DID/OSDD-1 System Chat

[digital abyss]

[coral flint]

D:

Good luck with thatt,,,

[rose oxide]

why must this be so confusing and complex

[coral flint]

Complex dissociative disorder 💔💔💔 /lh

[tight flax]

Litterally😭

[wind shell]

I literally can’t recall it’s complex long enough to know

I know it’s somewhere in the back of the mind but that shit is so complicated that kinda stuff doesn’t go in the active memory

[rose oxide]

I'm just trying to figure some things out, but I can only really theorize atm 😭

[wet willow]

I hate being super fictive heavy bc it makes me scared to consume new fiction

Our system is genuinely probably 9/10 fictives, which makes us so scared of fakeclaimers, including us fake claiming ourselves

But it's because we are autistic and have always coped with media

[pulsar wren]

Ooh, interesting, we’re also introject heavy but we don’t form them in that kind of flitting manner

[wet willow]

Yeah, weve known about the system for ~2 years now, but majority of our introjects are from media we consumed when we were around 9-10 but growing up during lock down means that its all very 'cringe' stuff that we don't view anymore. It's frustrating, because I believe we realized first about 4 years ago, but we decided that wasn't right and got rid of any things that could have indicated stuff, but I do remember we'd wrote down an alter list. I do also wonder if theres possibly more parts around, but that they connect to a concept we are already familiar with so they don't have to visualize themselves if that makes any sense? Thats worded a little weird, but we often sense that there are more around, and it's typically after consuming new media/things to do with old media that we have new people front properly for the first time, even if they may have fronted before but we just weren't aware?

Sorry that wording may not make any sense, we aren't the best at words sometimes and we've been very blurry recently

I just believe that it's possibly 'parts' (I guess that's the correct term) latching onto an identity to feel more whole instead of progressively picturing their own. Although, the longer an introject has been around, the further they become from the original source we've also noticed, some of them in the end even choosing to use different names but possibly cling onto the original appearance

Sorry, that's a long brick of words

[wind shell]

no worries about ‘cringe’

we weren’t being combative or anything, just sharing, sorry if it seemed a little eh, also no worries about the brick of words

Gemini/Skotty/Tango ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Sorry, that's a long brick of words

[wet willow]

No worries, sorry, I wasn't trying to come across as try to prove anything /gen, was just trying to explain in words how I feel as I in general haven't tried before. Honestly, I don't remember anything to do with lockdown other than spending like 15hrs a day watching stuff like dsmp and empires and stuff, so despite the fact we don't support 2/3rds of the dsmp at this point, we have probably ~10-15 alters with sources linked to that

[weak basin]

GG @wet willow, you just advanced to level 6!

[wind shell]

Just counted, 16 dsmp related alters 💔 , due to our irl age, that was the kinda solidifying age for fully formed personality, so that's likely why)

[wet willow]

Didn't mean to do that I forgot that was a bracket sorry ah

[wind shell]

we’ve got 12

[wet willow]

:]

Omg how do people do plural kit it's taken me 15mins to add one member omg

Sorry I haven't touched it in like 2 years and it's just so unnecessarily complicated I find

[wind shell]

Took 15mins just to add me, and I'm not even sure if it's Molly in front anymore now

[pulsar wren]

15 minutes??? By what method? It’s 4 commands mate

Pk;m new, pk;m dn, pk;m avatar, and pk;m proxy

[faint solstice]

❌ Member with name "new," not found. Note that a member ID is 5 or 6 characters long.

[pulsar wren]

Shush, I wasn’t talking about you

[wet willow]

I'm a smidge slow, so that's how just doing the 4 commands as I kept messing up and having to edit things

Im used to using tupperbot for similar things (I rp sometimes, but also I've added a few alters to there before) so I think its less that it takes that long and more that I'm just used to it being quicker, so I kept messing things up

With Tupper you can set name, brackets and pfp in one command, whereas it takes 3 with this

[pulsar wren]

Maybe use the dashboard

That might be easier for you

[wet willow]

Ty! Ill have a look into it

[steady wolf]

it makes it really easy and is one of the reasons we use pluralkit

[digital abyss]

pk;dash

[faint solstice]

The PluralKit dashboard is at https://dash.pluralkit.me

[vocal swan]

we keep on forgetting to set up our system and our members lol 😭

and its also to do with we dont like how long it takes just to set up on member even tho we've been using plural kit for a while now, we are still quite slow and shit and are still kinda struggling with it 😭

[rose oxide]

we just gave up on using sp and/or pk

until we have better commuincation and an idea of what we're doing

[vocal swan]

yeah fair i think im gonna do that 🙂

[rose oxide]

we're just so complex that we can only put so much info into things, and we dont know all the alters/parts that are active or not, so yeah we just gave up

[vocal swan]

yeah our system is a bit like that, we have so much infomation about us and there isnt enough room to put all of it and our system is also quite complex and there are some alters arent really that active

[rose oxide]

we're just so complex i know barely anything,

so i have nothing to put

most of the info is just like things we're questioning about ourself

[vocal swan]

yeah thats understandable

[wind shell]

We got so much we have not even learned about our system and have a sub system to learn about to. Its a lot

[rose oxide]

i know next to nothing, and im basically front locked, and nobody shares info with me </3

[hybrid skiff]

I only use PK for adding new members atp, everything else detailed is on SP

[rose oxide]

i just literally dont know what to add most of the time

[mellow mortar]

We pretty much only use pk for proxying and most other things are on our sp

[hybrid skiff]

ngl i should just fix our intro for our system and that'd be fine

[coral flint]

Anyone have a sys intro template? Kinda want to change our pk one

[paper crater]

Ok I can’t send mine here due to it containing too many emojis (one per line)

That’s what mine was back when I was still using stuff (the emojis can be changed out for whatever ofc)

Happy to dm it if you want it

[coral flint]

Yes please!

[midnight drift]

I'm really cagey about our system profile template idk why lol

Maybe cuz it took me awhile to custom make and theme

[digital abyss]

we redid all of our sp groups

and buckets

finally

[wind shell]

Bet you did a good job

[wind shell]

Aye! New host!

I’m cooler than anyone else in this collective /j

I’m absolutely not actually, anyways

[ebon shell]

Is there such thing as systems going dormant?
For about a year and a half, I identified as a system. We had minimal full memory loss but a lot of "fog". I even recorded switching once, and watching back it's very obvious where I switch.
However, I haven't switched for 6+ months, and the few scattered times I switched before then didn't feel complete, as in they only lasted a few minutes and it felt less like an alter and more like my emotions and thoughts slightly changing, if that makes sense.
I've always read that you can't be a system and then one day not be one. It's really weird because I don't talk with anyone in the headspace anymore- heck, I barely think about them, and I can barely remember what our headspace was like.
I also have always wondered if my trauma was severe enough. This is not to invalidate what I've been through, but simply analysing how young most systems were when experiencing their trauma.
I don't know. Has anyone ever experienced/heard of thinking you (or someone else) is a system, someone who's showing all the "right" symptoms, but ending up not being one? I was pretty mentally ill when I thought we/I was a system, so maybe my brain tricked itself?

[wind shell]

You can’t suddenly not become a system, yea, it is a covert disorder though a majority of the time and it’s not odd to have waxing and waning periods

[ebon shell]

What is a covert disorder? /genq

[wind shell]

It means it’s one you’re not really supposed to notice, basically a part of it is that it hides from the person who has it to hide the trauma that comes with it

Li (she/they) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) What is a covert disorder? /genq

[ebon shell]

Interesting, thanks for taking the time to reply to me :)

[wind shell]

if you’re doubting that you had it at all I would do some introspection and stuff on the matter and what occurred and your symptoms and why this is important to you and all that jazz

cause we’re random people on the internet and we can’t really tell you anything

if you still suspect you have something going then I’d just tell you to go to a psych and talk it over with them

[hybrid skiff]

We went dormant for awhile after system discovery and then went covert again and it was chalked up to some psychotic episode

So dw im sure you are still a system, its a covert disorder. Your brain is trying to make you believe its not there

[tight flax]

I have also recently been experiencing similar issues(?)

[wind shell]

congratulate me for being the most functional part in this system

I finished our project, I fixed our simply plural, I did our laundry, I blunted our nails. I’m just so productive

[ebon shell]

good job!! /gen

[tight flax]

Im starting to regain contact with other members of the system, I am very happy, its nice to not feel alone so much, evan if those who came forward today were very annoying, I have some idea of who they were but I dont really know, they weren't really fronting or co fronting at all, just there
But either way im very happy to have this connection back

[paper crater]

That’s good!

I’m at the point currently where I know these guys exist and when they are or have been around, but they refuse to let me have any actual info and stuff

I knew them before so can still tell who they are I just then dissociate even worse

[pulsar wren]

I’m where I know a good portion of my parts but I can’t tell who’s front consistently enough to log fronts all the time or anything

[paper crater]

Yeah

I used to be able to. But I think because I only half-escaped the abusive situation(s), my brain has gone back to hiding stuff from me

[wind shell]

Finding it therapeutic for the bad memories we are having right now to draw some new profile picture for simply plural and plural kit. Almost done with one

[wind shell]

It's so frustrating when two alters of very different gender identities are both fronting and end up making each other dysphoric 🙃

[cursive blaze]

Hi! I have a question for the systems in this chat. My friend believes they are a system specifically a willogenic (?) System can yall give me some insight on what that is and if it's like idk a really system thing?

[rose oxide]

that means they believe they "created" alters at will, or believe that they can (iirc). but DID/OSDD is specifically developed from trauma, dissociation, and a disorganized attachment to primary caregivers before around 10 years old.

that cant really happen. unless youre already a system, and you somehow cause a split to happen in one way or another, you cant magically create alters whenever

did research is a good website for info about DID/OSDD

[pulsar wren]

What Ryft says, that’s not actually a thing and your friend is misinformed

[rose oxide]

if they genuinely believe theyre a system/have alters, but have a reason to believe they dont have did/osdd (like that they cant remember the trauma), its good to look into did/osdd more and try to understand it
and if it is specifically that they "cant remember" their trauma, or something of the sort, you can remind them that thats what the disorder is meant to do. that is a main symptom, that you have lapses in your memory, sometimes especially the trauma (depending on the alter)

and if its that they think their trauma "isnt (bad) enough", everyone experiences and perceives trauma differently, especially as children. and theres way more traumatic/stressful experiences than whats generally considered/understood as traumatic, and a lot of people dont seem to understand that. and also your brain can distort the memories, that is also a common experience

[cursive blaze]

They said that plurality can exists outside out of trauma. They have a whole notebook of like different alters talking and like an overview of the system. Which i dont see how it is possible for everyone to know everyone and everyone be aware enough to just start journaling because if that was the case wouldnt there be final fusion?? A handful of them have different instgram accounts. I would talk to them but they kinda talk at you and not with you.
Lemme know if I need to re-word or censor anything.

Also sorry for the bad writing im on the bus and it bumpy

[rose oxide]

the dissociation needed to create alters cant happen without some sort of trauma or stress, so if theyre experiencing dissociation between alters, then theyre likely an actual system just in denial for whatever reason and looking for an explanation that isnt their possible trauma. but in psychology alters cannot develop without trauma before the age of around 10, because after around 10 is when the personality/ego states fuse together (according to the theory of structural dissociation, anyone correct me if im wrong). but its is NOT a DID/OSDD system without trauma/dissociation

also final fusion is when a system integrates through therapy to be "one" again.

another way to explain what they could be experiencing is compartmentalization but not to the severity of DID/OSDD or another dissociative disorder.

but i do know sometimes systems can seem not as disordered from an outside perspective or the perspective of the host/main alter because we have experienced that. our pasts hosts and sysmates have kind of forced us to be functional (even though we werent/arent) because we were/are still in an unsafe environment or felt unsafe, it still seemed that way from the perspective of our very uninformed ex-hosts and caused a lot of imposter syndrome and confusion for us.

[cursive blaze]

I asked my sister if they talked. She said that it sounded more like ocs because they described it as ppl walking beside them and like each of them having a story. Sister said that certain things reminds them of charcters but they are not separate beings. For me I have trauma and something that helps cope is maladaptive daydreamimg whixh is thinking of a world thst does not involve the trauma and within is charcters but that does not mean they are apart of a system they are just charcters in a story of my own creation.

[rose oxide]

yeah

[pulsar wren]

They’re incorrect. Categorically, alters form because of the dissociative barriers that form in the brain from repeated childhood trauma and without them it’s just not possible without it

[rose oxide]

^^

[cursive blaze]

I understand. Thsnk you for giving insight

[rose oxide]

theres no reason for your brain to fragment/compartmentalize without some form of trauma or stress. and after around 10, it cant develop alters (afaik) but can still compartmentalize, which can feel like youre experiencing different personalities. and sometimes you can kind of "create" what you want those compartmentalized emotions/feelings to be like. its like how you act/feel different around different people or in different situations

subpersonalities like that are a very normal and common experience, and some people just experience it more "severely" (couldnt think of a better word for it)

i cant remember at the moment, but compartmentalization might be possible without trauma/stress, but its just more common with it? (cmiiw)

[pulsar wren]

Yep. It is. Some people also compartmentalise emotions/behaviours intentionally for several reasons. Example: it’s used in IFS as a way to help the person process trauma or negative emotions

[rose oxide]

yeah

[cursive blaze]

Thanks yall. Thats what i thought but i didnt want to like thinking that for certain out of fear of being ableist. Imma continue to just kinda ignore it (we are not close friends) but im glad i wasnt completely outlandish with thinking it was odd and unlikely

[rose oxide]

well its not ableist if theyre not experiencing the disorder

[pulsar wren]

That ^

[rose oxide]

cause did/osdd cant be "endogenic"

it cant be forced to happen unless youre being forced into traumatic situations that can cause it to develop. but especially not after the cutoff

[hybrid skiff]

Mhm mhm

[heady hornet]

One of the biggest symptoms of trauma is, well, not remembering it, so I try to take a very distanced "hope you figure it all out" but not trust anyone with that label for much. We as a society need to be more open to what is and isn't trauma, and that that threshold can be lower for people. I think less people would identify with "endogenic" if that was the case. I'm thankful I never thought I was endogenic but I know a lot of people who at first thought they were and then later discovered their trauma

[heady hornet]

As a diagnosed DID system alters knowing each other isn't at all a metric for if a system is valid or not. Hidden alters are, well, hidden. But it's not uncommon for a flood to appear upon discovery.

The endogenic is the aspect to focus on here because yeah that label isn't... eugh. Lol talked about it above more

I had Wii letters between alters below the age of 10 because there was some communication even early on, so the idea of journaling early on in discovery is not far fetched by any means

[quick hatch]

Adding to this conversation, I'm also diagnosed with DID and work with a specialist and I think it is super important to remember that there has been very little research done on dissociative systems. Everyone's experience is going to be slightly different and with the lack of research, there's really no evidence that can be used to say that someone's way of experiencing the disorder is not valid, even if it is different from how you've experienced it or the majority of people seem to experience it

And to Nova's point about the threshold for trauma, another factor that may be important to consider is someone's natural tendency to dissociate in addition to that. If someone naturally disssociates more easily, their experienced trauma may seem less comparatively because they went into the necessary state for formation easier than other people. This is actually a theory that is being explored currently, the trauma threshold in conjuction with high dissociative tendencies

[heady hornet]

Yeah, people distant from their experiences will seem like they suffer less too. Experiences can be valid even if the way one describes them may seem off. Surface level interaction isn't enough to know

It is one of the few times I enjoy the phrase (phrase typically used to fakeclaim) ||"it's all in your head"|| because if flipped to validate an experience, it highlights how if not visible, someone cannot know your struggle

[heavy steppe]

We learned from reading a journal we have that our host grandfather noticed some of the first alters would come forth during truama and stress starting at the age of 5 but the family did not see it and focused on our host adhd instead so he would when he was alone with our host say sweetie I know you have other personalities I have talked to them before when they came out around me. But I notice you don't know about them and that is ok. I want you to know you and your personalities are safe even if the family does not see them understand them or even belive they exist I know they do. Then the journal says stuff about how the personalities felt safe to front around him since he became a safe person to show around. That is what he told our host about before he passed away. Don't got much other information other then a DID diagnoses before ten idk what age it was diagnosed.

[heavy steppe]

We learned from reading a journal we have that our host grandfather noticed some of the first alters would come forth during truama and stress starting at the age of 5 but the family did not see it and focused on our host adhd instead so he would when he was alone with our host say sweetie I know you have other personalities I have talked to them before when they came out around me. But I notice you don't know about them and that is ok. I want you to know you and your personalities are safe even if the family does not see them understand them or even belive they exist I know they do. Then the journal says stuff about how the personalities felt safe to front around him since he became a safe person to show around. That is what he told our host about before he passed away. Don't got much other information other then a DID diagnoses before ten idk what age it was diagnosed though.

[rose oxide]

i think a lot of people just dont understand the extent trauma is/can be. especially with neurodivergence and children, and how it leads to dissociation and how dissociation can affect how you process it and all that.

with all the endogenic stuff, thats all i think with it

theyre not fully understanding or educated about trauma and what it is

[heady hornet]

Yeah, and sometimes the people and systems (as in organizations like schools and health places) who cause the trauma make it harder on purpose

[heady hornet]

Ping, mb

[rose oxide]

most people think trauma and assume it means stuff like types of abuse and stuff, and dont take into account that other things can be stressful/traumatic enough to cause dissociation. and that people, most notably children and nd children experience it WAY differently, and everyone has a different threshold for trauma and stress

[heavy steppe]

Owe gosh yes. I feel like there is a lot of truama people can prevent if they just try to understand instead of ignore or dismiss the kid and how they feel

Exactly. We have talked about stuff we experienced before and people have gone well its not that bad it could be worse. Like it was traumatic to us just because it does not seem that way to is is because you didn't experience it

[rose oxide]

a lot of people dont understand that "simple" things like just being neurodivergent can be very stressful or even traumatic to a child, and most of the time is. especially to undiagnosed children who arent getting any support

[heavy steppe]

Yes yes yes that is how we feel with our autism that was not diagnosed till we were 19 but we knew we had something that required more help and understanding yet only when our husband told our mom the things he noticed from being autistic and working with autistic people before did he get our mom to understand and help us get diagnosed

[rose oxide]

we have a special interest in specifically DID/OSDD, dissociation, and trauma, and how things can affect it

[heavy steppe]

No way us to so we love learning more about it. Like how our old therapist said it was first on TV in the 70's because some guy in i think Cleveland Ohio did things he did not relize he did and had no idea who he was and was sent to a hospital where eventually he got the first real DID diagnoses and it was spead all over the news

[rose oxide]

i just think that a lot of people assume theyre endo cause they either get sucked into the community and are basically manipulted into thinking it, or they are actually experiencing the symptoms of the disorders and assume they arent because theyre experiencing the symptoms of the disorders (aka dissociative amnesia & being a covert disorder).

and they dont fully understand the extent of trauma & dissociation

[heavy steppe]

Yes and imagine the way so many undiagnosed people with DID OSDD excetra feel. I mean literly just to get a re diagnose for paperwork we lost 1000 something to 3000 plus and in some places we heard its 1000 something to 5000 plus and this is for people whos insurance does not cover it like the kind we have now since we could not stay on our parents insurance just with our own plan since no one takes it where we live now

[rose oxide]

i also see that a lot of people forget that having a disorganized attachment/relationship with your guardians is also like specifically mentioned for the development of DID/OSDD

we want to see a psychologist and get a diagnosis, but we cant cause of our family. even our current therapist has tried convincing our mom but she wont listen

im also a bit worried cause our system is like really confusing/complex and there was like a shutdown/lockdown thing that kinda happened a while ago, and so i feel like we dont present enough symptoms either. especially cause we mask very heavily even if we're trying not to

[heavy steppe]

That hs sad. Hope you can get a diagnosis one day. We are hoping with the new therapy places we are trying to get into that they understand we just want to talk about pur system alters symptoms and work to maintain our system family relationship for years to come and work on our truama regardless of paperwork if they understand our situation

[rose oxide]

yeah

we are planning to move from america to nz, and hopefully theres a good psyhcologist there. but we might also ask our therapist if theres a way a psychologist could come to one of our sessions or something since i cant drive and have nobody to take me to another appointment place without raising suspicions

[heavy steppe]

I heard from a friend we have there they are pretty good

Owe I see 1 on 1 would be good as someone who can't drive we get that is needed

[rose oxide]

should i ask my therapist about that option? our next appointment is wednesday

[heavy steppe]

I would do so. We did with our old one and he was very supportive. Our new one ehhh kinda more to the point nice but less gental and only on paper will I focuse on it guy but were giving him a chance

[rose oxide]

and we're planning to be in nz by early next year, so we can do school there

[heavy steppe]

Ooo that sounds great. Its a great country lovely beautiful and even very safe. I have a friend who has a system who lives there and it helps with the truama stress since americas invioment stressed them out a lot

[rose oxide]

im also like really scared to talk about anything system related to people besides 2 close friends who i trust with it, cause we're trying to figure out some complicated things, and i feel bad for saying other peoples ideas wont/havent worked because of whatever is happening with my system. its really weird and it causes a lot of imposter syndrome

[rose oxide]

yeah ^^

we're moving w/ a trusted friend too

so hopefully thatll help our stress and hopefully help me with whatever is happening with the system, cause its so confusing

making new friends will help too

[heavy steppe]

I feel the whole imposter syndrome. We only told close close online friends and our husband about our system. We only since 2024 have had good communication with everyone

Also finding new friends who understand is a good thing

[rose oxide]

its just like

we have what i consider a weird situation

ive never really met anyone with a similar experience

basically i think i have a subsystem, and we're always fronting, but when its not me im like idle, if that makes sense. and then i know thers other people, but they wont tell me anything, and some of the alters are concerning. and the overseers/gatekeepers dont like when i talk about anything or try to figure out anything. and i get passive influence from introjects, the overseers, and the subsys. and theres time where i can feel like someones there but i cant get influence from them, can hear or visualize them either. its just the slightest feeling someone else is there, like theyre behind a wall or something observing or something. and then i know i have amnesia because theres things i notice that i dont remember. i know theres more alters than just the more recent introjects, my subsys, and the overseers, i just dont know anything about them.

and our innerworld is kind of weird, its like layered, but i cant visualize every space, but i know theres specific spaces even tho i cant visualize it. and i cant really go into it, but i can visualize some of the spaces. but i cant really see if theres anyone in those spaces.

theres disconnected spaces and other subsystems i think

[heavy steppe]

Sounds like you have communication barriers and or alters don't feel ready to revile stuff yet because it may not be safe, time or both and in our opinion some don't have innerworlds that look like anything some have innerworlds with lots of detail and some struggle to see their innerworld

[rose oxide]

oh i can visualize our innerworld in a lot of detail, i can see everything. except specific spaces. like i know theres an archives space but i cant see inside it cause its locked

[heavy steppe]

Like waiting to be discovered

[rose oxide]

i know that there will be barriers we will have to work through, and im not asking for their memories or trauma, i just want to know more about the alters, i want anyone who fronts to actually use our simply plural, at least by adding a profile on there

i want to figure out why our innerworld is so weird and complex

i want to know what the overseers are so scared of me finding, cause if i just knew a bit more maybe id stop trying to look without a psychologist

and the archives arent locked in a "waiting to be discovered" way, only specific alters are allowed in there (like protectors)

[heavy steppe]

That makes sense. We want to figure out why pur first system protector is now a internal self helper and want to know more about what she knows about how our system formed, why and how the alters all deal with getting the diagnoses then losing the paperwork for it

Ah so some of your alters have keys and some do not i get it

[rose oxide]

i already know we're polyfragmented, cause thats something the old host figured out before we deleted our sp since it was never used

some of the fragments can be weird

some of the alters im not sure were meant to front did and that was concerning

[heavy steppe]

Like they are not good alters or something

[rose oxide]

no like

they said really concerning things that me and a friend are trying to decipher what it could mean

and had a whole mental breakdown

[heavy steppe]

Dang. I hope you get to the bottom of that one day

[rose oxide]

we have a theory but its not really something we can decide on because its like really complicated stuff, and i dont want to assume anything without a professional opinion

[heavy steppe]

True its always good to get a professional opinion if you can

[rose oxide]

i just dont really know what to do about a lot of this stuff, its so confusing

[heavy steppe]

Yeah i understand that is why we are looking for a specialist that works woth truama to have along side our other therapists so we can maybe get answers

[rose oxide]

yeah

[heady hornet]

I think that the fact that trauma isn't a criteria is taken too literally. It's because a person may not have awareness of their trauma and yet be obviously disordered and dissociating in such a manner, and that they don't need to be excluded.
Some "endogenic" folks claim that their provider fully believed in endogenic origin like um I think that's not exactly what they were doing when they just "didn't say anything weird about it", like, sometimes a therapist is gonna focus on, oh, I dunno, the symptoms? 😂

[rose oxide]

yeah

trauma isnt a specific criteria, but the dissociation needed for did/osdd can only happen as a direct response to trauma/stress that triggers your brain to dissociate that badly and start compartmentalizing into alters

and since did/osdd is meant to be covert, and hide the trauma, its not something thats focused on until youre getting into the healing process, which is when you need to confront the trauma

anyways

we just have like really weird complex stuff happening in our system, and its confusing and concerning. but, im too scared to assume it could be something thats abnormal/something i need to be concerned about

[heavy steppe]

For us we are working on staying a system family and helping everyone not going away and working together more. Its our own path

[rose oxide]

we want to work towards functional multiplicity

[heavy steppe]

There might be a name for what we were working on and hopefully work on more of with new therapist

Idk though

[rose oxide]

right now we may seem functional on the outside, because of what has happened internally. but we probably arent that functional and itll get worse when we're finally in a safer space where we dont need to mask so much

[rose oxide]

functional multiplicity, it sounds like

[heavy steppe]

We seem functional on outside but inside we fight demons and stress a lot so it is kinda a mess a lot

[rose oxide]

its where you work towards working together as a system, and being functional as a system. instead of final fusion where youre "one person" again

[heavy steppe]

Ah I see. I struggle to remember names for things

[rose oxide]

anyone have advice for things like this

[heady hornet]

Honestly that would depend on what it is /lh /nfta

I personally am working towards final fusion as functional multiplicity was reached a couple years back for me personally and I just end up feeling like slightly more extreme different shades of the self after all the work I have done tho

[rose oxide]

yeah idrk how to explain some of the concerning things

and im worried to explain them to other people except the few i trust

cause the overseers dont like it

[heady hornet]

Valid. I just ended up reading systems experiences until I found something similar to mine

[rose oxide]

they are scary, but theyve also never done anything afaik, so i still sometimes talk about it or try looking into things

im just anxious talking about it in bigger community spaces because im worried about people taking stuff out of context, or assuming things, and fakeclaiming. cause im questioning some pretty big/complex things

[heady hornet]

Yeah, I've seen people say some wild stuff in response to things I was easily able to rationalize why it could happen

I think the fact I have been aware of systems longer than most and not limited myself to an online bubble is most of why

[rose oxide]

so i just usually talk to 1-2 specific people about it. even though i am wanting a professional opinion and not gonna assume anything for myself, but am still questioning it

but i also didnt really start noticing these more concerning things until i accidentally came across it and researched it more. so im worried im somehow faking it

[heady hornet]

People often dismiss things that happen frequently to themselves as "normal", so when someone else points it out as "abnormal" or just different, it's easier to notice in day to day life

[rose oxide]

yeah

im just worried im somehow faking it either way, cause a lot of the concern came from alters who im not sure were meant to front. and they said/did concerning things, but i was like "idle"/heavily dissociated while in front, and couldnt really do anything, and dont really remember it very well. i just have the messages from when we were talking to friends during it.

[heady hornet]

Since you were naturally distant from the experience it'd make sense you'd fear that whether it is the case or not. Sometimes thinking very logically and matter of factly kinda like that helps me with those fears

[rose oxide]

im just worried i somehow made it happen, or just think this is happening from delusions or something, because i feel like i need to be "worse"

[heady hornet]

Well I can't answer that for you as I'm no professional and don't really know you but the fact you are even concerned is a good sign for your mental health no matter the cause

[rose oxide]

yeah

[coral flint]

Simply plural is shutting down

Can’t link the post

Servers will be up until June at least

[wind shell]

I just heard about that. Wow. We use it daily its so helpful for us. Its got us writing down all our info in our journal and stuff. Were stressed about this because tracking is very very hard for us without something that reminds us

I’m switching to Octocon since that’s the only other option

it’s annoying but it gives me a chance to edit my layouts

ampersand doesn’t count, my phone’s apple ( my tablet isn’t but I’m not gonna turn my aac into my main system logging device )

[coral flint]

Octocon imports all your history at least

It’s pretty good

[wind shell]

History from where

Raven sys (||BIRDS) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Octocon imports all your history at least

[coral flint]

Sp

[wind shell]

Ooo how does it

no, ew, that would remove the middle man excitement of resorting

I take deep pleasure in manually moving all my data from one app to the other

[coral flint]

Lmaoo ok

[wind shell]

We just are glad stuff would keep it

it’s like moving house

Owe i get it

Gosh we just have so much

we have 102 currently logged parts and all their data to move over

plus this is an opportune time to add the data of the dozen or so parts I’ve been neglecting to add

I love that. We need to do this to

[tight flax]

Ive just sent my data iver to octotcon, and its great, the only thing im curious about is that it didnt send any of the profile pictures? Has anyone else had this issues(its a fairly easy one to fix for me but im curious)

[paper crater]

I’ve not tried transferring data as I already had Octo but I can check within the Octo server for you if you want

Opened a channel to check and this is the first thing I saw

[tight flax]

Ahhhh yea most of mine are via a link

Thanks

[paper crater]

no problem, they should be stabilising/being fixed soon but manually uploading is always an option if it's easier

[coral flint]

I miss my image markdown 💔

At least it’ll be added eventually

[paper crater]

1.4 is when it's going to be added hopefully

[floral niche]

does anyone hav eissues determining a number of alts
like youre not sure if its just 1 there or if theres like multiple and its just theyre too similar or something

does that make sense

[digital abyss]

will we be adding octo here cus of this (pls)

[coral flint]

why ?

pk still works though

[pulsar wren]

Convenience probably

[weak basin]

GG @pulsar wren, you just advanced to level 34!

[coral flint]

Yeah

[wind shell]

Would be nice to have it as well if we ever did. Convenience of other options even though pk is very useful as well

[digital abyss]

. and privacy

better privacy options with octo

[paper crater]

Yeah

I asked about Octo around a year or so ago here and got told no but situations change so might be no harm asking again 🤷

[wind shell]

Question is anyone confused on Octocon when you go to fields while looking at alter profiles. I get confused with all alter profiles under it instead of each individual alter profile under the alter it goes to

[paper crater]

What do you mean?

[wind shell]

when I click on the fields button above alters when I click individual alter accounts it shows all my alters info in that option not just ths alter that I clicked whos name is on the top of the scream. Like say I click my profile I should see only my info under the fields button at that time but I see all profiles information

[pulsar wren]

What fields button above the alters?

The only field button is in the alter’s individual profile

Can you show what you’re talking about? ( If you don’t mind, you don’t have to )

[wind shell]

Example this is Sandy's profile info but not my info. Its the same for every alter we have to scroll the whole list of alters till we find who is being talked about above with the alter name displayed at the top of the stream

stream profile i mean

[pulsar wren]

Ohhh, yea, that’s a bug

[faint solstice]

❌ Unknown command edit;. For a list of possible commands, see https://pluralkit.me/commands.

[wind shell]

Ah I see

[pulsar wren]

You have to report that in the support server

[wind shell]

Owe ok thanks

I think you didn’t use the fields as intended maybe ?
It seems like you’ve made a different field for each alters information, and put the info in the title
They’re designed so that you would, for example, name the field “species”
And then fill it in on the profile

Tino Vainamoinen Finland 🍪 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Example this is Sandy's profile info but not my info. Its the same for every alter we have to scroll… 📎

[pulsar wren]

Oh, yea, it looks like they have

[wind shell]

I did exactly what simply plural had me do then had all my information transfered from that app to Octocon

ArsonCrows [💿💫] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Oh, yea, it looks like they have

[pulsar wren]

It must’ve glitched when it transferred then(?)

[wind shell]

That is what I think

[paper crater]

Yeah Octo has been having issues with the sp integration

[floral niche]

It did the same thing for me. I just deleted the account and remade the account, deleted the token and remade it too, and redid it that way. It fixed the issue.

[wind shell]

I worry that will be lots of work like before but at least we wrote it all down in pur system journal so if the fields thing bothers us enough we can copy it from our book

[lavish viper]

octocon just shut down. bruh

[quick hatch]

I'm doing all my logging on Google Docs now because this is getting ridiculous

[wind shell]

Wait what 😭

[quick hatch]

It's getting taken down in a few weeks I think

[wind shell]

But why

[quick hatch]

They probably couldn't handle the server weight of so many users switching over from SP

[wind shell]

God tracking is hard enough already why take away the good stuff

[quick hatch]

Someone suggested an app called HiveMind, but it's android only as far as I'm aware

[wind shell]

I just think soon all alter apps will go away

[digital abyss]

going back to our roots (pk)

[pulsar wren]

Giving up on sys tracking until alternatives show up and just gonna use Obsidian to store sys info

[heady hornet]

Never heard of that used for it and I am now wondering why because that seems fun

[pulsar wren]

Yea, I just use character writing themes and plug-ins

[jagged ferry]

theres a group of people currently developing a tracking app

[wind shell]

Ooo

[pulsar wren]

What’s it called?

[rose oxide]

threres a website called lighthouse, which is a system journaling website, idk if it has specific stuff for front tracking, but im pretty sure you can make alter profiles and such

[paper crater]

Lighthouse is pretty decent yeah

I’m co-developing an app (called Asterism) with my friend. It’s in the planning phase, but won’t start coding until late June due to both of us doing A-Levels.

[rose oxide]

goodluck!

i just know some apps like this you might need to pay for like the servers for it to run out-of pocket

[paper crater]

Yea

We’re gonna take optional donations purely for server running. But we’ve looked at it and between the two of us devs we can afford it (fingers crossed)

By the way, just an additional note we are making it poly fragmented system friendly if we can and hopefully will, because not me but the other developer is a poly fragmented system

[rose oxide]

that would actually be awesome

do you plan to have a resources/help page in it too?

[paper crater]

probably, at minimum would be a carrd link to a carrd with resources in

[rose oxide]

ah okay

but stuff for polyfrag systems would be awesome, it would probably be so helpful for us 😭

[paper crater]

Cool, there is a discord and tumblr for it, the community side of the discord is shut down for new members simply because we don’t wanna get overwhelmed with stuff 😭

If you want the info I’m happy to dm it

[rose oxide]

its fine for now, we gotta work on stuff before we worry about getting an app for anything

[pulsar wren]

I just spent a god awful amount of time trying to spell our surname

Amnesia go brrr

[wind shell]

I feel that i try to spell my human last name when amnesia is bad. Forget about it. Ugh pk stop temperarly breaking for me lol

ArsonCrows [💿💫] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Amnesia go brrr

[paper crater]

I rarely forget my last name, but my first name typically fails me. So I’ve just started writing “J. [last name]” on everything I need my name on (so long as it is not necessarily needing my full name)

[wind shell]

I need to rember mine as much as I can because people always ask if its complicated

[paper crater]

Yeah. I mean unless I’m required to use my legal name, I just say “Jaiden” because that’s what I prefer anyway and am planning on changing my legal name to

[pulsar wren]

I didn’t mean our legal surname, I meant our adoptive one, we have to write that down so much less often so we just forget how to spell it all the time

Why are names so complicated actually?

rhetorical q btw but names are so complicated

Whenever something needs our name we prefer to use our preferred name with our adoptive surname and not our second legal one and especially not the first legal one ( the first legal one fucking sucks, I swear ) cause if they require one of the legal ones we just mentally give up

[wintry wren]

is it possible to have more than one host? /gen

[quick hatch]

Yes, we have a group of hosts

[wind shell]

Yes it is. Have we had more then one no. Can you though yes

[rose oxide]

we have a host subsystem

[coral flint]

Same

[midnight drift]

Yes, it's also possible to not have a host at all. Though somewhat uncommon.

[willow stirrup]

is this here also a space for systems that dont know much and have no official diagnosis yet? I dont even know how to tell my therapist

[wind shell]

u can just chill here

its for all systems, including questioning

[willow stirrup]

thanks 💜

[wind shell]

I mean, we don’t have one

[willow stirrup]

probably overly cautious here, just wanted to ask first

[wind shell]

Fair

[willow stirrup]

idk we were questioning for a long time and stopped some longer time and now it feels clear, suddenly it all makes sense and feels like not thinking its overwise anymore would help

[rose oxide]

we have been questioning for probably 5 years now, but can't get a diagnosis until we move out. unless we get a debit card and can drive ourself to an appointment

[willow stirrup]

have quite a bit of medical trauma and misdiagnosis from psychiatrists and dont know if we want to go that path again, its okay to not have a diagnosis for now, therapists is another thing, but while we tried to talk about trauma (went bad and we decided more stabilisation is needed) we didnt go deeper into what happens cause I also didnt really know, but shes trustworthy. But still fear its getting downplayed. and she is no trauma therapist but specialized on autism/adhd, so dont know if this is helping us or if we should wait and find out more ourselves first

[wind shell]

I just remembered that us being drawn to the word ‘passerine’ and our wider sys name and crow theming is partially influenced by mcyt fic and I’m so embarrassed

[willow stirrup]

talked with a counselor this morning and he said its plausible thats some kind of DID/OSDD, its different from ptsd symptoms. said I should talk with my therapist the same way and that it was good. but I feel like idk. Its official then and Im not sure if Im ready. Im beginning to think again Im not so sure aargh

[shut talon]

hehe i love passerine

[weak basin]

GG @shut talon, you just advanced to level 6!

[wind shell]

𝄈 happens to the best of us

Karl/Altair [ he/neon/loop ] 💿💫 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I just remembered that us being drawn to the word ‘passerine’ and our wider sys name and crow themin…

[rose oxide]

has any system here who experiences seizures had the stress/dissociation from switching trigger a seizure, or the stress from a seizure trigger a switch? cause i think that happened to us last night but im not sure, and ive never heard of that happening 😭
-# let me know if i need to censor the word seizure or anything

[quick hatch]

It's happened to us before

[wind shell]

𝄈 YES oh my god all the time

ryft \ hyper | please ping ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) has any system here who experiences seizures had the stress/dissociation from switching cause a seiz…

[rose oxide]

i think we're gonna worry about a diagnosis and all the medical stuff for until after we move, so we dont have to deal with the process of a diagnosis during or right before we move

[floral niche]

having non ep Seizures sometimes because dissociation yes. not often. yes though

[wind shell]

YES

matrix/hyper ★ please ping ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) has any system here who experiences seizures had the stress/dissociation from switching trigger a se…

[wind shell]

[floral niche]

genuinely how do you manually switch out

i see everyone talk about it. how

[rose oxide]

you can't really control switching

unless you trigger it

and sometimes that doesn't even work

[wind shell]

I honestly am not even sure controlling switches is a good thing

[pulsar wren]

Some people who are super far into recovery can but it’s not common at all

[floral niche]

i don't understand

i do not have the functional capability to be at everything at once so i just wanted to know if i could do it or not sorry

[wind shell]

absolutely can be, coming from a system with mostly persecutors.

Tino Vainamoinen Finland 🍪 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I honestly am not even sure controlling switches is a good thing

nah not really. u can trigger someone else out if you know their triggers (music is a big one for us) but still takes time for that.

Winslow Dex Nevia (Ping me) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) i do not have the functional capability to be at everything at once so i just wanted to know if i c…

[floral niche]

everyone ive seen talks about it. that or having full control. it throws me for a loop

i dont know what counts as triggers for any of my parts anymore. ive been here for a while and its going to drive me insane

[wind shell]

ugh god i wish

Winslow Dex Nevia (Ping me) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) everyone ive seen talks about it. that or having full control. it throws me for a loop

never can

definetly not me

[floral niche]

then again most of the time ive noticed its osdd systems

i have too many functional issues. i should not be in this position. yet I CANNOT DO ANYTHING

[midnight drift]

I mean there's a lot of ways to "control" switches. Is positive and negative triggers not valid in what you mean?

Sensory tools, music, interests, clothes, comfort items, alters with specific roles or abilities ect

We actually have a few who can manually control other alters without external triggers - this is more common in systems with a strong hierarchy though

[wind shell]

oh damn

yeah uhm, thats not very common mate 😭

[midnight drift]

It's most common in polyfrag systems specifically

[floral niche]

yeah no i just have the uncontrollable chaos and i dont know the differences

[midnight drift]

Also it's pretty common for gatekeepers to have some control over it, albeit loose

[floral niche]

i feel like gatekeepers are also rare

or maybe its just me

no idea

[midnight drift]

We have a specific alter who's job is literally to control who's awake, fronting, and where in the inner world they are. Though we recognise that's uncommon and probably due to a specific trauma thing that happened to us

[floral niche]

the best i can get is the "ink bleeding" influence and no switch

[rose oxide]

me and my subsys are kinda forced to stay in front and not many others are able to front

[midnight drift]

Though we do have many alters who can naturally communicate somewhat with certain alters so we kinda.. chain it together I guess?

If an alter who's good at using grounding tools is out they'll ground while "talking inwards" to sort out the issue

Like alter 1 can talk to alter 2 and 4 but not 3. Alter 2 can talk to 3 but nobody else. Alter 5 can talk to 1 but 1 can't talk back. So on and so forth
You can then build a level of communication through this

Alter 5 contacts 1, who contacts 2, who then contacts 3
And eventually somehow whatever needs to be done happens

^ while this isn't how it works for everyone this is often how systems with some inner communication start to build a healthy level of functioning when they start therapy/integration

Apologies if that's a backwards ass explanation I'm tired as hell

[midnight drift]

The way we work through that situation is often to speak into the real world when it's safe to do so. If you're both near front enough to hear the real world you can kinda communicate by talking out loud instead of "thinking backwards" which can be hard and exhausting

[floral niche]

no no i understand what youre saying. i never really understood the communication thing as is though because it has never really existed for me. all inner monologue is limited to "who's active" and that is still only partial to specific scenarios. thats a me problem though i guess

i have no idea

[midnight drift]

That's a very valid way to experience your system and we do experience that frequently too

Just means your dissocation is higher in some aspects

Unfortunately I don't have much advice other than always keep grounding tools on hand. We tend to find random switching with no memory bleeds can be distressing cand cause things to escalate quickly

[wind shell]

Polyfrag system here! I fear that it's not really, especially with the heavier amnesia

Alex - @Ping me! [✨] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) It's most common in polyfrag systems specifically

[midnight drift]

It's potentially not a thing for you but that doesn't mean it's not a thing?

[floral niche]

really theres only a few parts that can even do that still, now that i think about it. maybe 1 or 2 still can make a clear path of communication and its always very brief

[midnight drift]

This is honestly the first I've heard of someone having no idea that some alters can do that

[rose oxide]

i think theyre just trying to say its not especially common specifically in polyfrag systems. but it is a thing that some systems can experience

[wind shell]

^

it really isnt

[midnight drift]

Ok

[rose oxide]

like we sort of experience that, i still have communication issues between other members of our subsystem, but our subsystem is always fronting. and im almost always dissociating to some degree, so i still struggle with communication between them. and we have a sort of hierarchy thing going on too, that im no longer investigating cause theyre scary

[floral niche]

i assume that i was originally right to begin with in that theres nothing i can do but live it out. i figured it was worth a shot anyways to ask

[midnight drift]

I mean the sort answer is seek professional help from someone who specialises in complex dissocation and DID/ect but I'm assuming that's not what you were looking for?

[floral niche]

absolutely, yeah. the problem is that i get the same advice everywhere i go, and if not that, then its explained in a way i cant comprehend
im perfectly capable of reading. im literate. i do not know where that problem originates from at root. it would probably do me some good to pay some more mind to that instead of skipping to end goal. just not sure how to approach that.

[rose oxide]

sometimes people just need something to be explained different to understand

[midnight drift]

Honestly my usual advice is to never attempt system communication for the first time without professional supervision but that's.. not exactly what people want to hear.

If you're going to anyway, please just be careful. Listen to your body and your system. Listen to warnings, headaches, physical distress or discomfort, feeling detached from reality, confused, a deep sense that you "shouldn't" do something.

It can and will make things slower but building trust with your system will lay the foundations for more work to be done later down the road. If your system trusts that you're not in danger you're far more likely to hear them speak up, even if the amnesia/lack of communication internally stays

[rose oxide]

yeah, that ^^

[midnight drift]

Also, I'd honestly avoid almost all online system spaces where possible. I have two informative Instagram pages I can recommend and beyond that I'd personally stay far far away. The amount of misinformation genuinely put me into a spiral that was only cured by pretty much turning off my phone for a few months

I have some explanations I hand wrote for some baseline information that I can copy over here if you need anything. I really love to make information accessible to people

[floral niche]

yeah. i usually try not to pry, not just because i dont want to make a stupid decision but i also have no need to right now. its not that i have an absence of professional intervention, because i do. just again, all advice seems to be the same or particularly similar to a point to where it is essentially verbatim

[midnight drift]

And unfortunately common experience

[floral niche]

i tend to stay away from syscord as is, i dont like most of the communities. its also been printed in bold not to, because many spaces even in experience are either toxic or potentially dangerous with the provided information

i aim not to take much advice especially on serious matters, but for something simpler i dont mind asking

[midnight drift]

That's fair. I found the subtext of most of the online community jargon to be what got under my skin

-# sorry if I'm using too many words. I ironically use more words when I'm tired because I forget simple words can be used/srs

[floral niche]

most of all advice is also run by my spouse because i as a whole system and all are not always good at reading between the lines and noticing flaws or potential dangers. she is very helpful and all, i just do not want to depend on her all the time so i do try to find other ways to approach things when i can

[floral niche]

many times have i been plainly cancelled for stating that i dont usually take syscord communities seriously. its not my place to make a claim over someone's own but obviously i have right to be cautious especially regarding more complex matters

[wind shell]

We tried to fix some of the online community but it only broke us in the process. We found it's not worth it if it kills us.

[floral niche]

see this is what's killing me. i cannot switch out, can't make an effort to do anything related, but i still get wat i just call an ink bleed effect because its like writing on paper. im doing something, its all good and dandy, and then its somewhat of an "ink bleeding through the page" effect. passive influence but i cannot tell if its solely me or actually passive influence

i recognize the differences. i usually speak more simply. it doesn't really correlate with myself as an individual part but i see that i can change mannerisms sometimes, not just through speech and such

its also more of a fleeting thing. comes and goes

[wind shell]

Have you spoken to a professional about the possibility of P-DID? Id look into it if you're unfamiliar with the term. It may help you to understand yourself better

Winslow Dex Nevia (Ping me) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) its also more of a fleeting thing. comes and goes

[floral niche]

yes, but i don't have pdid. ive already been through diagnosis, none of this is typical for me from what im told, its just me as an individual part that usually has the issue. i asked my spouse before if she had any particular idea if this was typical or not and if the barriers are just that solid, she did confirm it for me. her theory was that im "just an anp to fill in when other parts are not needed or are not carrying out their specific purposes at the time." i cant really agree or disagree because even as is now my memory tends to be very limited no matter how long i am actively front. she also thinks that the "passive influence" thing is more specific to but not limited to myself

[wind shell]

Ah I'm sorry I misunderstood the situation. A lot of people come asking for a lot as a newly discovered system.

Is there any previous journalling or therapy work you can look back on for skills or previous communication that worked for you?

Winslow Dex Nevia (Ping me) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) yes, but i don't have pdid. ive already been through diagnosis, none of this is typical for me from …

[floral niche]

i could assume there probably is at least some journaling, but from what i can recall thus far and from what ive seen more recently there is nothing specifically of that nature. because of the issue with comprehending what i read most of the time i cant always make sense of notes provided from professionals, caretakers or other parts too. i do use them for reference pretty often but even with someone trying to make clarity of them for me. either way its like it doesnt register, and ive also been told its probably to do with something somewhere along the lines that "triggers" it or something

again i can't even say if that's true or not, because i've always just kind of been here that i can recall and i don't personally view it to resemble that. then again i don't know really how to put it anyway

[latent wigeon]

What do you do when you're learning a language and then split an alter or have an alter attach to the new language. Not like it's the only thing they know but like they cling to it
Does this even happen 🙂

[latent wigeon]

Hi Nevia

[rose oxide]

it can! we have friends with alters that only speak other languages, and we have had alters that don't speak english either (but they understand it)

[pulsar wren]

Yes, we have alters who neither speak nor understand English, solution is cope

( aka there isn’t really one )

[pulsar wren]

( or Arabic )

[midnight drift]

No idea someone stole my ability to speak and understand German some 5 odd years ago and that part has resurfaced once and then disappeared into the void again

I want it back >:(

I'm genuinely bitter about it lmao

[latent wigeon]

It's French 💔

I took French a really long time ago I didn't know that after all that time though I would still end up in that situation

I only have PDID so I feel like it's weird to even be on this at all, idk 😭

[rose oxide]

why would it be weird for you to be here?

[wind shell]

Having PDID doesn't mean its weird for you to be here. Your welcome

[willow stirrup]

so I told my therapist today and she said its plausible with my history and everything that its DID and she already suspected a dissociative disorder so... Im feeling not good after talking 1h about this and other related and traumatic things that happend. had a work thing afterwards and Im feeling so dissociative and shit I couldnt even talk properly and couldnt remember what exactly my job is 😿

just lost all professionalism for today

idk what will happen next. she said she does not know enough and I probably need a real trauma therapy but as Im as sick as I am I dont have access anyway and cant wait years to maybe find a unicorn who wants to do online therapy, I hope we can continue on a low level therapy for stabilizing and just dont talk about major trauma and idk. Its a weird place to be in right now

(sry if this is not the right space to talk this idk)

[latent wigeon]

What do you guys think of the idea that "if one part is bad, it still means you are a bad person because they're still you"?

[weak basin]

GG @latent wigeon, you just advanced to level 1!

[rose oxide]

there are no "bad" parts, just parts that act or do "bad" things due to the trauma they went through and hold. i think they all deserve respect, kindness, and healing

[pulsar wren]

It’s bullshit. I mention that because quite literally I was used as an attack dog a child obviously I have aggressive and combative parts, that doesn’t reflect on my moral character

Also, a fair few POC systems have racist parts due to internalised racism due to being racially persecuted when they were young, telling them they’re a bad person isn’t going to help them unlearn any of that

I think that kind of talk can also trigger moral ocd which a fair few systems have so it’s not only is it bullshit; it’s also harmful

[heady hornet]

Depends on what they mean, are they talking about subjective quantifiers of "bad", as in parts that are often disliked, or are they talking about actual harm done onto another by an alter, and the system not taking accountability?

Because that context will shift the entirety of a response, and it's fair to assume that those who responded first used the first example rather than the second

And yes I decided to message here despite the fact I am fairly certain I am newly finally fused, I'm waiting for the results of an evaluation, but even with final fusion I still have that entire life experience living as multiple 🩷
System accountability is crucial to healing chat

[rose oxide]

yes

[wind shell]

if thats true then almost all of us are bad people. we are a system of 90% persecutors. one parts’ emptions and actions don’t dictact character, however it still needs accountability.

Ipomée ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) What do you guys think of the idea that "if one part is bad, it still means you are a bad person bec…

its like saying someone’s bad decision or anger makes them a bad person overall.

idk if that makes sense, im sick asf

[floral niche]

Iffy. Based on a prior experience;
Someone comes to me and says "You really hurt me". I only get vague details revolving around the incident at hand. They didn't give me any further details on what happened, I had no recollection of the incident. It's likely that it's because I wasn't front. They were upset because the apology was then insufficient.

It turned into something something (I forgot most of it) up until they were talking about how it doesn't matter anyways because every part is just one of the same person so in conclusion, I'd still be a bad person because the part was still a part of ME.

This is why I find it tricky. I can't make sense of whether or not it was realistically sensible to agree or not. I don't know, but for that I can only believe it depends on the situation at hand.

If I had memory of it, it'd probably be easier to determine whether or not they were right to say that. I don't have enough knowledge of myself or the condition even to say.

[pulsar wren]

I used the second as clearly illustrated by the examples ( ex. aggressive parts, physically combative parts, racist parts )

Considering the only 2 people who answered before are me and Matrix it’s actually not fair at all that we assumed mildly annoying parts

( I can’t speak for Matrix but def not what I meant )

[heady hornet]

Those are often internal, and don't indicate harm going to be made. It's also common knowledge that trauma responses still need to be healed even if they don't specifically make you "evil". System accountability still applies.

[pulsar wren]

Personally, I agree with a majority of that, I don’t agree that most aggressive parts are internal ( primarily cause all ours are external and like throwing things and yelling when they angry ) but I do agree there’s accountability to be had and that there’s healing to be made

( I also agree that trauma things don’t really make any part ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ )

[rose oxide]

yeah, we have persecutors / prosecutors who have been not-so-great to us/our body and others around us

[pulsar wren]

We have a fair few horridly fucked up parts, only pro is that none of them learned English well enough to be on the internet or interact with 99% of people we know irl

( The lack of human interaction might be contributing to their echo chamber induced mindsets but tbh, it’s not something we can encourage outside therapy )

[heady hornet]

Was typing right before going into the store so pardon the lack of clarification lol

In cases where it is directly due to the trauma endured, and not a pattern attributed to actual beliefs, it most often is internal/inner world/stays in thoughts. If it turns outwards, someone trying to recover will take accountability and explain if necessary, not to dismiss harm done

[pulsar wren]

Yea, I understood you, I just have a different opinion on the matter

We don’t have to agree tbh /gen /nbr
We likely have completely different trauma histories influencing our opinions so it’s not likely that we will

[heady hornet]

It could also easily be a semantics issue on what is considered just a reasonable aggressive reaction and an outburst, as I used to have similar patterns but it was always in direct response to something.

[pulsar wren]

I promise you, they are probably not

I don't think i've ever met a single person that could relate to my experiences on any level other than surface
( i'm not unique in my trauma specifics, they're not uncommon forms of trauma, but the wider circumstances are extremely uncommon as they were locationally, culturally, etc specific which alters how I experienced it heavy )

We're not talking the behavior itself that much, we're talking whether it's primarily internal or external, which we do not agree on which isn't actually a big deal and I tbh don't care at this point

Also, please stop pinging me, it's hurting my eyes /nm

[heady hornet]

Sorry I'm in servers that handle the ping role like 5 different ways and it's hard to keep up with if it's color or symbol or not existent at all

[pulsar wren]

It's fine, it happens a lot

[heady hornet]

I wish everyone would just stick it in their nickname but that's very off topic atp

[pulsar wren]

Most people do

I've never bothered

Anyways, I'm gonna go to bed, you've been interesting to talk to (/pos), goodnight

[latent wigeon]

So just for clarity, you mean that it can't always be determined from an internal view but can easily be determined from an external view? Something like that

Maybe the point of view is found as a double standard. If someone does something horrible and is not a system, they are a bad person, but in a system, they are not because it is rooted from trauma

This is just my theory on what people think from the outside view

[heady hornet]

Goodnight! /g

[latent wigeon]

From an internal perspective, I think I understand what you're saying. You can't really know, but someone else may have a strong opinion on it.

[floral niche]

It's dependent on the scenario, the people involved, and the severity of it I think

One alter could be verbally aggressive and that be all. The other can be the partial embodiment of the worst person you've ever met. That's what catches me, because I don't know which is which and when or how it happened, so I couldn't tell for myself. A lot of people I think would be able to understand what I mean

Atleast I hope

[pulsar wren]

How to avoid syscourse if you’re in a community that’s 90% syscourse

[ Not even just endos and the such. I have to mentally keep track of “okay, who’s pro-endo and who’s pro-polymind and there was there was that one person…” and its exhausting ]

[coral flint]

If it’s discord I use profile notes

[pulsar wren]

It’s tumblr :(

[coral flint]

Damn

[digital abyss]

if it's tumblr then thats the problem 😭

tumblr is AWFUL for syscourse

theres no escaping it

[pulsar wren]

Darn

I’m not even on system tumblr is the worst part

[wind shell]

Tumblr for atr great. For systems not at all in my ex

[digital abyss]

tumblr is lowk like twitter

great art, chronically online cestpool

on a different note, ive finally found a system app that works

well, its a website, but will become an app

PluralSpace

[wind shell]

Hope it stays

[digital abyss]

Its pro endo but its very very good

[wind shell]

i don't even know what people get out of being pro endo

[digital abyss]

seriously one of the best

[wind shell]

yeah, I'm definitely trying this. That looks awesome.God knows tracking's already hard enough

[pulsar wren]

Ooh, I’ve been using that a while

[rose oxide]

at the mention of polymind,, it really just sounds like theyre another version of endos. or theyre thinking about regular compartmentalization or how everyone usually has "subpersonalities" (like how you feel/act different with different people or in different spaces) and making it a whole new term

never really understood that one

but on the topic of system (web)apps we probably dont use any until we're in therapy for it or if theres a really good one that has a lot of options specifically for polyfrag systems, cause we like organization and lots of customization. and other disability accessibility would be nice too

[pulsar wren]

Our pluralspace

[pulsar wren]

I’ve talked about them on here before. My opinion on them is generally what I call ‘the distant steps phenomenon’. There’s probably a scientific name for the whole thing but that’s what I’m calling it; essentially when some people ( like me when I was younger ) lie down on our side we hear our own heartbeat as if it’s coming from somewhere around us and because no one ever talks about that we typically interpret it as distant footsteps hence the name.
In terms of polyminds it’s similar; because no one really talks about how in most people their mindset and the way they act changes place to place because this is an instinctual thing for most humans polyminds interpret this very normal experience as something else

[rose oxide]

yeah

im just trying to decide whether or not i want to attempt to use pluralspace,, it doesnt seem too bad, and we can always switch over if we find a better/more preferred (web)app

[pulsar wren]

This is made worse by the label btw, think of therapy speak when people started interpreting regular things as ‘gaslighting’. I think polymindence actually functions like a ouroboros where the term feeds into the incorrectly interpreted experience which then is interpreted as validating the term

It’s a loop and it completely eats itself when you realise the incorrect interpretation

[pulsar wren]

Makes sense

We were in therapy for a bit ( not DID focused but us having a CDD was mentioned because it was OT and CDDs effect your daily life ), we need to start therapy again tho

[rose oxide]

yeah, we met a system on roblox when we used to play. it was on one of those hang out games. and then like a month later we saw them online again and they were saying they werent a system and just "polymind", and we explained why that term is technically incorrect and they were pretty chill about it thankfully

[pulsar wren]

Yea, also, I feel like endogenics/polyminds/etc all come from a fundamental misunderstanding of the human identity

[rose oxide]

yeah

[pulsar wren]

( Specifically the mechanisms that form CDDs )

[rose oxide]

and i also think they dont fully understand some of the basic aspects of CDDs (dissociation, trauma, etc.)

[pulsar wren]

I think that’s their entire shtick actually

[rose oxide]

especially how that translates between children, adolescents, and adults and affects everyone differently. especially if the person is neurodivergent

[rose oxide]

yeah, i think thats entirely whats happening

like how i said in the other chat

[pulsar wren]

Yep

[midnight drift]

I simply chose to withdraw from it entirely and go into any interaction I do choose to have with absolutely zero expectations of them being reasonable. If they are it's a pleasant surprise

[coral flint]

Does it do sp imports?

Or pk

[rose oxide]

it does sp imports

[coral flint]

:0

[rose oxide]

i think

lemme double check

[coral flint]

Ohh it’s so tempting but I just set everything up

[rose oxide]

yes sp

i forgot how i used to do our organization

so i gotta come up with how ill do it 😭

[wind shell]

Ok I just imported stuff from simply plural and wow was that helpful

[wintry wren]

to confirm we are anti endo here right?

[wintry wren]

if you don't mind, what is poly mind?

[wind shell]

yes.

Bad Wolf ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) to confirm we are anti endo here right?

polyminds are those who believe that some have more naturally defined sub personalities than others and that some may see them as separate individuals. Many claim these sub personalities can have names, pronouns, sexualities, genders, ages, appearances, be introjects and animals and supernatural creatures, can hold trauma or emotions from other sub personalities and have other such roles, can switch between each other, etc

essentially, they took the mechanisms of systemhood and called it something else

[wintry wren]

huh

is it the same thing with a different name or an endo sort of thing?

[wind shell]

both

[digital abyss]

They are basically saying "im not a system or an endo" while taking the fundamental roots of being a system, and are in fact an endo.

sub personalities are a thing in non-systems, but going to the extent of labelling them and pushing them to the extent of practically being alters, they are in fact endos

non-systems try not to roleplay a disability challenge and label it as not ableist (failed again)

[wet willow]

Does anyone using plural space have a good template we could copy and paste to use? Tysm :]

We don't have a huge preference on style or content or anything, but it'd be nice to have a central thing people can fill out if/when they want

[rose oxide]

for profile descriptions?

we are gonna do ours later tonight

i just wish fields could have templates, cause it's really annoying to copy/paste those over for every profile

[floral niche]

is this secure though? nothing fishy to it?

[rose oxide]

ya

they have a security & privacy policy thing you can look through on the website

[wind shell]

And they don’t use AI like some apps

[wind shell]

I noticed that and love that. I am enjoying the site especially the system map and relationship part

[digital abyss]

very. only thing that sucks with it is its pro endo, but im in the community, and you can actively work with the dev

[wet willow]

Ive really enjoyed plural space so far! Molly's is more detailed, but here's how we've used custom fields to create an easy layout that transfers over to each person to fill out as they plessd

We've found it works very well on both mobile and laptop, and within the discord support server, the mods and owner are nothing but nice and helpful

[latent wigeon]

Can you import from ampersand with it?

I've been trying to find a way to do it but I can't

[rose oxide]

no sadly

it only imports from sp

so if you can import from amper to sp and then to ps then that might work

[digital abyss]

theyre workin on an octo too

[latent wigeon]

This is frustrating because I don't want to have to manually redo everything.. 😭

[weak basin]

GG @latent wigeon, you just advanced to level 2!

[latent wigeon]

What's actually the point of saying "I'm bodily (age)" instead of just saying "I'm (age)" when parts don't have a legitimate age?

[rose oxide]

because some parts may encompass a different age, even if they technically arent actually that age

[latent wigeon]

What do you mean when you say encompass in particular though?

[rose oxide]

especially littles/younger parts. they could easily just not understand that they arent that age, they could be stuck in the trauma

[rose oxide]

they feel/act/identify with that age due to whatever trauma they hold

[latent wigeon]

I don't understand why that is preferable to actual age though. If it's an identity, can't it be argued as transage? And if it's a behavioral, isn't that just varying mental maturity? Why does it have to be "I'm 27, but bodily 15"?

I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I'm trying to understand the best I can

It's something I never understood, and can only associate with transage logic

[rose oxide]

in that specific scenario for alters, they understand the body isnt their age, and that theyre a different age (internally & not literally) because of the trauma and/or how they formed. and sometimes for younger alters they dont actually understand the body is older because theyre stuck in the traumatic memories

im not very good at explaining this type of stuff

[pulsar wren]

In what universe would that be comparable?

[rose oxide]

yeah that

also

[pulsar wren]

Alters are a manifestation of what the brain deems necessary at any given time. They take on different aspects as a reflection of a need or trauma. An alter’s age is an example of this. Example is systems may have older alters because the brain sees older people are more dependable or, as a child, the brain thought if they were a grown up they would be able to handle it. Conversely the brain may use younger alters as a reflection of traumatic memories from a younger age as Hyper said or as a way to shut away the pressures of adult life and revert to a more idealistic viewpoint that children are depicted as having

This is not the only reason age may vary between alters but we shouldn’t be comparing trauma responses to transage bullshit

[rose oxide]

yeah

[latent wigeon]

Because everyone is arguing that it is an identity, which transage is also an identity and their logic tends to surround that age can even be an identity

That's all

[quick hatch]

Age is part of identity, its not technically an identity in itself

[weak basin]

GG @quick hatch, you just advanced to level 4!

[latent wigeon]

A ten year old can even be as smart as a seventeen year old, but why call the ten year old a seventeen year old just because of parallels in their psychological maturity? It's just things I'm trying to understand because I can't get my head around it and the explanations I get so far are all identity-related

[wind shell]

because as a 27 year old alter, i don’t want to be associated with the 19 year old body.

Ipomée ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) What's actually the point of saying "I'm bodily (age)" instead of just saying "I'm (age)" when parts…

[pulsar wren]

Please actually read mine

[latent wigeon]

Again my point is that I don't understand how an alter can identify as 12 or 30 when they're 16. I'm not trying to be rude

[wind shell]

because they’re not…

[latent wigeon]

I did. I was trying to get to that. But is that not just psychological maturity differences?

[wind shell]

No?

An alter’s maturity and age are 2 separate concepts

like, i’m not 19 years old? so i’m not the same age as the body. so i don’t say that i’m the same age as the body.

we have alters who are (a lot) older than the body and its jarring as fuck for them to remember the body’s age (which I’m forgetting)

[latent wigeon]

Okay

[floral niche]

i think the point she was trying to make was that age is a physical factor and maturity is a psychological one. so it doesn't make sense to her to have an age identity for it

that was it

it is a point of view

[midnight drift]

Your physical age will still limit maturity to a degree. A 13 year old body with a 40 year old alter cannot be the same maturity as a 40 year old body. They may be more mature, but it's not the same

[wind shell]

that too, yea

[latent wigeon]

This kind of supports my point

It does and it doesn't

[wind shell]

some alters don’t ages either.

yep

some age slide, some are unknown, some just don’t have ages.

[latent wigeon]

This was it pretty much

[midnight drift]

I am physically 20 but have alters who identify around 30 y/o. While they tend to be more level headed and able to look at life as a bigger picture/more objectively, they aren't 100% going to be the same as a biological 30 year old

Alters tend to have different age presentations for a reason. It's usually because they hold a particular job or personality trait. Some alters may find it uncomfortable or disrespectful to be treated as a vastly different age to how they identify - but bodily age helps inform overall

I.e. I do not interact with people below the age of 15. This is a boundary I hold almost completely across the board, and I apply it to bodily age. The biological maturity gap is too big.
But equally I have alters who are uncomfortable interacting with minors at all, as they identify as much older than me.

Biological age helps inform overall interaction, identifying age helps inform how you speak to someone during conversation

Idk if I'm rambling things that were already said I could only skim reading chat

[wind shell]

this just in, having a dissociative trauma disorder that creates parts that are mentally a different age due to a history of having childhood trauma is transage

Ipomée ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Because everyone is arguing that it is an identity, which transage is also an identity and their log…

thats why it sounds stupid

also we prefer saying "bodily age" because i dont really want 19 year old mentally aged parts to interact with me if ur bodily 13. im 20.

I don’t wanna say it’s mean but it really is mean to call it transage

[midnight drift]

Trans age is not the same as a disorder that changes the physical structure of your brain

[wind shell]

thats why im kinda being a bitch about it help

i think

i think sirius is co

god damn it

[floral niche]

once again her point of view was just that age is physical and the identities of separate parts is not physical but psychological

[weak basin]

GG @floral niche, you just advanced to level 9!

[wind shell]

(sirius is our professional ragebaiter)

[floral niche]

theres no reason to be mean about it

[midnight drift]

So if age is purely physical what about people who have an intellectual disability that changes their mental age?

[wind shell]

i think comparing a controversial identity to a trauma disorder is dehumanizing and wrong but ok

yes, they should really understand our perspective on the matter, it’s very hurtful to be compared to something like that

[midnight drift]

Tw pedophilia
||Trans age is usually an identity a child is groomed into that makes them believe having a relationship with an adult is ok or vice versa.|| This is completely different thing to trauma disorders that literally create fractures in every aspect of someone's identity.

[wind shell]

yea, I don’t wanna be compared to a bunch of creeps

ig another thing as to why ppl say "age" vs "bodily age" is bc the mental age will be different per part, maturity, interaction, etc. that is extremly common for CDD. not every little has a young mindset, but not every 19 year old part acts 19. its important to seperate your body age to the parts because ur maturity and interaction will shift (for most systems). I prefer hearing "im bodily 13" when theres an older part talking to me than "im 20". I need to know LEGALLY for my comfort and to know what to talk about around as a twenty year old system.

this doesn't make the mental age any less valid, its a matter of legality atp.

im not gonna talk about nsfw topics with a bodily minor system, even if the part is mature enough for it.

i hope that makes sense

Because parts have different ages that they feel like

Ipomée ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) What's actually the point of saying "I'm bodily (age)" instead of just saying "I'm (age)" when parts…

Its different from transage cause its mental for alters

Transage would be more for thosw without DID feeling a different age

Ipomée ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I don't understand why that is preferable to actual age though. If it's an identity, can't it be arg…

transage also goes hand it hands with kinks and ||pedophilia||

gulps.

^

ArsonCrows [💿💫] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Alters are a manifestation of what the brain deems necessary at any given time. They take on differe…

[latent wigeon]

I don't really have an opportunity to completely explain my point of view nor do I want to be in the middle of rude responses after stating I was trying to understand while simultaneously explaining why I still do not understand

[midnight drift]

Note people who experience ageregression are not trans age even if they don't have DID*

[wind shell]

Oh yes sorry!! Age regression too!

we. are explaining ?? why its rude ?? not being rude ourselves?? im sorry you feel that way however we are giving plenty of responses and reasons and explaining why it is not appropriate at all to compare it

Duh! Haha sorry

It shouldn’t be a surprise that no one appreciates being compared to a bunch of perverts when we’re just existing

[midnight drift]

Idk it seems like you don't want to understand because you're just repeating your point assuming the reason were disagreeing is because we don't understand

[wind shell]

(We have alters that age regress, apologies it slipped my mind! I include that one too!)

Litreally

Alex - @Ping me! [✨] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Idk it seems like you don't want to understand because you're just repeating your point assuming the…

[latent wigeon]

The only thing I was really intending to compare it with was the logic as in specifically the part that says age can be an identity. That was it

[wind shell]

which is. gross.

and now you know.

Yeah

that its gross asf

[floral niche]

there were indeed people being rude

[midnight drift]

you're scientifically wrong tho?? Simply identifying one way Vs someone having a different level of functioning due to having a disorder that, AGAIN, changes the entire structure of your brain are not comparable

[wind shell]

to be fair, comparing a trauma based disorder to commonly pedophilic behavior will get that response.

Winslow Dex Nevia (Ping me) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) there were indeed people being rude

Yeah

rude or not, its gross

Like what do you expect

[floral niche]

and to be fair, she said she was again only making the relation between the two because of the claim that age can be an identity

[midnight drift]

How are we wrong for having gone through severe childhood trauma, many of us experiencing SA at the hands of older people, and you're comparing us to those types of people?

[wind shell]

which is. gross.

coughs.

😭

we explained why its gross

honestly, I’m trying my best not be aggressive but it’s hard not to be

👏

[midnight drift]

But that's not the claim and she would have understood by now if we were listened to

Ngl I'm genuinely really triggered

[weak basin]

GG @digital abyss, you just advanced to level 37!

[wind shell]

i fear i front mostly jst to crash out on incompetence, sorry gang. i wouldve been banned long ago.

Ernest/Lawrence [ he/him ] 💿💫 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) honestly, I’m trying my best not be aggressive but it’s hard not to be

[floral niche]

so essentially this is just not the place to ask for help understanding anything. good luck elsewhere

[wind shell]

so essentially this is not the place to compare pedophilia to CDD.

Insanity

[midnight drift]

Genuinely how dare you tho?
You're siding with someone calling a bunch of trauma survivors pedophiles

[wind shell]

i truely dont understand how that isnt hard to understand how its not okay

If you come here saying stupid shit you gonna get dogged on, you can leave we dont give a fuck😭

😭

[floral niche]

okay but she is not, she said she only meant it as in the concept again that age can be an identity. that was the only reason she associated the two. based off of what she knew.

[wind shell]

a bunch of us ARE gonna be aggressive and upset because thats just ! not okay! especially to trauma survivors, many who have sexual trauma. what

Its not understanding if you are completely jst.. wrong ajd out of left field

YOU didn’t listen US

YOU didn’t try to understand

YOU compared it to messed up shit

[floral niche]

she came here saying she was trying to understand

[wind shell]

Then didnt TRY to understand

which we explained, but was ignored

Kept saying we were wrong like WHAT?

Thats not trying to understand

and then compared to something completely irrelavant, something gross, which we got upset about, validly.

[latent wigeon]

I really am though which is why I asked the question to begin with. I was trying to explain as I went why it still didn't make sense to me

[weak basin]

GG @latent wigeon, you just advanced to level 3!

[midnight drift]

It's not that the question was asked, it's that our repeated answers and explanations were ignored

[latent wigeon]

Ok man good bye

[wind shell]

I was triggered to front exactly because none of the other alters in this system are capable of fronting at this point. When you make an entire system sick to their stomach because of what you say against them do not blame them for getting aggressive and short with you

Okay bye ✌️ 😘

[midnight drift]

Go suck a cactus you disgusting pig

[wind shell]

diabolical

thank you then

Ipomée ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Ok man good bye

[midnight drift]

🖕

[wind shell]

Valid response

compares CDD to pedophilic behavior and ignores why its not okay

gets aggressive responses cus a bunch of us wen through trauma related to that and its genuienly gross

"why is everyone being rude? I was just asking a question?"

make it make sense 😭

Litreally 😭

cowabummer bro

anyways cdd am i right chat

😭

me when im aggressive because i dont put up with this typa bs 😭

i wouldve been banned years ago if it was okay and yet we're somehow still here

[midnight drift]

Genuinely probably gonna take a week+ to recover because some people can't be considerate

I hate to come across like a snowflake but fucking hell man

[wind shell]

who just called me "doom shop mf" /headspace

Well this convo took a turn. How in the hell can you compare stuff like that

Nah ur fine Alex take care of yourself

standing up against pedophilia isn't bein a snowflake. take care of urself man.

Alex - @Ping me! [✨] ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) Genuinely probably gonna take a week+ to recover because some people can't be considerate

I hate to…

we all agree here.

if I have to fucking think about being in the body this young for 5 for minutes I’m going to implode but I’m gonna be stuck here for a while, I think

which is completely valid

Yea

and i ask for body age because i am bodily TWENTY. I'm GRADUATING. I cannot just befriend a 13 year old even with older parts. that is completley against my boundaries.

graduating college i mean

i will chat with mature parts but i wont be close to a system whos super young !!
thats i!

it*

I got so fed up my keyboard switched to japanese

AHAH

wait thats so fucking funny

😭

ok im gonna step back now

[plain pumice]

That happens to me so much lol

[midnight drift]

Idk man like I said I don't speak to minors unless in very specific circumstances (usually because they didn't disclose) and our older alters absolutely don't interact with minors at all because, in that respect, identity does matter!!

Why the hell would a 30 year old speak to a 15 year old

[wind shell]

THISS

YEAH.

I get that. we’re bodily 18 (?)(The body’s 18th’s either close or just passed, I don’t think most of us know which) but I’m 43 as an alter and it’s so weird

young systems here, you guys are awesome sauce, and i love yall and care about yall. but i cant befriend a system whos in middle school as someone whos going to get a bachelors degree. its turning into a matter of legality QUICKLY.

Yeah n hella weird

which is so valid

Ernest/Lawrence [ he/him ] 💿💫 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) I get that. we’re bodily 18 (?)(The body’s 18th’s either close or just passed, I don’t think most of…

this is exactly why it is important to make ur body age (range) seperate to alter age.

Doom　𝄈　he / it / bang — ?¿ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) young systems here, you guys are awesome sauce, and i love yall and care about yall. but i cant befr…

its much better communication.

Mhm mhm

/ot I got 15 minutes left </3

Reminder to take a break, do some grounding, take care of yourself. You aren't obligated to standing up against this type of stupidity and ignorance. I love y'all, imma step back for Doom.

middle schoolers feel like babies to me, likely because we’ve TAed early middle school and all of those kinda were very small

Doom　𝄈　he / it / bang — ?¿ ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) young systems here, you guys are awesome sauce, and i love yall and care about yall. but i cant befr…

[midnight drift]

Also my best mate is a system and it just?? Informs how we interact??

Were bodily one year apart so it's not weird but if he has a 25 year old fronting and I have a 13 year old fronting, it's a vastly different interaction than the two hosts being 19 and 20

[wind shell]

HELLO!! What's up?

Well you certainly joined to something

Crazy comment someone made

[midnight drift]

I'm dipping I've got grounding to do now 🙄

[wind shell]

And I apologize to those who may be nervous around our system. We have been open about being persecutor heavy, but I assure we aren't aggressive all the time, we are very straight forward and often can get emotional over extreme boundaries. If anyone here is uncomfortable with someone, please say it to our face straight foward, and we will step back. We are not best with this type of stuff and reactions, however system accountability is super important to us. Cheers :)

Well okay. That's cool of you to say. Always love seeing people be super duper self aware. Props to you. But still, anybody do anything cool today? Anybody at all?

There’s a bunch of craft supplies on the floor so the orchids went to the craft store most likely

Crafting? That's cool. Creativity and making stuff is always something super fun to do. I personally like it myself within headspace but Our Host doesn't do it often outside. He's not one for the artistic field more one for the AUtistic field/j /silly That's all love, he's a great guy.

I have no idea what kind of crafts though

there’s too many different things scattered

Well, you can always rummage through and organize. It'll make it easier for both you and the orchids, sorry if I'm saying that incorrectly.

We're doing okay. We haven't been out or done anything at all. Our Host has simply been in the house doing school work which we've been distracting from by wanting to chat so much. Barely got anything done.

fair

[weak basin]

GG @loud barn, you just advanced to level 1!

[rose oxide]

i kind of died for a minute there

that was a lot

[coral flint]

Anyone else get like a very in depth dream with world building and have to do so much grounding afterwards? It keeps happening

[rose oxide]

idk, i had a dream about what the 9th episode of tadc might be, but i already forgot

[coral flint]

I don’t think that’s what I’m talking about /nm

[rose oxide]

yeah

my dreams are so weird, i barely remember them

but i think ive probably had that before

[coral flint]

If I don’t think about them in detail after waking up they’re gone pretty much

[rose oxide]

yeah

[floral niche]

sometimes. it's more a blur later on, but it also comes back sometimes at random. like deja reve

[willow stirrup]

I often have very detailed and intense and emotional dreams and sometimes the feelings are hanging around for up to a day after waking up

[rose oxide]

thats so real, sometimes our dreams are really disorienting so we're more dissociated than normal for a while

[wind shell]

Mine are to real. Literly had one so real for some reason one of our host identity best friends was narrorating it and to this day we have no idea why

[rose oxide]

i had one about our moms tattoo that i dont remember her telling us she got

[midnight drift]

We haven't dreamed consistently for quite some time, we used to almost exclusively have nightmares so that might be why?

[willow stirrup]

Im not sure as everything is new for me but it feels like the dream is already part of it as its always common topics and emotional states and memories of these alters, but of course its all mixed up and a fantasy that never happend in reality

[pulsar wren]

Our dreams are always repetitive and are always nightmares

Repetitive as in we have the same dreams over and over again

This does mean we remember quite a few of them vividly

[rose oxide]

i dont drean consistently, but when i do i ususally can tell im dreaming, and theyre usually weird or nightmares

[heady hornet]

Hey y'all, I'm likely finally fused, the appointment to find out if the DID diagnosis is going off or not is this week, and I've not really been in here since that happened.
I was wondering if y'all would be comfortable if I don't have DID or OSDD-1 and am thus officially not a system anymore, would y'all even be comfortable with me talking here from former experience? Obviously there's a slight chance of re-splitting but I'm not talking about that.

If the diagnosis is removed I'm likely to make an AMA thread in the forum as well as honestly final fusion experiences are kinda few and far between online so when/if I do that y'all feel free to pop in there

[digital abyss]

yeah ofc

[heady hornet]

Good to know, as it's not like I magically become a singlet BAHAHA something different

I've seen the term onelet but trying to find it again I failed </3

[digital abyss]

we just say non systems

[rose oxide]

us too

[heady hornet]

I think a distinction can be important but fused systems are so much rarer so an umbrella term can be convenient lol

[digital abyss]

i just say fused systmes

and non systms

or whatver someone is comfy with

[wind shell]

Yea

[heady hornet]

I did the AMA thread! Not gonna post about it here again but figured it might be good for people here if they're curious about fusion

And now I will only be here as a wish dot com singlet, with former and general experiences as obviously I have those :P

[midnight drift]

Jumpscare

[digital abyss]

they know

[wet willow]

We had the same it was such a jumpscare

(For clarification, we go by Alex everywhere but discord)

[rose oxide]

some person is harassing me on tumblr for being anti-endo and using alterhuman tags wtf

i cant do this actually

[quick hatch]

I've been diagnosed with DID for almost exactly 3 years now, and I am really just fed up with people who claim to be endogenic or fake disorders or even the people who won't seek professional input but have the ability to. Living with a dissociative disorder is not fun or easy, it's actually a huge struggle that affects every part of my life and I just can't understand people who are so willing to disrespectful to trauma survivors who don't want to be around people faking or glamourizing disorders

(I have no idea if what i wrote will make sense to people, I am very foggy today)

[rose oxide]

yeah

i just wanted to make a post about making new alterhuman terms, because the current community is a bit iffy

and i get harassed (like 4 comments from one person) for my post

[digital abyss]

tumblr is hell

[rose oxide]

yeah i just deleted it off my phone

im not gonna deal with that bs

[wind shell]

Tumblr good for art horrible for mental health discussions

hyper ★ please ping ↩️

[Reply to:](#1151243634876891246 message) some person is harassing me on tumblr for being anti-endo and using alterhuman tags wtf

[rose oxide]

yes, my juicy beautiful art 🤤

[rose oxide]

i wasnt even doing that, i had just said i was tired of some parts of the alterhuman community ignoring terms and definitions of terms and stuff like that, and that i was thinking about making my own terms. and they just came after me cause apparently alterhuman is a pro-endo term

[wind shell]

Like since when did they find proof for that

[rose oxide]

i dont talk about syscourse on there. i just have it in my intro post that im anti endo and dont want syscourse brought to my page. but that anyone can use the aac emotes i make, as long as you credit me and respect my boundaries, cause accessibilty shouldnt be conditional

[rose oxide]

apparently it always has been pro-endo and encompassing of all plurality

they were in my comments about that post like "i wonder if op knows alterhuman is a pro endo term" and whatever

started harassing me over it cause i used alterhuman tags. but i just blocked them and removed that alterhuman tags from a few other of my posts

[wind shell]

hmmmm I rarely use lables for things so don't know many defs or lables for things to stay out of confusion

[rose oxide]

i was just trying to reach the community, since my tumblr is mostly random art stuff

[wind shell]

Ah I get it. I also find it a pain in the butt when people just want to yell i know more then you

[rose oxide]

yeah i really want to do like fursuit and mask commissions the future, but im so over the alterhuman community right now, it just pmo

[wind shell]

You should do it though. Great talent

[rose oxide]

i still will probably

i just dont understand why they started harassing me for no reason, cause my page isnt even about syscourse, just like furry stuff and art

they called me a bigot and said i deseve harassment / that they dont have to follow boundaries just because im anti endo

that community is such a hellhole actually

[wind shell]

Wow that is just so mean

[rose oxide]

yeah

i only follow one anti-endo blog, and its an alterhumanity blog

i dont even like posts from those blogs, or talk or interact with syscourse

its so crazy they go out of their way to harass people

[wind shell]

Yes like for example people harass me due to i don't use Ai for my art and stuff. I block those people. People will harass you over anything

[rose oxide]

this is why i was scared to get on tumblr in the first place

i just want to look at juicy art and post about how i feel liminal please

[wind shell]

If you find the right community you will find good people in those communities. That's what happend to me after a long time. I just kept looking till I found it

[rose oxide]

yeah

[remote merlin]

I dont know much abt systems and when it comes to little alters, I agree that they shouldn't be on discord but what about the ones that can't control who comes out at what time and what about learning disabilities that cause a part of that system to not know somethin?

[pulsar wren]

Whether or not to allow any specific alters to use the internet is the decision of the individual system and/or their caregiver (if they need one)

So this Q isn’t fully answerable

[remote merlin]

ah alright. also, does anyone know any good websites to learn abt DID systems? I wanna learn more abt them not only from systems themselves but also research done about them

[pulsar wren]

(We allow some alters who are technically littles on discord because we’re in an adult body and they are responsible enough to be online but we don’t allow others. We also don’t allow some adult alters on discord because those bitches aren’t responsible enough for that, I don’t think they wanna be on discord either tbh)

[pulsar wren]

I can’t rec any specific websites ( maybe didresearch.org for a basic start ), I’d rec just looking for papers ( see academic paper search engines like Google scholar )

[remote merlin]

thank you

[digital abyss]

There's no fully answerable question. What I meant by a little who cannot identify a shape in #📝suggestions is if it's in the context that said little is at the mental capacity of a toddler or younger, where they cannot safely interact online.

Not every little is the maturity of their age. For example, we have a political manager who is 11 years old. They look that young, but they are mentally mature enough to be comparable to an adult with childlike tendencies.

I don't know if that is of much help. If you have specific question about DID, feel free to ask us, and we can try and help narrow it out. You are also free to DM us about it since you are above 18 for questions that may be triggering here. ^_^

[pulsar wren]

Also, if they are mentally where they cannot identify shapes: how the fuck are they typing???

A vast majority of children age 2-3 know at least what a circle and a square and a triangle is

And research shows that children who haven’t learned their basic shapes yet have a harder time learning numbers and letters than children who have. So, if an alter can’t understand shapes I fail to see how they can understand the internet, discord, and even reading

[digital abyss]

^

that was what i was trying to get at

[fallen coral]

I when I was a system occassionally had younger alters who had a caretaker who was hiding purposefully and doing most of the typing, expression, etc, so I personally can easily understand

[pulsar wren]

fair, I think when people talk about it they usually mean without someone else co

( also, final fusion? /nfta )

[fallen coral]

yesyes

officially fused, not DID or OSDD-1

[pulsar wren]

v cool

[fallen coral]

thing is tho is that this alter hid themselves so I would have never known and so I thought the little was typing

[pulsar wren]

interesting

[fallen coral]

polyfragmented struggles /silly

[pulsar wren]

mood

[fallen coral]

I was Bug here but I recently moved accounts btw

[pulsar wren]

we've got 120 logged alters rn and it's jarring as fuckkk

( alters includes fragments, that number is mostly fragments tbh )

[fallen coral]

I had close to 500 (logged, not all) I'm still boggled at how I fused but it came down to that they were like. groups of similar types and so the types got fused before the nitty gritty

so it would be like "I know an alter who's an anger holder is fronting but fuck if I know anything else I feel how I feel with a lot of them" and then I'd learn it wasn't a blur but a permanent state and go whoa

[pulsar wren]

we're too nervous to try final fusion because that would require figuring out the horrors™

[fallen coral]

that is painfully relatable, I was the same way until the at the time host had ENOUGH and wanted to know and the rest of me was in absolute awe and decided recovery mattered more than staying ignorant

it was a years long back and forth

crumbs of information

that whole thing

[pulsar wren]

fair

[digital abyss]

our ultimate goal is final fusion but we have to move out of the abuse first

but maybe itll happen

:]

[rose oxide]

we dont know what we want, probably aiming to be functional and then decide from there with a psychologist

[fallen coral]

it wasn't a conscious decision for me until the end and what I saw online and heard from the kinda therapists that push it immediately I thought it had to be like 100% intentional but no I was fusing en masse the whole time

[rose oxide]

yeah

ive been considering that we might of stress fused a lot of alters when we got triggered into a "system shutdown" type thing, but im not sure

[fallen coral]

it can be hard to tell until you just sorta realize one day that's it's fusion and not a blur or just a lack of care for distinction or any other cause unfortunately

[rose oxide]

our system is really confusing

so idrk

[wet willow]

Sorry if this is weird but I just genuinely got so confused because one of my alters has the exact same profile picture, even down to I think the exact same image border 😅

I was so thrown off, like did I say that?

/lh

[hollow orchid]

back here again because my pride said ‘Yo, Im a singlet’ but I don’t think thats the case

[coral flint]

?? Wdym your pride

[digital abyss]

What

Chat I'm finally doin our prns.cc

It's a cool website if you haven't heard of it where you can make multiple profiles and add pronouns

great for DID and specific flags

[wind shell]

I really like it. Our new therapist wants to see our profiles and we haven't finished ours yet but should

[digital abyss]

for context on our "we block with the word traumagenic" its cus we really flippin hate that term cus it implies theres other types of systems and we're extremly anti endo ^^

similar with plural

thats our oddball boundaries lolol

but its super customizable

and u can add up to 500 flags !!!!

super cool :3

what i mean by the plural and traumagenic is used on us specifically thought id clarify

[heavy steppe]

B: Interesting. Were using plural space right now so should try this site next

[digital abyss]

yeah its super cool

cus u can add members and make multiple profiles

jst google pronouns.cc

itll take u to the site

i cant send links obviously

[wind shell]

Thanks

[digital abyss]

Example of with members (This is public on pinterest! I do not know this person! They posted it for inspo!)

[wind shell]

This is cool

[hollow orchid]

I actually have no clue- I just woke up from a nap
Im sorry 😭 /gen

[fallen coral]

you're good LOL that's wild

[wind shell]

Finally finished my plural space

[jovial vapor]

Hi all, what's up?

[heavy steppe]

B: Drawing to calm my brain

[jovial vapor]

Nice, I am relearning skills

Found out I can cook and taught myself sewing

It's all so overwhelming but in a fun way, being front for the first time/in a very long time

[wind shell]

So the host just had a text conversation that boils down to

"I'm mapping out our system using notes and pluralkit profiles and I'm confused how the co-host subsystem has so many parts. How do they not confuse themselves for eachother?"

Bro the same way as the rest of the system. Like sometimes we get it wrong but we deal with it the same as he does 😭

[wind shell]

Anyone figured out how to add a group on plural space?

[digital abyss]

System settings -> Alter groups

[wind shell]

Ah ty my dyslexia hates coloured fonts lol

[wet willow]

They are looking at adding new colours options soon (other than the current presets) however Drexel (creator of ps) is currently prioritizing getting an app into beta testing

[willow stirrup]

Is Ego-State therapy good?

[midnight drift]

I hope they add the ability to input hex codes

[fallen coral]

I haven't been through it, I've only had IFS (which finished the fusing I had started beforehand), so I can only really tell ya what I think from looking it up.

If you have a potential for being triggered by hypnosis, I would see if you can ask if a provider either not do it or figure out how to mitigate it depending on preferences &/or the provider's professional opinion. It's not a requirement of the modality, but it seems to be very common.

I also find that IFS is simpler than this particular modality seems to be, it puts parts into categories that are much more broad, even if some have traits of multiple with a primary type.

That being said, I didn't look over patient reviews of the modality as you could also do that, and I wouldn't have much feedback on that compared to looking over the actual nitty gritty of it.

[weak basin]

GG @fallen coral, you just advanced to level 3!

[willow stirrup]

thanks. good to know that thats common, already tried something like this with this therapist and our therapist is careful now after some rough times. I went to her for other things and after finding out she said she is also ego state therapist and can help 😮 its not so easy here to change therapists. had the first appointment for it but was confused if this will lead to something . I havent looked much into IFS only what people told me. tbh didnt even thought about checking reviews

[fallen coral]

If your therapist is already willing to be careful (unless I misunderstood that), then I'd suggest having a conversation asking her what it means if you do wish to try to stick with her.

But yes, people often post about their experiences with a modality and it could be helpful!

[wind shell]

Man busy night

[digital abyss]

We're loving PluralSpace.

[wind shell]

Me to we just updated our status, daily thought and wrote a journal entry about anxiety because our system is anxious

[green lava]

pluralspace is awesome, its the best one so far imo and obviously theres some things that will be changed and tweaked but the dev listens to the community and many of the things ppl want changed / added are considered

very easy to organize and i love the UI, and its super easy to add fronts and such, and all the extra things it has that sp didnt have. im very excited for the app and for future better “friends” feature & such :]

[wind shell]

happy pride

I’ve taken over front for pride, yay! :3

[wind shell]

Hope you enjoy it

[jovial vapor]

Niiice

It's my first pride fronting tbh

[wind shell]

first pride existing ✌️

[wet willow]

Happy pride! We are going to try to let Molly and maybe Niki front for pride, but we personally can't control our switches however we find if they have a specific purpose they're more likely to front (for example, if the night before, I think about how niki could do our eyeliner, shes very likely to front in the morning to do specifically that)

[wet willow]

I'm so excited we've ordered a shirt off vinted that should hopefully fit I'm praying it does otherwise idk what to wear but oh well

[wet willow]

Just found out it'll be raining all pride... Only after I ordered a sheer crop top though, obviously

I will just be very soggy