Also can someone ping someone to delete my other thread I created somehow
#Sein's Tavern
sweet sundial
That's me
keen jungle
who do you ping?
regal talon
There was this comment that encapsulates it well
sweet sundial
Actually most of my energy is gone after helping people out and caring about them
keen jungle
Or rather who can ping
regal talon
Being with them is like being with no one
elfin gulch
Reminds me of the time i talked to her to like 2am about GoT and her dogs
sweet sundial
Now i just care about myself, and i'm happy with it
elfin gulch
Her dogs are lovely, 1 furry German shepherd and 4 huskies
regal talon
Now i just care about myself, and i'm happy with it
Goated
sweet sundial
I noticed that I lived others people life back then
keen jungle
Now i just care about myself, and i'm happy with it
This is the way
regal talon
Honestly the main discovery I had in quarantine is that being alone doesn’t affect me at all
I still like talking and stuff, but ehh if I don’t wanna no use.
keen jungle
My main discovery I suppose would be that I talk to myself a lot.
regal talon
Which kinda made sense for me
sweet sundial
I like to balance things out
regal talon
All of my interests, other than occasionally football, can be done well alone, or even more optimally alone.
sweet sundial
That's why i'm getting tired of hyperactive servers fast
And why Frierencord is comfy place for me
elfin gulch
They don't even notice you were there
sweet sundial
I can’t keep up with any other server
Truee
sweet sundial
I do that sometimes
regal talon
And it’s pretty agreeable
regal talon
I’d be down
regal talon
It’s dead as hell
sweet sundial
Just as we like it
regal talon
Tho if you just want to have a server to talk about a casual one would work best
Be free of anime
keen jungle
It's been a year and I still don't know you people
sweet sundial
I like talking about stuff i enjoy tho, Yeagerboi
regal talon
Katsa I need story time on how this effects you
elfin gulch
Tho if you just want to have a server to talk about a casual one would work best
Like my friend's group chat
Made it so we can talk about going to a festival and stuff and now it's just there for shitposting
sweet sundial
Not really
Do I?
You know I was half joking
And i told him that i enjoy few of those!
keen jungle
Katsa I need story time on how this effects you
It's just stressful kinda. I don't like talking too awful much about it. Was always told growing up "that voice is your conscience!" lol
sweet sundial
Also i was kinda busy and tired lately so that's probably affecting me
I should have around 20k
regal talon
Shirenn are you active in any other server than this one currently ?
sweet sundial
Shirenn are you active in any other server than this one currently ?
Only small servers of my friends
3 servers with only few active people
And we don't talk much on two of those
I sometimes talk in HnK server but not much
sweet sundial
There was time when i was like Sea
24/7 on discord
Talking on few really active servers
Don't even know what i wanted on those
Just talking for talking
elfin gulch
I forgot his name
elfin gulch
There was time when i was like Sea
Oych
regal talon
There was time when i was like Sea
Yeah honestly same
sweet sundial
sweet sundial
I said that one for fun, and everyone agreed
sweet sundial
Don’t even keep up with <#738445835393695853> anymore
Yeah, sometimes me too
I'm too tired lately
Some health problems i guess
sweet sundial
You are 10 years younger than them boi
regal talon
Honestly I’m overdue a change in thinking
2 years ago I was super cringe mega weeb, browsed animemes.
sweet sundial
If you can think like that, you are still active and young
regal talon
Mellowed out now to just enjoy what you like bro, don’t gotta make it a big deal.
I don’t like that at all
sweet sundial
Boi, 4 years ago...
I was adding things like :3 to my messeges
sweet sundial
And he's friends with the guy that's using those edgy chuuni nicknames
Like The Lord of Flame
regal talon
I know why i shouldn’t have made those jokes now, but ehh should’ve learnt faster.
Sometimes tho I think I’m over doing it in caring about this stuff and just enjoying myself instead
elfin gulch
frierencord therapy arc
elfin gulch
Or were you
elfin gulch
We don't
We drunk and talk shit
peak bobcat
This guy was a drunkaholic
was?
I'm convinced priests get stronger the more alcohol they consume
regal talon
Yes exactly
Even around the same thing sea was asking
It would fit well
Damn well
regal talon
I love how we have so many random threads
A cat pics one
A shrine to the lord macht (praise be to macht)
And therapy the thread
peak bobcat
also exists several archived ones
regal talon
This is a vent thread yes basically?
peak bobcat
well it is for seeking out third party opinions about your problems in a civil and respectable manner
so no but actually yes
regal talon
Therapy thing will not be archived !
peak bobcat
tell the creator to choose the option to archive after 1 week
Only the thread creator can do it
well probs the mods can too
ok you click on the three dots on the top
choose edit thread
and voila
ok on mobile you open the member list
choose the settings option
peak bobcat
because this is not a Sein thread this is a solution crowdsourcing thread
keen jungle
What the fuck you trying to say, Yeag
peak bobcat
What the fuck you trying to say, Yeag
that you belong in here
keen jungle
Oh okay
regal talon
because this is not a Sein thread this is a solution crowdsourcing thread
Frierencord so poggers, crowd sourcing wrong decisions 
keen jungle
Hey wait a fucking minute
regal talon
Hey wait a fucking minute
Ok starting timer
peak bobcat
Frierencord so poggers, crowd sourcing wrong decisions <:WeLiveInAFernciety:8319...
look if you are making a mistake, it's a wise move to ensure you are not the sole one responsible
regal talon
look if you are making a mistake, it's a wise move to ensure you are not the sol...
So wise 
Ok timer done
Katsa what
keen jungle
So when Ichigo manifested his zanpakutō he made it from reiatsu. But even captain class shinigami need Asauchi to imprint themselves upon. But arrancar also have zannys, and they are comprised of reiatsu like Ichigo, but Ichigo is a Mary-Sue and is literally everything but also had to obtain an Asauchi to imprint upon, but then he had to regain his reiatsu blade?
So if hollows can obtain their own Zanny, and a human hollow quincy shini can form their own
Are shinigami just fucking stupid or what?
regal talon
Lasanga
regal talon
Poobrain Yeag 💜
Meanie
keen jungle
You literally replied to me with an entree
I just call people out. I don't make the rules.
regal talon
Calamari
elfin gulch
tell the creator to choose the option to archive after 1 week
just tag me then
peak bobcat
I do not have this particular desire
elfin gulch
I'll call you hikky
peak bobcat
nice way to ensure I will not ask anything of you
keen jungle
I'll call you hikky
As someone who made that choice
Stick with it
👀
I'll just stay with Moon for now
keen jungle
Me?
regal talon
no me
peak bobcat
how do you not get that tired from talking
Not when I’m typing them
regal talon
But typing to yourself?
Fuck you katsa
regal talon
Not when I’m typing them
Same, but talking in person can be a bit tiring
I need a way to fix that fr
keen jungle
Watch your mouth, young man
I use Bluetooth Earbuds tho, tbh.
Just wear one of the two and keep it on with music from my phone lightly playing, and then I just pretend I'm talking on the phone. 👀
I think I have a pair of airpods I could send you
What're the rates for cross-world mailing?
Half serious
elfin gulch
I feel tiring for a different reason, mostly is when I'm trying my hardest to come up with something to say
Like really keep shits going, how is your day, that's rough buddy and stuff
Or when someone vent to you, couldn't help but feel heavy af
elfin gulch
Most of us aren't, but that's what I feel
elfin gulch
I haven't slept early for like, 5 months?
So no I guess
Also when I sleep I dream of shits
Just yesterday dream reminded me why I made this
elfin gulch
Skipped them, again
elfin gulch
Probs stress.
Haha no I have no stress I'm just too comfortable with myself and stuff, living my best life
Why should I be sad
elfin gulch
Fuck
elfin gulch
Ok the thing is
What if I don't care
keen jungle
Dumb ass
elfin gulch
Yeah I'm still figuring out why I should do it while I'm not doing anything at all
Old habits die hard
I've been doing this for, 2 years now
The talk with my dad few days ago didn't help, he really said they have never asked anything from me
Ok what the fuck did I do after all then
I will just need to write a whole thesis if I'm keep thinking about it, instead I will just play bimbo bideo games instead
keen jungle
Ya goof
You sound like you're getting a touch of the depression
And that's okay.
But don't let yourself spiral, my man
elfin gulch
I don't know, I feel like everything I feel shouldn't be called depression, like I still can eat and do stuff everyday why would I be that depressed
I will just hop on, play games and forgot, won't I
keen jungle
I function daily, but I've been depressed for..
Well. Years. Off and on sometimes, here and there
I still eat and goof about, but that's to escape, personally. Everyone approaches it differently
I'm not trying to convince you either.
Just a thought of mine
elfin gulch
Damn you have been through tough stuff, congrats for being here today
keen jungle
Nah. I'm just a bitch who likes to bitch lol
Precisely!
I joke though. Shit can get rough, fast. I've grown cynical and cope with humor over the years and I think I handle it well.
Spoiler: I don't
But it's a good step forward
I still think it's just stress related, Sea.
It could be other things, but that seems the most obvious
To me anyway
elfin gulch
Maybe, I still can't know what should I do to even get myself to even keep doing what I suppose to do
keen jungle
Do what you need, for now.
But also don't forget to consider what you want?
elfin gulch
I have been stalling my study stuff for 2 years, I literally did nothing all those 2 years
keen jungle
Idk
Sein's Junkyard Tavern! Come for the company, stay to voice troubles
Well
Why are you looking back?
Understandable to reflect, but why stress?
elfin gulch
Funny, I wanted a Gaming PC and made it the most bullshit reason to get me fight on the way of getting into med school, and yeah I did, but in the end I never got the PC
But because I thought of my fucking precious family I get a shit one and just do stuff they want me to
And now I can't even get a reason to do anything
And if I can't, yeah debt
And I'm helpless
keen jungle
Everything that has already happened is intangible. Focus on your own wants and needs.
Family is important, yeah, but they don't breathe for you.
elfin gulch
Yeah I thought of my family first
Yet my fucking father told me "they never asked anything of me"
Bitch you never talked to me before you knew I didn't want to be a doctor
I mean I don't really care about the debt, first thing I thought before I signed it was
I can't just begone and let them shithead pay for that themselves
And by begone I mean ya know
I was in a worse state then, with the lack of Internet and all that for studying
I didn't have friends to talk to and only have myself on the bed crying
keen jungle
I think you might just have a lot on your plate right now and need a big outlet
So. I think
elfin gulch
This is slowly becoming the thesis I talked about
elfin gulch
Probably, I rarely vent because I feel like my problems are nothing compared to others
And if they are ok, why shouldn't I be
But yeah now I'm just, Idk, down
keen jungle
Everyone's life is subjective to their environment lol
To compare yourself to another is always goofy because no two have the same life. Even siblings, like poppy mentioned
Idk. It's dumb but like.
You gotta hit your bottom to find a peak
Can't have one without the other.
elfin gulch
Speaking of that, they also did a really bad job of raising my younger brother
Shit can't do anything because they did everything for him and blamed because he's like, stupid and shit
elfin gulch
Ha I suppose I also have quite some luck
elfin gulch
Same, but I am the one who did the torturing stuff
God I let all my shit on him, and I regret that very much
keen jungle
I don't actually think about it often. Mostly forgot.
Lol my brother and sister would hold me down and tickle me until I pissed myself
I laugh at it now. But we don't have a good relationship anymore
elfin gulch
I don't do stuff like that, but I do get mad occasionally and physically abuse him
Asian
Did, we live apart now
keen jungle
"he pissed himself again mom.", Then get my ass whooped by my parents for pissing on the floor/myself
elfin gulch
Yikes, your siblings are pain in the ass
keen jungle
I'm 28, they're almost 40
elfin gulch
Guess problems occur most with siblings about 10 years apart
keen jungle
I'd lock myself in a closet with my toys and play under a flashlight
Christ. This shit sounds fucked off when I type it out
How many eight year olds do you think you could fight at once?
Fr
I think I could maybe fight like ten
Maybe
They bite
elfin gulch
I've never had a fight, but also my boy be 10 years younger so it's one sided of my me hitting him
keen jungle
Swarm effect tho
elfin gulch
I don't even bully him, I just, get mad at him for every little things
keen jungle
Like one on one, maybe one on two is easy af
80lbs ish
36kg
Lol
Throwing elbows and knuckles to knock out kids
Wtf is this thread
Last time I got hit, I accidentally scared my grandpa and got hit harder
Was being bullied pretty rough at the new school and refused to go that week. My grandpa came into my room and hit me in the face with a wooden spoon.
"Get the hell up and go to school."
Immediately, upon waking up, slapped the spoon and away and was like "what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Didn't realize it was my grandpa and he ran out of the room fast as hell, and I still didn't know it was him who hit me.
Just like... What the fuck was that. Who hit me with that spoon. Fuck this I'm going back to bed.
Seconds later, my mom burst into my room and yanked me out of bed, smacking the shit out of me.
"Why the fuck are you attacking your grandfather!?"
"What the shit. He hit me in the face with a fucking spoon."
Full one eighty, "wait why THE FUCK ARE YOU HITTING MY SON"
Didn't go to school. Mostly cause I had a busted lip
Over ten years ago tbh
elfin gulch
Shit that was really shit
keen jungle
It was fun
Stayed home. Played CoD Mw2
Talked shit about people's moms
My mom hit me that hard
My grandpa hit me on the forehead
Over PSN. PS3 era
She thought I threatened my grandpa, he said I attacked him
Yeee' buddy
He apologized lol
He just panicked. Jumped up too quick
Still
Snow day
It's an expression
In the US certain school days are allotted as "snow days". So if it snows, they use the snow day. If it doesn't, it's used at the end of the year as a "holiday"
Hated that school tho. Never could tell if they were being assholes, sincere, or racists.
First week. "You're from Texas? Do you ride your horse to school?"
Bitch what.
Three months later, blizzard hits us and all the yuppies rode their snowmobiles, everyone else rode their horses
They had a god damn stable lol
No
I got off track
Obviously 👀
Buddy I'm sub-brick
It should be obvious to frie'cord that calling me dumber than a fucking rock is entirely accurate
Stupid recognize stupid
¯_(ツ)_/¯
dawn zenithBOT
keen jungle
This has been my last fifteen minutes
Congrats
C: ?
Still love you
don't deny what we are
ok yo. Way off track now lol
In truth I do hope Sea starts feeling better.
He seems like he's at a tipping point
I'd like for him to finish his studies and classes.
My opinion on the matter
elfin gulch
I guess?
But thanks
elfin gulch
Go back to your room boi the bar doesn't serve minors
regal talon
When’s the next therapy session 
peak bobcat
Whenever it happens
regal talon
That’s deep
keen jungle
I might need a therapy session at a point. \ (•◡•) /
Though I'm a wreck, so we'll see
elfin gulch
Come once come all
keen jungle
In other news, did you know Xenomorphs reproduction cycle is similar to a fern's?
regal talon
Yo let’s us the tavern for the 20q!
elfin gulch
ffs use your music den or smth
sweet sundial
elfin gulch
So uhh my dad just straight up told me to kill myself
I'm seriously considering either do that or uhh just leave the house
sweet sundial
What the fuck
sweet sundial
You can guess what
elfin gulch
He mentioned me killing myself for like 20 times in 30 minutes
"Keep studying or kill yourself" to quote him
elfin gulch
if you can
Also I hardly can, since I have no knowledge of how to start living on your own and plus the debt
Ngl I just can't think straight now
Please
regal talon
What the fuck
regal talon
Shirenn read the room
sweet sundial
Yeag read the sarcasm
regal talon
Not the time for jokes 
rapid sluice
So uhh my dad just straight up told me to kill myself
yeesh
elfin gulch
Anyone mind helping me with uhh negotiating with my dad?
I wanna change the school, and I have chosen a place, it's graphics designing, and I also get to have experiences doing the job beside learning, which is said to be valued more than raw knowledge, or I can even work for the school, main thing is I'll still have a job, also I have most of my friend there so I'm hopefully mentally stable
With one thing is that it is costly, I plan to do a part time job to both take care of myself and gradually get money for my medic college debt, but I need some big money because living in the city is hard, so uhh negotiate
I haven't tried because he keep avoiding me or smth
elfin gulch
Mainly I that I finish medical school (which I can't and don't want to)
I will try to convince him this is a better way (which it is)
elfin gulch
Uhh military, grew up on the countryside, typical Asian
rapid sluice
Hmm
Try talking to him first
Explain that you can't do medical
Tell him that you'll get a job, etc etc
elfin gulch
Haha
regal talon
With one thing is that it is costly, I plan to do a part time job to both take c...
It would probably be better to get a job first. So you can show that you ain’t bullshitting.
elfin gulch
Well yeah didn't work cause that's not the point
I might be better off just, leave this all
regal talon
rapid sluice
well at least i dont have the katsa issue of alcoholism
having alcohol come back up is painful 
keen jungle
Throwing up does suck
rapid sluice
yea
eating disorder aside, at least i dont have alcohol burning my throat everytime
keen jungle
Real deal. Alcohol was my coping mechanism.
Now I'm kinda fiddling about, looking for a new.. coping mechanism
keen jungle
Ch'yess
rapid sluice
it really fucks you up
keen jungle
Week sober, also
regal talon
Now I'm kinda fiddling about, looking for a new.. coping mechanism
Just go jogging
Play some music while doing it
Heckin poggers I tell you rn
keen jungle
Just go jogging <:Frieren3:790429364570423346>
Gotta get back into shape first lol
I used to run two or three miles after work, then follow up with yoga.
Worked the same hours as my roommate, but my boss had a hard-on for hating me and switched my schedule all up to fuck with me.
Fell out of my routine for several years and just out of shape in that time lol
Not a bad idea tho
regal talon
Lmao walk then nerd
Walking and running are both chill af
Just plop some music or a podcast and just walk
Like autopilot
rapid sluice
Just go jogging <:Frieren3:790429364570423346>
yeag coming in with some actual good advice holy hell
rapid sluice
Exercise can help take your mind off it
rapid sluice
LMAO
keen jungle
higher than giraffe genitalia
rapid sluice
i mean at least the eating disorder fended off crippling alcoholism
regal talon
Ok
rapid sluice
Ok
keen jungle
Nokay
elfin gulch
My life update, I am less depeessed now yippie
Also I will be neither doctor nor police
I'm a fucking graphics designer now
keen jungle
:C
elfin gulch
Huh no it's just another option my parents lay out for me, but needless to say I'm not interested either
And it's basically the same as me doing what I want, but less motivated
Also I hate my parents no more, yay, no more Asian stereotype
Tbh I did take like an hour and a half looking at them thinking yeah this is what I want, but what about them
But I can't fucking take it anymore, so it's best now I try my best and repay them whenever I can
sweet sundial
Hang in there Sea
keen jungle
Parents be a guide. Nothing is set in stone by them.
sweet sundial
Remember you got Frierencord's best psychologists backing you u p
keen jungle
Idk, I'm terrible at advice. Try not to let it get you down too much
elfin gulch
Hang in there Sea
As in a keep studying doctor or following what my feelings guided me?
Cause I did the latter, there is no going back, and I feel satisfied
So G9 and thanks for the help, friends
keen jungle
Follow yer heart, nerd
💜
Self happiness is probably the most important thing
Apart from food, water, and air
sweet sundial
As in a keep studying doctor or following what my feelings guided me?
As in do your best, we believe in you
elfin gulch
sweet sundial
Create Frierencord but 3D graphic
rapid sluice
create 3d cgi frieren
elfin gulch
Fuck
regal talon
elaborate if you’d like
elfin gulch
yeah the whole college thing isnt settled, after all they still ask me if I really want to drop it
and my mom told me if I don't care about her neither will she, I have caused them so much
so yeah I just, kinda chose to continue, again
it's ultimately depends on my dad if he let me continue or not, I'm not sure what I want to anymore
I just want to fuck myself and disappear
peak bobcat
Take a break and think about it when you feel calmer
I don’t think I have good practical advice about this because my opinion on this is quite extreme
While I don’t think I’m wrong I think people are inclined to less confrontational measures
elfin gulch
I am calm right now actually, but frankly I'm not even sure I can handle things on my own, self doubt and all that
which is justified I am a mess even not having to take care of myself
elfin gulch
I don’t think I have good practical advice about this because my opinion on this...
like what?
peak bobcat
I am calm right now actually, but frankly I'm not even sure I can handle things ...
Yeah that’s totally fair
peak bobcat
like what?
Like how to deal with parents and their expectations
And them somehow thinking you will always be their attachment/pet
Maybe many other people don’t think like this, which good for them
elfin gulch
And them somehow thinking you will always be their attachment/pet
ngl I do feel like that a lot of times
but also I have no grounds to stand on my own, no life skills, nothing
peak bobcat
but also I have no grounds to stand on my own, no life skills, nothing
Yeah that’s the issue ain’t it
My advice would be “bear with it until you can show them the door” but it’s not so simple
It’s hard to stay afloat in the world
elfin gulch
by bear with it to me is still keep doing what they want me to and leave them later?
which is what I planned to if I somehow can pull this whole medical thing off
peak bobcat
Not the med thing in particular
Just receiving their money
Financial support to go to school, etc
Put up with the gaslight techniques
elfin gulch
I mean their whole deal is they will only provide me to study med
peak bobcat
and my mom told me if I don't care about her neither will she, I have caused the...
Like this one
peak bobcat
yeah the whole college thing isnt settled, after all they still ask me if I real...
Well u said they asked you so I assumed they were only pressuring
I remember you had a plan for the alternative
elfin gulch
I had yeah, which is tricky to pull off on its own
I mean is seems more plausible than the med thing anyway
with the thing is I take care of myself, finally leaving them, which is what I want but I'm also not sure I'm ready
what do you expect from a city boy who has never even picked his own haircut
peak bobcat
It’s just about the money?
Ah
Well start with picking that haircut
Learn how to cook and clean, maybe you will realize it’s quite simple and nice
It’s different for each person
But I will say living on your own rocks
elfin gulch
I have shit hair according to the barber, so if I have to choose just do it like uhh what do you call the hair of the bully guy in bully
peak bobcat
As long as there’s no money problem
keen jungle
Buzzcut
peak bobcat
I have shit hair according to the barber, so if I have to choose just do it like...
Well depending on your hairdresser
keen jungle
Get a fade, my man.
peak bobcat
You can ask their rec
Or like
Google up pictures and reference that to him
It’s the safest
keen jungle
I go to salons, so I get a shampoo, cut, and style.
But if it's a barber?
peak bobcat
Since you don’t know a lot of haircut terms
keen jungle
I'm not into all the current-gen haircuts. You all look fuckin ridiculous to me.
But it's like.. what do you like?
elfin gulch
the hair cut was an example, main thing is I don't know now
keen jungle
lol
peak bobcat
Well
keen jungle
Welcome to life!
elfin gulch
if I can choose should I leave them now?
peak bobcat
You start with the small stuff
keen jungle
First thing is first, Sea
peak bobcat
Make the small decisions for yourself
elfin gulch
absolutely no I don't think so
peak bobcat
Even if you think you can’t now, you should start looking into learning them
keen jungle
Yes
elfin gulch
Make the small decisions for yourself
the deadline for my decision is tomorrow tho
which is 12 hours later
peak bobcat
Financial management, decision making, house chores
keen jungle
These are things that are learned through experience
elfin gulch
I'm sure I will (cause yeah I have to soon anyway)
I just feel wrong by doing what they don't want me to
peak bobcat
I'm sure I will (cause yeah I have to soon anyway)
I just feel wrong by doing wh...
Oh ye this is the part why I say I have unhelpful extreme opinion
peak bobcat
I mean
keen jungle
you're just a dramatic child
elfin gulch
but because of me they have to work their ass off to pay my debt (which I signed because no money for student loans life good)
peak bobcat
They're.. your parents, Sea
Yeah this
keen jungle
It isn't their job to do as such, but a parental responsibility. They want you to do well and I'm sure that where the pressure comes from, but you are a person.
Not an object, or just something they spawned
You get choices
peak bobcat
Which is why I find parents who do the “Do you know how much it cost to raise you” to be bullshit like from the principles
Like
I didn’t give birth to me
keen jungle
I didn't ask to be born
peak bobcat
You did the thing you wanted to do and now is blaming me when I don’t turn out your way?
Gtfo of here
elfin gulch
I mean, true, but can I really say that while having contributed nothing to them and only consume?
peak bobcat
I mean, true, but can I really say that while having contributed nothing to them...
Yeah because you are a child
keen jungle
Life is full of surprises.
Many doors to choose from ||Ed-Boys||
You are literally still developing
peak bobcat
What do you expect, to do labor and pay them?
If you have second thoughts about what you want then I understand, but if it’s purely because you don’t want to upset your parents then don’t hesitate
This is a bit dark but your parents aren’t around to live your life forever
elfin gulch
I have only one thought, that is to study multimedia stuff and try to live for myself yeah
(which consists of stuff like web designing, making ads, 3d animation, sfx)
but damn do I not feel throwing up thinking doing that might fuck me up in the future
keen jungle
Gotta roll the dice.
No one can tell you the future.
For all we know, Yellowstone could erupt in fifteen years and kill most humans lol
elfin gulch
fuck, ok all this guilt is because of money right? if I somehow repay them it should be ok right?
peak bobcat
fuck, ok all this guilt is because of money right? if I somehow repay them it sh...
Uh, I’m sorry to say it might not be
elfin gulch
they are my parents, so even though I hate them, they didn't do stuff like not physically or verbally abused me
peak bobcat
See it really depends on what type of people they are
elfin gulch
they are like old-fashioned Asian parents to carved the way for their kids with shit ton of pressures
like telling everyone I'm in med and how good I am, how I am like the only one in my family
peak bobcat
No no I get that
But how do they process their kid “rebelling” for lack of a better word
elfin gulch
err my father told me better to kill myself if I decide to drop out of it when he was drunk
twice
each time mentioning it not less than 10 times
peak bobcat
Okay I get it let’s not dwell on that
elfin gulch
other than that they tried to like convincing me to find a way to keep going while trying to make me find a motivation in the thing
peak bobcat
See this stuff is complicated
Bc the guilt you spoke of can be emotional as well, and that is a different ballpark
elfin gulch
I'm weak willed of course I'm also a snowflake
peak bobcat
And they seem to tie a lot of emotional attachment (for lack of a better word) to your medschool as well
All I’m saying is
Life is a mess
elfin gulch
yeah, thanks, I think I will do what I want and believe then
peak bobcat
I hope it works out
elfin gulch
yeah
I should really fix my sleep schedule if I wanna take care of myself
fuck it's 1:21
keen jungle
Yeee
Rem sleep is what's important, but you'll run your body down without enough rest
elfin gulch
rem sleep?
keen jungle
REM, or rapid eye movement sleep
elfin gulch
I don't think I do that what even is that
keen jungle
It's when you're genuinely knocked out, and your brain processes and heals and such
Your eyes literally bounce around rapidly under your eyelids
elfin gulch
oh so it occurs because you sleep when you are supposed to be awake?
keen jungle
nah
Lemme just Google that for you
Rapid eye movement sleep (REM sleep or REMS) is a unique phase of sleep in mammals and birds, characterized by random rapid movement of the eyes, accompanied by low muscle tone throughout the body, and the propensity of the sleeper to dream vividly.
peak bobcat
oh so it occurs because you sleep when you are supposed to be awake?
No it’s just a stage of sleep
elfin gulch
ohh
peak bobcat
REM has been indicated to be crucial to rest
keen jungle
The most important, if I'm correct?
peak bobcat
Without it people report feeling tired and not well rested
peak bobcat
The most important, if I'm correct?
Yeah iirc
Been a few years since I had Psy intro
keen jungle
The weird guy from Seinfeld trained himself to sleep three hours a day with primarily REM sleep, is where I heard about it lol
peak bobcat
Ah well defeats the purpose
keen jungle
Was like.. five months of sleeping an three hours, awake three hours, consistently.
Then a few months of two hours. Hour. Thirty minutes.
Then flipped to sleeping three hours a day and shocked the body into only entering REM.
I'm sure it's plausible..
The idea was to get as much out of every day as possible.
But the overexertion with the lack of proper rest would kill you
or end up insane and calling a man in the front row of your stand-up a n-word
👀
Derailed topic.
SEA.
Get some rest, buddy.
elfin gulch
I uhh will, after I finally decide what to kill time on before sleep
although I'm tired, I don't wanna sleep to soon
as long as I wake up at 8
but thanks a lot guys, you helped a lot
elfin gulch
both
keen jungle
Close enough
rapid sluice
I mean, true, but can I really say that while having contributed nothing to them...
You didn't sign a contract with them when you were born
You aren't obligated to do anything for them
rapid sluice
Man, I really wish AI could just sort my life out
rapid sluice
Like
Why the fuck do I have to question my identity every other day
I wanna just put my faith in the unthinking, eternally calculating god
regal talon
keen jungle
rapid sluice
Y'know I kinda hate how I keep going around in circles whilst wasting precious time
Like if I made the damn decision now I could get started on transitioning instead of wasting time, maybe making steps to change my gender legally
Or, if I made the decision to just stay as-is, I can just forget about everything and just move on
elfin gulch
important things take times, you can ask people if you feel lost
also I swear Discord hates me it only displays this thread when I'm on PC so I can rarely see any new messages here
rapid sluice
got asked out by a friend, and am now in a complicated web
like, she asked me out, i turned her down (obviously with care)
we're still friends, but that happened about a week ago
and now she's asking me why
elfin gulch
You just don't feel like it?
rapid sluice
that's what i told her a while back
now she's asking if she's not good enough for me
elfin gulch
Which is odd to me since I've never had a love life, but both friend and stranger asking you out is kinda odd
rapid sluice
she's treating it like an insult to her pride
rapid sluice
Which is odd to me since I've never had a love life, but both friend and strange...
idk i've always been asked out but i've never asked anyone out since i'm aro af
elfin gulch
idk i've always been asked out but i've never asked anyone out since i'm aro af
Wtf popular Iris?!?
rapid sluice
but like
i told her that i'm not the one for her
and she's not taking it well
but on the other hand, i think this is a rebound
so i also dont wanna slap her too hard
elfin gulch
I mean if I'm being honest you should at least tried going out once? Like go eat and do stuff? (Or if you're friends, you've done those stuff before, but it worth a try and also shows that you probably be better as friends?)
elfin gulch
and she's not taking it well <:Frieren3:790429364570423346>
I think that for people who are this way best to just show them like why this should not be like that
rapid sluice
but on the other hand, i think this is a rebound
source being that she was moping about like a week and a half ago, and asked me out last week
elfin gulch
Well that was a week ago so the worst thing is that you guys will be awkward seeing each other now?
rapid sluice
idk
emotions weird
plus, we're just platonic, and i dont see her that way, but apparently she does???
i'll try to turn her down again if she pushes it
if not, i could try going out with her, but my only investment is our friendship
if anything happens, she's the one getting hurt, not me
elfin gulch
It's for her own good I guess, but then I've had no experiences with this kind of stuff before (beside that I'm still figuring out my feelings for my friend, it's all over the place)
Or uhh ask her out to a McDonald's
Food helps!
rapid sluice
Or uhh ask her out to a McDonald's
Food helps!
that's where we became friends actually
would be kinda BM to break her heart a second time there LMAO
elfin gulch
Do you guys still talk frequently after that?
elfin gulch
Like uhh she's wanna ask you put again?
rapid sluice
yea
elfin gulch
if not, i *could* try going out with her, but my only investment is our friendsh...
Yeah sorry this is all I can think of, like if you just don't see her that way and she keep insisting it after you've tried, that's on her for getting hurt, she's gotta learn it the hard way if things don't work out
rapid sluice
well, she's the one that gets hurt
not me
i just lose my friendship
but it sucks that this happened because of a rebound
elfin gulch
Katsa why
sweet sundial
No need to worry about me
I'm perfectly fine
I think
I believe
I... suppose?
regal talon
Ok
sweet sundial
Now talk to me yeager
regal talon
about what tho
sweet sundial
Let's do manga talk in #other-series-disc
Or just talk to me
I wanna hear about your day
regal talon
Im not really active so I don’t know what’s going on
regal talon
I wanna hear about your day
#royal-capital let’s go
rapid sluice
yknow its weird, its not like i wanna die, i just dont wanna be alive
like, between jumping off or getting thanos snapped, there's nothing stopping me from taking the second
rapid sluice
right?
its like
both the world and myself would be better off if i didnt exist
Yeah
I just wanna not exist
No mind to think
dawn zenithBOT