen zodiac @keen jetty @left roost @warm vessel @austere delta @short oxide @stable tundra @open haven @wispy bough @cobalt axle @bronze fable @clever basin

Quick reminder that the BR ends next week on Sunday, 23rd July, so for those that haven't started, be sure to do so and discuss the book until then.

Finished: ravenclaw_bookworm, Sinaa, manouk, Amanda, Laelia, Hanzy, Vaude, Scarlettsens

Questions for those that have finished:

1. Did you like the way the book is written? Why or why not?
2. ||The book does not reveal what happened straightforwardly but rather forces you to connect the dots through hints and implications. How was reading a book like this for you? Was it difficult to follow?||
3. What are your thoughts on how the book ends? ||In the first chapter, Da-on wanted to get revenge or at the very least figure out what exactly happened to her sister but in the end, she can't do much until the people responsible speak up about and chooses not to do anything about it. What are your thoughts on her leaving it be? ||

[left roost]

1. Yes actually! It took me a little to get used to what was being done with perspective but afterwards I thought that it added to the general vibe of the book. ||Doubly so when it switched to the telephone conversation/interview style mid-way through for a few chapters.||
   2.|| I loved reading a book like this - I'm not against things being spelt out but I really enjoy not quite knowing what exactly happened but only things being alluded to. ||
2. ||If what's implied is true, Da-On has her own revenge anyway in taking th child of the people she believes to be responsible. It's almost like a karmic rebalance- they killed her sister so she's using their child to give her mother another version of her sister. ||

[keen jetty]

Oh i should probably start this soon y'alls comments kinda scared me off :D

[stable tundra]

Lemon, 2010 ||"Why was I so ugly? If only I could have been my sister..." maybe I was wrong about my guess that jealously would become a theme. Because rather than jealousy, this seems like sadness. Da-on just seems depressed about the fact her sister was the star of the family. Towards the end of the chapter though, I wonder why she feels like objects are staring at her.||

[stable tundra]

Rope, 2010 ||Whose POV is this??? I'm so confused. Are they talking to God?||

[stable tundra]

Knees, 2010 ||All I can say is this chapter made the most sense so far.||

God, 2015 ||Ugh I'm confused again...||

[stable tundra]

Finished!

1. Yes and no. It was complicated most of the time, but strangely beautiful.
2. ||It was difficult to follow most of the time, to be honest. I'm still left with some questions and I'm having trouble connecting some dots.||
3. ||I honestly am content with how it ended. I wasn't emotionally invested in any of the characters so I'm indifferent to their actions.||

[wispy bough]

1. the way the chapters are spread so far apart makes it feel like there is no connection throughout.
2. ||it was quite difficult to follow. i like my mystery books with the detective revealing everything at the end||
   3.|| i think thats good for her. its better to move on rather than stay on something that happened in the past||

[frozen zodiac]

1. I like the writing style a lot, I was immediately hooked from the start. Between chapters it was a bit of whiplash but once I knew what was going on I loved it again.
2. ||I mean, I like books that leave some parts of the mystery up to the reader to interpret, I especially don't like it when things are spelled out for the reader multiple times. But I think it was a little too vague for my liking because I still can't wrap my head around the ending of the book. And a book meant to confuse you as it's main goal is something else, but I feel like this wasn't meant as a book to be confusing, more it was about grief, coping, trauma and it then left it vague after the fact. I'm still not sure why certain details were given like for instance how Da-on switched her whole lifestyle around twice, but then why is that other girl talking to a doctor that does not involve Da-on at all? It doesn't make sense to me and I would've loved just a little bit more details from the author to make it more satisfying to read. ||
3. ||I mean, I feel the ending was kinda nice, but the why's and how's left unsaid made it not as satisfying to me. Like did she transform because Manu died? Was she involved in getting Taerim to a doctor? I want to know how involved she was in that, because now it just feels like she found a different way to cope (which is also beautiful, don't get me wrong) but we are left questioning why and when it sparked and it just doesn't make sense to me.||

[warm vessel]

1. I did up until a certain point. || I was really intrigued at first, really liked the switching between povs until we got to the second or third to last?? I liked Taerim's and Da-on's especially. It was a fresh change of pace and I just like different povs in general ||
2. || I didn't mind this at all because it was heavily hinted at who was the culprit, etc. etc. I liked seeing the pov of characters like this; it adds a kind of murder mystery aspect to it. What I didn't like was the disconnected-ness of a lot of things, it felt like the pacing wasn't quite as solid as I would have hoped and things were just kind of thrown in here and there...I think I felt the most this way when it came to Da-on coming back and seeming like a whole new person...I get ofc this could happen because of her circumstances (she's finally learning to be more like her again or a new version of her, moving past those events) but I don't remember seeing many of the steps to get there and I really wanted to ||
3. || It was an unsatisfying ending. You could say she also had an unsatisfying ending considering all that happened (the culprits were never really brought to justice, the innocent died having suffered for being accused) so it was fitting... buuuut it made the book very un-memorable to me. A somewhat sour experience when all is read and done ( sorry I found that really funny and I had to add this comment to let you know ...) ||

[austere delta]

SHORTS, 2002
I'm utterly confused rn. I see that Hazy almost wrote a whole new book about this book, so I wanna read that I'm finished. ||This guy definitely has a sister-complex, lol. ||

[short oxide]

1. Yes! ||I think it helps with the vibes and mystery of the book, also to keep people engaged and trying to figure things out other than just first person POV only and shove everything into my head. I like books that make me think.||

2. ||It was very confusing especially due to different POVs and because we dont really know whose POV we're reading. I took notes about which characters were mentioned, what the chapters were trying to explain, etc but I'm still confused. It was fun tho!||

3. I like the ending!! ||I think it's the acceptance about how she could move on, how she could finally accept (and escape) what happened and still choose herself. She left her mother for awhile because she felt bad about Manu being wrongfully accused, she tried to make her own justice by taking Taerim's baby, then she made the decision to change back into herself- she also tried to live her own life by leaving her past tragedy behind||

[open haven]

1. Yes! Tbh I think I started appreciating it more as the story was nearing its close, it just really made sense the way it was done
2. ||Okay I think this was the most fun part for me. It’s been a long while since a book made me focus this way? Like I was fully and completely engrossed while reading it, everything felt like it was done for a reason and I had fun connecting all the dots. Strangely my annotations from earlier into the book were actually puzzle pieces and like I didn’t have to reread a part to find a piece although yes, the big picture was still quite hazy until we got to the last chapter and then all my suspicions got cleared. I also liked how because most of everything is alluded to, we’re all free to build our narratives around what happened.||
3. ||I think the revenge bit gets quite clear in the end, she got her revenge in her own unique way and while yes, she does understand what she’s done was unethical and wrongful, it’s like killing two birds with a stone for her — a life for a life, a daughter for a daughter, a Hye-On for a Hae-On. It felt like she was finally healing, finally living after all the shit she’d had to go through at so young an age.||

[cobalt axle]

1. I did! I think it was a translation but whoever translated it did a fabulous job because it felt so natural
2. I ||actually didn’t understand at first that Da-on had stolen the child, and honestly I had been left lost and confused. I read some Goodreads reviews and once that was revealed for me it clicked so much better! I actually loved this element at that point, but I understand how it is risky as without that helpful hint I would’ve been left unsatisfied. ||
3. ||It’s a creepy kind of satisfaction, and one I have to believe is somewhat fragile, when it is built on such a horrendous crime. It is poetic justice, but not that which translates easily to a courtroom. I cant exactly root for Da-on, all things considered, but as far as a book ending goes I think it was genius||

[nova jackal]

Quick update since the BR ends on Sunday:

Finished: ravenclaw_bookworm, Sinaa, manouk, Amanda, Laelia, Hanzy, Vaude, Scarlettsens, echo
Currently Reading: Coffee

Don't be scared, you can always dnf it if you don't like it lol: @keen jetty

[keen jetty]

oh i completely forgot about it, i'll try to start it soon!

[austere delta]

my procrastination skills never fail to amaze even myself

[keen jetty]

shorts, 2002 ||poor boy, this is making me anxious by just reading about it ||

poem, 2006 ||i hate it when books shift povs without telling you!! it took me like half the chapter to realise that the "i" here isn't the same as the one before ||

like, why make it so complicated for me

[keen jetty]

lemon, 2010|| what is happening so basically just a very tragic life? also how has half of the book already passed, i feel like i'm barely introduced to stuff as it is and now we're already in the second half?||

rope, 2010 ||uhm ||

what is going on

knees, 2010|| i'm sorry but why no underwear i get the sitting thing, i also have a similar habit but like..,not in a dress and definitely not without underwear ||

sarcoma, 2017 ||okay, now this confused me...mainly because i forgot who the second pov was sooo yeah my brain is really not braining today||

finished! that was a lot quicker than i expected :D

||and i have no idea how to rate this because it just felt so...incomplete? i feel like i barely started the book when it was already ending again (and not even page-wise, just content-wise). and i do kinda get what the book was trying to do and what it wasn't but also, i expected to have it all make a little more sense in the end? like, what was the point of all the different little details and everything...and also, is what that person (do we know who that was??) told the doctor the truth? that she did it herself? i am confused :D||

i don't feel like it was bad or i didn't enjoy it, but it all felt a little incomplete to me

[keen jetty]

1. yes and no...the general narration style, yes, but the way the different povs were handled, no (too confusing - i know that that was probably the point that it wasn't that clear but i didn't like that)
2. ||it wasn't necessarily difficult to follow but only because i am used to not understanding stuff like this, and i'm not even trying to when i see that it's too difficult for me i usually just accept that i can't connect the dots and move on :D||
3. ||hmmm i feel like to answer that, i would have to understand what actually happened... ||

[keen jetty]

WHAT
i feel like i did not understand this book at all

[nova jackal]

LOL ||didn't you catch that either Da-on has never mentioned a husband or being pregnant||

[keen jetty]

||no i was confused by the baby thing, to the point where i wasn't sure that baby even really existed but i didn't realise that that was where it came from ||

[nova jackal]

ohh yeah ||Yun Taerim's POV was the most confusing one out of them all i feel like, makes me think that the whole thing has affected her mental health a lot||

[keen jetty]

||yess i really had a hard time understanding what she was saying at all!! but yeah i think it was well done in the way that it really depicted her state of mind||

[austere delta]

Samee!! ||I didn't realize it was changing povs and I was super confused until about one third of my way through the 3rd chapter||

LEMON, 2010
||Finally a lot of things make since since I figured out that the book was switching povs. I don't like this sorta thing at all, they cound at least tell who's narrating when. I kinda feel bad for Da-on, she's having to suffer way more than she should have to just because of her mother. I also peel eggshells like that btw.||

ROPE, 2010
||Just started reading this chapter, but I just wanted to say that I would've never believed in that "it's confidential" shit if it was me. Like, what guarantee do I have that it's actually confidential and that they'll delete it after a time period?||

[austere delta]

||Who... was that...?||

[austere delta]

KNEES, 2010
||I feel bad for girls. They can't even sit comfortably how they want. I mean, they could wear jeans or something like that and then the problem wouldn't be there, but my point is that they can't even relax while resting. I hate the strictness of military people. I wish they'd just drop dead. Because of them being meatheads he couldn't get his legs checked and had to amputate.||

[austere delta]

GOD, 2015
||The fuck is wrong with this woman? She sure loves playing the victim role a lot. She's getting on my nerves||

[austere delta]

I promise I'll finish it by the end of today

[frozen zodiac]

you can do it!

[austere delta]

Finished reading it just now

Final Thoughts
||Seems like it wasn't told who the murderer was by the end. I think it might be Yun Taerim. I felt bad for Han Manu, Unfortunate things seemed to keep finding their way to him. I agree a little bit with what Da-on said in the penultimate chapter about God, too. I didn't like how the author kept changing perspective/narrator for each chapter but didn't tell who it was. I didn't figure out that they were even changing povs until the third chapter. And I only figured out that the one who was taking therapy sessions with a doctor was Yun Taerim when reading the penultimate chapter. (Taerim's obnoxious therapy session talk annoyed the fuck outta me.)
Overall, it didn't dislike the book, but neither did I like it that much. So it gets a 3.25/5 from me.||

And sorry for taking so long to read it

[frozen zodiac]

||I was indeed thinking Yun Taerim did it because otherwise the therapy appointments don't really make sense to me. Either that or she feels such extreme guilt about the situation.||

[austere delta]

1. I didn't like how it was written. It felt like the way it's written serves no purpose other than confusing me as a reader
2. ||I didn't even try to solve the mystery, I just have a feeling that Taerim might be the murderer, that's all.||
3. ||I don't mind the ending. A mystery doesn't always get solved, and I'm fine with that. It was interesting how Da-on's personality shifted as the story progressed, and that's what I cared about more.||