horrible advice/ideas

[unique edge]

this isn’t even a bad tip

[void pike]

And call it pgc 1573895030499684 and say it was 17th magnitude

[lusty basin]

if your camera isn’t cooling to a good enough temperature quick enough , get a bowl of water and ice and put the camera in there for 5 mins , you’ll be sweet in no time

[versed current]

And if it's still too warm, just pour a little bit on it every few minutes and it will be fine.

If it doesn't capture images after this, you've either made it too cold and wet and need to put it in hot rice with the shutter open to dry it out, or your signal is just too pure and accurate for us humans to see. The lizard government will see you as a threat as you will discover the night sky is a lie, and they shut down your camera remotely

[minor nebula]

maybe microwave works better

[queen peak]

collimation isn't real

[exotic mesa]

That's definitely true for light pollution

[bronze flame]

5. Buy a metal detector and start a second hobby

[void pike]

why does it not let me react to your comments tp lol

[bronze flame]

Why

[bronze flame]

Oh dear

[rancid halo]

Theres no difference whether you get ar or ir uv cut glass on your camera as itll make no difference to your images

[light bramble]

The best time to record DSO is when the sun is at its brightest in the sky as the sun will help with brightness 🌞

The only camera in the world that will capture stunning pictures of all the planets and also all the dso in the night sky is with a Nokia 3210 phone 📱

[void pike]

Oh. Pls I'm different lol. I'll change it

[storm wind]

lmfao

[burnt fossil]

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1165332500948730009/1183193484568559708/Screenshot_20231208_163451_Discord.png?ex=658771cd&is=6574fccd&hm=030a41b9d98599b800d16c0e52f54b4c05d03284f554c359d5df790c3763e827&

Guys be careful

[open socket]

👍

[plain estuary]

make sure to really tighten your primary mirror clamps so it doesn't move and ruin your collimation

[open socket]

Create cracks in your mirrors for easy diffraction spikes 👍

[bronze flame]

I can't tell if this is real or a joke since its posted in the bad advice channel

[burnt fossil]

No its real

Sry

I didn t have time so i shared it here

[bronze flame]

Ah okay thanks

[void pike]

Oke

There we go

[plain estuary]

if doing ap on summer, place your entire imaging train in the freezer before going outside, this will reduce dark current and atmospheric wobble in the ota

[rancid halo]

ooooooor, just make a LN2 bath where your rig bathes in for the entire night

[plain estuary]

but that's the rich guy option

for us with low budgets we use the freezer

[queen peak]

air duster liquid is the poor mans liquid nitrogen

[pale lark]

Liquid butane is another easy and safe solution (DISCLAMER: this is just a joke, don't dip your OTA in butane or you might explode)

[pale lark]

Sorry guys I had to put the disclaimer bc I don't wanna get banned

[versed current]

For larger rigs (which are a waste of money, by the way), you can always ask your local butcher if you can use theirs. This also has the benefit of being able to leave the entire rig set up, and you only need move it outside. Much easier than reassembling it over and over again.

[storm wind]

completely ruined the joke

[pale lark]

Yeah I know but a dude got banned the other day for a similar reason

[storm wind]

no disclaimer needed because all we post is good advice

[pale lark]

Ik he was in this thread

And still got banned

[calm spire]

Unlucky haha

[plain estuary]

be sure to lick your optical surfaces clean of any dust

[bronze flame]

This makes me feel physically sick

[pale lark]

seasoned eyepiece

[bronze flame]

Use an AltAz to do deep space, and try to get a high arcsec tracking If possible, around 20

[void pike]

Cus ya know. The higher a number the better

[marsh skiff]

Use a Nikon D3100 for astrophotography

[vast pilot]

use a (any dslr here) for astrophotography

[bronze flame]

Feel like that's targeted lmao, I use a d3100

[marsh skiff]

I used to use one

[bronze flame]

It's not a bad camera, it's not the best

[marsh skiff]

It

[bronze flame]

@marsh skiff huh?

Plus for a beginner I haven't found it too bad, I'm used to the camera already and had it lying around 🤷‍♂️

[marsh skiff]

I lost so many clear nights to that camera not cooperating

[marsh skiff]

I started out with it, it was alright, but ended up almost quitting because of that damn camera

It's alright until you hit the limitations

[bronze flame]

🤷‍♂️

[marsh skiff]

That camera gave me PTSD

[hard vortex]

Settle for only 1 rig

[lusty basin]

Don’t you have 4 rigs

I remember you telling me

[hard vortex]

And thus why its horrible advice

[void pike]

If you are starting off, buy a 8" rasa for visual. Gives great views

[grave cobalt]

I get 2 ... why 4?

[hard vortex]

Travel rig
Main DSO rig
Secondart DSO and Pano rig
Planets rig
I mean when you get a eq6 for $500 are you going to be that fussed about why

[umbral widget]

need a good mount for it
eq1 is great for it

[void pike]

AZ gti is better

[void pike]

But both good options. A camera tripod could be even better

[umbral widget]

hand held is pefectly fine too

[void pike]

That is true

And while being handheld, be doing a handstand so you get rid of the flip that occurs due to the RASA design

[umbral widget]

oh right
that is true

should get a 1mm + 2x + 5x barlow for ultimate viewing

or you could use a 1.2mm ep for widefield

[void pike]

Now I want an ai to make a pic of all our recommendations

[umbral widget]

lmaoo

[pale lark]

If you do photography with your phone, make sure to use the newer ones

[pale lark]

I've noticed that more modern phones have some AI/compression stuff in the camera software that makes the subs just flat black

[pale lark]

The modern ones are worse though

With my dad's phone, which is ~5yo, you get jpg data almost as good as raw

[pale lark]

Ik, but, from my experience, newer phones are worse

Specially Oppos

[odd glade]

your dad is a 5yo?

[pale lark]

Yeah sure

[odd glade]

what

👶

[void pike]

Future 5yo

[pale lark]

He will be born in 5 years

[queen peak]

call it jif instead of gif

[storm wind]

and then look at the suggestions right below that contradict that claim

i also have personally never heard one person pronounce it jif

[pale lark]

Where I live everyone says jif

[plain estuary]

https://tenor.com/view/low-tier-god-mods-crush-his-skull-gif-15067477579594302441

[hard vortex]

I say moving pictures like a normal person.

[jovial scroll]

so why is this the no3 worst place?

What are no2 and 1

[open socket]

Create a virus so deadly it causes people to stay inside to allow the french climate activist world order to take over to remove humans from the great outdoors allowing you to enjoy the reduced light pollution for a good 2 weeks (years)

[mint loom]

Put you equipment on fire to avoid dew

[void pike]

i can testify it works. Flame Nebula really pops out with this imaging methodology

[hard vortex]

Just let it go for too long and your images look pretty cooked

[marsh skiff]

Side effect: your stars might have some funky spikes. I personally like them

[umbral widget]

you should actively talk about having clear skies so that the clouds will know you feel good and go away

[void pike]

instead of getting a corrector for flipped views through your telescope, do a handstand while viewing to negate it

[sturdy mango]

Go to mount Everest best place for ap

[pale lark]

Bortle 1 with no atmosphere at all is the right choice for sure

[sturdy mango]

But if you survive

[round bison]

At this point you should use the telescope on a boat, preferably on a windy day
And put your camera in a microwave first
It makes it more efficient :))

[pale lark]

Maybe going out with a professional gimbal on a sufficiently large boat wouldn't be a bad idea

At least there isn't light pollution at all

[queen peak]

eat 2 bricks

[void pike]

Eat a powerseeker

[pale lark]

Eat an Eq-8 pro

[jovial scroll]

Eat a GM4000

[tough osprey]

Hang your telescope upside down from the porch roof to get flipped images

[void pike]

put a california reaper inside your scope while taking images of M40 to make em spicy

[tough osprey]

Stick in a tarantula at the aperture to get the best diffraction spikes

[timber spade]

wrap several layers of cling film over the front of your scope to protect ot from dust

[open socket]

Pour Sulfuric Acid on your sensor to make it more sensitive to SII

[ivory vessel]

Engrave a crosshair on your primary mirror for easier collimation

[hearty violet]

Put your camera into the freezer for 4 hours minimum to get rid of hot pixels

[jovial scroll]

you'd be surprised

[pale lark]

cursed bathimov mask

[open socket]

Solar Image in UV without a solar filter to give your sensor a tan.

For legal reasons I have to tell you to please not do this at all.

[bronze flame]

I don't understand?

[pseudo raft]

As your first atrophoto, photograph the dwarf planet Eris

[bronze flame]

I can see that going very well

[wide mesa]

Fill your newtonian with water to slow down photons and get longer exposure. BlurXTerminator will do the rest 😉

[unique edge]

mag 18.69 💀

[open socket]

go to b1 and only take 4 minutes of data

you dont need that much 🤷

[mossy marsh]

i went to b1 and got 18 mins

[open socket]

better than what id prolly end up doing 😭

[light crater]

Do dsap with solar filter

[timber spade]

guys your forgetting the point of this fourm fr

[mossy marsh]

It's turning into unorthodox things to do

[open socket]

Wear a welding mask to look at the sun.

[slender forge]

the best telescope EVER is the Celestron Powerseeker 127EQ motor BUY IT NOW it beats the 20' dobs

[umbral widget]

better yet use the 20" dob as the finder scope for the 127eq

[slender forge]

ikr lol

[rare gust]

You'll never encounter frustration with this constant opportunity hobby

[umbral widget]

• clean lens optics with a tissue paper and hydrochloric acid
• you should always clean it in this manner every 2-3 seconds

fun fact collimation is a myth peace out the fbi coming for me

[slender forge]

Really? I use bleach and a plunger

[void pike]

You know how everyone says the larger the eyepiece you have the better, just use the front part of your scope as your eyepiece and let the eyepiece collect light

[slender forge]

GENIUS

sandpaper is good aswell tbh

[sand stag]

@thick epoch when cleaning A reflector telescope just put it in the bathtub. It’s honestly easier

That’s probably not even a joke

[marsh skiff]

wat

[minor nebula]

use an redcat 51 for planetary imaging and use an c14 as finderscope. Also attach an nokia gsm to the redcat to get better results than an planetary camera. these things arent worth the money

[thick epoch]

I usually recommend licking the mirrors clean since it is the most efficient method and will always give the best results.

[sand stag]

Yeah, that might honestly work

[sand stag]

Any advice for cleaning refractors?

[minor nebula]

with an steel brush you will be fine

[sand stag]

Ah thx bro

[thick epoch]

https://tenor.com/view/trash-garbage-rubbish-bin-taking-out-the-trash-gif-15540423

[sand stag]

ah s##t never thought about that. Thanks

[thick epoch]

You are most welcome. Always remember to dispose of your refractor correctly!

[sand stag]

Do I recycle?

[slender forge]

Guys, I've found it: The Earth IS Flat and the entire universe orbits Earth

[minor nebula]

cool!

[sand stag]

That’s a horrible theory

[minor nebula]

how did you found it

[sand stag]

*find

[minor nebula]

sorry

[sand stag]

I don’t mean to be that guy I have just chosen violence today

[thick epoch]

Incorrect.

[slender forge]

brooo

[sand stag]

[thick epoch]

Sausage Earth.

[slender forge]

OMG ALL MY EQUATIONS HAVE BEEN FALSE ALL ALONG!!! I NOW HAVE FOUND THE TRUE MEANING TO LIFE: sausage.

[sand stag]

Sincere on the topic of theories instead of advice/ideas

This is not actually a black hole. This is what it’s like to be born.

[minor nebula]

if english was my main language i would probably have spelled it correctly

[sand stag]

All good

[minor nebula]

Lucky me. I thought you were gonna kill me

[umbral widget]

you should image in the rain as it cools the camera down (the rain drops on the optics add bokeh effects real)

[slender forge]

I actually thought that I was in general chat and u was actually considering it cuz there's rain for the next 2 weeks here 💀

[umbral widget]

LMAO

you should always make sure to whistle at the skin walker staring at you while you fiddle with your powerseeker 127eq on the am5 with a iphone 1 mini attached to it

eq mount on an eq mount dual expert tracking 👐

[minor nebula]

😂😂

[void pike]

put your eq mount on a wedge for even better tracking

[minor nebula]

And put your wedge on an ballhead on an startracker for even better guiding

[burnt fossil]

Well i use gallium and some nitrogen triiodide

To clean up the telescope

Trust me this is very good method

[flat kite]

Go to a star party and start turning one bright white lamps to help everyone see better. They will really appreciate it 👍

And while your at it start using a flashlight to inspect everyone’s telescope

[void pike]

Especially through the front lense. Any amateur astronomer appreciates someone checking their scope for dust motes

[hard vortex]

Remember to install the strobe light on a sound trigger

[frosty kindle]

Point ur telescope to the sun without any filter while using the most expsenive camera connected to it u will get a hot pictures

The photo get hotter the bigger the scope is

[bronze flame]

(Please never look at the sun without a solar filter)

[frosty kindle]

Yea dont actual unless if u want to turn anyhing into lava

[minor nebula]

Take your dobsonian to an cave which is filled with 1 meter of water. Put your dob in the water. you will get very good results. mainly because the mirror is cooled down and its very dark in the cave

[frosty kindle]

It even better in the mariana trench

[flat kite]

The intense pressure will help get rid of any dents in your tube

[frosty kindle]

Put somme tinfoil on ur mirror it help with the reflectiveness

[flat kite]

Put some on your head as well to make sure you don’t get abducted by aliens in the middle of the night 👀

[pastel peak]

Buy solar panels from Amazon as the description of their performance by the manufacturer is guaranteed to be accurate.

[odd glade]

Absolutely annihilate your scope with a sledge hammer and flame thrower for absolutely nothing. Thanks.

[frosty kindle]

The hotter ur telescope mirror the better it will perform

[jovial scroll]

I know right, that's the entire purpose of dew heaters

[slender forge]

Space looks better through a window

Also make sure to sandpaper your lenses and mirrors!

[wide mesa]

Perfect telescope to start https://www.astrosysteme.com/en-us/products/az2500-f6-f2/

Just make sure to reinforce your balcony

7 millions dollars 😂

[warm fractal]

kick your scope 5 times for best polar aligment, and punch your camera

[patent herald]

Take up astronomy in the UK.

[minor nebula]

now i see this my c14 is small...

[minor nebula]

it has an focal length of 15000 mm at f/6

[odd glade]

Tore your telescope with a shovel into many little pieces apart. It will absolutely do nothing

[frosty kindle]

If ur telescope setup overweights ur mount just remove the counter weight it will reduce the payload weight

[wide mesa]

Give a little kick in your tripod between exposure to dither

[astral raft]

Ok this one is actually funny

[lusty basin]

scratch your whole lense with knife , it’ll give you a whole new layer of fresh clean glass!

[wide mesa]

Run as fast as you can wearing earplugs to avoid walking noise

[wheat glade]

Remove the “hypodermic plastic protection layer” of your primary mirror with a steak knife. Might take a few try’s but you will get it after a few scrapes. Will make your images literally cracked.

[lethal otter]

Buy a powerseeker because they are powerful pieces of equipment.

[timber spade]

most people get dobsonians confused. the big tube is the finder and the small one is the very precise scope

[stuck cloak]

clouds are our friends!

[tough osprey]

Put you scope in rice to get rid of the dew. Trust me, it works every time.

[frosty kindle]

It give more detail to the image the more cloud there is

[wide mesa]

Please run signalXterminator on your must valuable images, don't forget to delete the original data for the best result.

Nothing more exciting than the stellar view of random noise 🥰

[burnt sphinx]

Taking pictures with a smart telescope is the true astrophotography

[open socket]

Put your 8” on a 2i

[wide mesa]

Stare at the night sky eyes open without blinking to get beautiful long exposure 😵
Don't forget to turn your head VERY slowly to avoid star trails 😉

[void pike]

Also once you reach a 90 angle, meridian flip

[hard vortex]

style points if you do it via twisted backflip

[void pike]

If you want to save your image, do an optogram

(Just search up what that is yourself)

[wide mesa]

Omg that is really funny 🤣

[void pike]

Thanks lol haha

[wide mesa]

Man, so you have to really choose your target ^^ one eye to get your shot, one eye to look at it 😂

[void pike]

Imagine wasting a two image chance on something like m31☠️

[queen peak]

hoags object 1st target

[wide mesa]

Easy setup for beginners, the dragonfly.
The processing is smoother than you think

[rare gust]

"horrible advice /idea's" : it's cheap to get into AP 😂

[frozen sail]

why cant i find any images taken with the dragonfly

or maybe its used for research only

[burnt sphinx]

Use a 2" refractor with 2 5x barlow lenses stacked on top of each other to get amazingly sharp images of planets

[rare gust]

You can gather 33 minutes in a single 1 minute exposure, bonkers!

[lethal otter]

Store 2tb of data on a hard drive and try process images from it.

[wide mesa]

😂😂 looks like it

[wide mesa]

https://www.dragonflytelescope.org/gallery.html mostly for research

Get the most expensive telescope you can buy, the cheapest mount and a tripod for smartphone.
The combo will work like a charm

[lusty basin]

i assume this has actually happened to some people before

[lusty basin]

no ik but sone people defo have quit bc they can’t get what JWST does

ely

surely

someone out there has

[wide mesa]

I mean, go to space and your resolution will be better for sure, just matter of doing it

[lusty basin]

yeah

[sturdy mango]

Atach an 20mm f20 refractor behind a newt this will give it more magnification and it's the best eyepiece

[wide mesa]

Oh, I haven't tried that yet

[timber spade]

you forgot to mention the alignment and how it is practically perfect and doesn't need to be re aligned!

[flat kite]

Just make a telescope with a 62 mile focal length so that it will be long enough to stretch into space.

[wide mesa]

Oh that's a good one, a telescope so large that it is affected by universe expansion, you get a free inches every billion of years 😉

[void pike]

Replace your newtonian mirror with a vacuum. it will bring in more light that way

[queen peak]

use a joy con camera for astro

[mossy marsh]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9FpfBtGNq8

follow this guide

[sonic sonnet]

Wdym this is great advice

I do this 7 times a week with all my cameras, works like a charm

[wide mesa]

Stay up all night screaming at your neighbors from your balcony so they switch off their white lights. You will make good friends 😉

[burnt sphinx]

Always image in the daylight, especially deep space objects. It will give the a lot of contrast and make the background look really nice plus it can completely remove light pollution!

[full spear]

25600 iso is the best becouse you capture more light!

[burnt sphinx]

No because 102 thousand is better

[wide mesa]

Always +1 ISO of what you say 😂

You will love doing dark frames: cover the front on your telescope using your hands, with the best of your abilities, and do you 100x5min exposure. Good luck

[lusty basin]

do visual with a roki

[versed current]

Remember, if you can't see it visually, you can't photograph it.

[flat kite]

If you are at a star party, and you really have to go pee, and there is no restrooms or trees, just go in someone else’s dob. They won’t mind

[burnt sphinx]

Make sure when you leave your scope for the night that the forsty stuff covers your mirror to get sharper images and to collect more light

[grave cobalt]

👀

.... I can't say anything about what's on that scope .... see this post #🔭-astrophotography-chat message

[marsh skiff]

Hah that's nothing

[grave cobalt]

That reminds me. What should I do for setting my minipc outside? Right now it would just be on a table, shouldn't I cover it to help stop frost/dew from forming?

[marsh skiff]

Run Cyberpunk 2077 while imaging. It'll get real hot, no worry about condensation

Max graphic settings, RTX ON

[grave cobalt]

Get a minipc with an Intel Celeron processor. They run really fast

[burnt sphinx]

Yeah i once played ksp rss/ro while imaging

[open socket]

Thats nothing, one night I had a literal Icicle formed on the counterweight shaft's bottom.

about an inch long, and bulbous as heck

[marsh skiff]

Lets see Paul Allen's ice

https://tenor.com/view/yes-gif-18412682

[open socket]

you think i took a picture of myself eating it?

I ate that sonvabitch

THE ICETRO IS NOW IN MY VEINS

Probably why I caught tetanus aswell

[frosty kindle]

Telescope weight dont affect anything putting a celestron c14 on a eq2 would work fine

[lusty basin]

throw your rig at the wall

[light needle]

Point a flashlight at dim space objects to make them brighter

[frozen sail]

use a laser pointer to know where your telescope is aiming, but make sure that you also aim your telescope at airplanes while doing that (it enhances the view)

[bronze flame]

(Please do not point lasers at planes, the police will not be happy)

[lusty basin]

wipe your scopes lense with a towel that’s been rubbed in gravel , it really makes it clean!

[wide mesa]

Set the focus of your telescope by observing your neighbors in daylight, when you clearly see them screaming at you, you reached focus.

[mossy marsh]

you should 3d print a t-ring

i did it

[void pike]

3d print your sensor

[queen peak]

3d print 5 bricks

[void pike]

And eat them

[bronze flame]

Just 3d print everything at this point

[void pike]

Just use a metal 3d printer

[void pike]

Ask relativity space what their rockets and engines are made of. Ask rocket lab what their engines are made of lol. Would be very inefficient for cars tho since assembly needs to be very fast unlike rockets

[wide mesa]

Stack 2 dobsonian with duck tape to see far and beyond

[grave cobalt]

Use a macro lens for imaging, it makes everything look so much bigger.

[sturdy mango]

Use fogger on your telescope

[unique edge]

boil your telescope in water, it prevents dew

(please do not follow this information)

[marsh skiff]

Clean your telescope with glass cleaner

[open socket]

Clean your telescope with epoxy resin

[marsh skiff]

Clean your telescope with sulfuric acid

[open socket]

Clean your telescope with anabolic steroids

[jolly inlet]

Clean you scope with anti matter

[queen peak]

clean your scope with a brick

[frosty kindle]

3d print plastic straws and eat them to prove that we are better than the turtle

[umbral widget]

clean your telescope using your clammy hands
natural cleaning solution we make 100% effective

[open socket]

Clean your telescope with a fork

[plain estuary]

.

[unique edge]

you should use a vacuum cleaner to focus your telescope

[jolly inlet]

Clean your scope with a knife

[open socket]

Clean your telescope with the gun I used to shoot myself in the back of the head 5 times after I leak the things the CIA did to astronomers during the 1950s

[wide mesa]

Clean your telescope with your other telescope

[mossy marsh]

you should buy astrobackyards processing guide

you should buy Bray Falls processing guide

[void pike]

get topaz ai to enhance your pictures

[open socket]

first step: open photoshop and equip your brush tool, this really brings out the oii arc

[versed current]

Na, just fill your scope with petrol, don't bother with ai. The petrol gives better results

[void pike]

Step one is to buy ms paint

[odd glade]

Detonate a nuclear weapon to blow all clouds in your surrounding away. Have fun with 7 days, or longer, of clear skies!

[frozen sail]

make sure you wear aluminum foil clothing to protect yourself from the radioactivity

[void pike]

Nah

[wide mesa]

Work if you don't blow your gear or even burn your electronic with the EMP impulse

[hard vortex]

Astro gear I can promise will survive, the power brick might, the grid should,

[wide mesa]

Use an EMP device to reboot the ASIair Plus

[jovial scroll]

take long exposure pictures without tracking, you could just derotate them later in winjupos.

[full spear]

The more shutters on a DSLR the riper it gets. Cameras under 50k shutters are just bad.

[open socket]

Use a megawatt ruby laser to collimate your scope

[void pike]

Use a green laser to collimate and look through the focuser

[mossy marsh]

you should join this thread

[void pike]

Wat

[lethal otter]

Use a jackhammer to collimate

[flat kite]

Nah use a gun to collimate

Or you could get heat ray vision like Superman and use that

[open socket]

Collimate using the sun [for legal reasons I have to tell you not to do this without a proper solar filter.]

[plain estuary]

hmm yes, you see the heat bends the optics into the most optimal shape

(obvious disclamer to not do it, i don't want to get banned)

[flat kite]

I don’t think you’ll get banned

This is litterally the bad ideas forum

So now people will know not to do it

[pastel peak]

Oh sweet summer child, a "person" is smart. "People" are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.

[flat kite]

*so now persons will no not to do it

[queen peak]

you click on horrible advice/ideas and do it that's your problem lol

[marsh skiff]

The sun removes hot, cold, and dead pixels

It's called solar therapy. Fixes sensors

[odd glade]

If you image in the Infra Red range, use a UV/IR cut filter to not have bloated stars

[plain estuary]

Not taking any risks lol

[astral raft]

eat your telescope

[versed current]

It will improve your vision

Alternatively replace your eyes with them to see in 8k

[turbid plover]

Give your rig a small shove to make sure guiding is working well😉 👌🏼

https://tenor.com/view/stonks-chart-stocks-going-up-gif-15813050

[void pike]

Instead of wasting money on a tracking mount and guider, just adjust the tripod legs manually for equaly matched or even better guiding!

[plain estuary]

uv/ir cut your eyes

[marsh skiff]

Remove bayer filter from your eyes

It allows you to see more

[pale lark]

glasses

[astral raft]

genius!!

[lusty basin]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eye Joe
I'd been married long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

[mossy marsh]

change your camaras bayer matrix to GRRB

[hard vortex]

Change your bayer matrix to cmyk for better colors

[frozen sail]

instead of getting a monochrome camera, make your color pictures black and white on photoshop, it makes your data 4x better

[versed current]

goes ham on harmonica

[timber spade]

instead of making a treally big telescope just make a pin hole telescope to remove the need to focus and also being albe to just hold it in your hand very easy and have easy zoom ajustment

[void pike]

Instead of collimating, just cover most of your telescope to make it slower resulting in better stars plus no need for collimating

[lusty basin]

quit astro , saves you time , more sleep , saves money and makes your life easier

[unique edge]

more sleep?

I don’t get any of that anyway

[lusty basin]

true same here

[stuck cloak]

Put all your data on an SD card and stick it in your computer. This makes processing take way less time than if the files are on you hard drive. (I did this a few days ago not even kidding 💀)

[mossy marsh]

Putting my images from my camaras sd card to my laptop was actually faster

[stuck cloak]

I know, that's why I said the opposite because it's the horrible advice thread 🤦‍♂️

[queen peak]

leave an sd card outside for 4 months

[marsh skiff]

I un ironically do this

Wait nvm I misread that

I use an SD card for file transfer from my imaging pc to main pc

[mossy marsh]

buy an asiair and do narrowband

[versed current]

I don't have a usb cable to transfer from my DSLR so I use another camera as a card reader 🙃

[minor nebula]

if you want to clean your corrector plate without scratching it. follow my steps:

1. take out your corrector plate. Many people will say you have to mark it, but it does not make any sense. You really dont have to mark its postition.
2. put some duct tape on the secondary mirror so it doesnt get wet and dirty.
3. now sprinkle some hydrochloric acid on the corrector as it will burn of any dust or dirt.
4. to ensure youre corrector plate is clean, just pick an steel brush to clean the wet hydrochloric acid.
5. remove the tape from the mirror and you are ready to go, (ofcourse after replacing the corrector plate)

[topaz sedge]

flip your telescope upside down and then you can use it as a microscope

[pale lark]

Invert the primary and secondary mirror, it works better

[warm fractal]

Use a 16 inch Newtonian on a basic photo tripod head

[versed current]

That is, use a convex parabolic mirror as opposed to concave

[unique bloom]

drive your honda accord in to a power line transformer to reduse light polution around your house

[versed current]

Genuinely best advice given on this channel to the point where it should not be here this is the bad advice channel

For legal reasons, this is a joke

[unique bloom]

My bad

[grave cobalt]

I know that this is supposed to be "horrible advice/ideas" but that's actually a good one. Hard soles transmit more vibration

[astral raft]

If you don't have a telescope but you do have a microscope, just invert the microscope and you should be able to do DSO astrophotography with it

[wide mesa]

And that conclude this channel 😂

[surreal tartan]

travel to a level 9 light polution area for deep sky, the light really illuminates the nebula

[wide mesa]

Travel to a bortle 1 location to do your calibration frames

[topaz sedge]

dont view a lunar eclipse when the moon is out. the eclipse will be drowned out by the moon

[unique bloom]

dont forget to take your camera of the telescope and wipe yout sensor clean before taking flat frames, dust will make spots on your frames

[plain estuary]

max out the offset and the gain on your ccd to get as much s/n as possible and really nice colours

[pale lark]

buy this "professional telescope"

[frozen sail]

and use it as a baseball bat

https://tenor.com/view/vladimir-gurrero-jr-vladdy-jr-vladimir-guerrero-jr-gif-25655674

[mossy marsh]

Sir that's good advice

This is #1147789218983186462

Mods ban him

[stiff quiver]

Run starnet++ in SIRIL before doing photometric color calibration.

[plain estuary]

https://tenor.com/view/low-tier-god-mods-crush-his-skull-gif-15067477579594302441

[odd glade]

https://tenor.com/view/ltg-british-food-mods-low-tier-god-gif-9108075214677777615

[plain estuary]

a fate worse than death

[unique edge]

please do not attempt

[mossy marsh]

need to point the rifle the other way

so you can shoot the things youre looking at and call it a new discovery!

[unique edge]

no no

that’s how you defend against the coyotes

or the bears

at your bortle 1 campsite

[unique bloom]

Leve your rig outside in the rain to clean it

[grave cobalt]

Not sure how to rate the fact that I can actually identify the firearm in the photo ...

[unique edge]

it’s a mosin nagant 1898 iirc?

also

[plain estuary]

shoot for the stars they said

[low tundra]

How to convert Manual Mount to EQ mount?

[mossy marsh]

Step 1. Laugh at yourself
Step 2. Continue laughing at yourself

[versed current]

Define manual

You can have a manual EQ you know

[light needle]

Step 1. Get a 70mm powerseeker
Step 2. Get a 8in tracking telescope and only take the barlow lense and discard of it
Step 3. Using the 2x barlow and a 5mm lenses observe galaxies that are billions of light years away.
Step 4. Use a flashlight to make the galaxies even brighter, then send your results to nasa

[trail island]

so i was thinking about this thread, why it is so popular. I think people just like giving advice in general

[queen peak]

i dunno

i think its just a collection of impulsive thoughts to do idiotic things, not sure tho

[astral raft]

People like this thread because it's a safe space to get out all of our dumbest ideas, roiling and ricocheting around our Astro nerd brains.

[mossy marsh]

sir this is horrible advice

[astral raft]

Exactly, a place for all of our dumbest ideas

like I said

[shrewd mauve]

If you're using a stock camera and can't pick up red hydrogen emissions you can always use a semitransparent red brush in Photoshop to paint them in.

[pale lark]

Or spray the sensor with red paint to make a narrowband filter

[humble ruin]

increase voltage to mount for better tracking

[distant gulch]

Just download someone's data and process it. It's totally still yours, just without the hassle of taking the images.

Or heck why do that, use AI, it's 100% original and you can claim you discovered something

[topaz sedge]

i dont get tracking mounts just stop the earths rotation smh

[vale junco]

Buy the free telescope off of temu

[grave cobalt]

I saw this, went "wait, what? Free telescope? What's Temu? Some brand?" Then I remembered what Temu is and what thread I'm on. THANKS.

[void pike]

Put earmuffs on your camera and telescope so the noise is less evident

[unique bloom]

When cleaning optics, use a kitchen scrubby to make sure everything gets of

[pale lark]

Just shoot one short exposure jpeg sub for your DSOs. If you take multiple longer exposures, all the noise will add up

[topaz sedge]

Why waste your time taking multiple subs when you can stack 1 sub multiple times

[burnt sphinx]

Shoot galaxies with an apparent size of less than 1 arcminute because it means that you have to only shoot for less than a minute to get a nice shot of it

[alpine glade]

make sure to image deep sky objects under moon light so it can make them brighter

[pale lark]

I'd recommend you try with arcsecond galaxies

Even better

[burnt sphinx]

Yes

[distant gulch]

Put a flashlight by the end of your telescope, that makes things brighter!

[violet trout]

Turn off your mount after pointing to an object, this will improve the tracking

[distant gulch]

Use a star remover when imaging clusters

[pale lark]

Fill your scope with epoxy, so there won't be any air in it and you won't have to wait for it to cool

[umbral widget]

get the flu and image so you get sick shots 😎

[dapper gorge]

no time for calibration frames? Just download one black and one white image

[versed current]

Water also works

Or jelly

Push your primary mirror forward. This reduces the distance to the end of the tube so you don't have to cool it and there is less atmosphere in front of it.

All telescopes are longer than needed because big telescope wants you to waste space and give them more money

[pale lark]

I actually got the flu but still went out last evening LMAO

[distant gulch]

Spray your mirror with windex occasionally to keep that shine peak 👨‍🦼

[queen peak]

put over 1000 hours into kerbal space program instead of sleeping or going outside or something

[marsh skiff]

Pushing the primary mirror forward actually is a good idea sometimes, but these are the wrong reasons

[versed current]

Ik

[distant gulch]

Collimate your telescope straight up, so it will catch anything you drop for you

[sonic sonnet]

Worth it

[umbral widget]

Lol

[distant gulch]

Trust this thread, it's got tons of useful information on getting better.

[stiff quiver]

https://discord.com/channels/794642864218439681/1087219932900638720

[sturdy mango]

Don't use telescope use your eyes

[wheat glade]

That is good advice

[sturdy mango]

What if you are blind @wheat glade

[wheat glade]

then you couldn’t use a scope anyway

[void pike]

Just use a camera then

[stiff quiver]

Or get a Neuralink implant.

[jovial scroll]

you don't need your eyes for astrophotography

[void pike]

If you're blind just use a camera so you can see it through the monitor

[plain estuary]

plug the ccd straight into your spine to see the images if you're blind

[sturdy mango]

@void pike with a camera how will see the picture

[void pike]

That's the joke.

[wide mesa]

You definitely need a bank account

[unique bloom]

You see those 3 knobs on the back of your newt? Take a power drill and tighten them all as much as you can so your telescope wan't go out of collimation

[frosty kindle]

Everything free if ur fast enought

[violet trout]

or got a gun

[frosty kindle]

The 100% discount coupon that works everywhere

[sturdy mesa]

If you want a fast telescope, just throw it off a cliff! Works like a charm :)

[fleet crane]

Just don't be lazy and wait for the light to get to you, just go to the light

[unique bloom]

When stacking in dss set the star threshold to 2%, more stars picked up by the software means better stacking

[umbral widget]

how to create a telescope (package) at home:
grab dollar store window glass
put it in a cardboard box with a random sticker on it
use your wings to fly up and grab as much clouds as your 6 hands can hold
put it in the box
pour water into the box
scream into the box for thunder (because yes)

there you have it, a telescope package ready to be shipped to another broke(not n just broke af) soul

[violet trout]

in some places they will even pay you

[astral raft]

precisely! plus, if you travel at the speed of light, you can collect more light in your scope anyway!

[fleet crane]

you can collect only the same light over and over again in one direction

but in another you will collect the double

i have an advice tho

take your cassegrain telescope, remove the secondary mirror and put the camera there, you don't need the secondary mirror this way

[umbral widget]

shoot through the clouds
because pain is in the mind 🧠