What Do I Do?

[viral kiln]

it seems like your worries are valid but its definitely solvable

pretty much every relationship problems are solvable if there is enough love between yourselves

lying/cheating/manipulation excluded ofc

im not any expert here but these are two different mindsets and not two different moral values

you have to understand and accept the fact that if he wants to change his mindset, the change must come from him

ofc you can help him towards that path, but theres nothing you can do in directly changing it if he doesnt want to change

you have to come to terms with those facts, calm yourself down from all this excessive thinking, and see how you can plan things out in the future

thats all from me but if u wanan vent out or talk js ping me:)

[steel dust]

I can't help but think.. Am I not someone he wants to change for? Be better for? Cause shouldn't it be like that? Being better for your partner?

[tiny anvil]

But it was fine a year ago no ? What changed or smth

[tiny anvil]

That only happens if the individual isn’t deep inside the hole

If he is at a point where he can’t function properly then how did you manage to do it in the start of the relationship.

[runic cradle]

People are inherently selfish and think more about themselves and their own situation
This doesnt have to be a negative thing its just that we like to think we know ourselves the best so it makes sense that we would think about ourselves the most
In this situation he is likely so consumed by his own trauma and self hatred that he cant think straight about the people around him and what is best for the relationship
This doesnt mean he doesnt love you, he just hates himself more
This situation is honestly really sad and theres not much you can do about this since this change has to come from a change in mindset from him
I would suggest to sit him down and have a conversation with him about how this situation makes you feel and im not saying you should break up but its something i personally would consider if nothing changes and you continue to be this unhappy with your relationship

[arctic osprey]

Off topic like the pfp but

I’m the same way and surprisingly my gf is the same way you are

I understand his mentality and self hatred for himself

If you want, I can talk to him

[runic cradle]

Ty!