i first thought that she was in a phase where shes just had enough of what shes been through and i really want to help her so much. I never been able to be alone with her and shes just scared of me in some way which made me concerned about her, all we ever do when were at school is just taking glances of eachother in the classroom, but something to me cant let the gods decide. All i need is courage and faith in myself, i dont want her to do this to herself, shes the only love i ever get, shes a person who chose me, i admire her with my heart.
#my gf wants to go above (like where people go when they fade out)
fervent wharf
earnest patio
i first thought that she was in a phase where shes just had enough of what shes ...
If all you do is glances how are you together then?
fervent wharf
well
her friend
went to me
i was sitting alone
and she brought a paper to me
and told me
that she (my gf) wanted my number
so thats the legacy
earnest patio
so thats the legacy
So y’all only text then or how does it work
earnest patio
shes scared to approach me
That’s concerning . Does she go to specialists to help her
Like it’s really bad
earnest patio
but she didnt like thatr
Wdym she didn’t like that
fervent wharf
she just didnt say yea
earnest patio
she just didnt say yea
Then idk what to do . The only way is her to get professional help
fervent wharf
oh
earnest patio
Unless you put an effort into helping her but only the people close to her I guess
earnest patio
wait how much is a therapist
Depends on country
fervent wharf
and shes also not really feeling anything thats something to why she wants to do this
i already told her that
love doesnt have to be everything about someone
but that doesnt empathize her
earnest patio
and shes also not really feeling anything thats something to why she wants to do...
Wdym not feeling anything ? Like no happiness , anger , etc
earnest patio
shes not feeling anything for me really
Well yeah wanting someone’s number without knowing them is statistically almost zero for it to be a good relationship
fervent wharf
but i got to learn about her
i known her sense 3rd grade
and now im in highschool
earnest patio
but i got to learn about her
So that doesn’t actually mean anything
fervent wharf
what are you trying to say?
earnest patio
what are you trying to say?
That means y’all weren’t close enough to know if it was right to be together or not
fervent wharf
well she was pretty close
earnest patio
well she was pretty close
You said she didn’t dare to talk to you
earnest patio
yea she didnt
How can you know her then
twilit portal
I dont think the focus right now is the relationship, but her safety and that you care for her
earnest patio
I dont think the focus right now is the relationship, but her safety and that yo...
She doesn’t care abt him what should he do then
She doesn’t want professional help
twilit portal
She doesn’t care abt him what should he do then
she doesnt outright feel that way
I know
earnest patio
its just she doesnt feel enough love
So like she doesn’t receive enough love ?
twilit portal
you dont have to go that way
earnest patio
im a virgin
What does that have to do with love
twilit portal
you’re still young
earnest patio
it proves that shes not getting love
That doesn’t make sense tho
twilit portal
it proves that shes not getting love
it doesnt prove that at all, you can still show her love in other ways
earnest patio
that im not doing anything in person
Are you saying that or she told you to do it
fervent wharf
saying that
twilit portal
my partner is also someone dealing with mental health issues, do you want to know the ways I help him?
fervent wharf
sure
twilit portal
for starters does she spiral down when a problem comes
fervent wharf
hm
twilit portal
and does she goes to you to rant about it
fervent wharf
she doesnt go to me at all rarely
twilit portal
so im guessing you’re feeling stuck in the place you are now and not knowing how to approach her?
fervent wharf
yes
fervent wharf
we sit far apart
twilit portal
something like,
I hope you ate this morning, and I hope your day goes well :)
fervent wharf
thats kinda weird
twilit portal
we sit far apart
muster up asking other people
twilit portal
thats kinda weird
how so
fervent wharf
but no comment
twilit portal
then you can always alter the note to however youre feeling. adding context is good too
instead of it being straight to the point
add,
hey I havent been able to talk to you but I figured this note could be the way. I hope youre doing okay and know that I’m here for you, either as a partner or a friend
again alter it as you want to
my partner has also distanced himself before and offering to be there as a friend can help
the thing is right now, anything that you do has its risks
your main goal right now, as I understand, is to care for her
and so, there will be things that you do for her thats out of the norm
because youre trying to get her out of that space, closing the gap between the two of you
twilit portal
does ur school have a school counsellor?
fervent wharf
no
twilit portal
getting therapy isnt always easy
you could convince her to go
but theres also needing parental approval
twilit portal
then that would be hard
twilit portal
yeah
and for that, you have to take the first steps
right now shes distancing herself
in order for her to feel safe with you, the distance needs to be closer
maybe the note, maybe by giving her checkup texts or maybe other ideas
to ask her to straight up talk to you might be hard
but again it depends on the situation
fervent wharf
and also
one time
in the hallway
she got convinced to hug me
she was nervous but still did it
maybe shes not that scared
she still could
fervent wharf
her friend and my friend
twilit portal
thats rlly nice
well for now, try to think of ways you could get closer to her, think of the things she likes and things to say
fervent wharf
ok
fervent wharf
right now im home schooled
twilit portal
ill see ya later
fervent wharf
uh are you open
fervent wharf
like to talk to
twilit portal
like to talk to
yeah in an hour and a half
fervent wharf
oh ok
fervent wharf
ok
rustic chasm
You can't be her saviour/ rescuer. Even if she's struggling at home, isolated or distressed, you are not in a position to "save her". That role is too heavy for anyone, especially someone the same age who barely has direct contact with her. You're not responsible for her. Right now you're probably thinking "she only has me, I can't let this happen to her, I have to help her". This will turn from affection to emotional responsibility for her well-being and this is where things become unhealthy pretty fast.
There's also a practical problem: you don't have access to her emotional reality.
No trusted adult involvement, no direct conversations/ contact, you only see each other at school and even then it's at a distance. So even though you have the best intentions, you're trying to act on very limited information and a lot of imagination that's filled with concern for her.
Even if she has difficult parents and no counselor, the correct support system is still adults and professionals, not a friend to boyfriend she barely speaks to in person.