#Can't decide whether to breakup or not

16 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

undone niche
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When my ex of 9 months broke up with me I gave myself no time to recover or work on myself which adds to how I feel so worn out in my relationship now and it's one of my biggest regrets I've made this year. My girlfriend's mom apparently also overheard the entire call that we had 3 days ago and she's apparently upset and I made my girlfriend cry accidently all night because of the talk we had and I feel so bad about it but the thought of trying to rebuild those relationships with them feels too much work and I don't want to do that.

I asked some of my friends for advice on this and they told me to write things out (this was on thursday) and view it on saturday (today) to see if this is something I still want to do.

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This is what I wrote (aka reasons why I want to breakup with my girlfriend):
I’m at a point where now that I hurt you and I upset your mom, the realization of knowing that if I stay, I will have to put in work to rebuild those relationships, seems too much for me and I don’t want to put in the effort anymore.
I just don’t want to put in the work anymore and I feel like you deserve a guy who will put in the work no matter what.
And even if you start and try to put in more work in the relationship to try and balance this, then the relationship would start to become one sided and I know how that feels so I wouldn’t want that for you. This relationship I feel like is already becoming one sided and that is just unfair for you.
I just feel like we’re going in different paths with our lives and we need to focus on that.
I’m starting to get to a point in my life where I want to start focusing on myself and working on myself because I haven’t given myself the time to do that, especially since I never did that after my past relationship.
I think I've just lost feelings and don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.
I think this relationship isn’t going to work out and I don’t want to keep investing effort,
I think over time my feelings have changed,
The relationship feels one-sided and I feel like I keep backpedaling on a lot of things to try and maintain this relationship which in the end is not what I want.

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That is just the outline of some of the reasons and I guess the reason I'm writing this is because I just need someone outside of my friend group to tell me this is just something that I have to do and I can't back out of this or else this is going to end badly and hurt both me and my girlfriend.

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It's just that I don't want to hurt her but I won't mind it if she blames me for everything. I would prefer to be the bad guy and have her be mad at me than be mad at herself

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I also feel bad since her mom did a lot of driving for us (we live 30 minutes apart) and her mom drove her to my house a lot to drop her off and so I feel kind of in-debted to date and stay with her daughter, and to treat her well.

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I don't know though. My brain is going through a lot of thoughts right now

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If I do go thourgh with this then it will probably be tomorrow

sleek estuary
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That’s wild to date someone just because you want to move one and get one as fast as possible

undone niche
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not my brightest idea

sleek estuary
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And to then drag it for 9 months

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But yes break up

undone niche
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also not my brightest idea

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yeah.. you definitely right

sleek estuary
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It was a mistake but idk how she’ll react

undone niche
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I think I lowkey jsut needed to write this out

sleek estuary