#need help with what i should do

57 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

near locust
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Back when i was younger a few years ago i liked this girl a lot so i tried and got rejected, it was a bit stupid and it was on me i was kind of still not really taking care of myself and still growing up. after a few years though i sort of developed myself and actually grew meaning i have hobbies and know how to actually talk to people, so again after all this time surprisingly i still found that girl attractive but this time she already had a boyfriend of a few months, it kinda sucked but that’s life so i just forgot about it. eventually i come across this other girl, she had everything i looked for in a girl and i decided to try and we started dating. it’s been a wonderful year and i basically have no complaints about it. theres just two main problems id narrow down that aren’t her fault. her family is much different from mine culturally, we are both european but it’s still very different. in comparison to the old girl who’s family i knew since i was good friends with her brother. theyre really nice people and much more something i prefer. another problem was the lack of common interests, now that’s it’s been a year we really struggle to actually do cool things together because our ideas are quite different. which really sucks because it ends up being the fact li don’t really wanna hang out and she does leading to me just feeling bad just causing more problems.

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now more to current context, everyone’s going to uni soon meaning yeah basically most couples will breakup, probably including mine and theres basically nothing to stop it. recently i also been at gathering without my gf but that old girl was there and i just couldn’t help but realize how pretty she was and i felt like i missed out. she doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore so now i’m just stuck. should i breakup and try with that girl again? or do i just carry on like the good that i have now but risk regretting not trying forever.

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need help with what i should do

near locust
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does this make me sound like a bad person

foggy thistle
near locust
foggy thistle
winter lance
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I think its better to break up w your current gf..actually idm this issue like different interest thing cuz its something you can work with your gf and build more stronger bond I suppose..and cultural difference you can still work on that too I think..

winter lance
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She might also have flaws

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That you dont know

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Brother just break up w this current "gf"

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I think that's best for your future asw..cuz you might end up hurting her in the end

near locust
winter lance
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Its kinda uhm bad that you still feel have feelings for the old

near locust
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i know it is and i kinda feel like an ass hole about it, even if we do breakup i doubt i’d even try anything with that old girl.

winter lance
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Well time will tell

near locust
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if it would be anything it would just be something short to get rid of any regret i might have in the future of never trying. i don’t think i’m ready to actually date anyone now that i think about it. i actively know i’m not the best partner and probably should give up but i’m just so hooked on this idea of being cared for.

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my dads dead and my mom isn’t a good person i genuinely have no one anymore to support me mentally or just be someone i can rely on.

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i’m not mentally strong aswell, i probably have some kind of mental health disorder that’s what i’ve always been told but i’m not sure.

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i struggle to find motivation for basic things. i just want to be able to be more independent and not have to rely on support from others to actually be happy

winter lance
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Well then I think your surrounding is kinda bad

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So you have to cut off the ppl around you or maintain a distance

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Just trust your gutt feeling and positive about yourself

near locust
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i know once i move out i’ll either fix everything wrong with me or i’ll be dead

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i despise existing in my current situation

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i just get jealous of others and can’t find anything to be appreciative that i have

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i can’t sleep eat or do anything properly most of the time

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and when people come boast to me about their achievements i just want to die

winter lance
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Ykw you have to break up w her and invest more time on yourself do gym talk to ppl more

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And I think its better not to CHOOSE the old one asw

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Just be chill w yourself there might be something that you are good at

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So dont compare yourseld

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Or think about getting ded

near locust
winter lance
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Are you free at home and if they call you whenever or wherever to go will you go..like are you that free???

near locust
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there isn’t anyone else really, ive basically felt like this my whole life whichever friend group ive been a part of.

near locust
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i don’t really do anything all day

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i basically just spend my time doing nothing or playing games

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i just try to keep myself as distracted as possible so i have to think less

winter lance
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For now I just think that its better to talk to your girl about what you are feeling and situation properly..I wont say to do break up and stuff..tell her that you need a break and you need to work on yourself..like try to find what you actually like..and what you want to do w your life

near locust
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the thing is a break now is basically a breakup. everyone’s going to uni very soon basically after summer. so there isn’t a lot of time left. if i take a break she’ll be gone and so will i and we probably won’t be able to get back together

winter lance
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So maybe she might understand you situation and might stay

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W you

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If she stays shes yours

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If she doesn't then you will find someone better

near locust
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we will live in two completely different countries, this has been briefly mentioned before and it’s come to the semi conclusion of yeah we probably will split up. ive also always felt like a burden to her for making her constantly worry about me and id feel 30 times worse if it would also affect her when she has her own life going on in a different country

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man i miss my dad. he was the only one who was actually nice to me unconditionally. he wad a bit of a bum overweight and an alcoholic but he tried his best. i genuinely do hope the after life is real sometimes. theres people i’d like to see again and i hope that’s a possibility

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i’m such a damn bad boyfriend i fucking hate myself. i’m a shit person aswell i can’t even take care of myself

winter lance
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DONT THINK LIKE DAT

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If she still wants to be w you..anyways you guys will be in 2 different countries defo you will get enough time to invest in yourself..

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So use that

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Be better for her..if she wants to stay w you