general-chat

[hazy valley]

I should start reading the books because I only know Sly Marbo from memes LOL

[vivid zinc]

Plus the diseases. Even if you survive ur probably dead.

[tropic grove]

can we just say that is plot armor that some random dude can take out an CSM just cuz the dude is a named one

[hard gorge]

Sylvester Stalone IN SPESS

[simple cliff]

I am not kidding, you can actually mind over matter a good portion of Nurgle's shit. But you need to mind REALLY hard.

[potent sage]

the wyrmwood vox chatter videos talked about daemons hiding in vents and making their way into the upper hive while hunting anything alive down

[tropic grove]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

[simple cliff]

Because warp shit is weird.

[potent sage]

if not a plague marine, this would be cool!!

[hazy valley]

Why are we yelling

[hard gorge]

i don't think i can mind-over-matter needing to shart incredibly bad, both out of fear and necessity

[tropic grove]

AAAAAAAAAAA

https://tenor.com/view/warhammer-wh40k-sly-marbo-aaaaaa-alfabusa-gif-14316691

[hard gorge]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[simple cliff]

When a nurgle plague is unleashed on a planet, the ones that survive tend to be the tough ones.

[tropic grove]

uh embeded fail

[hazy valley]

AAAAAAA?

[tight pine]

Something edible just appeared

[simple cliff]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[vivid zinc]

sharting from the mouth and butt too. Cuz Nurgle parties like that.

[tropic grove]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[delicate vapor]

https://tenor.com/view/epic-embed-fail-ryan-gosling-cereal-embed-failure-laugh-at-this-user-gif-20627924

[simple cliff]

[hard gorge]

newfren spotted
he does NOT know TTS

[tight pine]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[potent sage]

what if i have immunity to evil nurgle killrape disease because i used to get sick all the time and now i dont anymore

[hazy valley]

OH TTS

[jaunty path]

By the power of nurgle, I shall thwart you

vomits shit

[somber stream]

Worst thing about fighting Nurgle is the corrupted form of their daemons, a book mentioned how some Cadian collapsed from madness while looking at them alone, not to mention fighting those

[marsh iris]

the marbo scream unlocks my memory of DoW trailer sargeant

[hazy valley]

I know of TTS and watched a little but haven't gotten through it all yet

[tropic grove]

ofc sly marbo saved corax life that is canon lmao

[hard gorge]

my favorite comic from this artist was the one where Greyfax was just philomena cunk

[jaunty path]

You can just be a blank if you want immunity to chaos

[drowsy axle]

seriously for the orks it's always a good time from the PoV of whoever they're fighting it's usually a horror story

[hard gorge]

well when you're fighting an army entirely composed of your moms it really fucking sucks

[tight pine]

Why did I need to know that information magos?

[dire kayak]

your psyker's name melted my skin off

[jaunty path]

:)

[hard gorge]

i am going to put everyone on Philomena Cunk

[tropic grove]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[delicate vapor]

[tight pine]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[simple cliff]

One book has a planet hit by pappy nurgy. All the PDF died but some of the regular guard survived and the Tempestus Scions were almost completely spared.

You can beat the nurgle plague by being filled with DETERMINATION or some shit.

[hard gorge]

something something METUHL BAWKSES

TEH COWARDZ, TEH FULZ

[marsh iris]

SINDRIIIIIIIIII

[astral basin]

You guys are yelling aaa
I groan it

[hard gorge]

WE... inhale WE SHALL TAKE AWAY THEIR METUHL BAWKSES

SSSSSSINNNNDRIIIIIIIIIIII

[tropic grove]

CSM in catachan: "HE IS IN THE FUCKING TREES WHERE IS HE"

[simple cliff]

Unless it's like... directly injected into you. Then you're fucked.

[marsh iris]

DoW dialogues are so based

[astral basin]

Much madness here tonight

[hard gorge]

that game was fucking wild, there was a khornate sorcerer of all things

[hard gorge]

-# spess mahrens!

[vivid zinc]

Well it's been fun everyone but I'm off, cheers!

[delicate vapor]

was broke on coins and forgot my other classes had items there waiting to be discarded

[hard gorge]

sleep well carnifex!

[simple cliff]

He never used magic in battle or to avoid combat. Just for rituals. That is legit how Khornate Sorcerers work. You often won't even know they're a sorcerer until they draw a circle in blood and bunch of demons pour out or some shit.

[marsh iris]

TODEH WE SHALL DIE A GLORIOUS DEATH, but NOOO, IT IS THEY WHO SHALL DIE

[hard gorge]

i wonder if khorne would approve of sorcerers who make shit explode

or like
Spellblades

or bloodbenders

thats properly khornate

[simple cliff]

He's probably dig spellblades.

But making shit explode? WIth magic? FUCK OFF!

[marsh iris]

indrick boreale my bro

[tropic grove]

an open mind is like a fortress, with is gates unbarred and unguarded

[simple cliff]

The moment you use that shit to make combat easier or to avoid it, he hates you.

Summong demons to fuck shit up? Cool. Teleporting closer to the enemy to fight faster? Cool. Preventing the enemy's magic from fucking your shit up? Cool. But the moment you shoot lightning or some shit, you're cooked. You're done. You're deep fried.

[tropic grove]

khornate "sorcerers" pffffff

[hard gorge]

-# We no oua dootee and we will doo it!

[simple cliff]

They never call themselves sorcerers and if you call them one and they hear it, you're getting punched. HARD.

[jaunty path]

im hungry

[tropic grove]

yeah khorne wouldn't admit it

[hard gorge]

gotta Torque it out

PUNCH HIM SO HARD HE EXPLODES!

[delicate vapor]

its an ok country

[jaunty path]

shoots you

[delicate vapor]

o deer

[simple cliff]

Usually they use 'ritualist' or something like that. One warband called them 'Blood Priest'.

[drowsy axle]

or hit with whatever's nearest

what do world eaters call their techmarines anyway?

[tropic grove]

if a sorcerer kills a lot of dudes then khorne would care only that he killed a lot of dudes or would he complain that is a sorcerer that killed it since he doesn't like magic

[hard gorge]

i call my girlfriend a blood priest every month and she beats the fucking shit out of me, just like a khorne worshipper!

[simple cliff]

Something stupid with the word 'blood' in it.

[hard gorge]

well khorne doesnt mind guns so I assume he just has a hate boner for magic cause it's for pussies

[drowsy axle]

i mean, fair but also the one-noteness of them is part of their charm

[drowsy axle]

well that and he has a hate boner for tzeentch in general

[potent sage]

if i was a chaos god

the imperium would be done for by now

just saying

[hard gorge]

does this apply to the space wolves who wolf their wolf so the enemy doesnt wolf wolf and wolf, wolf wolf wolf!

[tropic grove]

then how is it that khorne hates more slaneesh than tzeentch

[potent sage]

i would be the chaos god of chaos

[drowsy axle]

space wolves it's the months of shame that usually sells people on them and also viking

[potent sage]

i would be the chaos god of guns actually

[hard gorge]

big magic mollusc man in SPACE

[potent sage]

shoot everyone

[simple cliff]

Using magic to make combat easier or avoid it is a big no with khorne. You can summon demons, prevent other people's magic, and basic utility shit. But the moment you deny khorne martial combat, you're fucked.

[drowsy axle]

god i want the skaven in 40k so bad if only because it'd be fun to see their hair-brained inventions but space

[tropic grove]

we have tyranids for that

[hard gorge]

wolf lord
Wolf guard
wolf priest
Fenrisian wolves
Thunderwolf
Wulfen
Wolf scout

i think we need more wolfs in our wolf

[drowsy axle]

they are neither hair-brained nor get up to the same funny rat antics they do not count

[simple cliff]

So doing some stupid ass ritual to summon a fuck-ton of bloodletters or shit like that is fine. Binding a demon into a tank or a ship is also fine. Putting up a 'aura' so that the enemy space wizards don't blow everyone explode is fine. Shit like that.

[hard gorge]

"The best way to defeat a Space Wolf is to wolf his wolf. You must be careful, though, because if the Space Wolf wolfs your wolf first, then your wolf is wolfed."

[drowsy axle]

fusing with your ship is also fine

[tropic grove]

yeah but sadly they couldn't be implemented for reasons i forgot

[delicate vapor]

3 oggys in the team..

[hard gorge]

"A good way to get into a state of pure wolfness, would be that you shall wolf the wolf until the wolfing wolf wolfs. Then, when the wolf wolfs your wolfness, the wolves of the wild will wolf your wolf up. Wolf!"

"Wolf wolf wolf wolf wolfity wolf. Wolf wolf, wolfo wolfy wolf wolf wolf. Wolf? Wolf!"

[tropic grove]

wolf the wolf wolf of the wolfs

[drowsy axle]

well with age of sigmar it is entirely possible because they make tunnels in the warp

[ebon bay]

Why are the Space Wolves vikings? Are wolves really that important to viking mythology or something?

[drowsy axle]

you are the safest you'll be

[tropic grove]

why not?

[hard gorge]

i think the in-lore explanation is that the Space Wolf unit names are just roughly translated to gothic and they hate that everything is "wolf"

[marsh iris]

✊ 🐺

[drowsy axle]

seriously i've never felt safer as any class than when i had a 3 stack of ogryns by my side

[jaunty path]

It appears Khorne has several gifts that repel psychic energy

[hard gorge]

Theyre the Vlka Fenryka

the sons of Fenris

[ebon bay]

Also they never wear helmets

[hard gorge]

but the rest of the imperium just sees WOLF WOLF WOLFITY WOLF

[ebon bay]

I seem to remember a story where some chaos lord kept sniping them because they weren't wearing their helmets

[delicate vapor]

im an oggy too

[drowsy axle]

also they hate guilliman

[drowsy axle]

then you are with brothers and it is time to show oggy might!

[hard gorge]

as they fucking SHOULD

[ebon bay]

Is their hatred of helmets written into their traditions or something

[tight pine]

FERRIS?!

[hard gorge]

the tau had something similar

[marsh iris]

i figure guilliman tried to shove paperwork in their faces

[hard gorge]

one of Farsight's buddies would send him pics of missiles about to hit un-helmeted marines

[graceful hamlet]

Can’t sniff if you’re in a sealed environment like a full suit of power armor

[ebon bay]

They should just wear horned helmets, although maybe that would be too Chaos-y

[drowsy axle]

they didn't like the codex astartes and saw it as incredibly flawed limiting power too heavily,

[hard gorge]

oh then you just look like Warhammer Old World Norsca

[drowsy axle]

keep in mind tho the space wolves are one of the legions that still operates mostly as a legion

[hard gorge]

now THATS proper chaos

[marsh iris]

"Codex astartes are for nerds!"

[ebon bay]

Yeah, that's why I said it might be too chaos-y

[drowsy axle]

tho with guilliman penning the codex imperialis who knows what the next will be

[simple cliff]

They are mad because the codex requires them to read. THey can't.

[acoustic pebble]

Hey hey people

[jaunty path]

Oh

[acoustic pebble]

Jack here

[hard gorge]

Space Wolves kinda get a little too much unique stuff tbh

compared to other founding legions

[tight pine]

“Have you ever drank water?”

[drowsy axle]

tbf the codex astartes was originally meant to evolve but instead became binding chains for the astartes and lead to more harm than good prime example being the badab war

[acoustic pebble]

Ultramarine are the best

[jaunty path]

Apparently theres a Khorne renegade named Cadian 666th

real

[graceful hamlet]

Space Wolves stay winning

[jaunty path]

subtle.

[acoustic pebble]

What is water?

[hard gorge]

SPACE BOOK SAYS THIS BAD

[hard gorge]

LMAO

[marsh iris]

space wolf ate my homework type shit

[ebon bay]

Like this

Wait how do I post images

[drowsy axle]

to also be fair here there's a lot you can do with viking aesthetics

[simple cliff]

Black Templars: "...Get a load of this shit. How are we supposed to nonstop crusade with a numbers limit... oh hey a loophole."

[acoustic pebble]

That's the neat part: you don't

[graceful hamlet]

That’s the neat part, you don’t

[hard gorge]

very Grey Knights

the 666 trials of desolation
the liber daemonica has 666 pages

[ebon bay]

Oh....

[acoustic pebble]

Jinx

You owe me a kiss on the lips

[simple cliff]

[hard gorge]

666 words of sanctity

[tight pine]

But stickers exist

[graceful hamlet]

Can’t believe you blatantly stole my response smh

[twin flower]

wuh the hell

[acoustic pebble]

I did it first

[drowsy axle]

space wolves also do that they are technically a bunch of chapters but they all listen to the great wolf

[ebon bay]

I wanted to post a horned space marine helmet but okay

[acoustic pebble]

You stole mine by 0.1 second

[graceful hamlet]

Factslop is lame

[jaunty path]

your name needs to be orange

[ebon bay]

They all listen to the 'chaos daemon'

[twin flower]

You can still post at the other channels, but you gotta be red named

[jaunty path]

250 messages

[simple cliff]

Yeah, but they have a massive problem with digganobz amoung their ranks.

[ebon bay]

Or just the daemon I guess

[tight pine]

You can do that in media or something when you get your media rights (after a time)

[drowsy axle]

i'm sorry what?

[acoustic pebble]

Calling it "factalop" only further proves that you are in fact: a dumb dumb poopy head

[simple cliff]

DIGGANOBZ!

[ebon bay]

Technically the Sanguinor is like, an Emperor daemon

[graceful hamlet]

Not really, each Great Company is only like 100-200 marines

[hard gorge]

Black Templars are also massively autistic in the xenocidal and bad haircut sense

though so are the deathwatch. Maybe its a thing for all space marines wearing black

[marsh iris]

digganobz gang

[acoustic pebble]

DIGGANOBZ

Digganobz class when?

[simple cliff]

@drowsy axle FOOL, BEHOLD!
https://youtu.be/Y29aGTbg62A

[marsh iris]

✊

[tight pine]

I’m not gonna say it

[hard gorge]

"Grandmaster, what-"
bonk
FAHK YOU, DIGGANOBZ

[ebon bay]

Black Templars are the best. Fuck the Codex Astartes. He is the mother-stomping emperor, his legions should be 'massive'.

[acoustic pebble]

Good

[acoustic pebble]

Black Templars are cringe ngl

[hard gorge]

mmmf.... me when the emperor shows me his massive throbbing legions

[twin flower]

They aight

the community is wahts cringe

[acoustic pebble]

Imagine trying to be teutonic knights but gae

[graceful hamlet]

Insultslop smh

[ebon bay]

They're pretty good, they're just way too extreme.

[hard gorge]

all space marines should be hardcore gay

[acoustic pebble]

Nah, it's "factslop"

[ebon bay]

Like, extreme, even compared to the rest of the Imperium

[acoustic pebble]

That sounds gae

[cosmic burrow]

Black templar fans are 2 things

[hard gorge]

me when someone shows me the newest primaris model and i call it marineslop

[graceful hamlet]

I mean, they’re the ones taking the Primarch’s seed all the time

[cosmic burrow]

Racists or furries

[acoustic pebble]

They're not gae enough

[tight pine]

They’re off brand dark angles and imperial knights, those two sorta nail the look… but they’re alright, crusaders are always cool

[cosmic burrow]

Both hate eachother

[hard gorge]

TRUE

[jaunty path]

how so

[marsh iris]

both smells

[ebon bay]

Black Templars would probably kill all the rejects on sight, because they're incredibly insane.

[hard gorge]

space marine monasteries just look like the intro to Lords of the Locker Room but multiplied by a thousand

[acoustic pebble]

I wonder how many crusaders actually won

Oh wait

[hard gorge]

"why dont you uh, get out of that jabroni outfit?"
"yes, chapter master."

[acoustic pebble]

Ultramarines are the greatest of them all

[marsh iris]

[graceful hamlet]

Toilet seat emblem bozos

[acoustic pebble]

But they're blue

[hard gorge]

"hey buddy, you got the wrong door. Leather club's two blocks down."
"Fuck you."
"no, fuck you battle brother!"

[acoustic pebble]

Thus the best

[marsh iris]

have to represent the golden throne

[jaunty path]

skibidi chapter

[hard gorge]

soup song lads

[simple cliff]

Hey, if orks are fungus, what do they taste like?

[graceful hamlet]

Erm, so are the space wolves

[tight pine]

Ok then, I go eep now. Bye everyone that can read this

[drowsy axle]

i still say the orks win 40k eventually because their waaaagh powers get so great gork and mork fuse together

[acoustic pebble]

Nah, they chose gae blue

[hard gorge]

depends, are they the 'shart out of every pore' mushroom or the 'tastes kinda like dirt' mushroom

[acoustic pebble]

Get back here

Nos

Now

Or I'll sell drugs in your neighborhood

And kidnap your god

I have free candy

[delicate vapor]

[simple cliff]

Space Marines can supposedly get the memories of a creature by eating its brain or something. The writer's always forget this.

[ebon bay]

They take the creed of killing the witch, the heretic, and the mutant, to the most extreme interpretation. They literally barely use navigators or astropaths, because despite being 'abhumans', they're technically mutants.

[twin flower]

I thought that was retconned

[acoustic pebble]

Ngl: Space Marines are cringe

[twin flower]

Or at least like not all of them can do it

[acoustic pebble]

They should get rid of them

Just have Hive Scum

[graceful hamlet]

Space Marines can spit acid too but we never get that ability in game 😔

[hard gorge]

writers forget about a lot of things in lore, sadly

also conversely, i love how guilliman just kinda holds his breath in space and punches the heads off of chaos marines

[graceful hamlet]

Let me vomit on the Tyranids

[cosmic burrow]

Not all chapters though

[simple cliff]

I don't think officially they ever retconned it. They just forgot it existed and agreed to stop talking about it.

[graceful hamlet]

Erm, how can they look like the good guys if they’re eating brains? Duh

[hard gorge]

isnt there the sus-ann membrane that lets them squeeze through tight spaces?

[ebon bay]

Conversly, the writers have forgotten about Gulliman

[hard gorge]

like vents, perhaps

[jaunty path]

ok honestly aesthetic wise no it wouldnt really fit for all marines to be able to spit

[hard gorge]

or is the sus-ann membrane the one that lets them enter suspended animation

[graceful hamlet]

Heh, they’re spitters

[delicate vapor]

l4d reference

[ebon bay]

The return of a Primarch seems to have not had any effect on anything

[hard gorge]

I can't be up to date on all 500 different primarcum organs implanted into them

[simple cliff]

Maybe. But remember, they also expel deadly poisons and toxins via violently shitting them out at great speed and force.

[acoustic pebble]

"M'names Ellis"

[hard gorge]

welcome to 40k! the status quo MUST be maintained no matter what

[acoustic pebble]

Pills

[twin flower]

"the helicopter, its made out of burgers"

[ebon bay]

Real Deciever shit right there.

[graceful hamlet]

Can’t have grimdark eternal war if John Blueberry fixes everything

[acoustic pebble]

I HAVE JAMMED A HORSE SKULL INTO MY HEAD!!!!!

[simple cliff]

No, I am not joking. Somewhere in the space marine lore is mentioned how they can ass blast out certain toxins and poisons.

[hard gorge]

terminus decree
"Ignore golden pussies, put big E back in chair"

[ebon bay]

I'm not saying he should fix everything, I'm saying that 'something' should probably change due to the return of what's essentially one of the sons of god

[hard gorge]

"but... why?"
"also HERESYYYYYY"

[acoustic pebble]

Fucking dies

[marsh iris]

https://klipy.com/gifs/poop-blast--k01KPWCKKN0GBT06AC6Q7TDKYY3

[hard gorge]

you have the psychic awakening (though that didnt go anywhere), the war of the 500 worlds, the indomitus crusade, and most notably the Primaris marines

things did happen

but the more things change, the more things stay the same

[ebon bay]

I should actually read things

[nimble glade]

Peak

[graceful hamlet]

Plus he has his elf waifu

[acoustic pebble]

Anyone wanna stab Commissar Dukane?

[hard gorge]

also the Ynnari got cucked big time and Yrvaine did a huge dick move to Ahriman

[hazy valley]

Is this why people say the Horus Heresy is bad?? They used that in battle???

[acoustic pebble]

Let's stab Dukane

[delicate vapor]

[hazy valley]

Space Marine approaching menacingly: "I'm going to shit yourself."

[ebon bay]

How is the elf still alive? Do they actually live for like 30,000 years?

[acoustic pebble]

I want to see Dukane shit herself when she sees my ten foot tall Mohawk

[simple cliff]

IT's not a weapon. It's just how the writers decided that was how their body was going to remove said toxins.

[ebon bay]

I don't know the lorrrre

[simple cliff]

BY SHITTING IT OUT AT HIGH SPEED!

[hard gorge]

Yvraine actually like, healed a rubric marine to show Ahriman she could and he was genuinely so overcome with emotion at being able to save his brothers that he agreed to let her go- then she just fucking killed his brothers and fucked off into the webway

[twin flower]

Yvraine hasn't been around that long i dont think

[hazy valley]

That's slightly better but also goofy

[graceful hamlet]

Ahriman is so peak

[acoustic pebble]

Honestly... based

[hard gorge]

I love Ahriman as a chaos marine too, i think a lot of Chaos Marines have really interesting motivations compared to a lot of imperium characters

[drowsy axle]

i mean the psychic awakening is actually both good and bad for the imperium since it means a lot more people awakened as psykers it also means a lot more people just summoned or get posessed by daemons

also the great rift really did change things up

[hard gorge]

Right, i think its pretty cool but they didnt do a lot with it

[graceful hamlet]

Ogryn psykers 🙏

[ebon bay]

I wish Warhammer Fantasy got as much attention as 40k. Then again, spesh marines sell more I guess.

[hard gorge]

besides the one female psychic ogryn that woulf write

[drowsy axle]

because now warp travel is even MORE fucking dubious

[hard gorge]

what about the Sigmarines? dont you want your Ground Marines?

[drowsy axle]

tbf fantasy was just a fantasy setting but grimdark 40k took that same premise and sent it to space

[hard gorge]

Fantasy is pretty cool though

[ebon bay]

What are the Sigmarines

[hard gorge]

oh its the joke term for the Sigmar golden guys

[acoustic pebble]

I just made a mistake

I took pills with beer

[twin flower]

lmao

[acoustic pebble]

Oh well, maybe see you guys never!

[twin flower]

take it easy shorkman

[ebon bay]

It's pretty far from a generic fantasy setting. On the surface it kind of looks like that, but dig in a little and it's pretty unique.

[drowsy axle]

it is but on the surface it's just LOTR but grimdark

[hard gorge]

BY SIGMAR! YOU'VE POSTED CRINGE! PREPARE TO BE JUDGED

[acoustic pebble]

Grabs the keys and goes ham in a school zone

[hard gorge]

im just waiting for 40k to get it's end times equivalent

[drowsy axle]

which is great! but most people judge by the cover

[ebon bay]

It's not even grimdark though?

[acoustic pebble]

You should fulfill your slayer oath NOW

[hard gorge]

maybe thats what the fall of cadia is for

[acoustic pebble]

I will remember you the most

[hard gorge]

TRUE

[twin flower]

[marsh iris]

cadia the fall guy

[hard gorge]

Cadeez nutz, guardsman

[acoustic pebble]

@brazen pelican is second

[hard gorge]

gets shot

[drowsy axle]

the theory is the emperor becoming the dark king is how the setting will end now.... not idea what'll happen with the tyranids but heyo

[ebon bay]

It's like, semi-dark fantasy, I guess? There's too much hope and good things in it for it to be grimdark though.

[acoustic pebble]

@visual vortex t is third

[graceful hamlet]

Dwarf gun lines are peak

[hard gorge]

Dark King or Star Child, it would be hella cool to see which one comes out

[ebon bay]

Also

The rats, rats, we are the rats

[hard gorge]

michael its your birthday today! Cake and ice cream are on it's way!

[somber stream]

Rat borgir

[drowsy axle]

alternatively they could use the skaven to tunnel into 40k and somehow smash the 2 settings together

[ripe tangle]

you mean the Imperium is 40k's Skaven?

yes you're right

[hard gorge]

TRUE

[tropic grove]

man this heresy diff are good, i got out with 205 diamantine

[ebon bay]

How is the Imperium the Skaven

[twin flower]

the Ratperium

[jaunty path]

grab knife and run around.

[twin flower]

humans are just everywhere

[somber stream]

Unlimited rodent supply

[tropic grove]

nah i go with pickaxe

[ripe tangle]

Fantasy's Empire being a diverse but hierarchal society that relies primarily on technology... and is considered young and limited in reach... the Empire is the Tau

just btw

[hard gorge]

theyre fucking everywhere
huge disregard for their own kind
half their weapons just fucking kill their users
they smell bad

[jaunty path]

Oh ur still playing ogyrn. just saying knife on zealot or whatever lets you do the mission quicker

[drowsy axle]

people usually go for the moral aspect and whatnot

[jaunty path]

prolly at the expense of ur teammates

[tropic grove]

yeah but i like playing ogryn sah

[marsh iris]

What weighs several tonnes, draws ratmen like flies, and sounds awful?
YOUR MOM!

[drowsy axle]

however the imperium is not nearly as funny as the funny rats

[ebon bay]

I guess, but even the worst of the Imperium typically doesn't come close to the ratz

[jaunty path]

throws a brick at you

[tropic grove]

also pickaxe is really op against crushers

[jaunty path]

mhm

[hard gorge]

weren't the hrud supposed to be space skaven like 5 editions ago too?

[somber stream]

Ever got fatshamed by your mom till you’re lean af?

[ripe tangle]

what if in the lower-lower-lower hive it's all just Ratmen

[ebon bay]

There can't be space skaven, that's what the tyranids are....kind of

[marsh iris]

never gotten fat tbh

[hard gorge]

i get the opposite, they tell me to eat a lot

all 5 moms

[tropic grove]

also orks just fit the role of the skaven on 40k doing dumb shenanigans

[somber stream]

5 moms

[delicate vapor]

cheesed to meet you

[ripe tangle]

yes, I'm also Asian.

[hard gorge]

my dad FUCKS

[gloomy tartan]

That exists in 40k?

[somber stream]

Likewise

[marsh iris]

i was a scrawny stick child

[ebon bay]

Also the space skaven would become the main threat, because they're just that dangerous. Imagine Skaven with warpships equipped with orbital bombardment

[tropic grove]

yeah its a planet named chogoris

[hard gorge]

i think they'd go toe to toe with necrons tbh

[ripe tangle]

Khan would like a word with you... oh wait... he's in Commoragh

[split mauve]

that's what happened in old fantasy

but with nukes

[somber stream]

Hope you’re in shape now

[ripe tangle]

that's just... the Imperium except rats

[gloomy tartan]

There’s someone named khan?

That’s cool

[marsh iris]

indeed i am

[hazy valley]

I mean it's not like the Imperium is known for eating their own || corpse starch || or using deadly amounts of bombs to destroy their own troops as well as long as they kill some of the enemy too || exterminatus || plus it's not like we have ever used the sewers to engage in a raid || Magistrati Oubliette TM8-707 ||

[ebon bay]

The humans can't breed as fast the skaven tho

[marsh iris]

army helped me gained some, im lean now

[somber stream]

I was a tiny bit chonky in middleschool

[ripe tangle]

on some planets they can!

[marsh iris]

dawww

[somber stream]

Mom would call me lovingly as “fatty”

Yeah no.

[hard gorge]

its why im making up the difference

[hazy valley]

We don't have anything in common with the skaven really

[hard gorge]

i have to fuck my way into saving my species

there is nothing but fluids and wet slapping sounds for my future

[ripe tangle]

remember, God wants you to procreate, he wants you to fuck!

[marsh iris]

we should start

[hard gorge]

BY THE POWER OF CHRIST
I THRUST

[hazy valley]

I get fucked enough by silent poxbursters I don't think there's room for anyone else right now

[ripe tangle]

okay, this made me laugh, oml

[ebon bay]

Dont' put that image in my head

[hard gorge]

ive taken so much jesus in my mouth i can taste a holy man a mile away

[drowsy axle]

also thunder hammer with the vostroyan armor on zealot goes hard

[hazy valley]

waitwaitwait I didn't mean like that

[gloomy tartan]

That’s a weird contest

Try to have more kids than a rat

[ripe tangle]

what if humans bred WITH skaven?

would they become supermen?

[delicate vapor]

[gloomy tartan]

🤮

[somber stream]

Rat-like mutants exist

[hearty glen]

God I fucking hate bulwarks

[gloomy tartan]

No they would become Mighty Mouse

Duh

[somber stream]

So i wouldn’t put it past them…

[ebon bay]

That depends. Are broodmothers still canon

[ripe tangle]

damn, you're right.

[ebon bay]

Or uh, ratmothers

[hard gorge]

god i hate fucking bulwarks

[gloomy tartan]

Hey guys what’s weirder

A mermaid or a reverse mermaid

Both are weird as hell

[hearty glen]

Reverse mermaid, isn't the whole point that they're basically a fish with human features

[hazy valley]

...is it cannibalism if you eat the fish half

[somber stream]

Fish with balls

[mystic fossil]

guys how fun is eviscerator

[marsh iris]

i thought its fish tail with human legs

[somber stream]

Steven chow made a movie about that

[gloomy tartan]

Reverse means fish above the hips human hips and everything else down

[hard gorge]

HELLA fun

my go to zealot weapon

[hearty glen]

I love heavy eviscerator, but specifically only with Martydom because it boosts dmg + attack speed. Funnest Zealot weapon imho

[ebon bay]

A mermaid is sexy, but reverse mermaid, you can actually 'have' sex with. So it's like a catch 22.

[hazy valley]

Very very fun

[hard gorge]

you just start swinging like a motherfucker

[gloomy tartan]

Mermaid is human top half fish bottom half so a reverse mermaid is the opposite

[hard gorge]

VROOM VROOM ZROOM ZROOM

[mystic fossil]

i was thinking of running piety

[hazy valley]

I haven't tried Relic Blade yet but Evis is my fav Zealot weapon so far

[hearty glen]

I LOVE IT SO MUCH EXACTLY, I FEEL LIKE A GODDAMN LAWNMOWER

[gloomy tartan]

Exactly when you get realistic about it both are kinda fucked up

[hearty glen]

If you're gonna run Eviscerator, run Martydom tbh

[marsh iris]

fishballs

[delicate vapor]

feel a bit rusty playing arbiter

[gloomy tartan]

I like how futurama did the joke about mermaids being like sea horses

Where dudes have the baby’s

[ebon bay]

Unless they have the cloaca

[gloomy tartan]

That was funny

[jaunty path]

arbitrator makes you worse

lmao

[delicate vapor]

ill promove

[gloomy tartan]

Pretty sure fish just bust into the water

[delicate vapor]

improve

trust

[gloomy tartan]

Like the girl fish lays eggs and the guy fish busts into the water over the eggs

Then they become baby fish

Over time lapse

[hard gorge]

if you think about it, the ocean has a non-zero percentage of splooge in it

[marsh iris]

[gloomy tartan]

I thought only birds had that shit

And reptiles

[hard gorge]

reptiles too

[gloomy tartan]

Yeah I know my ecology lol

[marsh iris]

people eat fish milt

(sperm sac)

[hard gorge]

ping everyone here with names related to birds and ask if they have a cloaca

[gloomy tartan]

Imagine kissing a mermaid and you get fish pregnant

[ebon bay]

No fish have them too

[hazy valley]

I think some species of male octopi rip off their not-tentacle and throw it at female octopi

[ebon bay]

Some of them

There are no minors in this server, right? I don't think I want them to read this.

[hazy valley]

I hope not

[delicate vapor]

[gloomy tartan]

🧜‍♀️❤️🏃‍♂️

🫃

Basically

[delicate vapor]

[gloomy tartan]

Y’all didn’t see that episode of futurama

Fry got a mermaid gf

[hazy valley]

Amy got Kip pregnant

[gloomy tartan]

She said he would be the one to have the kids

[twin flower]

Nah

[gloomy tartan]

He runs away

[jaunty path]

Animal biology, how traumatizing.

[gloomy tartan]

Yeah Atlanta sinks into the ocean

Becomes Atlantis

[ebon bay]

k goodk, just lookin out

[jaunty path]

yes this server has minors

[gloomy tartan]

That too

[hazy valley]

My guess is the average Darktide player is 20-30+ tbh

[gloomy tartan]

One of them was leelas kid lol

[hazy valley]

Including the discord community

[ebon bay]

I mean, we're also talking about fucking mermaids so.

[gloomy tartan]

Hey

[jaunty path]

lmao

[delicate vapor]

[gloomy tartan]

I just said what’s weirder

[twin flower]

Chris's fault

[gloomy tartan]

I also said wouldnt it be funny if they were like the futurama ones

[twin flower]

First the Turdaken, now this? For shame

[gloomy tartan]

In futurama mermaids are from Atlanta which sank into the ocean and the guys Cary the baby’s like sea horses

That’s objectively fucking hilarious

And I made a joke about kissing a mermaid and getting fish pregnant

I did not bring up banging the mermaids that’s on you guys

[hazy valley]

Ok but can someone do a Turducken but with lobster and crab and some other shellfish

I would be in heaven

[gloomy tartan]

So like shoving ocean bugs into ocean bugs

[hazy valley]

Yes let me eat bugs

[hard gorge]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[gloomy tartan]

I mean like crabs already eat there babys

[hard gorge]

MINORS LEAVE REEEEEEEEEE

[twin flower]

I had a relative that used like seafood and placed it inside a roasted pig

[jaunty path]

its a video game

[hazy valley]

Shrimps is bugs and I eat shrimps

[jaunty path]

a warhammer video game

[twin flower]

was still good tho

[gloomy tartan]

I feel like you should just stick crabs ontop of eachother bro

Like a tower

Tower of Babel

But Its just grabs

[twin flower]

tower of crabel

[gloomy tartan]

Yeah

Twin towers of crabel

[twin flower]

eyo

[true minnow]

Minors on discord are the discord devs favorite part, and a lot of popular discords admins

[twin flower]

Are you ok Chris

[gloomy tartan]

🛩️🦀🦀

I’m going thru it Mayn

[hazy valley]

So like I don't think minors should touch 40k tbh. This is not a child friendly IP. Dark Aeldar and Demonculabas exist. This is not a place for children even if it is just a video game

[gloomy tartan]

I miss cadia

:c

[twin flower]

I mean didn't discord started requiring to see id's for newer users anyway

[gloomy tartan]

She got the booty like 💥

[hard gorge]

sadly true

[hazy valley]

I think the ID thing is region dependent

Australia does it for sure

[hard gorge]

they should only play club penguin and hello kitty island adventure

[gloomy tartan]

Region dependeez 🥜

[twin flower]

Huh, I thought it was for discord users in general

[gloomy tartan]

🔥

[ebon bay]

Not to mention I don't want to moderate what I say for a bunch of kids. Stoopid little bitchs

[hard gorge]

isnt Australia really weird with petite women too? Like if you donthave massive badonkadonks the feds think youre a kid

[true minnow]

This is why parents shouldn't be able to raise kids anymore, make institutions where children are raised from infancy to full adulthood by the state

[delicate vapor]

yeah I cant be on my certain "sites" anymore without being told to take a pic of my ID

[hazy valley]

I think if I had a child I would let them play 40k games but with a lot of supervision on which ones

[gloomy tartan]

What

[hazy valley]

Darktide is fine I think?

[gloomy tartan]

What does this even mean

[hard gorge]

i would rather sterilize myself than let the feds raise my kids, theyre already trying to do it nowadays

[hazy valley]

But like 40k has a lot of things that are not safe for minors

[gloomy tartan]

They pressure you to get big tits?

[delicate vapor]

australia banned online gambing or lootboxes from roblox but still allows gambling in other places

[gloomy tartan]

Slavery

[ebon bay]

Well, they could, and probably would, play these games, but I don't think they should join online communities for them.

[lethal solstice]

Are we being deadass

[hazy valley]

I have no idea. I haven't heard of this. I just know an Aussie friend and have heard bits and pieces through him

[true minnow]

Given how little a lot of parents can keep track of their kids habits and what they are exposed to, I think it might be better that way

[hard gorge]

i was told by an australian friend like 7 years ago that all NSFW stuff might get censored if its a petite women unless you ve got massive bonkaridoos

[ebon bay]

It worked for the Spartans, or so I've been told ;d

[gloomy tartan]

Okay that’s very different

[twin flower]

Imo 40k hasn't felt all that grimdark unless you seek out like the older books and lore about it

[hard gorge]

then again she and I were like 15 so it could just be our very bad understanding of law

[delicate vapor]

I havent heard anything about this yet in my state (australian here )

[true minnow]

Honestly yeah, I don't need some dude in his mid 30s or 40s trying to share anime or furry porn with kids in discords under the guise of it being cute

[delicate vapor]

people get pulled over FOR other reasons besides that

[hard gorge]

I should get pulled over for having small honkahonkas (i am a male)

[ebon bay]

Just get them off discord bro

[delicate vapor]

or some other idk the feds question other stuff now like why do you own an e bike or e scooter

[lethal solstice]

So your proposed solution is instead to let the government have sole control over the care of children until adulthood
Do you know how insane that sounds

[gloomy tartan]

Ready for chimp con?

[languid hazel]

This is a horrible idea

[true minnow]

All children? Yeah I am down, how do you do it

[ebon bay]

It's not hard, I went my entire childhood without entering a single chatroom

[lethal solstice]

This is like

[gloomy tartan]

The children yearn for the mines

[lethal solstice]

The most totalitarian facist thing possible

[gloomy tartan]

Send the children to the mines

[true minnow]

Wahhh

[ebon bay]

Make the server 18+ and tell them to frig off

[twin flower]

Wild hot take

[hard gorge]

I would routinely pretend I was a 50 year old man online so i could read vidya game strategies

[true minnow]

Kids hate this one simple trick

[gloomy tartan]

Send the children to the mines to procure the needed materials for there new game station

[hard gorge]

THE CHILDREN YEARN FOR THE MINES

[gloomy tartan]

They yearn for the mines

[hazy valley]

Setting my age to 80 years old when I was only 8 thinking I was so smart

[gloomy tartan]

They really do

[true minnow]

SOMETHING JOCKEY

[hard gorge]

Just shoot pedophiles, its a simple solution

[ebon bay]

Well, it's not 'my' fault if their parents let them lie about their age.

[gloomy tartan]

Give a kid a shovel and they’ll start digging

[delicate vapor]

after being of age i still do that

[gloomy tartan]

They won’t even ask questions

[hard gorge]

you have NO idea
I loved digging holes at the beach as a kid

[gloomy tartan]

I loved digging as a child

[ebon bay]

You can't shoot the president

[hard gorge]

well we tried, obviously

[ebon bay]

Also edgy

[hard gorge]

man Goge Vandire'd the first bullet

[hazy valley]

Going to say I'm 200 years old and make them question if a ghost is browsing memes I guess

[delicate vapor]

no we just unlocked immortality

[gloomy tartan]

I wonder this bro

[hazy valley]

There are no vampires here, just mirrors that don't work

[gloomy tartan]

Like imagine registering for some site as a 200 year old

And they to “ this old guy really likes asses and anime”

[hard gorge]

200 terabytes of shitty meme channel slop directly to your brain each week but you get immortality. do you accept?

[gloomy tartan]

Immortality but your balls allways hurt

[hard gorge]

considering the guy who developed the best animation engine for skyrim sex mods is in his 70s its not implausible

[twin flower]

Im pretty sure no IT guy would think someone is actually 200 years old chris

[gloomy tartan]

Allways

[hazy valley]

I would accept without the immortality tbh

[lethal solstice]

In a heartbeat

[gloomy tartan]

What about 90

[hazy valley]

Make me the AdMech of memes

[drowsy axle]

excuse me?

[hard gorge]

the MEMEMESSIAH

[twin flower]

Plausible

[hazy valley]

YES

[languid hazel]

Democrussy

[hard gorge]

yeah the guy who developed... i think it was Nemesis? or the other engine? is like 74

[ebon bay]

I can't stand kids getting in my games. Fuck off kids, I want to talk about sex with elves.

[hazy valley]

I hope when I'm really old I'm still playing games like Darktide just so I can jumpscare dudes when they hear grandma telling them to move their ass

[hard gorge]

elves were MADE for orc c-

[gloomy tartan]

It’s just terabytes of hatsune miku and family guy fan drawings and fanfics and ass drawings

There all “ this old guys kinda based”

[hard gorge]

tau women were BUILT for human men

simple as

[gloomy tartan]

Explain

[delicate vapor]

[hard gorge]

big blue boobs

simple as

[delicate vapor]

i took 2 sips of my coke and saw that

[gloomy tartan]

Extrapolate

[hard gorge]

Blue Milkers

simple as

[gloomy tartan]

Expand

[hazy valley]

B...
Bloobs?

[hazy valley]

I'm sorry

[hard gorge]

BLUEBS

[gloomy tartan]

I said expand

That means continue explaining

[hard gorge]

AZURE BIG BOUNCY BAHONADONKAS

[delicate vapor]

[ebon bay]

Do Tau even have boobs?

[gloomy tartan]

Good point

They don’t have a nose

[hard gorge]

the ethereals dont want you to know this, but the tau women on the frontier worlds are free

i took 50 home

[twin flower]

[hazy valley]

Tau have mechs and that makes them more sexually attractive than anything they have on their bodies tbh

[ebon bay]

We need to ask Kitten.

[hard gorge]

my home is now round and disc shaped and is controlled by AI

[hard gorge]

TRUTH

[twin flower]

Tau Propaganda

[ebon bay]

The Tau is very boring and that's why nobody likes them

[delicate vapor]

need my own ai thats jarvis

[hazy valley]

I love their tech

[hard gorge]

they shoulda gone more into the alien federation aspect

[twin flower]

I like their mechas

[gloomy tartan]

Jarvis, shit my pants

[hazy valley]

Mechas are so so cool

[hard gorge]

Jarvis, scan that man's sack

[twin flower]

Jarvis, look up feet pics

[hard gorge]

Jarvis, beam 50 terabytes of big booty men into that man's neuralink

[gloomy tartan]

Jarvis play fuck tha police by NWA

[delicate vapor]

Jarvis, hack into some randoms bank account and steal half their savings

[ebon bay]

The art direction of the Tau looks like generic childrens action figures.

[gloomy tartan]

I don’t care that I’m in court Jarvis I want to show black panther this cool song

[hard gorge]

i like their pseudo-asian aesthetic and the gundam/macross inspiration

kinda sad their space navy isnt just gundam-esque

[hazy valley]

Weird question but would the AdMech take Tau tech

[delicate vapor]

FUCK i gotta pick up ANOTHER cat

[hazy valley]

Have they taken Tau tech before?

[hard gorge]

its horrible horrible heresy

no machine spirit AND AI?

[twin flower]

They'd be considered HereTeks prrolly

[ebon bay]

I literally couldn't figure out they were supposed to be asian/gundham inspired before being told about it directly.

[hazy valley]

Do they take necron tech?

Or is it no touching any alien tech ever

[hard gorge]

its the big plates on the one shoulder, as well as how its sorta layered like lamellar

similar to samurai stuff

[twin flower]

I they dislike Aliens in general, I dont see why they'd consider their tech as well

[ebon bay]

Yeah, I see that now, but that's like, one of the only design points there is that points to that.

[languid hazel]

The Imperium doesn’t want you to know this but felinids are free (to a good home). You can just take them :3

[twin flower]

ITs weird that some space mariens use alien weapons tho

[gloomy tartan]

As a cadian I hate aliens

[wooden creek]

I think there's a sanctified tau rifle in a Deathwatch codex

[hard gorge]

thats also true
the farsight novels do a pretty good job of it though

[gloomy tartan]

All the aliens

Fuck em

As a imperial

[hard gorge]

hella asian inspired

[gloomy tartan]

Dem dark elfs

[hard gorge]

im doing my best

[gloomy tartan]

But that’s strictly as a imperial you see

A N’wah spent some time in morrowind

[languid hazel]

Instructions misunderstood, pregnant with my seventh alien baby

[gloomy tartan]

Shit happens

[drowsy axle]

the tau are seemingly repeating the same mistakes of the humans before

[ebon bay]

I'd kind of like it if they were just the Confederacy from Starcraft but with aliens. I mean, they kind of are in some ways.\

[dire kayak]

they believe any xenos tech is tainted

which includes the t'au

so its tech heresy to reclaim it

[somber stream]

They gather xenos tech in secret to study

They even made a hellgun out of Necron tech

[hazy valley]

Wouldn't it just mean studying stolen tech then using that knowledge to make your own

And not using the tech directly

[ebon bay]

Also, yeah, half the time I literally forget they're supposed to be a confederacy of different species, because of how little that actually matters.

[delicate vapor]

[true minnow]

Is the most OP weapon for the vet the recon rifle?

[hazy valley]

Or is innovating based off of knowledge gained from Xenos also considered heresy

[twin flower]

inventing new stuff is basically just taboo for the admech or imperium in general as well

Only way to make 'new' stuff is finding old blueprints of something that already existed

[somber stream]

It's forbidden in public, no one to stop them from doing in secret though

[lethal solstice]

No
Not by a long shot

[jaunty path]

DT players smoke crack

[ebon bay]

I mean, that's like, what all of the radical Inquisitors do?

[hazy valley]

No and it's a mid tier weapon tbh but viable in Havocs so if you want to use it you can play it on any difficulty

[ebon bay]

So, yeah, I guess it depends

[delicate vapor]

Crack

[twin flower]

-# meth

[wooden creek]

Radical inquisitors can be radically different from each other

[hazy valley]

Best Vet weapon is probably Power Sword. For ranged Plasma or Helbore I think?

[twin flower]

Plasmas boring as hell tho

[ebon bay]

I mean, considering that Rogue Traders are allowed to form alliances with xenos, I don't think for 'every' faction in the Imperium it would be disallowed

[twin flower]

Wish more weapons just work

none of that meta stuff

[hazy valley]

I wish Plasma used charged shot more

It would be interesting if you got to see the Vet go "OH SHIT" and explode next to the Psyker who also goes "OH SHIT" and head pops at the same time

[wooden creek]

Learning from xenos is usually something the Xenos Hybris sect does, and they're primarily in just the calixis sector

[delicate vapor]

[twin flower]

Seeing the lines for a Psyker dying cuz of of mismanaged whateverthehell was funny

[ebon bay]

The Warp is OVERTAKING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[twin flower]

-# I forget what its called, I dont play psyker

[marsh iris]

HEAD EXPLODE!

-# not the one between the shoulders

[twin flower]

dang spark heads

[marsh iris]

sparkin' it

[gloomy tartan]

Do you think a crab could learn how to use a gun

They understand how to use knifes right ?

[twin flower]

no..

[gloomy tartan]

I’ve see Crabs use knifes

[hazy valley]

I think you could teach crows to use a gun

[somber stream]

They just grab the knife lol

[twin flower]

they just grab onto it Chris

[marsh iris]

kolibri mounted crab with a rat shooting it

[somber stream]

THey don't know how to use them

[twin flower]

doesnt mean they know how to use it

[gloomy tartan]

And they weld it bro

They swing it

Don’t try to deny the blade master crabs their skill

[hazy valley]

I mean if you duct tape a knife to a roomba you have the same level of knife expertise as your most skilled knife crab

[ebon bay]

An octopus could learn how to use a gun

[somber stream]

Claymore mine strapped on a Roomba

[quaint moss]

teach a gobbo to gun, they'll waaaag for life

[hazy valley]

They're not really using the knife they're just walking at you menacingly with it and if you get stabbed it was on accident

[gloomy tartan]

No the crab planned it

They swing it at you

Give them slashing knifes

Not stab ones

[hazy valley]

The crab can plan to be my dinner too

[marsh iris]

reminded me of a crab slaughtering factory, some science fiction torture horror

[hazy valley]

I need seafood so bad

[twin flower]

Boiled Crab 😋

[ebon bay]

Those crabs are already dead though

I believe

[somber stream]

#zealot-class message
What you're looking at here is advanced warfare

[gloomy tartan]

You say this but watch you fall in love with a crab alien 9 seasons from now when we make contact with the universal coalition of booth or something

Then you’ll feel bad for the crab st red lobster

[twin flower]

truly devastating

[gloomy tartan]

I fuckint hope so

[twin flower]

Are... are you referencing Oliver from Invincible

[marsh iris]

idk it looks gnarly

[gloomy tartan]

Exoskeleton fucker

[delicate vapor]

Attach a claymore to a drone

[ebon bay]

Are you talking about the assemly line video where they strip them down and break them apart piece by piece? If so then, yeah, they're already dead before they get strapped to the line.

[gloomy tartan]

Bro fuckint idiots come on bro

[hazy valley]

I think they're cute too. I will still eat them

[gloomy tartan]

Create a bird that shits out explosives

[somber stream]

Next product in line: Anti-tank roomba

[gloomy tartan]

DUHHHHH

[hazy valley]

If we had 8 foot tall crabs I would eat 8 foot tall crabs

[gloomy tartan]

it’s a bird drone

But it poops ieds

🧠

That’s what your all trying to come up with

[hazy valley]

If it was sentient and capable of speech no but I would think about how tasty they would be

[twin flower]

Makin me want seafood now

[gloomy tartan]

I saved you 20 billion dollars

[twin flower]

Oughta buy some at the market tomorrow

[gloomy tartan]

What if it had a Jamaican accent

Tried to get you to sing

[twin flower]

I need sustenance

[somber stream]

The universe is sending you a signal

[hazy valley]

Can I be a reverse mermaid in this hypothetical too

[twin flower]

time for lunch

[gloomy tartan]

Why don’t you buy a live lobster

[somber stream]

It said: "Singaporean crab sauce"

[ebon bay]

I've imagined what people would taste like. Never comitted to the idea but still...you know?

[gloomy tartan]

Just grow it

Like bro

You can do that

You could make crabzilla

You could be some 90 year old with a crav the size of a cow

[ebon bay]

So yeah, if crabs were sapient, I would still wonder what they taste like

[gloomy tartan]

People pay tickets to visit you

[marsh iris]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNKHB1vugnk
crabs commoragh

[gloomy tartan]

You can become crab Joe

[hazy valley]

I haven't. Some horror stuff I've read calls humans "long pork" and I grew up watching lots of zombie media but I've never actually wondered what humans tasted like or cared

[gloomy tartan]

It’s called long pig

Described similar to pork

So if you like pork

[hazy valley]

Why eat humans? Crabs are already here

[gloomy tartan]

Crab moms eat fistfuls of their babies

[somber stream]

Crabnocide...

[gloomy tartan]

They look so fucking brutal when they do it

They stare into the cameras

[hazy valley]

Yeah and I will too if I get my hands on any of them

[gloomy tartan]

On baby’s?

[hazy valley]

Crabs yes

[gloomy tartan]

That’s like 0 nutrition lmao

[marsh iris]

"Remove the legs from the worthless crabs"

[gloomy tartan]

Don’t people like big crabs

[somber stream]

“This technology was built entirely by a group of lobster racists”

[gloomy tartan]

I thought you wanted to eat big crabs

Since it’s so much work to reach the meat

[ebon bay]

They're already dead tho

[hazy valley]

Yes but surely someone is out there cooking baby crabs too

[ebon bay]

Thankfully

[gloomy tartan]

No im talking about a live crab mom eating fistfuls of her baby’s as they flee her lmao

Crabs do this regularly lmao

[somber stream]

The industrial revolution and its consequences, total crab disintegration

[ebon bay]

"Fuck them kids." -Crab mom.

[gloomy tartan]

It’s a crab ear crab world

[hazy valley]

Crabs are just the ocean's garbage disposal. They're water chickens. They will eat literally anything they can find that they think is food including each other

[gloomy tartan]

Yo

You know when there eyes pop out

That shits scary

But also amusing

[ebon bay]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrEr9Z0LUtA

It eats chip

[hazy valley]

I think them cleaning their eyes and making bubbles out of their mouths looks adorable

[molten matrix]

Crab

[delicate vapor]

We eating crabs

[delicate vapor]

YOU

[gloomy tartan]

Some crabs make sand bubbles

[hazy valley]

Is it weird to find something cute and also think it is tasty

[marsh iris]

maybe this is how corpse starch would be made?

[gloomy tartan]

To eat the food

[somber stream]

You mfs made r/crab appeared on my feed

[gloomy tartan]

Yes go to jail

[marsh iris]

limp corpses get cut to pieces

[molten matrix]

🦀 🦀 🦀

[ebon bay]

I mean, have you ever seen a pig? Much less a baby pig?

[gloomy tartan]

what you doing on R/crab Licht?

[hazy valley]

Damn ok but can I have some crab before I go to jail

[gloomy tartan]

What you doing?

[delicate vapor]

[somber stream]

https://www.reddit.com/r/crab/comments/1sq3hwu/ravioli/
Behold

[low copper]

If they do it to much they get exterminated, they don’t form alliances so much as being allowed to keep some pets, Rogue Traders in general are pretty fringe Imperials often on the literal fringe anyway

[gloomy tartan]

Space crab

Best pet

Crab the size of a horse

It eats mangos and virgins

[ebon bay]

I would never be able to work at even a humane meat ranch.

[hazy valley]

For one beautiful moment I thought it was crab stuffed ravioli and not someone's pet

[jaunty path]

I think I really need to get out and get something because I think my head is imploding.

[ebon bay]

Killing the animal you spend a lot of time raising. I guess that's why farmers refuse to pet the animals, so they don't get attatched

[gloomy tartan]

Aw he’s doing his best poor little guy

[ebon bay]

Take some ibuprofen and lay down?

[gloomy tartan]

Try crabs

[marsh iris]

the moment when you eat ravioli but theres a pet tag "Clawwey" inside

[somber stream]

IT'S A SHE

[gloomy tartan]

Try getting crabs

[jaunty path]

No its a mental thing.

[gloomy tartan]

🦀

[jaunty path]

and crabs are expensive.

[gloomy tartan]

Sending you crabs for support

🦀 🦀 🦀

[jaunty path]

Is like

[gloomy tartan]

Sending you support crabs

[hazy valley]

Putting names on food wouldn't work on me. I'd look for my name like I'm browsing coke cans

[gloomy tartan]

She’s perfect

[marsh iris]

[jaunty path]

anyone elses mental state tied to things like their hunger

[hazy valley]

Yes

[ebon bay]

I mean, if you need to go offline, then do that?

[gloomy tartan]

Cravs are fun

Coconut crabs are scary

[formal mortar]

That's quite a normal thing

[hazy valley]

My mental state is absolutely tied to my hunger and I need to go get something to eat

[gloomy tartan]

Spider crabs are cool but scary

They so long

[marsh iris]

i heard coconut crabs taste like ass

[gloomy tartan]

So damn long

[somber stream]

Crabtacular

[ebon bay]

My mental headaches are tied to my hunger

[gloomy tartan]

They eat anything they can and eat seagulls

[ebon bay]

Because if I don't eat I get a migraine.

[gloomy tartan]

Seagulls and coconuts and floor debris probaly tastes like shit

[somber stream]

Time to check my daily horoscope

[hazy valley]

I'm going to scream because because it's 11 pm and there's no way anywhere around me is open and serving crab

[gloomy tartan]

So I imagine that’s why coconut crabs don’t taste great

[hazy valley]

I've heard they eat pilots too

[gloomy tartan]

Just grab a crav

Go to the beach

Grab a crab

Just do it

[formal mortar]

Imagine having a beach

[hazy valley]

I'm in Cali right now

[gloomy tartan]

Adapt

[hazy valley]

I could do it

[gloomy tartan]

Over Uke

You could

Get out of my state

Eat crab somewhere else

Unless you down with cadia

[hazy valley]

I will after I finish wearing cat ears

This is very important

[formal mortar]

Cadia is pebbles

[gloomy tartan]

You don’t need to be in Cali to wear cat ears

[ebon bay]

Why do you have to wear cat ears

[gloomy tartan]

I hope you know this

[delicate vapor]

you have to be in new jersey for it

[somber stream]

@little marten Apr 23, 2026 - If you feel like you're trying to push a square peg into a round hole, you're probably right, Cancer. Whether you're having personal or professional difficulties, there are times when it just doesn't pay to try so hard. In fact, it's often a sign that there is something fundamentally wrong with the relationship. Try to take more of a philosophical attitude, Cancer. If it's meant to work, it will.

[formal mortar]

Just get crab while wearing cat ears

[hazy valley]

I'm attending FFXIV Fanfest soon and going to the convention in full cosplay

[gloomy tartan]

Oh neat

[somber stream]

Time to pack it up and call it in for today Crab bros

[gloomy tartan]

Crabro

Sounds like a Pokémon

Crabro is a friendly Pokémon allways found with his bros

[somber stream]

The brotherhood of cancer individuals

[marsh iris]

where you going

[formal mortar]

Oh, you are cosplaying the average ff14 noob

[gloomy tartan]

He has dated views about the workplace but a heart of gold

Crabro

[hazy valley]

I don't think I could eat a crab in the Pokémon world. I know they eat the Pokémon but they're just too cute

[somber stream]

Nowhere lmao

[ebon bay]

I didn't know there were catgirls in there? but I never played

[gloomy tartan]

Cloud in a dress best cosplay

[hazy valley]

Nah I had a custom costume made for me

[marsh iris]

♋

[gloomy tartan]

Cloud in a dress is funny

[ebon bay]

The dance around them eating pokemon in canon for some reason

[formal mortar]

If its a cat person in ff14 it is noob

[hazy valley]

Yeah! Lots and probably the most played race

[jaunty path]

ok yeah like im super irriatiable when im hungry yeah. and like. mind starts screaming and being upset about something

[gloomy tartan]

Missus would you put down your cat person gf if they broke up with you

[hazy valley]

But I don't want to Fantasia to an Au Ra

[gloomy tartan]

Is that the part of cat people that is appealing

That you can put them down at the vet

[ebon bay]

Which is weird, because they 'didn't' dance around people having romantic relationships with pokemon in that one line of dialogue, so I don't know why they would dance around people eating them

[formal mortar]

I get somewhat easier to irritate when im hungry but i have good control. My gf on the other hand has full breakdowns if she doesnt get food

[somber stream]

☕

[gloomy tartan]

🕳️

[hazy valley]

Isn't there literally an ice cream pokemon

And they have SPOONS IN THEM

[gloomy tartan]

Bro gen 1 had Pokémon that killed kids

[jaunty path]

@somber stream whats the name of that robot again

[ebon bay]

Yeah, but they never 'show' them being killed, prepared, or cooked, so

[somber stream]

Which one

[gloomy tartan]

They showed normal cows existing and normal birds existing and normal bugs existing in generation 1 of the Pokémon show

[marsh iris]

food calms people down so cute

[hazy valley]

Alakazam should be feared by that ice cream pokemon

[gloomy tartan]

French fries are my comfort food

[formal mortar]

Gotta be a Roegadyn or Viera

[marsh iris]

Angry noises
shove food in face
rabid nibbling