I need advice

[white cosmos]

I am not really good at explaining but I've been dating this guy for 3 months already and its also online. We both have our mental health issue but I feel like most of the time we talk he is usually venting. I dont really vent but when I do he just blows me off almost ignoring the whole topic. I am slowly starting to lose feelings but everytime I try to talk to him about maybe break up, something bad is happening to him in real life. And he even brought up about suicide. He made me go into dark places when he said anything I do would never help him so I feel so useless but I really want to help him. I would go the extra mile to help him. I have no idea on how to tell him that I want to break up with him without him feeling guilty or suicidal.

[wispy swan]

Can you explain a bit about him blowing off the whole topic ?

[white cosmos]

When i would talk about it he would say 'awh' then change the subject immediately after saying awh

[wispy swan]

Can you give me an example of what kind of convo it would be

Because it really depends on the text if his reaction is appropriate

[white cosmos]

I would talk about me sh and stuggling on to stop it and other times would be the times I get emotional abuse from my family when they get yell and insult me for no reason

[wispy swan]

Umm that’s concerning. A stranger on discord is one thing but he is your boyfriend . You have to have a honest conversation with him abt these stuff

How can he vent while not providing support back

[white cosmos]

I only tried once and he started threatening that he would kill himself because I 'hurt his feelings' but I know him. He just doesn't wanna be confronted.

I could try talking to him again about it

[wispy swan]

Oh my days that’s very very bad

He is trying to make you feel bad etc

Why is he doing that

[white cosmos]

I honestly dont know why

[wispy swan]

He should find some professional help . He is not your responsibility

This guy threatens to do harm to himself or off so you stay

[white cosmos]

He told me he couldn't so I searched up free therapy if there was any and I looked for anything that could help but he rejected everything I suggested

[white cosmos]

Its just making me not like him anymore but im scared what he says will come true

[wispy swan]

That’s on him then

[wispy swan]

Honestly I wouldn’t care at all that’s his life , I’m not going to make my life miserable for someone so they can take advantage

But how did y’all get together tho

[white cosmos]

We were like best friends and I started liking him and he asked me out randomly so I said yes obviously but ever since we got to together he changed A LOT

[wispy swan]

Best friends for how long

And everything was fine ?

And it’s irl or online

[white cosmos]

Its online and best friend for 6 month but we got super close really fast. We knew everything about each other.

[wispy swan]

And chemistry ?

It’s kinda weird how he can change from nice person to that

Could be him making an facade

[white cosmos]

Its clear that he likes me a lot but recently I've been questioning if it is just all a lie

[white cosmos]

I know he was dating a girl then the very next day he asked me out and he kept bring up his ex and saying how he missed her and venting about still having feelings. I haven't really focus on it til now but im still questioning it

[wispy swan]

That’s sus

Think abt it he is with you but misses his gf

Then what is he doing with you

[white cosmos]

I could probably be the replacement

Or something to like block his emotions from the grief of his girlfriend

[wispy swan]

Yes exactly

I think he just uses you sadly

Do you want to break up with him ? Let’s ignore the fact that he threatens himself

[white cosmos]

Well sometimes he shows affection which i really love about him but others times I feel like I should because of the many red flags he shows

[wispy swan]

Affection doesn’t mean anything honestly

If you can make the switch of you deciding to break up with him that’s already half of the step

And also it’s isn’t worth it yk to stay

If you put yourself first it’s best to leave

[white cosmos]

I should have a talk to him about it tonight and hopefully it'll turn out good

[wispy swan]

Wouldn’t he just deflect and start whining ?

Just make your position very clear to him and don’t change it , doesn’t matter whatever tactics he is trying to use on you

I hope it turns out good

[white cosmos]

Thanks. I just gotta act tough, break up with him and don't doubt myself

Thanks for the advice. I really appreciate it! ❤️