#📝｜proofreading

1 messages ¡ Page 1 of 1 (latest)

heady nova
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Do y'all think this sounds professional and terse? I'm taking any inputs on which part might be confusing, not adding up, grammar issues or wrong word usage. Thanks in advance.

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The study’s abstract states how the research focuses on the subjective matter of violent video games making people more violent. The study also contrasts itself to the previous researches (which focused on the short-term effects of playing violent video games) and looks at the long-term effects of playing them. Furthermore — the abstract mentions how they’ve taken only adults (as their sample) — and mostly focused on their aggression and pro-social behavior after playing violent video games (which were the core targets) . In conclusion, the consensus states that there were no significant changes discovered.

hard nymph
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Hiii Can someone help me with this? I dunno if im using the words correctly or nah. This is the task for my literature sub.

The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen's

Retells

It is dark blue as cornflowers with the adherence of power, integrity, and seriousness. The ocean is fathomless, and like the galaxy, people have not yet reached its zenith. But on the descent to the extremity of the ocean, you will see a majestic view where merman and mermaid live. Six sisters live there are princesses; the youngest is calmer, more contemplative, wiser, and as pretty as seascape than her sisters. Every living creature in the ocean spoils the youngest princess, and no one feels any hatred towards her as she is pure as an angel and lovely as a rose. Or so they thought.

Each mermaid has a little garden underneath the sea, which they decorate with items retrieved from ships. Yet, the little mermaid only has a few flowers and a figurine of a handsome young man. She's enthusiastically devoted to collecting things that unusual but enchanting for her. No one knows the secret room that is full of the little mermaid's collection of things from the human world that she finds beautiful. Although they are all enthralled by the lands of the humans, the youngest is obviously much more interested in the world above compare to the others.

heady nova
hard nymph
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hii thank you!! I would like to know what's the difference between the two? except that the other one has a comma?

heady nova
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You can also say "The six sisters living there were princesses"( I think this would make more sense)

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Btw amazing text! You are NOT a beginner! Amazing work.

hard nymph
hard nymph
scenic knot
scenic knot
# heady nova Do y'all think this sounds professional and terse? I'm taking any inputs on whic...

Well done! I think it sounds professional, but not terse, not abrupt. It is concise and not wordy, though. I don't think i have ever written an abstract, thank God. I would consider changing the word mentions (not precise enough, too vague) to introduces or indicates. Also, I'm not sure who the consensus is. But if the audience knows, then it's fine. I'm Canadian, so I have only ever heard about a lot of research not researches.

scenic knot
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I will also make one correction: I will talk about roses. We usually use the plural form. Another example: I like roses/hamburgers/dogs. Roses are countable. If you want to talk about only one rose, it's possible. Example: I will give you a rose. 🌹 😊

soft blade
scenic knot
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It's kind of hard to read, but one thing i noticed: I think you wrote, "I was thinking on suggesting you a trip together to...." No "you". I'd like to help more, but it's too hard to read. If you typed it out, it would be easy for me to read.

slow palm
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Can someone help me improve the paragraphs I am writing?

dull horizon
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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagrams below show the existing ground floor plan of a house and a proposed plan for some building work.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

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The diagram maps out the current ground floor plan of a house and a proposed plan for some changes. In the existing ground floor, at the right of the main entrance door is the kitchen. In the kitchen there is an internal wall separating it from the main hall, where there are two internal doors, one leading to the kitchen and the other leading to the living room, and an additional entrance door. The hall is also where the stairs are situated, under which lies a storage.
These are some slight changes in the proposed plan for a rebuild: the internal wall separating the living room and the hall is removed; the stairs will get moved to the position where the current two internal doors are located and the storage will be removed. A bigger internal door will be built near the second entrance and kitchen furniture will also be added.

dull horizon
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can someone proofread it for me

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it's task 1 from the ielts exan

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if you can grade it it'd be even better

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thank you

scenic knot
# dull horizon this is my work

I've only taught IELTS a few times, so I have no idea how to grade your writing. But I think it's great. Use "on+floor". But as you correctly wrote, use "in+room". The only other mistake I noticed is when you are comparing the before and after. In the description of after, you mostly use passive future, but you missed one: the internal wall separating the living room and the hall is removed. (Because it's a proposed plan use "will be removed". If you don't, you will not be consistent) And, I'm not sure that these are "slight" changes: they removed a wall, moved two doors and the stairs, and added furniture.

dull horizon
dull horizon
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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The pie charts below show how dangerous waste products are dealt with in three countries.

Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

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This is my work:

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The pie charts illustrate the methods used by three countries (the Republic of Korea, Sweden and the United Kingdom) to deal with dangerous waste products.

Analysing further, the charts show that the Republic of Korea makes use of three main techniques: recycling, the most prevalent one, taking up to 69% of the chart; underground dumping, taking up to 22% and finally, incenerating, taking up only 9% of all the procedures used.

In Sweden, the most common system used to get rid of waste is underground dumping, with the total percentage of 55%. The second most frequently used system is recycling, which occupies 25% of the chart. The least common method is destroying waste by incineration, taking up 20% out of all the other techniques.

The United Kingdom is the only country which applies four methods for destroying waste product, the most prevalent one being underground dumping, with up to 82% usage. Chemical treatment and sea dumping each occupy 8% of the chart, making them both the second most frequently used systems. Lastly, incineration is the least common, taking up only a mere 2%.

Overall, all of these nations have two common methods to deal with garbage: by dumping them underground and by destroying them with fire. The Republic of Korea and Sweden both share the same techniques, while the United Kingdom makes use of different methods, such as chemical treatment and sea dumping. However, the country shows unwillingness in utilizing the recycling process.

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TASK 2:
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic.

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

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At the present, the increase in obesity in children has raised many red flags in society. Some people tend to point fingers at the parents, while others believe that one of the root causes lies in the government. This essay will discuss the writer's point of view about this major social issue.

First of all, the government plays a huge role in the inflow of nutritional resources. Whether the food being imported into the country is healthy, organic food or high-calorie, junk food, depends on the government. This also affects the average price of food: the more junk food that are brought into one country's economy, the less one has to pay for it. Consequently, more people will be encouraged to buy unhealthy, processed food, rather than spending on organic food.

Secondly, the government is responsible for the children's education, which is proved to heavily influence one's lifestyle. Not enough knowledge about food and eating habits has been taught in schools, leading to ignorance. Therefore, children who aren't aware of the dangers of eating junk food will most certainly continue doing it without the parents' supervision.

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Although this essay agrees that the government is in fact responsible for the rise in obesity in children, one shouldn't neglect the fact that parenting plays a major role in the children's development too. Most children who are morberly obese often come from a neglectful family, or one whose parents suffer the same kind of eating disorder, passing it onto their children. To come to this conclusion, one has witnessed numerous cases like this: a mother with her little daughter, both morberly obese, carrying a supermarket cart full of sweets, chips, soda, and other junk food. In this case, the fault is certainly inclined to the parent's side, for leading her child down the same path as hers.

Thus, apart from factors that require the parents' personal will, there is no doubt that the government is going to be a core factor to the complete eradication of obesity in children.

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I'd like to receive some feedback, thank you

scenic knot
# dull horizon I'd like to receive some feedback, thank you

The grammar in task 1 seems correct to me. Task 2: food, depends=no comma; that are brought =x (that is brought); than spending on organic food.=x (than spending money on/than buying organic...); morberly=x (morbidly); one =x (I guess you're trying to avoid using I? But I don't know how to correct this. ..one has to witness...?); consider not using "inclined". I only commented on the grammar/vocab choice. Everything else seemed fine but I didn't spend too much time looking at the diagram.

covert mesa
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For the diagram essay, i don't like using "analysing further" as your very first paragraph entry point. It only makes sense to say "analysing further" when you've already talked about some analysis, yet that's the first time you mention it. Also, you misspelled "incinerating" as "incenerating"

dull horizon
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Thanks you all so much @scenic knot @covert mesa

heady nova
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I wanna know after using " ,"= comma . It's important to start with capital lettet

heady nova
light sleetBOT
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@errant patrol, invites are not allowed!

scenic knot
scenic knot
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Some people like to start a sentence with a but. I think this is ok in casual English. I like him. But he doesn't like me. (Notice I used a period ( . ) Depending on who is doing the writing, sometimes a period looks like a comma and vice versa.)

heady nova
heady nova
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Yh

olive frigate
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I have a question, so I'm writing a novel where the narrator is using past tense, but

She then pointed toward the airstrip, where we would be parking our yacht for now. The ship landed smoothly, a result of Nia’s expertise. Her fast learning was something I still couldn’t fathom until now. She’s a Mary Sue, but in real life.
We went out via a smaller door near the left side of the bridge. It’s far closer to the bridge compared to the cargo ramp, or more accurately, cargo lift, that we went on before.

I feel some sentences like "She's a Mary Sue" and "It's far closer" sounds weird if I use was. Am I doing something wrong?

covert mesa
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well this is off topic from what you wanted to talk about

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but i do believe you should not use "now"

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use "then" or something like it instead

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or you could break out of past tense into present tense for some of these sentences

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like you could say "her fast learning is something i still can't understand now"

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even though all the rest is in past tense, having that one sentence in present tense gives it a different vibe, like if you're narrating in the present

olive frigate
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so like the sentences that continued until now (at the time the narrator is talking) it would use present tense instead, while the other part which stopped the second the narrator talks about something else uses past?

covert mesa
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yes, something like that

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for example the part where you say "fathom until now", the "Now" can be referring to both the actual present time, and the point of time in the past

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you choose which one it is as its your book

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but if you want it to be referring to a point in the past, then "now" doesn't make sense

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you could say "fathom until then" instead

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but that first sentence where you're talking about parking the yacht, in that context "for now" never makes sense

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you could use a hard time span, like "for the next few weeks", or an undefined time span, like "from then on"

olive frigate
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ah sorry, I think I forget to include the context. the now is referring to her ability of fast learning, not piloting the yacht (does that change anything?)

covert mesa
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i understand that

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you used "now" twice though

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i described both uses

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honestly after looking through some dictionaries, it seems that "now" can be used even in past tense, which i did know, but for some reason i felt like in your specific example it should not be used. However, i did not find anything online that would strongly suggest that that's the case.

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So i guess i could be wrong and "parking our yacht for now" is perfectly correct

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maybe if we can get a native to take a look we'd know for sure

olive frigate
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ah you're talking about the first now, sorry I completely missed that. I used the first now because the yacht was planned to be moved to a different place later in the story, so I'm unsure if that now actually affects the entire paragraph or not

scenic knot
scenic knot
covert mesa
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i think it's not needed but adding it anyway sorta doubles down on the meaning and adds extra emphasis

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like saying "i do enjoy it" instead of just "i enjoy it" adds extra emphasis even though "do" isn't needed there

scenic knot
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What is a Mary Sue? I've never heard that. But I just googled it and the internet says it's a thing, so I'm old, yeah. I guess your audience is a younger crowd.

covert mesa
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mary sue's a term they use for overpowered main characters in stories

scenic knot
# olive frigate I have a question, so I'm writing a novel where the narrator is using past tense...

I've heard that writers can do whatever they want. If you mix past with present you would have to have a reason for it. I think it sounds right isn't good enough, unfortunately. If it were the narrator or the second narrator speaking that would be ok. Otherwise, unfortunately I would say use past tense in those two examples that sounded weird. if you change them to past, it will make it consistent and you will eventually feel more comfortable with it.

scenic knot
covert mesa
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I don't hear it often myself as i don't usually partake in young adult novel discussions online, but if i did so then yes i'd hear it a lot

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it is a very widespread term

olive frigate
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Alright then, thanks for the suggestions

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Funnily enough, the reason I even knew about the term 'Mary Sue' was because of how people were talking about Rey from Star Wars

scenic knot
olive frigate
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Should I have said "okay" instead?

scenic knot
olive frigate
scenic knot
olive frigate
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Once again, thank you for the suggestions. It's very helpful

rustic lion
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All types of user providers at once
All types of users' providers at once
All types of user's providers at once

which one is most accurate and why

covert mesa
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i can't really tell without context

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maybe its obvious for a native

scenic knot
covert mesa
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well i reckon it's talking about the internet users, and the providers are the ISPs

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but i'm still not sure

faint eagle
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hi

bronze estuary
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You are on the Student Committee at the college where you study. A year ago, the university gave the Committee some money to start a student website. The aims of the website was to inform students about local events, to publicise college clubs, and to review possible interest to students.

The principal has asked you for a report explaining whether the website has met its purposes saying why the website should continue to have financial support

Write your report

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Report on the university website

A year ago, the student committee was granted a pay-check by the college for developing a website about university related activities. The aim of this report is to briefly summarise it, and to analyse the impact it had

Format

We, the Student Committee, made sure to make the website as professionally as we could, in order to ensure it would be representative of a highly prestigious institution such as your university. All its contents are accordingly ordered to make it easy to navigate through.

Contents

In the website, there is information about each one of the college clubs, with contact details for those who wish to know more. We regularly update the electronic bulletin talking about incoming events that might be of interest for students who want to enroll in the club activities. We also talk about how well some graduated students are doing in the job market.
Last month, we added a registrable form intended for those newbie students who need academic guidance. We do not directly do the homework to anyone, but provide them with enough resources so they can pass, and advise them whether they are making a correct career choice in accordance with their interests.

Conclusions

To conclude, even if it might be difficult to estimate it accurately, we can clearly claim that this website has turned out to be extremely beneficial for the institution as a whole. And, with the much appreciated college financial support, it should keep being run.

heady nova
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Hello ! I try my best but it's not easy to be creative but the words come randomly. I hope that my sentences are not too boring 🙂 Can you give me feedback please ?

  1. Can you give me the soft drink menu please ?
  2. The English course was more straightforward than I thought.
  3. My computer doesn’t work. Can you call the help desk for me please ?
  4. I need to plumped up cushions before my mother arrives.
  5. When I was younger, I was arrested by police and they took me my fingerprints.
  6. I spilled the cup of coffee on the carpet. It is a mess all around.
  7. The COVID-19 is widely spread all around the world.
  8. Have you an useful advice for the final english exam ?
  9. I find more convenient to travel by train than by bus.
  10. My boss is really understanding. I can leave my work whenever I want.
  11. Electronic music doesn’t fall within my music choice.
  12. I don’t have the guts to quit my job even though my boss yelled at me every day.
  13. Can you leave me alone ? You are not helpful at all.
  14. Yesterday, the police has dismantled a narcotraffic network.
  15. This teacher get on my nerves each time he opens his mouth.
  16. My brother has had nerve to quit his job without telling his boss.
  17. I don’t speak English very well but I can make myself understood.
  18. I didn’t grasp yersterday’s movie.
  19. I’m determinate to discover the truth about Elena.
  20. This drug can be sold under the counter.
  21. The merger between Ikea and Darty occured in March.
  22. I can’t bear eating my meat cold.
covert mesa
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Wrong ones imo: 4 5 8 9 12 15 16 19

small orchid
# heady nova Hello ! I try my best but it's not easy to be creative but the words come random...
  1. I need to plump up the cushions before my mother arrives.
  2. When I was younger, I was arrested by police and they took my fingerprints.
  3. COVID-19 has widely spread all around the world.
  4. Do you have any useful advice for the final english exam ?
  5. Electronic music doesn’t fall within my music choice (could I "preference")
  6. I don’t have the guts to quit my job even though my boss yells at me every day.
  7. This teacher gets on my nerves each time he opens his mouth.
  8. My brother had the nerve to quit his job without telling his boss.

These are the corrections I would personally make. They're only minor corrections though. Good job

scenic knot
scenic knot
covert mesa
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i'd also add determined instead of determinate to 19

heady nova
scenic knot
# heady nova Yes grammar feedback first but also is my sentences sounds like weird ?

The two people above corrected your grammar well. Your sentences are not weird. They are imaginative. #22 is correct. You can also write: I can't bear eating cold meat. But why are you writing all these sentences? For example, #11: I would just write: I don't like electronic music. Why are you writing that sentence in such a complicated/round-about way? I'm just curious.

heady nova
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How does this work? Do I need to ping someone?

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Ah alright

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I saw the pinned message, I thought this was to improve reading

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srry

knotty hatch
scenic knot
# knotty hatch Hey, I was reading your kind suggestions above of "now, then, and for the time b...

They are different time references. We need them to make our sentences and ideas clearer. (But I don't remember using "then". ) I am taking the train now. vs I'm taking the train tomorrow. Now=at this precise moment. For the time being =a shorter period of time. I'll continue cleaning for the time being. (=I will continue cleaning FOR NOW. ) This job should take a longer time to do, but I don't want to to do all of the job, because I have other things to do

knotty hatch
peak moth
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can a question mark be considered a comma in certain situations? For example, “ “What’s that?” He questioned.”or “What’s that?” he questioned.” In most cases, a question mark acts as a period as well as an interrogative, but what about cases where commas seem more appropriate? That is my dilemma.
What is considered a complete thought?
Is the following sentence considered a complete thought?
He ran.
But if it is an independent clause, would this make sense?
He ran;he is tired.
A semicolon is used to connect two independent clauses that are related in some way or another, but in this case, it seems inappropriate. Would a comma be more appropriate? If so, will it be a comma splice?
What about fused sentences AKA run-one?
He died he will be missed
Would a comma work here?
Thanks

scenic knot
# peak moth can a question mark be considered a comma in certain situations? For example, “ ...
  1. ?=comma. 2. Yes. 3. It's grammatically correct, but I wouldn't say there is enough of a link in those two sentences. It would be better to write He ran, so he is tired now. You definitely could not use a comma to replace the semicolon. 4. 100% wrong. No a comma would not work. It would be better to write: He died, so he will be missed. A semi-colon would be grammatically correct but I don't see enough of a link to be able to use the semi-colon.
peak moth
scenic knot
peak moth
peak moth
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my english teacher told me that

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i AM VERY S,ART

scenic knot
peak moth
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i am indeed a highschool boy

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softmore year

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owo

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i h

scenic knot
# peak moth youre spot on

Just because your writing looks like it's that level, does not mean that i will ever believe anything you say.

main spear
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@fallen meadow

knotty hatch
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I am writing 100 word short story, plz can someone find me the incorrection in grammar, sentence structure or something else.

Hazel glanced her eyes away from his face, and her unbridgeable distance towards Noah sinking his heart, he knelt, tears streaming down his face."The world could look so peaceful if you and I didn't know of its problem" Hazel said. Noah was completely devastated as he thought they were inseparable. They both were on the same route that was holding them with love; Hazel less believed in miracles and more in life treasures, she abandoned him and Noah was not wealthy though he had an evident glinting hope in his eyes to conquer the world with his endless efforts.

covert mesa
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???

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i see like a thousand

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well i guess they're not grammar mistakes

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just sentences that make no sense

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weird compositions

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unnatural

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so many ways to rewrite that first sentence to make it more natural

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i'm not sure what would be the correct one

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Maybe "Hazel glanced her eyes away from his face, her unbridgeable distance towards Noah sinking his heart; he knelt, tears streaming down his face."

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or just replace ; with .

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or "Hazel glanced her eyes away from his face, and, her unbridgeable distance towards Noah sinking his heart, he knelt, tears streaming down his face."

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not to mention we have repetition of "face"

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"Noah was completely devastated as he thought they were inseparable." this seems to have problems with tenses

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i don't think the meaning is that he was devastated while thinking

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more like he was devastated because he had thought they were inseparable

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or would it be had been inseparable

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i don't know the author's meaning

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They both were on the same route that was holding them with love; Hazel less believed in miracles and more in life treasures, she abandoned him and Noah was not wealthy though he had an evident glinting hope in his eyes to conquer the world with his endless efforts.

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again i don't know the meaning

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but i assume she abandons him because he's not wealthy

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then you could use "as Noah was not wealthy" instead of "and"

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but maybe the initial sentence was correct

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even in that case i wouldn't use "life treasures" to imply earthly possessions

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seems like a weird metaphor

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if thats even the meaning at all

knotty hatch
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what would be the alternate metaphor of life treasure

covert mesa
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not sure tbh

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the materialistic things?

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remember i'm not a native, i don't really know that much

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i just provided some feedback that was good in my mind but only a native speaker can truly say what sounds natural

knotty hatch
peak moth
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wiat is it?

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i dont think so

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The comma is inappropraite

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use a period

peak moth
torn pike
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Guys,can you recommend me resources of good essay to read ?

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Thanks in advanced ,

proper sapphire
knotty hatch
proper sapphire
knotty hatch
knotty hatch
potent abyss
knotty hatch
potent abyss
knotty hatch
covert mesa
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it's perfectly fine the way it was IMO

potent abyss
covert mesa
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why

potent abyss
# covert mesa why

it makes it sound clearer. plus they have already submitted it not I'm not bothered ┐(´ー｀)┌

covert mesa
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i'm not arguing

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i just want to understand

potent abyss
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on a informal level it just works better

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thats your choice though ( ╹▽╹ )

peak moth
hasty shell
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Hi, my teacher told me that this sentence is grammatically correct, though grammar checkers say otherwise. Can someone give me feedback and see if there is anything I can do the improve it? Thanks in advance!

"An example of a linguistic feature used to amplify the way the setting is described is a simile: ‘A silence opened up in the car that felt like they were sitting on opposite sides of a canyon.’ (p. 118 - 119).
"

hasty shell
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Oh my goodness, I said it the wrong way round, lol.

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Let me repeat myself, sorry

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Hi, my teacher told me that this sentence is grammatically incorrect, though grammar checkers say otherwise. Can someone give me feedback and see if there is anything I can do the improve it? Thanks in advance!

"An example of a linguistic feature used to amplify the way the setting is described is a simile: ‘A silence opened up in the car that felt like they were sitting on opposite sides of a canyon.’ (p. 118 - 119).
"

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I believe it is due to not addressing the quote, but I'm unsure. To elaborate, I may need to add: "A quote from the novella that supports this is:". Let me know what your opinion is. Thanks!

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After the 1st sentence.

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Oh! That sounds much better

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And makes it easier to comprehend

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Thanks!

potent abyss
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i am writing a story and i am mildly confused on a sentence i've put down: 'I should have known the answer to them.' (not full sentence)

is the "have" supposed to be 'of' or 'have' i dont what makes more sense. 'I should of known the answer' or 'I should have known the answer' (⊙_◎)

help would be greatly appreciated 🙏

covert mesa
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"should of" is not a thing. never.

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that does not exist in proper english

potent abyss
covert mesa
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of vs have isn't a tense issue

potent abyss
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im very very aware

covert mesa
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gl with the story then

heady nova
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you could also use should've

knotty hatch
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The pen in your hand, a diary whereon you write, the glasses on your face and a bottle before u that ends your thirst, and all the little things currently in your life make you think that these are your belongings and you feel affection for them when they got lost, but that weigh too small in parallel to a poor who lost his everything, whose hopes or dreams flood away by a disaster, and destroyed his shelter, drowned his animals, and all the possessions he was keeping prolong or his naive child who victimized by a havocking stream of flood whom he was trying him to hold.

Are the sentences are correct?

heady nova
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What is Proactive? How does Proactive help

One tiring night you overheard your boss say that he wants you to do extra check ins and wants you to clean all the dishes. He still hasn’t told you yet but you felt that by showing proactiveness it will be a great idea to do it early just to be prepared. That way you have stress about this week’s schedule.

  • [ ] Proactive is to do things before you are asked to do them. It is to be prepared just in case
  • [ ] this will be beneficial for kids,teens and adults because when you do something that someone hasn’t asked you to do yet but you show proactiveness It makes you more confident in the sense that you are ready to do something as soon as you know you have to do it. This will increase your active ness it’s in the word Pro Active. For example let’s say your football coach wants to enter the super bowl this year. By showing proactiveness you trained extra hard this year than last year that brings you more stamina which leads to be becoming more fit and active. Being proactive leads to being more fit and I think that’s what kids need. Professionals have found prove that 80% of people who are proactive have a easier way of organizing their day. That’s because you practise doing things before someone asking. Your Brain gets so used to it that it makes it your own pro day. Scientists say almost every successful is proactive because they plan their life out and they work hard. When nobody told them too. Comparing ten years ago with proactiveness. 73% of people who tried being proactive had a positive experience. What’s even surprising is that 87% of people who practise being proactive is see images for positively. That’s also brings to the point that
  • [x]
zenith pollen
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Ah shi, you cant upload documents here

marsh wing
zenith pollen
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Wanna see if my grammar checks out, sometimes I get mixed with German

marsh wing
marsh wing
prime pendant
#

Can someone proof read my essay?

languid marsh
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You can post the text like the others

prime pendant
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oh

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right right

languid marsh
#

People won't open links

prime pendant
#

No Comfort in Conformity

-Traditions are something that scholars, parents, and employers tend to cherish. Depending on who you may encounter, situations vary. Regardless, conformity is the central theme in our society. The Glass Castle, written by Jeanette Walls, illustrates how her family, valuing individuality, had difficulty adjusting to a community that cherished conformity as the prevailing norm; However, to them, “Life is too short to care about what other people think.” (Walls 157). Her parents never feared non-conformity but others around them seemed to have different ideals.

#

-Most adults and parents are against letting their kids break the rules in a zoo and touching a wild animal, so “[She] could hear people around us whispering about the crazy drunk man and his dirty little urchin children” (Walls 106). Nevertheless, some of them support the singularity and apathy toward the negative opinion of others, so parents tend to have different rules and raise their children based on that. As shown in the book, most parents raise their kids with a strict set of rules and in a similar manner as others; still, the Walls just did their own thing. Her parents always “liked to make a big point about never surrendering to fear or to prejudice or to the narrow-minded
conformist sticks-in-the-mud who tried to tell everyone else what was proper,” which turned out to be accurate (Walls 103). The only problem is that society runs this way.

#

-The Walls traveled throughout the United States and stayed in many states, so they learned firsthand how cruel bullies are; and can be shown “When [She] started sixth grade, and other kids made fun of Brian and me because we were so skinny" (Walls 173). Everywhere they traveled, people who believed in this conformity were everywhere. Later on, Jeannette even had a teacher make fun of her in the middle of the class by saying, “They think they are so special they don’t need to follow the rules other people have to follow… like presenting their school record when they enroll in a new school” (Walls 138). The Walls might have felt like they had to change appearance or personality to be part of the school, which lowered their self esteem. Society uses this idea that everyone has to be the same in order to make others feel left out, and this mindset is horrid but lives on in our world.

#

-In closing, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls portrays the two different norms in society, individuality, and conformity. However, individuality lacks importance to others; however, depending on who you encounter, it may vary. The Walls revolved around individualism, and since conformity was the prevailing norm, they experienced the negative aspects of society. They didn’t fear it, but others around them had different ideals. Does it matter to you?

languid marsh
#

So it is about the book you've read

prime pendant
languid marsh
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Hmmmmmmm

prime pendant
#

Glass Castle

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by Jeannette Walls

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lemme give u the prompt

languid marsh
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To me it plays out more like

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Telling about the book casualy

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Idk how your teacher wants it to be

prime pendant
#

Ill tell u the prompt

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Prompt: Based on the novel, does our society value individualism or conformity? Craft an argumentative thesis statement and support your idea with textual evidence from the novel

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@languid marsh thats what i had to write it on

languid marsh
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If the society follows conformity or not

prime pendant
#

Alright

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so i should change "Regardless, conformity is the central theme in our society"

languid marsh
#

Democracy is a central theme in non democratic countries

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Yet it is not followed

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For instance

prime pendant
#

hmm

languid marsh
#

Do it in the text

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Not only in the conclusion

prime pendant
#

Traditions are something that scholars, parents, and employers tend to cherish. Depending on who you may encounter, situations vary. Regardless, conformity is the central theme in our society and is what matters. The Glass Castle, written by Jeanette Walls, illustrates how her family, valuing individuality, had difficulty adjusting to a community that cherished conformity as the prevailing norm; However, to them, “Life is too short to care about what other people think.” (Walls 157). Her parents never feared non-conformity but others around them seemed to have different ideals.

Is this better?

prime pendant
languid marsh
#

I think having real life paralels would be better

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Like

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The zoo example

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No sane parent would ever let a kid do that

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Not an example of individualism

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Just bad parenting

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👀

languid marsh
prime pendant
#

Alright sick

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lemme fix the zoo one rq

prime pendant
#

Most sane adults and parents are against letting their kids break the rules in a zoo and touching a wild animal, so “[She] could hear people around us whispering about the crazy drunk man and his dirty little urchin children” (Walls 106). Although some of them support the singularity and apathy toward the negative opinion of others, parents tend to raise their kids in similar ways as conformity plays a significant role. As shown in the book, most parents raise their kids with a strict set of rules and in a manner that will make them fit in; still, the Walls just did their own thing. Her parents always “liked to make a big point about never surrendering to fear or to prejudice or to the narrow-minded conformist sticks-in-the-mud who tried to tell everyone else what was proper,” which turned out to be accurate (Walls 103). The only problem is that society runs this way and doesn't take in individuality 90% of the time. @languid marsh

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How is this

languid marsh
#

I don't get what is the link between the zoo and the point you are trying to make

prime pendant
#

that

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for example her parents didnt mind her touching the animal

languid marsh
prime pendant
#

which is individuality

languid marsh
#

Tradition is something, but not always related to behaviour

prime pendant
#

"people raise their kids differently"

languid marsh
prime pendant
#

make more sense?

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basically its the way their parents let their kids do things

languid marsh
#

Not really because your last argument was to make the kids fit in

prime pendant
#

how they are raised

prime pendant
#

because they are raised differently they dont fit in

languid marsh
#

touching a lion isn't going to affect if you will fit in your school group

prime pendant
#

How would you explain it?

languid marsh
prime pendant
#

alright

languid marsh
#

How would that for instance stop them from fitting in?

prime pendant
#

alright

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also should I change traditions to behaviors?

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or should i say

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fitting in...

languid marsh
#

Try to make topics and work on them

prime pendant
#

kk

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Alright

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@languid marsh i fixed it

#

Most sane adults and parents are against letting their kids break the rules in a zoo and touching a wild animal, so “[She] could hear people around [them] whispering about the crazy drunk man and his dirty little urchin children” (Walls 106). Since this is how she was raised and did things in different manners, she had a difficult time fitting in. Some of them support the singularity and apathy toward the negative opinion of others; however parents tend to raise their kids in similar ways as conformity plays a significant role. As shown in the book, most parents raise their kids with a strict set of rules and in a manner that will make them fit in; still, the Walls just did their own thing. Her parents always “liked to make a big point about never surrendering to fear or to prejudice or to the narrow-minded conformist sticks-in-the-mud who tried to tell everyone else what was proper,” which turned out to be accurate (Walls 103). The only problem is that society runs this way and doesn't consider individuality 90% of the time.

languid marsh
#

Why touching the animals in a zoo would make her not fit in?

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There is an easy way to fix it

prime pendant
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cause people think its crazy

languid marsh
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Not the kid

prime pendant
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well the kids look up to their parents

languid marsh
prime pendant
#

Alright

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smart

languid marsh
#

When writing an essay you cant assume the reader knows that

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You are explaining them the point

prime pendant
#

i always do this cause i have it in my head

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but my teacher doesnt understand sometimes

languid marsh
#

Hence why explaining it is needed

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I won't make all of the corrections because well

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Your teacher should do that

prime pendant
#

alright tell me if this sounds good then ill leave you alone

#

Most sane adults and parents are against letting their kids break the rules in a zoo and touching a wild animal, so “[She] could hear people around [them] whispering about the crazy drunk man and his dirty little urchin children” (Walls 106). Since this is how she was raised and did things in different manners, she had a difficult time fitting in, as most children look up to their parents. Some of them support singularity and apathy toward the negative opinion of others; however, parents tend to raise their kids in similar ways as conformity plays a significant role. As shown in the book, most parents raise their kids with a strict set of rules and in a manner that will make them fit in; still, the Walls just did their own thing. Her parents always “liked to make a big point about never surrendering to fear or to prejudice or to the narrow-minded conformist sticks-in-the-mud who tried to tell everyone else what was proper,” which turned out to be accurate (Walls 103). The only problem is that society runs this way and doesn't consider individuality 90% of the time.

languid marsh
prime pendant
#

Alright

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Thanks thuskie

languid marsh
#

You are welcome

prime pendant
#

thx

main compass
#

When it comes to server lags, it's likely to be due to an unstable connection issue stemmed from being matched with someone far away from their server region.

The matching search range expands as players cannot find opponents in their region.

Unless there are more players that they can be matched with in or near their region, there's always a chance of players experiencing some server instability unfortunately.

He can submit a ticket to our CS regrading this issue, but we would like to let you know that this server lag issue is somewhat expected if they end up matching with someone far away from their server region due to lack of opponents in their region.

#

Could any native speaker check this for me

tough galleon
#

Can I not paste pdfs here?

drowsy creek
#

Just copy paste text

vast bough
#

Hey I got a question, would anyone be down to read my article about the topic "home isnt a place its a feeling"

# 

 

Have you ever been in a foreign country and still felt like you were welcome and valued? Or had someone who was waiting for you? For many of us the house / flat we grew up in occupies the place in our hearts when we hear the word home. We may feel at home in a lot of other places but only a few have the distinction of being home. I have travelled the world a lot already and there were places I liked a lot and would have loved to stay there because I felt so welcome, and the people were exceedingly kind, but that is a difference to feeling at home. Only because you like a place it does not mean you feel at home. Defining the word home is a lot more complex than you first thought. Think of something in your house for example your table, in my case some items in my house give me the feeling of home. Another attempt of explaining the term home would be people, sometimes I am spending time with close friends who I have known for a decade and just feel safe and “at home”. In conclusion home is a place a feeling or even a person, it strongly depends on what memories and emotions we associate with it and how they have shaped us. But in the end, it boils down to being a feeling for me. I hope I have helped you getting your mind around such a complex term. Defining the word home is a lot more complex than I first thought. But I am very certain that it strongly depends on the person.  ```
#

the task was to write an article, so idk if I did it correctly and would be more than happy about any feedback

languid timber
ancient haven
heady nova
# vast bough ```Home a place or feeling? Have you ever been in a foreign country and st...

overall, really great and concise article ! i like your diction. the introduction, body, and conclusion are clearly distinguished and i like how you started by asking questions, although i would suggest dividing the essay into three paragraphs and indenting the first line of each paragraph. unless you don’t want to be too pedantic, you should follow this rule especially when you’re writing formal papers

also watch out for comma splice. a comma is not enough to separate two independent clauses, and you need to add either a conjunction or a semicolon to separate them. for example:

In conclusion**,** home is can be a place**,** a feeling, or even a person**;** it strongly depends on what memories and emotions we associate with it and how they have shaped us.

wild panther
#

Could anyone read mine and see if its good or not?

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The Question is:
Shakespeare's Othello presents us with a sinister and cynical view of human relationships that continues to engage modern audiences.

wild panther
heady nova
wild panther
#

Thanks

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I kinda changed a bit of it

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wanna read it?

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Its hard to wrangle with both Othello and Desdemona's bits in a 40 minute essay

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Othello’s relationship with Desdemona is shown in the first two acts as healthy and stable. Othello being shown as love-struck and romantic through his choice of words ‘...dear love…’, ‘...fair lady…’, ‘...My Desdemona…’ shows how much he values her to the point that he even changes his language to a soothing and respectful tone. Othello’s right hand man Iago however, despises that. By creating a false reality of himself in Othello’s view he manipulates him into thinking that he is being cuckolded by his wife. Iago, planting the seeds of doubt into Othello’s brain makes him cynical towards his wife and act accordingly to his orchestrations.

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This is my first paragraph

heady nova
wild panther
#

Ayy nice thanks thanks

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I kinda need to make the essay short so ill stick with two main paras rather than three and a short conclusion

heady nova
#

don’t compromise the content for a shorter length tho
what’s important is that all key points are there

wild panther
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Yeah but in a 40 minute timeframe I just hope i can put all the good bits in there without any worries

wild panther
heady nova
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okay

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but i’m afraid i won’t be able to comment much on the subject of ur essay because i don’t know anything about Othello

wild panther
#

ah ok

# 
 
 
Shakespeare skilfully displays the sinister and cynical view of human relationships through his play, ‘Othello’. This engages the audience by displaying a different perspective of human relationships that clashes with how we view them. In this essay, I will discuss about how Shakespeare presents this through Othello’s relationship and his cynicism created by an outside force: Iago.
 
 
Othello’s relationship with Desdemona is shown in the first two acts as healthy and stable. Othello being shown as lovestruck and romantic through his choice of words ‘...dear love…’, ‘...fair lady…’, ‘...My Desdemona…’ shows how much he values her to the point that he even changes his language to a soothing and respectful tone. Othello’s right hand man Iago however, despises that. By creating a false reality of himself in Othello’s view he manipulates him into thinking that he is being cuckolded by his wife. Iago, planting the seeds of doubt into Othello’s brain makes him cynical towards his wife by calling her a ‘strumpet’, a ‘whore’ and a person who sheds ‘crocodile tears’ shows the audience that he is acting accordingly to his orchestrations.
# 
 
In this essay I discussed how cynicism is shown through Othello’s relationship and how it’s caused by Iago’s manipulations. Othello’s view of Desdemona came from a beautiful wife, to a strumpet who is only out for his exoticness.
heady nova
#

i think the words ÂŤcynicalÂť and ÂŤdoubtÂť (and their derivatives) are used too much here, i suggest using synonyms. disenchanted/disenchantment, disillusioned/disillusionment, resentment/resentful, skepticism/skeptical, spite, enmity, animosity, i think these words might work

heady nova
#

@wild panther

wild panther
#

Yo

wild panther
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Good info. I’ll keep that in mind.

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Thanks a bunch man!

heady nova
#

Personally, I think using a comma rather than a colon after ‘more specifically’ is better. Please read the sentence below and compare yours to mine.

‘I’m writing to you… more specially**,**the essay writing. (Or simply essay)

Everything else is good!

mental plume
#

hey can anyone help edit this writing?

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😭

tranquil jetty
tranquil jetty
mental plume
safe rose
#

Give an example of a famous piece of artwork and analysis, then relate it to your topic in this text.

safe rose
#

lmfao alright goodluck

rustic harness
#

Dude this is soo good

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Wtf

heady nova
#

hi guys is this too long/confusing? : Although Prester John may have never existed, the legend and stories about his military power, Christianness, and large territorial control nevertheless diffused across Christendom as it gave the Christians hope and a sense of geographical justice–an optimistic reminder that God will reward His “chosen people '' with a promised land.?

tough galleon
#

christianity instead of christendom (never heard of that before) perhaps? Typically one would say "diffuse into" but I think 'diffused across' is fine here. I'm not a native though.

#
  1. You wrote "...; Therefore, how good a piece of art is in the eye of the beholder". This should have been is is. No I don't mean ISIS 🏴 I promise. The first is belongs to "how good a piece of art is" the second belongs to "is in the eye of the beholder". Also, a small thing that "professionals" might rant about: Typically, you're not supposed to capitalize a word after a semicolon (;). Personally though I don't care and I think grammatical rules should allow for creative freedom.
  2. More on a semantic note: You wrote "then one can call it "bad"" moments before stating that there "...is no such thing as "good" or "bad" art". It would have been more clear that you were merely explaining a method of rating artwork in that sentence had you said "then one **may **call it "bad""
viscid gazelle
#

I'd say inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, we can easily cheat people with our outer appearance but not with our inner beauty and at the same time in this modern world outer appearance is also important. So in my pov both inner and outer beauty are important but inner beauty is more important

reef pulsar
#

hello could u say me if those questions make sense or not ?

# 
how many cylinders descend into the ground under the tower ?
how heavy is the concrete of the foundation ?
how many wings does the burj khalifa have ?
where are localised the air-conditioned refuge areas ?
how much gallons of condensation are collected each year ?
How fast does the elevator go/travel ?
how many time does it take to clean the whole glasses of the tower ?
How heavy is the amount of ice needed to cool the tower every day ?
How deep are the cylinders of the foundation ?```
hearty snow
#

theres no space before question marks btw

fair summit
#

The Commonwealth culture is really varied and it support the influence of the United Kingdom through a soft power overseas. Indeed, the association of 56 countries have allowed certain cultures such as African or Indian to spread within the Commonwealth members. We can say that this international organisation has a cultural influence through the world thanks to the relationships and the cultural exchanges: the Commonwealth promotes the culture of its members. The perfect example is India, a Commonwealth member. The Indian gastronomy is spreading all over the world. For example, it’s easy to order Dhal, Samosas or Tikka Masala in London. This phenomenon is similar with the Nigerian food or more generally with the African food. Otherwise, if the Commonwealth culture is shining through the world, it’s thanks to the diversity of its monuments. We can site the Sidney Opera House in Australia which represents the modernity of theatre and orchestra. The Taj Mahal, an Islamic monument in India, shows the diversity of cultures in Commonwealth. This monument shows even if the countries haven’t the same religion that they can unite around a common project which makes our world better. Finally, I can’t talk about the monuments of the Commonwealth without mentioning London. One of the beautiful cities in the world. Big Ben, Tower of London, Buckingham Palace and more contribute to the reputation of the city. King Charles III will be crowned in Westminster Abbey in 2023. This figure of royalty is very important for the members because he federates the different nations and reinforces the links between them. Hi can anyone help me for correcting some mistakes pls?

tawny lynx
#

In “The Scarlet Ibis” by James Hurst, the primary way Brother treats Doodle is with cruelty. For example, when Brother takes Doodle to see his coffin, Brother says, “‘before I’ll help you down from the loft, you're going to have to touch [the coffin]’” (2). Brother takes advantage of Doodle’s crippled state to manipulate him. By forcing Doodle to touch his coffin, Brother shows how the family had once given hope for Doodle’s survival, devastating Doodle and triggering a panic attack. Moreover, after an intensive training session, a storm strikes; Doodle is unable to keep up with Brother and pleads for Brother’s help, but “that streak of cruelty within [Brother] awakened, I ran as fast as I could, leaving Doodle far behind with a wall of rain dividing us” (6). “That streak of cruelty” signifies that Brother is so disappointed by Doodle’s failure that he strives to be cruel. if Brother treated Doodle with more love and been a better brother, He would not have left his sibling behind. Although Brother may still be a child, it is not an excuse for his cruel actions towards Doodle.

dusky bough
#

I think if you rephrase the first sentence to 'Brother primarily treats Doodle with cruelty'

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after 'for example' i think there should be a semicolon

#

i think one set of quotation marks are enough

#

maybe rephrase "Brother shows how the family had once given hope for Doodle’s survival, devastating Doodle and triggering a panic attack." to something like "Brother reminds Doodle of how the family once had given him hope to survive, devastated; Doodle feels like he is having a panic attack"

tawny lynx
dusky bough
#

its ok to use double quotation marks

tawny lynx
#

ok

#

why should there be a semi color?

jaunty hull
# fair summit `The Commonwealth culture is really varied and it support the influence of the U...

The Commonwealth culture is really varied and supports the influence of the United Kingdom through a soft power overseas. Indeed, the association of 56 countries have allowed certain cultures such as African or Indian to spread within the Commonwealth members. We can say that this international organisation has cultural influence throughout the world thanks to the relationships it has built and the cultural exchanges that were made. The perfect example of this is India, a Commonwealth member. Indian cuisine is spreading all over the world. For example, it’s easy to order Dhal, Samosas or Tikka Masala in London. This phenomenon is also seen with Nigerian food and more generally with African food. Otherwise, if the Commonwealth culture is shining through the world, it’s thanks to the diversity of its monuments. For example, we can site the Sidney Opera House in Australia which represents the modernity of theatre and orchestra or the Taj Mahal, an Islamic monument in India. This monument shows even if the countries don’t have the same religions that they can unite around a common project which makes our world better. Finally, I can’t talk about the monuments of the Commonwealth without mentioning the city of London. One of the most beautiful cities in the world. This city is filled with several monuments such as: Big Ben, The Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, and more contribute to the reputation of the city. These several examples truly show the diversity of cultures within the Commonwealth. King Charles III will be crowned in Westminster Abbey in 2023. This figure of royalty is very important for the members because he federates the different nations and reinforces the links between them.

#

You need to replace the “otherwise” part you have in there as it is a poor transition word. Also the part about the king doesn’t fit and is a bit out of place. Also this isn’t perfect it’s just some quick adjustments

lapis palm
#

👍cat_cry

dusky bough
#

but thats just what i would do

tawny lynx
#

oh ok

dusky bough
#

also about the quotation mark thing

#

you can use one or two

tawny lynx
#

are they in present tense?

tawny lynx
dusky bough
#

in this context both is acceptable

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as you can be directly quoting brother

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or the book

tawny lynx
#

ok

ember plover
#

Hello is this sentence correct? "How long does usually it take?"

hearty snow
dusky bough
#

say "how long does it usually take"

#

just more natural

ember plover
#

Ok thanks

grizzled moth
#
  • I am going to study physics; I love the subject.
  • I bought a new smartphone; it was very expensive.
  • She thinks it’s a mouse; I think it’s a rat.
  • I won a lot of prize money; I am going to spend it on books.
  • Why is punctuation so hard; I hate it so much.
  • I need to buy butter and ketchup; a hammer, some nails and a plier; and chicken.
  • I can’t understand how to use semi-colons in lists; someone help me.
    PROOFREAD THESE SENTENCES FOR ME PLEASE!!!
dusky bough
#

I need to buy butter and ketchup; a hammer, some nails and a plier; and chicken.

#

is incorrect

#

I assume the assignment is about semicolons

#

the rest is fine

#

but there are some places where a semicolon is superflous

#

i think "I need to buy butter and ketchup for cooking; a hammer, pliers and some nails for building; and a chicken."

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since at the moment the shopping list could just be written as a list

#

I liked the art work as it is imaginative and clever. The painting can be described as perspicacious and familiar; it reminds me of modern art displays with eccentric presentations which I find rather amusing.

Color
The red book stands out in an otherwise subdued palette. The dominant color is brown and bluish gray. The painting is mostly composed of tertiary colors where the emphasis contrasts with the dull background. Orange-gold is the least used color; it is mainly used for the detail on the face. The color has been blended to allow more detail on the painting.

#

can you review this

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it is for some art history thing

fair summit
grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

oh its a typo

#

thanks for pointing it out

grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

this is the work btw

unknown.png
grizzled moth
grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

there are more sections

grizzled moth
#

All the colours seem like different shades of brown to me except the background consisting of the wall and curtain

dusky bough
#

i think its just how the photograph was taken

#

the reference image i got is slightly more saturated

grizzled moth
#

Perhaps you can send the rest of the "art history thing"

#

You can post it here or dm it to me

dusky bough
#

Personal response

I like the work because the vibrancy of the colors allows it to stand out from other traditional vanitas paintings which usually utilize a darker palette. The painting invokes unsettling emotions and is visually noisy, emphasizing the theme of mortality and death. I would describe the painting as provocative; the composition is reminiscent of theme parks or a circus with the bright colors and some of the items in the painting.

Formal Analysis

Colors
The color palette in the painting is bright and saturated which contrasts the dark nature of a vanitas with the dominant color being red. The color palette mostly consists of primary colors: red, yellow and blue; those colors have been mixed to allow for a more diverse palette. Dark green is the least used color, and it blends with the background. The blue fabric is only present on the right of the painting. Boundaries are defined by different colors, lighting and outlines. The boundaries are sharp and clear, but the outlines are more blurred in darker areas.

Tones and contrast
The source of light positioned above the skull is slightly tilted away from the viewer, the shadow appears slightly in front of the object. The candle also acts as a source of light, casting shadows onto objects. The forms in the painting appear 3 dimensional and are realistically modeled, the realism is compounded by the accurate use of values. There is little tonal contrast and the variation of values is done smoothly although the bottom left part of the painting is visibly darker.

#

this is a different piece of art by the way

grizzled moth
grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

Hmm

#

I'll double check

grizzled moth
grizzled moth
#

Line 2 of tones and contrast: It will be a comma, not a semicolon

#

I am not qualified enough to find any more mistakes. You have used the punctuation marks very aggressively, and I am unsure whether they are used correctly or not.

dusky bough
#

Thanks a lot

#

I put the rest through quillbot and the punctuation seems fine

grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

Oh right I forgot

#

The actual image I got has more vibrant colors

grizzled moth
#

and unsettling

dusky bough
#

It's a vanitas

grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

A style of painting I can best summarize with the phrase memento mori

grizzled moth
dusky bough
#

Remember that we die

grizzled moth
severe cosmos
# 
It is the year 1890. It was 12 a.m. at the Duke's residence. David is the name of the Duke. He had many enemies as a duke, but he feels no risk since he is protected by the king. This is the Duke Killer's narrative. Horses may be heard as they approach a brilliantly illuminated home in a broad open space. A corn field is located to the side of the home. The horses are on the left. David enters the home. As the door closes behind him, you can hear a loud creek. The butler greets him and introduces himself as Mark. "Welcome back," Mark says. How may I help you on this rainy day? Should I go fetch you some tea? David declines, stating that "No, I'm not available tonight. I have some unfinished business that has to be completed before next week. " Certainly, my lord, but is there anything more I can do for you?" Well, there it is. Could you make sure supper is ready? ", replies David. Mark then adds, "Yes, my lord, but don't you think it's a little late for dinner?" David claims that I cannot work when hungry. In response, Mark responds, "I'll start preparing right now.

how is the english in my story preview

safe rose
#

Also the part when it says replies David, it’s a little out of place, I suggest you change it to David replied

#

Theres more of that going on eg Mark says and David declines your whole text is in past tense, so do try to keep that consistent

grizzled moth
heady nova
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Anyone can help me with my essay??..my online tutoring not available today...but my essay is due tonight...haha

safe rose
heady nova
hard nymph
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Hello. I just want to make sure if my grammar is correct. Please help me.

She loves reading. It doesn't matter if the book is full of pictures or full of words. She's a voracious reader, as is typical. She loves anime, k-drama, period movies or series, and documentaries. She likes books and movies that will blow her mind. She spends a lot of free time exploring various random topics that pique her interest.

She had never considered taking a BS Psychology course. She really wants to pursue a BS in Biology or a BA in Multimedia because she has always been interested in the arts, but things don't always go as planned.
My older sister encourages me to enroll in KLD and take a BS Psychology course since it will be beneficial for me to know myself more. One of my friends, who's also a BS Psychology freshman, said that he will take this course because he doesn't have the money to consult a psychiatrist, so he'll be his own psychiatrist instead.

Though she's a Catholic, she's not that religious. She never goes to church but respects every religion.
I do acknowledge every person's beliefs. Whether they believe in the existence of God or not. Whether they believe in science or religion, it doesn't matter. I really don't care as long as they respect someone whose beliefs are different from theirs. For me, I believe that God does exist and is always guiding us, and I also believe in science. After all, both science and religion provide justification for the existence of life and the universe.
Well, l "the precision of the universe at least makes it logical to conclude there's a creator."

this is not an essay. this is my script for a video that I need to submit this week.

sharp zinc
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This is a writing essay. This essay does not represent me or what I intent to spread.
Can anyone judge and edit my essay?

https://pastebin.com/CQWsBY4U

safe rose
safe rose
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Don’t start your sentence with “And”

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And also, it’s colloquial to write (and obviously)

sharp zinc
teal pendant
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anyone want to give my essat a quick read

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It's a descriptive essay so first person is allowed.

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you don't need to go in depth, just a proofread is good

safe rose
heady nova
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Hi everyone 🙂 In few weeks i'm going to Vancouver which is a region of Canada and i would like to know if you could corrected my dialog below Thanks a lot
Hey ! Is it been a long time are you staying in this hostel ?
Yes quite a long time , few weeks ago now, i don’t have much choice for the moment , i’m looking to buy a car before hitting the road , can’t wait to discover this beautiful country (Canada)
Sound , greats , how about you ?
For the time being, i don’t have plan yet , however , i start gathered some information about different area to visit in Canada.
That’s great, i would recommend you an area called Yukon, it’s a wilderness if you like the nature and the wildlife, that’s the place to be and even during the winter you could breed some sled dog .

final scroll
# heady nova Hi everyone 🙂 In few weeks i'm going to Vancouver which is a region of Canada a...

According to me thare are some point it didnt make any sense to me..I presented what i think is right..Nad the last line--i dont know what you are wanting to say

Hey ! Has it been a long time since you are staying in this hostel ?
Yes quite a long time , few weeks ago, i didn’t have much choice for the moment , i was looking to buy a car before hitting the road , couldn’t wait to discover this beautiful country (Canada)
Sounds great. Do you have any plans regarding what you are going to do?
For the time being, i don’t have plan yet , however , i started gathering some information about different area to visit in Canada.

marsh wing
# heady nova Hi everyone 🙂 In few weeks i'm going to Vancouver which is a region of Canada a...

Hi everyone(. for neutral, addressing tone.) & (! for excited tone) 🙂 In a few weeks I’m going to Vancouver, a city in Canada (it’s a city in British Columbia, a province in Canada) and I would like to know if you could correct my dialogue below. Thanks a lot.
(I didn’t know that I wasn’t to correct this part but anyways.)
Hey! Has it been a long time since you arrived/started staying at this hostel?
Yes, it has been quite a long time, almost a few weeks now/as I arrived a few weeks ago, and I don’t have many choices/(things to do) at the moment. (Note: avoid run on sentences. 2-3 commas maximum per sentence unless listing things.) I’m looking to buy a car before hitting the road, (I) can’t wait to discover this beautiful country.
(Canada)
Sounds great, how about you?
For the time being? I don’t have a plan yet. However, I started gathering some information about different areas to visit in Canada/However, I gathered some information about different areas to visit in Canada.
That’s great! I would recommend you to visit a province/area called Yukon, it’s very centered around the wilderness and the place to be if you like nature and wildlife. You can even breed sled dogs during the winter.

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It’s a bit hard to understand, I know.

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Ping me if you have more questions/need me to explain something.

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And it’s not exactly perfect as I didn’t understand your wording at times.

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😅

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Gave it my best shot.

heady nova
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Thanks a lot for your feedback , it's really kind 😄

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Every day , i'm try writing down in my notebook a discuss about a specific topic that i could use in Canada , maybe we can discuss about an agreement 😄

lost viper
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Hello guys, english is a third language for me and I was having some trouble writing my essay. Im in grade 10 and were currently writing a comparative essay, comparing a text, and a film, both being centred about WWII and anti-semitism. For anyone curious, the text is "The boy in Stripped Pyjamas" and "The book Thief. What do I need to change about this body paragraph

Both Bruno and Liesel are met with challenges as a result of WWII, which they respond to these issues with innocence and naivety. This leads Bruno to innocently walk to his death, contrary to Liesel. In the book, Bruno crawls down the fence and wears ‘stripped pyjamas’, which at the time, was an artificial branding used to denote Jews from everyone else. Shmuel and Bruno “search for pa” as they walked around the camp. “A long room that was surprisingly warm” awaited them as they blindly walked into their death, which Bruno assumed had something to do with “keeping the rain outside”. His effort in changing the circumstances he faced was valiant, but his naivety and lack of knowledge ultimately resulted in his demise in the gas chambers. Contrasting this, Liesel develops a love for reading and reading aloud as she naively ‘borrows books, which becomes a form of protection to shield herself and others. This is demonstrated during the air-raid bombing. Liesel uses storytelling in order to comfort the people around her during the air-raid bombings. Tho innocent and naive at heart, Liesel was able to relieve everyone's stress, highlighting the power of her words. Overall, both texts demonstrate how Liesel and Bruno respond to issues with an innocent and naive mind.

safe rose
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Omg the film/book was so sad

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😭

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For boy in stripped pjs

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Also like any general thing

safe rose
lost viper
safe rose
lost viper
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?

lost viper
safe rose
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I’ll bold it

lost viper
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thank u

safe rose
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Hello guys, english is a third language for me and I was having some trouble writing my essay. Im in grade 10 and were currently writing a comparative essay, comparing a text, and a film, both being centred about WWII and anti-semitism. For anyone curious, the text is "The boy in Stripped Pyjamas" and "The book Thief. What do I need to change about this body paragraph

Both Bruno and Liesel are met with challenges as a result of WWII, which they respond to these issues with innocence and naivety. This leads Bruno to innocently walk to his death, contrary to Liesel (expand here). In the book, Bruno crawls down the fence and wears ‘stripped pyjamas’, which at the time, was an artificial branding used to denote Jews from everyone else. Shmuel and Bruno “search for pa” (is this a quote? Specify) as they walked around the camp. “A long room that was surprisingly warm” awaited them as they blindly walked into their death, which Bruno assumed had something to do with “keeping the rain outside”. His effort in changing the circumstances he faced was valiant, but his naivety and lack of knowledge ultimately resulted in his demise in the gas chambers. Contrasting this, Liesel develops a love for reading and reading aloud as she naively ‘borrows books, which becomes a form of protection to shield herself and others. This is demonstrated during the air-raid bombing (be more specific) . Liesel uses storytelling in order to comfort the people around her during the air-raid bombings (be more specific). Tho innocent and naive at heart, Liesel was able to relieve everyone's stress, highlighting the power of her words. Overall, both texts demonstrate how Liesel and Bruno respond to issues with an innocent and naive mind.

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The main issue is that you’re re-telling the story

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Your essay is supposed to be more analytical

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Have a few more quotes

heady nova
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Hi everyone. I am in grade 11 and we have a task to write an essay about a self-chosen topic. I chose to talk about how African Americans were treated in the US, and I am focusing on slavery, the civil war and segregation laws. I wrote the introduction and the first paragraph and want any advices you guys have for me: We all have thought about the mistreatment of African Americans when we think about USA’s past throughout the history. However, most of us usually tend to forget how African Americans were mistreated. When you take a closer examination on the beginning of the mistreatment of African Americans, you certainly think of slavery. But are there more essential events throughout USA’s past that are necessary to know how African Americans were mistreated? In this informative essay, I will inform you about some crucial events that shows the mistreatment of African Americans such as slavery, the civil war and segregation laws.

Firstly, the first thought that crosses people’s minds when they hear about the USA’s past is slavery. Slavery was a period that began in 1617 and was abolished after the civil war in 1865. The meaning of slavery is when one human is owned by another. Now you might wonder why slavery was allowed. Slaves were seen as properties and not as human beings; therefore, it was seen as something entirely ordinary to have at that period. “In 1790, a thousand tons of cotton were produced every year in the south. By 1860, it was a million tons. In the same period, 500,000 slaves grew to 4 million” (Zinn 1980: 171). This example illustrates the fast and enormous growth of slavery and how profitable it was for the United States’

marsh wing
# 
We all have thought about the mistreatment of African Americans before when we think about USA's history. However, most of us usually tend to forget how they were mistreated. When you take a closer look at the beginning of their mistreatment, slavery definitely comes to mind. But there are more essential events throughout the United State's past that are necessary to know before we dive straight into their abuse. In this informative essay, I will inform you about some crucial events that demonstrates such mistreatment of African Amercians such as slavery, the civil war and segregation laws.

Firstly, the one of the first thoughts that crosses people's minds when they hear about the USA's past is slavery. Slavery in America first began in 1617 (according to Google it was 1619 idk bro) and was abolished after the American Civil War ended in 1865. The definition of slavery is the condition in which one human is being owned by another. Now you might wonder why slavery was even allowed in the first place. Slaves were and are seen as properties or tools and not as human beings; therefore seen as something entirely ordinary to have at that period.  “In 1790, a thousand tons of cotton were produced every year in the south. By 1860, it was a million tons. In the same period, 500,000 slaves grew to 4 million” (Zinn 1980: 171). This example illustrates the fast and enormous growth of slavery and how profitable it was for the United States. Albeit modern slavery such as forced labour or marriage still exists today, it is not nearly as bad as 150 years ago.```
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feel free to change it around/adapt this 😁

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orrrrrrr dm me if you want more proofreading done lol

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your grammar is a bit off in my opinion

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it just seems kinda cluttered idk

quick coral
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Hi guys.
Could someone check my writing please. Any mistakes?

Are we going to conduct an actual experiment or we just discuss and learn what steps should be taken to complete a case study? That is to say, It will be challenging to find a proper dataset for data manipulation and visualization. I would rather choose another topic that’s easier to explore and find the relevant dataset for an experiment.

warped scaffold
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feel free to change my ideas and anything
thanks in advance. Please help me fix my writing.
Can anyone help me proofread my writing, please? Any mistakes?

Prompt:
You write an advice column for Young magazine and you have received the following letter:
“I’ve been considering about what to do in the future. I’m passionate about animals and I’ve always desired to be a vet. But when I talked to my parents about it, the first thing they said was “No”. I feel really frustrated. What should I do?” – James, 17 years old.

Write a letter of advice.

Dear James,

How’re you getting on? Thanks for your letter sharing with me your frustration about your dream of becoming a vet. 10 years ago, I stumbled across similar difficulties when I told my parents I would like to become a writer – they were extremely unsupportive and wanted me to become a doctor instead. Hence, I can certainly understand your trepidation and I hope I can offer you some pointers.

I know you must be passionate about animals, but ask yourself a question: do I really understand about the duties and responsibilities of a vet? Please don’t find this offensive – I’ve witnessed a lot of people around me who love animals and want to become a vet like you, but the majority of them gave up due to various reasons. Some realised they couldn’t handle the wounds of animals properly as they’re afraid of blood; some realised facing sick animals every day intolerable; some realized they couldn’t withstand euthanising animals which are too ill to be treated. Guess what? Some of these people who gave up even completed half of their Veterinarian degree overseas! Remember [Imperative], being enthusiastic about animals doesn’t mean you’re suitable for the role as a vet. I hope you won’t make a regrettable decision and lavish your time on studying something you don’t genuinely like, and I’m sure your parents are thinking in the same way.

(too long part 1)

warped scaffold
# warped scaffold feel free to change my ideas and anything thanks in advance. Please help me fix ...

second part

If you’re still confident that you still want to become a vet after understanding its duties – that’s fantastic! You’ve at least made sure you’re not impulsive in pursuing your dream. What’s the next step? Make sure you can persuade your parents by showing them you’re a pragmatic person. Don’t show your determination by words, show them by action. Try to excel in prerequisite subjects like Chemistry and Biology to demonstrate to them you’re capable of learning more advanced concepts in the future. Mate, you may also volunteer at organizations like Rescue Centre for Abandoned Pets and get in touch with ill pets on a regular basis. If you want to go further, you may even try to purchase some Veterinarian textbooks or enrol in online Veterinarian courses. Believe me [Parenthetical], all these can show to your parents you’re serious about your dream and I’m sure they’d be impressed by all the efforts you’ve made.

Last but not the least, you should communicate with your parents openly and have a genuine talk with them. Remember to stay calm and polite when you attempt to persuade your parents. You may find this unpleasant to hear – I believe your parents don’t intend to object you just because they want to force you to do something you dislike. Who have taken care of you since you were a baby? Who have strived to give the best to you? Sweetie [Hypocrisy], I’m sure they love you and have sacrificed a lot for you. If you follow all the steps I mentioned above, I’m sure they’d understand your passion and they’ll probably be less opposed to your choice or might even become supportive! If you’re determined to become a vet, don’t [Imperative] let your parents’ objection be a hurdle. Be patient and one day they’ll respect your choice and wish.

(still too long)

warped scaffold
safe rose
# quick coral Hi guys. Could someone check my writing please. Any mistakes? Are we going to c...

Hi guys.
Could someone check my writing please. Any mistakes?

Are we going to conduct an actual experiment or we just discuss and learn what steps should be taken to complete a case study? (No double spacing) That is to say, It it will be challenging to find a proper dataset for data manipulation and visualization. I would rather choose another topic that’s easier to explore and find the relevant dataset for an experiment.

quick coral
plain warren
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Hey guys can anyone please check my paragraph, need to send it before midnight
As a son whose father works from 7 am to 5 pm while his mother stays at home, I believe is important to have a balance between professional and family life. You want to have the opportunity to educate, to be involved in your children’s lives and shape their path, and the opportunity to generate income to provide your children an amazing education, healthy and delicious food, a solid roof, etc. I feel incredibly lucky because my parents have decided that one should stay at home to be with the kids while the other should generate income to have a quality of life. Sadly, I have seen some videos in which some children live in 3 kinds of scenarios, the first scenario is a child who lives in a huge house, expensive cars and outfits using an expensive phone, however they behave extremely arrogant, they are throwing parties and doing stupid things which are typically a behavior of a spoiled child whose parents are not always or not involved in their children’s life. Another one could be that the children hang out with shady people, and toxic people and they do illegal activities. Finally, the last scenario is a family that lives in poor conditions, with a roof made of plastic bags, no food, sleeping on mattresses, and their families are happy, but they dream of having stuff that a person with a normal income has. So, it is fine if you have a job and a family but is extremely important that you know how to balance them. I believe that slaughter might agree with my statement. She states that is important that a parent should be involved in their children’s lives, and that they should not end on one of those 3 scenarios that a parent doesn’t want to end with. Also, they believe that their parent should be with their children as much as they can to have beautiful memories before they leave for college, move out or have a family.

plain warren
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Seriously I need help

plain warren
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Nevermind they moved it for monday

warped scaffold
supple vessel
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@dense pollen Here z_bunsparkle

dense pollen
safe rose
plain warren
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Just a plain paragraph

safe rose
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That part is confusing

plain warren
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Slaughter is the last name of an author

safe rose
safe rose
# plain warren Hey guys can anyone please check my paragraph, need to send it before midnight ...

-> Your sentences are correct, however some of them are too long. Some long ass sentences are better off cut into 2

-> If you’re going to mention an author, please specify. “I believe that one of the authors named Slaughter might agree with my statement” (unless if this is a topic mentioning the author, then it is unnecessary)

-> “Throwing parties and doing stupid things” - Emphasise on that. I’m not particularly sure what your criteria is, but I recommend you to reword “Stupid things.”

plain warren
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Understood, thanks

heady nova
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• ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY (about whether or not graphic novel is better than a normal story without pictures so basically how pictures can help the reader)

• Write a clear THESIS/CLAIM, provide evidence or examples to prove your point, add details and descriptions to persuade your readers.

• Rubric:

  • Apply the different appeals and/or rhetorical devices to persuade your readers.
  • Introduction grabs the reader's attention.
  • Thesis presents issues and the writer's point of view. (Debatable/Argumentative)
  • Reasons are in order of importance.
  • Evidence supports each reason for the opinion and reflects a consistent point of view.
  • Conventions: Spelling, capitalization, punctuation, sentence structure and grammar.
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‎‎
‎
‎If you had the choice between a poem or its graphic portrayal which would you choose? Although the majority of people believe that graphic novels are a condensed version of a story primarily geared for children, they almost always provide a more pleasant reading experience. Despite the story’s original form being quite detailed, the action isn’t depicted nearly as effectively as it is in the graphic novel.

To begin with, the utilization of visual imagery in a graphic novel gives readers a much inclusive perspective of how the story took place. When confronted with visuals, people often preserve deeper thoughts. This has been backed up by a study that states, individuals learn better when several senses are stimulated, creating deeper and richer memories of events.

The graphic novel is also ideal for readers who struggle with low-level language. Because the story was written in old English, translations can seem confusing and complicated for inexperienced readers, which can hinder their experience. Furthermore, the epic is written in the form of a poem, which even many native English speakers occasionally find frustrating. The inclusion of visuals in the graphic can aid readers in connecting words and phrases to their meaning based on what the images portray.

On the other hand, some people argue that the graphic novel does not leave much room for imagination since it restricts the reader’s perspective on the characters to a single point of view. This would be the case if the graphic novel didn’t not vividly depict the character’s emotions. (For example, Beowulf’s senior form is not nearly as evident in the epic tale as it is in the graphic novel.) Moreover, the emotions displayed in the graphic novel leave a lot up to the interpretation of the reader.

(I still didn’t add the conclusion)

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‎
please note also I'm grade 12 and this is for a midterm exam so it has to be what is expected from a grade 12 student and also should be well written

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@safe rose @tough galleon or anyone else

tough galleon
heady nova
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With the above essay

tough galleon
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I'm busy today and I'll work tomorrow so I won't have time

safe rose
ocean abyss
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So... I have to write an article (in english) for my history class and it would be cool if someone could proofread it before I print it and submit it (the pic is what I wrote btw)

unknown.png
heady nova
heady nova
safe rose
dapper smelt
safe rose
safe rose
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You’re also lacking quite a far amount of evidence as well in your statements

dapper smelt
safe rose
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@dapper smelt I did not exactly cover all the techniques but these are the ones I picked out

IMG_4646.jpg
safe rose
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Some general tips to improve your writing:

Work a little on punctuation placement. Although your sentences make sense, I added 1 or 2 suggestions to make your sentences flow a little better as written on the photo(and I left some for you to fix on your own when you edit). Additionally, use quotations around your use of onomatopoeia.

Tense. Your tense switches from past to present and back and fourth from time to time, try to write consistently in 1 tense.

Show not tell. One of the greatest ways to improve your writing. Your language is very descriptive, but you provide more “telling” than “showing.”

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Otherwise, apart from that shit I guess just continue expanding your ideas

ocean abyss
dapper smelt
potent abyss
dapper smelt
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This is so helpful, thank you 😄!

safe rose
shrewd spoke
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I feel like your losing some clarity by going for a lot of dependent clauses

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I can give feedback later today if you want

potent abyss
ocean abyss
safe rose
heady nova
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I someone can help me to translate or at least corrected my mistake please

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Thanks you

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How long have you this car ? Oh, it’s been a long time now , i mainly use for city driving and sometimes going out in the week end .
Interesting, at leat the car was not strain, that’s a great news !
Apart from that, do you car required a lot of repairs cause i have noticed some scratch and knock ?
Not really, but i got an accident that required to fix the timing belt .
This is not reassuring but i still fixed the brake pads, injectors and treat the rust againt winter weather and i put some special winter tyre.

open axle
# heady nova How long have you this car ? Oh, it’s been a long time now , i mainly use for ci...

I will try my best (I cannot speak regarding the punctuation though and the words in brackets are optional)
How long have you had this car (for) ? Oh, it’s been a long time now , i mainly use it for city driving and sometimes going out at the weekend .
Interesting, at least the car was not strained , that’s great news !
Apart from that, does your car require a lot of repairs cause i have noticed some scratches and knocks (on it) ?
Not really, but i got (into) an accident that required to fix the timing belt .
This is not reassuring but i still fixed the brake pads, injectors and treated the rust againt winter weather and i put on some special winter tire/s.

heady nova
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Thansk a lot Neon you help me so much 😄

heady nova
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Hi everyone, i need your help because each day i'm learjing 4 new words and trying to incorporate them into a dialog , is it possible to corrected my mistake please ? Thanks you

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This summer, i went to Islande to do something that i had never done before.

I wish join the north of the island to to the south by foot in full autonomy for food on 20 days , that would enable me to live childhood dream. but It does not happen as planned.
And suddenly , after walking 4 days into the black volcanic desert , i was trap into a crazy storm for a full day without the possibility to shlelter me, so i layed into my sleeping bag and i felt really wound up, but i had a GPS satellite tracking so I was able to call the rescue team and it relieved me.*
After 3 days , the rescue team drop me off to the first shelter it was 15/20km from where i was.
Next day, i keep going but in my head i was not motivated anymore , that push me to give up because i wan’t ready psychologically.
I made a lot of mistake such as not planned day off in case of bad weather or any kind of problem.
He tooks me a while to get over that because it was a goal/tips that means a lot for me

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( I have highlighted in bold the words I want to keep into my dialog ) 😄

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Thanks youu

brisk tendon
# heady nova Hi everyone, i need your help because each day i'm learjing 4 new words and try...

@heady nova
(I wish (to) join the north of the island to to the south by foot in full autonomy for food (for) 20 days, (which) would enable me to live (my) childhood dream.)
rephrase if possible.

but It does not happen as planned. Suddenly, after walking 4 days into the black volcanic desert, (I) was (trapped) (in) a crazy storm for a full day without (anything to) (shelter) me, so (I) (lay) (in) my sleeping bag and (I) felt (really) wound up, but (I) had a GPS satellite tracking so I was able to call the rescue team and it relieved me.* After (three) days, the rescue team drop me off (at) the first shelter (which) was 15/20km~~ from where (I) was. (On the)next day, (I) keep going but (deep within,) (I) was not motivated anymore, which pushed me to give up because (I) (wasn’t) ready psychologically. I made a lot of (mistakes) such as not planning my day off in case of bad weather or any kind of problem. (It) took me a while to get over that because it was a (goal/tips???? )> exciting ?? challenging ?? eventful ??? that (meant) a lot to me.

|| overall ideas are organized, well-done. ⭐ ||

heady nova
crude flame
heady nova
tough galleon
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Hi, me and @heady nova need some ideas for an essay we're (reads I xD) are/am authoring. It's supposed to be an argumentative essay and explain why taking a stand is better than winning (or the other way around). The text still requires more ideas to argue in favor of the thesis (being that taking a stand is better than winning) EDIT: It's mostly done!

tough galleon
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Why taking a stand matters more than winning

"But I either have to obey the laws of the land or the laws of Allah. I have nothing to lose by standing up for my beliefs. So I’ll go to jail. "
In 1967 world famous boxer Muhammad Ali refused the military draft in protest of the Vietnam war. In doing so, he risked his career to usher in the beginning of the end for US military operations in the country. His valiant efforts helped save many lives and drive cultural change in America, which is why taking a stand matters more than winning.

By defying expectations and not competing one may reorient the attention associated with the event towards raising awareness – or funds for one's favorite enterprise. This might be more effective at capturing the audience's attention than winning the competition, especially if one is a top contender. Recently, chess champion Magnus Carlsen caused a huge turmoil by resigning a match against a much lower rated opponent to accuse him of cheating, demonstrating just how effective losing on purpose can be.

Refusing to win or partake in a competition and standing up for one's convictions can connect like-minded individuals to ameliorate their feelings of alienation and give them someone to look up to. This might help others stand up for what is in their best interest where they previously saw no opportunity to. The current investigation into sexual abuse in the American women's soccer system showcases how a few women speaking up causes a cascading effect where others are encouraged to do the same.

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Unfortunately, freedom of expression can be seen as infringed upon for those who lack the resources to support themselves should they lose their income. For many, it is impractical to risk their career for this very reason. This is why it is all the more important for those that do have the resources to not grow too fond of them and step up. In most situations, taking a stand and winning are not at odds with each other; but when politics or societal norms are at odds with one's conscience, taking a stand and voicing that which only few dare to say publicly can trigger long sought after change and benefit society as a whole. Taking a stand may incur risks; but not doing so carries the risk of societal – or other – tensions building up and erupting violently. The struggle of the likes of Muhammad Ali and those who continued his legacy have put African Americans in a much better position, notwithstanding the many difficulties they still face; but it shows that brave individuals can actuate societal change through daring actions.

In conclusion, brave individuals who value taking a stand over personal gains are just as essential to society as a code of law or freedom of speech. For this reason, winning is secondary.

wild panther
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The human psyche is susceptible to bitter emotions that could cause self destruction. These bitter emotions are caused by outside forces or insecurities deep within. William Shakespeare beautifully displays how literature is formed by the exploration of the intensity of human conflict through his character Othello. In this essay I will discuss how a man full of luster and passion is transformed into a living embodiment of jealousy and wrath caused by the tampering of his human psyche.

Othello’s jealousy is not created from within but is brought out from his own past insecurities by Iago’s manipulations. Iago calls jealousy a ‘green-eyed monster” and a “plague” which he describes as an entity that infects others. This gives the audience crucial information about Iago: Iago is jealous of Othello. Iago’s inner jealousy fuels his ambition to ruin Othello’s relationship by infecting him with jealousy which he does in the play. Monopolizing on Othello’s insecurities as a man of exoticism and singularity, Iago effectively infiltrates into Othello’s psyche. Creating false assumptions in Othello’s mind which forces narrow vision in the situation is one of many ways Iago uses to contaminate Othello’s luster and love for Desdemona. This jealousy placed on Othello is then intensified by both his inner insecurities as a ‘moor’ and Iago’s puppeteerings; Othello’s psychological health deteriorates in Iago’s web of subterfuges. ```
marsh wing
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last I checked Othello was just stupid enough to believe Iago

wild panther
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I agree

safe rose
plain warren
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Can anyone help me with the introduction paragraph?

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The Internet is like real life but better. You can communicate with people in different parts of the world in a matter of seconds, however, the internet offers anonymity and an opportunity to truly express themselves, which leads to the question, Have the internet made us torn for the best or the worse, For that question to be answered we will discuss two articles, which are "Has Coronavirus Made the Internet Better" and “Are We Really as Awful as We Act Online?”

jovial cloak
plain warren
#

Oh wow, I had no idea about that website

marsh wing
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Grammarly bruh

safe rose
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Yeah you need to use more full stops. You can’t have a sentence going over 5 lines

#

That’s way too much

plain warren
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I runned that on grammarly and it said it's fine

safe rose
plain warren
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Nope

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I am poor af

safe rose
#

If you don’t have premium

opal zodiac
#

Hi, can someone try to check my script (for competition). If you can, please chat me. Thank you

heady nova
marsh wing
bleak burrow
#

Hello guys, i would highly appreciate if anyone could take a brief glance at this document i wrote. I would like to improve my phrasing and fix all the grammar mistakes i failed to spot. Where can i upload it?

marsh wing
normal thistle
#

yes i am intrested

heady nova
#

What is this channel about?

main spear
# heady nova What is this channel about?

This channel is meant for sharing your essays, texts, articles or anything related to English that you wish to have reviewed or corrected by other members regarding its structure or grammar

heady nova
#

Oh okay!

plush bronze
#

Ok that's good to hear

soft blade
#

How is my writing?

IMG_3704.jpg
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Am not confident my writing and next week I have to speaking in front of the classroom

marsh wing
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My favourite bottled drink is Gogo-No-Kocha Lemon Tea.
I like it because its taste is not too sweet.
I have bought bottled drinks a countless amount of times.
If I were a great engineer, I would like to create a water dispenser for people to refill their empty bottles by themselves.
With this machine, disposal of plastic bottles will be reduced and people are able to choose the flavour of their water too.
This is because I want to make the drinks taste good (myself).

The word myself is optional.

#

@soft blade

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It's overall good for a beginner, I would recommend reading your sentences over and reading them out loud to make sure that it's gramatically correct. That's one of the best ways to catch small mistakes.

soft blade
marsh wing
heady nova
#

Hello everyone ! I am new here ! I have an essay for tomorrow, is there anyone that could help me to correct my mistakes ✨

#

After watching Amelia Pica’s video, I was very interested by the concept of “chaos” she talks about at the beginning. Indeed, I consider myself as a very disorganized and messy person. I could totally empathize when she said that her studio was not a place that’s looked particularly tidy to the outside person. She also underlined the fact that her studio had its own order: in that chaos, she sees things that she needs to see. My workshop and my work table are always cluttered : there is an amalgam of materials and tools around my artwork. But I love this muddled place because I think it really represents the effervescence of thoughts. It’s reminds of tangled and fugitive ideas that cross the mind. In other words, the mind became just like the space. Sometimes, untidy workshops can instill inspiration: seeing these accumulations of materials and tools can bring up some unique combinations and experimentations.
I also can empathize when she said that, sometimes, the idea is coming in the form of an image and sometimes you’re working on something that you have no idea what’s it going to look like. I like this way of seeing the development of the creative process. Indeed, sometimes our greatest artworks are coming from an instinctive impulse. We should not try to conscientize and theorize everything we create: the letting go of feelings can generate sensitive artworks. This assertion made me think of Orpheus and Eurydice myth. Indeed, according to the philosopher Maurice Blanchot, this myth is
The metaphor of the creative process. Orpheus seems to symbolize the artist and Eurydice refers to his artwork. When Orpheus turns around to see Eurydice, he lost her forever: it could mean that the artist must not try to understand too much his art, he must completely surrender himself to the inspiration (which is not technical mastery). I personally really like this way of thinking that leads to a very instinctive approach of creation.

crimson gale
#

Here on the big Arizon's desert was a little town who was called Meackland. In the Meackland were vey small population only one hundred and fifty peoples was living in this one.
So what story about? What happened in this little town which nobody knew? Okay I'll tell you about this story what happened in Meackland. It was at the Fall, in this time people were relaxing.
They were sitting in the salon, local barman was doing a very good beer. Yeah, after this beer everybody in the salon are starting bout, it was such violence sight. Ohhh, the men would always go out very tired and battered.
And when all are starting fight, in the salon came one stranger. Everybody didn't see him yet, stranger go to the bar counter and start talking with the barman. As it turns out he was the sheriff, who came to this town to kill one person
which in the U.S.A all called the Thunder Killer. Because he was famous as person who did the lightning-fast murders, twenty sheriffs from different states were trying to kill him. And all twenty men in the graves now. After talking with barman
sheriff decided to stay in this town one night ,and then on the next morning go to the Thunder Killer. But Thunder Killer after that, heard this story and decided to kill sheriff today. He didn't afraid him because twenty sheriffs were trying to kill him
and twenty sheriffs he killed. Then he sat on his horse and go to the town, and when he arrived sheriff saw him. And then they agreed to have a duel 1 on 1, they went out each other at forty steps side-by-side. Then started a duel, only one moment last
but Thunder Killer was laying on the ground yet. The duel was end, and winner was the sheriff. After this duel sheriff went out from the town and never come back.
And in a nowadays everybody aren't knowing who was this person.
THE END.
Can you please correct me?

heady nova
#

Here in the big Arizon's desert there was a little town called Meackland. In Meackland, the population was very small, consisting only of one hundred and fifty people.
So what is the story about? What happened in this little town, which nobody knew? Okay, I'll tell you what happened in Meackland. It happened in fall, a time in which people were relaxing.
They were sitting in the salon. The local barman was making very good beer. Yeah, after (drinking?) beer, everybody in the salon were starting about; it was such a violence sight. Ohhh, the men would always go out very tired and battered.
And when everyone had started fighting, one stranger came in the salon. Everybody hadn't seen him yet. The stranger went to the bar counter and started talking with the barman. It turned out he was the sheriff, who came to this town to kill one person, whom in the U.S.A everybody called the Thunder Killer. Because he was known as the person who did the lightning-fast murders, twenty sheriffs from different states had tried to kill him. And all twenty men are in their graves now. After talking with the barman, the sheriff decided to stay in this town for one night, and then go to the Thunder Killer the next morning. But after the Thunder Killer had heard this story, he decided to kill the sheriff that same day. He wasn't afraid of him because, all twenty sheriffs who had tried to top him before, he killed each and every one of them. He sat on his horse and went to town, and when he arrived, the sheriff saw him.

#

They agreed to have a duel. They went out at each other at forty steps side-by-side. (I'm not sure what you want to say here. Did you mean, "they stood forty steps away from each other"?), and the duel started. Only one moment last but Thunder Killer was laying on the ground yet. (Also not sure here, did you mean "only a while had passed but the Thunder Killer was already down"?) The duel came to an end, and the sheriff won. After this duel the sheriff left the town and never came back. Up to this day, nobody knows who he was.
THE END.

#

@crimson gale

marsh wing
#

I literally just capitalized an I

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a designer who codes, a developer who designs, or a gamer with null time to game anymore.

#

what

#

is this

#

it makes sense and cool so okay

crimson gale
heady nova
#

oh yeah, you're right, bout - "a wrestling or boxing match", in this case it should be "were starting a bout"

atomic swift
marsh wing
#

gl on your websites

atomic swift
#

Ty SCWblushHEART SCWblushHEART

heady nova
#

hiii, is there any mistake?

unknown.png
safe rose
#

First sentence on the word reach get rid of ,And, and place a fullstop

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Second paragraph, replace the first comma with a fullstop

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And third paragraph get rid of the second and. Make it a new sentence

dull relic
#

How could I make this sound more smooth as in the transition between sentences

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I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard someone say that your childhood and teenage would be some of the most blissful and carefree years of your life. At first, I merely thought that these were some “morals” or “lessons” or some type of thing that adults frequently told their kids to keep them on the right track. I never really understood what this meant but during adolescence, this sentence would repeatedly find its way into my mind at times for instance, such as while attempting to sleep or while reminiscing about my childhood. I really cherished my childhood and upon entering my teenage I would spend most of my time studying and making friends. Nevertheless, over a few months, I noticed that there were means of communication known as social media which every teenager was now into. After trying it out the form myself, I found it to be very addictive and hard to put down. I noticed that people around me were also glued to their screens, taxing time that they could have used for productivity. I could envision how detrimental this could be to my health and education so I made a critical judgment to delete all of my apps.

#

Discursive writing

dull relic
south lance
# dull relic **I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard someone say that your childhood and teenage ...

I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard someone say that your childhood and teenage [years] would be some of the most blissful and carefree years of your life. At first, I merely thought that these were some “morals” or “lessons” [of] some type of thing that adults frequently told their kids to keep them on the right [path]. I never really understood what this meant but during adolescence, this sentence would repeatedly find its way into my mind at times. Such as while attempting to fall asleep or while reminiscing about my childhood memories. I really [do] [cherish]my childhood, upon entering my teenage I would spend most of my time studying [or] making friends. Nevertheless, over a few months, I noticed that there were means of communication known as social media which every teenager was now [interested in]. After trying it out [social media] form myself, I found it to be very addictive and hard to put [away]. I [also], noticed that [ many] people around me were also glued to their screens, taxing time that they could have used for productivity. [Furthermore], I could envision how detrimental [social media] could be to my[ well being]and education so I made a critical judgment to delete all of my [social media] apps.

#

I would change that there are things I would reword but they are grammatically correct I did not check for punctuation tho so do be weary of that

dull relic
dull relic
#

🙏

tough galleon
jaunty hull
tough galleon
safe rose
tough galleon
vast quiver
#

can someone give me feedback on my introduction for essay about things fall apart by chinua achebe
The Dichotomy of Ambition

Ambition. Is it something you want to do, something you want to achieve, or just somewhere you want to reach? What is the importance of ambition? In Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe, this question is attempted to be answered through the main character – Okonkwo – who aspires to become a great warrior one day and become the leader of the tribe. However, his fear of failure and his constant desire to prove himself results in him making poor choices and eventually his downfall. The ambition which drove him to be the greatest fighter takes him from the heights of success to the lowest of lows; from glory to shame to the point of committing suicide. Things Fall Apart is a book that explores traditional Igbo society and how it dealt with the profound socio-cultural, economic, and political changes brought about by the rise of British colonization. Okonkwo, whose life and death reflect the manner in which these changes undermine the integrity and wholeness of traditional Igbo culture, serves as a primary example of the impact of these changes. The character of Okonkwo is used by Achebe to demonstrate the dual nature of ambition. Okonkwo's ambition is a strength because it allows him to achieve great things and earn the respect of his community. However, one disadvantage of ambition is that it causes delusions. Last but not least, it may cause him to appear haughty and indifferent to others, separating him from his people.

dull relic
vast quiver
dull relic
#

decision sounds better while reading instead of choice

dull relic
#

very technical english

vast quiver
# dull relic downfall of a protagonist

what would the sentence look like then. However, his fear of failure and his constant desire to prove himself results in him making poor choices and eventually becomes his hamartia.

#

this?

dull relic
#

leads to his hamartia

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However, ambitions can cause delusions

#

this sounds a bit better while reading

#

also the transition between second last - last sentence is a bit off

#

try making it smoother

#

otherwise 👍

dull relic
#

How can ambition cause delusions

#

back up your statement

vast quiver
#

However, ambitions caused delusions that masculinity is the only important value. Last but not least, it may cause him to appear haughty and indifferent to others, separating him from his people.

dull relic
vast quiver
#

ok thanks

#

btw

#

how much longer will be available on discord

#

can i ask you for advice on my other paragraphs when i finish them

heady nova
inner cradle
#

The debate is sparked when a person named Mike Jensen posts a comment on Facebook. In his post, he argues that the vaccine is ineffective and is just a "money machine."
"Just a question if your child is vaccinated and another child is not what is the problem then because your child is vaccinated if the crap works then you should have nothing to worry about.... so clearly no it is just a money maker from the drug industry."
Let's take a closer look. First of all the post is not communicatively effective. The first impression is minimal as there are numerous punctuation errors, and at times sentence disruption as some of the words are not put together correctly.
Not only does this make the text difficult to read, but here we also lose confidence in the character. So we are looking at ethos. And ethos, in this case, is low.
But let's look at whether his arguments are at all strong enough to convince on that basis alone.
His first argument uses the classification argument. This type of argument is based on reason; Socrates is a human being, and human beings are mortal. Therefore, Socrates must be mortal.
Here he builds on Christian Kocks' anatomy of argument, or Kocks' three dimensions, which consist of proof, justification and assertion.
In this case, Mike Jensen argues that the pharmaceutical industry is a money machine trying to steal our money. This is his basic argument, and this is what we call the claim. Now we can ask 'why' for the claim, to find the evidence. The problem, however, is that there is no evidence at all. His argument is an empty postulate. So he also lacks logos, his argument makes no logical sense.
First impressions have a great effect. While we should not have prejudices, we all have our cognitive distortions. Already here we have little faith in Mike.

safe rose
inner cradle
#

So we are looking at ethos, and ethos, in this case, is low.

#

?

safe rose
#

Just say “Ethos in this case is low”

#

Actually

#

Lemme reword that

inner cradle
#

And also, does it make sense? Like, not the text, I know it's understandable, but is it academically correct?

safe rose
#

“In this case, Ethos is low”

inner cradle
#

Got it

safe rose
#

Looks fine

inner cradle
#

Sounds good.

inner cradle
#

When we look at Jensen's general arguments, we especially see empty postulates.
"Elif Bayram Orbe so you are willing to risk your child either dying or having lifelong symptoms after a vaccine"
There is still no evidence to support his argument.
When Elif Bayram Orbe, the other party, mentions that he is a doctor, Jensen comments on the remark.
"Elif Bayram Orbe, I already had the feeling that you were a doctor and unfortunately I can't blindly trust you doctors anymore because too many of you are in the pocket of the medicine industry
https://ekstrabladet.dk/nyheder/samfund/article4158161.ece"
When we put the argument into perspective, the argument is understandable. Of course, Orbe, if he is part of the pharmaceutical industry, can try to convince others that the vaccine works. Therefore, he is obviously not an objective source. But here again there are points of contention. First of all, there is no evidence that Orbe is employed in the pharmaceutical industry, and the following comment also states that he is not.
In this case, the source is actually not appropriate at all, as it supports an empty postulate.

#

Can anyone check if it makes sense?

hasty shell
#

Please help, is there anything that I can fix? This is supposed to be a TEEL paragraph.

In Sleeping Beauty, the prince is shown as valorous and brave. This is shown through the use of body language and camera shots. The prince’s body language tells us that he’s unafraid of the beast, as he ferociously charges towards the beast, with his sword raised. The full shot establishes the environment he’s in, which supports the fact that he is entering an endangering situation. Accordingly, it is shown that the prince is valorous and brave through the use of body language and camera shots.

somber current
hasty shell
#

Thank you

heady nova
vagrant galleon
#

This is the introduction for my intern report

#

How do I write it ?

#

I think I kinda messed up using format form the internet

#

Introduction

This internship I chose this organization because I find their mission to be important and relevant to my career goals.

My role at Hilton PJ was to serve customers during the buffet. I worked in Paya Serai while serving customers at action stalk during breakfast and lunch buffet.

During my internship experience with culinary skills I was able to develop my culinary skills. I particularly found to be useful in improving my culinary skills. Although I found majority of the task to be challenging, I found it to be valuable in developing my culinary skills.

While I had many useful experiences at Hilton PJ, I feel that I still need to develop my confidence levels with my culinary skills. I would have enjoyed more time working with my chefs.c

heady nova
# vagrant galleon Introduction This internship I chose this organization because I find their ...

1st sentence is a little messed up, “this internship i chose this organization” is not proper grammar

in the 2nd paragraph, what did you mean by “action stalk”?

the 3rd paragraph is grammatically correct but repeats “culinary skills” too many times and sounds unnatural

4th paragraph looks mostly good, but when you say “my chefs” do you mean that the chefs belonged to you?

vagrant galleon
#

Thanks for your correction

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Your a life saver

whole stag
#

is anyone available

tough galleon
#

Asking on behalf of an American 🙂 Is it technically correct or incorrect to use conjunctions or build sentences in this manner:

"The leaves slowly fall from the trees above. As we sit there together talking about how happy the smell of fall makes us."
"It is the moments like these where I fall more and more in love with the small things. The way your hair moves in unison with the cool breeze that blows."
"We talk about how we feel the cold slipping into our jackets as the bright sun fades away. Letting the darkness of night encapsulate us. "
I think those sentences sound odd.

heady nova
tough galleon
heady nova
undone lodge
undone lodge
heady nova
# undone lodge https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YZAvvBub4ZKXJYuKCt3oZGi0dyCGibLeWnDATIsRXwA/...

i’ll look through the script, here’s the first 2 paragraphs and i’ll do the rest in a second. the bold words are corrections for grammar or phrasing.

We have, at one point in our past, let go of our childhood and begun to undergo the transition period between childhood and adulthood.

As we tread the bridge between childhood and adulthood, we are gradually departing from our childhood and all the childish things we used to do, and gradually becoming an adult. As we walk through this bridge, major physiological, physical, and psychological changes occur.

the second bold is for removing a word btw

#

Self-discovery, as defined by the Oxford Languages, is a process of acquiring insight into one's own character. It is the process of knowing our own individuality -- of what makes us unique and distinguishable from other people. Self-discovery is the process of knowing who you really are, what your likes and dislikes are, your passion, purpose, values, strengths, weaknesses, talents, and character. It is being fully aware of who you are as a person. In short, self-discovery is the quest to find the answer to the question “Who am I?”

change character from plural to singular here

#

As it is said in our book, self-discovery is an essential personal task. It is a keystone to personal development.

#

Secondly, self-discovery allows a person to have a sense of purpose that will motivate them in life. As I have said before, knowing your true self lets you identify what you want to be in the future.

extra words are bolded in first bold because a word was removed

#

Thirdly, we are able to grow and be better versions of ourselves. When we know our strengths, skills, and abilities, we are able to sharpen them and utilize them in various ways that can be beneficial to our growth. On the other hand, knowing our weaknesses and shortcomings lets us be aware of how we can try to improve and work on them. Thus, knowing ourselves, our weaknesses and strengths**,** helps us grow faster and be the best version of ourselves.

#

that’s all the corrections. overall a really good script, was definitely an interesting read

undone lodge
heady nova
exotic granite
#

Is there a problem If I post my assignment with questions and see if it's grammatically correct or not or even good in the first place

#

?

heady nova
#

I think so

jaunty granite
#

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic.

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

#

Most Insects are on the middle to bottom region of the food-chain. They can be found easily in nearly all places and there is no limit to the diversity of insects found on plane earth. Many countries such as China and mexico have been consuming insect based product for the last 2 centuries and have continued as part of their culture, while some countries focus on grown crops and baked goods to satiate their daily needs.

There are 2 divisons on this topic. One divison, claims that insects are abundant in nature and must be used as a food source to meet the growing need for food . This is an excellent argument when one takes into view the current situation in the world. That being, malnutrition and poverty. People in parts of Africa and Asia are being starved to death due to inadequate access to food and drinking water. If insect based food are encouraged in such regions , this could eliminate the problem of food scarcity and everyone would be well fed.

On the other hand Insects are pathogen transmitters . They may carry disease causing pathogens which may cause life-threatening diseases. One excellent argument in favour to this topic is the birth of the Covid-19 virus. It is said to be originated from an insect on sale in the wuhan market. This has caused widespread panic and many, who have been earlier consuming insects has refrained from doing so. This brings a conclusive argument, that insects are unhealthy.

I too agree that insects are unhealthy and it should be consumed by humans. Moreover, harvesting insects can negatively impact the ecosystem and can bring about habitat imbalance and food chain disruption.

#

can someone give their opinion on my answer

heady nova
#

@jaunty granite do you want the version where all the corrected things are in bold so you can see what changed, a version that can be copied and pasted but does not show edits, or both versions

safe rose
#

Everything looks good but using "Besides" is a little funny. I suggest you swap that out with something like "additionally"

fallow trellis
jaunty granite
heady nova
# jaunty granite One having edits in bold

Most Insects are on the middle to bottom region of the food chain. They can be found easily in nearly all places and there is no limit to the diversity of insects found on planet Earth. Many countries such as China and Mexico have been consuming insect-based products for the last 2 centuries and have continued to as part of their culture, while some countries focus on growing crops and baked goods to satiate their daily needs.

There are 2 divisions on this topic. One division [removed comma here] claims that insects are abundant in nature and must be used as a food source to meet the growing need for food. This is an excellent argument when one takes into account the current issues of malnutrition and poverty in the world. People in parts of Africa and Asia are starving to death due to inadequate access to food and drinking water. If insect**-based foods** are encouraged in such regions, this could eliminate the problem of food scarcity and everyone would be well fed.

On the other hand**,** insects can transmit pathogens. They may carry disease**-causing pathogens which may cause life-threatening diseases. One excellent argument in favour to this topic is the birth of the Covid-19 virus. It is said to be originated from an insect on sale in the Wuhan market. This has caused widespread panic and many, who have been [removed word here] consuming insects,** have refrained from doing so. This brings the conclusive argument [removed comma here] that insects are unhealthy.

I too agree that insects are unhealthy and should not be consumed by humans. Moreover, harvesting insects can negatively impact the ecosystem and can bring about habitat imbalance and food chain disruption.

jaunty granite
#

Thanks 👍🏼 . What do you infer from my writing? Does it have a defined intro, body and conclusion? Also does it divert from the topic?

opal zodiac
#

Hi, could anybody in here try to check my speech script (This is for a final competition)? It's talk about "Will technology replace a human job." If you can, please dm me and I will send the file to you. Thank you

vague summit
#

hello! could i possibly ask if there's anybody who's willing to read my short intro for my small business? it's just really short ~90 words at max. I'll dm you the text if you'd be interested. Thank you and have a great day! 😊

exotic granite
#

ok then I'm going to put my assignment here I hope you check it out I understand if you think it's very bad but I hope I can do better than what I already did please understand

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these are the questions

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hoose three restaurant or hotel companies you have found on the Internet. Based on information provided in each company’s Web site:

A. Describe how each of these companies tries to satisfy a customer’s wants.

B. How does each of these companies create value for the customer?

C. Do companies segment the market by offering pages for a specific market segment? For example, a hotel may provide information for meeting planners, and a restaurant may provide information for customers who are concerned about nutrition or families.

D. Select the company you would purchase from and state why.

#

this was my answer

#

“60 percent of restaurants shut down their businesses in their first year” but there are some businesses that succeed into their business becoming more famous with their customers. In this essay I’ll talk about 3 famous restaurants that reached the stage of being known everywhere for their services and what they bring value for their customers that differentiate them form others.
The 3 restaurants that I’m going to talk about has different ways to satisfy and give the most value to their customers. Let’s talk about ALBAIK for example ALBAIK gives their customers a simple easy to read orders from menu which helps customers choose their meals without taking much time. This way customers don’t have to wait hours to receive their order. On their website they also provide value for customers in other ways. For example, they have a page about community commitment. In 2010 they joined forces with the Ministry of Education and Khawater to launch the Feena Khair – ‘My School, My Responsibility’ program to teach children about environment awareness. There are other various programs that they did with the community to create value and raise their own fame throughout the community. They also have a page for questions for feedback, last news for new about the restaurant and team member memories to show the customers how much they value their employees. The second restaurant that I’m going to talk about is Shake Shack.Shake Shack gives value by giving its customers quality ingredients animal welfare practices. On their website they have a page for customers those cares about the artist communities. A quote from Shake shack “At Shake Shack, our people are the core of who we are and what we stand for”. Shake shack has a summary page on their website that explains what they do best they claim to hold themselves accountable they also they gather their community to enrich their neighborhood.

#

The third restaurant that I’m going to talk about is Fuddruckers. Fuddruckers gives value to its customers by providing fresh ingredients and freshly baked bread, it also claims that has the best burgers across the USA. They also provides franchising and they have a feed back pages to help them reflect on what the customers what in to change and what they can do to improve on their product In the future.

jaunty granite
#

please provide your f/b in terms of band scores for ielts

exotic granite
#

@jaunty granite are talking to me?

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If yes sure

jaunty granite
#

You and anyone else who would like to help, can do the same. It would be greatly appreciated

hasty shell
#

Moana in the film poster Moana is portrayed as determined through the use of body language. In the middle of the film poster, Moana is seen with one of her hands on the side of her hip, and holding a paddle confidently. Moana’s body language can brief us on her determination as her stance is intriguing. She is standing upright and is smiling which tells us that she is optimistic for whatever journey lies ahead. Moana is gripping onto the paddle, which emphasises her confidence. This opposes the usual stereotype of women being “helpless”, instead being adventurous. This is proven through her strong posture. Therefore, body language is used to portray Moana as a confident character through the use of body language in the film poster Moana.

opal zodiac
#

Hi, can someone try to check my speech script. If you can, please dm me. Thank you

inner idol
#

Lmao

somber current
# exotic granite “60 percent of restaurants shut down their businesses in their first year” but t...

Don’t know if you still need this proofread but here:

60 percent of restaurants shut down their businesses in their first year. However, there are some businesses that succeed**,** into their business and become more famous with their customers. In this essay I’ll talk about discuss (“talk about” is less formal) 3 famous restaurants that reached the stage of being known everywhere for their services**,** and how the value they bring to their customers differentiates them from competitors.

…

exotic granite
#

Thank you

somber current
# exotic granite “60 percent of restaurants shut down their businesses in their first year” but t...

The 3 restaurants that I’m going to talk about has to discuss have different ways to satisfy and give the most value to their customers. Let’s talk about ALBAIK for example. For instance, ALBAIK gives their customers a simple easy to read orders from menu which helps customers choose their meals without taking much time. This way, customers don’t have to wait hours to receive their order. On their website they also provide value for customers in other ways. For example, they have a page about community commitment. In 2010**,** they joined forces with the Ministry of Education and Khawater to launch the Feena Khair – ‘My School, My Responsibility’ program to teach children about environmental awareness. There are other various programs that they did with the community to create value and raise their own fame throughout the community. (it’s a bit repetitive) They also have a page for questions and feedback, last news for new (I don’t understand what you’re trying to say) about the restaurant and team member memories to show the customers how much they value their employees. The second restaurant that I’m going to talk about is Shake Shack.Shake Shack gives value by giving its customers quality ingredients animal welfare practices. On their website they have a page for customers who care about artist communities. (I don’t understand why you spoke about animal welfare then art?) A quote from Shake shack reads: “At Shake Shack, our people are the core of who we are and what we stand for”. Shake shack has a summary page on their website that explains what they do best – they claim to hold themselves accountable and they also work with their community to enrich their neighborhood.

somber current
# exotic granite The third restaurant that I’m going to talk about is Fuddruckers. Fuddruckers gi...

The third restaurant that I’m going to talk about is Fuddruckers. Fuddruckers gives value to its customers by providing fresh ingredients and freshly baked bread, it also claims that it has the best burgers across the USA. They also provide franchising and they have a feed back pages to help them reflect on what the customers want to change and what they can do to improve on their product In the future.

somber current
inner idol
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I went there to smoke a cigarette or I went there to have a cigarette which one is correct

heady nova
heady nova
inner idol
#

Ok Thx 😚

fierce haven
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Hello can someone proofread my thesis statement for a position paper?

safe rose
fierce haven
safe rose
fierce haven
#

ahh thank you!

safe rose
fierce haven
safe rose
fierce haven
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thank u!

safe rose
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Np~

next trout
#

Hi all! I'm looking for some Cambridge C1 writing assignments to correct for a YouTube video. Does anyone have something I can make a video about?

tacit path
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Her body, now one with this shield. Remains unbending, unless shattered. Yet, it has crumbled to nothing but a few pieces of shrapnel, ravaged by the constant artillery strikes. But her comrades still turn to her, eyes filled with a hopeful wish: Victoria shall stand victorious once more!

But the commanders aren't here, and neither is Priscilla.

She wished that she would see such loyalty be rewarded by the best decorations this empire could offer, but she knew less than half of them would live to see the next sunrise. Shot down one-by-one, lasers aimed at chests protected by nothing other than a thin piece of ragged clothing.

Just half an hour left, and all would end.

vagrant galleon
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During my intern in Hilton PJ , I noticed that a kitchen setup might affecting the working efficiency and the work flow of the kitchen crew.
In my opinion the pros of the kitchen of paya serai is the facilities and tool placement is perfect , we got all the tools and the device we needed to finish our tasks.
But there is a lot of Cons in paya serai kitchen , first of all the kitchen floor have a draining hole is way too big and the hole's cover is half broken it should be cover with a harder material for it's cover and more fictional pattern is apply because I couldn't count how many times I have fall on this cover ,
Another thing is the arrangement of the kitchen is wasting a lots of space, I believe the kitchen should be rearrange the facilities because the refrigerator and freezer keep blocking the way while we are working
Finally problem with Paya serai kitchen is , there is not kitchen garbage bin , because of this I always have to borrow garbage bin from Malay kitchen , this have been waste time go in and out of my kitchen I suggest we should prepare another garbage bin for our kitchen , even the grade manger in our hotel have 3 garbage bin.

heady nova
# vagrant galleon During my intern in Hilton PJ , I noticed that a kitchen setup might affecting t...

During my intern in Hilton PJ, I noticed that the kitchen setup affects the work flow and efficiency of the kitchen crew.
In my opinion, one of the pros of the paya serai kitchen is that the facilities and tool placement are perfect; we have all the tools and devices we need to finish our tasks.
But there is also a lot of cons in using the paya serai kitchen. First of all, the draining hole is way too big. Furthermore, the hole's cover is half broken; it should be covered with a harder material and more fictional pattern should be applied (sorry, i dont know what you mean here. whats a fictional pattern?) because I've already fallen many times through the cover.
Another thing is that the arrangement of the kitchen is not space-efficient. I believe the facilities should be rearranged, especially the refrigerator and freezer, as they tend to get in the way of the kitchen personnel.
Final problem with Paya serai kitchen is that there is no garbage bin; due to this, I always have to borrow one from the Malay kitchen, which consumes time as it requires us to constantly go in and out the kitchen. I suggest we prepare another garbage bin. Even the grade manager in our hotel has three garbage bins.

vagrant galleon
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During my three months intern experience in Hilton PJ was fascinating, I have Learned many culinary skills and technique form the chefs at Hilton PJ , some technique that I have never even learn form my culinary skills.

In the first month of my internship , I was assigned to assist Chef Anuua at cold kitchen known as grade manger kitchen , This Kitchen specifying prepare cold items such as ; sandwiches, fruits , salad , cold meat and cheese platter. In this kitchen I learned how to prepare varieties of Sandwich and salads for buffet , in my first week in this kitchen I was nervous and anxious about my working but luckily Chef Anuua told me to calm down and comfort me to relax not to be over serious about everything, while Chef Sana , told me; We all are still learning, it's okey to make mistake we all learn form out mistake. After a few weeks I finally could handle many task given my Chefs . In my following days I enjoyed working with Chef Anuua and Chef Sana even I only work at there for three weeks , I already learned lots of to things and still I could learn even more in that grade manger kitchen.

After three weeks in grade manger kitchen I was assigned another position in another kitchen , it's known as Paya serai kitchen , I was assigned in this position for the remaining of my intern. Paya serai actually a restaurant inside our hotel , I found out more interesting things is paya serai is the main kitchen that prepare most of the food form the menu and buffet in our hotel . I learned many culinary techniques form Chef Luffy and Chef Hafiz , bother of them surprised me the skill that have , I never ever lean that much from my school . As I was thought many skills including mist en place for the buffet and a la carte menu .

#

.
It's actually a quiet long story my adventure of learning in paya serai kitchen. In my first two weeks Chef Hafiz teach me how to grill satay with golden brown crust , the satay he grilled is crispy outside and tender inside, with certain if timing I managed to master some of his skill but still his skill is marvelous compare to mine , but I won't stop practice until one day I might get as good as him.

The second month in my paya serai Chef Luffy thought me about the arts of baking pizza. I suspect that his pizza have some kind of gravitational force that pull foodies around the Buffett, his pizza always empty out fast. Based on my observation he always sprinkle some herb that includes; rosemary, thyme, oregano and parsley, to make the pizza extra tasty. Another tips I learned form him is ; pour a bit of olive oil on top of the pizza to provide moisture and prevention of burned pizza.

#

.
The final month of my internship, Chef Ridzuan decided that I am skill enough to take care of action stalk in the buffet , during the breakfast I am in charge of omelette station while afternoon i take care of my pasta station, I was nervous while facing the customers. I was too afraid that I am not skilled enough to serve the customers, but Chef Ridzuan encourage me and give me confident of my cooking skill , he once told me ; there is no mistake but happy accident, you doesn't need to worries anything as your culinary skills is good enough to serve the customers. If your not a good cook we don't dare to assign you in such position. As he said he teaches me his technique of making omelette and pasta , honestly I don't even know that his technique was very different and I noticed that cooking can be flexible as cooking should not have only one technique but many style of could create different favor as the ingredients is the same. My eye is opened by him.

#

.
I was very grateful and thankful for learning form the expert, without their guidance I believe I would never achieve such culinary skills, this intern I have learned so much that I think I could not repay the them. I will keep practicing and work harder for my future career.

vagrant galleon
#

My horrible essay

heady nova
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@vagrant galleon question: when you type "grade manger", do you mean "garde manger"? i just looked it up on the internet and discovered its a legit term, all this time i thought you were saying "grade manager"

vagrant galleon
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Yes

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I will correct it

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Thanks your a life saver

heady nova
# vagrant galleon Thanks your a life saver

My three months intern experience at Hilton PJ was fascinating. I was able to hone my skills, and I have also learned many culinary techniques from the chefs at Hilton PJ.

In the first month of my internship, I was assigned to assist Chef Anuua in the cold kitchen known as garde manger kitchen, which is where the preparation of cold items is done such as: sandwiches, fruits, salad, cold meat, and cheese platter. I learned how to prepare various types of sandwiches and salads for buffet. In my first week in the kitchen, I was nervous and anxious about my work but, luckily, Chef Anuua comforted me and helped me relax and not overthink everything, and Chef Sana told me: "We are all learning, it's okay to make mistakes, and in fact it is from those mistakes that we learn and improve ourselves." After a few weeks I finally began to handle with ease many of the tasks given by my chefs. I enjoyed working with Chef Anuua and Chef Sana in the short three weeks that I worked there. In such a brief time, I learned a lot, and I know still have a lot more to learn in the garde manger kitchen.

#

After three weeks in garde manger kitchen I was assigned a position in another kitchen, the Paya serai kitchen, which is actually a restaurant inside our hotel. I occupied this position for the rest of my internship. I found out some interesting things: Paya serai is the hotel's main kitchen in which most of the food from the menu and buffet are prepared. I assimilated several culinary techniques form Chef Luffy and Chef Hafiz, who greatly astonished me with their brilliant skills. I have never learned that much from my school. I also acquired many skills including mise en place for the buffet and a la carte menu.

My adventure in Paya serai kitchen is actually quite a long story. In the first two weeks, Chef Hafiz trained me to grill satay with golden brown crust. The satay he grilled was crispy on the outside and exquisitely tender inside. After some time I managed to emulate his technique as well as refine my skills, but the result was still far from the mastery that Chef Hafiz showed.

In the second month, Chef Luffy taught me about the art of baking pizza. To make the pizza extra tasty, I observed that he always sprinkled herbs such as rosemary, thyme, oregano, and parsley. Another tip I got from him is that I should alwaus pour a bit of olive oil on top of the pizza to provide moisture and prevent it from burning. Anyway, I suspect that Cheff Luffy's pizza possessed some kind of gravitational force that invariably attracted all the foodies at the buffet because his pizza always emptied out fast.

#

In the final month of my internship, Chef Ridzuan decided that I was skilled enough to manage the operations within the buffet. During breakfast I was in charge of the omelette station while in afternoon I supervised the pasta station. Facing the customers made me nervous. I was afraid that I was not skilled enough to serve the customers, but Chef Ridzuan encouraged me and gave me confidence in my skills, as he once told me: "There are no mistakes; only happy accidents. You don't need to worry about anything as your culinary skills are more than satisfactory to serve the customers. Besides, if you weren't a good cook we couldn't reasonably assign you this position." He taught me many techniques in making omelette and pasta. Honestly I hadn't even known his technique as it was very different, and I realized that cooking is actually flexible; there are many styles with which you can prepare a dish, producing a diversity in its general character, even when the ingredients are the same. Chef Ridzuan really opened my eyes to many new things.

#

i hope i got everything right

heady nova
main cape
#

I Will offer free proofreading amd editing service. I would also love if you gave out a small tip.
Here's my email check my profile.

jaunty hull
jaunty hull
primal tide
#

hi there! i have to write a 15 page research paper on the history of advertising of the US and UK that is due this tuesday. would anyone be willing to proofread and somewhat edit my 5200 word papers over the weekend? that would be very nice

loud garnet
#

I’d take a look

unreal kite
#

Good morning, If anyone is interested in Spanish proofreading, I can help you!!

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a pleasure

tropic ivy
dense cave
#

@zealous ramparte

vague summit
#

hello! does anyone wants to read the formal letter I've written for my dad's hearing tomorrow? please dm

fickle crystal
inner idol
#

Its ok if you don't like me not everyone has a good taste
Is it correct

safe rose
blissful steeple
heady nova
#

500 years ago, the brilliant mind Niccolo Machiavelli, presented a simple question of morality: “Is it better to be loved than feared, or feared than loved?" In present times, this question is still one of great controversy, with nations all over the world choosing to rule with the consent of their people, or with the diplomacy of their army. And while it’s true that a leader who rules with an iron fist will have an easier time controlling the masses, it’s still, however, irrefutably true that it is better for a leader to be loved because it inspires loyalty and sedates rebellion.
Leaders that are loved focus on taking care of their employees, creating a stronger employer-employee bond. Relationships like these foster a culture of respect at work. It promotes teamwork and productivity. Additionally, it makes employees feel valued, which can help in creating a healthy work environment and boost the company's employee retention. "A workforce that is driven by fear will be less likely to take risks as they worry about the consequences of their mistakes."
A leader who is feared, on the other hand, does not have a real relationship with the people. They only obey the rules and laws established out of fear, not because they believe they are just. People will not try hard or be outstanding at them, but merely input the bare minimum of effort. This creates for a less prosperous nation, and less overall wealth to be distributed throughout the population.

#

Unfortunately, being admired results in having decreased disciplinary power over their team. It makes employees less likely to listen to their seniors or respect their authority. In some cases, they may start slacking off and foregoing rules. However, a workforce that is driven by fear will be less likely to take risks as they worry about the consequences of their mistakes. It leads to a lack of psychological safety or the freedom to act without fear of negative consequences. This results in decreased creativity and productivity. Therefore, a culture of fear can inhibit learning and development.
To conclude, going back to Machiavelli's quote, is it truly better to be feared than loved? Totally not. A leader who is feared does not inspire the people to be better or happier, but merely oppresses them and condemns his own nation. This has been proven throughout history, as the best rulers are usually greatly loved, admired and supported by their people, who are happy and motivated under their leaders’ rule.

#

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAY

worldly wadi
#

i saw an anime today called moriarty the patriot and sherlock was in it. Just to practice English writing i wrote a short paragraph about his character's description . Can anyone judge critically it and tell me what i can improve in this?
Sherlock has dark blue, wavy, shoulder-length hair that he usually has held up in a ponytail. He has similarly dark blue colored eyes. He is usually seen wearing a navy blue suit, with a white shirt with the first few buttons undone, and no tie or waistcoat. He has a somewhat tall height of 6'1" (185 cm) and pale skin. Although looking thin, he is physically fit as noted by William Moriarty, and is supported in the anime.

heady nova
fierce haven
#

can someone proofread my script for a reflection video? it's one-page long, can i sent in dms? thank you!

inner idol
#

Hello
Would you mind if I think about you
I,ll tell you why I was thinking about you when you reply
Is it correct should I say reply or respond or ..

heady nova
inner idol
#

Thx

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💜💜

#

You got me

inner idol
#

A machine dancer or a dancer machine

#

Pls tell me which one is correct

heady nova
safe rose
#

A machine that dances?

heady nova
#

i didn’t know machines could dance

#

could you send a picture of the machine?

#

so we can see what it is?

safe rose
heady nova
safe rose
silent shore
#

A "machine dancer" could refer to someone who dances with mechanical motions, or maybe automatically in the sense of automatic response to the moves of a partner or specific musical or visual signals, etc. If so, then "dancing machine" would be better than "dancer machine." I guess "machine dancer" could also refer to a robot or something. If "dancer machine," then I think it would probably be a machine not a human.

#

I did see a dancing robot in a recent YouTube clip about new machines made by that leading firm, I think, Boston Robotics or something that reminds me of Boston. Forget the name. The thing was actually doing some primitive dancing-type footwork and swaying, swinging to music.

safe rose
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Oh wait but it’d most likely be a machine(?)

#

I’d say “Dancing machine” tbh

sick edge
#

Hello I'm from indonesia

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May I be your friends

cunning inlet
inner idol
#

I got another question

inner idol
#

Ok so my question is
I remembered some of your names or I remembered some of your nicknames

safe rose
#

Both are grammatically correct

worldly wadi
#

He is the Napoleon of crime. He is the organizer of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this great city. He is a genius, a philosopher, an abstract thinker. He has a brain of the first order. He sits motionless, like a spider in the centre of its web, but that web has a thousand radiations, and he knows well every quiver of each of them.

lapis palm
#

The imbalance of gender distribution in some majors is quite common nowadays.
For majors like civil engineering, male students usually account for about 80 percent. These colleges are mocked as Shaolin Temple. To relieve this situation, one intense proposal has become viral. That’s, should universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. In my opinion, we can tackle this issue in two aspects, one is gender equality, and another is the biological and psychological difference between men and women.
No doubt, this proposal makes sense to some extent. There are amounts of matriculations to access a college. All of them are involved in arts, academics, and sports, and neither of them are about student’s sex. So when it comes to a major election, universities should not set some limitations for different genders. It is kind of unfair.
However, I don’t advocate for this proposal. Because biological and psychological differences indeed exist. And due to biological issues, women are required not to compete in in most sports event. Then from human’s history, we can conclude that females are not as excellent as males in some aspects like mathematics, physics, and business, because most of successful people in these area are men.
Also if you try to have a conversation with girls logically. Guaranteed, most of them will show no interest. Some stereotypes are the truth. In some aspects, men are much more capable than women, and vice versa. Usually, men are much more muscular than women. They can take some tough work and think in a more logical way. Major like physics and computer science are more suitable for men. Males and females are different in some ways, so they should not be treated as same.

#

Proofreading plz

worthy solar
#

The imbalance of gender distribution in some majors is quite common nowadays. For majors like civil engineering, male students usually account for about 80 percent. These colleges are mocked as Shaolin Temple. To relieve this situation, one intense proposal has become viral. That’s, should universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. 1️⃣ In my opinion, we can tackle this issue in two aspects, one is gender equality, and another is the biological and psychological difference between men and women. 2️⃣

No doubt, this proposal makes sense to some extent. There are amounts of matriculations to access a college. All of them are involved in arts, academics, and sports, and neither of them are about student’s sex. So when it comes to a major election, universities should not set some limitations for different genders. It is kind of unfair.
However, I don’t advocate for this proposal. Because biological and psychological differences indeed exist. 3️⃣ And due to biological issues, women are required not to compete in in most sports event.4️⃣ Then from human’s history, we can conclude that females are not as excellent as males in some aspects like mathematics, physics, and business, because most of successful people in these area are men. 5️⃣
Also if you try to have a conversation with girls logically. Guaranteed, most of them will show no interest. 6️⃣ Some stereotypes are the truth. 7️⃣In some aspects, men are much more capable than women, and vice versa. Usually, men are much more muscular than women. They can take some tough work and think in a more logical way. Major like physics and computer science are more suitable for men. 8️⃣ Males and females are different in some ways, so they should not be treated as same.

#

1️⃣ That is, universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
2️⃣ Start New sentence after "aspects"
3️⃣Omit period and combine both sentences in one
4️⃣ Omit second "in"
5️⃣ "areas" instead of area
6️⃣ Omit period and combine both sentences in one. Change "Guaranteed* to "it is guaranteed"
7️⃣ Some stereotypes are true
8️⃣ Majors like

lapis palm
fallen grove
#

Can anyone good in english/higher than grade 11 english proofread/correct my memoire? Thanks if so, dm me

fallen grove
#

Pls I don't think it is very good and I need help quickly😭

jaunty granite
#

A Neuron is the primary mediator in message transmission process.The figure depicts the structure of a neuron in great detail.

It mainly consists of the cell body, dendrites, Axon and terminal buttons. The Dendrites are root-like structures situated on the cell body. Its function is to recieve messages from other cells The messages are passed through the axon from the cell body to other neurons, muscles or glands. The terminal buttons act as a message transmitter, coming from the axon to other cells. Another curious term encountered which is of significant interest to neuroscientists, is the Action potential. Action Potential can be defined as the electrical signal traveling down the axon. The Mycelin sheath is a unique covering that covers the axon of some neurons and helps speed the neural impulses.

A message transmission is achieved through the interconnection of neurons with cells and organs. The Dendrites from another neuron transmits the message elsewhere, in the same way, where the body deems necessary. In such a way communication is achieved in the human body

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proofeading please

wet kernel
# jaunty granite A Neuron is the primary mediator in message transmission process.The figure depi...

A Neuron is a primary mediator in the message transmission process. The figure depicts the structure of a neuron in great detail. It mainly consists of the cell body, dendrites, Axon, and terminal buttons. The Dendrites are root-like structures situated on the cell body. Its function is to receive messages from other cells. The messages are passed through the axon from the cell body to other neurons, muscles, or glands. The terminal buttons act as a message transmitter, coming from the axon to other cells. Another curious term encountered that is of significant interest to neuroscientists is Action potential. Action Potential can be defined as the electrical signal traveling down the axon. The Myelin sheath is a unique covering that covers the axon of some neurons and helps speed neural impulses. Message transmission is achieved through the interconnection of neurons with cells and organs. The Dendrites from another neuron transmit the message elsewhere, in the same way, that the body deems it necessary. In such a way communication is achieved in the human body.

jaunty granite
wet kernel
main cape
#

Can anyone hire me for editing and proofreading tasks? DM

jaunty granite
#

The first diagram depicts the current ground floor plan of a house, and the second diagram represents the expected design of the floor after the construction work is done. In a nutshell, the major changes are aimed at making the floor more spacious, and, at the same time not having excessive floor area where unnecessary. In short, the redecoration is dedicated to improving the efficient use of the floor area.

The ground floor plan, at present, consists of the living room, the kitchen, the front hall, and a flight of stairs to the next level. The total number of windows and doors accounts for two each. Each window connects the hall with the living room and kitchen respectively. One can access the kitchen and living room through two separate doors located at the far end of the hall. There is also a storage vault situated beneath the stairs.

The proposed changes differ from the original in the size of the kitchen, and the connection between the living room, and the hall. The stairs are made more spiral as opposed to the older version. The separation between the living room and the hall is taken out. The number of windows is reduced to one and the two doors now face the kitchen.

#

proof reading please. give me a comment on the structure, paragraphing and coherance too

main cape
#

The first diagram depicts the current ground floor plan of a house, and the second diagram represents the expected design of the floor after the construction work is done. In a nutshell, the major changes are aimed at making the floor more spacious, and, at the same time not having excessive floor area. In short, the redecoration is dedicated to improving the efficient use of the floor area.

The ground floor plan, at present, consists of the living room, the kitchen, the front hall, and a flight of stairs to the next level. The total number of windows and doors accounts for two each. Each window connects the hall with the living room and kitchen respectively. One can access the kitchen and living room through two separate doors located at the far end of the hall. There is also a storage vault situated beneath the stairs.

The proposed changes differ from the original in the size of the kitchen, and the connection between the living room, and the hall. The stairs are made more spiral as opposed to the older version. The separation between the living room and the hall is taken out. The number of windows is reduced to one and the two doors now face the kitchen.
proofreading, please. give me a comment on the structure, paragraphing, and coherence too

somber current
# jaunty granite The first diagram depicts the current ground floor plan of a house, and the seco...

“In a nutshell, the major changes are aimed at making the floor more spacious, and, at the same time**,** not having excessive floor area”.

“The proposed changes differ from the original in the size of the kitchen, and the connection between the living room and (the) hall.”

*I removed the last comma because the “connection between the living room and the hall” is one whole area, from what I understand?
** (the) can also be optional here, I feel.

This is very well-written. ^^

inner idol
#

I was joking ily and I want to always see you right here with .me
Or I was joking ily and I want always to see you right here with .me
Which one

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..............

#

.......................

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🥱🥱

inner idol
safe rose
crimson gale
#

For me, "fate" is something that does not really exist. We can only describe fate as a coincidence or something that has happened before, which conveys the meaning of something important to us. It can be described as something that we can't imagine or don't expect to happen. For me there is no such thing as fate in the future because the history of our lives is not yet predetermined or written, we create what we call 'fate' ourselves.
Can you correct me if something wrong?

safe rose
#

Grammatically

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But you don’t really need to repeat “for me”

crimson gale
carmine falcon
#

I have a quick grammar question!

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"The article itself also uses many credible sources, which not only increases the trustworthiness of the authors, but also the trustworthiness of the article itself"

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im wondering about the "increases" part

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Feel free to @ me whenever you get a chance to read this!

safe rose
#

It is grammatically correct, context wise it’s a little weird

inner idol
#

sorry I couldn't I took sleeping pills in that time and I was so tired

Idk I don't think its correct 😕

jaunty granite
#

The given diagram illustrates the step-by-step process by which paper is manufactured from trees and its subsequent recycling procedure. In overall the diagram focuses on the importance of recycling paper as the raw material is obtained by deforestation, a harmful act to the society.

It all begins at the lumber mill, where the trees, which are brought in, are sliced into piles of logs by using a saw machine. These logs are then, sent to the pulping centre, where the pulp of the wood is prepared by crushing process. This is then sent to the paper making plant which houses the paper press. The paper press converts the pulp into paper and is supplied to the markets for commercial use.

The paper after its usage, is thrown away into the dustbin as waste. This is collected by the concerned paper recycling agency and is sent for shredding. After shredding this paper into small slices, it is then, sent to the recycling plant. The plant contains the technology and machines, with which it converts this paper back to its raw form, which is, the pulp. The pulp is sent to the paper making plant, where new batches paper is made and sent to the market. And the cycle continues.

limber summit
limber summit
limber summit
# jaunty granite The given diagram illustrates the step-by-step process by which paper is manufac...

The commas in the second sentence of the second paragraph are not need (I think). You should also include a ‘the’ before ‘crushing process’. As for the last sentence of the second paragraph, ‘supplied’ is not the correct word. I think it should be ‘supplies’. “The paper press converts the pulp into paper and supplies it to markets for commercial use.”

limber summit
limber summit
limber summit
jaunty granite
#

Thanks!

limber summit
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No problem

#

btw, your essay is great!

random cobalt
#

"Just ignore him, he is being hypocritical." Is there any mistakes?

safe rose
heady nova
blissful steeple
#

"is there any mistake?" - isn't it correct tho?

small lichen
peak moth
peak fjord
#

Has any native speaker time to proofread my cover letter?

random cobalt
#

Hardly can a day elapse without seeing children staring at their phone while walking on the road.

limber summit
cursive patio
#

Hey, people from the english hub i have an essay i need to do, im not the best at grammar so i hope you guys can help me with it

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The healthier the better, compulsory exercise

So health has been declining rapidly since 1960, that has many reasons, like the accessibility to junk food is so intensely high, and the internet is just getting us to do less. to be way more lazy. in the last 40 years the obese precentage is the us had incresed by 25 precent that is one fourth of the whole country, so i think it would be necessary to have compulsory exercise.

Testosterone levels are declining with 1 percent a year since 1950, that means that we already are down by 50 percent (100-1%⁡⁰). That is really bad for humanity. We need to work on that, and that is why compulsory exercise is needed for all men and women. Just by exercising whatever you want to do you are increasing your testosterone by big percentages because the testosterone levels are at an all time low. Not only is it better for your testosterone levels, it is also better for general health. Testosterone is a major factor at increasing your health, because it is increasing mental health muscle mass, and the most important one is your sex drive. But exercising just helps you throughout the day. and if everyone is doing it you will feel miserable. and you are the only one that is weak, if you make it obligatory, then people will make a game of it, because they already should be working out, so why not maximize your gains. And if people want to maximize their gains they need to learn about the best way to do it, progressive overload, it is not only a good thing is the gym, but also in real life, if you are struggling with smoking, because you smoke 2 packs a day, try to smoke 1 pack a day and than half a pack than only 4 cigarettes than 3 than 2 and at last 1,

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and if you keep that momentum it will be 0 in a few months. then you have progressively overloaded your will to stop smoking. and if people learn to progressively overload then they will do that with every aspect of life and then they will better their life, and we all want a healthy nation, don't we?. so if we want healthy men and woman we need to exercise 2 days at least a week, and make it mandatory

The health benefit is not the only one you also have the economic effect. and since we are in an economical crisis it would help everyone a lot. Because if we all worked out, we needed to buy more food. Because of all the calories that you are burning with working out you need to get back through eating. And the more there is going to be bought the more the economic state is going to rise. And because the testosterone is increasing, people will get smarter, because testosterone is increasing your brain. How smarter the people are, how better they will work. That also will be helping the economical state of our nation.

Young men have way less sex, than years before. That was caused by the internet. That is because when the internet did not exist you only had to compete against the group

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(it is not meant to be serious so just read to improve my english not correct the lies i told)

viral venture
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Hey guys can you help proofread my coursework

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Owen describes the war as a tremendous loss that was made apparent by not only the lives lost but the physical and mental struggle that ensued. The title “Disabled” is an aberration to the archetypal image of a soldier (someone in excellent physical health). “He sat in a wheeled chair, waiting for dark” creates an initial shocking tone to depict the disastrous results of war. The lexicon “dark”, has connotations of negativity and in this case, Owen utilizes it as a euphemism for death. This further suggests that the impact of war took a serious toll on the soldiers' mental and physical health only leaving death as an option to end their suffering. Imagery of the past is constructed through the semantic field of longing, with time phrases such as “about this time”, “used to”, “in the old times” and “before”. Paints a vivid picture of longing for his old struggleless life, emphasizing the loss created as a consequence of war. Owen himself was a soldier and fought in the battle of the Somme. Therefore, the perspective in which he wrote the poem is from an empathetic position as he had endured the same ordeals. Moreover, there is an explicit correlation between his experience and his intention to expose the horrors of the war.

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In “The Bright Lights of Sarajevo”, Harrison depicts the daily struggle created by the Bosnian war. The noun “prams” is a pushchair for a baby, who are regarded as precious, this highlights the daily struggle in which even small amounts of fuel were considered extremely valuable this is further accentuated by the phrase, “precious meagre grams” which reinforces this sense of struggle. Plosive alliteration is utilized in, “bright and clear for bombers eye” this is also an example of a cacophony. The phonetic ‘b’ sound creates a harsh tone implying that danger(struggle) is near for Sarajevan. The previous idea of danger is strengthened by “Street Serb Shells” which is a sibilance in which the phonetic ‘Sh’ creates a sound that closely imitates the whistle of a bomb falling. This resonates with the previous idea of danger created for the Sarajevans. “Flirtatious” and “fancied”, this alliteration depicts a playful romance which indicates despite the struggles life still tries to continue. However, this romantic tone is juxtaposed with the remainder of the war. Implying that it will take some time till life is back to normal. All the ideas/Imagery present in the poem are utilised as a medium for Harrison to communicate the struggles of the Sarajevans to the readers.

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Within “The Story of an Hour”, Chopin illustrates the struggles created for women in oppressive marriages during the 1890s in America. Initially, the readers are told that “Mrs. Mallard was afflicted with heart trouble”. The Metaphor “heart trouble” is utilised to convey to the reader that she is unhappy with her marriage. Furthermore, this idea of unhappiness is further accentuated by the repetition of “free, free, free!”, which is Mrs. Mallard’s moment of epiphany in which she realises that she is finally “free” this emphasises the regressive nature of marriage in which she was previously unhappy. This is implemented by Chopin to communicate and expose the oppressiveness and the struggles that women had to endure during that time period. “Died of a heart disease of the joy that kills” is an example of dramatic irony. It creates a tense atmosphere as the readers know that it was not the “joy that kills” but much rather the disappointment of her husband being alive, and her liberation being taken away that killed her.

jaunty granite
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can someone help me in proofreading my college essays?

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dm me if you can. because of plagiarism issues i cant post it here

heady nova
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here is a good resource to use for checking grammar: https://writer.com/grammar-checker/. it is free and checks your english work for grammar issues. you can check up to 2,000 words at a time without signing up, and you can check unlimited words after signing up (which is also free).

Writer
Free Grammar Checker

Get a free grammar check! Just copy and paste your text to fix issues with grammar, spelling, punctuation, and more instantly. No sign up required!

bold sentinel
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I need some help with editing the following sentence. It just doesn't sound right to me? But I can't tweak it too much because it's a translation. I have to remain 95% faithful to the original text.

Sentence: When James said he’d be waiting for me, that was probably just part of his cover story about the fire, right?

Context: See, this James fellow called the speaker to help her get out of a bad date. He said her apartment had caught fire but he put it out in time. But still he needed her to return to assess the damage etc. So when the girl returned to her building, she wondered if this James was still waiting for her. He had said he would be on the phone but that could be just part of the lie about the fire.

jaunty granite
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i need someone to check the structure

heady nova
bold sentinel
heady nova
heady nova
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Heyyy, there will be a writing book session today, check the events tab if you are interested, anddd get the book club role in #942012209146515496 wolf_thusky

crimson gale
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Before the game starts, you must put 4 chips on any cages on the first side of the board. After that you should throw a playing cube; if you are awarded a certain number of points, you must put a chip on the corresponding number of points on the board. But before this you must make sure, a chip is near of the awarded number which you got from a playing cube. If it isn't, you miss your turn.
The chips can't stand near if number bigger than 10 points, in this case if you got a number and you forced to move there. You must to decide which chip to put at the beginning of the board (from your side).
Also you can beat an enemy chip, but your chip must stand near of the enemy one, then you should throw the playing cube .The cube must be the certain number as cage on which is standing the enemy chip, if it so you can beat the enemy one.
P.S It's rules of the board game "Unoretta", can you correct me or make this text shorter.

heady nova
# crimson gale Before the game starts, you must put 4 chips on any cages on the first side of t...

Before the game starts, you must put 4 chips in any cage on the first side of the board. After that**,** you should throw a playing cube (by playing cube, do you mean a die (🎲)? i’m not sure what a playing cube is so i won’t correct this); if you are awarded a certain number of points, you must put a chip on the corresponding number of points on the board. Before this, you must make sure that a chip is near [removed word] the awarded number which you got from the playing cube (do you mean die here?) If it isn't, you miss your turn.
The chips can't be near [removed word] a number bigger than 10 points**. In** this case**,** if you got a number larger than 10 points you are forced to move there. You must to decide which chip to put at the beginning of the board (from your side).
You can also beat (consider using a word other than “beat” here) an enemy chip, but your chip must be near [removed word] the enemy one**. To knock an enemy chip off the board,** you must throw the playing cube (“die” instead of “playing cube”, unless you mean something different by “playing cube”) The cube must be the [removed word] number of the cage where the enemy chip is. If it is, the enemy must remove their chip from the board.

i wasn’t sure what you meant by playing cube so i didn’t correct your text, if you meant this thing: 🎲, then change “playing cube” to “die”.

i would recommend being more specific when you say “near”.

if you have any questions, ping me

crimson gale
heady nova
crimson gale
heady nova
crimson gale
heady nova
crimson gale
heady nova
crimson gale
gloomy folio
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", but since meeting him, he has seen, and as such can speak to, my work on the project."

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the commas in this sentence feel off to me

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The pause before "my work on the project" feels incorrect, while removing it makes saying the first portion of the phrase feel wrong.

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"but since meeting him, he has seen, and as such can speak to" makes me feel that there should be a pause after this, and yet when I add the clause afterwards, including the comma, it sounds wrong in my head

main compass
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A login issue occurring in certain conditions will be fixed.

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Does this make sense?

gloomy folio
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"A login issue occurring under certain conditions will be fixed."

main compass
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Thank you and you are a native speaker if you dont mind me asking?

gloomy folio
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yes

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When using a subordinating conjunction like "and" in that context, it should be preceded by a comma, also you could swap out "patch is in progress" for "it is in progress," as the subject is already stated and can be inferred.

If you include both of these changes, it would look like "The patch schedule may be subject to change, and you may experience intermittent disconnection or server instability while it is in progress."

main compass
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Man too good

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Thank you so much

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Where are you from?

gloomy folio
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Canada

main compass
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This is wonderful so fast

tough galleon
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Sky-news....

image.png
heady nova
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Can someone help me make my thesis statement more concise/shorter? Please @ me: “In his classic novella 𝘈𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘍𝘢𝘳𝘮, George Orwell demonstrates that equality amongst individuals is unattainable because humans are inherently self-centred, enforcing equality requires totalitarianism, and equality disregards intrinsic differences; which is important to society because contemporary politicians are often able to easily manipulate the public into believing that supporting them will result in an equal and utopian society, the main criticism of Orwell’s work”.

tough galleon
sweet locust
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hi!

tough galleon
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Sebastian is not a native speaker:p

scenic knot
# heady nova Can someone help me make my thesis statement more concise/shorter? Please @ me: ...

(I don't know how to @. And I can only give a go at correcting the punctuation.) In his classic novella 𝘈𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘍𝘢𝘳𝘮, George Orwell demonstrates that equality amongst individuals is unattainable because humans are inherently self-centred. Enforcing equality requires totalitarianism, and equality disregards intrinsic differences, which ARE important to society because contemporary politicians are often able to easily manipulate the public into believing that supporting them will result in an equal and utopian society. , the main criticism of Orwell’s work(That last comma makes no sense.) (Note: We usually say an equal and just society. I think a utopian society is intrinsically equal. )

main compass
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Is any native speaker around

hollow jackal
torn breach
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Hello,
"The first thing I did after landing, was go to one of the NFL games. "
Is this sentence correct ?
thanks in advance

heady nova
torn breach
meager token
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Hello world. I would like to meet a nativ english speeker. i am a nativ German. So i can teach a bit german

bleak flower
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What do you think about Social Media or Cellphone? In my opinion, they are ruining the society, We live together with them, We can't have either a minute of silence or loneliness, with ourselves...
Creativity, Imagination, concentration they are in danger.
Kids when they get bored use to use the cellphone, They only can change the word with their imagination.
People often compare with others, generating personality's problems, low selfsteem, etc.
No one does realizing?

twin compass
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About motivation. I think motivation isn't best tool for to reach your goals. Because sometimes you do something it's not because motivation, it's because you have too and there is no better choice.

In my opinion the best tools for your goals are dicipline and will. And these are hard-to-get tools and they need practice and patient to gain. And these tools are more effective and sustinable, cause they aren't depends on your feelings.

But dont get me wrong still I dont think motivation and dicipline are opposites. Motivation is very useful too but not for study. It useful to for getting enthusiasm.

I think these two tool are serve different things. Dicipline serve to study even when you don't feel good and doesnt have enthusiasm. And motivation is for gaining enthusiasm. So they complement each other. When you don't have enthusiasm dicipline will work and still you can study thanks to dicipline. But it's better to study with enthusiasm anyway.

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Proofreading pls. Thanks ✌️

heady nova
# bleak flower What do you think about Social Media or Cellphone? In my opinion, they are ruini...

What do you think about social media or cellphones? In my opinion, they are ruining our society**.** They are always with us, so we can't have either a minute of silence or loneliness [removed comma] .
Creativity, imagination, and concentration are in danger.
Kids use their cellphones when they get bored. They only can change the word with their imagination.
People often compare themselves with others, which causes personality problems, low self**-esteem**, etc.
Does no one realize?

heady nova
# twin compass About motivation. I think motivation isn't best tool for to reach your goals. Be...

About motivation. I think motivation isn't the best tool [removed word] to reach your goals. This is because sometimes you do something not because of motivation, but because you have to and there is no better choice.

In my opinion**,** the best tools to reach your goals are dicipline and will. These tools are hard to get and they require practice and patience to gain. These tools are more effective and sustainable than motivation, because they aren't dependent on your feelings.

Don’t get me wrong**,** [removed word] I don**’t think motivation and discipline are opposites. Motivation is very useful too,** but not for studying. Motivation is useful for getting enthusiasm.

I think these two tools are very different things. Discipline helps you study even when you don't feel good and don’t have enthusiasm. Motivation is for gaining enthusiasm. They complement each other. When you don't have enthusiasm**, discipline** will work and you can still study**, b**ut it's better to study with enthusiasm anyway.

twin compass
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Thanks a lot

hasty shell
heady nova
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Hello can anyone proofread my thesis based on the book “Animal Farm”, it will take 2-3 mins to read only. Preferably another native or someone with experience in literature and literary analysis. Please DM me, thanks.

pine shuttle
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Can someone here write some facts about "ANGLO SAXON"

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And how did they combine?

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I need an answer please

inner idol
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Is i think about someone or I think of someone are correct and the same

west rune
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**Hello! **What would you use in a sentence
"There is no reason to be alive if you can't do deadlift"
But instead of deadlifts, you use word stones.

Could you also say "There is no reason to be alive if you can't do stones" or would you use "can't lift stones?

Its an expression a very famous strongman once said a few decades ago. I've heard people, when it comes to training stones (lifting / putting them up on a platform), they usually say "Ok, we are doing deadlifts now, then we do some stones to end up the training session".

I would like to use "do stones" in that sentence, in order to have that core of the meaning. But dont know if its technically possible without making a grammatical mistake.
Thx!

bleak flower
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What is the intelligence? Why are there people more smarter than others? If I'm bad at maths, Am I stupid?
When I was young and I was primary school, I wasn't good at maths, people considered me slow, It was harder for me but I could highlight me in others branches like history, arts, geography, communication, etc. Society criticize other people because they aren't good at in logic or maths, I think it's stupid. I've known people good at drawing, singing, advising, writing. They don't have recognition that they deserve.
Intelligence there are many, not one.

warm pulsar
fair carbon
warm pulsar
main compass
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Any native speaker around?

warm pulsar
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Yes, but I’m going to school rn.

heady nova
rigid gust
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What is this supposed to be? Like what is the message the "ugly fairy" wants to say?

rigid gust
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Why should we be the one to leave? We're invited to this event much like you are.

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I'm sorry, I don't understand the third sentence.

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"Why should we be the ones to go? We're invited to this event much like you are. Being the fairy queen's daughter and having a beautiful face doesn't give you the authority to order us anything. If you hate seeing us so much, then feel free to leave."

west rune
heady nova
west rune
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They will understand. Its basically lifting stones. Its not the question I am asking for.

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Check World Strongest Man contest and search for "Atlas stones"

heady nova
lament matrix
# west rune **Hello! **What would you use in a sentence "There is no reason to be alive if y...

Hi! Well take this with a grain of salt because this is merely based on my opinion I'm not that good at English but no you can't (do) stones, you're 100% lifting them.. the verb do honestly doesn't work with the stones what are you doing with them?

In the sentence that you provided stones came after (some) and (deadlifts) so it's clear that you're lifting them too even without saying it, but in the main sentence that you're asking about. It's only do only so you're doing stones and that doesn't sound clear to anyone reading it I wouldn't think of lifting and would be confused.

It doesn't sound correct but maybe it's technically possible, why don't you go with lifting since it's safer and clearer? Hope this helped if even a little bit ^^

west rune
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Could be. Its one of the disciplines used in the sport and the most known one. And thats the stones. Everybody knows you lift them. This is mainly for the fitness strongman community and they 100% know what you talking about.
For example, You do deadlifts, you do rows, you do car walk, you do sandbags AND you do stones. So that was my approach to it, why it could be "Do stones".
Although it does not sound quite right to me in a stand-alone sentence. But yes, I guess I will use Lift stones in a stand-alone sentence.

scenic knot
# west rune **Hello! **What would you use in a sentence "There is no reason to be alive if y...

I had no idea why there was a supposedly famous quotation with a grammar mistake in it, so I googled it. The person responsible for this~~ famous~~ quote was not a native speaker. Grammatically speaking it should read: There is no reason to be alive if you can't do deadlifts. I also found out that doing a deadlift and lifting stones are different activities. The activity is actually called "lifting" stones. But that wasn't your question. What is the context? Do you want to use your new quote in casual conversation? If so, go ahead. "Do" is the go to verb for all kinds of expressions that might seem strange: let's do lunch, let's do shots. If you are trying to mirror the original quote, I can see why you want to use the expression "do stones". If you just want to make a grammatically correct sentence, you can use "lift stones" but I guess it wouldn't have the impact of the original quote.

scenic knot
# bleak flower What is the intelligence? Why are there people more smarter than others? If I'm ...

What is intelligence? Why are there people who are smarter than others? If I am bad at math, am I stupid? When I was young and in primary school, people considered me slow so it was harder for me but I could shine in other ways/subjects like history, art, ...Society criticizes people because they aren't good at logic or math, but I think that's stupid. I know people who are good at.....They don't get the recognition that they deserve. There are many kinds of intelligences, not just one.

scenic knot
# main compass A login issue occurring in certain conditions will be fixed.

For me, "certain conditions" is too vague, so I would omit it unless you can tell me what it means exactly. In the future please write the context. I guess you are responsible for writing these messages. The "ing" in the word "occurring" makes me think the issue continues. Is that the case or was it just one issue? Depending on the frequency of the login issues you could write: A login issue has occurred but will be fixed soon./ We are having login issues which will be fixed soon. Obviously, you can drop the "soon" lol.

west rune
scenic knot
west rune
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👌

heady nova
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I am writing a paragraph with the topic: how greed makes equality impossible in the book Animal Farm. I need significant editing with the main goal being to make it more sophisticated and complex. I need to incorporate more advanced terminology and make it sound more complex as a whole because I have the arguments in place, just need to make them sound better. Also, you can give feedback for clarity.https://pastebin.com/gwJqftSF

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Please DM me if you work on it!

warped scaffold
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Can anyone help me by proofreading my writing and giving me advice?

Who is your favorite actress?
How do you know her?

My favorite actress is Lee Lin. I know her because three years ago, it was in the middle of summer – mid-July, to be exact. One afternoon, I was hanging around at home and was so bored that I decided to go out and wander the streets. Around the corner I came across the grand opening of a bookstore. I felt like I should check out this new place. While I was walking around in the bookstore, I saw a book and picked it up. I gave it a read and I saw a person in the book and that person was the actress I have been talking about.

scenic knot
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(After "because" you need a subject and a verb and probably an object. You only have a subject.) I know her because three years ago, it was in the middle of summer – mid-July, to be exact.

scenic knot
vast plover
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I'm a college student and i have many projects to do and this time I'd like to tell you about my assignment which i completed with my college friend whose name is Ali. We got assignment that we had to find out how many types of people live in Pakistan. We searched and found that generally there are two types of people live in Pakistan firstly islamic people and secondly worldly people. We divided the work my job was to research on islamic people and Ali's job was to research on worldly people we had to complete this assignment in 2 days we both worked hard and completed the assessment and got 35 marks out of 40 from our teacher at that moment i was on the moon i can't express my feelings here right now

heady nova
# vast plover I'm a college student and i have many projects to do and this time I'd like to t...

I'm a college student**,** and I have many projects to do**. This time I'd like to tell you about my assignment which I completed with my college friend whose name is Ali. We got assignment where we had to find out how many types of people live in Pakistan. We did research and found that generally there are two types of people that live in Pakistan. The first group is islamic people, and the second group is worldly people.** We divided the work**;** my job was to research on islamic people**,** and Ali's job was to research on worldly people**. We had to complete this assignment in 2 days. We both worked hard,** completed the assessment**,** and got 35 marks out of 40 from our teacher**. At that moment, I** was on the moon**. I** can't express my feelings here right now**.**

scenic knot
vast plover
vast plover
solar token
# twin compass About motivation. I think motivation isn't best tool for to reach your goals. Be...

Well, I have found that motivation and emotions have the same link towards to performance. I mean, when you are motivated you have more physical and mental energy. At this point you must realize that human beings are emotional beings, and a precisely example are kids; when a kid has problems in family you can easily find out something is wrong, you see on him the common symptoms: distraction, difficult to focus, difficult to memorize simple things and no participation because the presence of problems cause this unbalance in emotions, and of course motivation. You may wondering why I choose kids, well the same effects occurs in adults. About your point in Discipline and Will, I don't get how to train those "tools" I mean, I figured out trying to do some task like studying when your dog passed away? O worse, a family member. Under those circumstances and the effect of sadness can you think clear?, can you pay attention and keep learning? When you had a bad day, for example you crash your car, you fail a test or simply everything didn't work out as expected, can you still learn? can you simply live and enjoy as any another normal day? In my experience I wasn't able to do that. I do not know If I'm weak but I have seen the same result with the people around me. My suggestion for all of you learners is to train emotions, because the same way the body gets shape with training, you get the same with emotions. This is my personal conclusion that I came this far with my 28 years old, I'm a Latin boy who speaks spanish as main language and english but still learning too.

scenic knot
scenic knot
young wagon
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..

lament matrix
lament matrix
devout burrow
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any one can hack me 🙂