Shivposts - A thread for joke requests and horrible feature ideas

[icy dew]

Make the modded themes in the game work in the same way as the custom themes on Discord

[ocean talon]

^ sounds like an actually good suggestion.

[hoary maple]

add pleasure plates

[wicked oar]

.

Make them also moan when you step on them

(I need help pls)

[icy dew]

I was about to say that
#1280611745861472266 message

[icy dew]

https://tenor.com/view/hold-on-wait-a-minute-somethings-aint-right-hold-up-somethings-wrong-here-gif-17361118

We passed the 6000th post

Ok so today's shivpost:

Make the game go back to 0.0

And consider it as 1.0

[wicked oar]

Update Quest Master to version π.π

[icy dew]

So true

[tacit temple]

add a day/night cycle to castle town and npc schedules like stardew valley

Lucky's is now only open from 9 to 5

[icy dew]

Don't forget to also spawn enemies like zombies and Twitch Bones with arrows during the nighttime. And have a chance to spawn a boss during nighttime.

[subtle zodiac]

Add teeth decay if you don't brush your teeth fast enough after eating food

[amber jungle]

Yes but there's no way to brush your teeth in game, you just suffer

[pale jungle]

give lanze a tragic backstory like any good oc has

[icy dew]

Lanze's backstory:
He got fired from being a hero of the Aetheria Castle by Shiv, and instead turned into a dungeon builder

[pale jungle]

not tragic enough make him SUFFER

[icy dew]

He had a whole family kidnapped by Zorbius, Lanze couldn't get fast enough to save their whole family, and instead needed to watch their whole family burn into the lava. Zorbius left after with a dust of cloud.
Is this enough?

[pale jungle]

https://tenor.com/view/star-wars-more-gif-21856591

[amber jungle]

His best friend was killed by Lunarc and he couldn't do anything about it having to watch helpless because lunarc wasn't killable yet

[pale jungle]

Have him build a nuke without knowing it and have it go off destroying atheria

[ocean talon]

Update the game

[subtle zodiac]

Then as punishment he had to spend years rebuilding atheria which took a toll on his health so he had to spend his life savings on the hospital bill

[amber jungle]

He had to get a job as a dungeon maker just to stay alive, having to suffer from the spikadillos and glomecs in his own dungeons

[latent ibex]

add a heavy stone object that only exists in the campaign that players can't use

[grim sorrel]

add npc relationships

[subtle zodiac]

Not again

[bronze snow]

You mean relationships among NPCs, or relationships between NPCs and the player?

[amber jungle]

Like a farm sim friendship meter where as long as you keep giving them stuff the meter goes up

[grim sorrel]

between npcs and the player but among npcs wouldn't be a bad idea 😂

[hoary maple]

let me seduce master vu

[grim sorrel]

friendzone simulator (u love some npc but he/she is with another npc)

[hoary maple]

gotta get that dih

[pale jungle]

julian knew what he was doing

[rustic moon]

Make the number signs out of numerical order in the menu just to screw with people.

[hoary maple]

add an extra 7

[subtle zodiac]

Add an upside down 4 for literally no reason

[pale jungle]

give gobbo the goblin a wife

[amber jungle]

then make him go through a messy divorce

[subtle zodiac]

Who?

[pale jungle]

gobbo

[pale jungle]

no he gets no truama

he has a happy family

[subtle zodiac]

?

[pale jungle]

one second

[pale jungle]

#💬│general-chat message

[subtle zodiac]

Ah, I see.

gob

[pale jungle]

his last name is bo

gob.bo and ms lin.bo

[icy dew]

Reject the achievements then post a news saying that the achievements aren't going to be in 1.0, just to make a very specific user go in rage, then ban him after he got enough rage

[hoary maple]

shiv tag

[wicked oar]

Shiv

[open mulch]

Shi

[hoary maple]

Sh

[subtle zodiac]

S

[hoary maple]

_ _

[tacit temple]

add a secret ending to the campaign where if you already have every reward from Lucky, he shows up out of nowhere and says "wow darling! you really **mastered **this quest!"

[pale jungle]

GET OU-

[bronze snow]

[winged terrace]

Can’t stop the feeling starts playing

Lanze starts of reluctantly tapping his feet before he says, “aw what do I gotta lose” and starts dancing with everyone

[wicked oar]

Make all the playable characters in the game have a slight disadvantage gameplay wise other than Shiv because Shiv

[ocean talon]

Replace the v in shiv to a t.
Replace the i in shiv to an o.
Make him a gunslinger.

[amber jungle]

Every time I enter the game, Boo is there, with nothing

[icy dew]

Add a bonus round for Boo after collecting everything from her where the reward will be a mysterious box that has a bomb in it ready to one-shot you in the Castle Town.

[amber jungle]

Make the bonus round impossible to complete so that every time boo comes by you can watch yourself lose

[icy dew]

Omg yes please

I'm addicted to win in Boo's minigame

[untold pier]

Saturday is the new eternal meme isn't it

[open mulch]

It is until Saturday.

[wicked oar]

Make everyday Saturday, so Quest Master gets an update every day

[pale jungle]

add a battle pass system with fomo in mind for it

[grim sorrel]

Final Quest: save Julian from Apogee's dungeon

[subtle zodiac]

Add unlockable starting equipment that can't be disabled

[wicked oar]

Make all puzzles skippable and give no option to disable that feature

[amber jungle]

Add professor layton hint coins

[subtle zodiac]

Add an NPC that gives really obnoxious hints the moment you enter a room with a puzzle, even if said puzzle is literally just a button.

"Hmmm... Maybe we can push those ice blocks over there."

[amber jungle]

The hints cost playcoins

[bronze snow]

https://tenor.com/view/hello-gordon-dr-coomer-half-life-half-life-vr-gameplay-gif-17252480

[tacit temple]

Add an "expert" difficulty to the dojo where at any given frame there's a random chance for a random type of log to spawn at a random position. The challenge lasts 5 minutes. There's no reward.

[hoary maple]

lucky logs only but you're stuck in a permanent hurricane spin

[icy dew]

Add the Ultimate diffivulty where you need to cut 50 wooden logs but the only things that spawn are metal and lucky logs

[wicked oar]

Make it so that metal and lucky logs never despawn in any mode where they can appear

[subtle zodiac]

Make regular logs bounce you away the same way to metal one do

[grim sorrel]

Dungeon's map tattoo in your friend (when playing in multiplayer), u cant colect it but need your friend's to see (like in Prison Break)

[pale jungle]

Unreject Shivposts

[winged terrace]

Make bushes unbreakable

[rustic moon]

Remove all scroll wheels from the game

[winged terrace]

replace them with manual cranks you have to use

[winged terrace]

Make it so you have to manually reset your dungeon each time someone plays through it (re-locking doors, replacing defeated enemies, re-stocking chests, etc…)

[icy dew]

Make it so if someone clears your dungeon, it gets unpublished so you need to republish it again

[open mulch]

Make it so if the daily dungeon can’t pick anything it breaks the entire game.

[wicked oar]

Make it so that the daily dungeon board only pick levels with a clear rate of less than 10%

[open mulch]

nothing changes

[rustic moon]

Add a random chance that an enemy in your Dungeon will be replaced with a Lunarc when playtesting.

[wicked oar]

Remove playtesting from the game

[hoary maple]

nothing changes

[pale jungle]

imagine its the final boss when your trying to publish the dungeon

[tacit temple]

make castle town a global hub where you can see other players like in an mmo

[rustic moon]

And you can pick them up and throw them into the ocean

[wicked oar]

Add a castle town to the game

[tacit temple]

add a nightly board that is just the daily dungeon but you're forced to play it with the hero ring and nothing else

[icy dew]

And make it only pick 0% clear rate dungeons

[tacit temple]

add the entirety of Skyrim's loading screen tips to the game

[untold pier]

noooooooo 😭

[untold pier]

FUS ROH

[hoary maple]

we finally have a use for all the Julian quotes, wheres the collection

[icy dew]

Make Shiv have every shivposts from this thread in their closet

[wicked oar]

Add a surgeon simulator minigame where you can perform surgery to other players/town npcs, if you fail they're gone forever

(Me purposefully failing a surgery on )

[hoary maple]

lucky just reappears the next day like nothing happened

[rustic moon]

In a stroke of luck, he survives. Who would have predicted that

[open mulch]

He survived an assassination attempt? That’s so lucky.

[subtle zodiac]

Reduce the max text on signs

[wicked oar]

Add a limit to the number of objects you can place in a dungeon

[subtle zodiac]

Remove stairs, jumping between elevations, and make teleporters break if placed between two elevations

[ocean talon]

True shivpost idea, the smoothest of brains if you will.

[hoary maple]

"looks like youve reached your building limit. why not buy the quest architect pass for 200 extra objects at $4.99 a month!"

[wicked oar]

JACK UP THAT PRICE!!!!!

[hoary maple]

for $8.99 you get 500 extra

[rustic hare]

Cookie Clicker Garden-style descriptions for every type of flower

[tall perch]

Hm... Actually...

[hoary maple]

rename to quest clicker, it's now a clicker game

[tall perch]

Hmmmmmmm

[wicked oar]

Remove invincibility frames from the game

[winged terrace]

Change the size of the sprites to an unconventional number like 27x27

[hoary maple]

5120x2880 sprites

[tall perch]

Ah yes, 471.3 x 17291.6

[quiet heron]

Make every object including player characters a sphere.
Add physics.
When pressing directional buttons, it tilts the dungeon instead of moving the player characters.
Return to monkey.

[frosty crypt]

add a chance for enemies to random crit and deal 3x damage for no reason

[tall perch]

You technically can give a shadow the ring that does zero or instakill damage, so this shivpost is alr implemented

[hoary maple]

Bubsy Collab

what could possibly go wrong

[wicked oar]

Make it so that you can only play quest master during December 26th

[tall perch]

Ah yes only Feb 29

[wicked oar]

Delay the next update by 1 week for every time someone says anything that has the letter e in it.

[amber jungle]

Do you have any idea how many e's that is!

[wicked oar]

√25 * √9

[tacit temple]

Delay the update until Silksong releases

[subtle zodiac]

Remove roll attacks

[wicked oar]

Let shadows keep them tho

[hoary maple]

add blur filter

[vague dew]

Add a Viven-Bessières cup to the game. It doesn't do anything since you don't have a rifle to put it on

[bronze snow]

me, glancing through feature-requests: Huh? A thread that got rejected? What's -- oh. It's Shivposts.

[hoary maple]

we were accepted once.

even pinned.

[rustic moon]

Good times

[tacit temple]

every time people ask for a new update, roll back to a previous patch instead

if the demo version is reached the game gets straight up deleted

[tall perch]

Then everytime ppl ask for a previous version, update the game 💀

[pale jungle]

Can we get a new update x1 trillion times

[wicked oar]

Can we down patch an update x1 trillion times

[pale jungle]

make the campaign the entirety of minish cap but even more confusing

[subtle zodiac]

Make it so you can only have one dungeon at a time

[wicked oar]

Limit the number of dungeons the player can play in a single month

(this includes their own dungeons)

[tall perch]

Add MH menu navigation

[hoary maple]

...for dialogue options

[amber jungle]

Add dialogue options, but they always lead to the same response

[wicked oar]

Give the player the illusion of choice in all dialogues in story mode

Fool them into thinking that the game has multiple endings

[tall perch]

Actually

Fool all the playerbase

make this into a VN

Fate/Quest Master

[subtle zodiac]

Remove the ability to play dungeons from the editor

[wicked oar]

Remove the ability to play the game until version 1.0 gets released

[amber jungle]

Allow dungeon makers to lock their dungeons behind a paywall

but the money doesn't even go to the dungeon maker

[subtle zodiac]

It goes to lucky

[stray bridge]

and lucky gambles all of it each time and always loses

[wicked oar]

Let players edit other players' save files without their permission when 1.0 comes out

[amber jungle]

Add great fairies, but instead they're great Luckys

[loud stump]

razer™ kraken™ kitty™ headset (no ™)

[subtle zodiac]

It's been a week since last post

Ban everyone

[subtle zodiac]

https://tenor.com/view/spongebob-spongebob-patrick-patrick-star-patrick-star-where-did-everybody-go-where-did-everybody-go-gif-26605152

[loud stump]

add the opposite of lunarc, revives everything

[pale jungle]

Shiv post will revive during 1.0 the second coming of shivposts

[subtle zodiac]

Shivposts needs a gold variant

[wicked oar]

1.0 is getting delayed cuz the devs are secretly adding everything suggested in shivposts to the game

[amber jungle]

When 1.0 comes out, change shivposts from "rejected" to "Accepted" to confuse the new fans when they arrive.

[vague dew]

Replace Lucky's Locks with Unlucky's Locks. All but one chest has a prize. When you open the empty chest, all your dungeons are deleted from mod.io and any campaign progress is wiped.

[pale jungle]

Add eggman

No context

Just eggman

[pale jungle]

thats manegg

[pale jungle]

I fucking love this

[subtle zodiac]

Add Scooby snacks as a heart variant

[wicked oar]

FAKE HEARTS

They look exactly like a regular heart but they damage players by a full heart when picked up and don't give them iframes.

[ocean talon]

Modded Hearts exist already

[vague dew]

Replace the entire maker mode with a large language model. Why create when you can just have the machine pretend to do it for you? Why think when you can just have the machine pretend to do it for you?

[amber jungle]

Add wallets, By default the player can only carry 10 coins unless they pickup upgrades within the dungeon. If the player picks up a coin while at the max they can carry the coin disappears and can never be collected

[winged terrace]

add pipis

[pale jungle]

pipis

UNREJECT SHIVPOSTS

[wicked oar]

Piss

[pale jungle]

shit

[hoary maple]

shiv

[open mulch]

Phiv

[pale jungle]

Man it's sure been a while since I ordered my food I wonder how the cooks are doing

-# someone please know what I'm referencing

[subtle zodiac]

What

Out of context that sure is something you have chosen to say

[open mulch]

Idk man I think he might just be hungry.

[pale jungle]

i was trying to start one of those things where people roleplay in comment sections that all hell is breaking loose in the kitchen im trying to find one now

here

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/f3FKrmPBIXk

[pale jungle]

am i the only one whos seen the kitchen comment videos lmao

[open mulch]

Yes

[pale jungle]

damn :(

[hoary maple]

stuff like that is usually done in friend discords with some co-ordination

doesnt really work with randoms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-ZqSlrCVcE

[pale jungle]

well that video i linked is a comment section

it is random people

[hoary maple]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDh6a5WfRO8

[subtle zodiac]

Who the shiv put a stick of dynamite in the microw-
💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

[pale jungle]

THE MICROWAVE!

[wicked oar]

Now that we have rats in the game, add the black death plague

[loud stump]

office complex theme when

[amber jungle]

Junkyard theme when

[pale jungle]

grandamas house theme when

[wicked oar]

I actually want and need this

[shrewd crystal]

Giant tax reform enemy

[bronze snow]

"Office complex, Misssster Freeman? I find it ... quite simple ..."

[shrewd crystal]

Office compound theme

Office Compound-complex

[pale jungle]

Prison complex theme

[amber jungle]

A prison would make sense for a stealth section. cause every zelda game needs a stealth part

[shrewd crystal]

Gerudo Desert theme

specifically Gerudo

[pale jungle]

reduce defense again

[tacit temple]

reduce sword damage by half

[loud stump]

safe ring should make you invincible in exchange for you not being able to deal damage via any method

even indirectly

enemies are invincible too now with it

[subtle zodiac]

Game too forgiving. Make starting hp 1 heart.

[hoary maple]

give enemies the defence buff, they clearly needed it more

[wicked oar]

Double the damage every enemy can deal

Make it so that the lowest amount of damage the player can take is a full heart instead of ⅛ of a heart

[loud stump]

that seems a bit much. maybe we should divide the heart into eight chunks, that might help

we could also just octuple the starting and maximum health the player can have (start with 32 hearts, up to 80)

[wicked oar]

Force 1 hit ko tag on all dungeons and make this change not versioned at all

[urban sundial]

Game is too forgiving insert rosaries to use the checkpoint

(Found this image online)

[wicked oar]

Me pressing alt f4 to close the game so that I don't need to use my rosaries

[shrewd crystal]

so double it?

[vague dew]

Oh okay then.
Add mr resetii

[wicked oar]

Me deleting him from the files

[subtle zodiac]

Add cameras inside each player's house that make sure they don't delete Mr Resetii, and if they do we bomb their house.

[wicked oar]

Homeless people:

[subtle zodiac]

Bomb their family ig

[vague dew]

Have everything in the game measured like this

[loud stump]

Reduce player defense by 1

[wicked oar]

Make story mode lock you from getting into the final dungeon if you don't play through the entire game without Hero ring and Fool's ring

[pale jungle]

Delete the campaign

[wicked oar]

Cancel Quest master full release

[pale jungle]

Cancel Julian on twitter

[wicked oar]

[amber jungle]

Make sure there's no post game or reward for beating the campaign. Make the player save after beating it but when they reload the save they're in front of the final dungeon like they never played it.

[hoary maple]

reduce ALL defence by 1 globally. everything now dies in one hit

[open mulch]

Lunarc in shambles

[hoary maple]

Lunarc kills in 0 hits. you die by spawning it

[winged terrace]

Cranul comes in and full heals everything

[pale jungle]

add horror mods

[subtle zodiac]

Lock the final boss behind collecting every ring and pet

[wicked oar]

And every sword cjoins too!

[hexed wren]

endless dungeon mode. you have a limited amount of lives (like,3) and have to beat as many dungeons as you can before you game over

[hoary maple]

thats actually a planned feature lol

[wicked oar]

Aight then, if that feature is actually implemented, make it so that the dungeons that are picked by the game are sorted by "lowest clear rate"

[open mulch]

Oh dang since when? Sounds cool but I haven’t heard of it being mentioned.

[ocean talon]

Infinity dungeon (a dungeon that has procedural generation and it extends itself every time you open a door. Progressively getting more difficult the further you get.

There is no winning, just a high score for how many rooms you visited.

[open mulch]

I’m pretty sure Justin moved on from that project.

[vague dew]

he's been working on it the whole time and secretly feeding the rooms of every dungeon we make into the procgen pool

[shrewd crystal]

Add Netherite and Blasted Ingots

[ocean talon]

Do a Terraria colab

[glad ingot]

bro, that is a real suggestion

[ocean talon]

They do a colab with everyone ^

[glad ingot]

wait don't do a terraria colab, but a calamity colab

[pale jungle]

No one here knows what blasted ingots are

[shrewd crystal]

Exactly why we should add them

[amber jungle]

Add phantoms, but not the tiles to hide from them

[subtle zodiac]

Add phantoms from Minecraft but don't add beds from Minecraft

[wicked oar]

Add phantom from hollow knight SILKSONG

[hoary maple]

add phantump

[vague dew]

And the collabs are routinely the worst content in the game but alas

[tacit temple]

Make lucky keys only obtainable as rewards from Boo

[loud stump]

Decrease Boo appearances to an unreasonable degree and add a way to pay to increase the chances she appears

[tacit temple]

Afterwards add the fishing minigame requiring bait to play, which you can only get as a reward from Lucky

[subtle zodiac]

Never add the bow.

[amber jungle]

We all know we’re going to be able to make a magic rod that shoots arrows, make it replace the bow completely

[loud stump]

us parking lot theme

[pale jungle]

Walmart theme

[vague dew]

Replace sandswept with the bass pro fishing pyramid

[grim sorrel]

Replace rods with bow and never give it back

[hexed wren]

add more softlocks

and more ways to add rng to your levels

[wicked oar]

Lucky block: can be broken
When broken: 25% chance to spawn an item that the maker chose, 50% chance to drop nothing, 25% chance instakill player

Lucky boss: 60 HP
Traps player in a cage of lucky blocks every 9 seconds
When <40 HP: Gains a new move where he can rain down lucky blocks above the player that instantly breaks on contact with the floor

[hoary maple]

new feature: when a player enters two room boundaries at the same time, they get sent to the backrooms

[subtle zodiac]

Remove doors

Remove rooms, all conditions are global and everything is loaded in at all times

[hoary maple]

remove dungeons

we get overworld maker and can only make overworlds now

[wicked oar]

Cancel overworld maker and remove all mods

[hexed wren]

take the game off of steam, you can only purchase it at haunted garage sales and each copy of the game is personalised

[pale jungle]

https://tenor.com/view/the-legend-of-zelda-ben-link-turning-around-creepy-gif-18509266

[wicked oar]

Delay 1.0 release by 1 day for each shivpost being rejected

[subtle zodiac]

Put spam bots in shivposts to delay as much as possible

[hexed wren]

giant rat that's 2x bigger than a normal rat

[untold pier]

needs day/night cycle in order to prey and stalk at night

[glad ingot]

rename bunny pet to lupus (terraria reference)

[hexed wren]

https://tenor.com/view/its-never-lupus-lupus-house-house-md-hugh-laurie-gif-11021011

[vague dew]

Server tag checks out

Make it so that if the player is hit with a burning arrow they must find seven different rings in the dungeon within a time limit or instantly die

[shrewd crystal]

Let's see what kind of trouble they can get themselves into

[subtle zodiac]

Add multiplayer building but make it have the most insufferable controls you've ever experienced

[untold pier]

each player controls their own tools but the other player's camera

[amber jungle]

The entire part book is divided randomly into 3 separate part books and each player gets 1

[tall perch]

They have to take turns to place a single part. So every time they place a part, the other is in control to place the next.

Ah yes. Quest Master Mystery Dungeon but in an unexpected way.

[glad ingot]

you have to go first when you only have teleporters and rails

[untold pier]

add Zelda speedrunning glitches to the game as unlockable techniques

[glad ingot]

Make the glitches donut themed

[hoary maple]

add arbitrary code execution

[hexed wren]

add remote code execution

[shrewd crystal]

add npc execution

[hexed wren]

add gloom hands to the overworld

[subtle zodiac]

Make it so the quest board is only available during certain hours of the day

[hoary maple]

implement entry limits on dungeons; you cant play a dungeon if someone else is doing it

[amber jungle]

Allow makers to set the entry limit to a maximum of 15

[untold pier]

multiplayer dungeons now require you to queue up online and match with other players. no more puppet controls.

[hoary maple]

thats not a shivpost =p gimme online multi

[flint fulcrum]

And add the blood moon effect whenever they're attacking.

[subtle zodiac]

Make it so you can only place floors and all the other stuff is automatically generated

[tacit temple]

shadow drop the campaign and announce it like this the following day

[glad ingot]

Who posted that?

Thomas is posting random stuff again!!!

[wicked oar]

Delay Quest Master's next update until Deltarune chapter 8 is publically released

[subtle zodiac]

Lock a vital dungeon part (preferably the bow) behind some extremely stupid requirement.
I originally thought a really hard boss fight only available at the true ending of story mode would be perfect.
But maybe getting a high score on a stupid mini game that requires near perfection and a hint of luck would work too.

Make doors a reward for 100% completion

And add an achievement that requires using doors in the editor

So doors are now impossible to use

[wicked oar]

How hard exactly?

[drowsy furnace]

nah, lock the sword.

[wicked oar]

Add an ackchievement where you must upload a dungeon and have that dungeon to be the single most liked dungeon in the entire game and lock the campaign behind that ackchievement

[hoary maple]

make a "three heart run" achivement, but make the last heart container mandatory to finish the game

or because the base hearts is four, make a three heart run achivement thats literally impossible cause 4 hearts

[loud stump]

undertale no mercy route

[subtle zodiac]

All fun and games until Shiv starts a fight

[wicked oar]

You mean deltarune SWORD route?

(literally just how I play every 2d zelda game)

[loud stump]

no.

[subtle zodiac]

I actually really don't like this term. It's not a different route. The only thing that changes is you get a cool item that makes 2 fights slightly different later on.

[pale jungle]

what else would you use

[drowsy furnace]

s room minigames..?

[pale jungle]

nah

[loud stump]

sword route is adequate because iirc that's how it's referred to in the code
(plus it does changes things outside of those two battles, ||a puzzle room before the tenna fight changes completely as you use the sword to destroy the door instead of stopping the key with susie, and tenna can be defeated in four turns by attacking as kris. it will also disable all other game terminals, not to mention that it is a pretty significant detour that extends the chapter dramatically and has permanent effects on the chapter if fully completed.||)

[drowsy furnace]

it only changes things in the chapter though

so i think "route" is an over-exaggeration

[loud stump]

it is a route invariably. it was built to be one. the object that controls sword route progress is called obj_gameshow_swordroute. it's a chapter-specific route, not a whole game route, but it is a route nonetheless.

[drowsy furnace]

fair

[loud stump]

okay, hold on

[wicked oar]

Hi Danielle

[untold pier]

the fact that it's referred to as a route in the code is pretty conclusive to me. you could say it's a sub-route but it is at the very least a route

hi

I will say it seems like a weird thing to debate over, especially for shivposts lol, but I haven't played the game

[wicked oar]

Sword route confirmed for Quest Master's main story mode

Sword route confirmed for Quest Master's main story mode

[drowsy furnace]

sword route confirmed for quest master's main story mode

🗣️

[subtle zodiac]

...I feel as if I shouldn't have said anything.

[untold pier]

bad ending 😢

sorry if I made you feel that way

[subtle zodiac]

It's fine I just feel bad when I start something even if it's really not a big deal

[untold pier]

same

Undertale and its anagram in particular seem to spur a lot of controversy over really minor things

...which is a little weird to me considering the first game is basically about trying to understand and make friends with people even when they're being hostile towards you.

[untold pier]

though as far as server arguments go that one was pretty mild, so I hope you don't take it too hard 🤭

[subtle zodiac]

Yeah it's fine

[pale jungle]

Theres also the fact

Deltarune isn't fully out yet

There could be more of the sword route or more things it changes

[loud stump]

nah it's fine
this wasn't deadly serious, i knew things would just go back and forth so i mainly made the poll to be a closure and also be a little funny since this was ultimately inconsequential

[wicked oar]

What I was thinking exactly

[vague dew]

Add more pedantic discourse to this channel /silly

[drowsy furnace]

truee

[flint fulcrum]

Rename the game into "Five Nights At Lucky's" and turn it into a mascot horror game where you have to watch a bunch of binoculars while Lucky and his gang are trying to get to you.

[untold pier]

oh god

someone is going to make that into a dungeon I swear

[hoary maple]

"when viewed through a binocular" condition requested

[open mulch]

Who tf is in the Lucky Gang lmao

[hoary maple]

lucky, lucki, lookie and shiv

[subtle zodiac]

I think it would actually be cool if we could play as mr. Toprat

[wicked oar]

Add a bleed effect to the game

[tacit temple]

and give it exclusively to Lunarc

[untold pier]

why is this in shivposts

[wicked oar]

Good question

[subtle zodiac]

Add lung cancer

[wicked oar]

Emberstone Quarry

[hoary maple]

rollback the rollback

[subtle zodiac]

The only movement method is rolling. Become ball simulator.

Got the idea from one of the most obscure games I've ever played. I swear finding someone else who's heard of this is like finding a penguin that can fly.

[untold pier]

actually I made a ring mod that did this one time lol

walk speed 0, roll attack speed 0, roll speed up some number I forget

[subtle zodiac]

Sounds fun

[untold pier]

it was alright haha

never found something fun to do with it, but there's probably something

[hoary maple]

if you try to open a locked door without a key, have a popup saying "There is no key provided"

[drowsy furnace]

TRUE

[hexed wren]

a cooking system where you can only use ziplock bags, vinegar, and various stones you find in dungeons

[wicked oar]

Make skeleton keys have a 50% chance to break and become unusable when the player uses them

[glad ingot]

that is a good suggestion

not a shivpost

[drowsy furnace]

no it fucking isn't bro 💀

[untold pier]

nah just add a lockpicking kit that does the same thing. let the player buy more of it and then it's interesting. which doors do you think are the most important to try first?

[hoary maple]

the keyring

it's just a ring of keys, and every time you try to open a lock, there's a 75% chance it just goes "wrong key, try again"

[swift shadow]

iron maiden: deals half a heart of damage and traps you. you can't pause the game (no resetting to a checkpoint/entrance) while inside and only an outside trigger will open it and let you out

alternate version that deals half a heart of damage every five minutes

[wicked oar]

Allow every enemy to move through walls and make this change not versioned

I'm sure no contraption will break with this change right?

[hoary maple]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gISBIaQ9duA

add whatever the hell this is

[hoary maple]

this is what we're gonna turn quest master into 0.05 seconds after Julian ends support for the game

[brazen ocean]

delay the bow for 5 years

[open mulch]

Accepted

[vague dew]

Denied. All the locks in the game were bought from MasterLock, therefore being able to pick them would trivialise the game because it's quicker to rake them open than it would be to open them legit.

[brazen ocean]

add a masterlock lock item with which you can unlock masterlock locks

[hexed wren]

add the ability to kick enemies until they stop moving

[brazen ocean]

just make the game into hotline miami tbh

[swift shadow]

smellovision

[feral plaza]

change the campaign to only troll dungeons

[untold pier]

honestly I hope someone does a campaign troll remix

[feral plaza]

(I mean... obviously I have to do it)

I cant exactly build 1-1 (because wrong game and all doesnt really translate). so I am just waiting for the campaign to do that.

[drowsy furnace]

someone did lmao

[untold pier]

yeah Madalee did "1-1 but it's Quest Master"

[feral plaza]

yeah I know but

that level looks cool and it is cool. but its a lot of empty space. because we dont have gravity

[untold pier]

real

I played a level like over a year ago where someone simulated gravity w exhaust fans

[feral plaza]

let me specify: I can't exactly build 1-1 in a way that I can use it for anything. (unless I use a lot of invis stuff but like..... eh)

[untold pier]

and whirlwinds for jumping

[feral plaza]

I thought about building 1-1 realisticly in quest master.

I might at some point

(which yes it would be mostly just a straight line of floor tiles. we are removing the y-axis with this one)

[hoary maple]

2d mode is planned post 1.0, so maybe one day

[feral plaza]

2d mode will be great. But I won't count on it anytime soon

[subtle zodiac]

Allow players to eat honey off the floor

[untold pier]

god-tier shivpost

[crystal mulch]

How about yellow snow in the winter event

[hoary maple]

do it coward

[coral vale]

Honey should slow down projectiles

[untold pier]

Honey arrow that slows down an enemy and makes them tasty so they attract other enemies to eat them

[hoary maple]

honey theme that slows down the framerate

[swift shadow]

Also plays all sounds at .25 speed.

[flint fulcrum]

Add Za Warudo to Quest Master.

[hoary maple]

unironically, i thinm julian contemplated the idea of the stopwatch from Zelda 1

[vague dew]

Add eldritch jerma The Doorman to the game

[rustic moon]

Provide a key

[amber jungle]

Give every person on this discord a cheap plastic toy key.

[north crow]

bring back the bowl

[drowsy furnace]

LMAO

quality shivpost

[hoary maple]

add bowls to the game

[open mulch]

Add a bowl haircut skin.

[grim sorrel]

lol

[vague dew]

Turbo Overkill crossover: disable keyboard and mouse in maker mode entirely when a controller is plugged in

[placid night]

Enemy Idea: Octotron

A robot that walks around like a skeleton

Fires an arrow in 8 directions every single 2 seconds

It takes 64 sword hits to kill

When killed, it splits into 8 smaller versions of itself

When the smaller versions are killed, they spawn 8 even smaller versions of themself

To kill the Octotron, you must kill the 64 even smaller versions after killing the smaller versions after killing the actual Octotron

Also it can walk on both liquids and ground because yes

Also it screams "Octogon power!" when it shoots

[hexed wren]

make the log file password protected

[vague dew]

Allow TASers to beat the campaign in five microseconds by swapping between games on steam at an unsafe rate

[subtle zodiac]

Make the gameplay "smooth"
(It's just slower)

[static flare]

Add Crit Wiggles from Ocarina of Time. (At low health, the game sometimes just changes your movement input slightly)

[untold pier]

THAT'S A THING???

[static flare]

YEAH and it fucks with speed runs LOL

[drowsy furnace]

why. why did they add that.

😭

[untold pier]

insane I had no idea until just now

and I've watched a lot of OoT speedruns and beaten the game like 3 times or more

it's an interesting idea at least

[static flare]

Yeah it fits the theme of Link being tired but man does it interfere with precise setups, like wrong warps.

[hoary maple]

the reason it happens is because link has a "low health" idle animation. however, every so often, the game tries to run this animation even when not idle for a single frame, realises he's not idle, and resumes running.

during this frame, your inputs are locked which casual players just aren't going to notice but can really mess up frame perfect tricks

[tardy slate]

add knockback enchantments for your weapons and send enemies way farther
(You can also give it to enemies)

[white otter]

You’ve basically created exactly what you wanted with this request thread lmao

Oh my, this threads a lot longer than I thought. Why did it show up for me all of a sudden?

[vague dew]

On this note: add feather falling. Yes, this does include the implied addition of fall damage

[white otter]

add https://tenor.com/view/frugjam-gif-21400312 as a playable character

And when the shake what yo mama gave you™ ring is equipped and used, all enemies on screen break down

[drowsy furnace]

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/845065304542543923/1125816924094337035/attachment-18.gif

[glad ingot]

Perfection

[hexed wren]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1302847137348059242/1457560965829627975/stare.gif

[tacit temple]

Replace the rejected tag with "Nah" and the accepted tag with "Coming tomorrow"

[magic sleet]

on April 1st

[wicked oar]

Make every day April fools day

Make every day April fools day

[untold pier]

every day is already April Fool's Day

[magic sleet]

what have I done

[static flare]

Add the boss key door opening minigame from Skyward Sword

[hoary maple]

skyward sword swimming controls

[white otter]

Add motion controls to QM 🔥

[hoary maple]

add kinect support

https://steamcommunity.com/app/1507780/discussions/0/3192486000805884901/

[hexed wren]

if you zoom in on a wind turbine in maker mode it should play jet engine sounds

[subtle zodiac]

Make it so you can only have 1 mod installed at a time.

[hoary maple]

and it's the Shivposts mod

[vague dew]

Add a 1/256 chance for your sword to deal zero damage

[gusty musk]

not just a lockpicking kit, we need a whole lockpicking minigame

on that note, we should allow for in-dungeon microtransactions integrated with dungeon logic

buy QuestCoins ($5 real life dollars = 50 questcoins) and then spend them in Dungeons, all QuestCoins sent are sent to their creators who can cash them out at a rate of 100 questcoins = $1

also per this julian message, it's been confirmed that we're changing engines to UE5 for the RTX

[white otter]

I remember he said that 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

[vague dew]

https://tenor.com/view/half-life-hlvrai-dr-coomer-coins-feed-me-coins-gif-17784920

[glad ingot]

I like this feature tbh

[static flare]

Oh yeah Julian, I totally agree that maker mode should be locked behind doing the hard difficulty sword challenge perfectly 100 times in a row. Great idea!

Oops, that was supposed to be in a private DM

Ignore that

[solid fern]

add a hellhound enemy

that jumps out the screen and eats your soul

[glad ingot]

Not a shivpost

[solid fern]

nom

[solid fern]

nuhuh

[static flare]

Add ⛷️ skis that allow you to slide super fast over ice and use ice ramps. But enemies on snowboards will stop you to tell you that snowboarding is superior and you’re actually super lame for being a skier.

[hoary maple]

and then a yeti eats you

https://tenor.com/view/skifree-monster-ski-eat-gif-7391223

[timber kernel]

This thread is for bad ideas

[white otter]

Yeah! Like rotateable trap doors

[hexed wren]

there should be trapdoors that face left/right based on their political standing

[vague dew]

The achievement you get for being chastised like this is "piste off"

[wicked oar]

Give Lucky a gun

[subtle zodiac]

Give gun a lucky

[hexed wren]

Shoot lucky

Shoot him til he dead

[subtle zodiac]

un-shoot lucky

un-shoot him til he alive

[hexed wren]

yeah so he can be killed again

decoration idea: lucky's head

[vague dew]

Remove invisible doors - deprecated by collision-less custom objects which use a piece of wall as a sprite.

[wicked oar]

Allow players to write emojis on signs and dialogues

[hoary maple]

oops all

[vague dew]

Port the game to the Monotech Power Game Unit. Monotech — game FUTURE!™️

[glad ingot]

you can?

[wicked oar]

How?

[glad ingot]

copy pasting them over

[white otter]

I think you already can do this

Oh didn’t see that craw already replied to this lol

You could also use the onscreen keyboard too on your pc or steam deck, it lets you pick emojis outta there

[vast schooner]

Game update so that it only hardlocks you if the text in the textbox is "Welcome to Carl's HardLock Café, may I take your order?"

[hexed wren]

a "blind playthrough" button that wipes your memory of a dungeon so that you can experience it for the first time again

[wicked oar]

I wish this is real for many of the games I've played

(Infinite fun)

Genuinely great suggestion ngl

[white otter]

Imagine you use it and your brain wipe self doesn’t feel like giving it the time lol

[hexed wren]

maybe it could be like severance

brain wipe self is a separate conscience entirely that is activated when i want to play the level

[white otter]

Oh boy

[hexed wren]

swimming should make the game significantly less fun

while flippers are equipped player movement speed should be halved

and the player should drown after a short time underwater

[wicked oar]

Close #1120385375551115374

[drowsy furnace]

true

[subtle zodiac]

Add unlucky locks

[hexed wren]

make piratespeak the default language

[stray bridge]

Ultrakill crossover: you die if you don't kill a enemy in 3 miliseconds

[wicked oar]

Make Javelynn take 4x more damage by default

[subtle zodiac]

Lock Shiv behind completing the single player campaign

[wicked oar]

Make it so that you cannot play the campaign without Shiv

[slender drum]

Change the minecart into a convertible car. And everytime it gets used the exhaust fumes
fills up the room with black smoke and you can't see shit anymore

[hexed wren]

remove shitting

[wicked oar]

Add toilets into the game

[vague dew]

Add tungsten cubes. If picked up and thrown using a power glove the shockwave kills everything in the current room (including yourself)

[drowsy furnace]

this also kills fairies

which means you can't revive to survive it, because the fairies die

[hexed wren]

add memory leaks

[hoary maple]

remove memory

[open mulch]

remove memory

[wicked oar]

remove memory

remove memory

[hoary maple]

add deja vu

[hexed wren]

add brain fog

[hoary maple]

add deja vu

[vague dew]

Add glue traps

[wicked oar]

Make glue traps edible

[mighty elk]

Honey can randomly explode and instantly kills

[icy dew]

Add a tablet to Shiv in the campaign that when it presses the button the whole game crashes. This scene appears at the start.

[subtle zodiac]

Soup

[hexed wren]

let me design the campaign from here

[untold pier]

snowboard is just one big ski

remove the parts book

you may only create dungeons using blueprints and tools like copy/paste and eyedropper

add scarcity

[drowsy furnace]

yeah

👍

[untold pier]

maker mode parts are now limited in quantity, and you must travel to the maker market in order to purchase them

all purchases made in Aetherium cryptocurrency

Lucky has a monopoly on keys so they're super expensive

he also has a monopoly on locks which is self-dealing I think

but he pays off the queen so he doesn't get in trouble

[feral plaza]

remove all the tags for levels (like traditional. puzzle and troll)
and have these new tags instead:
suffering
bugs
lucky
potato
art
tutorial
skill issue
(I dont think we need other tags)

[untold pier]

one last tag: tutorial

so you can make Suffering Tutorial dungeons

or Bugs Tutorial

[feral plaza]

sure let me add 2 more

there

[untold pier]

Potato Art Tutorial

[feral plaza]

now its good

[untold pier]

Lucky Potato Bugs

when I fail at slot machines: Lucky, Skill Issue

omg wait you could make a language mod that changes the existing tags to these lmao

come on Potato Suffering Tutorial

[feral plaza]

hmmm. I mean if its a language mod which tag becomes which

which ones do we have?

traditional -> ???
puzzle -> ???
linear -> ???
troll -> ???
parkour -> ???
art -> ???
and some other I forgor

let me just check

[untold pier]

traditional -> zelda

[feral plaza]

but consider:
traditional -> old

[untold pier]

also there is no linear tag. you're thinking of non-linear

art -> tasteful
troll -> art

[feral plaza]

traditional -> old
puzzle -> bugs
non linear -> circle
troll -> art
parkour -> floor
art -> potato
escort -> suffering
speedrun -> short
recreation -> plagiarism
showcase -> tutorial
exploration -> maze
music -> vibes
gauntlet -> skill issue
boss battle -> lucky

this is completly accurate and there is nothing wrong trust
these should be the new names of the tags

[drowsy furnace]

nooo

because no one uses escort

[untold pier]

correction:

boss battle -> Zorbius

music to vibes is real af

also it's funny how exploration can go two ways, maze like you said, but also sometimes just a huge open area with random stuff placed everywhere

[feral plaza]

its just a very big maze without walls. you can still get lost.

[untold pier]

lol

exactly

[wicked oar]

Enemies Should Be Allowed To Pick Up Hearts And Foods To Fully Heal Themselves

[vague dew]

Remove my constipation irl and put it in the game instead

[hexed wren]

the game is already constipated when it comes to updates

[vague dew]

Add mandatory dlss 5 ✨

[crystal mulch]

nah

[hoary maple]

add 65535 aiming directions

[tacit temple]

turn all directional characters/objects into 3d models so there's no need to draw separate directions

[hard kiln]

make the background just green

[hard kiln]

make the entire screen just green and then you have to greenscreen out the game in order to see it

[untold pier]

nah, give the base sprite to an AI and let it generate the other directions, easy

[hard kiln]

nah, turn the base sprite 90 degrees for each direction, easy

[subtle zodiac]

Every second there is a 1 in 100,000,000 chance the game just shuts down

[vague dew]

Every time a door opens there is a 1/100 chance the game opens ultrakill 8-3

[flint fulcrum]

Sell QM to Netflix so that they'll release an update with about 2 features once per year.

[subtle zodiac]

British language mod

[hexed wren]

when i made my piratespeak mod i basically just wrote everything in a scouse accent

[hard kiln]

make it so if you change any files (which includes adding mods) and try to run the game it doesnt let you because the files were modified

[drowsy furnace]

mm no

it just gives you a popup whenever you try to make an imput

(Attention: The files were modified! This action could risk significant damage to the game environment, your computer, your house, your head, your soul-)

[wicked oar]

Add politics and drama into the game so more people will buy the game

[hard kiln]

add the ability to go back to bed in the bedroom of gramma's house and then it cuts to a 100 year timeskip where you finally wake up and the world ended 5 years after you went to sleep

[wicked oar]

Release 1.0 right now

[drowsy furnace]

add satan to questmaster
#6666th shivpost

[subtle zodiac]

Announce extended dialogue as an April fools joke

[feral plaza]

release 1.0 because it would be funny

[hard kiln]

no.

announce it fr

[green marsh]

FAKE DOORS
Explode upon contact with player and send them flying across the room

[tardy slate]

door mimics that just eat you and you die

[stray bridge]

make a exactly 1/2918591823591829328921839258918596981982389 chance that your save data gets deleted, 1.0 is turned into 0.0000001.0 and so noone will see it and also turns the game into free to play and pay to win

every second

[hard kiln]

add decoy swords that explode when you hit something with them

[tacit temple]

Add a bed in the player's house for every downloaded skin

[hard kiln]

you go downstairs and theres STILL BEDS

missile item. when used, gets removed from inventory and blows up the whole room.

+nuke variant that blows up the whole dungeon

[tall perch]

Add just one bed for every player skin. It grows with the number of skins you've downloaded. Indefinitely.

[wide prawn]

Remove game from steam when we release 1.0

[hoary maple]

upload 1.0 as "Zelda Maker"

[wicked oar]

Only feature Kaizo dungeons from now on

[hard kiln]

add every shivposts suggestion from the past, present, and future

[open mulch]

Make the most anticipated feature of 1.0 a campaign mode exclusive.

[glad ingot]

Make make QM locked behind 1.0

Now you need to beat the game to play the game

Wait what

[wicked oar]

So campaign mode?

[glad ingot]

this is what I was trying to say yeah

[subtle zodiac]

Add food that tastes bad and doesn't do anything other than make your character unhappy

[hexed wren]

some kind of...nasty empanada

[hard kiln]

add a panda and when you interact with him he just says "em". get it, cuz he's an "em panda" 🥁

[wicked oar]

Make all modded dungeons no longer have an indicator that they're modded

[drowsy furnace]

shivposts that would JUST be a removal of existing features aren't funny

🥀

[wicked oar]

Remove everything that makes a video game fun

[hard kiln]

when its 1.0's release date, accidentally delete the entire game

[untold pier]

I wonder how many shivposts mention deleting the game lol

[glad ingot]

when 1.0 drops send 10000000000000000000000000000 thomas and shiv into the code

[untold pier]

gotta start a hall of fame in the pins

that one is definitely my favorite

[rustic moon]

“Add more number signs” might be THE Shivpost, honestly

[untold pier]

it's so good

peak comedy

if anyone wants to suggest a pin go ahead

[tacit temple]

#1280611745861472266 message

[untold pier]

yessss

another way to do that joke is have Lanze be missing from the last image

I wonder if that would hit better

[tacit temple]

well the switch is off, so he should be active :P

peak editing would be going into maker mode, hitting the switch, and then he disappears

[glad ingot]

"Plays FAA sound effect"

[untold pier]

ohh right no I misinterpreted the logic

[tacit temple]

also I'm looking for potential pins by searching reactionary messages (I found Cotton's by searching lmao) but there's way less than I initially thought

I'll let you judge if this is worthy #1280611745861472266 message

[untold pier]

hmm maybe a bit too niche

it was funny back during the weekly update cycle tho

[tacit temple]

true

[untold pier]

#1280611745861472266 message is this good enough

#1280611745861472266 message this was eventually confirmed lmao

sorry if that's too much it's just funny to me

[grim sorrel]

Minotaur boss was 10/10 lol

[glad ingot]

https://youtu.be/R6yW3CL6-Xk?si=csN4qzDor5h4O2BL

[iron meadow]

Play as Dora the illegal explorer.

[untold pier]

the what?

[iron meadow]

You know Dora, her favorite line is backpack or something like that.

[untold pier]

I know Dora the Explorer

I don't get your joke

[iron meadow]

It is making fun of Dora, and being a bad idea for QM.

[untold pier]

no like what's the illegal part

idgi

[iron meadow]

Because she is from Mexico. Really I don't know if on the cartoon if she is exploring in Mexico or it's supposed to be the US. It's suppose assume that she is over here illegally to explore. The bad idea is that she is in your dungeon illegally exploring.

[untold pier]

oh, I thought she was exploring all over. maybe you could find out if you watched the cartoon!

but no I'm pretty sure her adventures aren't illegal. it's a kid's show so that would be strange

[crystal mulch]

Yea Jake I dont understand the need to bring this up as a joke here, I watched the cartoon as a kid and not once thought about her being Mexican or illegally adventuring anything lol

[untold pier]

oh you had that show in Germany?

[crystal mulch]

Ofc! Beloved children’s program of my generation

[untold pier]

hehe that's cute

[crystal mulch]

Basically everyone watched it

[untold pier]

actually wait that makes sense. she's an explorer so I shouldn't be surprised she was in Germany. I bet people all around the world know her 🤭

[iron meadow]

It wasn't a joke, it was a bad feature- request. The title says "requests and horrible feature ideas."
And it is horrible idea.

[feral plaza]

I do know dora the explorer so that checks out. (although I am right next to germany so that aint much of a suprise probably)

[drowsy furnace]

ok, but like. the point of the thread is to make it funny 🥀

[iron meadow]

It says "requests and horrible feature ideas"
I assume to add to QM.

[drowsy furnace]

joke requests and horrible feature ideas

[untold pier]

you had no problem with me calling it a joke before, so that's not important, nor is whether it's funny or not. I'll just be up front and say please don't refer to anyone, especially Mexican or hispanic people as "illegal". it's a common racist and anti-immigrant stereotype, and not acceptable in this server. if you don't understand why and/or want to learn about immigration and the struggles of migrant people, I encourage you to do some research.

[rustic moon]

What is going on in my goofy joke thread

[untold pier]

nothin anymore

[rustic moon]

Ight

[drowsy furnace]

in regards to the pin discussion, i think this one deserves it

[iron meadow]

I didn't say it was a joke but making fun of the Dora and it's a horrible feature idea.

[drowsy furnace]

whatevs, let's move on please
didn't land

[untold pier]

problem is not that it didn't land

[drowsy furnace]

-ok, yeah also it was offensive

[untold pier]

posts of that nature aren't acceptable in the server. jokes or not, if it happens again we'll have to take disciplinary action.

[iron meadow]

A Requests and horrible feature ideas offensive? so you can twist it in your mind however you want to, that's your problem.

[untold pier]

are you going to continue?

we have taken no action so far

[drowsy furnace]

hi- yes- it's offensive- i'd rather not fight on this one can we stop please 🥀

[untold pier]

and to be clear, I tried extensively to understand from your perspective

[iron meadow]

You are threatening me because you don't like my post, really?

[drowsy furnace]

oh my god--

[hexed wren]

jake just let it go

[crystal mulch]

Jake, Dani isn’t the only one who read into it like that

The first thing I thought was also that it was clearly a racist joke or at least playing with common stereotypes, and I’m not even from the US

[drowsy furnace]

-# it's not a matter of opinion, it breaks server rules. please stop before action is taken against you.

[crystal mulch]

We love to have you here, but this is a game server with people from all ethnicities and age ranges, and some things are inappropriate to say

[untold pier]

Jake, you're timed out for 24 hours. You were given a warning intended to help you follow the rules of the server and be respectful of this space. Please take this time to review the rules and consider how you wish to behave in this server. Your intention is not up for debate and we will assume you come in good faith going forward.

all good

[feral plaza]

idk how to bring things back to fun and whimsy.
but random thought I had

if crab was so good why dont we have lobsters crab 2 yet?

[untold pier]

good point

[rustic moon]

Dude, they still haven’t even added crabs to the game. Ask Victoonix. He’s been asking for eons

[hexed wren]

they should add more rat variants

[feral plaza]

oh of course I was using the crab mod and forgot they arent in the game yet my mistake. (very weird it doesnt have the modded tag must be a bug)

[hexed wren]

i want like green rats and stuff

[tacit temple]

I always thought it was weird that moonlight brambles has an extra enemy exclusive to it

[crystal mulch]

Not my idea 🙇🏻

[tacit temple]

-# (it wasn't a complaint I think you missed the joke)

-# or it was bad

[feral plaza]

nah I understood it

[crystal mulch]

Oh yea I know but I’m just saying to complain to Thomas if anyone wants to

Im Safe

[grim sorrel]

poor Thomas

[tacit temple]

bro's looking for any reason to attack Thomas

[crystal mulch]

Only good ideas come from my side ofc

[rustic moon]

If I recall correctly, the whole “add crabs” bit was what started this thread Victoonix doing that caused me to start throwing out fake feature requests, and thus, this nonsense happened

[feral plaza]

so much happened because of crabs and julian still didnt add them?

smh

[rustic moon]

So true

[grim sorrel]

poor Thomas... it's not enough that the ladder icon (made by him, probably) has become a request for a minotaur boss.

[rustic moon]

Imagine it’s foreshadowing to a real boss though…

[glad ingot]

I think you mean "so much happened because of crabs and THOMAS still didn't add them?"

[feral plaza]

TRUE.
cant believe thomas caused every problem in quest master.

[wicked oar]

Make every enemy that can teleport always teleport on top of you and their hurtbox size is tripled

[tacit temple]

Make goozlings home in on the player's position while jumping

[feral plaza]

make goozers able to pick up the player like they do with items when they jump on them.

[drowsy furnace]

ghehehehe

[tacit temple]

LIKE BUBBLES, YES

[grim sorrel]

to allow Julian to focus even more on the 1.0 version, add an NPC that weekly gives spoilers for things in the 1.0 version, but the spoilers are fake and generated by AI

[grim sorrel]

Delete mod support with the argument that if console players don't have access, nobody will because "we are all equal." Send data on modders who made Nintendo-based mods to Nintendo and encourage them to sue them

[scarlet hedge]

I have one-- Release 2.0, and never release 1.0. THE MIND GAMES

[wicked oar]

Make Shadow shivs completely invincible, float above pits, and can one hit KO players and teleport on top of them

[drowsy furnace]

how is this funny again..?

[wicked oar]

Shiv = funny boom explanation goven.

Shiv = funny boom explanation goven.

[untold pier]

reinventing Lunarc as Shiv lmao

aside from the teleporting part

[wicked oar]

We are innovating humor

Increase player hurtbox by 4x4 pixels without changing their sprite and nobody would notice this change

[untold pier]

the flood of bug reports 😭

[drowsy furnace]

ok this one's good

lmao

[tacit temple]

To guarantee a polished experience on 1.0, remove any feature that is prone to creating bugs, such as selection tool and lower elevation

[vague dew]

Add a level to the campaign where you are given a single stick with which to find and kill one enemy in a large room to obtain the gem. Which enemy acts as the trigger is different every time. The stick does not respawn.

[wicked oar]

Make the game also auto saves whenever you hit anything with a stick

[icy dew]

Revert every fixed bugs in 1.0 and delete #1123258177765511198

[wicked oar]

Add a dog into the game

[grim sorrel]

Already have one

Add bosses as mount

[untold pier]

Add a second dog

[grim sorrel]

Add Thomas profile picture as pet

[amber jungle]

Add the same dog from castle town as a dungeon part, but you can’t pet it

[untold pier]

this isn't even a Shivpost

[glad ingot]

add a 4th dog but not a 3rd

[wicked oar]

People have been complaining that you can't swing the sword botom left without spin attack, so we clearly need to make it so that the sword only swings bottom left

[hexed wren]

alternatively, you could remove the sword entirely and give the player laser eyes which they can point in every direction

[feral plaza]

I mean if you add laser eyes we could only point it in 4 directions while the sword can hit diagonally.

clearly we need diagonal lance sprites

[icy dew]

Replace the sword system with another one, where the sword would point/swing at your mouse pointer and the way you kill enemies is swinging it at the enemies with your mouse

This way we can finally swing it in bottom-left

[grim sorrel]

not realy a bad idea except for replacement

[untold pier]

or make it like the Zelda 1 sword where you just stabby stab the tile in front of you. then nobody can complain about the lower corners bc you can't hit any corners

[tacit temple]

After finishing the story, let us enter maker mode in castle town so we can redecorate it

[drowsy furnace]

that'd be peak though

[grim sorrel]

Could have a way to stab if pressing UP (or W in keyboard) while attacking 🤔

If QM was in early stage of development i could suggest in feature request

[wicked oar]

Design the entire single player campaign based on kaizo troll levels I Wanna Be The Guy style

[tardy slate]

april fools extra campaign level

[open mulch]

Add a small chance for a level to randomly be marked as completed even if you have never played it before to gaslight people.

[hard kiln]

like when a youtube video shows a full red bar at the bottom when you've never watched it or you've only watched like the first 10 seconds

[grim sorrel]

Insert short promotional videos for other games from the publisher each time a checkpoint is triggered

and add a monthly subscription to withdraw them

[hard kiln]

make this the only sword direction

if you dont get to go down left, you only get UP left

[hard kiln]

thats close enough, right?

[hexed wren]

make it so that every time you try to swing your sword it brings up a menu for you to input the angle you want to swing it in

[rustic moon]

Any time you start to perform any action (Attacking, opening chests, pushing blocks, etc.), a prompt appears, asking “Are you sure?” and you have to click to finish performing the action

[feral plaza]

but what if they missclick?
I think there should be a second "Are you sure?" prompt just in case.

[grim sorrel]

reduce movement speed and damage by 95%, and make us need to upgrade each 1% by performing this action for 1 hour

[icy dew]

Add stamina system to the game
You lose 1% for every step/action you do, lose 10% every time you take damage and 25% if you die. When it run out, your game will close and you will only be able to play it again if you either pay 10$ to play again or you wait until tomorrow to play again

[icy dew]

Also sorry for a lot of typos in here
Typing in mobile sucks

[feral plaza]

add a gambling wheel.
with a 10% chance to make the dungeon you used the wheel on becomes featured.
and a 90% chance to get banned forever. (we need more gambling in quest master)

[amber jungle]

Make every text box end with “would you like me to repeat that” and default over the yes button.

[open mulch]

Add a 30 second unskipable opening cutscene every time you open the game.

[drowsy furnace]

this is a peak shivpost

top tier

[grim sorrel]

https://klipy.com/gifs/the-legend-of-zelda-ocarina-of-time-3

[wicked oar]

Double that and give it to the next person who eats steak

[vague dew]

https://tenor.com/view/are-you-sure-are-you-sure-omni-man-gif-10978130412778304783

[hard kiln]

add a part that when placed, when the player starts moving for the first time, they cant stop or theyll explode

[grim sorrel]

this could rly be something like a time-limit debuff (you cant stop for a while or will explode)

good idea

[buoyant heath]

Dinnerbone item. For my fellow Minecraft players, yes, it does exactly what you think it does - including working on the player.

[hard kiln]

its asset is just a bone on a plate

[full fern]

Status that randomly remaps all key inputs, the game is stuck like that forever.

[tacit temple]

make floor tiles centerable

[hard kiln]

make walls centerable

[wicked oar]

Make the player centerable

[hard kiln]

add The Mysterious Orb™

[wicked oar]

add The Mysterious Zorb™

[drowsy furnace]

add The Mysterious Zorbius™

[hard kiln]

add The Mysterious Broz™

(for context, please refer to https://discord.com/channels/802965133998424064/1295812692556124334)

[glad ingot]

@ocean talon

[ocean talon]

this is fake, this is not a shivpost

[grim sorrel]

make the girl from fontain the final boss and with with 50% mora hp and dmg if you pushed it away from the source before

[drowsy furnace]

bro doesn't know ran's name 🥀

[crystal mulch]

Detective Conan reference btw ✌️

[hoary maple]

huh. I figured it was just because they ran everywhere =p

[grim sorrel]

Now its easy to remember lol

Why would i remember the name of some random pixel kid? i not even remember the real ones that i am suppose to remember 💀

[open mulch]

Change the name Aetheria so anything that references the Kingdom of Aetheria makes no sense for new players.

[glad ingot]

welcome the diaria the kingdom of shivs, our queen is queen diarama and the princess is prince diamama, with the hero being named: DAIDAIRAKA

[hoary maple]

replace all names with Shiv

welcome to Shiv, the kingdom of shivs, our Queen is Queen Shiv and the princess is prince Shiv, with the hero being named: SHIV

the ending is just this, but it's all Shiv
https://youtu.be/gjdaa-Q9XPg?si=7bOhaRByjyXgxMTA

[hard kiln]

add

https://tenor.com/view/cat-brick-black-black-cat-cute-gif-6139562495835704323

because hes cute

[icy dew]

Make every single line from the campaign AI-generated

[amber jungle]

If the player leaves the game open for 2 whole years in a room with a goozling it should grow into a goozer

[icy dew]

And the goozers (if they are in the same room as you) would grow into a boss

And the boss goozers would grow into an... uh...

Turn something greater than a boss

[amber jungle]

Then they die, and after another several years reincarnate as a Lunarc.

[glad ingot]

not a shivpost

[green marsh]

Slightly infuriating quest master. all tiles are offset by one pixel is a random so that you can see the void beneath direction when deleted objects have a chance to leave behind a ghost block where the object projects itself a 2% transparency when shot projectiles are also offset by 16 pixels
Chests and doors will not close full and also stay slightly open the sword animation would be offset not by much but just enough so that you can see its clearly not in the characters hand.

Hope this is just infuriating enough

[grim sorrel]

Make a colab with super dungeon designer, super dungeon maker, Nutty Dungeons and Templer Maker 64 or buy the teams to work in Quest Master

[icy dew]

Get EA to work on Quest Master

[hard kiln]

add 1051895048468418460468064.584 microtransaction currencies

[wicked oar]

I thought the devs who made quest master are also the same devs who made super dungeon maker no?

Make wooden bows instantly break when you get hit by any fire attack or get burned

[wicked oar]

Also, make wooden bow break when you fire a fire arrow

[grim sorrel]

I guess Julian didnt work i SDM

[hoary maple]

it was a German developer named Julian

that's why there's some confusion

[glad ingot]

no?

[grim sorrel]

another one?

[hoary maple]

https://tenor.com/view/phineas-and-ferb-doofenschmirtz-if-i-had-two-nickels-gif-8492318790274198203

[hard kiln]

add every shivpost ever made and dont mention it in the patchnotes

[wicked oar]

This implies that meth projectile will be added and 1.0 will be cancelled

[hard kiln]

yes

[glad ingot]

and we will be living on planet shiv?

[hard kiln]

yes

all of it

oh and dont forget the Stinky Foot Powerup™©®

[tardy slate]

Next April fools just adds a bunch of shivposts

[subtle zodiac]

Make every day april fools

[amber jungle]

Flip the entire map and call it quest master master quest.

[wicked oar]

Say that again

[icy dew]

When 1.0 is public, don't do Quest Master 2 and jump directly to Quest Master 3

And if someone asks where is Quest Master 2, tell them that it's already released

[wicked oar]

You're right, it's called Quest Master. And Quest Master 1 is actually called Super Dungeon Maker

[hard kiln]

accurate

[icy dew]

Delete Castle Town. When you play the game for the first time, you must choose a published dungeon to be your own permanent Castle Town

[glad ingot]

When 1.0 releases release the shivs

Who let the shivs out

[icy dew]

Add the whole Shiv's family to the game's campaign and make them also appear on every dungeon the game's gonna have in the campaign

[drowsy furnace]

pretty good

[grim sorrel]

Reduce 50% of speed from characters cs they arent sleeping well anymore with the absence of beds

[mighty elk]

Rework Lunarc to shut off your pc if it hits you

[drowsy furnace]

not bad not bad

we got a winning streak

[hard kiln]

make it so there's a "are you sure?" popup for saving dungeons

[subtle zodiac]

Add an achivement for doing nothing for 24 hours

Add an achivement for deleting your save file after beating the campain

[tacit temple]

Add an achievement for getting all achievements (including this one)

[wicked oar]

So like a platinum trophy

[hard kiln]

yes but impossible

[wicked oar]

Remove contact damage from the game entirely

[latent arch]

ADD contact damage globally, everything hurts you now

[icy dew]

Lunarc ring: Lunarc spawns on every room you go and lunarcs that are already in the room gets faster on moving and swinging the schythe

[hexed wren]

Midas Ring: you can't move when you wear this ring because it makes you a gold statue. additionally, everything that touches you while you're a gold statue also turns to gold. whilst in gold statue form, you're 5x more valuable

[drowsy furnace]

this is pretty good

only thing is that you don't need to put the "everything hurts you now"; the joke's funnier when it isn't explained

[subtle zodiac]

New spin ring that makes the spin attack never stop, even if you exit the game.

[wicked oar]

Make the players so fucking ass at swinging their sword

[hard kiln]

new firebar type that never stops growing

[icy dew]

Make every word a typo for every dialogue in the campaign and in Castle Town (including the house where you start)

Alsp inclodes tha Discurs servar

[subtle zodiac]

Make it so you have to provide a key for all the dialogue in your dungeon

[hard kiln]

wdym

[subtle zodiac]

You remember that update that unintentionally changed a bunch of text to say there was no key provided

[drowsy furnace]

i somehow don't think he does

[hard kiln]

OHHHHHH

yeah i saw that in-game

[placid night]

New ring that makes it so that every time a new ring is suggested in shivposts, the player deals +1 damage and spin attack is 0.0002 pixels larger

[wicked oar]

Green ring: this ring makes you green 💚

[hoary maple]

the one ring.
only one player may ever have it.
you turn invisible but spawns a group of Lunarcs that hunt you

[placid night]

50% green ring: a ring that makes the entire game 50% greener

[icy dew]

Add a ring thst crashes your game while equipped

[subtle zodiac]

50% red ring

[hard kiln]

50% blue ring

[amber jungle]

Add a 1-up mushroom that follows the player through walls and rooms once they enter the room its in. Once it touches them they die.

[tacit temple]

10% red
20% green
15% concentrated power of teal
5% purple
50% brown
and 100% chance to turn the screen upside down

[drowsy furnace]

it's teal?? ZAMN!!

[subtle zodiac]

Make it so you start with 10 random parts and unlock the rest via streetpass

[hard kiln]

make it so you start with 10 random parts and unlock the rest via fortnite wins (100 fortnite wins = 10% chance to get +1 random part)

[amber jungle]

Make pedestals that you have to use play coins to get the items on.

[hard kiln]

unless im misunderstanding, that alr exists

[wicked oar]

Make item pedestals that requires IRL money for players to get the items on it

I need money

[subtle zodiac]

Play coins are a currency from the nintendo 3ds, which were acuired via walking with your 3ds in real life.

[drowsy furnace]

ok that's a good bit

[hard kiln]

pretty good win streak recently

[drowsy furnace]

true

[subtle zodiac]

Limit the amount of parts you can place per day

Then make a subscription that slightly increases it

[pale jungle]

change the rejected tag on this post to implemented