#AMA- Final fused former DID system

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

potent summit
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Edit: the original post got deleted because I tried to link my own message in the post 💀

If I don't get any asks by the time I wanna close I will likely just like. Address misconceptions and some FAQs

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Gonna just start writing that here now methinks

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How long did you know you were a system?
I had communication rather early on in life, I always joke about the fact I wrote Wii letters back and forth congratulating on Wii Sports records lmao. I think this gave me a huge advantage in recovery, but I didn't know all of my parts, so definitely not foolproof.

How long were you diagnosed?
I was medically recognized in 2020 (yes, I know...) despite knowing it was possible since 2018. I was diagnosed in 2022.

How the hell did you do this so young/fast?
Combination of some parts awareness, the fact that I was very chatty in my head until I "heard" someone talking back, and the fact that a lot of my parts were similar inherently. Not like OSDD-1 similar, but similar. I had common beliefs amongst myself.

Did you always want to fuse?
Fuck no. I was so for functional multiplicity for years! What changed is me realizing I wanted to be together more than apart. I realized the common beliefs became more than just that rather naturally? Talking to people offline about being a system helped 😂

What do you wish you knew about fusing?
I wish I knew sooner that people aren't exaggerating when they say that it's more like becoming yourself than losing anything. You lose a lot of coping mechanisms that you developed from trauma.

How did you fuse? Any particular therapy?
Spite for my obstacles, love for myself, and a damn good therapist. Somatic therapy and Internal Family Systems were LIFE CHANGERS.

Is there anything you didn't expect?
I didn't expect that a lot of it was more natural, I'm used to the typical narrative that you have to do some dance in headspace or something 😭 I didn't do that, although I did have one particularly sweet fusion of alters, but the rest wasn't really noticeable. I kept doing headcount and falling short and then shrugging when I didn't know because I didn't honestly care as much about being separated.

potent summit
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I also didn't expect that it kinda just felt like a more solid version of a blur/fog that slowly grew larger? I thought it would be more dramatic and obvious overall, like I would become a mix instead of just dissolving barriers.

What do you wish people said less about final fusion?

  • That it is the only solution to problems with dissociation
  • That you can't be open to final fusion even when currently only wanting functional multiplicity
  • That it would ever be authentic when forced
  • That it's like ||killing|| (completely getting rid of) alters or similar, like, what??? Let people recover damn
  • For the love of everything stop saying about the weird hypnotic dance in headspace ritual like yes it's example no it's not really all that common it's more for people who want to but are struggling to

How fast was it?
I started unintentionally in 2023!

What were the signs?
I started detesting being separate in small ways at first that got impossible to ignore. I didn't want as many separate names, I just wanted to "be me", I wanted a more general self concept, I wanted to just call certain switches "moods", and I started having what I called "micro switches" which were just either an alter being added to the fusion suddenly or coming out of it, as I encouraged my parts to try it as they pleased, most eventually just settled in permanently without any big hallmark.

Did you know immediately you were fused?
I had several times I knew immediately, but it would have a few re-splits of a small amount of parts. That started a few months before I fully fused. I was at a doctor's appointment the first time? I got dizzy from disorientation but it didn't feel like a bad dizziness. It was like the excitement of getting off a roller coaster? The last time a part remained I was able to just gently coax them and they sorta just blooped in without any big feeling. I noticed a few days later I didn't feel capable of splitting anymore.

potent summit
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What does it feel like compared to before?
I feel more like I'm having emotions and not becoming them. They don't alter the course of my day 🥁(pun) I feel happier, less worried, more attached, more solid.

What benefits did you not expect?
I have been diagnosed with ADHD for a really long time... Until recently! I started getting better at a rate that wasn't able to be ignored by my team, and I was evaluated for it and don't meet criteria. The medications did me really bad so this makes sense. Final fusion actually caused my audio processing issues to almost completely go away 💀 I went from not being able to watch anything without captions to loathing them minus a few exceptions? I was NOT expecting that. But my case according to my psychologist was just symptoms from being dissociative and autistic (stimming, stimulation thresholds, and special interests making it hard to focus), and not genuine ADHD.

Any cons?
Not really? I occasionally feel a bit of grief but the grief is a bit more for the externalization and the idea of multiple people because I don't feel like I lost anything. I can experiment with expression to suit my wants instead of it being really set in stone to certain moods, memories, etc.

Obligatory "not a medical professional"

Any advice for those wishing to fuse?
Take your time, but don't let others decide that timeline. Listen to your parts and their concerns, let emotions because more unified. Achievements by parts don't stop being made by parts, but more so the acknowledgement that it's a part of a whole.

Advice for those seeking functional multiplicity?
Journaling, communicating, even staging "family sessions". Seeing "disruptive behavior" as an unmet need/stuck emotion. Feel your feelings, develop safeguards for life.

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Advice for those who really feel like their parts are different people?
This is a thing for systems obviously but it can have other causes so do seek professional guidance if possible.
That being said, the same for functional multiplicity I'd say but also grounding exercises, not idealizing the online experience of systems, meeting your basic needs when possible, developing a routine or somewhat of one so you have less decisions to make.

What happens diagnosis wise?
Depends on the person obviously! But some people just end up being diagnosed with a different dissociative disorder if they still have dissociative symptoms outside of PTSD dissociation (this happened to me, but I'm not diagnosed with DID or OSDD-1), and some have both that diagnosis and PTSD removed as they end up not having any of those symptoms either, really it does depend. There may be a scenario where it is kept on your record to stay on the safe side until it's been longer, but I'm not sure how often this may happen.

dreamy thorn
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I wanted to ask things but I didn’t know what to ask but I wanted information bc I love learning about systems and such so thank you for this information dump /gen

potent summit
placid sapphire
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I am still here Frogwave

thin oriole