surreal pumice
Just recently me and my boyfriend broke up, we had a healthy relationship for most of the time, but we argued a lot, I don’t want to make myself seem like a saint, nor do I want to make him look like a monster, he just couldn’t change when I asked him to, and he had anger issues during arguments, when we fought, I stopped being the little girl he loved and became an opponent he needed to defeat. I cried very often and became so sensitive that now almost anything makes me cry.
Over the past months, we argued at least once every 2 days, and everything slowly broke me, my body got unresponsive from exhaustion. For 1,5 weeks before the breakup, I got dry with him and could barely talk, but I still tried to stay strong for us. Three days ago, he asked whats up w me, and I told him I wanted him to understand why I felt this way. He got mad because he wanted me to explain everything directly.
Ive always told him how I felt, but most of the time he either thought I was “painting him worse than he actually is,” turned it into an argument, or nothing changed afterward. I only asked for as much as he could give, but he said my needs were too much and even told me I could “find someone better.” Then he sent a long text saying neither of us felt loved anymore and that we should end things.
We almost broke up before but always fought for each other, this time, I just couldn’t take it anymore. After saying goodbye, I blocked him everywhere except TikTok. Later he apologized, said he didn’t mean it, and begged me to talk. Eventually we did, and now he keeps promising he’ll change and make everything better.
he’s not a bad person, he treated me kinder than anyone else ever has. I still love and care for him deeply, but I don’t think I want a relationship anymore. I’m exhausted. Now all the kind words I wanted to hear for so long are finally being said, and it overwhelms me. I just want to feel safe and calm again instead of constantly anxious.
Please I really need an advice
cobalt garnet
keen spruce