#I believe I might be a high masking Autistic. Can someone help me go over it?

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

still night
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I'm Nero divergent with other Diagnosed that classify as that. I have extreme sensory issues. I have meltdowns and breakdowns. I take med for sleeping and I still have trouble sleeping. I love my stuffies. I'm sensitive to loud noises and get overstimulated easily. I prefer to be by myself. I'm very quiet and make good grades. I have hyperfixations that I obsess over and make references to from my daily life. I talk to myself and love animals more than people. Immediately when I get home from school I go straight to my room to de socialize and be by myself. There are more but I would like to talk to someone else!

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I am trying to let myself be myself. I want to start unmasking and actually being myself. I do also stim. I rock back and forth. I hand flap and and shake my hands when I'm excited. I do the t-rex arms sometimes and sometimes have my arms against my chest for security

plain lodge
still night
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Oh okay.

plain lodge
still night
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Yea. People don't really notice it for me or just don't say anything. I'm sorry people are mean to you about it :(.

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Usually when I do the t-rex arms I don't notice at first but when I do I try to stop myself from doing it because I feel like it looks weird to other people or it just seems socially unacceptable

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I also rant alot to someone for hours until I get tired and end the conversation and leave to be by myself

prisma juniper
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Have you talked to your parents or school about it?

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Also by extreme sensory issues do you mean that you have to wear noise protection at all times and have extreme sensory issues in various different senses (eg. touch, taste [which may result in moderate/severe ARFID and other ||eating disorders|| such as PICA], smell, etc?) or something else.

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Also have you tried going over the DSM 5 criteria for autism yet and seeing if you meet it?

still night
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I haven't talked to my mom about it because of know she is just gonna dismiss me. I've discreetly said something similar about a year ago and she said I that I definitely wasn't. When I say sensory issues I mean as in Clothes textures materials and food. I have researched about ARFID and I could have it but not sure. I haven't looked at criterias yet. Btw I live in the US.

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I do wear loop earbuds in school and I have noise cancelling headphones I use at home. (My dad has the living room tv at like 60 and I have a Parot Macaw that's loud and my parents yell at my animals and it overstimulates me so I have headphones for it)

plain lodge
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My mum is the same about dismissing me. I'm not sure how to help as I haven't gotten to a completely stable place. But if your mum may be dismissive, have you got a friend or teacher you could talk to about it?

still night
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I don't know. I'm not really comfortable talking to a teacher about it. I have my girlfriend she has a little sister who is autistic and my girlfriend is also Nero divergent. But I'm nervous if I told her that she might not understand because she has a little sister who is Autistic and shows her Autism more so she might think I'm lying or something

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But my girlfriend has been tested for Autism and doesn't have it so maybe she will understand

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The reason why I'm nervous to say anything to my mom anyway is because she knows I want to become a Autism specialist when I'm older and I feel like if I tell her I might be Autistic it'll be weird. My mom is super open about it and wants to understand and learn. She is also a nurse and knows and has experience with Autism children but I don't think she actually understands High masking autism in a literal level.

still night
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And even if I not technicaly high masking Autism it could be Aspergers.

plain lodge
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I dont know what to suggest. Maybe talk to your girlfriend. But (I know it's difficult) you're gonna have to speak to your mum at some point (like, directly about it), especially if you want an assessment (unless you're already in the process of it, I'm not sure). But look, you can't change how she's going to react - she'll either support you or dismiss you. Hopefully she supports you, but it's not impossible if she dismisses you (plus you've got the discord to support you ❤️). I know it'll be tough, but you'll manage. Please dm me if you need to chat, I understand your predicament hug

still night
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Thanks. I'm in that stage were I feel like I'm just gaslighting myself and that I'm not actually Autistic. But I feel like no matter how much I gaslight myself there will always be small instincts that tell me something is different something isn't right. I'm about 98% sure and trying to gain the courage to at least talk about it to my mom. Thanks for supporting ❤

tulip vector
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I have extreme sensory issues and I still think I’m autistic for numerous reasons but I got dismissed because I could hold a conversation and other stuff like that which is no annoying

still night
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Yea that's what I'm afraid will happen. I believe I could be very high masking Autistic or Aspergers but I can hold a conversation pretty well even though I have to figure out how to act how to project my voice what can I say that won't sound slightly self centered and how the other person acts when talking.

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It's frustrating. I wish professionals will actually study and learn everything and how Autism can be different for everyone.

tulip vector
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Yes it really is frustrating? I am still suffering with all the same things and I even go to a ot intensively and use headphones and have no friends and the list goes on and on

still night
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I'm sorry. I hope it'll get better for you. 🫂

tulip vector
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You as well!

ember vine
# still night Yea that's what I'm afraid will happen. I believe I could be very high masking A...

I’m kinda out of it cognitively rn from a migraine so I won’t comment on whether your symptoms/traits sound like autism but just so you know Asperger’s is no longer a diagnosis, at least not in the US, not sure about other countries, it was consolidated into ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) in the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual). I’d recommend reading up on the DSM-5 criteria for ASD as well as the history of the term Asperger’s. Personally it doesn’t affect me so idc if people identify as having Asperger’s but other people may find it problematic so just be aware of that. /nm

still night
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Okay tysm! I wasn't aware of that! I've meet a parent who had a kid with Aspergers and knew it was Autism but she called it by Aspergers instead of Autism. The kid was around 2/3rd grade.

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So I figured it was still used

ember vine
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Btw the reason I don’t go into the history of Asperger’s is that it might be ||triggering|| to some people but it’s really important to know

still night
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Okay thx! I'll look into when I have the opportunity to!

tough granite
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Your description of yourself sounds just like me a couple of years ago.

still night
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Oh okay! Thanks for telling me! There are a few other things I didn't mention just because I forgot and I've already said a lot but I've just been doing more research and watch other people's diagnostic story's.

tough granite
still night
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Yes same here. I've been into it for around 2 years learning about Autism but as well as other disorders/conditions/disabilities as well I find it extremely interesting. When I'm older I want to be a Autism specialist who does diagnostics because I want to help others.

still night
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I decided to take the Cat-q test sense I had seen someone mentioned it on one of the other forums. Can I have someone's opinion on the results?

tough granite
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I did the same test as you, I think, just now. Most of the questions just go over masking in social situations. I think that you may want to consider what masking of other autistic traits looks like.

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For example: If there is a vent in the classroom that does much sound, would you accept if the teacher put you next to it? How would you react? Would you for example wear headphones to block out the noise or would you try to push trough it, potentially causing a meltdown afterwards?

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I'm only sound sensitive so I can't really give you other examples.

still night
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I wear loop ear buds all day at school. If I was put in the pit of the noise like I usually am, I would just ignore it. I get put in the middle of it because teachers hope it would break the noise up as if I'm a wall or something. I usually go home so overstimulated stresses and overwhelmed. The noise around me at home doesn't help either. I literally got home from school yesterday and cried so hard I had to wear my noise cancelling headphones and I calmed down a lot More afterwards. I won't argue with a teacher. I think that teachers are far more superior and I'm scared to argue with them unless it's to the point I really really can't handle something.

tough granite
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I see. It wasn’t my point to argue your experience and I’m sorry if it came across that way.

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It’s hard to consult high masking autism over the internet as I’ve never spoken to you. If you are serious about this and think you would benefit from getting a diagnosis (even if just serves as self-validation) I think you should go for it.

marsh reefBOT
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GG @tough granite, you just advanced to level 4!

still night
# tough granite I see. It wasn’t my point to argue your experience and I’m sorry if it came acro...

No I'm sorry if I came across rude! I was just explaining my side and answering the questions! Though I do agree with the whole conversation over the internet it is extremely frustrating and blinding. I feel like eventually I'll end up telling my mom because I'm getting to the point I feel like I just can't handle struggling like this. But thanks for telling me! I'm just trying to build up the courage or until I break to tell my mom.

tough granite
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I hope that it turns out in your favor whatever you choose to do.

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When waiting to get diagnosed there is still many things you can do to support yourself. Feel free to ask if there’s anything you’re wondering. Autism happens to be a special interest of mine.

still night
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Okay thank you! I will if I have any questions!

ripe walrus
still night
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Yea that's a lot like me as well. I started researching Autism after I started researching other things. Which got me curious and made me watch people who experience it and everything else and it made me start wondering. I started researching it around a year ago aswell