Cornell University (2025-2026)

[plucky bolt]

"You have not been bestowed with the powers of bonk. Only staff may judge you worthy of wielding this."

[shrewd compass]

!bonk

[tardy yarrow]

idk if standardized tests will rlly help i feel like theyll kinda just expect an applicant to have a semi decent score

[spice thicket]

please let me bonk people it would be very cool

[tardy yarrow]

since like tens of thousands of applicants already score above a 1400+

[hazy osprey]

very reassuring 😭

well anyways

idk

[shrewd compass]

holy nerds

[deft jolt]

You’re cooking dw

[tardy yarrow]

i mean im not saying youll not get in

😭

[spice thicket]

clip it thats an insane sat score

[tardy yarrow]

nobody knows

[deft jolt]

You actually unfroze admissions for you

[rugged jungle]

@spice thicket suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[deft jolt]

They’re gonna admit for the save

[mild flume]

?????

[tardy yarrow]

i mean all of us prob have decent standardized test scores

[deft jolt]

Fr

[rugged jungle]

Bonked wizard5258#0

[hazy osprey]

wild

[deft jolt]

OI

[spice thicket]

what does the bonk do

[rugged jungle]

@deft jolt suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[misty tartan]

i told you

[spice thicket]

I only have 10 left

[mild flume]

1550, 800 math

[misty tartan]

it does nothing

[rugged jungle]

Bonked erkgoat#0

[spice thicket]

LMAO

[hazy osprey]

lol

[shrewd compass]

no bonk perms 😔

sadge

[deft jolt]

9 left 🥀

[misty tartan]

you can send yours to people

[spice thicket]

ok but may I have more bonks

[hazy osprey]

okay well i don't need it to cover up that much

[misty tartan]

if you use /sendbonk

[tardy yarrow]

im 1540, 760/780 for r&w/math

[hazy osprey]

js a little bit for the gpa yk

[misty tartan]

create an economy

[spice thicket]

remind bonk?

[mild flume]

almost samesies

[misty tartan]

shows your count

[loud topaz]

vbro samesies

[deft jolt]

What if we bonk you

[hazy osprey]

nice

[loud topaz]

https://tenor.com/view/tori-amos-bliss-tvab-to-venus-and-back-gif-26559390

[hazy osprey]

are you doing cornell?

[tardy yarrow]

dude i clutched out at the very last second for the stupid sat i got that score during october 2025

[misty tartan]

nothing happens'

[deft jolt]

:(

[shrewd compass]

these nerds 😭 am i right

[rugged jungle]

Bonked carly#0

[tardy yarrow]

yeah ed

[hazy osprey]

good luck u got tis

[mild flume]

cas?

[spice thicket]

chloe if were doing an economy can i have some spare bonks

[misty tartan]

how many and why

[shrewd compass]

rich aah mf

[deft jolt]

We’re bonkers in here 🤪

[shrewd compass]

flexing the username 😔 😔

[deft jolt]

That’s why

[spice thicket]

so I can bonk everyone who gets into cornell and maybe like 30

but ill take what I can get

[hazy osprey]

30 💀

yes

[deft jolt]

Can I do this too

I predict that there will be 67 bonks to give out

[spice thicket]

oh amazing admin thou hast great power please bestow me with many bonk @misty tartan

[deft jolt]

-# I’m sorry

[deft jolt]

Poor Chloe ngl 🙏

[shrewd compass]

@misty tartan how do you like have the mental will power for ts 💔 🥀

[deft jolt]

Is Chloe from Cornell btw? 👀

[hazy osprey]

no

[deft jolt]

or does she manage the threads regardless

Ah okay

[hazy osprey]

its a UC

[spice thicket]

yeah but i promise I won't annoy you anymore isnt that worth 30 bonk

[plucky bolt]

cornells a uc???

[deft jolt]

No idea

Mature adult dealing with us kids

[hazy osprey]

i meant she's at a UC

[mild flume]

yeah university of cornell

[spice thicket]

okkkk lambda

[deft jolt]

Lmao

[mild flume]

thats what it stands for

[rugged jungle]

@spice thicket suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[deft jolt]

I go to UC Ithaca 🥸

[rugged jungle]

@deft jolt suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[spice thicket]

YES

[deft jolt]

@misty tartan you’re the best mod, never stop being so cool and chill 🙏

[misty tartan]

im just forced to be server owner

[mild flume]

oh man that sounds so hard

[misty tartan]

go send bonks to each other

[spice thicket]

@misty tartan best server owner ever thank you sm

[mild flume]

it would be a lot easier if you just relinquished that power to me

[misty tartan]

we cant have bonkflation'

[spice thicket]

like distribute them like communism or like bonk people

[deft jolt]

What if we sent all our bonks to Chloe 💀

[misty tartan]

didnt you say you hated seeing people succeed

[shrewd compass]

could i have like 4 bonks 🙏 thats how many people i see getting into cornell

[misty tartan]

your choice

[spice thicket]

okay

[deft jolt]

Who ☹️

[rugged jungle]

@shrewd compass suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[mild flume]

ad hominem

[spice thicket]

LMAO

[rugged jungle]

Bonked wizard5258#0

[deft jolt]

Oi

[shrewd compass]

ok now i have 3 bonks left for me myself and I

[misty tartan]

Go ahead

[rugged jungle]

Bonked uomq#0

[hazy osprey]

guys i've seen everyone get deferred for some reason

[spice thicket]

thats falacy falacy

[hazy osprey]

i dont like deferrals

[shrewd compass]

oi

[spice thicket]

talking about bonk flation????

[deft jolt]

I think that’s a straw man

[spice thicket]

oh

[shrewd compass]

one bonk to rule them all aah

[deft jolt]

ts going bonkers…

[mild flume]

some animals are more equal than others

[plucky bolt]

yeah honestly 3 ppl got deferred to stanford from our school, which is insane cuz thats really low odds, esp for 3

[deft jolt]

Why is Cornell thread actually the most active and crazy

[spice thicket]

ok this is a fire quote

[deft jolt]

Like we’re genuinely somewhat insane 😭

[spice thicket]

because we're the coolest

[shrewd compass]

because i'm here 🥱

and its lwk the best ivy

[misty tartan]

Go bribe the other threads with bonks they will think you are insane

[hazy osprey]

it's sort of like every capable person is getting deferred & only the super insane people are actually getting acceptances

[deft jolt]

If our leader so commands it…

[spice thicket]

LMAO

[mild flume]

this is the padded room of this server's threads

[plucky bolt]

EXACTLY, which is insane

[deft jolt]

Facts

[spice thicket]

ok which thread

[hazy osprey]

which makes me scared for Wharton

bcause i don't want to write essays for 16 other schools

[deft jolt]

Wait what do I bribe them for

[misty tartan]

Your choice

[spice thicket]

we could go visit upenn

[misty tartan]

The art of the deal

[hazy osprey]

did you do cornell ED

[deft jolt]

$? 👀 🤑
-# this is a joke btw

[spice thicket]

how many bonk do you have

[plucky bolt]

nah deferred stanford rea

[deft jolt]

22

Hbu

[hazy osprey]

everyone had a panic attack there & is no longer conscious

[hazy osprey]

ahh well that's pretty good

[spice thicket]

24

we are pretty even

[deft jolt]

[hazy osprey]

i know two pretty good candidates that got rejected

straight up

so

[deft jolt]

Gimme 1

🙏

[mild flume]

soon enough the rot will consume us and all that's left of this thread may be whispers and copium

[plucky bolt]

from stanford? damn? did anyone at ur school get deferred?

[deft jolt]

Even Steven

Ykyk

[spice thicket]

yes yes

[hazy osprey]

actually everyone i know i think got rejected lol

which is wild

[spice thicket]

orrrr you could just store the money with me... like at a bank...

[hazy osprey]

maybe they just dont like our school

who knows

[plucky bolt]

yeah thats insane dude

[hazy osprey]

but the trend isn't very nice

also for princeton

[misty tartan]

Bro’s gonna pay out bonk interest

[hazy osprey]

we had 2 applicants

[deft jolt]

How many bonks in interest do I gain per day

[hazy osprey]

they both got deferred

[deft jolt]

Lmk ur rates

[spice thicket]

if you fund me with enough bonks ill do it

[hazy osprey]

my friend who was applying CMU CS got deferrd

[mild flume]

ive only seen student atheletes get accepted ed so far at our school

[hazy osprey]

MIT deferred

[plucky bolt]

lowkey insane, holy

[misty tartan]

Pull urself up by the bootstraps

[mild flume]

which is really sad for me considering im nearly disabled

[spice thicket]

well how many bonks are you going to deposit

[hazy osprey]

all of UMICH ED & USC ED was defer

[spice thicket]

LMAO

[deft jolt]

I was rejected from MIT today 🙏

[hazy osprey]

i really hope wharton is done with the deferrals

[deft jolt]

What’s the min deposit…

[hazy osprey]

something will work out

in the long run

trust the process

[deft jolt]

Cornell*

[spice thicket]

hmmmmm this is too indepth for me ill just send you a bonk

[deft jolt]

Say Cornell ☹️

[hazy osprey]

..

fine

[deft jolt]

Thank you ☺️

[hazy osprey]

cornell

[plucky bolt]

yeah honestly they can't reject everyone

[deft jolt]

yessir tyty

[hazy osprey]

i feel like they're accepting only the realy

[deft jolt]

What if everywhere rejects me

[hazy osprey]

hooked applicants

or institutional priorities

[misty tartan]

What if we do what they do in jeopardy where you put down a certain number of bonks based on the decision you think you’ll get and you get paid out or have to pay out based on if it’s correct

[hazy osprey]

like

idk

[deft jolt]

“Guys I only applied to the ivies, no safeties”

[spice thicket]

YES

[hazy osprey]

community college**

[deft jolt]

“Unboxing college decisions GONE WRONG 🤯 ”

or opening but ykwim

[hazy osprey]

argh

[spice thicket]

what's the multiplier?

[hazy osprey]

okay i should probably lock in

before i throw finals

[spice thicket]

DUDE GET ON THE BONK GAME

[deft jolt]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 for now

[misty tartan]

In jeopardy I think you gain the amount you put down if you’re right lose it if you’re wrong but you can discuss with the class

[spice thicket]

i think it should be 10x

but you have to go all in

on one decision

[deft jolt]

Explain

[spice thicket]

me and chloe talking about

[deft jolt]

Betting on college decisions with bonks?

[misty tartan]

@lusty hinge is there a way to remove a certain number of bonks from a kid? Ik yoink exists but that completely zeroes them out and they wanna gamble their bonks

[hazy osprey]

that's going to be so much work

[deft jolt]

Cornellians deadahh starting to gamble while waiting on Cornell 🙏

[spice thicket]

LMAO

[misty tartan]

Wdym

[hazy osprey]

if you have to manually remove bonks everytime someone loses a gamble

[misty tartan]

I doubt this is gonna be a regular thing

[spice thicket]

we are only gambling once

Im going all in

[misty tartan]

If it is then we’ll deal

As it happens

[hazy osprey]

fair

[deft jolt]

What’re you betting and on who

[hazy osprey]

my attitude w the decision fr

[deft jolt]

“I think I’m starting to like gambling! 🤓”

[mild flume]

are we all dropping the stats like racehorses

[spice thicket]

YES

[deft jolt]

Erm

If I’m accepted then sure

[misty tartan]

I’m going to make this opt in when it comes to betting on others

[spice thicket]

chloe I bet all my bonks on me getting accepted

[misty tartan]

Bc I know people are gonna get pressured for their decisions if they’re bet on

[deft jolt]

Fair

[deft jolt]

So.. what happens if you are right

You just keep?

[spice thicket]

i get 240 bonks

10x multiplier

[mild flume]

im all in on myself getting accepted

[deft jolt]

Ah okay

[mild flume]

and if im wrong

[spice thicket]

oh shit yes

[hazy osprey]

ill join

for wharton

[spice thicket]

/bonkremind

[deft jolt]

I bet 10 on @spice thicket getting accepted to Cornell
-# please consent to my bet

[misty tartan]

Go get #1400591094298706070 involved then

[hazy osprey]

lmao

they're gonna think i've gone crazy

[deft jolt]

Lmao

[mild flume]

whoops lmao i got my message deleted

[misty tartan]

Tell them to look in here then

[spice thicket]

i consent but im not sure about the stockage of your bonk

[mild flume]

god forbid a man have hobbies

[deft jolt]

Ima be honest

The Cornell students seem very fun 🙏

everyone’s so nice and active

[spice thicket]

chloe have you recorded my bonk bet of all in on myself getting accepted

[hazy osprey]

i hope they are cornell students

lol

[misty tartan]

Do I need to make a sheet or smth

[spice thicket]

and if so do I send them all to you

[hazy osprey]

becuase ik chloe was talking about how all the actual A2C people don't get in

and then randoms come and sweep

[mild flume]

you're talking to about ten soon to be community college students

[deft jolt]

@spice thicket pls consent to me betting on you, I need it for Chloe’s rules 🙏

[spice thicket]

wdym actually a2c people

[spice thicket]

i consent

[deft jolt]

💀

[hazy osprey]

whoever said anything on this channel

[hazy osprey]

bro

that's literally what i'm saying 😂

[spice thicket]

ah

hopefully that is wrong this year

[deft jolt]

This is getting so in depth lmao

[hazy osprey]

this was for Wharton

probably not here

tbh

[spice thicket]

btw if i lose all my bonks this will js be a double f me

[deft jolt]

lol

[hazy osprey]

guys

why do i feel like this currency

is gonna go from hyperinflation

to bankrupt

[spice thicket]

im explaining to upenn rn wait

[deft jolt]

Market will go up and then crash

[mild flume]

clearly we have to learn from history

and print more

[shrewd compass]

chat im back

[hazy osprey]

yeah bro is actually good at explaining

it's wild

[shrewd compass]

did ya miss me

[spice thicket]

lmao

[deft jolt]

Hi λ

[hazy osprey]

guys

[deft jolt]

Yep! Wsp

[hazy osprey]

it should be like

betting on rejections

fr

u can bet on mine

[misty tartan]

Oh also if anybody does portal astrology your bets will be considered as rigged and you will automatically lose

[hazy osprey]

upenn had a good idea

[hazy osprey]

portal astro is the goat

[spice thicket]

VORT

[shrewd compass]

i have deaduzz logged into cornell portal like twice since i submitted 💀

[wide brook]

this is true tho

[wide brook]

what does it show

[uncut quarry]

theres portal astrology?

[hazy osprey]

yess @misty tartan will tell you all about it

[shrewd compass]

the portal? idfk

[wide brook]

no but there is your astrology which I know

[mild flume]

yeah its called the inspect key

[spice thicket]

wdym portal astrologyh

[spice thicket]

are you seriously inspecting the cornell portal

[shrewd compass]

@misty tartan can we have a bonk acceptance gambing channel or smth 🙏 or like a spreadsheet/form cuz it would be fun asl

[hazy osprey]

💀

[misty tartan]

No but if you try it I will invalidate your bonk bets

[deft jolt]

What are you going to find there 💀

[hazy osprey]

wait

what if we do

bonks using

portal astro

🧐

[misty tartan]

Can someone make a text list of them and I’ll make a public sheet

[deft jolt]

She just said—

[hazy osprey]

yeah i was translating to portal astro language from english

[shrewd compass]

like a .json or what

[rugged jungle]

@hazy osprey your bonk permissions have been revoked

[hazy osprey]

nah

bro i didn't even do anything

😭

[deft jolt]

lmao

[misty tartan]

Just compile them all in one place for me

[misty tartan]

Don’t bring up portal Astro 🥀

I’ll give them back

[hazy osprey]

okay fine.

[rugged jungle]

@hazy osprey suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[spice thicket]

@misty tartan i have an actually question why is portal astrology not allowed like I know it's bad but why

[misty tartan]

!portalrule

[hazy osprey]

so this was u @misty tartan

[mild flume]

told you it works

[fading bridge]

Any discussion about whether or not material you've received or a change related to your college portal means you've been accepted/rejected/etc. falls under "portal astrology" and is not allowed. This includes suggesting that having a button on your portal determines if you get in or not, a checklist disappearing meaning you're rejected, or assuming financial aid emails get you into a school. This is due to these speculations being usually incorrect, and can cause the spread of misinformation, panic, and anxiety at some of the most stressful times.

[deft jolt]

Another physy

[hazy osprey]

in the upenn portal

[deft jolt]

hi

[spice thicket]

ok thank you

[deft jolt]

thwack

[spice thicket]

i derailed the previously serious discussion in upenn

[deft jolt]

https://tenor.com/view/tmnt-series-donatello-whack-gif-8163940

[spice thicket]

also why is everyone there so pessimistic

[hazy osprey]

we were all just crying

because we know it's over

[deft jolt]

What was it abt

[deft jolt]

Its finance bros what do you expect

idk

[spice thicket]

@mortal bear would you please give me some bonks please?

[hazy osprey]

we like to call ourselves pragmatic trust

[deft jolt]

The greed…

Sickening

[hazy osprey]

maybe they should be a finance bro

[spice thicket]

I need more bonks to bet on you being accepted dont I

[spice thicket]

nuh uh aerospace engineer

[hazy osprey]

is there like a negative bonk

[misty tartan]

I can give someone negative yes

[hazy osprey]

and like a neutral bonk

for deferral

[mild flume]

WE ARE WORKING FOR LOCKEED MARTIN AND RAYTHEON TECHNOLOGIES

[misty tartan]

I actually forgot that

So that does work as a removal

[deft jolt]

Oh yeah, Cornell doesn’t have AE, does it?

[hazy osprey]

dam

i guess that'd be too toxic

though

wouldnt it lol

[spice thicket]

i successfully begged for money in Upenn

[deft jolt]

What if I send more bonks than I have

[misty tartan]

I wouldn’t do it for that but in terms of needing to withdraw bonks for incorrect bets

[hazy osprey]

okay yah

[spice thicket]

yea so ME

[deft jolt]

Aw

[spice thicket]

someone in upenn had 2000 bonks

[deft jolt]

Can’t give negative

[spice thicket]

so i begged for 20

charlottes going now

[deft jolt]

hm?

[spice thicket]

to beg for bonk

[shrewd compass]

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dDiplhFHPFyeXkn_enoCek1VMtx4adGXNcgDeeyaa3c/edit?gid=0#gid=0 heres a running spreadsheet

[deft jolt]

Yea

[shrewd compass]

kinda hard to like keep people from like

[spice thicket]

we need access lambda

[deft jolt]

So I bet 10 on erk…

[shrewd compass]

cheating / blowing up

[spice thicket]

at least viewer please

[shrewd compass]

comment access now

[spice thicket]

ok pls add me

[hazy osprey]

@deft jolt @spice thicket are you guys gonna open decisions right away

or wait

[spice thicket]

RIGHT AWAY

[hazy osprey]

im gonna wait to see how others do

then open i think

[deft jolt]

Right away

I’m getting ts over with asap

[deft jolt]

Open with us 👅

[hazy osprey]

ye fair

[deft jolt]

are you Cornell ED too?

[hazy osprey]

gotta open w upenn

[deft jolt]

Or UPenn?

[shrewd compass]

yall can comment on the bonklist

[hazy osprey]

remember i said Wharton ED

[deft jolt]

Ah okay

[deft jolt]

It’s late, forgive me 🫩

[spice thicket]

i have 44 bonk

[hazy osprey]

sleep

[shrewd compass]

bruhhhh

[spice thicket]

should I be irresponsible and bet all of it on me getting accepted

[shrewd compass]

theres no suggesting in sheets??

[mild flume]

its like 2 am isn't it

[spice thicket]

there is

[deft jolt]

🤫

[spice thicket]

you right click the box

[lusty hinge]

what do you mean remove? You can give a negative number (with the mod command, not the general one)

[deft jolt]

Nuh uh

[shrewd compass]

like suggester only?

[misty tartan]

That works I forgot until a bit ago

[spice thicket]

hi admidral, nice to meet you, would you please perhaps consider gifting me some bonk

[lusty hinge]

Hi. LOL.

[misty tartan]

Don’t inflate it

[hazy osprey]

average finance bro

[misty tartan]

Rn they are in double digits

[hazy osprey]

he really chose the wrong career

[lusty hinge]

[spice thicket]

i just met you but I know you're a kind soul at heart and I really wish you that you would donate to a noble cause of me betting on myself being accepted

[shrewd compass]

@lusty hinge hello my good sir. would you mind gifting the bonk

[spice thicket]

someone in upenn had 2000 bonk chloe soooo

[misty tartan]

That was before the crash

[lusty hinge]

Do I need to make a bonk leaderboard?

[deft jolt]

May I have just a few bonks? Perhaps 7, my favorite number?

[misty tartan]

Yes

[hazy osprey]

lowkey

[shrewd compass]

@spice thicket how to make people suggestor in sheets?

[hazy osprey]

if this is fr

ik who im gonna bet on

LOL

time to become a millionaire

wait but how does this work -- bets work because some people bet against?

[spice thicket]

im a suggester its just with the link, people just need to right click and add comments

[shrewd compass]

you can only bet your own bonks.. also chcek the sheet

[lusty hinge]

Time to find out how abusive all the mods have been on their bonk count

[hazy osprey]

how do u earn more bets in this world?

[deft jolt]

@spice thicket you made a server wide movement and change, good job, maybe go into public policy 💀

[spice thicket]

LMAO

[spice thicket]

im actually stuco president so fits lmao

[hazy osprey]

new common app EC #1

[spice thicket]

yes!

[deft jolt]

Lmao

for all those RDs

[hazy osprey]

what're you saying

[deft jolt]

huh

[hazy osprey]

are you saying he's gonna get rejected from cornell

[deft jolt]

Regular decision apps?

[hazy osprey]

😡

[deft jolt]

No but he’s filling out RD currently

[spice thicket]

sooooo @misty tartan my favorite moderator...

[deft jolt]

I think

[hazy osprey]

nah i'm joking lol

[spice thicket]

lmao

[deft jolt]

I’m sending you to Cornell’s RD 😡

To be accepted 😇

[hazy osprey]

i already know im gonna have to do that

ugh

i kind of brainstormed

my prompt responses

alr

[deft jolt]

“I (1590 SAT btw) will be deferred from Cornell 😞” like bro 😭

[shrewd compass]

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dDiplhFHPFyeXkn_enoCek1VMtx4adGXNcgDeeyaa3c/edit?gid=1768402194#gid=1768402194

ok yall have ditor now

editor

[hazy osprey]

💀

am i js seriously underestimating my app

[shrewd compass]

paste your gambling and ill move it to protected esctione

[hazy osprey]

i've seen like 4 36 ACTs in the last few days

[deft jolt]

Everyone does

[misty tartan]

Be careful

[hazy osprey]

so i didnt think it meant anything

[misty tartan]

Public editor will go bad fast

[deft jolt]

Ok, selection bias

[hazy osprey]

i was like

[deft jolt]

You have a near perfect sat

[hazy osprey]

is this an ACT party

or something

[spice thicket]

real

[shrewd compass]

i have a protected 2nd sheet on the bottom dw

and like

[spice thicket]

can someone bet their soul?

[shrewd compass]

i trust cornellians

[hazy osprey]

fair

my ecs are the best

part of my app though

hmm

[deft jolt]

see?? You got this bro

[hazy osprey]

i change my mind

[deft jolt]

just calm down and relax until decision day

[hazy osprey]

like everyday

idek

[deft jolt]

lol

[shrewd compass]

@misty tartan premission to post in general 🙏 or nah

[hazy osprey]

sometimes im like we're gonna get all HYPSM

the next i'm like community

[shrewd compass]

@spice thicket gimme a number so you can go into the hall of shame

[rugged citrus]

can you give me negative 2000 bonks 🥹

[misty tartan]

Easy way to get vandalized

[deft jolt]

Out of those, I may only apply to Princeton

[misty tartan]

I would get people to join their threads

[hazy osprey]

oh nice

[deft jolt]

None of the others interest me ngl

[spice thicket]

44 bonk

[misty tartan]

And go from there

[hazy osprey]

i was thinking of not doing princeton

but someone convinced me

and i really liked it

[deft jolt]

That’s if Cornell rejects

[misty tartan]

Sure

[hazy osprey]

oh right

so a very offchance

[rugged jungle]

@rugged citrus suddenly feels a deep need to thwack people...

[hazy osprey]

scenario

[shrewd compass]

you could just short me and get free bonk tho

[deft jolt]

No…. I will end up doing Princeton RD 😔

[rugged citrus]

i want to say i have the least amount of bonks 😌

[hazy osprey]

what happened to all the optimism

is it js for others

[spice thicket]

I will either lose it all (it was fake it never mattered anyways) orrrr I will win and I'll have a nice amount of bonk

[deft jolt]

I am optimistic! For you guys!

[hazy osprey]

me too!

[deft jolt]

Bro predicted me

[hazy osprey]

i know you guys will get in trust

[deft jolt]

😡

[spice thicket]

this cornell chat is everyone being optimistic about everyone but themselves

[rugged citrus]

i'm too lazy to be betting on others, I just want the record for the least bonks

[deft jolt]

Lmao

[shrewd compass]

@mild flume how many bonks od you have i need a number 💀

[hazy osprey]

the penn chat is pessimistic about everyone

including themselves

[rugged citrus]

@shrewd compass woah cornell copy

[mild flume]

no idea

[deft jolt]

Is the Cornell depression already kicked in for each of us 🥀

[mild flume]

like 15

[shrewd compass]

?

[hazy osprey]

i just don't want to write RD apps

tbh

so much pain

and work

[deft jolt]

I assure you, not me

[rugged citrus]

wait nvm, your manifesting isn't nearly as good

[hazy osprey]

same here

[deft jolt]

Sameeee

[shrewd compass]

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1dDiplhFHPFyeXkn_enoCek1VMtx4adGXNcgDeeyaa3c/edit?gid=1768402194#gid=1768402194
bonk gambling
you can gamble any bonks you have for or against you or your friends

[deft jolt]

I can tell you have a stacked profile

[spice thicket]

cornell just the best school in the world yk

[shrewd compass]

🥳

[deft jolt]

You got it dw

[shrewd compass]

so confused rn

[misty tartan]

Add a disclaimer abt making sure friends are okay with it

[deft jolt]

Should this be pinned

[hazy osprey]

but im also in the bay & no hooks

no legacy

and im doing wharton

[deft jolt]

I’m also no hooks or legacy 🙏

[spice thicket]

if anyone wants to bet on me im a ok with it!

[hazy osprey]

& gpa is not

perfct either

[deft jolt]

And I’m wayyyy worse than you…

[hazy osprey]

like

[deft jolt]

That’s fine

[hazy osprey]

who said we can't both get rejected

nah im joking lol

ur getting in

[rugged citrus]

HAHAHA I DO HAVE -2000 BONK

[deft jolt]

Erm, I’m taking your chance of rejection so you definitely get accepted!

[spice thicket]

lmao

[misty tartan]

Can confirm

[deft jolt]

Anyone can bet on me btw

[hazy osprey]

im showing u my deferral letter thursday

bro

[mild flume]

yo chloe at this point just give me like -10^8 bonks at this point aint no way im getting in

[misty tartan]

Use /remindbonk

[deft jolt]

Bro dm the acceptance when it happens

[misty tartan]

The check is for mods to check other people

[hazy osprey]

deferral**

im predicting it

watch

[acoustic lance]

Pong! I'm here.

[deft jolt]

You have a funny way of spelling acceptance… Cali lingo?

[shrewd compass]

done

[hazy osprey]

💀

wild

i will not tolerate this hate

[deft jolt]

😊

[mild flume]

cali lingo is saying "like" 4 times per sentence

[spice thicket]

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

[rugged citrus]

wait what's the most bonk someone has rn?

[misty tartan]

The I-15 to the I-8

[deft jolt]

like, like this? Like, doing too much, like saying like that like you aren’t like getting like rejected or smth

[misty tartan]

We put the in front

[rugged citrus]

currency for gambling lol

[mild flume]

like exactly like that youre like a real californian

[hazy osprey]

i think whatever brain i had left dissapeared afer this new revolution

[misty tartan]

Idk admidral runs the bot

[hazy osprey]

cooked for finals tmrw

bro 💀

[deft jolt]

😭

[shrewd compass]

@mild flume do u have any bonks or nah

[deft jolt]

😂

Now you don’t have a brain to worry about decisions!

[mild flume]

no idea how do i check

[misty tartan]

Pins

[deft jolt]

See, I helped you!

[shrewd compass]

cuz like "my soul" is not helpful 😔

[hazy osprey]

bro this guy is about to go broke

[rugged citrus]

is this only bonk gambling for like columbia?

[hazy osprey]

putting his bonks on me

😭

[mild flume]

it's accurate

[misty tartan]

You can do for any school

[deft jolt]

wait

Chloe

[rugged citrus]

ahh ic ic

[deft jolt]

What if I bonk @ everyone

[hazy osprey]

@indigo lantern reconsider

i will not be responsible

for the loss of your bonks

[misty tartan]

It’s just pinned in here bc the other threads haven’t shown much interest yet

[hazy osprey]

im telling u give me negative

[misty tartan]

Don’t try to

[hazy osprey]

and you'll win big

[spice thicket]

@misty tartan

[deft jolt]

Ok

🙏

I feel scared

[hazy osprey]

me too :/

[shrewd compass]

yall should try megabonk

[mild flume]

literally 1984

[deft jolt]

You do it

How about anyone who gets accepted does a megabonk 🤡

[rugged jungle]

jai5914#0 has been given 3 bonks from vort1752#0

[deft jolt]

-# joke, pls no ban

[shrewd compass]

its a game 😭

[rugged jungle]

cuteappletree#0 has been given 2 bonks from vort1752#0

[shrewd compass]

https://tenor.com/view/megabonk-skeleton-muscle-muscle-man-game-gif-9842408480060213340

[hazy osprey]

i think

they will get

penn

from our channel

tbh

[spice thicket]

vort how many bonk do you have

[hazy osprey]

5 left

i conserved

in case i find some wild horse

[shrewd compass]

i only ever got 3 😔

[spice thicket]

omg

[rugged citrus]

you're guaranteed to win if you gamble on my rejection from penn 💀

[spice thicket]

just realized i slightly released my last name on the thing

oops

[rugged jungle]

nczhzkfxglx#0 has been given 5 bonks from vort1752#0

[hazy osprey]

here you can bonk

[spice thicket]

lambda dont dox me thank you very much

[shrewd compass]

@keen gate hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

could you like gift lambda a bonk 😭

[rugged jungle]

Bonked vort1752#0

[rugged citrus]

did you give away your remaining bonks 😭

[shrewd compass]

everyones anon

[hazy osprey]

yes

[sullen ibex]

wsg my late sleepers

[spice thicket]

no i mean with my comment

[rugged jungle]

Bonked vort1752#0

[shrewd compass]

i deleted them

[spice thicket]

ok good thanks

lovely

[hazy osprey]

bro you put too much faith in me 😭

im gonna feel bad

[deft jolt]

Wsp

[hazy osprey]

when i get the letter

[misty tartan]

Reminder that if any portal astrology appears all bonk bets are off and invalidated because that is considered cheating and rigging the bets before they happen

[deft jolt]

Morning and I’m not asleep yet 💔

[spice thicket]

GUYS NO PORTAL ASTROLOGY

seriously

[rugged citrus]

have yall even been updating the spreadsheet 💀

[spice thicket]

i will be unhappy if we do portal astrology

[hazy osprey]

alr

[shrewd compass]

ye

[hazy osprey]

ill study for finals now

[shrewd compass]

wheres you submissoin vro

[hazy osprey]

good luck future cornell & penn students

[spice thicket]

thank you!!!

[hazy osprey]

also harvard is wild

[rugged citrus]

ohh ic ic there's a submission sheet and official sheet

[spice thicket]

what

[keen turret]

Haha skibidi bonk

[hazy osprey]

bro applied ED cornell

& REA

[shrewd compass]

#1400589090465910817 message

[hazy osprey]

harvard

alright buddy

[mild flume]

any college that denies you automatically sucks and you would have hated it anyways

[deft jolt]

Harvard? Who cares abt Harvard…

[shrewd compass]

#1400589090465910817 message gamble

[deft jolt]

Real

[keen turret]

I don understand

What if I have no bonks

[shrewd compass]

beg chloe

[mild flume]

they come after you

[shrewd compass]

🥷

[rugged citrus]

why do you think my bio is "YOU CAN BE THE TOXIC BF THAT NEVER GIVES ME ATTENTION AND STEALS MY MONEY THAT I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED"

[keen turret]

how do I win gambles

[rugged citrus]

NEU can be my toxic bf 🥹

[hazy osprey]

why is this ur bio 💀

brother

[shrewd compass]

isn't like NU a better NEU 😔

[rugged citrus]

i dislike illinois

[shrewd compass]

uiuc...

u chicagoo

vonnnn

[rugged citrus]

tell me NEU doesn't match the description of a toxic bf. I'm begging for their attention and they're gonna steal off with 95k yearly from me 🤩

[keen turret]

Is getting into a university count as winning a gamble

[rugged citrus]

and they'll probs reject me anyhow 😭

[rugged citrus]

you bet on if they'll get rejected/accepted/deferred

[keen turret]

OHHHHHH

[rugged citrus]

so you win if it matches your original gamble

[keen turret]

ok ok

thx

[deft jolt]

Does Cornell prefer to defer 🙏

[rugged citrus]

I don't want to get deferred man. I'd rather just take the straight up rejection bc I can't give any update that would make them accept me in RD

[deft jolt]

Over reject*

[shrewd compass]

#1400589090465910817 message

[keen turret]

I guess this is a Cornell megathread exlcusive game

[deft jolt]

Same man…

[shrewd compass]

#1400589090465910817 message

submit your bonks

[rugged citrus]

idk if i'd wanna get waitlisted or not 💀

[keen turret]

pls Chloe give me bonk

[shrewd compass]

@misty tartan if they loser their bonk gambling can i get a percent :p

[rugged citrus]

actually maybe, cuz idt you need to send an update for waitlist

[deft jolt]

Wait fr guys, does Cornell defer more often than reject??

[keen turret]

I am skibidi sigma I deserve a bonk

[rugged citrus]

oop

[mild flume]

so yeah by a slight margin

[keen turret]

What a beautiful three way split

[hazy osprey]

yk i actually have a plan

[shrewd compass]

guarnteed transfer into cornell 2nd year

[deft jolt]

So just barely 💀

[hazy osprey]

once i get rejected wharton, im actually going to lock in

[deft jolt]

Thank you Falke

[rugged citrus]

i feel like i'd be fine with waitlist still tho lol. But that'd mean I had been deferred first and I still don't wanna get deferred

[keen turret]

wait how do you get guaranteed

[hazy osprey]

wtf

[shrewd compass]

DO THE BONK SPREADSHEET RAHHHH

[hazy osprey]

cornell cooked

have u guys seen wharton's

[shrewd compass]

thats what transfer optoin is 😭

[hazy osprey]

yeah

i will get deferred

[deft jolt]

Shoulda EDed here ngl…

[hazy osprey]

u think so too right

[deft jolt]

Better chances fr

[keen turret]

Yea so if I wanna transfer here it’d 100%?

[deft jolt]

For better school fr

[keen turret]

since guaranteed

[shrewd compass]

if they give you transfer option

[keen turret]

o

[shrewd compass]

my friend got it after deffer >> decline last year

[mild flume]

you didnt?

[keen turret]

how do you get that transfer option

Is it just random

[deft jolt]

I was telling Vort

I did

[hazy osprey]

as a bay area student w/o any hooks & gpa a bit weaker

[mild flume]

oooh

[shrewd compass]

if they like you but still have to decline

[hazy osprey]

you think that's enough?

[keen turret]

Ohhhhh

that’s interesting ok

[hazy osprey]

lowkey

i would rather

get a rejection

its more motivating

than a deferral

[keen turret]

Holy AI sub paradise

[shrewd compass]

karmamaxxing 🔥

[mild flume]

ill post my results on collegeresults and the people there will probably tell me that they should have shot me

[keen turret]

nothing but AI in there

[hazy osprey]

goated mindset 💀

[keen turret]

https://tenor.com/view/omni-man-omni-man-are-you-sure-are-you-sure-invincible-gif-3935116808772397515

[shrewd compass]

i got into t60 already

1/3 of the way there

[keen turret]

Congrats

REAL

[shrewd compass]

wait i think so 💀 is U buffulo t60

[hazy osprey]

idt i can lock in fr until i get my decision

[keen turret]

Everyone gets in there I don’t think it’s t75 even

[shrewd compass]

nvm t80 💀

[keen turret]

🗿

just apply Rutgers they will accept you

[shrewd compass]

ye literally 💀 i don't know any1 thats got dcelined

[keen turret]

Free t50

NO

☠️

[shrewd compass]

cornell cleras

[keen turret]

Holy risk taker

[mild flume]

paid neu shill

[shrewd compass]

yk on the brightside in 2 days i can become d1 cmu simp

[keen turret]

they don’t even run supplemental they are never cracking t30

[hazy osprey]

tbh i agree

uva is not t20

[shrewd compass]

its to get the <10% acc rate

its still a good uni

[keen turret]

No no

I meant neu

sorry

uva is aight

[shrewd compass]

northeastern?

[keen turret]

yea

[hazy osprey]

neu is like

such a weird

uni

imo

sketchy

idk

[keen turret]

northeastern will never crack t30

Yea

[keen turret]

❌ , you won’t because you’re gonna get in

[hazy osprey]

why do i feel like that's the best part about the school 😭

nah jk im js salty

bcz im not getting in

[rugged citrus]

that's bc rn they're trying to inflate their acceptance rate by increasing amount of people who are applying. They'll probs add in a supp after they build real interest and competition

[hazy osprey]

EXACTLY

right

thats what im saying

[keen turret]

neu simp gonna fry me

[hazy osprey]

BRO THIS IS REAL

like this is the reality

lmao

[rugged citrus]

NEU's strategy is genius i'm ngl. Like i'm not even saying they're a good school but they're trying to crack t50 and t20 despite not being like 200 years old

[hazy osprey]

ill be working on my yale supp

after wharton deferral

[keen turret]

You won’t, because you’re getting IN

[keen turret]

really? They that young?

interesting

[rugged citrus]

after seeing the princeton massacre, I'm not getting my hopes up

[hazy osprey]

princeton massacre

stanford massacre

[keen turret]

what about umich

[hazy osprey]

like yeah

[keen turret]

That architecture looks new af

[hazy osprey]

USC massacre

even

bro

[rugged citrus]

oops wrong one

[hazy osprey]

UMICH massacare

[rugged citrus]

oh wait- there's been multiple?

[hazy osprey]

northwestern was the only

non massacare

[rugged citrus]

geez umich had a massacre?

[hazy osprey]

bro everyone get deferred

umich

and usc

[rugged citrus]

for their first ED year?

[hazy osprey]

basically

yeah

it was like

all deferrals

[keen turret]

I can’t fucking believe it, EVERYONE got in 😭 uchicago ahh ed1

[hazy osprey]

BRO IKR

im wishing i did

NU

D

ED

[keen turret]

I should’ve applied

[hazy osprey]

lol

[keen turret]

Ong

[hazy osprey]

bro fr

[keen turret]

free t15

[hazy osprey]

idk what happened

like

how did

everyone

[keen turret]

[hazy osprey]

get in

so wild

[shrewd compass]

wait 2020 drake was locked in 💀

[rugged citrus]

founded in 1898 which is younger than umich and uchicago

[keen turret]

Mich is that old? ☠️

🪦

[rugged citrus]

younger than uw seattle

[hazy osprey]

nu had more acceptances

than deferrals

and rejections

its wild

[rugged citrus]

ye, which is why if I hear anything about umich and uw being higher ranked than NEU despite being state schools- it's because they're both older 😭

[keen turret]

I was kinda jealous ngl but I need to keep my head up

[hazy osprey]

yeah

honestly

i want to get

either

flat rejected

or accepted

deferral is paralyzing

[rugged citrus]

NEU's ED is beautiful, last time I checked they were at like 100% acceptance

yep still at 100%

[hazy osprey]

and ill be so distracted

like i cant even work

on other Unis

[rugged citrus]

although there's only like 9 people on A2C who applied ED

[keen turret]

I can see the argument for both, rejection just stings hard imo and I’m fine with deferred only if my hopes getting into it weren’t so positive; but yea waiting months for another desicion is paralyzing to a degree

[hazy osprey]

but ill js recognize no wharton

if deferral

and

work on

others

the middle state is not possible

[keen turret]

I don’t know why umich is t20 so yea you might be right

[hazy osprey]

UMich is good

wdym

Ross

[keen turret]

only Ross is good

[hazy osprey]

#2 for business

[keen turret]

🗿

[hazy osprey]

hm

okay fine

idk

[keen turret]

the rest I never heard about

[hazy osprey]

alright wait anyways

[keen turret]

Vort are you planning on LOCI if you get deferred

[shrewd compass]

its t10 for cs 💀 its goated fym

[hazy osprey]

this time fr ill study for finals

[hazy osprey]

bro

of course

i have 2 updates

already planned

💀

[keen turret]

Ohhhhhh

That’s so good

[shrewd compass]

what loci?

[hazy osprey]

no its not

[keen turret]

good shit

[hazy osprey]

because i need to complete

my other

16 apps

but i cant stp

thinking

[keen turret]

☠️

[hazy osprey]

about wharton

[shrewd compass]

💀

[keen turret]

?! Crazy stuff

[shrewd compass]

i only got 7 left or smth

[keen turret]

I have like 30 or so

atp god can write them

[hazy osprey]

alr

well

lock in time

[shrewd compass]

i was not bothered to go beyond collegeboard limit

[keen turret]

Lock in

[shrewd compass]

so confused 😭

mentally moving ts around is hurting brain

[deft jolt]

what does Cornell acceptance look like

do they play a sound too

[rugged citrus]

bro I was so diappointed when I saw the princeton acceptance page 😭

like it was just a tiger 😢

umass boston had a whole animation and confetti

[keen turret]

Im not getting in anywhere

I’m gonna have to resort to community college

I’m so cooked

[shrewd compass]

u buffulo only had confetti 😭

[keen turret]

https://tenor.com/view/speed-ishowspeed-darren-watkins-speed-meme-speed-pray-gif-17944518743646793301

[shrewd compass]

i got 20k scholarship tho 🥳

😔