So, just to preface, I already know the solution (or rather, "solution") to this problem. My question is more along the lines of why this error happens.
When accessing the HTTPS site, it produces an error saying the site doesn't support HTTP. Apparently this is a somewhat niche problem in Azure that's resolved by disabling a security setting which forces HTTPS in the storage account settings. And that recommendation comes from multiple sources.
However, my problem is none of those sources explain why I should be disabling that or what the side effects are. It seems more like treating the symptom instead of the cause.
Strangely, the website does seem to intermittently function even with that option enabled. I have tried disabling that option and can confirm it does work, but I'd rather not disable security features unnecessarily. Any advice or input?