transdome

[magic verge]

my T dose is getting doubled bc my T is low </3

never beating the soyboy allegations..

[uneven latch]

i don't wanna

[quartz parrot]

wtf leave some for us..../j

misha ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) my T dose is getting doubled bc my T is low </3

[elder saffron]

I've been going pretty good

[loud ridge]

do you ever have that one good day where you wake up and completely forget about your assigned gender

[frosty sky]

my ass do not give af about my assigned gender at birth

(i refuse to listen)

I refuse to believe

(i freed myself so easily)

my physical body is just a medium that i possessed and assimilated over the years now.

[magic verge]

real

i'm a little piece of software that was implanted into the wetware that is my body and now i'm doing mods on myself cuz i'm cool like that

i'm at the point in my transition where being misgendered tends to make me more confused than upset

[frosty sky]

Never live life as a stock vehicle.

For sure

https://tenor.com/view/homura-hair-flip-homura-akemi-akemi-homura-puella-magi-madoka-magica-gif-2942356856689607685

Normalize assuming people by their preferred gender. (it works very effective lul)

[magic verge]

yeah maybe it's because i like exclusively hang out with other trans ppl that i forget that cis folks usually have weird conceptions of what a girl or boy looks like

[frosty sky]

They do not know...

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/riddler-paul-dano-new-rockstars-thumbnail-does-he-know-he-doesnt-know-gif-27552850

[loud ridge]

Wait did I say something wrong

[frosty sky]

No not at all

(im yapping)

[quartz parrot]

this is machine girl lyrics i swear

PsychoWarrior Kouhai ᢉ𐭩 ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) (i freed myself so easily)

[loud ridge]

I like this dome

[frosty sky]

oh no...

i have the song writing skills of machine girl

[left rivet]

Yeah and with my friends too, im so used to seeing my friends one way that when i hear them get misgendered in public all i feel is confusion, like what hoops did you jump through to decide they are a boy or girl?

[pure wigeon]

Hey I just thought about how I would be if I was born a girl (since I'm transfem maybe), and I realized I still wouldn't be content with that gender experience

Does that mean I'm really agender?

(I may be agender)

I still like being called she and everything

But I still haven't discovered myself

[empty goblet]

life is constant discovery and constant change. perception of yourself can change over time. gender identity can fluctuate

i think what is most important is just being kind, loving and accepting to yourself no matter where you're at :)

[pure wigeon]

I was gonna say something like that but I'll remind myself

[pure wigeon]

Yayay yes I lovr myself when I love myself

I love myself when I hate myself too

[empty goblet]

for myself, i also in the past have identified with agender in the gender being a memetic construct way but i also identify most strongly with femininity

[pure wigeon]

I feel very similar sometimes

I don't want a gender

When I think about it

But I too want to be femanine

[frosty sky]

I got a method that works every time

Identify as a gender in the binary/nonbinary, but then make that gender also identify as whatever you want >:3

but since this stuff is VERY about you, make your own method

that must work every time.

you set it and forget it

kinda way

[magic verge]

sooo true this is what i did with being a boy

today is my shot day woo

but yes transness is just like pick whatever language exists that makes you happiest and assign your own meaning to it. and if the language doesnt exist then make it yourself

i love 2 talk to other trans folks abt their expression and how they experience their gender or lack thereof

[loud ridge]

I think I might be transmasc

[magic verge]

if that's the case, welcome to the club friend

[broken prism]

I don’t know if i want to be transmasc because I want to be a man or if I don’t like the gender binary

Because I feel like if I was born male I would want to be a female

It’s weird

i might be agender but want to be masc-presenting

[magic verge]

i also feel like in a theoretical world where i was assigned the opposite gender i would still be trans, just in the opposite direction

i am agender (technically bigender. but one of the genders is agender. don't ask me how this works) and transmasc so yeah 😋

[broken prism]

If you’re bigender and one of the genders is agender, does this mean your other gender is at 50% opacity?/j

[magic verge]

exaaaactly

[broken prism]

Maybe that’s how I feel about my gender…
I’m kind of a guy but not?

[magic verge]

the way i've described it is like

i'm a guy in the way that a... boy doll is a boy... where like. yeah that thing is gendered but it technically has no sense of gender because it's a thing

i refer to myself as a "man" to make things easier to understand for cis folk. but interpersonally i don't really consider myself a man. boy is the word i like more for some reason

i will also call myself a thing or an entity lol

[broken prism]

I feel like for me “guy” and “dude” feels better when referring to me than “man” (mainly because i’m a minor and I’m not quite old enough to be a “man”, also “man” feels too masculine for me)

[magic verge]

gotcha gotcha

that makes sense

[broken prism]

I think for me gender feels more like a “role” i’m playing than what I’m really feeling inside, because I do like acting more like a guy despite my personal identity not being associated with gender

A “performative male” in the sense that the “male” part is a performance but a role I prefer

-# i can’t believe i just called myself a performative male

-# but trust me it’s not in the “pick-me” sense but in the “role-playing” sense

[magic verge]

aklsjdljkgjg no i totally understand

masculinity and femininity are funny things to play with

you can be none gender left dude

putting none pizza left beef here for those who have not been enlightened

[grand hearth]

I’m transmasc nonbinary ^_^ it’s like whatever, I don’t consider myself a man I’m a man-thing

[golden plover]

Hey, expression isn't always about gender, expess yourself as femenine, no matter your gender.

Gender and styles such as "femenine" are in it's core labels. Just that the gender label is self-applied.

[grand hearth]

forbidden third

[magic verge]

manthing 🤝 boything

[grand hearth]

I think we should kill whoever came up with the concept of performative males/being performative in general with hammers

(Kidding but also not really)

[broken prism]

manthing 🤝 boything🤝little guy

[grand hearth]

like I see ppl online calling artsy shit performative now

like my guy……performance is art…I think you know not of what you speak…

tangential but yes

[magic verge]

there are a lot of words i think should be like. taken away from the general population and put up on a shelf until they know what that word means

insert any pop psychology shit here

[grand hearth]

putting the thesaurus on the high shelf until they get tall enough to reach

[winter comet]

i find the performative male thing kind of funny In Small Doses bc there are definitely cishet dudes that are putting on airs but people throw that word around so bad it feels anti intellectual lol

like "ermmm any kind of earnest expression and trying to get into a scene or read certain types of literature is performative actually only irony poisoning and judgement allowed"

also someone can be weird and you just. don't like them
it doesn't mean they're faking their style or expression

[golden plover]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=jtkZ8qpXpyI

I like Kurtis' final take on this

[winter comet]

people using "trauma bond" as meaning two people bonding bc of trauma and not the actual definition

[golden plover]

A part of this "performative male" thing is labeling every non-masculine man as something bad, discouraging men to learn about stuff like femenism.

It's pushing patriatical ideologies, it makes uneducated men proud because they are uneducated.

He compares it to "Metrosexual", where men with decently healthy lifestyles got labeled.

[magic verge]

oh yep. yep. people using "narcissist"/"sociopath"/"psychopath"/"schizo"/etc. colloquially too as pejoratives

and by narcissist i mean the act of armchair diagnosing someone with npd because you don't like them or they're shitty

when somebody equates or ties morality to mental illness i'm just like 🤨

speaking as somebody who probably has multiple heavily stigmatized disorders

anyway, i just got home and have obtained my testosterone

[wooden echo]

Wait I don't mean to be a dipshit but what does it mean actually, I've never heard that term before

[magic verge]

it refers to being bonded to somebody who's causing you trauma, in the context of abusive relationships

[wooden echo]

PH

[magic verge]

yep yep

[wooden echo]

You're telling me people don't know what non pizza w left beef means anymore..

[broken prism]

Wait… PEOPLE DON’T KNOW NONE PIZZA LEFT BEEF?

[frosty sky]

You might be an Egg

[frosty sky]

It's like a metaphor for when a trans person either does not realize or accept their trans identity yet

With coming to terms to it or realizing it, that action is called breaking the egg.

https://gif.fxtwitter.com/tweet_video/G2p5VHaXcAEj5zC.gif

I am so. sorry.

[quartz parrot]

why is kouhai talking to the air.../lhj

[scenic falcon]

yea like, who was broette talking to?

[elder saffron]

Hyper. They delete their messages due to their situation

[true elm]

Is there one song that isn’t transgender

I think they all are

[wooden echo]

Fuck Puppet

[quartz parrot]

ohh i get it

Luma (HRT-Void Synthesizer) ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) Hyper. They delete their messages due to their situation

[frosty sky]

Hyper turned into a ghost..... UWAAAAAAA....

i must purge

the chat

[solid oasis]

I once had someone say that we trauma bonded n I thought they were implying I was a major abuser then they saw the definition and was like oh shit no

It was a rly fuckin bad misunderstanding cus I carried guilt with me for awhile bcs of it

Old close friend of mine

[solid oasis]

Same br and it kinda sucks because you want to have this label to explain ur behavior better or hope people are knowledgeable and respectful of said illnesses but usually they are nott..

At the same time I don’t like some labels for that very reason due to the stigma they’ve earned from mass misunderstanding, idk, i have a lot of mixed thoughts on this stuff

[dull raft]

this is exactly why for a while i didnt think i had bpd

im not entirely sure that i do but i certainly have plenty of bpd symptoms and ive been through a lot

[quartz parrot]

okay only somewhat related but why is every piece of did rep in media so ASS

forgive my language but still

[dull raft]

real

theyre either really mysterious or evil

theyre never just someone with did

[magic verge]

the disorder has been glamorized/sensationalized since its inception

[dull raft]

"having bpd means youre EVIL and you love to see people SUFFER and youre mean ON PURPOSE!!!"

[magic verge]

referring specifically to DID here btw. like the field of psychology constantly argues whether or not it's even real. i think the majority of people don't understand that it's a byproduct of complex trauma

[dull raft]

oh sorry im lowk like half awake rn lmao

nut yeah i agree

dont let those ppl know about osdd their minds will explode

[magic verge]

i also have mixed feelings on this especially as i've been learning more about anti-psych/mad liberation, there are certain labels that i identify with because they're the easiest way for me to explain certain symptoms but like. at the end of the day all psychological disorders are groupings of symptoms. if you talk to two different psychs they might diagnose you with entirely different things (that is if they're willing to even diagnose you in the first place)

this is without going into cultural differences in psychology etc. (e.g. certain disorders only existing in certain cultures)

[pure wigeon]

Who dat

hm

So I got a shag and it looks way too boyish for my liking

<_>

bl3

Hm

Hey any transgirls here who

Um

[elder saffron]

gotta get that wolfcut

[pure wigeon]

Like wear shorts often

But have long leg hair

?

[pure wigeon]

nah

I'm gonna get a ratail

Wish me luck

[elder saffron]

rip

[pure wigeon]

no actually

ACTUALLY IM JUST GONNA LEAVE IT FOR LIKE A YEAR

[elder saffron]

But uh what about shorts and leg hair?

[pure wigeon]

Are there any

Transgirls here

That wear shorts often

And have a lot of leg hair

/long leg hair

[elder saffron]

I rarely wear shorts

Baggy pants and long skirt gang

[pure wigeon]

I wish I could wear skirts

[magic verge]

this does piss me off though lmao. cluster b gang who out here getting accused of being ontologically evil for (looks at notes) having maladaptive coping mechanisms for complex trauma

[pure wigeon]

oke tismam

One time I had my jacket around my waist and saw my shadow which looked like me

But with a skirt on

It gave me some euphoria

[elder saffron]

Are you not able to be out openly/privately?

[pure wigeon]

Uhmmmmmmmmmm

Maybe

[quartz parrot]

heh
we have that 🥹

xleepy/basil ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) dont let those ppl know about osdd their minds will explode

[pure wigeon]

I might be able to come out to to to to my my my parents

...

....*

,,..,,..

[elder saffron]

My #1 tip is to make sure youre safe and can be safe before doing so

[pure wigeon]

aikys

Thanks

[pure wigeon]

That means okay

[dull raft]

yeahh 💔💔

[pure wigeon]

What if ai killed itself

Like really doe

Like really doe

[dull raft]

ive heard of the terms quiet bpd/discouraged bpd/high functioning bpd

i feel like those describe me best

[pure wigeon]

Also what's bpd?

[magic verge]

borderline personality disorder

[dull raft]

borderline personality disorder

[quartz parrot]

borderline personality disorder

[pure wigeon]

Borderline

[dull raft]

lmfao

[pure wigeon]

Like

Rio grande

[magic verge]

ok everyone let's take turns saying borderline personality disorder <3

[elder saffron]

Everyone responding at once killed me lmao

[pure wigeon]

What does

Does

What

[dull raft]

its hard to explain

[pure wigeon]

Does it meean

Is it hard to explain?

I mean to someone else

Explain

[dull raft]

u experience ur sense of self differently and u also cope differently

[quartz parrot]

we used to think we had bpd

[pure wigeon]

that's mays bes hards tos explains

[magic verge]

typically if you have bpd you rely on others to establish a sense of self/have an unstable sense of self/experience dissociation/have volatile emotions

that's the diet description

[dull raft]

abandonment issues and splitting (thinking in 100% good or 100% bad, no in between) are also very very common

[quartz parrot]

yeah the unstable sense of self was what made us think

[magic verge]

oh yeah the black and white thinking

[dull raft]

i know who i am but i struggle a LOT with abandonment issues and splitting

and anger issues

[magic verge]

there are a lot of anecdotes of women being misdiagnosed with BPD turning out to have autism

[dull raft]

for a while though i did have identity/personality issues

[pure wigeon]

aoki

[dull raft]

interesting

[magic verge]

though i would imagine that extends to like.. really anyone affected by misogyny

[elder saffron]

This kinda makes me think about when my therapist told me what I was dealing with was DPDR

[pure wigeon]

should I ask

[quartz parrot]

whats dodr

[pure wigeon]

Oh oki

[quartz parrot]

dpdr***

[magic verge]

depersonalization/derealization

[pure wigeon]

Oh cool

I mean that you knew that

[dull raft]

i struggled with that a bit for a while too, i think

[elder saffron]

Trauma I dealt with boiling over to a point that is caused a lot of stuff later on into my adult life

[dull raft]

for a while i felt like i was just in a vessel rather than my own body

[magic verge]

yum dissociation

that was most of high school for me lawl

[quartz parrot]

ohg

misha ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) depersonalization/derealization

[dull raft]

when i looked into the mirror my face didnt match who i thought i was

[magic verge]

for a long time i would instinctively just avoid looking at the mirror because it would make me dissociate

[elder saffron]

She taught me stuff to help with it and I did get better, but if I dont take care of my mental health I can feel it creep up on me if that makes sense

[magic verge]

oh yeah

[dull raft]

i totally get this

[quartz parrot]

bro we get that all the time
tho it tends to line up with whos fronting
its always weird tho because its like
"i look like that???????"

xleepy/basil ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) when i looked into the mirror my face didnt match who i thought i was

[pure wigeon]

i think i can understand why you'd you'd feel that

[pure wigeon]

i think about things like appearence kind of

Um

[dull raft]

yeahhh i dont remember half of sophomore year and most of junior year because of it

[pure wigeon]

Objectivly

[dull raft]

i can imagine lol

[pure wigeon]

I mean I do not concern myself with how I should look or anyhtingsh

[magic verge]

i was.. toying with the idea of a plural dome.. am a system but i don't really like talking about it much lol

[dull raft]

it must feel weird to have someone other than the host fronting only to see the hosts face when they look in the mirror

[magic verge]

i'm stuck in front like 80% of the time but otherwise if it's someone else they do instinctively avoid the mirror

dissociation is a weird thing

[quartz parrot]

WE SHOULD

misha ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) i was.. toying with the idea of a plural dome.. am a system but i don't really like talking about it…

[magic verge]

bet

[dull raft]

i dont think i have did/osdd but i do have a strange fragmented sense of self in a way

[magic verge]

i'll make that when i get a chance (or you can if you'd like)

[dull raft]

i talk to different "parts" of myself and i refer to myself as "we" sometimes in my thoughts

but its all still me

its weird

im being possessed by myself 😭

[magic verge]

there's stuff like internal family systems that encourages you to visualize your emotions or parts of your psyche as thoughts

basically like.. everyone has parts, technically. but systems have parts that are way more distinct

[quartz parrot]

i mean you could do like. a deep dive into your past and try to pinpoint why you feel that way, thats how we realized

[dull raft]

ohh i see

[magic verge]

there's also some people who describe themselves as "median" systems who have less distinct parts

whatever language works best for you really

i figured out i was a system quite late, when i was in uni. i think being in an environment free of trauma was very confusing for my brain 💀

[dull raft]

kinda hard to do that tbh. most of my childhood has been repressed due to trauma and so i rely on what others have said about it to know what it was like

[quartz parrot]

heh
we realized a couple months ago

misha ↩️

[Reply to:](#1025645033325608970 message) i figured out i was a system quite late, when i was in uni. i think being in an environment free of …

[dull raft]

its super weird to be in a safe space lol

[magic verge]

literally

[quartz parrot]

we had an extended history of quite explicitly thinking like the bad things happens to someone else at times and feeling gery connected to it other times

[dull raft]

when i was on vacation with my other half it was so. gentle

[magic verge]

ooh yeah i get that. i also have emotional amnesia

[dull raft]

i was constantly bracing for impact when there wasnt gonna be an impact

[magic verge]

the hypervigilance when there's nothing to be hypervigilant about

[dull raft]

i get that omg

[dull raft]

yeahh

back to the whole talking to different parts of myself thing, i also have others in there if that makes sense ???

its only my other half though

[quartz parrot]

also is it just me or is the concept of headspace super awkward to explain to others

like yeah theres a space in my brain where me and all the other alters can talk to eachother

[dull raft]

its not me at all, but they still exist in my mind

they react to things and comfort me in the way my other half would

[dull raft]

maybe im just too woke(/silly) cuz i can completely understand that

[quartz parrot]

basil i think you should consider the possibility of being plural🥱

[dull raft]

mayhaps

[magic verge]

BECOME PLURAL NOW /j

[dull raft]

(/silly is being used as a tone indicator here btw lol)

[quartz parrot]

should i make pluraldome real

[magic verge]

id be in there

[quartz parrot]

okay gimme one second

[dull raft]

AHH I CAN FEEL MY SENSE OF SELF GOING THROUGH MITOSIS

[quartz parrot]

#1437586679434055852

mueheheh

[winter comet]

late but as an autistic person i definitely do not have a united sense of self or a strong tether to my body
i don't think i have any dissociative identity things going on, i think in my case it is very much the autism and the fact that i'm an abuse survivor

sometimes i'll be walking amd immediately question how and when i started to walk

[magic verge]

relatable i barely have a handle on how my body works 😭

the dyspraxia doesn't help.

[winter comet]

it genuinely feels weird to consider the fact i have autonomy and am a person

[magic verge]

real

[winter comet]

also yeah the dyspraxia sure does Not help

got me fumblin with shit

[magic verge]

i love to fling things out of my hands completely unintentionally

and bumping into corners and walls 💖

but yeah if i think too much about myself and my own existence i blue screen

[runic fable]

Anyone else feel like this owl sometimes

[magic verge]

yeah

[runic fable]

Type shit 😢✌️

[dull raft]

me

[scenic falcon]

This owl is how I feel after a night of no sleep

[loud ridge]

Yea

I love how the weather is getting colder

And so I can wear hoodies now

[quartz parrot]

our dad threw a fit because we wore a tie to the big formal assembly today

and he said "you wouldnt understand" when we confronted him about why he even cares

[magic verge]

bro?

[grand hearth]

I’ve had a weird sense of this ever since I was very little and I have often wondered if it’s an autism thing

just that weird feeling of, “I’m in the body of this person and I’m in this point of view but why am I me and not anyone else”

kinda tangential maybe but yeah

[magic verge]

i think it's an autism thing yeah but i also have existential ocd so when i was little i'd become very hyperaware of my own existence as a brain in a body and then i'd ruminate over it for hours on end 😭

[grand hearth]

lmaooo real

[magic verge]

normal child activities.

[left rivet]

Same

And wondering how my consciousness is attached to my body

Its so weird

Or like

[frosty sky]

oh hi chat

[left rivet]

Is my consciousness really me or is it just a thing that exists

[frosty sky]

Existance is weird ngl

but Also interesting

[left rivet]

It sounds dumb on text but its so confusing to think about

[magic verge]

consciousness in and of itself is a weird topic too but we don't need to get into all that 😭

[frosty sky]

What about Unconsciousness

[magic verge]

um that's when you go honk shoo

[frosty sky]

Lul

Hate having that when im trying to watch something late at night

(Like MNF yesterday)

[broken prism]

I often have this feeling too, however I never considered to be an autism thing until now
I thought I was just a deeply philosophical person 😭

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/futanari-power-futanari-power-gif-21565846

[solid oasis]

https://tenor.com/view/jon-arbuckle-nermal-trash-can-the-garfield-show-gif-9365086984229579073

[quartz parrot]

it be like that

[solid oasis]

indeed

[frosty sky]

Realshit

[elder saffron]

No matter how many times I still can't get used to having my blood drawn

[frosty sky]

Last time i got one i was eight

got dismissed from school and sent right back lmao

[elder saffron]

I have to have them every 3 months

[winter comet]

hrt is hell for people who hate needles even if the hormones themselves aren't administered via injection

i have no problem with needles luckily but most of my friends fucking hate em

[frosty sky]

I hear there are pills

[winter comet]

you still have to be around needles even if you take oral estrogen or topical testosterone bc they have to take blood to make sure your levels are good

and some people on t need blood drawn because testosterone can make you have too much red blood cells

so needles are an inevitable part of hormonal transition

[frosty sky]

argh bloodworks

[winter comet]

shout out systems

@grand hearth

[grand hearth]

I’m just too good at making blood I fear

[frosty sky]

lemme do summme research

[frosty sky]

Me Two

[winter comet]

blood for the blood draw

[grand hearth]

It’s ok tho you can donate blood and maybe get a snoopy shirt sometimes

[winter comet]

is hrt a negligible factor in blood donation

[grand hearth]

yeah

[frosty sky]

god dang it

[winter comet]

i heard some people have been asked if they were on hrt before donating

[frosty sky]

i'd have to do bloodworks

[winter comet]

yes

[frosty sky]

Fuck it i ball it

i like bleeding

a bit

[grand hearth]

the past few times they don’t care even when I had to explain that what was on my file was my deadname lmao

[winter comet]

it's important to know all the processes and effects of hrt and unfortunately it includes being poked routinely

my husband said he would do my t shots but warned me he has injured himself before and i was like idc just don't give me an embolism and we cool

[frosty sky]

Hope the doctor or whoever gives the shots knows accuracy

i look at my arm rn

i got big veins

(i have a big pulse)

[misty harness]

oh god i hate bloodwork. if i see a needle go in me i pass out

ive gotten it done quarterly for almost four years now bc hrt and i still hate it lol

[winter comet]

necessary evil

my husband wasn't even able to dodge needles when on t bc gel and patches gave him allergic reactions

warning to the needle adverse tmascs

even if you can afford the co-pay and your insurance actually covers it if you have sensitive skin pray gel or patch doesn't irritate it lol

we were joking to my sister in law about how she was lucky that she can take oral estrogen whereas we are largely stuck w needles bc it's the most accessible way

[elder saffron]

I just turn my head the moment I know its about to happen. Like Im so unfazed by injecting myself but I still cant get over the needles used to draw blood 😵‍💫

[balmy pond]

It's different when it's like... your blood coming out of your vein in a tube or some shit

[elder saffron]

My blood.... draining into a vial....like a fortress of some kind for the blood

[jagged quiver]

wtf give it back 🥺

thats MINE wtf...

[elder saffron]

[winter comet]

it makes me laugh bc of how cartoonish it looks and i dont wanna freak the phlebotomists out

[molten kite]

Starting to wonder if my doctor was wrong to drop my spiro from 200mg to 100mg per day

Because 3 months in my T was rock bottom and she said it'd be fine given she was upping my dose of e anyway
but now with the dosage halved it feels like things are moving slower

[next harbor]

Most endos will aim for getting you change as gradually and slowly as possible. That's one of the cons of not DYIing it from what I understand

It's like yoga! Ur body, in theory, went thru a very slow and gradual change as u grew up, yk?

So it makes sense for ppl to ignore our werewolf nature and elongate our suffering

Does your doctor have a patient portal? I have messaged my endo this way!

[molten kite]

im considering messaging her but she said we're going to check back with a blood test in 3 months and if my T has gone up then we're going back to full dosage on Spiro

She just thinks I might be able to go with a lower dose and reduce the risk of brain fog and other problems associated with spiro

Which for the record I've heard a lot about from my friends who are much later in their transition, one of my friends even told me to get off spiro as soon as possible just because you don't realize how much it fucks up your brain

[misty harness]

many prople can suppress T with only estrogen (like me! i never took spiro or anything)

[bronze ocean]

200mg is kind of a crazy dosage of spiro ngl

[solid oasis]

I just look away when they do it and I’m usually fine

Afterwards I’ll look after it’s in but man it’s such a weird feeling

At least there’s no serious way they can actually mess up iirc

Alsooo I sort of developed a fear of needles after taking t for awhile?? Spoiler for err idk needle/accident talk ||I’ve been clumsy a few times and from the pullback of using too much force (idk how to explain) from taking the cover off of the needles I have to work with, I’ve jabbed myself at nasty angles a few times. Blood everywhere. Nerve damage||

Dumb shit

||I rly need like safer needles or something but I dunno what to look forrrr||

I’ve been off of it for awhile bcs of medical insurance mishaps but yeaaa I need a plan for when I restart

I do like that my voice is still deep tho despite it being many months (this doesn’t change)

Nor facial hair

Idk

I’m rambling (:

[next harbor]

We love trans ramblings

[winter comet]

T autoinjectors

[next harbor]

upset that as trans ppl it's probably only a thing we could make for ourselves

[magic verge]

i actually ordered an autoinjector last night

you can alternatively be prescribed xyosted which comes in prefilled single-use autoinjectors, not sure if every insurance covers it but mine does

[next harbor]

Wait!! I forgot!! That's the cool one my endo tried to get me but insurance apparently won't give it unless I have an allergic reaction ugh

[golden plover]

Something about "if your insurance covers it" is just sad.

I say this as a Swede that can can get any prescribed medicine, because we don't need to rely on health insurance

[magic verge]

yes i don't need to be reminded that i live in a late stage capitalist hellscape where health is a privilege 😭

[next harbor]

health? More like wealth

[magic verge]

yeah i've heard of insurance companies that will even deny you topical testosterone unless you have some sort of reason to be unable to get injections :/ thankfully i haven't had to deal with that

so asinine

[next harbor]

T_T yes hey that's also me lmao. I get the bare minimum and I guess it's okay but if I'm away from my partner, I don't get a dose lol and that's not ideal

sweet, sweet cypionate

I can't deal with ||needles|| tho I pass tf out and have for my whole life. I've been on it for nearly two years now so if anyone needs a light in their darkness, we can get there I promise!! :)

[golden plover]

Btw, about fems here.

Does anyone have experience with the gel?

They said that the estrogen pill can cause liver problems and that the ||injection||(I also dislike ||needles||) is innefficent yet dangerous due to the sudden jump in hormone levels and non-constant levels.

So they usually give out the gel/patches here in Sweden, but they can do the other if needed.

.

How is the gel or patches?

[magic verge]

disclaimer i'm transmasc but from what i've read injections are way more bioavailable than oral estrogen? if needles are intolerable for you though then disregard

[grand hearth]

yeah in general injected things have greater bioavailability than other forms

[bronze ocean]

the idea that injectable estrogen would be inefficient is so laughably wrong its kind of ridiculous

but wrt gel i know one person who uses it and shes doing alright on it and patches i honestly dont know the levels are usually fine but theres a bunch of other annoying things like if it will adhere well, if you dont react to the glue used

and for sone people topical just doesnt really work

[golden plover]

It's that it drops in levels and thus get too low after a while, but too high in the start periods from what they said, since you don't take it daily to reset the cycle. They want a fairly consistent level.

[bronze ocean]

its incredibly consistent though

if you just take it on schedule

[golden plover]

They talked about patches if you can't wait for it to dry.

Because the hormones are absorbed through skin it can get on other people and creatures if you don't wait.

Otherwise I believe gel is easier for people.

[bronze ocean]

ohh yeah its like an hour

if you apply it to your inner thighs or just wear long sleeves its not that big of a deal

[winter comet]

the rule of thumb for topical hrt is to put it where people are unlikely to touch you through daily incidental contact

under clothing

i said this just recently but my husband wasn't able to do topical t because the levels worked great for him but his skin is very sensitive so it gave him rashes

theres an old vial of t still in his kit

he has been off t for like 3 years now and didnt even know he had that vial so on top of those three years it's hella expired

[elder saffron]

I've used patches when I DIYd and tbh I hated them, they would start to wear off from the sides and I could never get them to stay on for the length of time you needed them for. Gel was my favorite over pills, but the recommended place for the best bio availability was to apply it uh...down there if you get what I mean lmao but it seemed to work pretty well for me and it dries out in a few minutes. But I gotta say the notion that pills can harm your liver is wild to me...like the risk about it passing through your living is tied to the small increase in blood clotting which is really overblown if you're healthy your risk is that of a cis woman. Not to mention you do lose some E from passing through the liver too. Injections are the literal best since you have a consistent availability, and you also avoid passing through the liver too. You will have a peak and then a slow drop yes, but taking injections like you should will keep everything stable

[golden plover]

Huh, they recommended applying to the underarms

As it got thinner skin and thus absorb better

[elder saffron]

To my understanding its been recommended to avoid the underarms because having gel near or coming into contact with your breast tissue can increase the risk for breast cancer

Of course this stuff is what I learned from having to DIY until I was able to have an Endo and get on injections

But uh yeah the claim that injections are bad is really wild to me and leaves me to question their training

Obviously if that Endo is your only option I can understand but I would honestly recommend finding someone that's competent if you can

[bronze ocean]

(european) [trans] health care is generally done by people who are at best incompetent and at worst outright malicious tbh

[elder saffron]

https://youtu.be/FafY1PuX_9U I feel like I am obligated to share this here to help get the word out.

[loud ridge]

Legit happy cried earlier because one of my friends called me a they

[elder saffron]

Hell yeah!

[loud ridge]

Over a few months time, I’m gaining more confidence in myself and my looks. 7 months ago I refused to go out in public under any circumstances . And now I walk outside for fun.

[elder saffron]

You should be very proud of yourself

[misty harness]

ive not used gel but i find patches more consistent than sublingual as long as im careful to apply it properly AND remember to wear clothes that won't rub against it too much.

[golden plover]

How long do you keep the patch on?

Does the adhesive irritate the skin?

[frosty sky]

Look how much you glowed up ^_^

With me last year to early this year i was so insecure with my looks until i got dreadlocks

[candid ore]

i know theyre talking about e patches but iirc for t patches at least you keep it on all day ish

[misty harness]

i change mine twice a week, tuesday morning and friday evening. you keep them on the whole time. there's also weekly patches

[frosty sky]

E Patches are Real!?

why am i learning so much information here 0_0 i thought i was educated

[bronze ocean]

theyve been real for decades

[misty harness]

they're more expensive than doing sublingual in the states unfortunately

[bronze ocean]

i feel like pretty much anything will be more expensive than pills simply cause theyre so easy to mass produce tho

[frosty sky]

foreal

[golden plover]

Oooo, I gotta talk to them about weekly patches! (It is a bit in the future tho tbf)

Tho, do the patches get dirty after wearing them for a week or half a week?

I guess they hold longer than plasters(some call them bandaids, that's a brand name btw), but that's my only real point of preference that I got.

[frosty sky]

Would they be the same as Lidocaine Patches?

[golden plover]

Idk, that's why I'm asking the questions

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/madoka-magica-cry-pmmm-homura-homura-akemi-gif-10068262

[loud ridge]

Hello kohai

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/madoka-kaname-madoka-magica-madoka-gif-26530771

haiai

[golden plover]

Didn't mean to be mean

[frosty sky]

Its not you i promise ^_^

[elder saffron]

Madoka fans ‼️

[frosty sky]

魔法少女まどかマギカ

[real meadow]

took my t shot while listening to psychowarrior. loki wanted some

[frosty sky]

Which song were u on? (im hoping rabbit season cuz its the only psychowarrior song that I believe is about drugs lol)

[frosty sky]

Coming to earth is roulette basically

Mixed with Intense RNG

[real meadow]

psychowar

[frosty sky]

my favorite

https://tenor.com/view/komi-komi-san-gif-24745015

[digital tiger]

Might steal this idea when I finally start whenever that is 🥹🥹 this is so fucking epic

[loud ridge]

that’s awesome

[valid sun]

im starting to get more and more inconsistent with my shots as the years go on 😵‍💫 next year will be 7 yrs and ive considered intramuscular shots but i just dont like shots in my legs period. anyone else who has been on HRT for a long time had this happen? had a friend switch from shots to gel at year 4 but i do not want gel

inconsistent as in every 8-10 days instead of every week doing subq

[grand hearth]

2 years but I’m still doing subcu. I don’t think I ever ever want to do IM

[grand hearth]

Is the inconsistency in keeping up with the shots a result of feeling like you’ve plateaued in your transition, do you think?

[valid sun]

nope, nothing to do with the transition itself, i guess moreso it feels like a mental hassle to prepare for the shot

[grand hearth]

valid

[valid sun]

also it hurts more now than it used to due to scar tissue

[grand hearth]

yeah usually I miss it by a day. just get tired

oh? Where do you usually inject?

[valid sun]

i change corners near my stomach every week

[grand hearth]

ah gotcha. I know there are other subcu spots but

Maybe you can switch to those for a bit? I know there are some scarring creams, maybe using that for a bit while taking a break from your stomach altogether would help

[valid sun]

didn't know people did subq in other shots

spots*

yea scarring cream might help

[grand hearth]

yeah j don’t think they’re as preferred but they, exist lol

[valid sun]

its kind of inevitable because of the length of time even when switching every week

[grand hearth]

Examples

I would avoid buttocks altogether personally due to the superior gluteal nerve being around that spot even if the needle is probably too short but I think the others could be done

[valid sun]

hmm okay

ill consider that then thanks

[grand hearth]

🤝

[valid sun]

i just got my t levels to be consistently above 450 so i really need to be consistent lol

the lower levels didn't slow anything down but i think the levels would just fluctuate on the lower doses

although i started as a teen so at the time the dose made sense

[grand hearth]

yeah I think I like. Can always tell I might have missed a day if I get breakthrough spotting. TMI but yyeeah I think my hormones fluctuate a lot if I don’t be careful

[valid sun]

oh ya i havent had anything since i started even spotting thankfully but i know a lot of people so

do*

i get cramps when im late lol

[grand hearth]

Having menstruation of any kind is mostly nonexistent now for me thankfully

I’m always cramping for one reason or another in some part of my body so I don’t always put 2 and 2 together lmfao

[valid sun]

ya i think the demon has too thick lining inside so cramping huets more than it used to as far as i remember

[grand hearth]

gonna do my own hysterectomy wolverine style smh

[valid sun]

theyre so expensive for no reason lol

i know i could probably get one seeing as though my old PCP coded a lot of appointments as pelvic pain so they could just bring those up as justification

[grand hearth]

I’m broke af rn there’s no way I’m gonna even plan for surgery lmfaooo

[valid sun]

i can at least feasibly afford top surgery with my insurance cause ACA subsidies lol

well theyre shittier now but ya know

surgeon in my state does a flat rate of $7950 for everything without insurance but he takes mine

and no drains

[grand hearth]

I bounce between wanting top surgery and wanting to leave em be

On one hand im kinda indifferent to them but on the other………..fibromyalgia shoulder and back pain from binding

Surgery scary tho

I’ve had a few but none this…life changing?

[valid sun]

oh yea i mean surgery is scary af lol

it should be scary

thats nornal

normal*

i was indifferent for awhile then my dad suggested i think about QoL without having to bind especially now that i DJ late into the night and i go clubbing so often i have to wear my "lazy binder"

i dont even really need to because im stealth 100% but its better if i do cause i aint small lol

[grand hearth]

good dad

[valid sun]

yea hes tha best

mom too but she just wants to make sure i pay the least amount of money possible for it lol

[grand hearth]

yeah I’m not small either lol. Sucks. Sometimes I get away with it with hoodies or big enough shirts tho. The chest anxiety classic

[valid sun]

yeah i used to be a hoodie guy when i was a teen

😭

now i have to wear shorts and t shirts

i live in the swamp anyways but im just not a fan of long sleeves (sensory thing also i like to see my furry arms)

which also

i have hair in every part of my body now and havent shaved for 5 yrs and idek how id shave my fucking shoulders and shit lol

[grand hearth]

I fucking hate this weather!!!!! I lived more up north growing up. I’m waiting for the cold like a parched wanderer in the desert

[valid sun]

how do guys do that

[grand hearth]

YEAH

[valid sun]

i see my moms used to that cause shes from pittsburgh lol

[grand hearth]

I think the day I decided to just stop shaving entirely was one of the best decisions I made

[grand hearth]

I’m living in Kansas rn I hate it lol

it’s so HOT

[valid sun]

she was born in salina lol

[grand hearth]

AND FOR WHAT

OH SHIT?

[valid sun]

youre lowkey fucked

[grand hearth]

That’s so close to where I live lol

Insane

[valid sun]

😭 😭

shes worldwide i guess

[grand hearth]

Mrs. Worldwide

[valid sun]

farthest ive been that way is oklahoma

i live south of houston

[grand hearth]

Aw shit

[valid sun]

on an island 🏝️

so

it be 100 degrees in July

[grand hearth]

I think the thing that gets me is the humidity cuz I sweat

[valid sun]

used to live in dallas itd snow every now and then

[valid sun]

yea and then the hrt makes you sweat worse lol

[grand hearth]

I’ve gotten the worst acne of my life since I transed my gender

No regrets but lordy

Yes 😭

I think now that my levels have evened out I’ve adjusted but now I visibly break out if I’m going through stress (which is often)

[valid sun]

i wish

im starting to lose hair when i stress

lol

[grand hearth]

Noohojjooohoooooo

[valid sun]

i just started minoxidil

i have a lot its just a little recession

[grand hearth]

I’ve gotten quite a few white hairs

[valid sun]

but still

[grand hearth]

Yeahhh

[valid sun]

i havent gotten one yet but my left foot now hurts when im stressed

high blood pressure

[grand hearth]

Ah shit

[valid sun]

my HCT is elevated due to testosterone

otherwise i have normal blood pressure but the stress and thicker blood is the issue

i have to donate it

[grand hearth]

Same brother I go donate whenever I’m allowed lol otherwise they give me phlebotomy

[valid sun]

bpom

boom

twinning

[grand hearth]

Sometimes I get free shirts out of it <3 last time I went a lil syncopal tho 😵‍💫

[valid sun]

bruh the last time i donated the power went out mid donation

[grand hearth]

Didn’t eat/drink enough

NOOOOOOO LMFAO

[valid sun]

they had to throw my blood bag away

😭 😭 😭

[grand hearth]

that’s so sad oml

[valid sun]

i was so dizzy cause i was stressed they were like arebu good

im like yyyyeaghhhh

free shirts are lit

[grand hearth]

Oh god it was kinda funny. She started asking me orienting questions (what’s your name? What’s the date? Where are you right now) and I was struggling to remember the fucking date as I was starting to black out because I could only remember it was a Friday 💀

[valid sun]

LOL thats terrible

[grand hearth]

like girl you can ask me that when I’m lucid and I still won’t be able to tell you lmfao

[valid sun]

it was at my college for me

like i had class in an hour

[grand hearth]

Oh god

[valid sun]

and i have to drive an hr to school

i was lowkey pissed

like damn

[grand hearth]

Goddamn

[valid sun]

at least the blood is out of my system tho 🤷‍♂️

[grand hearth]

there we go lmfao

I feel bad having to go in for phlebotomies when it gets too much between donations because I know they can’t donate it

I asked her and she was like “yeahhh we have to throw this out sadly” and I was like oh ok 🥲

[valid sun]

ikr

at least it's out tho i know how u feel

im gonna go back 2 doordashing

[grand hearth]

Godspeed 🫡 🫡

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/felkissity-felicityfuta-wave-wave-hello-hi-gif-15396843391523409849

[left rivet]

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1277654331553746955/1412787580390604903/ehhehee_heee_heee_heeheheheeeeee.gif

Hi trans dome

[grand hearth]

Bork

[elder saffron]

Bjork

[grand hearth]

https://tenor.com/view/livingintheh-bjork-björk-gif-24345573

[elder saffron]

XD I love that omg

Me with my cat when I'm having a mental breakdown

[true elm]

My English instructor celebrated this trans visibility week by grading my essay I wrote about the civil rights movement a horrible grade because I dared to say minorities should practice self defense

And I know it’s not valid because I walked him through every source made an annotated bibliography and everything all perfect scores

My thesis statement got a perfect score

But suddenly in the essay my thesis statement (has not changed a letter) is confusing

Also please do note that this was a first draft and I was graded on the overall quality of my essay maybe I’m crazy but in my time first drafts were for criticism and to make sure the final draft was at least somewhat decent

I actually haven’t been that filled with rage ever I was legitimately shaking

[inland schooner]

Consider nebido/ undecanoate? Long form T, every 3 months / 12 weeks amd in the ass or shoulder. I get mine done at my doctors and book another session w them at the time so I don't forget

[valid sun]

insurance doesn't cover it i think it cost like $2500 per injection plus no doctor in my network prescribes it unfortunately

[inland schooner]

Jesus christ alright fair

Mine is 37$ out of pocket (australian)

[valid sun]

it's under the brand "aveed"

oh ya makes sense

not common in the US at all lol

[inland schooner]

Mines reandron and w/o Medicare it's like 110$ at most

Thats so dumb, it's so helpful though ;; maybe consider different injection sites?

I've never done subq but also I did IM for about a year and never had any issues

[valid sun]

yeah im moving a little further away from where i was doing it for my stomach and gonna see how that goes

i just dont like thigh injections for anything

most people i know who do nebido are in europe or aus

only FDA approved version of it is aveed iirc

i pay $10 for 4 months of testosterone cypionate

nebido would be great because i do a lot of travelling and want to do extended stay international travel to places that have more restrictions on foreign brought medication ie. parts of west/north africa but we still ball

[inland schooner]

Eh, doesn't the FDA also approve red40. It's ok. How dumb it's so pricey, istg it isn't even that much

[inland schooner]

I used to do illegally and had enthanate for like 80$ AUD (like 50 usd?) And that was a full year supply cuz it was 10ml vials

[valid sun]

oh ya not saying its valid but ya know

[inland schooner]

Exactly!! It's really handy for that. I might be moving countries next year so it'll be handy while I sort out their insurance and finding a doc

[valid sun]

my insurance is pretty good but im on obamacare (ACA) and was eligible for enhanced subsidies but they decided not to extend it (thats why the gov was shut down lol) so now i have to pay like i think $160 instead of $14/month for insurance

which sucks because its a really good plan even for that price comparatively but its a huge pinch in the ass even though i can technically still afford it lol

its because the deductible is so low ($450) so it helps when i have to pay for blood labs i usually hit my deductible within 2 lab visits

i just got a $1900 for a full panel and paid like $180 for it because i hit my deductible

[inland schooner]

Here all medicate is covered by taxes to my understanding but private health is like 140$/mo and it covers jack shit

[valid sun]

yea it be like that

a ton of bronze/silver plans are dogshit

$5000 deductible my ass

[inland schooner]

I still don't know what a deductible is tbh here shit is covered by Medicare or u pay full price

I..e, i paid full price for top surgery, 15k down the drain + 2k revision

😢

Fortunate to be in the position where I can do that tho

My insurance would of covered the hospital stay (like 2k) if I had that level of cover but didn't and u need to be w them 4 a year (basically 2k anyways + waiting)

[inland schooner]

Here it covers like. 2 dental check-ups and some of my physio apps 😭

[valid sun]

deductible is how much u pay until coinsurance kicks in. so i pay all my bills (what isnt covered by insurance) until it kicks in and then i only have to pay like 20% of the bills afterwards

[inland schooner]

I still can't believe ur government shut down cuz evil democrats. America is a joke

[inland schooner]

I'd be paying for random shit like getting teeth check ins

[valid sun]

lol we dont get dental insurance its consider separate i pay $99 for a "dental plan" (not insurance) that essentially just gives me 2 free appointments and 30% off procedures

[inland schooner]

Deductible hit new top surgery 😈

[inland schooner]

That's p good tho lowkey

[valid sun]

yea until u need a root canal

then youre paying $900 instead of $1400

rather not pay more than $300 for a procedure

i paid $200 to get a filling this yr which was worth it TBH saved me a lot of pain but i need another in the same area i think they said its gonna be like $150

thats not bad

just anything to prevent a root canal

altho i have a lot of gum recession (idk why)

never needed braces and this is my 3rd cavity ever

maybe from brushing too hard thats how most people get gum recession

[inland schooner]

I'm gonna be honest i had to go to podiatry and it cost me 300$ to get ingrown removed even w insurance this shitbis wack. Insurance wack everywhere. Why can't being healthy be free

[valid sun]

ya ikr

[inland schooner]

I got my wisdom teeth growing in so I'm worried about that if I need to get em removed 😭 I dunno costs of anything

[valid sun]

that costs hella money here but you might be okay

mine r also growing but theyre likely gonna grow in straight

[inland schooner]

I fear for if I need one lowkey but I'm a freak and like going to the dentist

[inland schooner]

LOL get a softer toothbrush

[valid sun]

the dentist sucks only bc i be choking on the fucking shit they put in ur mouth

[inland schooner]

Yay

[valid sun]

yeaaa i know i got to

[misty harness]

this year i had to pay $800 each for my wife and i to get a root canals, and that's not even with the crown included 😔

[valid sun]

uoouhghh

[misty harness]

and i have "good" insurance

[valid sun]

did you use care credit

[inland schooner]

Milo much love but r u 5 (joking)

[valid sun]

i fear it might be the only way for me

[inland schooner]

I wamt a crown

[valid sun]

my gag reflex SUCKS BALLS

[inland schooner]

But, 2k

😔

[misty harness]

no i have an hsa but i already burnt through it on medication for us 😭

[valid sun]

and apparently i produce more saliva than usual

[inland schooner]

My mum said when I transitioned I don't need one because men don't need to be pretty

(Or have good teeth ig)

[inland schooner]

LMFAO

[valid sun]

same i get the feeling (was for my car tho she needed rear breaks)

[inland schooner]

Body when more water: more mucus :)

[valid sun]

(and 2 tires popped)

tell my body to stop

i will lowkey do anything for that car

my beautiful 2021 ford escape i bought at 22k miles and put so much fucking money down on

fafsa #blessup

funny bc i put all the money down and had like 1k left in savings and now a year later i am in a situation where i have a lil over 1k left in savings

adulting sucks

at least im overemployed

tbh work insurance is way worse than my ACA plan

so

[inland schooner]

Me cuz my back tyres had to be replaced (got them good and cheap tho cuz my neighbour (ex mechanic) called around)

[valid sun]

nice

i love that shit

i was 4 and a half hrs from home at my boyfriends house and had to be back home in 3 days for work and all the dealership had in stock was like $300 tires

😔

and no tire shop nearby had my rim size

like wtf

they even had to order them at the dealership

[inland schooner]

Oh hell yeah. I got a lil manual Mazda 2 I've dented in the side 😅 but she's my sweetbaby and I love her

[valid sun]

manualsssssss

dying breed

[inland schooner]

Oh my god

[valid sun]

my partner drives a toyota 4runner

[inland schooner]

That's fucking evil

[valid sun]

ikr

[inland schooner]

Omg legendary, i love toyotas!! Similar but offtopic, whenever I think of American cars I think of big rams amd trucks

Whenever there r imported big trucks I'm like 1. Australian roads r not built for that shit, 2. Wtf do u even need it for

[valid sun]

FUCK ram trucks

those fucking lifted truck headasses with LED lights

i live in texas so they are the commonplace

[inland schooner]

She's so fun to drive!! Annoying uphill, but for a 2011 gal she's running great

[valid sun]

2011 and in good shape thats great

mines in good shape im very adament about keeping it repaired

[inland schooner]

America, the land of unregulation

[inland schooner]

She's got a few issues appearance wise, but internally to my understanding she's good for her age. Her clutch is a bit short though and took a bit getting used to. My dads got a car only 1 year older and not doing well 😔

[true elm]

I got some of those! Sadly I am paying them unlike most medical bills because my family wants to use that provider and it’s not the most expensive thing ever

[inland schooner]

Literally hilarious btw. I'm pretty sure here stuff like that is illegal to a degree

[valid sun]

it SHOULD be illegal

they USED to be iirc

[inland schooner]

This was kinda out of mothered but I'm thinking of a video I saw about aus vs ame gun laws and the govenor mentioned pool fencing laws, to which, we also have very strictly regulated

[inland schooner]

Why do yoy need to see the internals of a deer. Who is this useful for

[valid sun]

idek it makes driving at night miserable

i dread driving on long stretches of rural road for hours at a time (i do this pretty often, not on rural roads anymore) i just opt for interstate highways

[inland schooner]

LEDs headlights are evil

[valid sun]

i travel cross country a lot just more like vertically lol

i hate them

[inland schooner]

Your boyfriend living 4 hours away is criminal and also like. You guys drive for so long. I guess here its quite similar, my sisters fiances mother regularly drives up from Sydney, (16-21 hr trip iirc?)

[valid sun]

yea it is criminal lol

we live in the same state on 2 separate islands

the US is just huge

and no trains or w/e here so cars are your only option

the drive is really scenic in the day though which is something

also damn yeah driving in aus would lowkey be hell

shits so hot

[bronze ocean]

yooo

knuffeldier XXL

[final heart]

Morning trans

[chrome snow]

They're coming after IKEA for the trans market.

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/blahaj-shonk-attack-camera-dive-shark-gif-14344361424253681658

[chrome snow]

SHARK MISSILE

:3333

[frosty sky]

SHARK ATTACK

[solid oasis]

i think about it often

[frosty sky]

Meth is blue?!

https://tenor.com/view/k11p-gif-8995276754114321574

[magic verge]

meth is blue in breaking bad, yes

[solid oasis]

pured meths

well i mean the whole schtick is "oh mr whites meths is so pure wow its blue bcs its so pure"

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/rynali-femboy-cross-dress-cosplay-catboy-gif-25403056

[chrome snow]

AWWWWWWWWWWW

I WISH I WAS HER

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/puella-magi-madoka-magica-gif-6082858

[solid oasis]

i feel recognized

[grand hearth]

me when I graduate

[candid ore]

i keep forgetting to book my hrt consultation bc i have to phone in with my mom help

i also have to make an oil change appointment i should just do both at the same time

[swift spruce]

i used to have debilitating call anxiety

i eventually pushed thru but i know not everyone can

i hope you can get ur appointments booked

[winter comet]

honestly having health problems and constantly scheduling appointments helped me a lot but thats just me

i didnt give myself time bc i kept putting it off i just called

[swift spruce]

same

[grand hearth]

Good morning yall, it’s Transgender Day of Remembrance today. Much love to y’all and the siblings we’ve lost.

[golden plover]

Suprise trans flag loading bar on the application "Warp"

[runic fable]

Tiktok is intentionally attempting to use cia psycho weapons to destroy me via these ads i get about this comic about a guy who gets turned into a girl via like a potion or whatever and i know this because after all of these ads i immediately think “hey i could use that potion” and then i cry because it’s fiction

Watch out fellow transgender people, tiktok is trying to destroy our brains

[swift spruce]

i don't use tiktok thankfully...

i will watch out anyway

the vibes are shifting...

[runic fable]

Watch out, sister

[elder saffron]

Are you talking about that webtoons ad?

Cause if so I keep getting one that's like "would you switch genders to become and idol????"

[swift spruce]

you as well. stay safe ✊

[runic fable]

Yes

[loud ridge]

Hello trans dome

my teacher started calling me Aerys. All of my friends call me that and now she’s calling me that too

[runic fable]

Hello frutiger aero

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/aerys-targaryen-burn-them-all-got-game-of-thrones-mad-king-gif-11689404

(I searched up Aerys in gifs)

[loud ridge]

Yes that guy

[swift spruce]

does this make you happy?

i hope so!

[loud ridge]

Very

[swift spruce]

yay yippee

[mossy thicket]

I've been planning on coming out to my dad for so long and I really wanna tell him when we're alone together. But every time I have the courage to do it something else comes up and I don't wanna stress my dad even more out

Mom is jobless, he's stressing over home renovations, has it busy at work

I've told him I wanna have a father son day (except he doesn't know I'm his son), and I wanna tell him on that day but I feel like it would maybe ruin it

He knows that something is up with me but I don't think he fully grasps how serious I am

I have no idea how I'm gonna do this

Whether I should just drop the bomb at the dinner table, do it in private, or something else idk

I WANT to tell him at the end of our father son day but I'm so scared it'll ruin the whole day

Or if I do it in the middle of it that the rest of the day is just awkward and tense

[swift spruce]

i agonized over telling my father

[mossy thicket]

Advice is appreciated but I mostly just wanted to get this off my chest here

[swift spruce]

i hope things go well for you

[mossy thicket]

I hope so too

I love my dad, he's like a big role model for

Me

He's like inspiration for who I wanna be

[swift spruce]

i get that

[mossy thicket]

So it's just so nerve-wracking

[swift spruce]

ironically my dad is probably my biggest inspiration in some aspects despite me not wanting to be a guy. i wanna be like my dad but better and also a girl lol

[mossy thicket]

Yeah

I know he's a good guy but he's giving really mixed signals

[swift spruce]

my dad gives really mixed signals too, and guys can say some really stupid stuff without thinking

but that doesn't mean they don't love you

[mossy thicket]

Progressive but also sometimes makes "that's a man!!" Comments about trans women, and then other times he says he doesn't care what others do as long as it hurts nobody

[swift spruce]

hrm....

[mossy thicket]

And well, idk how he'd react when his own child turns out to be trans

[swift spruce]

my grandma used to be pretty phobic but when i came out she completely changed her tune

i'm not saying that'll happen for you but it can happen

i really hope it goes well for you beetle

[mossy thicket]

I feel like he's also scared becuase I've said before that I don't feel like a girl, and he reacted pretty worried

Like maybe sometjing will go wrong and that I'll destroy my body with surgeries and stuff

I don't think he's very educated in trans care

[swift spruce]

fear rules a lot of people

don't let yourself be one of them

you got this ❤️

[mossy thicket]

I'm not scared of being trans, I used but not anymore

Just scared the only people I really love won't love me for who I am

[frosty sky]

trans is the hardest thing to be since the beginning of time

It's life but ultra mega hardcore

[mossy thicket]

I'm on extreme hardcore mode becuase I'm also autistic

I'm French too which is so much harder/j

[frosty sky]

Im melanated in AMERICA doing ts

Mines a bit tougher...

[swift spruce]

true

france evil

[mossy thicket]

Ultra extreme hardcore mode

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/madoka-magica-madoka-magica-anime-anime-girl-gif-25225313

Fortunately online, no one can tell a thing

[mossy thicket]

Wish that was the case irl

I wish people minded their own fucking business

I haven't experienced first hand discrimination irl because I live under a rock and also never talk to strangers

[frosty sky]

I never get bullied IRL because almost same thing

no I'm hostile AF

my aura scares people

[mossy thicket]

People wre generaly not that confrontational in my country though

And also for some reason people are kinda scared of me LOL

I pass pretty well

How do I know this? Old people avoid me on the street LMAO

[solid oasis]

i keep seeing this on yt

[runic fable]

yeah and it's a cia psycho weapon

[candid ore]

hrt consultation appointment MADE i am WINNING except for the fact that i need BOTH PARENTS TO CONSENT and my dad is TRANSPHOBIC

[scenic falcon]

bruh why would they make you need consent from ur parent?? like what if you're not in a safe environment and your parents jump you for being trans?

[magic verge]

the way that the family is structured in capitalist society is that children are the property of the parent, and that's why there's always emphasis on the "parents' rights" with regards to children being taught about lgbt stuff or sex education vs. a child's right to selfhood and autonomy

worst case scenario diy is an option though idk how in depth we can talk about that here

[candid ore]

i thought it was just one parent but shocker! it's not so now i have to tell my dad he needs to consent to what he believes is his sweet little girl mutilating her body yayyy but at least i have a chance

im only 16 so at least theres a WAY for me to get hrt before im 18 because i have severe dysphoria :')

[candid ore]

also, on the topic of diy, my mother is very disapproving of diy hrt and because she knows about my identity and desperation she would figure it out so i dont even want to try with the risk of that :'P

(additionally i am unsure if there is a way to diy t aside from injections and i have a SEVERE fear of needles and would be physically unable to do it myself)

[tropic zenith]

they never learn even as they burn why this was their own damn fault

[elder saffron]

I really wanna learn to sing but I feel like its hard to do while also maintaining a feminine voice too.

[swift spruce]

it is but singing can also help with voice training

[elder saffron]

Any advice?

[swift spruce]

tbh I wouldn't be the best at giving advice, i hardly voice train and i'm okay with my singing voice being masculine

my biggest thing that has helped me throughout my transition is not giving a shit anymore

i almost died last year like 3 times and that kinda made me realize i don't give a fuck what ppl think

[magic verge]

my partner has a pdf somewhere specifically on voice training for trans singers, i can ask her for it when she gets out of work

[elder saffron]

Yessss please id appreciate that so much

[swift spruce]

that sounds very useful

[frosty sky]

I gotta lock in

I need my performing voice to sound more than Machine Girl level ngl

Today I listened to my old songs that I made before training my voice

[grand hearth]

Blood donation freebies actually kinda dope

Keeps my hematocrit down and someone gets needed blood ^_^ supposedly anyway

[magic verge]

https://mega.nz/file/rpRikarY#mzDv8AjuJ-TWqy1YFglYt5HGVyk1Oa9mkPCSI931Xd0 here it is!! putting it here for anybody else who may be interested (pdf version of the singing teacher's guide to transgender voices)

shady ass link i know i promise i'm not giving anybody a virus

[elder saffron]

Ive been wanting to donate plasma especially after all the stuff Ive learned from Ironmouse

[elder saffron]

My computer bursted into flames, and my house was taken by the IRS. 0/10

[magic verge]

FUUUUUCK

[elder saffron]

[magic verge]

https://tenor.com/view/crying-emoji-gif-21922016

[elder saffron]

Memeing aside thank you so much and tell your partner thanks too for sharing this

[magic verge]

anytime!! my partner was studying to be a speech language pathologist so they have a few resources on trans voice training :3

[elder saffron]

I wonder if anyone can pin that link to so its easier to find in the future?

[magic verge]

hmm <@&725847782728007791> sorry for ping but could one of y'all pin this for easy access? please and thank you!

[magic verge]

muchly appreciated

as an aside, for any of the transfems in here who are on spiro/have had experience w it, do y'all have any advice for the exhaustion? the wife has been very very tired and i think it's his spiro that's bringing it on, i know that it's a common side effect.. she's probably going to talk to her doctor about maybe adjusting her regimen in a few months but in the meantime idk if there's any way to deal with it besides that

for reference they have been on it for like 5 months? dunno if it diminishes after a while of being on it

her levels were also quite low last time they were checked out so i don't think that's helping x_x

[elder saffron]

When I was on spiro before switching to injections and being able to do mono therapy the tiredness mainly stimmed from low E but once things started to fall into range I started to feel so much better

[magic verge]

makes sense! ty for ur input

[frosty sky]

Blud actually could have sent that directly.

I got hit by the wall...

lmfao

nevermind

I got it

here for direct >_<

[magic verge]

i didn't realize that the file was small enough for me to send directly, and my partner didn't want to link directly to her google drive

sorry?

[swift spruce]

thank you for sharing this with everyone, misha :)

you did good

[magic verge]

ty ~_~ apologies if anybody is running into issues with accessing it i didn't have to deal with the encryption key popup when i was initially checking the link

[frosty sky]

https://tenor.com/view/shrug-smug-smile-miss-kobayashi-kobayashisan-chi-no-maid-dragon-gif-13119038

[elder saffron]

It worked perfectly fine when I went to it, but I dont think you needed to be rude about it (at least to me it seemed a bit rude)

[loud ridge]

IM SOBBING

[magic verge]

jokes on them, your deeper voice is now your normal voice

[loud ridge]

I’ve never thought of it like that

[magic verge]

if you're forgetting what your normal voice sounds like it seems like you've become so used to speaking in that way that it comes naturally!

[frosty sky]

Normal voice? No such thing!

[frosty sky]

Sowwwy :p

[elder saffron]

It's all good

[magic verge]

she slept all day today before having to go to work and she was STILL tired 😭

so they wanna get off of spiro asap

[runic fable]

Came out to my parents as trans a bit ago and apparently they think i’m just confused because i didn’t “show the signs” earlier in my life and as a result have not been calling me by my name or pronouns 🫠

[elder saffron]

I hate that

Not everyone shows "signs"

I for instance just couldnt understand things about myself and it wasnt until I was 16 with unrestricted internet access that I was finally able to look into why I felt the way I felt. My girlfriend didnt realize she was until her late 20s after using VRchat during the covid lockdowns.

Like I always did my best to not express myself in a way that might get me side eyed by my friends or parents....parents especially due to how religious they were

[runic fable]

They think i’m actually non binary because they know my gender better than me apparently and my transness is just me expressing how i can’t fit in because autism or something

[elder saffron]

💀 "youre not this trans youre this trans instead" HUH

[runic fable]

Bro i don’t get it either 😭

[elder saffron]

It sounds like youre pulling the stereotyping crap on you

[runic fable]

i know it could be worse for me, especially since i’m in the religious south of america, but this is still far from ideal

[elder saffron]

The best you can do is safely stand your ground and try to educate them if possible

[runic fable]

Understood sister

[elder saffron]

I gotta ask for some advice. So a coworker (who I barely know btw) has called me buddy a few times....is this something some guys call women? Am I being subtlety misgendered by them if they even know I'm trans at all??

I've ignored it when he's called me this a few times but should I ask him about it? Would it look weird on me if I did question it?

[runic fable]

i personally call anyone buddy but mostly as a joke, but if this is someone you barely know it may be something else

[winter comet]

i'd say try to see if he calls any other woman buddy on a regular basis but either way even if he has no ill intent behind it if you don't like it you could ask him not to
i don't think buddy is particularly masculine inherently but a lot of cishet dudes tend to not use really familiar terms with women because society is weird

[frosty sky]

Reject society

Embrace

uhh

https://tenor.com/view/madoka-magica-confused-gif-14832856620648768263

Embrace Identity

[elder saffron]

https://tenor.com/view/we-live-in-a-society-society-joker-gamers-rise-up-gang-weed-gif-13919217

[misty harness]

staying in rural CA over thanksgiving so i can meet my wife's family. its an art town in the mountains so its not as bad as youd think, but im still getting a lot of weird looks. i almost forgot how that felt being in seattle, but ive gotten so used to being unremarkable/invisible in public despite not caring about passing

doesnt help a bunch of tourists are here though

a like 8 year old went up to me while i was in line at the donut place and asked "are you a girl or a boy" and that was awkward as fuck

esp since i later found out the owner of the donut place is a qanon nutjob 😵‍💫

[frosty sky]

guys right now, in reality, i do not pass at all. But wouldn't it be weird if i use that to my advantage mentally that i am in a big hard shell waiting to be broken to pieces, even after I get through the process of actually passing?!

[left rivet]

Wdym by being a shell? Is that a good or bad thing?

[frosty sky]

Depends on the context lmao

[grand hearth]

t time t time

[bronze ocean]

like you're inside a hard shell

like an..

eg....

[frosty sky]

In real life, I am absolutely an egg.

NOT!!!

But more of a snake who is trying to shed skin.

[bronze ocean]

yeah i feel you

i think its a pretty good way to conceptualize a situation like that

[frosty sky]

Recently i figureed out how to turn my bitmoji into a real girl

after not knowing for some years lmfao

Boosted me a lil

Now i need a method on how to do it

In real life.

;3

Im only lucky I get good clothes now

I need good body when im Older ^_^