#Sales Pitch...does it make you want to check out BCCsArt?

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

proven wave
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Why settle for a mass-produced, generic print when you can own a truly original and personalized work of art?

Breanna Cole, Owner and Founder of BCCsArt, is dedicated to providing high-quality, memorable, innovative, and conversation-sparking art pieces. Not only will you be adding beautiful and eye-catching artwork to your space, but you will also be supporting a local and independent artist. With a handmade piece, you can be sure that you won't find anything like it anywhere else!

Elevate your space beyond mere decoration, and allow your walls to be the stage. Make a statement with BCCsArt artisanal prints, illustrations, paintings, and even jewelry–BCCsArt has what you and your space needs to be exceptional! Each custom piece is crafted with passion and unrivaled attention to detail, ensuring that no two pieces are exactly alike, and that every artwork exceeds your expectations in quality and mastery.

Transform yourself and revolutionize your space with a masterpiece.

www.bccsart.art

chilly shell
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Which part of the design are we giving feedback on

proven wave
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Anything you feel needs work. I want to know if it makes you want to buy, if its working/not working, what could I change to make it more interesting

mild patio
# proven wave Why settle for a mass-produced, generic print when you can own a truly original ...

At first glance, the copywriting seems quite decent, but when you read it carefully, it lacks relevance and connection to the audience. What you are writing here is similar to how advertisements would be written in the late 80s or early 90s, but we are in 2023, and consumers are constantly asking the question: what is in it for me?

From the piece itself, it seems that your USP is: BCCsArt is providing unique art pieces from local & independent artists and is also supporting them. The issue here is you are not necessarily conveying the benefits of your service. Remember that story in your Copywriting 101 class: a customer is not looking for a drill. They are looking for a tool to create a hole so that they can hang pictures of their most happy memory.

Similarly, when customers are looking for house decoration or art pieces, they are not looking for those pieces, but rather, they are looking for something to express who they are as a person or something to help them stamp the space as their own. Of course, there are many other ways to look at it, but the point is you have to look past what you are selling and think of what your service can do for your customers. You can also apply the same line of thinking for the "we support local & independent artists" part. Try to think of how that idea can seem appealing to the customers. Go one step further.

Your CTA is also not strong enough. Since in the body copy, you didn't manage to explain your products could help the customer, the "Transform yourself" bit is meaningless. It raises the question: how does this help me to transform myself?? You are also putting a lot of emphasis on how unique the art pieces are but not necessarily describing how they can be a masterpiece. The sentence is also too long, difficult to remember, and also doesn't encourage the customer to take action.

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A slight note: Design Buddies is a community where designers gather and not exactly copywriters. You may also want to consider joining copywriting communities and ask for suggestions from there. I think it would be more efficient that way.

proven wave
mild patio
# proven wave I greatly appreciate your feedback! I have never taken a copywriting course, and...

If you are interested in Copywriting, try reading The Copywriter’s Handbook by Robert W. Bly
Words that Sell by Richard Bayan is also a good book to look at.

Or if you want something more advanced and witty, try Hey Whipple, Squeeze This by Luke Sullivan

Either way, wish you best of luck and if you look around, Discord has a lot of different communities geared toward different niches so there should be a nice Copywriting community somewhere. You can search for it on Google or on Discord's Server list: https://discord.com/servers

daring olive
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my main issue is probably the nft-y vibe

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which carries through into, as minh ly said, the feeling that you're expecting people to want to say '1 original artwork please!'

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the artwork for purchase section doesn't make clear which artworks have the originals still available

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ideally it's literally just a single page simple online shop of available artwork, maybe showing sold artwork as a teaser, with prices upfront

daring olive
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also with the mention of Popl (no idea what that is even after visiting their website, surely it's just another payment processor?) and the pitch sounding like a business rather than sales pitch

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like you're telling me how what you're doing will make you successful rather than why i should buy it

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also are you making all the art?

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also your about me PDF has BRAND NAME in the top left and bottom right