Apple Event — September 7

[humble sparrow]

First.

[modest elk]

2nd.

[oblique whale]

Will they add the headphone jack back

[humble sparrow]

Probably not.

[oblique whale]

[humble sparrow]

Apple doesn't like things plugging into other things.

[oblique whale]

Usb c please

[obsidian scroll]

Damn

[little bough]

Dear mr. Cook

[modest elk]

Story time Apple again

[dry bone]

Mr. cook, breaking bad

[cobalt cove]

I find it ironic that apple, this fancy tech company, claims to receive thousands of letters from people who bought apple watches.

[patent marten]

what is apple revealing today

[modest elk]

iPhone, Watch, AirPods

[little bough]

join and see

[humble sparrow]

cuz email doesn't have the same connotation

[cobalt cove]

They're holding hand written letters!

[dry bone]

holy moly 😱

[humble sparrow]

They're holding paper

printer paper

[oblique whale]

What a waste of trees

[patent marten]

theres a first time for everything

[modest elk]

They're touching treees!

[cobalt cove]

Yes they're not the letters but the implication is that they're receiving actual letters. Also they did show a handwritten one.

[modest elk]

Filipino representation on Apple events when

[oblique whale]

Apple Watch = good medical care

[humble sparrow]

When they can afford Apple devices

[dry bone]

These mfers spreading propaganda about how you need the apple watch for life or death situations

[humble sparrow]

[oblique whale]

[slate hamlet]

apple watch series 8

[patent marten]

you can sell it to pay your medical bills

[modest elk]

Apple site stream?

[slate hamlet]

na the verge's live blog is a minute or two ahead

[dry bone]

Now offering this revolutionary subscription plan, Apple Healthcare™️

No way it's a watch

[little bough]

💸

[dry bone]

!!!

[modest elk]

woah

[spare bough]

no squared edges

lame

[slate hamlet]

tldr bigger & brighter screen, and fitness

[modest elk]

How do I chat and type the info on my Keep at the same time

[dry bone]

incredible

[slate hamlet]

temperature sensor

[little bough]

Now i can use a keyboard

[slate hamlet]

https://www.theverge.com/2022/9/7/23313786/apple-watch-series-8-specs-price-features-release-date
lol that was fast

[modest elk]

my god

[obsidian scroll]

Live Blog...

[dry bone]

The Verge bloggers on the grind rn with 120wpm

[slate hamlet]

they're fuckin fast

car crash detection

cool ig

[modest elk]

I just had to watch this and make an article for cultists

[modest elk]

Noice

[slate hamlet]

lol they have icons for crash types

[humble sparrow]

holy shit I have iOS Watch on my phone

[dry bone]

!!

No way

[slate hamlet]

this would be a fun time to announce the apple car... 😢

[little bough]

apple watch is inside

👀

[patent marten]

engine and brakes sold seperately

[slate hamlet]

took them fuckin long enough

[dry bone]

Crash Detection as a monthly subscription service OR when you buy a brand new apple watch series 8

[slate hamlet]

low power mode

I like the new colors

the red one in particular is cool

and black one

[modest elk]

Time to crash my car to test that

[strange steppe]

air mez

[modest elk]

If I lived

I'll tell you

[dry bone]

400-500 bucks

[slate hamlet]

guess there's not going to be an apple watch sport (garmin competitor)

[dry bone]

My phone costs 500 bucks smh

[little bough]

hair maiz

Omg

[lofty crag]

Is the battery life still ass?

[little bough]

Fitness + for 3 months

free

[cobalt cove]

They claim the same battery life so yes.

[lofty crag]

I stil have the series 5 or whatever the first one with the larger display was

[modest elk]

Can I crash my car so I can try out the new feature /s

[oblique whale]

The watch can spit on you

[little bough]

Myhtbusters rq

[slate hamlet]

new watch SE

[modest elk]

Thanks for the heads up

[slate hamlet]

🙃

[little bough]

WAtch sE

[dry bone]

WAtch s AYE

[modest elk]

So uh

[slate hamlet]

it's 20% faster which is cool

new SoC

looks nice for ppl who don't care about temperature sensing and w/e

o shit

[modest elk]

Wait

[slate hamlet]

apple watch sport

jeff is on a hill

[little bough]

249 for the se is not that wild

[fickle delta]

apple sport watch*

[slate hamlet]

maybe?

[modest elk]

SE had the same shit as S8 right?

[little bough]

Yes

[fickle delta]

why not? isn't it a new iphone SE? didn't see anything yet

[modest elk]

I kind of want an iPhone now

[little bough]

249 for the se is pretty fine imo

[slate hamlet]

apple watch SE

[fickle delta]

aah

[slate hamlet]

and the apple watch sport is a chonker

[lofty crag]

Isnt $249 what the normal watches started at before?

[strange steppe]

pro

[slate hamlet]

shh i can call it whatever I want till they announce it

[lofty crag]

Ok here we go..the actual good watch

[slate hamlet]

omg

[modest elk]

Imagine Apple Watch Pro Max

[slate hamlet]

apple watch ultra

lmfao

[modest elk]

The fuck?!

[dry bone]

Apple Watch pro max

[fickle delta]

hmmmmmm sport watches are quite cheap here... but don't know how good, they look good though

[fickle delta]

lol

[modest elk]

Apple putting whatever name they can reuse

[little bough]

Apple watch ultra

looks chonky

[slate hamlet]

better have some mind-blowing battery life

60 hours

[oblique whale]

Damn only orange

[slate hamlet]

decent ig

[oblique whale]

[cobalt cove]

3x what they claim for the series 8 so yeah

[humble sparrow]

oh shit Apple discovered "buttons"

[lofty crag]

Imagine

[slate hamlet]

shocking

[modest elk]

I LOVE THE COLOR

[little bough]

evolutions

[cobalt cove]

Oh nvm it's 60h for the endurance mode thing

yeah 2x series 8 then

[oblique whale]

I guess it works with off white shoes

[slate hamlet]

wayfinder just seems gimmicky

[humble sparrow]

Look, 4 buttons!

[fickle delta]

buttons on sport watches are innovative

[lofty crag]

Why did "push boundaries" sound different

was it just me?

[fickle delta]

punny button

[modest elk]

36 hrs on single charge

[spare bough]

ultra is a weird name for it

[modest elk]

they did S8 dirty

[spare bough]

i don't think it's the best apple watch you can get it's an apple watch for a very specific audience

[little bough]

the bands looks nice ngl

[oblique whale]

Waiting for all the hermit mfs to say they need the Apple Watch ultra

[slate hamlet]

lol apparently the gps thing is a big deal

[modest elk]

Wait

If I'm correct

[slate hamlet]

the waypoints thing is actually sick for hiking and stuff ngl

[modest elk]

They got some Strava features

I am not sure if they did

[spare bough]

should be called apple watch sport/extreme

[slate hamlet]

and have a name that makes sense? naa

[dry bone]

Damn, you got your very own AAA open world game minimap

[little bough]

haha

[humble sparrow]

every time they say "water sports" my brain doesn't think of swimming

[slate hamlet]

well it's definitely a strong garmin competitor

[cobalt cove]

Lol

That's for when you get back home after the workout.

[modest elk]

I need to retype this shit all again

I got distracted

[little bough]

damn 40 meters

[modest elk]

[little bough]

thats nice

Eitherway

[modest elk]

Where my iPhone reveal

[dry bone]

Apple watch only

[modest elk]

they told me it's iPhone AirPods Watch

[slate hamlet]

probably comes last

[modest elk]

You just read my mind

[dry bone]

Yeah but god damn
35 minutes and they've announced 3 watches

[modest elk]

And I couldn't keep with some features

[slate hamlet]

well 2 of them were just iterative

the ultra is cool though

[humble sparrow]

man, cultists can't issue you a pc

[little bough]

machines

those people are machines

[strange steppe]

800 sheesh

[dry bone]

Ultra is neat for a very specific audience

[slate hamlet]

ad break

[little bough]

Big bucks

[slate hamlet]

if my mom owned an iPhone, she'd love it

[modest elk]

I'm at bed anyway

[spare bough]

I don't think it will sell very well

[slate hamlet]

but she has a garmin

[strange steppe]

$300 more for a bigger battery

[modest elk]

thank god it's a break

[little bough]

Ultra is very niche but for a limited audience

[slate hamlet]

I don't think you know how much people will spend on a garmin

[little bough]

the new se watch will be imo a very good goto

or if you want the series 8

[mental rover]

bro $799 lol

[slate hamlet]

the watch ultra is gonna sell like hotcakes

[modest elk]

what's a cycling related iWatch feature?

[mental rover]

no doubt

[timid tartan]

Hey, maybe the Apple Watch Ultra isn't so overpriced to "explorers"

[modest elk]

Fall Detection

?

[pliant pike]

I'm an explorer

[strange steppe]

wayfinder mode

[spare bough]

it's worth it for them

[oblique whale]

Using Apple Watch ultra sitting on your couch watching Netflix

[digital locust]

ULTRA

[timid tartan]

I don't know, I'm not an "explorer"

[grave palm]

I wanted one of them but 800 quid can fuck off

[mental rover]

im exited for airpods pro 2

[oblique whale]

[strange steppe]

find my way to the fridge

[digital locust]

2K nits tho

[modest elk]

@digital locust hello b, how's Genshin coming

[timid tartan]

In summary, this useless for us

[little bough]

No

[oblique whale]

Thank god Apple shows me how to get from my pc to the bed

[slate hamlet]

alr let's see what's next...

[pliant pike]

Yeah I expected 400 max, I have not seen an apple watch release since series 4, they have gotten so expensive

[slate hamlet]

airpods

[little bough]

let me use 800 usd for something i could 249 for

[grave palm]

I expected 599 tbh

[digital locust]

Genshin is genshin and no artifact for the past 3 days

[grave palm]

400 now way

[modest elk]

I'm not gonna be shocked if Hoyoverse is used by Apple again to show off Genshin inside iPhone

[mental rover]

the leaks suggested 999

[slate hamlet]

tim cook will return from the ether

[digital locust]

800$ watch yeah lemme buy something that retains value

[spare bough]

It's not for the everyday consumer

[grave palm]

I’ll stick to my series 7 I think

[acoustic magnet]

Tim apple

[grave palm]

Lol

[pliant pike]

Apple are just getting even MORE unaffordable for the average person

[digital locust]

Apple watch doesnt keep its value over the years

[mental rover]

im prolly gonna get the se

[modest elk]

Electro character in an electro boss

[crude sequoia]

@modest elk like when they used raiden against the electro boss

[digital locust]

Better for people to buy a rolex or some shit that retains value

[timid tartan]

An average person shouldn't even be interested in an Apple Watch

[modest elk]

Raiden, Keqing, Electro MC and Yae Mik9

[slate hamlet]

wdym that's about normal for a high-end sports watch

[spare bough]

airpod pro 2

[timid tartan]

It's useless for the "average person"

[oblique whale]

Airpod max pro ultra

[modest elk]

See

iPhones last

[little bough]

pretty much

lol

[pliant pike]

800?

[grave palm]

Oh god airpods time

[spare bough]

It provides some useful information

[mental rover]

airpods pro

[crude sequoia]

electro must be strong against electro, it makes sense

[acoustic magnet]

if this new iphone still has a fucking notch iswtg

[slate hamlet]

hell yeah

[little bough]

your phone:

[mental rover]

$299

[pliant pike]

I am talking about apple in general

[mental rover]

calling it rn

[timid tartan]

Wow

[strange steppe]

airpods pro ultra

[grave palm]

Tf kinda watches u buying, sport Rolex’s?

[digital locust]

BUT WHY

[modest elk]

Crack theory: it was done on purpose

[spare bough]

they don't provide the same health information that the watch does but ok

[timid tartan]

"Best and most popular headphones in the world" lmao

[slate hamlet]

look at garmin prices

[timid tartan]

Oh no

[acoustic magnet]

airpods pro ultra max super duper good edition

[pliant pike]

I don't know anyone in real life who can afford to buy new apple products anymore

[grave palm]

At the highest end ones sure

[crude sequoia]

maybe, they got a lot of people talking about it

[grave palm]

Are they longer?

[modest elk]

How much people will pay for Apple IEM?

[slate hamlet]

that's what they're competing with

[mental rover]

thats what she said

[strange steppe]

oh god they are not renaming them

[timid tartan]

Hopefully these AirPods are good

[digital locust]

Next is gonna be airpod pro ultramax

[pliant pike]

wait is the series 8 799 or is the Ultra 799?

[timid tartan]

At least

[mental rover]

leaks suggest they will

[grave palm]

What u mean AirPods Pro are good, just the price was dumb

[acoustic magnet]

seen so many stupid people here driving clapped out car but with latest iphone in hand. So to answer your question, they prioritize getting a smartphone 🤦🏻‍♂️

[strange steppe]

nEw aIrPoDs pRo

[mental rover]

8 is 400

[slate hamlet]

only apple silicon is capable of making your airpods sound like phone speakers

[pliant pike]

ah

[grave palm]

Holy shit a whole new number

[slate hamlet]

spacial audio™️

[mental rover]

ultra is 800

[timid tartan]

Because leaks are trustworthy

[mental rover]

the recent ones have been right

[modest elk]

the latter

[pliant pike]

Most people I know only get an iphone because it makes them "cool"

[grave palm]

I like her fit ngl, yellow going hard

[digital locust]

How much is the airpods gonna be i wonder

[slate hamlet]

oh dear god they've fucked up

[little bough]

Leaks are the best source!!!!

[timid tartan]

The last one you mentioned was literally wrong

[slate hamlet]

too many dots are ruining the video quality

[little bough]

prob sum like 249

or more

[grave palm]

299 boys

[mental rover]

im talking about the last event

[spare bough]

I think these will just replace the first gen airpod pro

[acoustic magnet]

her fucking naseal voice reminds me of cancerous tiktok robot voice ngl

[spare bough]

They're not going to co-exist like Airpods 2 and 3 do

[grave palm]

Personalized spacial audio is on airpod pro 1 what a scam

[spare bough]

Probably going to be the same price

[little bough]

marianne is boring

[acoustic magnet]

so it's doing what Sony did years before

[timid tartan]

The way this person speaks is very distracting

[pliant pike]

It sounds like she was shouting and they made her voice quiet in post

[modest elk]

Where's my fucking Craig?

[little bough]

Chimp gets it

[acoustic magnet]

take a ear pic to custom EQ for spatial audio

[little bough]

Good im not crazy

[mental rover]

hes the mac guy

[grave palm]

Apple looking for ear pics

[pliant pike]

Okay I don't think I am ever going to buy an apple product now

[modest elk]

Ear fetish

[little bough]

Marianne makes the background music act like tha main thing

[mental rover]

im still gonna lol

[modest elk]

to me it sounded like sexy

[timid tartan]

This person sounds like she's giving me a lore explanation for a ride at Six Flags LMAO

[digital locust]

Lets hope ip 14 actually uses the new silicon

[mental rover]

dont feel like jumping ecosystems

[grave palm]

Her voice isn’t right for this ngl

[acoustic magnet]

indeed

[digital locust]

Instead of like what leaks saying

[slate hamlet]

oh no not swipe gestures

[pliant pike]

I just can not afford to spend so much on a technology thing lol

[grave palm]

Her reading stories would be class

[strange steppe]

if you have ever ridden a BART train in the SF Bay Area you would understand why they made ANC so good on the Air Pods

[oblique whale]

https://youtu.be/sPn2HP8cAbo

[mental rover]

i hope thats wrong lol

[pliant pike]

Phones and everything are just becoming unaffordable

[timid tartan]

Fuckin amusement park announcer

[grave palm]

BIG number

[timid tartan]

Fuck off, J Balvin

[acoustic magnet]

effichaaaant

[timid tartan]

I'm sick of this guy's music

[oblique whale]

It’s the song they used

[timid tartan]

I know

I'm sick of it

[oblique whale]

Oh do they play it a lot there

[grave palm]

Swipes?

[neon oak]

why is she kind of shouting but also not really

[little bough]

who isnt

[grave palm]

Bro why

[mental rover]

she sounds like she gets a $9 drink at starbucks everyday

[strange steppe]

airpods pro battery is already dope

[grave palm]

Yeah

[little bough]

shes got a weird speech

[strange steppe]

adding 6 hours really doesnt mean much

[pliant pike]

6 hours of listening time sounds like nothing

[neon oak]

could be nice

[slate hamlet]

the speaker is handy

[grave palm]

I get 6 hours now ngl

[timid tartan]

It's the generic reggaeton that people play here all the time

[mental rover]

oh boy apple house

[crude sequoia]

no usb-c oof

[neon oak]

I use them a lot and tend to leave them in my ear so they run out of battery a lot

[timid tartan]

Constantly listening to the same garbage

[strange steppe]

they added a lanyard loop lol

[pliant pike]

I was thinking of buying wireless earbuds, but if they only last 6 hours then there is no way I will lol

[strange steppe]

I wanted that

[grave palm]

So basically new airpods have radar

Poggers

[mental rover]

not until the eu stabs apple

[timid tartan]

Lmao lightning in 2022

[spare bough]

did apple not learn from the ipod touch 5 loop

[oblique whale]

Lightning cable L

[spare bough]

💀

[dry bone]

Lightning cable 😔

[strange steppe]

big L with that lightning cable

[grave palm]

Apple Lanyard 59.99

Def

[acoustic magnet]

i member

[strange steppe]

iphone 14 will still have lightning also

[timid tartan]

Shut up, Apple

[pliant pike]

I can imagine someone just wearing their airpods around their neck on a Supreme lanyard

[acoustic magnet]

inb4 EU requires USBC update

[slate hamlet]

still no refresh of the original airpods

[mental rover]

apple watch compatibility

[dry bone]

memoji engraving 💀

[strange steppe]

yeah me

[grave palm]

What a waste

[little bough]

Im good at guessing

249

[oblique whale]

I’m so ducking tired of needing a separate cable

[timid tartan]

100% RECYCLED MATERIAL

[grave palm]

Literally the same fucking thing boys

[modest elk]

my music me would love that

[timid tartan]

We're not evil!

[spare bough]

It's pretty obvious they're just replacing the old pro

[modest elk]

iPhone reveal now.

[pliant pike]

249 sounds like a lot

[strange steppe]

just the magnets

[mental rover]

im tired of that bs

[strange steppe]

are recycled

[modest elk]

Bois

[pliant pike]

We removed the charger for your own good!

[oblique whale]

How do they work

[little bough]

Sony xm

i would get sony

[grave palm]

Let’s go boys

[strange steppe]

hahA notch

[pliant pike]

same

[acoustic magnet]

wdym you don't like a slow data transfer and 20W Charging cable ?

[grave palm]

New overpriced fone

[little bough]

new iphone

[mental rover]

oh boy

[dry bone]

It looks the exact same

[timid tartan]

"We removed the headphone jack for YOU, the customer!"
And some people believed it

[honest harbor]

keeehehehehe

[acoustic magnet]

Porsche Cayenne pog

[oblique whale]

Thanks I hate it

[honest harbor]

get cucked, holepunch fans

[pliant pike]

Please apple, just get rid of the notch already

[acoustic magnet]

omfg, it still has a notch

count me the fuck out

[dry bone]

Did they just make their phones bigger

[crude sequoia]

rip the mini lineup

[neon oak]

it's not a bug it's a feature

[pliant pike]

I swear they could have used the iPhone 13 trailer for this and no one would have noticed lol

[grave palm]

14 plus

[modest elk]

Plus?

[grave palm]

Huh

[mental rover]

NO

[spare bough]

14 and 14 Plus have the notch, pro and pro max will not

[little bough]

yes

[honest harbor]

Big phone, bigger notch

[modest elk]

The fuck

[dry bone]

14 PLUS?

[pliant pike]

got rid of the pro

[dry bone]

Waht the fuck

[grave palm]

THESE NAMES

[little bough]

14 plus..

[mental rover]

THEY DID NOT

[oblique whale]

Plus ultra

[dry bone]

what the FUCK

[spare bough]

Got rid of the mini*

[little bough]

6.1" lmao

[grave palm]

No they didn’t

[timid tartan]

These names are trash

[little bough]

w/ 6.7"

[mental rover]

oh ok

thats good

[pliant pike]

Oh, did they just add a plus?

[oblique whale]

This isn’t the pro lineup don’t worry

[pliant pike]

Oh good

[spare bough]

I think they did not want to confuse 14 max and 14 pro max

[strange steppe]

this is their thing, big screen

[neon oak]

you can see more text lol what a big advantage

[grave palm]

Removed mini and added plus

[honest harbor]

I was always a fan of the Plus naming scheme.

[modest elk]

Wait them add Pro Plus Max

[acoustic magnet]

another iphone another year of wait for no more notch. YOu can't tell me you can't figure out a way to take it out when you're the world's richest company, litterally

[dry bone]

I can't see anyone using a phone larger than 6" comfortably

[mental rover]

all this means is i can get a 13 for less

[honest harbor]

It's simple. small phone, big phone.

[neon oak]

yeah you can see more on a bigger screen that's how it works

[little bough]

gets stale

[spare bough]

14 pro will have it

[grave palm]

Wait ya this is way back to iPhone 8 lol

[mental rover]

IT IS

[pliant pike]

I was gonna get a 6.7" phone but settled for 6.7

[timid tartan]

I don't like it

[grave palm]

Wait oled for the basic model?

[digital locust]

Ip 14 pls have updated silicon

[grave palm]

No way

[strange steppe]

they are rattling off ios 16 features while showing us the phone trying to convince people that these are phone features

[pliant pike]

6.7 inch is perfect for a phone

iPhones are way too small for me

[oblique whale]

Lightning cable

[mental rover]

plenty big for me

[neon oak]

did the colors even change?

[little bough]

pretty smart

[honest harbor]

"only on iPhone 14"
me: on the iOS 16 Beta

[mental rover]

ios 16 gang

[spare bough]

I think they dont want people to mix 14 "max" with 14 pro max

[dry bone]

A15

[timid tartan]

Lmao lightning in 2022

[pliant pike]

I can't wait to see "wow!!!! only 1200 euro!!!"

[acoustic magnet]

you know, good and all their new phone APU is powerful, but phone gaming still isn't good

[little bough]

its a powerhouse!

powerhouse cell of the mithocondria

[digital locust]

gg a15

[mental rover]

you kinda get used to it lol

[digital locust]

Old silicon

[little bough]

no..

[strange steppe]

not even a new soc?

[honest harbor]

Apple is making high-performance mobile hardware faster than software developers can make good high-performance mobile apps

[spare bough]

Everyone knew from the beginning 14 and 14 plus are going to be 13 clones

[strange steppe]

same soc as iphone 13 pro right?

[little bough]

Yes

[grave palm]

Yuppa

[strange steppe]

lel

[spare bough]

The 14 pro will be the real deal

[mental rover]

nobody is gonna buy the 14 lol

[thorny gust]

now I don't have fomo for having a 13 pro

neat

[oblique whale]

If they can remove a jack they can remove a lightning port and do usb c

[timid tartan]

• The Consumer (2022, Colorized)

[little bough]

hahah

[mental rover]

ill take that

[slate hamlet]

still 12mp camera

[mental rover]

i am an apple user

[little bough]

So basically iphone 11-12 is goto atm

[acoustic magnet]

the only thing i hope for is a good new Iphone SE but i doubt it

[spare bough]

13 is go to

[mental rover]

11 is mid

[spare bough]

12 battery life is pretty bad

[strange steppe]

did apple just do an SE this year?

[honest harbor]

the iPhone 11 has gimped screen and Face ID

[mental rover]

not this event

[little bough]

Only Apple watch SE atm

[grave palm]

Yeah we are on se 3rd gen rn

[strange steppe]

I know there was an iphone SE refresh recently

[digital locust]

Se 3rd gen uses a15

Same as ip 14

[slate hamlet]

autofocus selfie camera

[spare bough]

14 Pro and Pro Max will be the better iPhones, base 14 is identical to 13

[digital locust]

[mental rover]

4th gen is rumored to be in an xr body

[little bough]

there was

you're correct

[timid tartan]

Apple is selling the same phone again?

[grave palm]

This event is actually memes

[pliant pike]

Megapixels are not really important at all, my camera is 16mp and takes way better photos than the 108mp S22 Ultra

[strange steppe]

I know because I bought two for my kids

[acoustic magnet]

Fucking current iphone SE has a shit 60hz 720p screen, in 2022. No excuses can be viable

[digital locust]

Yes

Its iphone 13

[timid tartan]

Great

[little bough]

Very shocking

[grave palm]

Same AirPods, same phone, almost same watch

[little bough]

i know right

[grave palm]

This is jokes

[digital locust]

Iphone 13 called iphone 14

[slate hamlet]

yeah but they do limit the maximum resolution of photos

[oblique whale]

At what age did you get them a phone

[little bough]

Why are you shocked lol

[spare bough]

They are probably discontinuing the old gen Airpod pro

[strange steppe]

13 and 17

[grave palm]

I’m not

[pliant pike]

They don't really make a huge difference though

sensor size is way more important

[neon oak]

too bad, I love mine

[mental rover]

only think im really exited for is the new apple watch

[oblique whale]

Mine is 3 right now so just getting ideas

[honest harbor]

They brought back the purple one!

[little bough]

get them an apple watch ultra now

[honest harbor]

i have the purple i11 and I was sad to see it go

[spare bough]

They're most likely replacing it with the new gen

[grave palm]

Airpod pros 1 will be a steal boys

[digital locust]

Only for 799

[little bough]

More camera advertising!!!!

[oblique whale]

I’m gonna make her take an AirTag to school

[little bough]

majority of people that dont use

[pliant pike]

"dEeP fUsiOn"

It's HDR.

[round plinth]

that is all apple users care about even if they wont use it

[pliant pike]

very basic HDR

[slate hamlet]

sweater mode v2

[spare bough]

14 Pro and Pro Max will be the ones with the pill cutout and Always On Display

[grave palm]

Photonic engine boys

[timid tartan]

How else is Apple supposed to sell their headphone jack dongles if they're not Lightning??? 😪

[acoustic magnet]

so it has tone mapping

[round plinth]

A16 too right?

[mental rover]

most likely

[spare bough]

They will

[mental rover]

hopefully

[honest harbor]

[spare bough]

It was already leaked ages ago along with the 14 and 14 Plus

[pliant pike]

I am convinced apple are only keeping the notch so people recognise it as an iPhone

[grave palm]

We don’t need better video

[little bough]

iphone leads???

[acoustic magnet]

cameraman a homie filming these bums

[little bough]

no

[grave palm]

We need better phones smh

[timid tartan]

Did her audio just cut off?

[mental rover]

someone messed up

[pliant pike]

yes

[spare bough]

You didn't see the leaks?

[little bough]

someone fucked up

[mental rover]

the video just cut lol

[little bough]

they skipped a scene

[digital locust]

At least the dac chip inside is great

[timid tartan]

Lmao

[modest elk]

Okay I love the camera for video

[mental rover]

someone is getting sent to the labor camp

[grave palm]

5g and oled on the basic

[little bough]

omg!

[grave palm]

That’s new

[honest harbor]

I'm not seeing any video issues on the YouTube stream

[digital locust]

Best dongle for 10$

[timid tartan]

"At least", ay?

[spare bough]

Nope

Always been there

[grave palm]

Yeah I’m chilling

[digital locust]

at least

[modest elk]

y?

[humble sparrow]

oh shit Apple has eSIM support finally

[grave palm]

I mean on the basic

[spare bough]

12 and 13 have had 5G and OLED

[slate hamlet]

didn't they already

[spare bough]

along with the mini variants

[modest elk]

Our ISP is shit on eSIM

[grave palm]

Damn

[digital locust]

Havent they support it for a long time ady or only some region?

[slate hamlet]

this is just multiple eSim support

[mental rover]

why does she always look cross-eyed

[thorny gust]

you get their usb-c version

[grave palm]

Guess I just didn’t notice

[modest elk]

Since 2018

[spare bough]

It was XR and 11 without OLED and 5G

[little bough]

Micro usb**

[thorny gust]

no?

[humble sparrow]

3.5mm USB

[mental rover]

COME ON APPLE

[humble sparrow]

like the last gen Shuffle

[digital locust]

Its usb c dongle

[timid tartan]

No, no, no that's not a real connector. Lightning only

[honest harbor]

get fucked, SIM tray fans

[digital locust]

Usb c dongle for ipad pros

[little bough]

I know i just meme on micro usb

[oblique whale]

Usb a

[mental rover]

YOU PUT USB-C ON THE IPOD

[pliant pike]

iPhone is there when you need it most

[acoustic magnet]

what if you throw away the iphone

[grave palm]

Wait they got rid of sims?

[round plinth]

lol

[mental rover]

PUT IT ON THE IPHONE

[dry bone]

crash detection!!!!!!!!!

[modest elk]

No physical SIMs

[grave palm]

Bro

[mental rover]

rip

[grave palm]

What

[little bough]

Crash detection!!!

[humble sparrow]

amazing

[little bough]

Eegras showcased it lmao

[fading quest]

i mean, my iphone right now is on eSIM lol

[grave palm]

My country doesn’t support esim

[oblique whale]

Poop detection

[acoustic magnet]

she preggo

[grave palm]

How the fuck

[fading quest]

US only

[dry bone]

no way you got the iphone 14 early

[modest elk]

Oh nice

[humble sparrow]

Yeah, they're calling it "pixel"

[pliant pike]

I swear Apple add features that have been on Android for ages and act like they invented it

they constantly do it

[dry bone]

😱

[oblique whale]

Damn they got this woman standing out in the middle of nowhere

[fading quest]

oh yess

Satellite

[modest elk]

Hey it's been like that

[honest harbor]

I swear I thought Google killed this feature

[mental rover]

lmfao

[timid tartan]

Wait wtf

[honest harbor]

I guess I'm thinking of Android Auto? (on-screen version)

[timid tartan]

Is Apple selling to the military?

[humble sparrow]

Nope. Still available on Pixel 6 and Android 13

[acoustic magnet]

now she's about to be shredded by a machinegun in the helicopter just like in GTA IV

[grave palm]

Atleast give her a chair boys

[modest elk]

YT stream?

[humble sparrow]

Android Auto for not plug-into-the-car support was killed yeah

[fading quest]

yeah lol

[little bough]

tf is this scene

[modest elk]

i forgot to put in the Apple stream

[mental rover]

now you can call a precision airstrike straight from your apple watch

[digital locust]

Tell me the difference

[little bough]

now they showing some sentimental rescue shit

[timid tartan]

One is pink

[humble sparrow]

Holy crap satellite phone

[regal bane]

pricing

[grave palm]

iPhone topgun poggers

[dry bone]

bigger

[regal bane]

[humble sparrow]

That's actually pretty damn cool

[grave palm]

This poor lady

[timid tartan]

Oh hey, satellite

[mental rover]

fr fr

[honest harbor]

That is neato

[pliant pike]

Satellites are ruining my photos lol

I hope they slow down on launching so many

[humble sparrow]

It'll get worse as Starlink keeps expanding

[pliant pike]

yes

[mental rover]

crash detection is also really cool

[oblique whale]

Leave it to apple to put the pregnant lady in the middle of nowhere

[fast patio]

lol

[humble sparrow]

"walk back, bitch"

[grave palm]

speed

[mental rover]

apple watch mainly

[honest harbor]

I like how this event feels the need to explain concepts like "eSIM" and "satellite connectivity" to the audience like five year olds

[thorny gust]

isn't starlink using different materials on new satellites going up so they don't reflect light?

[oblique whale]

She can follow the Apple Watch gps back

[timid tartan]

Apple are, after all, just machista bigots

[humble sparrow]

A Starlink train flew over Japan the other night and was reflecting a dickload of sunlight

[pliant pike]

I hope so

[mental rover]

tbh the people that buy apple things aren't the guys to understand that

[oblique whale]

Sadly she needed a charge but only had a usb c cable

[humble sparrow]

They don't train too long after launch, so they're relatively new satellites

[dry bone]

At least with the apple watch ultra she got an open world AAA waypoint

[acoustic magnet]

with her new Apple watch she can see if she's about to die from cardiac attack when birthing her child

[pliant pike]

And anyway, I doubt they will just get rid of all the reflecting ones

[fast patio]

so many emergency features lol

[thorny gust]

my mistake then, I did hear something about newer materials

[humble sparrow]

yeah same

[timid tartan]

That's good, though

[thorny gust]

they won't have to, they'll eventually burn up

[fast patio]

yes

great selling point

[little bough]

i mean its cool emergency features

[timid tartan]

For example, if you're in the middle of nowhere

[mental rover]

honestly, yes

[timid tartan]

Like this lady

[fast patio]

lol

[little bough]

[pliant pike]

eventually we will have light pollution from satellites even when nowhere near a city

[grave palm]

Is the pregnant lady just a ploy to make us feel bad and buy the phone for her efforts

[humble sparrow]

This is pretty fuckin cool though

[oblique whale]

Do you think her baby has an Apple Watch too

[timid tartan]

She's about to demonstrate how to call an emergency service provider once the marketing team leaves

[acoustic magnet]

ahah

[honest harbor]

what a stupid take

[dry bone]

They left her there

[crude sequoia]

this is a subscription? lmao

[acoustic magnet]

cheaper than a QA/QC team

[pliant pike]

wait you have to pay for the service

[timid tartan]

What the fuck

[honest harbor]

[little bough]

What

[grave palm]

I’m just saying

[fast patio]

they probably announcing new macbook pro

[little bough]

???+

[slate hamlet]

time for a field test

[honest harbor]

good thing she's subscribed

[mental rover]

ellna

no

YOU HAVE TO PAY

[honest harbor]

satellites aint free, bucko

[pliant pike]

I wish companies would stop with these subscription services

[little bough]

Enviroment ⭐

[pliant pike]

I hate them

[slate hamlet]

no this is just an iPhone (& friends) event

[mental rover]

COME ON APPLE

[mental rover]

bmw is the worst

[pliant pike]

just reveal the price already

[honest harbor]

Premium emergency SOS features are a protection racket

[modest elk]

PCMR iPhone 14, Apple Watch S8/Ultra field test:

1. Crash Detection, to see if it works.
2. Emergency SOS via sat

[timid tartan]

Welp. Seems the lady didn't pay her monthly subscription to emergency service provider calls. Tough luck, I guess. Because the marketing team isn't coming back

WAIT

This literally happens in Cyberpunk 2077 lmao

[slate hamlet]

fly a plane into the alps with an iPhone 14 and see if you survive

[mental rover]

NO IT DOES NOT

[little bough]

cyberpunk 2077 reference lets go

[oblique whale]

Subscription
Domscription

[mental rover]

you gotta be trolling

[modest elk]

Just do it in a car smh

[timid tartan]

It's in the first mission

[pliant pike]

""""""just""""" 799

[fast patio]

LMAO

[honest harbor]

Switchscription

[grave palm]

Bro

[pliant pike]

799 is a lot for a phone!

[thorny gust]

robot
brobot

[little bough]

799 for a iphone 14?

[dry bone]

"""just""" 799 for the base 14, which is a recycled 13

[grave palm]

The reason it costs the same as last gen is cuz it’s the same fucking phone

[little bough]

basically

[digital locust]

Iphone 14 Plus?

[humble sparrow]

"it's the same fucking phone"
dude it's got satellite communication in it

[digital locust]

LOL

[pliant pike]

what is this music lol

[mental rover]

im botta spend $1,600 on a new apple setup

[acoustic magnet]

damn it's Idris Elba singing

[digital locust]

Plus made a comeback

[humble sparrow]

how the fuck can you say it's the same phone

[timid tartan]

*For a price

[acoustic magnet]

i recognize the voice of idris elba

[honest harbor]

what is with these jpegs

[pliant pike]

This music is terrible sorry

[slate hamlet]

i mean any phone with 5G antennas technically has the ability to do that

[honest harbor]

the production value here seems way worse than a typical iPhone TV spot

[dry bone]

Sorry, sorry.
My apolocheese, I didn't realise cause I didn't pay for the subscription 😔

[mental rover]

how

[modest elk]

Trying my best to input all

[humble sparrow]

The subscription won't remove the hardware

[pliant pike]

of course they get in a terrible car crash and the Phone isn't even dirty

convenient

[mental rover]

that photo was shown seconds ago

[modest elk]

That's the neat part, idk how I did it

[little bough]

im waiting for ipads

[timid tartan]

Did they just show someone getting in a car crash and their phone calling 911 due to "no user response"?

[mental rover]

not coming in this event

[humble sparrow]

still lightning?

[dry bone]

I love this perspective, looks like a shitpost

[little bough]

ik lol

[timid tartan]

Of course

[acoustic magnet]

so there is a different pro

[little bough]

BACK TO TIM

[pliant pike]

yes

[modest elk]

Imagine Pro Plus happening

[timid tartan]

Lmao

[acoustic magnet]

TELL ME IT HAS NO NOTCH

[mental rover]

thats amazing

[acoustic magnet]

I BEG YOU APPLE

[grave palm]

Come on boys pro

[modest elk]

Pro Plus Max

[honest harbor]

the video: an iPhone owner is killed in a car crash and silently listening as their phone calls first responders
the music:

[pliant pike]

Imagine "iPhone 14 pro gives you the all new amazing USB C"

[modest elk]

Ultra Pro Plus Max

[oblique whale]

I🅱️one 14

[acoustic magnet]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IT HAS TINY NOTCH

I CAN WORK WITH THAT

[modest elk]

"innovative"

[dry bone]

HUH

[modest elk]

We'll see

[mental rover]

$20,000

[acoustic magnet]

SORRY FOR CAPS BUT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR LITTLE OR NO NOTCH SINCE IPHONE X

[crude sequoia]

expanding notch lol

[acoustic magnet]

I'm cumming rn

[grave palm]

Oh shit

[pliant pike]

Why can't they just use a hole punch?

[modest elk]

pill size?

[little bough]

A new phone which will be 1.1k

[mental rover]

hold up

[modest elk]

i can live with that

[spare bough]

Told y'all

[fast patio]

that's smart design

[humble sparrow]

embracing the notch

[modest elk]

S10.

[mental rover]

the notch is now in software

[little bough]

Iphone 14 pro

[acoustic magnet]

yeah, maybe i'll go iphone after all.

[grave palm]

Jaws?

[oblique whale]

Love this guy

[timid tartan]

When fisheye ad

[pliant pike]

My phone has a smaller notch than this phone and it costs like 10 times less

[honest harbor]

if you don't pay the subscription, the notch gets 30% bigger

[digital locust]

14 pro boisss

[acoustic magnet]

I'm genuinely happy the notch is small

[little bough]

im guessing around 1.1k

[grave palm]

Joz boys

[mental rover]

that sounds like a bmw thing

[acoustic magnet]

this is what i hated so much in iphone

[pliant pike]

sure to become iconic

[grave palm]

Bro the purple

[little bough]

Deep purple looks nice

[grave palm]

Looking class

[honest harbor]

The punch gets deeper into the screen though. It's so big.

[pliant pike]

what is the point of the small gap above the notch?

[slate hamlet]

the dynamic island lol

[pliant pike]

Just move it up

[dry bone]

Looks quite distracting

[honest harbor]

My gut reaction is that this UX will be extremely awkward. Look how much space is dedicated to the status bar now.

[dry bone]

dynamic island.... wha

[mental rover]

but then it looks normal

[timid tartan]

If you miss 1 subscription payment, the phone will shock you with a deadly amount of voltage twice every week. It doesn't go away after the payment has gone through and gets worse every payment missed

[acoustic magnet]

but the island will flood with global warming and rising seas

[little bough]

apple pay later will join

[pliant pike]

I can't believe this, they are really trying to call the notch "innovative"

[honest harbor]

The notch isn't touch sensitive, is it?

[timid tartan]

They have to sell it somehow

[digital locust]

Ngl i think the punch hole is too big

[slate hamlet]

cool animations ig, but I don't see a battery percentage

[digital locust]

Look at this giant hole

[acoustic magnet]

the pro model is really a flex now, plebs get the big notch ahahah

[timid tartan]

Not like people won't buy the shit out of this, anyways

[pliant pike]

"dynamic island" is going to be memed so much

like the pro stand

[mental rover]

i just hit a fly out of mid air

[honest harbor]

beach bunny shoutout

[crude sequoia]

already in ios 16

[strange steppe]

Dynamic Island - top 10 vacation destinations 2022

[mental rover]

thats what she said

[slate hamlet]

ye but this is new GUI

[modest elk]

It's pretty bop

[dry bone]

And the space above the notch isnt big enough for app icons, damn this looks awkward
But it'll be quite big I reckon, so eh

[modest elk]

But I want to see if it's usable irl

[honest harbor]

These will not look as good in actual light conditions. Even OLED black still looks completely different from the phone body

[crude sequoia]

i imagine it'll be almost the same

[strange steppe]

fingerprints all over the glass thats over your front facing camera

[slate hamlet]

not if the virtual notch is wider

[honest harbor]

It's a cute design choice based in limitations personally this strikes me as much worse than the notch.

[timid tartan]

Dynamic Island:

[honest harbor]

it's just... so chunky

[oblique whale]

Don’t they have phones with no notch

[mental rover]

nope

[acoustic magnet]

to think a tablet back in the day had a 7 inch screen

[little bough]

Pro features

[crude sequoia]

i doubt itll be wider than the time and network/battery icons

[slate hamlet]

ye samsung already ships the fold with no notch

[humble sparrow]

hey look For All Mankind

[oblique whale]

Dynamic island

[little bough]

oh yeah

[little bough]

let me insert far cry 6

[grave palm]

2k

Holy

[slate hamlet]

lol it can dim wallpapers without losing skin tones

[mental rover]

i honestly perfer the 1phone 13 look

[dry bone]

I get they can't do a holepunch cause of the face ID shit but it looks so distracting

[slate hamlet]

the feature we always wanted

[grave palm]

Time to go blind boys

[timid tartan]

Leave it to Apple to sell a limitation of their phone as a feature. And leave it to people to actually believe it

[humble sparrow]

oh shit always-on display

[frozen hound]

removing the sim card is always the right way to go

[grave palm]

Finally

[fast patio]

looking at time without opening is nothing new I have it on a oneplus

[frozen hound]

i just fucking hate sim cards

[mental rover]

im guessing its like the apple watch

[acoustic magnet]

ah, so there is a new chip

[mental rover]

you can toggle it in settings im guessing

[acoustic magnet]

just not for non pro plebs

[spare bough]

14 pro is also going to be more expensive

[little bough]

1.1k

[dry bone]

1.1k?

[spare bough]

Since they are raising the base storage

[acoustic magnet]

inb4 1500 eur

[mental rover]

512gb or bust

[pliant pike]

phones are way too expensive

[oblique whale]

They always say “the most ever”

No shit

[spare bough]

they last longer now though

[mental rover]

ooh 4nm

[spare bough]

since each year phones are becoming far less revolutionary and more iterative

[little bough]

Nearest competitor

[frozen hound]

i wont buy iphone until it gets the latest Core I9

[little bough]

2022 ™️

[humble sparrow]

amazing

[acoustic magnet]

i was there for all these years when the Iphones had shit battery life

[oblique whale]

[grave palm]

I feel like this amount of performance just isn’t needed at this point

[honest harbor]

get cucked holepunch fans

[little bough]

you should feel that for every event

[dry bone]

but but but faster! and and and graphs! and betr!!!! buy new iphon!!!!

[slate hamlet]

they definitely need as much AI as they can squeeze in it

[acoustic magnet]

"pro" model i guess

[spare bough]

14 Plus vs 14 Pro non max

[mental rover]

phone on top is bigger

[honest harbor]

I'm mostly comparing screen proportions here

that's the 13 Pro Max, not to scale

[slate hamlet]

as an iPhone 8 user this is all very important to me

[acoustic magnet]

wouldn't be a bad time to upgrade for you

[spare bough]

iPhone 12/13 are the best value iPhones imo

[pliant pike]

No phone is worth more than 400 to me

[slate hamlet]

no reason to upgrade

[pliant pike]

not a single one

[pliant pike]

13 is 900 euro here

[acoustic magnet]

bought my MI 10T Pro for 420 euros get fucked

[fast patio]

dat accent wilding

[frozen hound]

bigger performance = same performance at lower power

[pliant pike]

Xiaomi best value

[slate hamlet]

it's still snappy and I do like the haptic home button

[timid tartan]

Great lendscaeps

[pliant pike]

I also have a Xiaomi

[spare bough]

Wait for price drop with 14 release

[honest harbor]

Was this scene shot on iPhone? the camera keeps auto-focusing on the background behind Vitor

[strange steppe]

they downscale at 4:1

[dry bone]

Got the Xiaomi 12 for 500

[spare bough]

In Canada you can get a 12 for $5 a month

[pliant pike]

They don't drop lol, iPhone 10 is still like 600

[spare bough]

They do

[little bough]

wonderful

[pliant pike]

Well clearly not, in my area

[spare bough]

iPhone X was a high end phone which is why it retained its value for so long

Apple drops the base model prices each year

[modest elk]

They legit milked 12 MP for so long

[spare bough]

They discontinue the high end models

[honest harbor]

The iPhone X is like $250 on eBay right now (in the us)

[timid tartan]

In the US, maybe

[acoustic magnet]

if that guy isn't brazilian then i'm not French

[modest elk]

Nice

[spare bough]

When XS came out, X was discontinued