any autistic people up in here

[young fossil]

I never said that they were a medical organization though.

[steel pewter]

The things I’ve listed here are huge red flags

[steel pewter]

You said they were a good source for PDA info. To be a good primary source for psychiatric information they would have to be a psychiatric organisation

[young fossil]

There isn’t much information about PDA to begin with…

[steel pewter]

Community sources can be secondary sources for psychiatric information and primary for community information but cannot be primary for psychiatric information especially not places like this who charge people for likely bogus ‘coaching’

[young fossil]

But I can se where you’re coming from.

[steel pewter]

Yea, there isn’t much information about PDA but that shouldn’t be an excuse to spread wrong information

( nor promote sudo-scientific organisations )

[young fossil]

I wasn’t aware that it was wrong. I’m not trying to make up an excuse for anything. This is what I’ve read about it.

[steel pewter]

I wasn’t accusing you, I think excuse is the wrong word for that sentence

I don’t know what the right one is

[young fossil]

Okay cause it felt like that when you wrote “[…] but that shouldn’t be an excuse to spread wrong information”. /lh

[steel pewter]

Yea, sorry

[young fossil]

It’s okay. Thanks for the apology. It’s hard for me to read messages without tone tags.

[azure bolt]

I believe PDA used to be a separate condition, but is now a part of the autism spectrum. Correct me if i'm wrong. But reactance theory is also a thing if you're interested in researching

[steel pewter]

It was coined by Elizabeth Newson in the 1980s to describe a profile of autism, it wasn’t ever a separate diagnosis

[azure bolt]

Oh! thanks for correcting me👍

[steel pewter]

Mhm, PDA is really interesting cause it was only until extremely recently that anyone considered in earnest it might apply outside the autism spectrum or as it’s own full diagnosis ( when I say in earnest I mean actually trying to test if it could hold as its own diagnosis )

also, research suggests that the driving force for PDA might be anxiety which would mean that if it did become a stand alone condition then it might actually go into the same umbrella things like OCD do since they have a pretty high anxiety component

( not that OCD and PDA are all that similar at all, they just both share the whole anxiety component thing )

[young fossil]

I believe I’ve heard something about selective mutism might be an internalized version of PDA as well.

[steel pewter]

I think in some cases that could be an interesting angle to approach it from

I don’t think that works as a blanket statement personally due to cases where people with SM don’t exhibit any outward PDA behaviours but that’s my opinion and it could definitely be worth exploring in cases where outward PDA behaviours are exhibited and what could be the connection there

I need a study looking into the co-occurrence rate of those tbh

[steel pewter]

Off-topic from the above conversation but I feel like I’m the only autistic person who craves vegetables

I keep seeing content online about ‘autistic people crave beige foods’ and I’m sitting here currently craving this thing I do where I just put broccoli, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, carrots, and green beans in a bowl and eat that. I also once put pumpkin in it and that was glorious. Other things that may find themselves in the bowl are: zucchini, spinach, bell peppers, chicken or chicken nuggets depending on the amount of spoons I have, tuna or other fish, mushrooms, asparagus, and cauliflower

This isn’t a flex, I just need one other human who actually enjoys vegetables. They’re so good but I’ve heard absolute nonsense like ‘no one craves vegetables’ and I’m sitting here suffering because we haven’t gone grocery shopping yet and I’m out of spinach and potatoes

[tawny marsh]

Anyone have any advice for going back to school as a person that is just learning about how to finally unmask

[abstract pine]

I like vegetables, they're good

[steel pewter]

Vegetables are a godsend

[abstract pine]

Fr

[steel pewter]

What’s the best ones?

Like, in your opinion

[abstract pine]

I love carrots, broccoli, and asparagus

Oh and sugar snap peas

[steel pewter]

Peak choices

[abstract pine]

Thank yeww

[cunning dragon]

I frequently crave lettuce but I prefer to cover it in vinegar lol
(Same with cucumber)

[abstract pine]

Ooh cucumber

I love cucumbers that's one of my favorites definitely

[cunning dragon]

I need consistency, and I find vegetables to be more consistent than most fruits

I also definitely am sensory seeking in the way of sour foods and vinegar etc

[abstract pine]

Ooh, yeah

[abstract pine]

I hadn't really thought about that, but yeah

You're right

[cunning dragon]

:3

[young fossil]

It definitely depends on the vegetables and how they are served I think, but I like most. I also happens to dislike the texture of most meat so I just say I’m vegetarian in most cases (even though I’m technically not, just easier).

[azure bolt]

Yo I love veggies sm. I'm almost vegetarian save for chicken nuggets

Although cold tofu and rice has been my safe food since i was 3, so still not beating the beige food allegations lol

[tawny marsh]

Anyone have any advice for going back to school as a person that is just learning about how to finally unmask

[tawny marsh]

My mom said that she thinks I have PDA

[azure bolt]

I'm homeschooled so i dont have any tips really, but just make sure you give yourself time to rest 🙂 Taking care of yourself is just as productive, and its easier to stay consistent with stuff and not try to speed ahead or procrastinate. You got this.

[sick breach]

do any autistic people here get accused of condescending people when talking about a special interest, or even just in regular speech?
i'm only suspecting autism for myself but this is something i deal with on the regular. pretty much all of my relationships have had struggles at times bcs they assume I'm being rude or something, despite the fact I'm pretty good at reading tone (just not conveying ig)
sometimes I actually wonder if i really am angry or rude? Other times, the fact they misinterpreted my tone makes me frustrated which then only makes me seem more rude/angry.
if anyone else experiences this please let me know /gen

[hearty basalt]

I deal with this all the time. my mom always gets mad that I'm "giving her tone" and being rude, but it's never intended. (I also don't have a diagnosis, but I'm working on getting one with my therapist)

[limpid talon]

GG @hearty basalt, you just advanced to level 6!

[cunning dragon]

Does anyone else ever find themselves just not able to make decisions? Im realising it happens to me a lot and I wasn’t able to order food off a menu

[steel pewter]

That’s a really common thing with autistic people

To get stressed out or freeze up at choices

I can be given a maximum of 2 choices and must be given multiple minutes to make my decision, anymore than 2 and I ain’t doing this shit

[frosty grove]

Absolutely yes, always been the way with me!

[cunning dragon]

Glad to hear, I feel like I’ve never seen much about it and it’s a massive struggle for me

[tawny marsh]

I find that I struggle to do more than one thing like say if my mom tells me to do dishes but just before I start doing it she will tell me to make my brother breakfast
Like I cant do everything

[lean mason]

absolutely

[idle elm]

We get told we one up people. We don't even know how to do so

Sol ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) do any autistic people here get accused of condescending people when talking about a special interes…

[azure bolt]

Oh 100%. Especially when I'm just trying to politely correct misinformation that I am keen on, and then i'm just "arguing"

[young fossil]

The “have a good weekend” gives me chills.

One, a weekend is never “good” it’s just a constant loop of trying to figure out stuff to do (or needs to get done) and then focus all your energy on that and by the end of the day you’ve still not completed the task.

Two, you’re supposed to get rest and come back recharged. I’m never feeling energized. Trying to work out executive functions is draining. Also seeing everyone else rest and tell you to relax is so frustrating.

Three, you’re still a human who needs rest to function and still can’t make it happen.

I hope someone can relate to this.

[frank wigeon]

100% relate. Now when someone says it to me I just go "yeah, I wish" or something like that

[fresh sky]

Hella relatable!

[humble veldt]

Hello

[tawny marsh]

Hru

[somber jackal]

||Meow~||

[limpid talon]

GG @somber jackal, you just advanced to level 1!

[mellow sphinx]

Can you please spoil this, it triggered my ||tics|| and I dont want anyone to be triggered to. /nm

[somber jackal]

Sorry I’m not 100% sure what you meant, can you please explain in the simpler way?

[cunning dragon]

She’s asking if you can censor your message because it’s a common tic and could trigger other people’s tics

[somber jackal]

It’s interesting to know.

Please let me know what other stuff that may trigger other people’s tics. As I’m still trying to learn about it, and I really don’t want to accidentally hurt others in any forms.

(And also what word/topics I have to make words blurry)

Thx

[cunning dragon]

Thanks for understanding! If you want access to the tic channels you could grab the “I want to learn about ts/tics” role

[somber jackal]

Where can I find that? Sorry still petty new in this group.

[cunning dragon]

It’s in the #🐞pick-your-roles channel where you got your other ones :)

[somber jackal]

Thanks so much, I’ve found it ^_^

[young fossil]

I hate having autism.

[rose plaza]

Is this a feeling you have to sit with til it passes or do you want to talk about it? /gen /nf

[young fossil]

Thanks for your kind answer. I guess I’m just tired of being disabled. I haven’t really processed the diagnosis still and guess had somewhat hoped that it would have been “cured” or easier with age. It’s not.

Instead of becoming more independent I’m becoming less and my problems with executive functions just spirals down at the moment. It’s hard to see that everyone else my age can have a job and graduate and all these stuff and I’m “stuck”. I should stop compare myself to others but it’s so hard. I had another picture of myself growing up and it was completely washed away when I got diagnosed.

[tawny marsh]

I nearly had a meltdown in school yesterday because of how stresss i was and it was a huge changed in my routine, I had my book but It was too loud to read and in my class there are 30 people who i dont get on with but I only get on with 1 of my friends
Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this

[patent spear]

I used to make sure that if I was going into a situation like that I would be prepared before and after, so for example I would have a routine to follow in the morning before school that let me have some time to relax a bit, and after school I would take half an hour or so to put some headphones on, hide away and just recover. That's just for school in general, it might also be worth finding out how your school could help during the day

[tawny marsh]

Ya like so many people were going for movement breaks but since I am only just diagnosis I dont go out but I think I should

[topaz gazelle]

I totally get itttt

It's really difficult to see your peers do so many things and then looking at your life and thinking, "I do so much less than them and still feel at my limit"; esp. when you also sometimes see other autistic people do more than you feel capable of doing

It's true that we shouldn't compare ourselves, but sometimes it's impossible not to. I guess the only helpful thing I could say is that you are not alone in this feeling and that I'm here if you ever want to talk

And Kayla (not tagging you because you have no pings activated), I'm sorry, that sucks. Honestly I hated high school, though I wasn't diagnosed yet. I guess just have compassion for yourself, and try to make little routines and lists of coping mechanisms that might help (like music, books, fidgets, etc). Use that list both for school and for recovery after. Also, if it's possible for you, ask what accomodations the school can give you (like permitting noise-cancelling headphones and giving you more time for assignments)

[topaz gazelle]

Something I'm struggling a lot with at the moment (which has to do w. this) is autistic slow processing. Everything takes FOREVER and is really tiring

[tawny marsh]

I only think I have a small room and able to use a computer to type and to use fidget toys but thats it

I also really want to be on student council as I want to do something in leadership but it won't be possible because none of the people in my class voted me

[young fossil]

Thank you. It means a lot. I was honestly a bit scared to admit this because it felt shameful. It’s nice to hear that Im not alone in this feeling (if you understand what I mean).

[stuck apex]

I know this is an older message but I had the vibe earplugs before I got the loops
I didn't like them as much because they stick out of my ear, the loops fit better for me
But if the ring of the loops is too big or sits weird in your ear, the vibes might be a good alternative

[stuck apex]

I do! Veggies are so good.

[stuck apex]

I'm struggling with this too at the moment and it sucks, sorry to everyone going through this too/commiserating

[topaz gazelle]

Does anyone have any tips on handling autism and periods?? My brain is so upset all the time and my sensory issues are going overboard to the point where things I have never had trouble with before, like brushing my teeth, are giving me the ick. I also have chronic stuff so I'm in pain and have cramps and I'm ||nauseated||... but yeah, any tips/life hacks?

[patent spear]

Unfortunately I can't recommend much more than having some painkillers on hand, warm drinks (I really like ribena or something similar), not beating myself up for being less productive than usual, curling up on the sofa with a hot water bottle (or my dog) and developing a routine to help combat dysregulation

[steel pewter]

I personally never recommend pain killers if you’re ||nauseous|| unless you know 100% that it’s fine

( emeto ) ||I’ve so many instances where I’ve just thrown up from taking pain killers while nauseated||

Warm drinks is definitely good, don’t beat yourself up, everything Moose mentioned. I’ve found any sort of distraction works quite well, mostly videos, just anything that doesn’t take much energy on your part and that you enjoy and that usually helps you regulate would probably help even a little bit

[steel pewter]

Other things that help me personally are:

• increasing how much water I’m drinking
• wearing clothing that’s warm and comfy ( if the sensory of your clothing is horrible then it’s just gonna make your sensory worse )
• breathing exercises and weighted things and other stuff that helps with stress
• not having caffeine or another stuff that my body hates, this’ll differ depending on how your body reacts to different foods and drinks and stuff

[steel pewter]

( Ping )

[cunning dragon]

Oh and if the feeling of smth warm on your abdomen doesn’t bother you, a hot water bottle or even just your arm will help with pain hopefully

From my experience, the pain is worse if you’re not eating enough but that might just be a me thing

[fervent basin]

Guys waiting for the report after my asd/adhd assessment is so annoying it’s been two weeks and I’m not sure when I’m gonna get it 😭 I wish I was given a specific date

[sonic patrol]

I'm at this stage too rn, was given an estimate of around 6 weeks (just autism not combined assessment), waiting is really hard

[fervent basin]

Wow 6 weeks is a long wait

[idle elm]

Made fidget toys for my medical lanyards

[novel moss]

hi im self diagnosed autistic and adhd. i wish i could get a diagnosis but its very expensive here, i also have tics and possibly tourettes. i have all the symptoms for tourettes and ive tried to get as much research for autism but for me it severely overlaps with adhd and im so confused lol.

[jovial seal]

one of the things you can think about (ik some people dont have this but most people do this) but you need a routine to function but you have a hard time sticking to one or motivation to make one. (thats one of the examples where you can tell them apart from each other)

[novel moss]

I struggle with withholding a routine but I feel lost and unmotivated and often end up not doing or forgetting the task.

[jovial seal]

then it is likely you have autism and adhd (i can give you a few more examples to tell them apart if you want)

[jovial seal]

also for tourrettes you need to have multiple motor ||tics|| and at least one vocal ||tic||

[steel pewter]

I wouldn’t say that from just that, at all

Autistics with low thresholds for deregulation, who have trouble with ADLs, etc. also tend to have trouble keeping up their routines

Please don’t go around telling people one trait is indicative of having both.
I don’t have ADHD so I’m not speaking from experience but just the science: there is no way to ‘tell them apart’ when one person presents with both. A person’s disorders don’t exist separate from each other, they intertwine. The way to tell if you have both is do you meet the autism base criteria and the adhd base criteria? Okay? Cool. You probably have both.

( also, so sorry if i sound rude, I’m not trying to be )

[novel moss]

Here's why I think I have Tourette's: I have both motor and vocal tics. My tics have come and gone and changed. I've had tics for over a year ( about 2 years ) and I'm under the age of 18. They are not caused by anything else.

[novel moss]

Agree with that, I most likely have both and I find it very hard to tell the difference and I don't think there actually is a difference for me. And I dislike when people associate autism with routines and orders because it is a lot more than that especially for high masking people.

[young fossil]

Here’s a diagram that I found helpful. Disclaimer, this isn’t a tool for self diagnosing.

This is very general btw

[steel pewter]

As an autistic person who cannot mask for shit but struggles way too much with daily tasks to have a traditional routine: it’s a thing that affects a lot of us negatively. There is some presentations of autism where that does happen and they are super orderly but what order is gonna occur when I can’t brush my own teeth without a visual guide, you know?

[novel moss]

You are wrong

Very wrong

Autistic people can mask

[steel pewter]

I’m saying I personally can’t mask

[novel moss]

Oh ok

Oh sorry I read it wrong

[young fossil]

For me autism is a lot about routines and order. I get if you dislike that because you can get viewed as this “structured person” when in reality it’s much more to it.

[steel pewter]

A lot of us do need consistency cause that’s in the criteria but that doesn’t mean all of us have every minute of the day planned. Some of us do and some of us very much do not

[novel moss]

I check off everything for auHD

[young fossil]

Not everyone can mask due to different reasons. It varies a lot on how much one can mask.

[novel moss]

Yeah

[young fossil]

That’s very well put.

[steel pewter]

Thanks

[young fossil]

Well. That sucks /hj

I would suggest searching online for tips on how to manage it, but sadly the combination isn’t very well researched and there isn’t much help to get.

At least from my experience

[steel pewter]

In my experience there’s a lot of benefit to at least an autism diagnosis but that’s mostly cause I ended up needing therapies

[young fossil]

Yes the individual diagnoses can be helpful, but mostly you end up with strategies that is helpful for one of the diagnoses not both.

[novel moss]

Honestly for me if I went to therapy for auHD I would only really need it for emotional coping and dealing with emotions and bad thoughts

[young fossil]

Then I think there would be help to get

[steel pewter]

True, for that community resources are pretty useful

[young fossil]

nods

As said, I don’t know what’s available in other parts of the world but where I live it’s pretty non-existing. And what I’ve seen online it’s also not that much.

With that being said @novel moss don’t be afraid to reach out. We’re more than happy to discuss!

[jovial seal]

yes i know its not like that, thats why i said that i could give more examples if they wanted me too /gen

[steel pewter]

I guess so

[jovial seal]

sorry if that came arcross rude i didnt mean it too

[steel pewter]

You didn’t

[cunning dragon]

Does anyone else find changing bedsheets really stressful? I can’t really work out why but they bring me close to a meltdown every time

[jovial seal]

Yeah I do

[cunning dragon]

Do you know why?

[brazen stone]

I think its at least partially the amount of like steps? And the entire process of changing everything, having different sheets, and just the pure energy it takes to physically do it

[cunning dragon]

Only ideas I’ve gotten that apply is 1. Unexpectedness 2. Having my stuff in the ground 3. Not being able to use my bed for a period of time and then it just overall stresses me out??

[steel pewter]

Not really? I put my stuff on the desk next to my bed and fight the bed to take the sheets off ( mattress is heavy, hard to lift )

[jovial seal]

Yeah I was also about to say like the amount of steps it takes to do it and for me it's also a sensory thing and just physical effort just in general

[young fossil]

Currently struggling a lot with energy balance as school has started again. Does anyone knows of any apps or similar that could be helpful?

[tawny marsh]

Finch is good

Also do you bring in fidget toys

[rose plaza]

Unfortunately I'm experiencing that aswell rn :/
I have finch, I recently installed "Challences Alarm Clock" because I have massive trouble getting/staying awake and getting out of bed.
I also installed the app "Antistress" (on Android), which has a bunch of virtual fidgets/mini games
Aside from that I'd be happy about any tips aswell /gen

[young fossil]

What do you mean? /nm

[limpid talon]

GG @young fossil, you just advanced to level 21!

[tawny marsh]

Do you have any fidget toys in your bag

[young fossil]

Yeah?

[novel moss]

I bring fidgets constantly and people just think I 'fiddle a lot' but really it's self regulating otherwise I can't focus for shit

Thank god I do, although I feel like I'm faking because I don't have a diagnosis at all and my brains like " nah you've just used them for so long you cant go without them" and Idk if that's actually true or not.

[stuck apex]

For what it's worth, if anything, that's just more of a sign that you actually do need them

[inland solar]

im watching dr. mikes video on the press conference abt tylenol causing autism and what trump says is literally funny to me
(sorry if i need to censor anything plz tell me if i do!)
"this is based on... my feelings..."
"see, bobby is careful with what he says. i am not careful with what i say." (idk if he said bobby or not i couldn't really hear without captions)

[scarlet cairn]

yeah omg that whole thing made me want to bang my head against a brick wall :/

and the fact that so many people believe him as well :((

[inland solar]

yeah

[steel pewter]

How to tell the difference between autistic burnout, burgeoning depression, and just freshers flu? The first are most likely but the things I’m experiencing can happen in both and I keep calling it burnout but I honestly just wanna sleep forever but also, it might just be cause I’m sick???

The depression thing is coming from the fact I just realised my room is a mess and I’ve not been taking my meds but that could also happen cause autistic burnout tbh

[young fossil]

Why does so many write “high masking” in their introduction?

[steel pewter]

Because people find that relevant information

I don’t get it tbh but that’s prob cause I can’t mask at all

[young fossil]

I’ve got a feeling it’s to get away from the level system.

[steel pewter]

Prob but support needs make more sense to me in that case

It at least somewhat communities the range of day to day, linguistic, social, etc support that person requires

[young fossil]

Yes. I should have clarified that it was more of a “why do they find it to be relevant information” than a “why”?

[steel pewter]

I think they find it relevant because it communicates a bit about what their experience as an autistic person is

( sorry, I’m typing this in class so I’m trying to contract it and then I realise I switch persons if I do that and I don’t really want to )

[young fossil]

Not sure what you’re talking about but you’re fine either way.

[young fossil]

Just curious, if you were to introduce yourself to someone would you mention that you’re autistic and/or your level of autism?

(Reloaded because of the ping sorry!)

[steel pewter]

Yes

I basically always introduce myself with the fact disabled because I find that very relevant tbh

[young fossil]

Is it a case of “they will notice anyway” or a case of “I want to tell them”?

[steel pewter]

It’s a case of they’ll notice because I 1. Wear a sunflower lanyard with disability pins 2. Limp about half the time 3. Am very very horrid at social stuff

I also stim a lot in very stereotypical ways ( rocking, hand flapping, etc )

[young fossil]

Okay

[steel pewter]

In the case of high masking I think it’s also that they don’t get a lot of opportunities to talk about it irl unless they actively decide to and they have to figure what the appropriate time to bring it up is and all that

So putting it in a discord intro is just a natural way of getting to talk about it a bit

[young fossil]

That makes sense

[steel pewter]

( and maybe to find other folks who are also very high masking )

[young fossil]

That sounds totally valid. However I struggle a bit with the term. It sounds like an achievement (in positive sense) I think.

Just want to put out here in case anyone reads back. If you call yourself “high masking” that’s totally valid.

[steel pewter]

I don’t think it’s an achievement cause masking can be a big cause of burnout in many autistic people

[young fossil]

Jup agree

Just telling my thoughts on the word

I guess my sense of the word comes from how society views high masking people as “better” in a sense.

[steel pewter]

Society sucks though

[young fossil]

Totally does

[brazen stone]

im starting to think I may have very light ODD, (oppositional definiance disorder) like i refuse to watch/listen to stuff if im told too, sometimes I can convince myself it is my idea, and this generally doesn't apply to stuff people send me, but stuff like chores and stuff like that, I will do it, but it litterally makes it harder if I keep getting told

Maybe that's not ODD but idk whay it is then
Anyone have any ideas, its starting to make alot bigger impact on my life then it ever used too

[steel pewter]

There’s an autism thing that does this

I forget what it’s called

[steel pewter]

Demand avoidance

[cunning dragon]

I like to call it persistent drive for autonomy :3

[limpid talon]

GG @cunning dragon, you just advanced to level 21!

[steel pewter]

I don’t

I don’t really get that shift?

Idk, prob cause that’s just not how I experience it

[cunning dragon]

That’s fair, the og phrasing personally makes me uncomfortable is all

[hidden karma]

Me (Also newcomer to this discord server i mean)

[jovial seal]

can i dm you about some info on odd and similar things such as PDA (pathological demand avoidance) even tho it is more common in autisic people, people with adhd can have it too idk what you prefer me dming you or keeping it in here? the reason why i ask to dm is that idk if im allowed to send links in here but if you are not comfortable with it i can always screenshot the things or type them out

[brazen stone]

Sure

[steel pewter]

?

I was pinged here and I can’t find how

[cunning dragon]

Oh they deleted the message

It was just saying the full name of pda

[steel pewter]

Ohh

Why’d they delete it?

[cunning dragon]

I think they realised you knew already, or that you have the no pings role

[steel pewter]

ohhh

my thing is I don't like the word 'pathological' in the original phrasing which is why I tend to shorten it to just 'demand avoidence'

[cunning dragon]

Ohhh yeah I get that

[jovial seal]

I'll do it later as I've only just woken up

[brazen stone]

Ok nw, I know quite a bit abt pda and odd and stuff cause I researched it a while ago but yea

Thanks to everyone btw

[jovial seal]

thats fair im used to saying the word the 'pathogical' infront of it but i dont like saying it like at all i think its because im used to saying it i forget to shorten it too demand avoidance

[jovial seal]

Kk also I've kinda forgotten where I put the info like wether I have book marked it or screenshoted it or not but if I find where I have put them ill dm them to you

[brazen stone]

Ok nw

[unique badger]

Autistic here!!!

[placid urchin]

Genuine question for my AFAB people, how do you get psych professionals to take you seriously? I got tested for autism and ADHD and felt very dismissed by the person doing the evaluation.

She proposed diagnoses for generalized anxiety, social anxiety, depression, various mood disorders, adjustment disorder, and even some kind of trauma issues? But she said I can't have ADHD because I wasn't "disruptive in class" when I was little, and I can't have autism because I "engaged in imaginative play" as a child (???). She also gave me an IQ test, and said that since I scored high on it, I couldn't be autistic either (???).

She ran on very antiquated and stereotypical traits and couldn't seem to understand that if I have autism and/or ADHD, it's going to look different than if I were a 5-year-old boy. She threw every other diagnosis at me but refused to consider those two, and it gave me a weird feeling.

None of the other disorders she suggested seem accurate but I don't want to argue with her or make it seem like I want ADHD/autism. I am really quite indifferent to the result of the testing but I want a fair and professional evaluation and I felt like I did not get that.

Has anyone else had strange experiences with psych professionals and how did you advocate for yourself?

(Also I hope the language I used here was okay. Sorry if there's anything disrespectful!)

[steel pewter]

Straight up just look around

I tried maybe 7 psychs ( I can’t remember exacts ) before one gave me a fair chance

Don’t look around until you get one that will diagnose you, that’s not what I’m saying. Look around until you get one that’ll give you a proper assessment no matter the final result

[placid urchin]

Seven? Wow, okay thanks!

[steel pewter]

One of them ghosted me so properly it was six

[worldly fog]

hiii

i was recently diagnosed

[rose plaza]

Welcome ^-^
How are you feeling about it?

[novel moss]

I wish I was 😢

[worldly fog]

Aww

[limpid talon]

GG @worldly fog, you just advanced to level 1!

[worldly fog]

it will get better

[rose plaza]

I live in a small-ish town where there is no autism support group (at least not for actually autistic people, only parents of autistic children), but I think I want to try a group setting where other people kind of get what I'm going through. I found a group for young adults with depression and/or anxiety (which i also have), but the only way to apply/contact them is by calling😭 like what do you mean it's a group also for anxiety but you can't email them?!?
Ive originally wanted to wait until I get my "autism support thingie" approved and ask the support worker to do it for me, but I still haven't heard back from the city and I have them all my documents on September 1st. I can feel my mental health declining and I don't have therapy as support anymore, so I'm kind of desperate for some people who might understand me. But I really hate that you have to call them and can't email, so now my question is, has anyone done something similar before and what could the call possibly go like?

TLDR: I want to join a support group but "application" is only via phone call, does someone have an idea for a sort of script of what they might ask and how I could reply?

[true willow]

Hiiii

[limpid talon]

GG @true willow, you just advanced to level 2!

[tawny marsh]

Dealing with burnout for the first time because of school and having no support at all

[sonic patrol]

Firstly sorry to hear there's no autism support group near you, there aren't any where I live either and it's super frustrating. Very annoying they don't have an email option, I agree it doesn't make much sense in this context. I haven't done something like this myself but I would script something like:

• Hi, is this the correct number for the anxiety/depression group
• Is the group still running, if so how would I go about joining
• when/where is the next session held
• also, is there an email address/social media you can use for future communications as this is easier for you

I don't think they would ask you many questions other than your name and age, since you're enquiring to them for more details, but you could ask them specifically if they will need any more details from you before joining the group so you know you'll need to discuss this in a future conversation with them

Hope that helps a bit!

[sonic patrol]

Hey I know you posted this a while back, wanted to say sorry to hear about your experience, it doesn't sound like they were very understanding at all. I wanted to second ArsonCrows advice and strongly encourage you to seek another opinion, because some of the statements that assessor made are just flat out incorrect and it's sad to see assessors still using outdated stereotypes in their diagnostics

[rose plaza]

Thank you, this is super kind of you and definitely helpful!
I don't know when/if I'll call yet, but if I do I'll update here :3

[tawny marsh]

I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this so today I was in the middle of a meltdown and I just wanted to be left alone but my mom and grandad just kept on talking to me and I was telling them to leave me alone but they wouldn't
After a while I was upset and overstimulated I just walked away to be by myself and then I calmed down and I also did tell them what I need to help regulate me but my parents wouldn't bring me like I wanted to go to the car and I felt like I had to hold in my tears as I was in a public place and didnt want my family talking to me
If you do experiences this do u have any advice as I need it

[stuck apex]

What part of the situation would you like to get advice for? /genuine question

[tawny marsh]

Just how to deal with it

[frank wigeon]

I have no idea what to do. I had an argument with my mum yesterday about something absolutely ridiculous (I had moved the sofa ready for something, I had asked her whether I should but she didn't respond so I moved it - apparently I shouldn't have). I was getting really agitated because she couldn't understand, and she kept being a hypocrite but didn't like me pointing it out and kept saying I was treating her like a 6-year-old. At this point I was crying and she kept saying she didn't understand how this was happening and that I should "grow up" (I'm 24) and stop acting like I was having my 6-year-old "tantrums". I told her it was an autistic meltdown but she said "it's a reason not an excuse" and "I don't understand how it's gotten worse, surely it should be getting better". She says that pretty much every time I have a meltdown (and I have boughts of them being quite frequent). I don't know what to say to her. She doesn't seem to want to understand why I act the way I do - she's even accused me of acting childish in public just because I got excited (I had a massive smile on my face tapping my feet and doing 'flappy hands') that I saw some plushies (they are my complete obsession). I'm just fed up and tired of fighting. If anyone has suggestions please please please give them, I am desperate (please @ me)

[young fossil]

If she’s not interested in wanting to understand you, then I would honestly try to limit the contact with her. I remember reading something similar to this a while ago, so you’re not alone! If you need her to help you out with stuff, is there someone else you can seek support from? I know some states have support programs and such for disabled people. Perhaps look into that?

Non of this is your fault and you deserve to be surrounded with people who understands you or at least treats you with respect.

[frank wigeon]

The problem is, she's the only person I talk to - i barely talk to my brother, I have limited contact with my dad and I dont have any friends. The problems only seem to be when we're with eachother for too long (couple of weeks). I dont know who else to get support from. I don't know of any programme here in the UK, but it might be worth a look. Yeah, i guess its not my fault but I feel like right from the beginning I was the one at fault in my family ( ||abuse from my dad|| & the divorce). But I'm scared about losing the only person who talks to me

[young fossil]

That’s a valid fear. I don’t live in the UK so sadly I can’t give you any insight on that.

This could come of as a strange suggestion, but do you know if there’s anyone close to her (friends, colleagues etc.) who she listens to?

That could try to reach out with information?

I did a very quick search to see if I could find something. Since I’m not living in the UK I’m not sure how good these are, but they might be something to help you get started. Look up gov.uk and look for “benifits”. It seems to be mostly to apply for different kinds of allowances. I also find a website called scope.org.uk which it seems like you can call to get support with what you can apply for and such.

Short version:
gov.uk for financial stuff
scope.org.uk support group (?) who you can call to get guidance on where to apply for stuff.

@frank wigeon

[frank wigeon]

Thankyou so much. I already get the gov benefits (mainly because of everything else, the autism is new so its been added on the reassessment). I will look into scope, thankyou

[turbid burrow]

Hello everyone! im new here. Im austic and physically ill and isolated. ive been bed bound for about 2 months so im trying to find people to interact with sometimes. i hope im in the right place. how is everyone?

[idle elm]

tired

[turbid burrow]

same brother hows your sleep

[idle elm]

horrible

you?

[turbid burrow]

18 hours yesterday and it felt like 30 minutes me/cfs is such ass

[jovial seal]

i feel ya

[brazen stone]

I have just had one of the worst experiences ive had at an airport, it was hongkong international at one of the continuing on security, and 3 planes had just landed and so heaps of people had connecting flights, they were severely understaffed, weren't giving priority to families with kids under 10- not evan infants, they were basically only giving priority to wheelchair users and while thay is super important important there were also people with white canes and crutches and sunflower lanyards having to line up in the extremely crowded lines, they basically also ignored people who were saying that their flight leaves soon- a family behind us with a baby hahd to repeatedly ask to be moved to the front of the line cause their flight left in less then half an hour, they were also mot organising the lines for the indemnification checker very well(kept telling people to come from the other line into the line I was in evana tho we only had one entrance while the had 3, and when we asked if we could go into one of the other entrances it was a very stern no, the staff they did have were also moving extremely slowly

I understand that they were very understaffed and 3 flights had just come in, but not having a priority line, as well as only haveing 3 working/turned on indemnification machines(fourth was a security member) is insane

This is quite unlike my first time flying through this airport(it was a week ago) but both times, despite the sunflower lanyard website saying that it is a supporting airport there was nothing about sunflower lanyards from what I saw in the connecting flight securities I went through

Obviously this is just my experience and I expect it was just a one off thing, and I got unlucky, but yea

Also if I should censor any ofo this or move this somewhere else please let me know

[steel pewter]

I doubt every time anyone says they’re part of the sunflower lanyard scheme

My uni says they are but no one realised I was disabled until I got my cane despite me wearing a sunflower lanyard 24/7

( and people still ask why I have the cane, I have ‘chronic pain’ on a pin on the lanyard, always visible, it is right there )

[steel pewter]

More crowded airports tend to be like that

[brazen stone]

Yea, I think it was just because a few aircraft's had come it, my mum apparently left a scathing reveiw(her words not mine)

The uni thing sucks tho, im sorru

[idle elm]

It’s chill, I’m filling a formal complaint about it so hopefully it gets better

(Pls@) ratsss|| ratbags sys ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) The uni thing sucks tho, im sorru

Eh?

[steel pewter]

( I hate when other alters turn on auto proxy, ignore the proxy )

[young fossil]

People who’ve turned 18: how do you deal with ||the increased pressure on what you ”should” be able to handle due to your age and also the massive changes?||

[tawny marsh]

All this month my parents and teachers in school are like we need to start looking at what colleges you are going ti and what u want to do when you leave school

The only thing I want to do is help people and get out of this country

[hearty basalt]

I am currently going through the diagnostic process, I have seen one paediatrician who basically told me I was too old for him to diagnose with certainty. my therapist believes that I'm autistic (prob audhd). is it okay if I give myself the autistic/adhd roles? should I wait for a dx?

[cunning dragon]

I think it’s ok!

Plus if it turns out you’re not adhd or smth it’s really not a big deal

[hearty basalt]

oki, ty :]

[inland solar]

Does anyone else struggle with the transition between getting up and getting ready for the day
Bc I find it really hard to get out of bed because of many factors, and the transition is just really hard
Especially because I have no motivation for anything (yay depression /sarc)
Also is this worth mentioning if I do get in the process of an autism diagnosis?

[hearty basalt]

I definitely struggle with it, especially the sensory aspect of it. the transition from leaving my nice warm bed and comfy pj's to abruptly being cold and less cozy is hard

I think it's worth mentioning

[lean mason]

i do yes. too tired to develop /neu /nav

[stuck apex]

I do bc transitions often leave me a bit disoriented
I do a bit of physio in bed, mostly mobilisation that starts with very, very small and gentle movements before transitioning into light stretches. It helps me with getting out of bed because the first movements are very low-stakes so it's easier to motivate myself to do them. And from there it's a fixed routine which gives me security and predictablility. And also helps bc I don't have to think about all the steps I need to do at the same time, it's enough to just think about the very next small step so I don't get overwhelmed as quickly.

And everything else I need to do in the morning while/after getting out of bed is also part of a fixed routine. But starting the routine with something very small and easy to do, like lying on my back and just lifting my hands up and wiggling my fingers a bit, helps with finding the energy to start the routine.

[high shell]

im autistic

[hazy quest]

I want to know if I am autistic. Any help

I took a quiz and this is the result:

[hearty basalt]

those quizzes aren't diagnostic, they're often quite surface level. I would recommend learning about the diagnostic requirements, there's plenty of videos that break them down (Yo Samdy Sam and I'm Autistic Now What? on YouTube are helpful channels)

If you'd like some more reputable quizzes I'd recommend going to the embrace autism website. some good quizzes are the AQ, the "aspie" quiz, CAT-Q, and more. again, they're not diagnostic but they can help for screening purposes

[hazy quest]

Can you please tell me what I might be autistic about? How about you ask me a question from your experience and I answer it?

[wicked pulsar]

I think their advice of using those screeners would be a better place to start - autism is such a wide experience there is no such thing as an "autistic experience", but rather it's when someone has a lot of a specific type of experience or they experience them in extremes that it then can be an indicator of neurodivergence

[hazy quest]

On CAT-Q
my score was 115. I think

[cunning dragon]

CAT-Q is more masking focused, and not specifically for autism I think

Maybe have a look at the RAADS-R as well

Also general research if you’re up for it is really helpful

[hazy quest]

The aspie quiz

[hazy quest]

RAADS-R

My score

On the questions I didn't know how to answer, I clicked on "true only when I was under 16"

[hazy quest]

...

[steel pewter]

?

[hazy quest]

um. I only put that when I want someone to start a conversation, a new topic, etc.

[brazen stone]

Generally you just have too wait, people not might be up, or online or they might be busy

[hazy quest]

Yea, but thanks

I also solved some medical Autistic quiz

[outer python]

Hello

[idle elm]

Hi hi

[hazy quest]

Hi

[slow plinth]

hiiii!

[young fossil]

Have anyone read a book called Energy accounting by Dr. Anthony Attwood and Maja Toudal?

What did you think of it?

[steel pewter]

Anyone else hate when you get into the zone right before an allocated break?

Like, I don’t wanna take a break cause I’m really into doing this thing but I have to cause I’m gonna be antsy if I don’t?

There’s a reason the allocated break exists but I don’t have to like it

Also, is the ‘45 min focus max’ thing untrue or does it just not apply to ND people cause my usual is 2 hrs

[verbal pawn]

I think it doesn’t apply for ND people. I get the most work done when I go and don’t stop, and it is typically still productive rather than just doing stuff for the sake of doing it.

Only replying to that last message because I don’t have a response for the other questions

[steel pewter]

Makes sense

[stuck apex]

Yeah I think this is just an average value (as with most of these things) and it'll be different for different people, especially when looking at neurodivergent people

[frank wigeon]

Does anyone hve any idea on how to educate people on autism?

[lean mason]

depends on the person, on ur relationship with them, on how much they already know about autism...

if they use social media u can start sending/showing them popularized content. content that talks about autism in a simplified way, while still getting important points across.
shorter videos (youtube shorts or instagram reels for example, instead of super long youtube videos) might be a good start and it will be more 'digestible' if the video isnt too long! visual instagram posts can be helpful too

if they are able to and/or would rather read scientific articles, then u can send them some.

i dont remember where ure from, but in france, the government has a website with info on autism. u could send the person u want to educate links to government info!
it tends to be quite clear and visual with lists and stuff to make it more readable

https://www.instagram.com/colourblind_zebra/ she has quite a lot of visual popularized and simplified info on autism :)

https://www.instagram.com/neurodivergent_lou/ she has some posts with more visual stuff, some posts with more text

https://www.instagram.com/audhd_academic/ she is a lot more engaged (i love her content) so maybe not so suitable for someone that is just starting to learn about autism or someone that isnt very open minded. might be more appropriate later in their learning journey

https://www.instagram.com/candy.courn/ their content is great, also quite popularized, videos are very lively so its super helpful if the person you want to educate struggles with their attention span

[idle elm]

We follow some of them on Instagram

[lean mason]

im a bit tired so im gonna stop there but yeah :D hope it helped a little

[frank wigeon]

@lean mason thankyou so much. Its my mum, shes not too into social media (no Instagram etc, only occasionally youtube), so might send some articles then. I'm in the UK. Thanks so much for the info ❤️❤️

[stuck apex]

I'm not sure about the others, but at least the last person (candy courn) also posts on YouTube as far as I know

[tawny marsh]

What should I do because I cant cope with this being the problem like she is making me out to be

BTW callum is my younger brother

[frank wigeon]

I'm so so so sorry that she's treating you this way. You are not a problem, its not your fault. My mum has a go at me for the way I act, so I sort of understand. Is there anyone else close to you that you can talk to to get their opinion or suggestions?

[tawny marsh]

Not really

Like my dad would just agree with her

[safe sail]

I get where she is coming from, however, I feel that maybe there might be a misunderstanding between you both and the best way to solve it is to try and speak to your younger brother and just try to understand how he feels and him try to understand how you feel. It can be quite hard for siblings but if you could manage that then I think it will benefit you both

[tawny marsh]

I dont think I can talk to him because I will end up in a meltdown because he just cusses at me and all

[safe sail]

How old is he?

[tawny marsh]

13 I think

[safe sail]

Ah

And how old are you? If you don't mind me asking?

[tawny marsh]

17

[safe sail]

Yeah okay I can see the issue here

[tawny marsh]

Like my mom set me off by sending that and just that I dont get anywhere like he is just allowed to say whatever to me

[safe sail]

Because he is younger than you he is just going to play up for possibly attention or because he may find you "annoying" as that can be an issue with siblings. The best thing to do (if you can because ik it's hard) is try to avoid speaking to him when he is like that and possibly try to get maybe your mum or dad if they will is have a conversation to him about how your his older sister and he should respect you because no matter what as the older sibling you will be there for him when he needs someone the most.

[safe sail]

That is an issue I don't think I can help you with

[tawny marsh]

But they honestly won't

[safe sail]

Do you think maybe sitting down with your parents and explaining how you feel may help them understand??

[tawny marsh]

They honestly just don't care about me

[safe sail]

Have you thought about speaking to a possible therapist or social services?

Ik that's a bit extreme

[tawny marsh]

I wabt to but my parents wont

[safe sail]

You don't have to speak to them with your parents consent due to being above 16

[tawny marsh]

Ya

[pliant garnet]

hi

[final totem]

Gutentarg :3 👋🏻

[round field]

Gutentag!

[stuck apex]

Hiya!

[stark quartz]

Hey

[final totem]

How muchdid the fireworks affect y'all? 😀

[steel pewter]

Thankfully no fireworks here

They had fireworks on guy fawkes and that was a nightmare

I think I had a panic attack that time

[final totem]

Our neighbours had then ever freaking second

[final totem]

oh dang

I just sat and continued to watch the movie my mum picked out cuz I couldn't do anything else

Cuz it be "why r u covering your ears? It's just fireworks! It's not that loud?'

So yeah. 😀

[steel pewter]

Who the fuck thinks fireworks aren’t that loud???

[tawny marsh]

How do u get your parents to finally like you
They keep on saying that i ruined their family day out. This is why you shouldnt bring an autistic person to see a fireworks display. I hated it all I wanted to do was stay in the car.
There was no plan no routine which upset me alot because I couldnt predict what was going to happen because it kept on changing

[sage vapor]

Does anyone is like ahhhh because now we have to write 2026 and not 2025 and that in addition (at least in my opinion) 2026 looks ugly and kind of wrong compared to 2025. 25 is like prettier....

So yeah does anyone relate?

-# and having to say happy new year to anyone you meet now for a whole month even unknown people (I hate talking to people I don’t know or know from far far so changing what I normaly say is awfull😭)

[steel pewter]

Yes, absolutely yes

[stuck apex]

Same and same, for both of those aspects

[sage vapor]

We are not alone😅

[hazy quest]

there were too many fireworks and firecrackers

I don't have ADS, but the sound still bothers me. When I went out to watch the fireworks, which I love, I put on my noise-cancelling work headphones that my dad brought for my brother. It was a relief when I could watch the fireworks without worrying about the sound.

[rose plaza]

I'm visiting my granny with my dad atm and here, in stark contrast to at home, there were very little fireworks and only for 10 minutes at the most. I had my ear-defenders ready, but I only used them for 5 minutes or so.
Really happy that the people aren't as big on fireworks here, for all other people and the animals aswell!

[rose plaza]

Ugh, yes. Getting used to writing 2026 will take a month at least😩

[final totem]

I sadly don't have noise cancelling headphones cus my mum doesn't really accommodate my diagnosis much, only that she changed the School decision (?) it's a lil paper that says what I need help with and for a long time it was just for my crap eye sight, but now it's that and my ASD,

[final totem]

I kinda zone out (?) when I'm either overwhelmed or just cuz, but the fireworks were just so much I had to mask? I'm not sure though since I can't really tell when I'm masking and when I'm not. but masking in my own house is crazy 😀, but sadly if my mum would see me crying over sum 'silly old fireworks' she'd say it's 'not that loud' and tell me to get over it :/

[topaz gazelle]

I am so sorry they treat you this way. You are not a burden and absolutely don't deserve this. Autism is a disability FOR A REASON. I'm not sure I can offer any advice, though. I'm not sure what to say other than you're valid, and sending love ❤️

[topaz gazelle]

I'm sorry so many parents are like this. 😔 I'm in a similar situation with my mom, though there are some moments in which she is willing to listen to me and help me. Sometimes you have to pick your moments to talk to them and trying to get them to understand. This is my case though, and I know a lot of people don't have that option with their parents. I hope you find a community that accepts you and makes the accomodations you need. Sending love, you are valid ❤️

[topaz gazelle]

My sister is like this too 🙃

[hazy quest]

Same

People are like, it's fireworks, it's not loud at all, while me and my brother want to run away from that sound. Well, everyone understands my brother, but they don't understand me.

[outer python]

Yh

[round field]

Does anyone here have experience with an autism coach and was/is it helpful for you?

[idle elm]

Sorry. What is that? /gen

♤ Ikea ♧ (pls @) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Does anyone here have experience with an autism coach and was/is it helpful for you?

[round field]

I'm still doing a bit of research but basically its someone that can help you deal with/do daily tasks related to autism that you otherwhise might struggle with. For example if you have trouble going to stores you might go out and do that

[idle elm]

Makes sense!

♤ Ikea ♧ (pls @) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) I'm still doing a bit of research but basically its someone that can help you deal with/do daily tas…

[stuck apex]

I don't have any personal experience as a client (yet) but I'm doing an internship at a place that offers this, so maybe I can answer some questions

[round field]

That would be extremely helpful, thanks! I was just wondering in what ways they offer support, is it more like doing exposure to real-world things like actually going out and doing stuff or is it more like just having conversations and teaching things without doing them because i'm still a bit confused about that

[stuck apex]

I mean tbh that might vary depending on the place specifically or possibly even just depending on the country you live in, bc standards may be different I think.
Where I work currently, both is an option. It's usually something you'd talk about with your counselor/coach/therapist to figure out in what areas exactly you need support and then what kind of support would work best for you.

[round field]

Ooh alright, thank you :)

[rose plaza]

Does anyone else struggle with washing their hair? I'm not sure if it's autism related but I can never get my hair as clean as when my mum does it (nowadays she does it very rarely, washing my hair over the tub, only when I explicitly ask) and I think it's a problem with getting the product massaged into my hair¿
I think it's partially a sensory and maybe partially a motor issue, it feels super weird to me.
I've seen these, I think they're called scalp massagers¿, online, that some people swear by. Does anyone have experience with them and do they help?

TLDR: Problem with getting my hair washed properly, do scalp massagers (a product) help?

[steel pewter]

Yes, very much so

I think for your issues that you’ve said here that would probably work, things that work for me cause I have really short hair is washing it in the sink but I don’t think that would work if you have long or even medium length hair

[stuck apex]

Idk if this will help you, but if you haven't tried it you could try if it makes a difference. I have found that sometimes the water in my hair isn't enough to dilute the shampoo enough to get it everywhere it needs to go. So sometimes when I find it hard to shampoo all of my hair, I will re-wet my hands a few times or put a little more water on my head and that makes it easier to get all my hair covered with enough product.

[rose plaza]

I already try to do that, but it is a good tip /gen

[rose plaza]

I've tried washing in the sink, but yes, my hair is too long unfortunately :/
I've bought one of those Shampoo brushes/scalp massagers now though and will report back if/how it helps ^-^

[steel pewter]

Having short hair is such an advantage tbh, I wash it with a cup over the sink basically, it takes less than 5 minutes and it’s lovely and it dries really fast with just a towel so all the sensory icks are basically gone

[outer drift]

Hi!!

I have level 1 autism

[hearty basalt]

hey! I was wondering how people felt about the new autistic barbie doll. I myself have a big interest in barbies and I'm happy with their steps towards disability inclusion, I want to hear y'alls opinion :)

[cunning dragon]

I think the design is good but I don’t like the company all that much

[hearty basalt]

I think she's a beautiful doll, I'm glad they made her a POC because of how underrepresented they are and how often they go undiagnosed/misdiagnosed. I'm glad they partnered with ASAN

[hearty basalt]

do you mean Mattel?

[cunning dragon]

Yeah

[brazen stone]

I like it, im glad she is a POC and higher supports needs, as autistic POC are underdiagnosed/misdiagnosed and underepresented, and higher supports needs are also under-represented

[hearty basalt]

that's fair, a corporation is a corporation

[cunning dragon]

I pretty much feel similar to how candy courn does

[hearty basalt]

I think that's a good perspective

Barbie has released a series of disabled dolls in the fashionista line, I'm glad many more people can see themselves in barbie, I think it's good representation. however, it is still a company looking for profit

[brazen stone]

Yea

[hearty basalt]

I personally hope they release multiple autistic barbie dolls to show how every autistic person is different. they made multiple dolls with down syndrome, so I don't think it's a stretch to think they'll do it

I'd like them to make one with a more neutral expression, I personally have been told I have a very neutral/sad resting face

I know they donated more than 1,000 autistic Barbie dolls to hospitals that have services for autistic kids and they worked with ASAN, but I think they could do more. I wish they had a percentage of profits going towards supporting autistic people and their families

[outer drift]

I love it! I’m glad that they made her a girl & a POC, bc autism in girls & in POC often goes unrepresented, or at the most, represented poorly.

I’m just happy to see good autistic rep!!

And, actually, I bought the doll a few days ago! It’s sitting on my nightstand :3

[steel pewter]

I love her but I’ve seen lsn autistics complain about her being more visibly autistic and my response to that is just shush

“Why is she an aac user? Why does she have headphones on? Not every autistic is like that” shut up!

It’s a very small portion of people but it ruins my enjoyment of the doll to pretend Mattel did anything major wrong with her, the doll is lovely

[restive hornet]

Have I been listening to epic the musical for 7 hours straight? Yes but I won't stop.
It's my device Pinterest fyp, YouTube fyp, and Google search all epic... Yes.
Do I have a massive hyper fixation? YEAH!

[verbal pawn]

EPIC!! I’m currently in a Hadestown hyperfixation, but it was EPIC just before that

[prime flicker]

Helloooo

[flint widget]

Hii

[prime flicker]

How are you?

[grave osprey]

Hi

[sage vapor]

Hii. I had a question. I really think that having a visual schedule with things to "check" once it's done could really help me to do my daily activities (brush my teeth etc..). I already have finch and things like that. It's better than nothing but I really think that having something irl, physical with me would be better with really something to "check/push" once it's done.

The issues are that I don’t know where to find / how to do something like that.
And even if I manage to have/make something like that I still live with my parents and I don’t think that they will be okay with me having something like that...

So I was wondering if anyone has advice ?

[young fossil]

I’ve done a physical schedule using a pice of cardboard and clothes pegs with different activities written on them. Not sure if that’s what you were looking for, but I’m happy to share a picture of it later if you’re interested:)

[sage vapor]

Oh yeah if possible thanks I am curious. I am collecting as much ideas as possible to see what would fit bettet for me 😁

[stuck apex]

Some ideas for visual schedules etc I have used or seen people use (as someone who is both autistic themselves and works with autistic people):

• Cardboard with cut-out panels for every step/activity that you can fold up once you've done the thing (materials needed: cardboard or paper, pencils or stickers, scissors)

• Chart with squares/stars/whatever works best for you, that you can color in or cross off or put a sticker once you've done something (materials needed: paper, pencils or stickers for marking finished activities, if you want to make it reusable you can either laminate the paper or put it in one of those transparent document sheets and use an overhead marker or reusable stickers)

• board with activity/step cards that you can add and remove using velcro tape (materials needed: cardboard or laminated paper or some other stable board, cardboard or laminated paper for your cards, something to draw/write steps onto your cards like pencils, stickers or a printer, something to temporarily stick your cards to your board like velcro tape, double-sided tape if it's not too strong, or if you use a magnetic board or stick magnets to the board you could even use magnets taped or glued to your cards)

You could also attach cards to a board using paper clips

(If these ideas are hard to visualize, I can take photos or draw them later when I'm at home or when I'm at work tomorrow, I'm currently on the bus so I could only type)

[sage vapor]

Thanks a lot✨️

Yeah maybe if you can so I can be sure that I visualize it correctly 😃

I heard many people talking about carboard and laminated paper. I have a machine to laminate so it can be a good idea😃

I have like an idea stuck in my head on how I would like it to work but I don’t know if I would be able to do it. I will try to phrase it and maybe find images to illustrate maybe someone would have an idea because currently I am stuck on this idea like stuck stuck I can't think on anything else for the schedul but at the same time 0 ideas of how to do it and I am thinking at the same time that it won't be possible to do

Like something like this to mark it done

The green and red things is not an obligation (but it can be a plus) it's really like the click sound and physicly moving it that attracted me

And which is stuck into my head

Which is kind of upseting tbh

[stuck apex]

Laminated paper is used often because it's relatively sturdy and you can stick stuff too it and often remove it without damaging it, so it's quite reusable. And it's mostly waterproof which makes it good for schedules used it the bathroom or kitchen or for writing on it with removable overhead marker.

[stuck apex]

Ooohhh that looks cool, I'll think about it

[limpid talon]

GG @stuck apex, you just advanced to level 12!

[sage vapor]

I will go for that I think thanks😁

Well... go for that. I am planning this but at the same time don’t know if I will be able to use it if my parents are here. I already use finch which is better than nothing.... but I don’t think they will be okay with me doing and using something like that 🥲

[sage vapor]

Yeah I cut it from a written schedul with a timer

I will put a picture maybe it will interest some people

[stuck apex]

You could probably get the moving parts with like two or three layers of cardboard but that wouldn't make the click sound

[stuck apex]

That's pretty cool! Thanks for sharing

[sage vapor]

🤔 indeed

But the thought of the sound can leave my head 🥲

[stuck apex]

Mh I'm thinking how to DIY something
Some fidget toys have sound like a clicky switch or those pop-it things, I'm wondering if it would be possible to incorporate something like that into a DIY cardboard visual schadule

[young fossil]

I don’t have any clothes pegs in English but you get the idea.

[sage vapor]

Yeah thanks I understand better now thanks 😁✨️

[stuck apex]

Here's an example for the foldable schedule (I don't have one rn so I just made a tiny mock-up)

(The folded sections can be secured with paper clips or velcro or something else if they don't stay up on their own)

[sage vapor]

Ohhh yeah I see thanks 😁

Nice drawings 😃✨️

[stuck apex]

I can't find a photo of a schedule with velcro-backed cards, I'll try to take a photo of one at work tomorrow

[sage vapor]

Oki thanks I think I can imagine this one 🤔😁

[stuck apex]

Here's an example of what I called a "chart" earlier (in this case I printed out a free template I found online, put it into one of those transparent sheet protectors or whatever they're called and colored it in with overhead marker)

This is for doing the same thing multiple days in a row, but by changing the template I can imagine this also working for the different different steps of one activity and just wiping it clean and reusing it every day (or every time the scheduled activity is happening)

[sage vapor]

Ohhh yeah I see I have a "diary" with something kind of similar in the idea of checking repetition

[stuck apex]

Oh yeah I forgot the word habit tracker lol

[sage vapor]

Oh I just noticed I put the grey in the wrong row 😅 I can't unsee it now😅

[stuck apex]

What I meant was, I think this would also work for orientation within one activity as well
Like if you'd draw or write the different steps of brushing your teeth for example and laminate the paper, you could also cross off/color in the boxes or symbols for each step (or use those little star stickers teachers use sometimes or whatever you like best/is easiest or most fun for you)

[sage vapor]

Oh yeah I see. I think I know how to do it etc.. it's more remembering, finding motivation/energy and making me doing it... that I struggle with. I learnt recently the words executive disfunction I don’t know if it's really this.

So it would be more like : washing my face / brushing my teeth / doing "sceen care" / etc.. etc...

[young fossil]

A lot of people with autism and ADHD struggle with the executive functions / lh

[sage vapor]

Yeah it why I thought of asking here as some people who are struggling too may have tips 😃

[stuck apex]

This is how a visual schedule can look for something like cooking

[sage vapor]

Ohhh yeah I see thanks😃

[sage vapor]

I thought of something I made something like that. Tomorrow when I will be home I will take a picture it can be usefull

[round field]

I hate that all my friends are like "yeah we totally get you're autistic and that you struggle eith some things more than others" but when i'm actually struggeling for example with my processing speed while playing a game no one bothers to slow down or take me into account and i hate it so much. I also don't want to use my diagnosis as an excuse so i have a hard time bringing it up but i did ask for what i needed in the moment.

It's just so annoying, because I initiated the game (Mind) and one of my friends just dictated that we keep adding more cards when i let her know that was too much for me so i wuit and they continued playing without me

[sage vapor]

I did this for the "daily life" like cleaning, doing the laundry etc... because I keep forgeting and my mom was upset that I always ask.

I will done one soon for shaving because I keep forgot how to use the electric shavor

[stuck apex]

Oh that's such a great idea! Thanks for sharing!

I mostly struggle with remembering how to do things I don't have to do very often like how to clean the windows but this could still be useful for those kinds of tasks

[sage vapor]

I don’t do those things often too as I still live with my parents😅

[sage vapor]

😉😁

[stuck apex]

I do still live with my parents too

[sage vapor]

It has positiv and negativ aspect I think 😅
Because I still think that I won't be able to do the visual schedule for exemple 😅

[stuck apex]

Yeah, I get the positive and negative aspects. for me the negative aspects are that I still "have" to mask quite a bit around my parents. And living with my family means a lot of sensory input I can't control because my room is next to the living room so I have to walk through there every time I need to go to the bathroom or kitchen. So if my parents or siblings are talking or watching TV or have the ceiling lights on bright setting, it is quite overwhelming and I don't have a lot of control over it. It also interferes with my routines quite a bit, especially after waking up or before going to bed (because that are the times I rely on rituals and routines the most).

But they are getting more supportive slowly, as they understand more. Today my parents and two of my siblings are going to events in the evening and my mum let me know that therefore the living room will be "empty" tonight, so I can go there if I want to

[sage vapor]

Yeah I agree. They don’t really understand sometimes so I still have to mask sometimes.
And same the sensory input is hard sometimes. Even more when I am already over stimulated or that my brain is like : ahhhhhhhh

I recently had a talk with my mom which hurts me because she said that I was horrible in some moments and I said that it those moment I was feeling horrible and she answered not reallynm nicely. Few time after I tried to explain something in the daily life and aknowledge the fact that I can't do anything about that I can't forbid them to do something and she answered really roughly too... it was not comfortable at all as if she didn’t listent to me

-# I learnt while talking with some people that the horrible moment are meltdown (internal or external) and that what I tried to explain to my mom was a moment where I am close to a meltdown etc....

[sage vapor]

I found this and I am currently trying to think before buying it and see if it would be a good idea

It has good reviews

Just apparently you have to take something to open the case there is no hole

[royal plank]

TW: Swearing
I put my mom through so much ||shit|| as an autistic ADHD teenager, and the fact that she still puts up with my ||ass|| is astonishing.

[rose plaza]

I think this is what we had in our sed school. You can slide the paper in and write different tasks. The paper can be swapped easily

[sage vapor]

Great😁
I talked with someone and now I think I won't buy it.... but it's good to know thanks😁

[idle elm]

Who else feels like they are struggling with more periods of not talking

[grave osprey]

I wanna get diagnosed but I don’t want my parents to know because they’ll think it’s weird and I don’t want to feel so excluded and feel like I’m NT

[sage vapor]

If you are adult you can try to get diagnosed without them knowing. I think I saw some people who did the tests without their parents to fill the papers etc..

[clear zealot]

i didnt need my parent to be involved in order to get the diagnosis (diagnosed at 20). just needed someone who knew me in childhood and could comment on my behaviours etc. but this may depend on diagnosis provider

[lean mason]

i got diagnosed at 19. my mom is aware (i chose to tell her, i was not forced to) but my dad doesnt know and probably will never know because i cant/dont wanna tell him.

depends on where u live yeah but if ure over 18 u can definitely get tested without ur parents knowing

[steel pewter]

I got diagnosed at 15 or 16, can’t remember, but my dad pstill doesn’t know

[lean mason]

my psychiatrist (she diagnosed me) did ask for an appointment with a parent or family member to gather information on my childhood. i could not take my parents for safety reasons (i do not trust them and have reasons to). so i went thru the childhood questions with my grandma instead. a friend of mine (also diagnosed at 19) went thru the childhood questions with her older sister.

[clear zealot]

if you dont want to take anyone, i had the option to just talk about what i remember of my childhood, but again this is likely provider-dependant

(to be clear: with the way the diagnostic process worked for me, i would have had 1 session to discuss my childhood, and then a second session/elongated 1st session to discuss my childhood (in place of having someone come in to discuss it with me)

[grave osprey]

i'm 18, I dont really want to get it very late, i love my parents i just don't feel comfortable telling them, i dont want to gaslight myself anymore

[rose plaza]

I did

[rose plaza]

Me too, I brought my primary school grade papers (I can never remember the English name) and talked about what I remembered

[young fossil]

Question: I’m being told my chronic fatigue (it’s consistent but Im not diagnosed nor think I’ve got ME/CFS) is because I’m Audhd. Have anyone else got this explanation?

[steel pewter]

Eh?

[sonic patrol]

My diagnostic clinician explained to me that AuDHD can cause massive amounts of fatigue, and presentations such as needing to sleep/rest a lot straight away after being out for the day, or working, or socialising are very common. I think we underestimate how tiring it is to mask, deal with overstimulation (or on the flip side, work hard for stimulation because we feel understimulated), socialise, or just generally keep up with day to day responsibilities. And then of course there's burnout as well, which can cause fatigue.

With how much overlap there is with neurodivergence and chronic illness I wouldn't want to say it's exclusively one or the other, I think often it's a combination of things

[young fossil]

Did you not understand the question or was it a dumb statement? /gq

sorry for the ping

[young fossil]

That’s probably true!

However I go to a school with people who are neurodivergent and I don’t feel like I’m even close to having the same energy as them. It’s dumb to compare yourself to others and I know they might have reduced schedules and rest a ton when they get home… but they’re the only people I can compare with.

As you said, both neurodivergent and chronic illness can be true at the same time sadly 🫠

[steel pewter]

I was confused

I’ve never heard of anyone making that correlation

Hylia explained it well tho

[young fossil]

Yeah I agree. It’s strange.

[stuck apex]

I'm not sure I have gotten that explanation from a medical professional before, but I've heard about the connection from other AuDHDers and therapists before, I think.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, as I'm also wondering if my fatigue and high need for rest can be explained solely by my AuDHD or if there's another chronic illness causing it. I don't have an answer for this question in my case yet either.

[jovial seal]

i have heard of that corroletion before

[novel moss]

I think I have autism and ADHD anyone else have the mix and high functioning?

Is anyone able to help me?

[clear zealot]

what do you need help with? /gen

[novel moss]

Understanding if I actually have auDHD or if I’m tricking myself

[limpid talon]

GG @novel moss, you just advanced to level 12!

[steel pewter]

people online can't really fully tell you that

[modern veldt]

yeah its not a this and that when it comes to diagnosis really you need to ask yourself and those around you whether you align with what is considered AuDHD and it is a spectrum.

[grave osprey]

Same idk if I’m AuDHD or just autistic or ADHD

[novel moss]

?

[novel moss]

I can’t get a diagnosis so I’m trying to collect info from the internet and other neurodivergent people to better understand myself

[hearty basalt]

personally for me, what really helped was to find out all I could through YouTubers like me. I'm a fan of I'm Autistic Now What and Yo Samdy Sam has a helpful video breaking down the DSM-5 criteria for ASD

my recommendation is to learn more about the auDHD experience, and to find YouTubers with similar experiences to you

[hearty basalt]

I don't think people in this forum can really help unless you have specific questions

[abstract pine]

Yo another I'm autistic now what fan!!

[steel pewter]

Anyone else here absolutely hate ear drops sensory wise?

[lean mason]

yes

i had ear drops prescribed a few years ago bc my ears kept clogging it was horrible

i tried the ear drops once (i really didnt want to)

it was horrible.

never did it again

[abstract pine]

Yes

I hate anything in my ears (liquid wise), I had some prescribed and only used them once because they were awful, luckily the issue I was having resolved on it's own.

[steel pewter]

I have to use them every few months and it makes me wanna cry every time

[round field]

I got the autistic barbie and i love her so much! I know it's still just to earn more money but i'm glad there's more representation out there! :D

[stuck apex]

I love that her AAC device, headphones and fidget toy are matching colors. I hadn't noticed that before.

[topaz gazelle]

I love that she has an AAC device aaand that she's not white. We really need more representation of non-white and higher support needs autistic people!!

[stuck apex]

Yes that too!

[hearty basalt]

does anyone else feel their hair? like if you part your hair you can feel it pulling from your scalp. I feel like I can always feel the roots of my hair and it hurts

idk if this is just having a hypersensitive scalp or something else

[smoky depot]

so idk if i do have ASD or not but ive seen this in ither People with ASD and its rocking. I always rock back and forth but people are just assuming im bored but in reality its a compulsive calming motion, any thoughts or ideas?

[round field]

Well autism is a name for a LOT of certain traits that go together so one isnt a way to tell wether you are autistic or not but if you notice that you relate to a lot it could be a good idea to talk to a specialist if possible

[steel pewter]

You have ADHD according to your roles

Stimming is also a trait of ADHD

[flint widget]

Stimming is also adhd

[royal plank]

Does anyone else hear their eyes? I NEED to know if I'm the only one. So like if I blink in a quiet space I can hear my eyelids moving over my eyesballs and it sounds squishy because of the moisture on the eyes combined with the soft tissue of the eyelids and it drives me nuts.

[steel pewter]

Yes

For me it’s cause my eyes are dry af though

If I put in eye drops the sound goes away

[young fossil]

Jup

[lean mason]

yes eyelids are noisy

clicky sorta?

[hearty basalt]

if I get air between my eyelids and eyeballs it sounds clicky when I blink

[sage vapor]

Exactly !

[smoky depot]

I can't unhear right now lol

[topaz gazelle]

YES. It's really annoying. And I do get the feeling it sorta hurts. Just my hair being on my scalp. I don't like it. My hair also overstimulates me a lot.

[limpid talon]

GG @topaz gazelle, you just advanced to level 11!

[hearty basalt]

I'm glad I'm not alone in this, it's super annoying. I like having my hair shorter so it's less likely to overstimulate me, but then can't fully tie it up

[topaz gazelle]

Absolutely. I mean, I don't want anyone else to feel it because it is very annoying, but I'm also glad I'm not alone. The ache of it sometimes feels as if your hair was kinda "heavy" and pulling on your scalp? Like a mild burning sensation. I didn't know anyone else felt it as well.

My hair also overstimulates me often in different ways, but something that also annoys me quite often are the baby hairs around my ears and neck that I can't fully get rid of or put up. Sometimes I get the urge to just shave my head 😅

[hearty basalt]

that's so real, my friends spent months convincing me not to shave my head lol

[stark quartz]

Hey peopel. I'm doing a blogpost series for autism awarenes month and I would like to do a post about the different challenges that people with low support needs face compared to people with high or medium support needs but I need help with that. So I'm looking for a person or multiple people with medium or high support needs who is willing to answer some questions about the challenges they face i their daily life due to autism. If you are able to help me please ping me and we can either chat in private messages or on this server. Also if you want to otherwise help me with this project I made a thread for that in the general chat

[remote shadow]

hello

[limpid talon]

GG @remote shadow, you just advanced to level 1!

[mellow sphinx]

I’m low support needs and I’m interested to answer a few questions!

[steel pewter]

I know being bored when you have nothing to do is perfectly normal but oh my gods, my teacher’s late and I’m dying of boredom, the autism needs tasks

[rose plaza]

Sorry, I'm a bit confused, are you looking for low support needs folks or medium/high support needs? I feel like the two sentences are contradicting a bit ^-^" /gen /lh

[idle elm]

I think both

I’m medium if that’s what you’re looking for

Kaisa ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Hey peopel. I'm doing a blogpost series for autism awarenes month and I would like to do a post abou…

[stark quartz]

Sorry for being unclear. I 'm looking for medium or high support needs people

[stark quartz]

Yes, I'm looking for medium supportneeds people. If you would like to help me by answer some questions about the challenges you face due to your autism would you like to do that in private messages or on the server. If you don't want to answer questions that is totally okay too

[idle elm]

Sure

[steel pewter]

\ this is my base, either dms or here works, what's the questions?

[idle elm]

Boop

Kaisa ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) Yes, I'm looking for medium supportneeds people. If you would like to help me by answer some questio…

[round field]

How did everyones april fools go yesterday? Personally i am GLAD its another year until the next one because i fell for all the jokes, like its not hard enough already not getting normal jokes and then theres a whole day just for people lying to your face?? I heavily disliked yesterday haha

[idle elm]

It’s the worst

I wish people didn’t do April fools

Ikea (pls @) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) How did everyones april fools go yesterday? Personally i am GLAD its another year until the next one…

[round field]

Yeah me too

[long ruin]

I ended up having to completely turn off all news and stay off social media. Still doing the same today just in case.

[storm pelican]

Yerp!

[signal stump]

Yep I’m autistic

[rose plaza]

I was really lucky (and sick so not at work) and didn't see any April fools jokes, but I also didn't really interact with the living realm (last part is /j)

[round field]

Oooh i hope you get better soon but also i can imagine how that could be nice

[steel pewter]

Q: Any other autistic people have times when you can’t eat any of your usual meals and you can’t really sleep and your emotions are all completely amplified? If so, how to fix?

[neat ivy]

That sounds like a form of autistic burnout. Im not great at getting myself out of it, so I don't have any specific advice, but there are quite a few online, book, and workbook resources out there

[hearty basalt]

for me that happens during times of extreme dysregulation, if I'm particularly stressed or something like that. if you're able to lower your stress that can help (if you can drop a stressful class or extracurricular, for example)

[steel pewter]

I only have 2 classes this semester so I don’t think there’s anything I can drop. It might be war stress tbh in which case there’s not really any solution though I’ll see if I can find ways to destress a bit, thanks

[frank wigeon]

After finally understanding the fact I have autism and start unmasking, my work have basically said that I need start masking again (ive only been there a few months). Its so tiring to mask but it doesnt seem I have a choice. And the person who ive been talking to has been making it out like my autism is suuuuper affecting my work and has even gone to my manager, occupational health, human resources, and I think even one or two more people. That was all WITHOUT my consent by the way. I feel let down. I then go "ok, here are a few things that can help" and she has completely ignored 2 of the points and the 3rd point she gave a response that was sort of understandable but sort of not. I dont know what to do.

Sorry for the rant 😬

[hearty basalt]

that's a completely valid rant, I can't believe someone would do that to you in a work setting. you shouldn't have to hide your autism to do your job

[frank wigeon]

I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. Also, was working with someone (we're nurses), got handedover than the patient we were looking after had autism and she muttered "oh great". And I was standing there like what am I meant to do? I cant challenge her on that, shes more senior than me. So I spent most of the shift in an awkward situation

[hearty basalt]

ughh that's just direct ableism. you'd expect better from a nurse

[hearty basalt]

maybe you could write a report of things like this that she's done and bring it to your manager or someone else in a higher position than you. she shouldn't be treating anyone this way

[frank wigeon]

Well the manager and matron both had a meeting woth the nurse (without me knowing) so they are aware of everything so its not like I can go talk to them if they know already. I have no idea who to talk to. Anyone I could talk to already have been told

[hearty basalt]

how does she think your autism is impacting your job? Maybe the people who have been told should hear your side of it

[frank wigeon]

I dont know what she thinks or what she believes. Although, I think she indicated that she wanted to keep me longer supernumerary (after my second assessment) "to better understand [my] autism"

[last oak]

Yup. AuDHD here.

[steel pewter]

I saw a take recently that was against level 1 autism as a term and I wanna hear y’all’s opinions

The perspective specially was that the distinctions between levels 1, 2, 3 are masking distinctions not a concrete one and I wanna see if anyone has add ons to that idea

[tight sable]

Yes here too 😺

[last oak]

[round field]

Personally i prefer support needs over the levels because it actually indicates what help a person might need and opens up the conversation about what you actually need in terms of support. This is just my personal take and everyone is allowed to disagree/add to it :)

[wintry depot]

Aye!

[young fossil]

Can you have high support needs / level 3 autism without having other diagnoses?

[hearty basalt]

does anyone else perform compulsions without the obsessive part? for example I have to press the crosswalk button 5 times, but if I don't there's no negative consequences in my mind other than being mildly uncomfortable

[novel moss]

Yes I get that but I’m undiagnosed auDHD

[hearty basalt]

same here

[novel moss]

Also one thing I always think abt is I have quite a few undiagnosed disorders that I have figured out along the way. And whenever I tell people “oh yeah I suspect this” some accept the self diagnosis, and some go completely off the rails saying “you can’t do that you don’t know for sure” and saying I can’t say that and stuff.
But most of them don’t understand that I can’t actually get a diagnosis because it costs 2000$+ 😭

[hearty basalt]

yeah, diagnosis is not easily accessible contrary to popular belief

[steel pewter]

Yea, I have anxiety and paranoia and for me it’s tied to those

[brazen stone]

I think I've cracked the code, so I struggle alot to eat fruit, and vegetables- (I do eat dry fruit in musli which I have for lunch every day) i dont really eat any fruit and the only ones I do are apples and grapes, I just went to the store, and bought a bunch of stuff(I live at home and am under 18 but I will sometimes by my own stuff if ive requested something and it hasn't happened) and bought 3 apples, and a bunch if my safe foods(crackers I recently found, some rice cakes ive been having for years and some basic crackers, as well as some toothpaste and a toothbrush lol) and i actually want to eat the crackers, so.im hypothesising that maybe it helps when I choose my food and have control over what I have to eat, its gonna be interesting when I move out and buy my own food, especially too see if I eat more fruit, only then will I be able to tell if its actually the case

Anyway im excited

[hearty basalt]

I just realized I might have PDA; whenever my mom asks me to do something, even if it's something I want to do, because she told me to do it, I want to do it less. I feel like I can't do things with people around me, telling me how to do it or to do it faster

I associated it with my executive functioning issues. It's definitely related, but I feel like it's more. the demand makes me feel bleh

does anyone have tips on how to cope with this? because I often forget things and genuinely need reminding, but when I get the reminder it feels like an icky demand and I don't want to do it

[brazen stone]

I really get this, my best idea is notes? Like on paper or a white board in the places you normally are- ie i gave mine in the kitchen and loungeroom
It doesnt solve the issue at all and I only recently discovered it effects me in more ways than just refusing to watch a show because people are asking me to watch it,
Anyway good luck, other than the notes I dont have much advice other than like, I struggle with eating fruits, and I discovered if I buy the fruit than its easier, same with teeth brushing, if I buy the toothbrush its easier

[wind vector]

I'm lobbed. I like change, but I don't like last minute change or not being told because it stresses me out SO so bad. How do you guys manage this ☹️

[bronze ether]

is it an autism thing to feel like unbearably awkward in my body when doing almost anything that i’m not super used to/really confident and good at or is that just me/something else

[steel pewter]

I feel that, it’s so weird

[hearty basalt]

definitely could be an autism thing, could also be a dyspraxia thing if that applies to you

[bronze ether]

hmm i don’t really know what that is or how i’d know if it applied to me

[hearty basalt]

I'm Autistic Now What has a few videos about it on her YouTube channel. It's similar to how dyslexia is a disconnection to reading/writing; dyspraxia is a disconnection from movement/coordination :)

[bronze ether]

oh i think one of my friends might have that, i doubt i do though like i was a very clumsy child but not so much anymore and i don’t have issues with fine motor control or anything

i’ll look at that channel though!

[hearty basalt]

okie dokie

[floral folio]

Hi

[bronze ether]

how do you work? i feel fine during my new job (working at a bookstore) but when i get home i get so irritable and just want to cry and not talk to anyone for hours and i don’t know how to make this sustainable because i need to work

[neat ivy]

I wish I had a good answer for that, but I have never had a job and haven't made it further than 2 months of college. But from the standpoint of someone who frequently overwhelmed, it might be helpful to try creating a space and time for you to decompress for a bit when you come back from work. I find that when I'm consistent with my sensory self-care, I am less likely to become burntout

[bronze ether]

i lay in my bed in the dark for a while until i felt better enough to remember what helps me recover from overstimulation/having to mask and yeah might just have to just build that time in after every shift but also once i’m not training anymore i’ll get to work alone which should help. thank you!!

[frosty grove]

@bronze ether, do you have a long/busy commute? It used to be that if I had had an overwhelming day at uni I would go straight home afterwards, not realising that all of the stimulation from the journey would make things worse. Like Virgil suggested, I now make time for a little while just to rest between the end of the work day and that start of my journey home, which helps. I'm not sure if it's applicable for you but I thought it would be worth mentioning :)

[bronze ether]

my parents have been driving me to work and then i’ve been walking the 2 miles home (peaceful but also painful/tiring), but i’m gonna start riding my bike so it’ll be about 10-15 minutes. having some rest time before i’m even home sounds good though - i might start eating my free shift meal after work somewhere quiet, thank you for the advice!

[young fossil]

I’m flying for the first time alone this summer and I’m scared of how it will go. Do you have any tips on how I can accommodate for myself? I’ve been thinking of sunflower lanyards but I’m not sure that’s widely known among the staff / outside of the community. I don’t want to have a pin saying I’m autistic, I don’t know.

[idle elm]

first question is what do you need?

Matthew (pls @) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1176007949034995753 message) I’m flying for the first time alone this summer and I’m scared of how it will go. Do you have any ti…

in a loud and crowded and unsure environment what do you need to be comfortable?

in airports specifically we keep everything close at hand, we frequently check our things, check times.
we used an e-gate to get through security on the way there to avoid people and then went to our gate and stayed there until boarding, for all 30 minutes until boarding

gates are quiet all the way up until boarding starts so it’s quite nice to simply sit there

[young fossil]

I think that the security might be what’s most challenging with all the noise and waiting.

[frosty grove]

You’re welcome, that definitely sounds worth a try :)

[neat ivy]

Depending on where you are flying from, many airports have programs (such as TSA Cares in the United States) where you can apply to have assistance during security or a completely separate screening

[steel pewter]

That’s what e-gates are for

A lot of airports have them these days but it has a few requirement so if you don’t meet those ( biometrics and the such ) then I rec going with Virgil’s idea

Also, to skip bag check you can limit the amount of bags you bring

Or some countries do pre-check

[young fossil]

Oh I will have to check that out. Thanks!

[young fossil]

Yeah I’ve been thinking of doing that.

[frosty grove]

If you use earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones, I expect you might be able to keep them in/on up until you need to put your things in the tray to walk through the scanner? Also about noise, definitely take some ear protection for on the plane.

[steel pewter]

Is it an autistic thing to pick up skills very quickly but plateau in them very early on?

I can do a lot of things but it feels like I can never improve at them

[hearty basalt]

oh that's a good question, I've never heard it before but I experience that too

[rose plaza]

I feel that. In the past, before my diagnosis especially, I've often felt like I wasn't really good at anything, but instead average in lots of things