That at least i can attest to
#40k-lore-chat
queen laurel
wraith quartz
I didn't know that
wraith quartz
Hmmm
queen laurel
No one is going to call him an acolyte
A high ranking inquisitor?
arctic talon
yeah prolly
solid oyster
I think If I was born in the Warhammer 40K Universe, I'd like to be a Grey Knight
I'm pretty lucky when it comes to lucky draws yo
crystal forum
i dont think you get to choose that
outer wave
Me when a Krieger comes up to me
solid oyster
I might actually make it
queen laurel
I think If I was born in the Warhammer 40K Universe, I'd like to be a Grey Knigh...
Buddy
Do you know the recruitment process of a grey knight
solid oyster
Idk they give you a grey/white space Marine Armor?
queen laurel
Idk they give you a grey/white space Marine Armor?
Read it
Trust me it's not pretty
crystal forum
psyker AND space marine
queen laurel
Yeah every single space marine gray night is a psyker
And they also memory wipe you by the way
crystal forum
AND can resist chaos
queen laurel
They will turn you into a f****** weapon and you will like it
crystal forum
AND doesnt die immediately
outer wave
And they also memory wipe you by the way
Tbf thats just space marine protocol
Still fucked but yeah
queen laurel
Tbf thats just space marine protocol
That doesn't make it any better mob psycho
crystal forum
says the ork
outer wave
WE'RE STILL DOING THIS?!
queen laurel
WE'RE STILL DOING THIS?!
I find it funny
solid oyster
Just to be clear, Psykers are 1 in a million and they feed 10,000 of those fuckers to the God Emperor Furnace Thing each day?
queen laurel
And so i will say it
outer wave
I find it funny
Thats fair
crystal forum
Just to be clear, Psykers are 1 in a million and they feed 10,000 of those fucke...
the good ones are rare
crisp heath
@wraith quartz acolytes are anyone who works for an inquisitor, explicators are the most trusted acolytes, and interrogators are inquisitors in training
arctic talon
We're dealing with quadrillions of people(at least)
storm jungle
the Imperium also at least has a million worlds
solid oyster
the good ones are rare
Ohk
storm jungle
the good ones are rare
"Good" ones?
crystal forum
every human is psychic to some level except nulls
storm jungle
No they arent
arctic talon
"Good" ones?
as in powerful
crystal forum
screw you dilara
storm jungle
Most base humans arent psychic
queen laurel
says the ork
Your general shot your best friend because he was a coward for suggesting something reasonable
hallow plover
Numbers in warhammer should be taken with a grain of salt. They don't make sense most of the time
arctic talon
What are the odds that you will join the DeathWing?
recruited by the Dark angels
crystal forum
Your general shot your best friend because he was a coward for suggesting someth...
yeah and he deserved it probably
arctic talon
or a sucessor
solid oyster
They got them cool guns
arctic talon
then you need to survive until you're a veteran
queen laurel
yeah and he deserved it probably
He just suggested tactical retreating for a better shot
You f****** numpty
bronze tinsel
Most Humans aren’t psychic, but have a small amount of psyonic energy, enough to register in the warp but not enough for literally anything else
storm jungle
Yeah the psychic stuff has a chart for this reason
crystal forum
if the comissar shoots him then he's probably wrong
outer wave
Most Humans aren’t psychic, but have a small amount of psyonic energy, enough to...
Its enough that they can be possessed and such by choas
storm jungle
you go from having no psychic presence to having some and being considered "lucky" to having straight up magic powers
arctic talon
Numbers in warhammer should be taken with a grain of salt. They don't make sens...
tbh the quadrillions of people on terra number given makes sense
outer wave
Hence why Tau arent typically favored by Chaos
arctic talon
it would make sense to say the imperium has quadrillions of people in it
crystal forum
you go from having no psychic presence to having some and being considered "luck...
all humans except nulls have a psychic presence in the warp though
crisp heath
Numbers in 40k
storm jungle
all humans except nulls have a psychic presence in the warp though
having a soul does not make you psychic
all living beings minus nulls have one
crisp heath
Holy fuck that compressed horribly
solid oyster
Lol
bronze tinsel
people who are completely null give off uncanny valley effect to other humans, they’re deemed as “soulless”
crystal forum
having a soul does not make you psychic
no powers but still receptive to psychic stuff
storm jungle
yes?
crystal forum
like they can feel nulls
storm jungle
thats like saying "since you exist you can get shot"
crystal forum
this is true and im right
solid oyster
So you are telling me, Nulls are the true Bane of Chaos Gods?
crisp heath
chapter master is a good game
Chapter Master really needs another fork
solid oyster
What is Anti-Warp tech?
crystal forum
they're the banes of writers
storm jungle
What is Anti-Warp tech?
Blackstone, google it
queen laurel
but nulls arent bad either
Nulls wearing black stone armor
arctic talon
What is Anti-Warp tech?
Technology designed to deal with the warp
also blackstone goes both ways
hallow plover
Nulls can be overcome I think
arctic talon
its not just anti psyker stuff
bronze tinsel
How useful would it be to have Nulls on your Voidship?
arctic talon
It can be psyker boosting stuf
hallow plover
Ex: big E and the SoS
bronze tinsel
specifically because of warp jumping
queen laurel
How useful would it be to have Nulls on your Voidship?
Very f****** useful
crystal forum
How useful would it be to have Nulls on your Voidship?
very useful if you can find one
arctic talon
How useful would it be to have Nulls on your Voidship?
very useful
bronze tinsel
I figured
queen laurel
You can basically send a lot of the demonic threats to the warp immediately
arctic talon
good luck getting one though
storm jungle
Nulls can be overcome I think
Its the same rule with things like Vampire the Masquerade.
"Oh no im a vampire and you are holding a cross at me and im weak! Also I can just shoot you with this gun in my hand."
queen laurel
By just throwing a poor motherfucker at someone
crystal forum
a null bodyguard is like denying any chaos trickery on you
crisp heath
When the blank accidentally passes too close to the Navigator's Sanctum
queen laurel
Why do you think Cain got so lucky most of the time
crystal forum
When the blank accidentally passes too close to the Navigator's Sanctum
i thought you said scrotum for a second
queen laurel
Jurgen is his smelly personal anti warp shield
hallow plover
You can't cancel the effect of a bolter shell to the face
storm jungle
^
crisp heath
i thought you said scrotum for a second
Also bad
storm jungle
this is something wizards in fiction forget a lot
crystal forum
i thought demons dont even see nulls
arctic talon
blow someones stupid face off
arctic talon
i thought demons dont even see nulls
They see an absence in the shape of a human
thats absolutely horrid
and gives off terrible vibes
solid oyster
Doom Guy is living proof of the concept that if you use enough bullets and rockets and plasma guns, the problem will be solved
hallow plover
But I think theres some Faith shenanigans coming with the Pariah Nexus
crystal forum
Doom Guy is living proof of the concept that if you use enough bullets and rocke...
check out kaldor draigo
he's basically doom guy
solid oyster
Lol
crisp heath
But I think theres some Faith shenanigans coming with the Pariah Nexus
My girl Stern coming out and praying the necron tech magic away
hallow plover
He did my boy Morty dirty (twice)
crystal forum
TO A CHAOS CHAMPION
hallow plover
Kaldor and 4 (+ another 4) grey knights fighting Morty in the garden of nurgle
arctic talon
Are we talking about the video game
crystal forum
what video game
arctic talon
hallow plover
Chaos Gate
crystal forum
is there a video game with kaldor
arctic talon
Yes
crystal forum
i need to play this
arctic talon
he shows up in Chaos Gate
crisp heath
The Morbus
crystal forum
i love OP characters
crisp heath
t h e m o r b u s
arctic talon
Yet another Moty L
crystal forum
the morbus
arctic talon
what about The Morbus
crisp heath
Nurgle daemons are cutie patooties
crystal forum
they all just wanna have fun
crisp heath
"Please papa nurgle may I have eternal bliss 🥺 "
"Best I can do is sepsis and OCD"
solid oyster
I am Kaldor Dreigo
I will absolutely vanquish the joy out of slaneesh and beat the Living Daylight out of Nurgle
If I believe strongly enough, I am Kaldor Dreigo
"I believe I can fly"
crisp heath
Which chaos god do you think likes cats the most
solid oyster
None
Wait a minute
Guys
I have a theory ...
What if the true Chaos Gods are actually Orange Cats
crisp heath
I think cats appeal to all of them
crystal forum
Which chaos god do you think likes cats the most
slaanesh because they're fucking evil but pretend to be nice
solid oyster
Hidden within the Deeper Warp
crisp heath
They're mindless killers for khorne, they projectile vomit when nothing is wrong for nurgle, they're ineffable and vaguely malicious for tzeentch, and they're cats for slaanesh
celest dome
Not Tzeentch, he prefer birbs
crisp heath
Yeah cats would drive his daemons to near extinction once they enter the ecosystem
solid oyster
Lol
storm jungle
Because birds IRL have a lot to do with prophecy and magic and such
especially in a lot of myths
you fucking DUMBA-
crisp heath
Tzeentch is literally named after a parrot some GW guy met on vacation
crystal forum
you're making that up
storm jungle
The actual backstory of the name is even funnier
it was literally just "What random word sounds good as a magic spell you would shout when casting"
lol
outer wave
Tbf it does sound like a cool wizard spell
storm jungle
Nurgle was just Nergal an actual south american plague god, Khorne was a modified version of Crom from Conan the Barbarian, etc
crystal forum
it makes me want to spit while saying it
crisp heath
you're making that up
I'm not but it's probably more of a rumor than a fact
storm jungle
Its not true so no
outer wave
Nurgle was just Nergal an actual south american plague god, Khorne was a modifie...
Nergal is Mesopotamian/Assyrian IIRC
storm jungle
yep that one
crisp heath
Also the 4 chaos gods are the 4 elements and Tzeentch is air
crystal forum
Also the 4 chaos gods are the 4 elements and Tzeentch is air
NO
storm jungle
Also the 4 chaos gods are the 4 elements and Tzeentch is air
no
crisp heath
Yes?
outer wave
Also the 4 chaos gods are the 4 elements and Tzeentch is air
Yes of course!
crystal forum
dont forget malice
crisp heath
He's literally called "The Inconstant Air" in fantasy
celest dome
Is Khorne Earth or fire ?
celest dome
Is Slaanesh water cause crabs ?
outer wave
He's literally called "The Inconstant Air" in fantasy
He's associated closely to the winds of magic as well, and generally wind for the Norscan tribes
crystal forum
bruh
arctic talon
Malice is a fucking puny weakling
crisp heath
Crabs because water. Water is traditionally the most emotional element, hence Slaanesh
arctic talon
who only took 11 sacrifices to manifest in real space
fucks sake Belakor is stronger lol
crisp heath
Nurgle is Earth because he's stagnation and decay and Earth is both the most stable element and that which everything returns to when it decays
Khorne is fire because angy
crystal forum
does he do anything though
outer wave
Nurgle is Earth because he's stagnation and decay and Earth is both the most sta...
Earth is also most associated with nature, and Nurgle is just a nature god in essence
solid oyster
And I am gay
crisp heath
He's a tree boy
arctic talon
does he do anything though
he gets his ass beaten by grey knights and marines
outer wave
And I am gay
And you are gay
crystal forum
The Sons of Malice are also canon
they're not associated with him anymore
arctic talon
Give us more lore on The Raptor god GW
outer wave
earth wind fire water gay
Huh so thats what The Fifth Element was about....
arctic talon
they're not associated with him anymore
Yes they are. they're the ones who brought him to real space
solid oyster
You know what else is Canon? The asian mom's slipper
crystal forum
Yes they are. they're the ones who brought him to real space
not anymore. they're in the cadia stands book and they worship some other bullshit
they got retconned
arctic talon
Guh
crystal forum
malal doesnt exist
arctic talon
Malice exists
crisp heath
Age of Sigmar has the five elements that Plato wrote about when he realized there was something more transcendent than the 4 "gross" elements: Earth, Fire, Air, Water, and Rats
arctic talon
they might have just jumped ship
on Malice tbh
since they literally summoned him to real space
and he got his ass beaten
crystal forum
retcon
arctic talon
that isn't a retcon
dusk patrol
Its not rats
arctic talon
just because they switched to someone else
dusk patrol
Everyone knows the fifth element is cheese
crystal forum
he literally contributes nothing to the setting
arctic talon
to worship
dusk patrol
he literally contributes nothing to the setting
Sure he does
He contributes a lot of dumbasses on Reddit spouting about him like he ever has mattered
solid oyster
Guys, is Warhammer 40K a parody of Religious Dogmatism in the real Human world? Because everyone worships someone and they are ready to beat the living daylights out of someone who doesn't believe in the same guy as them, is this foreshadowing guys? Chat is this real?
crisp heath
Doesn't Malice get referenced in one of the 30k books when it has a diagram of the 8 powers in the warp?
arctic talon
not directly
dusk patrol
Like Rylanor and the Angel and Clonegrim and FUUUCCCKKK
arctic talon
Malices most recent lore isn't old
also what the fuck do the sons of malice worship
in Fall of Cadia
crystal forum
just general chaos
dusk patrol
Hatred
crystal forum
i literally finished the audiobook recently
crisp heath
arctic talon
Either way Malice is still canon
crisp heath
With the confirmed powers added on in this chart
arctic talon
he got summoned to real space
and then banished
if I were the sons of malice
I'd stop worshipping him too
Just saying
dusk patrol
More like Sons of a Lil Bitch
crystal forum
this is so open to interpretation that i shit myself
arctic talon
Their most recent mention
crystal forum
thanks now i need new pants
arctic talon
of Malice is in 2010
nvm
either way I don't see why The Sons of Malice worshipping someone new
dusk patrol
Maybe if you fixed your yee yee ass paint scheme you’d get some bitches on your warband
arctic talon
makes Malice non canon
crisp heath
But yeah Malice is still canon but he's more like Vashtorr and Belakor than another chaos god
crystal forum
Maybe if you fixed your yee yee ass paint scheme you’d get some bitches on your ...
HOW do i paint this
dusk patrol
With paints
crystal forum
like what the fuck is this cow shit
dusk patrol
And brushes
storm jungle
Also your hands
dusk patrol
But yeah Malice is still canon but he's more like Vashtorr and Belakor than anot...
False
crisp heath
Malice the Moo Cow
dusk patrol
He doesn’t do shit
solid oyster
Why are we arguing about Malice being canon again?
dusk patrol
They do shit
crystal forum
mf's looking like the star trek episode about racism
arctic talon
Why are we arguing about Malice being canon again?
He is canon he's just worthless
dusk patrol
mf's looking like the star trek episode about racism
Most subtle Roddenberry political commentary
solid oyster
He is canon he's just worthless
Just like all of us
storm jungle
Most subtle Roddenberry political commentary
Eternal you're literally the guy that dislikes X-Men, you are the last person to comment on anything political
solid oyster
I'm sorry that was rude
storm jungle
no it was correct
crystal forum
i was going to say ted cruz
arctic talon
lol
solid oyster
Lol
dusk patrol
Eternal you're literally the guy that dislikes X-Men, you are the last person to...
I don’t dislike X-men
Well, depending on the storyline
storm jungle
storm jungle
Well, depending on the storyline
To be fair thats any comic run
dusk patrol
Pretty wide breadth there
crystal forum
dont shoot yourself dilara i need all your money
storm jungle
BRUH
crystal forum
oh right
storm jungle
also who doesnt love "[Character] kills the Marvel Universe"
crisp heath
I dislike x-men because if there was a person with a gene who could control my mind and/or fires death lasers uncontrollably I'd probably also be racist about it
storm jungle
christ lol
crystal forum
also who doesnt love "[Character] kills the Marvel Universe"
universe 949198 be like
then they have to raise the stakes by saying they'll kill all the universes
crystal forum
like brother WHAT DOES INFINITY MEAN
paper haven
X-Men sort of accidentally justifies racism.
crystal forum
huh
paper haven
Within the universe, I mean
storm jungle
Even thats debatable
paper haven
Not in real life
crisp heath
It really does, that's my point. Being afraid and hateful of mutants makes sense, real racism doesn't. You can't introduce actually dangerous people and make it a racial allegory.
storm jungle
It really does, that's my point. Being afraid and hateful of mutants makes sense...
No it doesnt
what do harmless mutants have done that deserve prosecution then lol
fleet parcel
i swear if hestia asks to touch me once more
crisp heath
what do harmless mutants have done that deserve prosecution then lol
They literally accidentally kill people all the time
dusk patrol
christ lol
Idk I don’t think they’ve done “Christ kills the Marvel Universe” yet
That is a good idea though
storm jungle
They literally accidentally kill people all the time
So do humans though? 
dusk patrol
Have Ennis do it
storm jungle
Pls no
dusk patrol
For maximum edge
crystal forum
Idk I don’t think they’ve done “Christ kills the Marvel Universe” yet
if thor can be a superhero why not jesus
paper haven
Thing is, there's no real way to tell if a mutant who has dangerous abilities will decide to use them or not. Until they do.
storm jungle
Okay but this applies to people too
arctic talon
Have Ennis do it
is there gona be a stupid sex joke every couple of pannels?
wait no
solid oyster
I am beyond this now, I will only play one game from now on, "I am Jesus Christ"
arctic talon
wrong writer
dusk patrol
Also Jesus will be a drug addicted hitman stripper
storm jungle
Marvel is literally filled with supervillains who arent mutants who do worldwide extinction events
💀
storm jungle
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Jesus_of_Nazareth_(Earth-616)
NOOOOOOO
arctic talon
also genuine question
solid oyster
https://marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Jesus_of_Nazareth_(Earth-616)
Bruh
crystal forum
Thing is, there's no real way to tell if a mutant who has dangerous abilities wi...
do you not see the irony in what you're saying
arctic talon
how the fuck do people know the difference between mutants and other super heros
in universe
storm jungle
They dont
storm jungle
Average nazi moment 💀
celest dome
Most perfect Xmen bits is Rogue saying that "they can cure us"
Only for Storm to say "There is nothing to cure, we're perfect"
crisp heath
how the fuck do people know the difference between mutants and other super heros
Mutants have powers specifically because of the X-gene. Other people may have supernatural or gained powers
storm jungle
^
arctic talon
Mutants have powers specifically because of the X-gene. Other people may have su...
okay but how does a normal person know that
storm jungle
they dont
crisp heath
Most perfect Xmen bits is Rogue saying that "they can cure us"
Only for Storm to...
"Storm I kill anyone I touch"
arctic talon
okay like
storm jungle
"Storm I kill anyone I touch"
Thats Rogue
dusk patrol
Also have Xavier never use his powers to the extent he should be able to
storm jungle
also its literally why she covers herself up lol
so you know, that she doesnt hurt anyone
dusk patrol
Wheres the mutant whose good at removing hats?
paper haven
Of course, implementation of draconian policy pushes mutants to rebel, which justifies the fears. It's a bad allegory.
dusk patrol
Jsut need him and Xavier to beat Magneto
storm jungle
Of course, implementation of draconian policy pushes mutants to rebel, which jus...
Its really not
celest dome
how the fuck do people know the difference between mutants and other super heros
Actually that does happen in a run of Spiderman
Where Mutant are the superior faction and at some point it's found that SM isn't one and has a big problem, having to go in hiding and stuff
storm jungle
XMen will always remain relevant because humans are territorial assholes
we always find osme reason to hate people we dont like
its really not that complex
crisp heath
Also Storm literally runs a fascist ethnostate
crystal forum
Of course, implementation of draconian policy pushes mutants to rebel, which jus...
people treating other races like being intrinsically violent is like racism 101 i dont understand what's the weird thing here
storm jungle
No???
dusk patrol
The difference is Doom is based and funny so it’s ok
storm jungle
Also Storm literally runs a fascist ethnostate
And the U.S Government creates Sentinels and they wipe out humanity. We can cherrypick all day here lol
paper haven
Sure but the things that make humans hate other humans, like race and whatnot, aren't at all reasonable.
storm jungle
The difference is Doom is based and funny so it’s ok
Doom needs no mention. He is Doom.
solid oyster
I love humans, always finding a reason to de-head their neighbour
crystal forum
Sure but the things that make humans hate other humans, like race and whatnot, a...
but they justify it with bullshit reasons to make themselves feel better. it's the entirety of what racist science was about back in the day
storm jungle
^
paper haven
Being worried that a kid who just hit puberty might accidentally kill everyone in his town is reasonable.
dusk patrol
Fool
outer wave
Jesses, what in the fuck are y'all talking about
celest dome
Seeing how they treated "harmless" mutants...
storm jungle
Seeing how they treated "harmless" mutants...
Things like Genosha also prove even when mutants do nothing people still want to exterminate them.
lmao
crystal forum
and yeah it's fucking marvel of course it wont be perfect social commentary
paper haven
but they justify it with bullshit reasons to make themselves feel better. it's t...
Yeah but that's pure nonsense. As is racism in general.
dusk patrol
Tbf their name alone is reason to genocide them
crisp heath
The issue is that marvel mutants are inherently dangerous, unlike any real world demographic, and that's why it's a bad metaphor
solid oyster
Things like Genosha also prove even when mutants do nothing people still want to...
What if they mutate further
storm jungle
The issue is that marvel mutants are inherently dangerous, unlike any real world...
So are humans, and so are any other super individual
your argument makes no sense
dusk patrol
Super Sentinels
storm jungle
Yeah like i said before, Sentinels literally wipe out humanity lol
because "they" make mutants too
celest dome
Things like Genosha also prove even when mutants do nothing people still want to...
Yup just fear of the different.
In other news, I was supposed to play a Vampire the Masquarade one shot but it had to be cancelled last minute
solid oyster
Guys, let's make a new world where no one gets any rights
crystal forum
Yeah but that's pure nonsense. As is racism in general.
if racism was super obvious to everybody then nobody would be racist
crisp heath
Idk I'm a Moon Knight fan anyway and the official line about Moon Knight is that he belongs in prison lmao
solid oyster
Lmao
storm jungle
dusk patrol
Ok but what if we made sentinels this time without dumbass programming
solid oyster
Bruh
storm jungle
Never trust robots
outer wave
Damn I enjoyed Moon Knight in Marvel Alliance....
celest dome
Ok but what if we made sentinels this time without dumbass programming
Then they wouldn't kill the Mutants 
crisp heath
Damn I enjoyed Moon Knight in Marvel Alliance....
I think he works better if he's self contained but damn... also every interaction with Spiderman is great
dusk patrol
Idk I could convince them
storm jungle
I do love how in a deleted scene in Days of Future past Nixon has a guy tell him Trask was planning to sell sentinel tech to other countries and he instantly has him arrested lmfao
solid oyster
Never trust robots
"Said Dilara as she instructed her roomba to go clean the kitchen floor"
storm jungle
most realistic U.S politician
solid oyster
I do love how in a deleted scene in Days of Future past Nixon has a guy tell him...
Lol
storm jungle
He literally goes "Nah these mutants sound useful, we gotta work with them."
he has that CIA grindset
celest dome
I work with machinery and automation
I fear them, but at the same time, as long as we have ways to make them dependent on energy
Should be alright
paper haven
if racism was super obvious to everybody then nobody would be racist
Right and the best way to combat racism is to show those people that the differences don't actually mean anything. That becomes immeasurably more difficult when those differences are actual magical powers.
crystal forum
nixon based?
solid oyster
He literally goes "Nah these mutants sound useful, we gotta work with them."
Work with them ❌
Weaponize them ✅
crystal forum
guy literally created the trend of americans calling every scandal a gate
STOP CALLING EVERYTHING GATE
storm jungle
I literally know nothing about Nixon aside from him being a crook and being n Blacks Ops Zombies
not the worst resume
crisp heath
He's really known in america for being a crook and comedically sweaty
celest dome
Right and the best way to combat racism is to show those people that the differe...
Aye, for historical examples the way France and Germany became friend after WW2 had a big pivot point where the French president decided to take the German Chancelor's hand during a commemoration, which was quite surprising for the time
crisp heath
Like he was a moist man
crystal forum
I literally know nothing about Nixon aside from him being a crook and being n Bl...
he hated gay people and did vietnam war stuff and then watergate
crisp heath
Is he still alive? Is he still moist?
solid oyster
I was recently watching a bollywood movie about two Indian army soldiers trying to flop the plan of a guy who wants to create super soldiers without a conscience to be controlled by war generals
It was the most ridiculous shit ever
storm jungle
You can make any Bollywood movie plot into a 40k book
not even a joke
"Sir lets make our spear and shieldmen form into balls and launch them with catapults at the enemy"
solid oyster
Lmao
storm jungle
God that movie was wild
solid oyster
"Sir lets make our spear and shieldmen form into balls and launch them with cata...
Bahubali the Conclusion
Yeh
solid oyster
That movie was wild
crystal forum
Is he still alive? Is he still moist?
oldest live president is motherfucking peanut guy
pushing 100
crisp heath
Jimmy Carter is the nail that pins time to space and the Lords in Black will not allow him to die lest all comes unbound
solid oyster
No, it's Ryan Reynolds
storm jungle
Literally at death's door
dusk patrol
The real most unrealistic plot point of x men is that Mystique somehow found time to have like fifty billion fucking kids with everyone and their mom
Come to think of it so many x men have so many goddamn illegitimate kids
crystal forum
bro jimmy carter's kids are in their mid 70's
solid oyster
I was about to say something, now I won't
crystal forum
like what the fuck
solid oyster
I'm a God Emperor fearing man
paper haven
Considering what had just went down, that is fairly spectacular.
paper haven
Aye, for historical examples the way France and Germany became friend after WW2 ...
^ damn it, it didn't reply like I wanted it to
crystal forum
guy's a raisin
crystal forum
fucking kill me when and if i reach 75
dusk patrol
Ok
crystal forum
oh wait nvm he in hospice care and basically almost dead
dusk patrol
Probably
crystal forum
yup probably a news headline soon
crisp heath
oh wait nvm he in hospice care and basically almost dead
That happens like every 5 years
dusk patrol
World shocked as 99 year old man dies
crisp heath
He's been having miraculous recoveries basically my entire life
solid oyster
World shocked as 99 year old man dies
Lmao
crisp heath
I'm convinced they're sacrificing goats to extend his life or something
crystal forum
just special that he's still alive
and at least he's not one of the hated presidents
dusk patrol
Ever wonder why there’s a huge unicorn shortage?
crystal forum
one of our prime ministers died a couple months ago
dusk patrol
and at least he's not one of the hated presidents
Well, maybe not to people who weren’t alive when he was in office
crystal forum
Well, maybe not to people who weren’t alive when he was in office
idk he still ranks as one of the least hated presidents
crisp heath
I heard one time he unhinged his jaws like a snake and swallowed up an entire family
solid oyster
I heard one time he unhinged his jaws like a snake and swallowed up an entire fa...
What
crystal forum
spin the wheel for which US war
crisp heath
I also like to watch the footage of when he was campaigning in Wisconsin and every step split the earth, leaving a gaping fissure behind him
dusk patrol
Very few presidents weren’t
crystal forum
I also like to watch the footage of when he was campaigning in Wisconsin and eve...
oh he supported the khmer rouge
didnt mean to reply
but he did that
which is womp womp
oh shit he was president during the soviet Afghan war
crisp heath
He also has my favorite presidential quote
"Who will pray for you? Is this the eternal dark without a dawn?"
crystal forum
oh right he was also the first openly religious president
dusk patrol
Mostly his “popularity” these days is mostly from people who weren’t alive when he was in office
And mostly from the platitudes he said
And not what he did
dusk patrol
Sure you can
Elect me
I’ll make the trains run on time, the rivers flow with chocolate and children will dance in the fields with adorable bunnies and deer
Also the other guy said you guys are dorks
paper haven
"Who will pray for you? Is this the eternal dark without a dawn?"
That election cycle was wild.
paper haven
Who won that one, again?
crystal forum
the former actor
crisp heath
Anyway go watch Monument Mythos for political horror comedy
crystal forum
nah
i preferred it when it was like 5 people watching those videos
fucking wild what my youtube recommendations are
YES im a hipster and YES i hate everything
paper haven
I know about monument mythos but have never actually looked into it
crystal forum
you have no idea how weird it is to be recommended a video of that stuff out of nowehre
with like 5k views
paper haven
No I am fairly certain I do
crystal forum
since you've never watched any
you'll have the same experience i had
this on your recommendations after coming back from work
5k views
crisp heath
Its good soup
crystal forum
never heard of it before
fucking terrifying
i dont think i smoked weed back then but it made me feel like i was tripping
crisp heath
It's like how people say "going by the title, I assume Ben Drowned"
"I have no way to describe to you what happened to Ben"
crystal forum
like most horror it gets 10000x better if you have no idea what you're getting into
which is why i both love and dislike ARG essay channels
it's good that artists get attention but like it ruins the mystery when a guy explains it to you
loud badge
Who's ben
crisp heath
Not me watching the horror musicals 😭
crystal forum
anyways praise the youtube algorithm and i hope it recommends me more obscure stuff
most of the stuff i get is amateur but eventually it'll pay off
storm jungle
fucking terrifying
It starts good but gets super shit post season 1
and like entirely leans into shitposting
lmao
crystal forum
yeah it's the point when it got popular
i dont know why i always try to sound nicer, i fucking hate casuals
storm jungle
LOL
yeah idk what the creator was even thinking ngl
like the first season is great because its like hellboy-tier paranormal shit
then it just goes full wacky
crystal forum
idk alexkansas seems like an actual artist which is rare among horror creators
but i really do hate soft horror
if kids like your horror series then you've fucked up
if you're not permanently scarring them with nightmares then what are you even doing
like mandela catalog
which is the former
crisp heath
May I suggest Invocations and Malediction
crystal forum
what are those
crisp heath
40k hhas a horror franchise those are imo the better books
crisp heath
Uh can't answer for sure sorry I buy most of the hardcover stuff from amazon within a couple weeks of it been available. Last I checked they weren't too hard to find but it's not like the heresy series where you find em everywhere
crystal forum
warhammer crime is not something that should exist and yet it makes perfect sense
gotta love when writers try something different
celest dome
Warhammer Noir would be quite fun
crisp heath
like brutal disgusting noir
You might be in luck, there is a series of the crime books (will have to find) basically an arbites hunting down a crim empire that get's some chaos fuckery involved. It's uhhh brutal....
crisp heath
Sorry not much of the horror series get's audiobooked. Pretty much only the bigger novellas now or the content from the main writers like ADB, Abnett etc
Also don't think the ones that are have Johnathan Keeble
crystal forum
i'd listen to an AI voice. i have no standards
i just want something to listen to in the car
it soothes my road rage
near wasp
I mean a cop novel about arbitrators trying to take down a non chaos drug ring or something would be fun
And it has to have an outragous amount of police brutality
crystal forum
YES
but treated like a normal police story
so the protagonist isn't phased at all
twilit musk
Warhammer noir but you don’t have to solve crime or follow the law
Walk around shooting door handles as a way to open them at like a hab commissary
commissar told me he was proud of me once.
fuckin prick
mighty seal
Sister of Khorne
young pecan
Why she scritchin that dude's chin
dusk patrol
Sexism
crystal forum
*fuckin prick*
see this lasgun? old man gave me that when i was in the factorum. seen a lot of action.
safety ALWAYS off
i have an unhealthy obsession with trailer park boys
azure knoll
what in-game weapons that we have do cadians use?
both laspistols i imagine, all 3 infantry lasguns, plasma gun... do they use any bullet weaponry for their non-sniper infantry?
storm jungle
both laspistols i imagine, all 3 infantry lasguns, plasma gun... do they use any...
All their weapons are las based, even the snipers like most guard regiments.
Cadians also dont really have "gear", they use standard issue equipment.
So the Kantrea lasguns, laspistol, chainsword, plasma-gun and the "base" generic flak armor you see in some cosmetics is the same shit they also utilize
rose thorn
Love the pump action las guns
storm jungle
I was about to say thats prob the grip
but theres literally a shotgun rack/slit thing on it
lmfao
rose thorn
Yea lol
Don’t forget about the ‘artificial recoil’ las guns have
I have no clue if it’s real or not
storm jungle
Lasguns got recoil in 90% of 40k material
its only some smartass authors that say it doesnt have one before just another piece of work in the universe negates it
so it just doesnt matter
crystal forum
what in-game weapons that we have do cadians use?
oh oh a guard question finally!!
they use lasguns mostly since they're guard
castellans and other officers get melee weapons and pistols that they get to choose
they even get full scale bolters
you'll often see them using chain swords and power weapons
plasma pistols, bolt pistols, autopistols, laspistols
cadian shock troopers also get autoguns sometimes
sergeants can have belt fed autoguns
lore wise it gives them more full auto firepower
other than that they also have squad weapons like grenade launchers
melta guns, plasma guns
but those are specialist weapons
then you go into the bigger guns like lascannons, heavy bolters and autocannons
those are squad operated weapons
oh wait fuck you asked for in game weapons
storm jungle
I was gonna stop you and say that
but seeing you destroy yourself was too enticing
crystal forum
im too excited to talk about guardsmen 
storm jungle
crystal forum
i didn't even get to talk about kasrkin weapons
which are arguably the cooler ones
azure knoll
there's a selection here yes
crystal forum
shame we dont get hot shot lasguns in game
azure knoll
shame we don't get any sort of snipers
crystal forum
i'd love a grenade launcher
azure knoll
play ogryn 
storm jungle
azure knoll
you get 2 kinds of them, even
crystal forum
not the cool revolver kind that guardsmen use
azure knoll
or! or !
crystal forum
oh and in case you didn't know the lucius pattern lasgun is modelled after the krieg one
azure knoll
the ability to select a charge amount for lasguns
yeah i did know
which was why i didn't even think of them as cadian ones
because yes, lasgun, but not the classic one
crystal forum
which also coincidentally looks like the solar auxilia lasrifle
meanwhile lascarbines i HAVE seen mentioned in lore
azure knoll
aren't solar auxilia just... solar regiments of the guard?
crystal forum
they're the 30k default regiment
since 30k was before any popular regiments existed
storm jungle
which was why i didn't even think of them as cadian ones
Cadians dont have their own lasgun brands, theirs is Kantreal
which is uh, from Kantreal the Planet
azure knoll
fucking mini space marines what is this
storm jungle
its called a space suit
crystal forum
they look funky yeah
crystal forum
you should see their walkers
storm jungle
its like if a sentinel had an abortion
crystal forum
ye light sentinel is awesome
azure knoll
mobile shitter
storm jungle
This one shat its pants
crystal forum
the wild and wacky world of 30k
azure knoll
can take a shit anywhere you want and remain undisturbed because of your back-mounted rockets
storm jungle
since 30k was before any popular regiments existed
☝️🤓 also akshually-
crystal forum
can take a shit anywhere you want and remain undisturbed because of your back-mo...
except this is 30k so it'll get turbo shitted on by a space marine super heavy tank
because this is 30k and space marines do NOT fuck around
storm jungle
the Solar Aux has as many good hard hitting tanks
azure knoll
what's the point of solar aux
azure knoll
so that space marines eventually run out of bullets
storm jungle
no
azure knoll
yes
storm jungle
solar aux are elite
crystal forum
what's the point of solar aux
fun custom regiment that a GW modeller made that got turned into its own thing
storm jungle
they arent canon fodder
storm jungle
forgeworld
crystal forum
nobody likes GW
leaden pilot
Everyone knows that James doesn't really know how to run his Workshop
azure knoll
which pattern does cadia actually use from the 3 infantry lasguns we have
crystal forum
anyways solar auxilia are supposed to be the turbo regiment because anything 40k level would get shit on by space marines
like solar auxilia fields a ton of baneblades and co
storm jungle
which pattern does cadia actually use from the 3 infantry lasguns we have
Kantreal
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT
crystal forum
oh wait i have question
azure knoll
YES THERE IS YOU IDIOT
crystal forum
while somebody's car alarm blares next to me
storm jungle
SHUT UP.
azure knoll
crystal forum
i wish it could shut up
storm jungle
it was like a few months after the game came out that the cadians got an update
and got another lasgun mark next to this one
storm jungle
Agripinaa
azure knoll
agripinaa?
leaden pilot
Agrippinaa or however you spell it
azure knoll
they only produce bullet guns
twilit musk
see this lasgun? old man gave me that when i was in the factorum. seen a lot of ...
there it is hell yeah
azure knoll
i need to read them books dude
twilit musk
i miss cadia
crystal forum
good guard books are hard to find
crystal forum
you have the tanith who have more books than most space marine chapters
twilit musk
Would it be a full bay that’s part man
crystal forum
yet also being irrelevant both on tabletop and lore
azure knoll
i do want to read gaunt's ghosts yes
crystal forum
they're the only long form guard series i think
crystal forum
ye
storm jungle
the problem with the book is it wastes time basically almost showing nothing about the war on the planet
crystal forum
it's supposed to be the one book where the event that kick starts the entire era happens
and it sucks
twilit musk
yet also being irrelevant both on tabletop and lore
irrelevant?! very last human is important, don’t let the hate win
crystal forum
like it spends 80% of the book talking about that whitesshield bitch
storm jungle
ıt has chaos, marine, guardsmen, civilian, etc all kind of POVs
crystal forum
is that mean
crystal forum
i do not care about her
storm jungle
like i said above it literally explores nothing about the actual war
leaden pilot
they're the only long form guard series i think
Isn't Ciaphas Cain also that?
crystal forum
also for some reason a single commissar decides to execute like half a regiment for deserting the planet
storm jungle
Not deserting the planet
crystal forum
hurr durr imperium bad
storm jungle
for dropping their gun during an evacuation
crystal forum
it's just not fun to read
storm jungle
but yeah read Fall of Cadia
crystal forum
you really should have asked in book club first, we could have saved you
i took the first audiobook i could find
storm jungle
good timing because it got an audiobook update
crystal forum
i will purchase it right now
storm jungle
the last narrator was so bad it got replaced
crystal forum
lmao
crystal forum
does it happen before cadia stands
crystal forum
i thought that was cadia stands
crystal forum
whar
storm jungle
-
Cadia Stands was a hastily made book that kind of has no substance because it basically explores nothing about the actual war on the planet while you follow random ass guardsmen around that arent even in the thick of the fighting, by 2024 rn its VERY outdated
-
Fall of Cadia meanwhile written by Roberth Rath (same guy that did the Infinite and the Divine) explores EVERY aspect of the war, the arrival of Abaddon's fleet, the buildup, how Creed reacts to the situation, the troops, the air battles, the ground battles, how the space marines, sororitas and EVEN chaos marines/Abaddon fare against the entire thing in all their own chapters.
Its a very ambitious book but does the job really well
Like one chapter you are reading about some kasrkin squad hunting down a traitor radio operator using a vox-demon to help chaos bombers pinpoint bomb specific supply caches
Then the chapter after that is Trazyn booping around seeing if theres anything worth stealing on the planet lol
crystal forum
oh i didn't know it was much older
storm jungle
Yeah its uh
crystal forum
they should put dates on their god damn books
crystal forum
is that old
storm jungle
Yes
crystal forum
that's just 2 years ago
storm jungle
Yeah its super good
it also does an amazing job of humanizing Creed
a guy you prob never gave a shit about but will love by the end of this book lol
crystal forum
the car is blaring again
i just know he shits out vehicles like no tomorrow
and auspex tactics jokes
hiding a titan behind a potted plant
storm jungle
hes literally churchill
thats all you need to know
hope you like him smoking and drinking whiskey every page
crystal forum
amazing
i need to buy this and drive home before i smash this car until it becomes scrap metal
storm jungle
crystal forum
who's the new narrator
want to make sure i'm getting the right one
is it david seddon
crystal forum
no rush but i will go fucking insane soon
crystal forum
shit so i have the older version
crystal forum
oh ok
im using apple books is why
i'm previewing it and it's the same guy who did fall of cadia
alright fuck it 28$ let's go
storm jungle
rocky gale
is it david seddon
Seddon these nu..
crystal forum
dilara making GW more money than their marketing team
holy shit this intro is awesome
storm jungle
Told ya so
Only warning im gonna give remember that this covers the war from EVERY party's perspective.
So expect some POV whiplash, its easy to get used to a few chapters in
twilit musk
please if someone can find this post it good lord, but i saw a meme of a like 3 page cheap bound book and it was titled "THE FIRST 40K NOVEL FROM THE EYES OF AN EVERYDAY CITIZEN"
im assuming by page 2 he was mortally injuried and by page 3 it was the end of the book
rose thorn
so it just doesnt matter
Lmao
crystal forum
im assuming by page 2 he was mortally injuried and by page 3 it was the end of t...
the life of the average pleb is probably just really boring
like going to the manufactorum every day to hit a machine with a wrench until you die of old age
twilit musk
but slot machines at every street corner
balance overworked and communal living spaces with high speed unrestricted gambling
crystal forum
am i missing a joke here
twilit musk
they wouldnt have time to be heretical gotta hit the slots baby
my state 3 years ago decided to put slot machines in every gas station, roadside restaurant, inner city bar and even in truck stops to boost finances
the joke is its funny when you put the downtrodden unto irresponsible addictions
crystal forum
oh
right because gambling is poor people tax
i didn't get it because i dont think most imperial plebs get paid
twilit musk
shouts out to the everyday citizen for hanging in there and not rightiously taking up arms against the local authority
get them tanks schmooovin out that foundry lads
crystal forum
shouts out to the everyday citizen for hanging in there and not rightiously taki...
that's what the enforcers are for
making sure they're loyal
this isn't an Orwellian critique, it's grimdark
get bonked in the head if you act weird
azure knoll
dude rimworld is a fucking game
what in the world is this
also, my headcanons are that both borderlands and rimworld are based in highly unexplored parts of the 40k galaxy
young pecan
what in the world is this
Kinda like how in Minecraft when you find a village you steal the bountiful harvest but replant them (idk)
twilit musk
A gentrified criminal
gray umbra
what in the world is this
they beat your citizens but make sure they're still okay to work
winged jacinth
what in the world is this
In other settings we call them "superheroes"
fleet parcel
so, in the game, whos in charge, grendyl or brahms
green loom
Grendyl
celest dome
Grendyl has dirt on Brahms
fleet parcel
so what exactly is brahms job
celest dome
She's a Rogue Trader
They are dynasties that are given as much rights as they can, and work as traders, both with Imperial worlds and sometime with Xenos ones
leaden pilot
Xenos is just a fancy word for aliens, it's not that they're inherently good or bad
celest dome
The Imp does deem them as bad though
leaden pilot
Yeah but that's the Emperor tho
As much as I love the Imperium I can't say that they're the good guys
celest dome
Oh they are fully not good guys
leaden pilot
They're the protagonists of 40k, and we follow it's story mainly through the eyes of humans, but it doesn't mean that they aren't horrible, xenophobic, genocidal, religious maniacs
leaden pilot
Oh they are fully not good guys
Yeah
storm jungle
All ill say is theres a reason not every Imperium book (most of the time) has you following a human character whos a straight up nazi.
They are made to be sympathetic or one of the semi-good among the billions of rotten bunch because that is fun to read for a reader that is getting into the setting.
leaden pilot
Yeah, it wouldn't be fun to read Gaunt's Ghosts if Gaunt was a typical commissar
storm jungle
^
Same reason why Guilliman is the "main" Primarch of Era Indomitus, hes the best person you can use from a marketing POV as a Hero Poster Boy.
Blue armor, blonde, handsome, triyng to manage to "fix" the Imperium even tho thats not really the point of the setting, etc
green loom
I'd argue he isn't fixing it
storm jungle
He isnt but the marketing is trying to show it like he does.
Realistically speaking the Imperium is not salvagable, theres a reason his first words when he woke up were "Id rather we died in the Heresy than see what has happened now"
lmao
green loom
I mean more that his glorious space empire is also probably horrible
storm jungle
Well yeah but people dont really know that either
green loom
I'm sure Space Caesar will be totally normal about eugenics and stuff
leaden pilot
Sometimes I wonder how things could've been if Emperor hugged his sons once in a while
storm jungle
Probably better
storm jungle
I'm sure Space Caesar will be totally normal about eugenics and stuff
LOL
also yeah guilliman straight up tells the rogue trader thats flirting with him that he straight up has genocided countless species and that she should be afraid of him
he is one of the few rare primarchs to actually be burdened by the fact though which is a rarity, he has straight up said his real father is Konor Guilliman
orchid lark
Guilliman would hate pleasure worlds
Being a hard ass that he is, he wouldnt be tempted by vices and as a result would cause a small drain in humanity’s self expression
Which in turn will cause severe acts of resentment and secession
There will be arts and shtuff
But it would be in the greater benefit of society as opposed to singularity and expression
The imperium as it devours everything will devour itself
The coolest alternative universe scenario for 30k is if ALL primarch collectively went, this emperor dude is a jack ass lets just kill him and institute a republic
storm jungle
No Empire also ever lasts forever
the Imperium is not even an Empire either though if we want to get technical so lol
orchid lark
Which the Emperor knows but like a dumb ass doesnt tell anyone about it
The worst thing also being the other perpetuals just
Went with it too knowing the same too