#Looking for someone to talk to

280 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

stone briar
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Hey man.

lilac escarp
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Hello

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Ty for your response

stone briar
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So what's up?

lilac escarp
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Things going on for almost 4 years now

stone briar
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What exactly bro? Or girl...

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Take your time. I'm sure it's important

lilac escarp
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I‘m male, 17 years old, I got a tiring job, My whole family is dead and all my friends avoid contact with me, I consume much alcohol and I also take drugs, I‘ve been backstabbed by my dead uncle and dead grandpa multiple times, I sold drugs, I get laughed at in public by others, etc

stone briar
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Yeah, that's tough

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Hold on let me process it

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Honestly I can sympathize with you. Everyone I knew abandoned me. My mom is the worst person in the world. I've been used multiple times in relationships. Honestly I can't bring myself to be happy

lilac escarp
stone briar
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But I think it's wrong of me to compare that to what you've been facing so sorry

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I had two older brothers die on me. And my sister blames me for it

lilac escarp
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I‘m so sorry to hear that

stone briar
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I'm 17 too dawg, it's tough when no one's around huh?

lilac escarp
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It‘s been this way for 4 years now

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I‘m almost used to it now

stone briar
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Mines been 6 heh

lilac escarp
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I come home, total silence

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Dang

stone briar
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I guess I can't compare that to a great deal of death

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But any amount of advice I can give you is...

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Life ain't that complicated. Tomorrow comes. And we just wish we could do something. Even though all of that is put on our shoulders.

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I've had to uplift people so many times, and they all leave me

lilac escarp
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They make me feel like the stick a blind man walks with

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When the blind man gets his vision back, he throws away his stick that has been on his side his whole time

stone briar
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Heh they make me feel like a doormat... They never care how I feel and just say man up...

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I can't eat well. I'm just too shattered inside to bring myself to...

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But I'm just taking bites of off bread.

lilac escarp
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Same

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Idk what I am

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Idk who I am

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I lost myself

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I only see myself as a criminal

stone briar
lilac escarp
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I have a criminal history I don‘t feel comfortable talking about

stone briar
lilac escarp
stone briar
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Oh. I'm sorry to hear that

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Well I hate to sound like Chat GPT but. I think you can still make it.

lilac escarp
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I‘m tired of hiding and changing my identity

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I changed everything about me to often

stone briar
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Hey look, I'm sorry if I don't sound like a mega therapist. But I'm just tryna keep ya company

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I suppose I could just listen to you

lilac escarp
stone briar
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Well then partner. Tell me about it. I'll try to answer

lilac escarp
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I really appreciate your help

lilac escarp
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My criminal history

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Currently still hiding

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If they find me, i‘m in prison for life

stone briar
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Did you have to do the things you did?, or did you do by accident?

lilac escarp
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I felt alive

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I came back from the dead

stone briar
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I'm presuming you're American? I don't really know much about law and stuff.

lilac escarp
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I‘m going to leave my country soon

stone briar
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Well. As a Christian myself. I just hope you have the strength to resist your sins. And well... Sometimes you just can't run forever. Sometimes maybe the ugly path is the right way.

lilac escarp
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Idk if the ugly way will be the right way

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Idk if it would be positive

stone briar
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Because... Look. If you can't change. Then nothing will.

lilac escarp
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Yet, i‘m still the same failure

stone briar
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You'll just be trapped in a cycle.

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I know it's hard. Or at least I try to know. But, if you aren't sure then what choice do you have?. Endless running is just more pain.

lilac escarp
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You‘re right

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I should turn myself in

stone briar
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I am? Oh.

lilac escarp
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It would be something positive

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I won‘t hurt myself or others

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I‘d die in prison, but whatever

stone briar
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Listen man. Even the worst people change.

lilac escarp
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We will all die someday

stone briar
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Don't think like that

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When... Uhh what's his name... Barabas... Yeah. Laughed at Christ as he was set free instead of Jesus when the Jews tried to kill him. He saw the pain Christ was in. And he regretted his actions.

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I'm sorry if I couldn't explain that correctly. I just saw it on a movie.

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My family is hyper religious

lilac escarp
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It makes sense what you’re saying

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Christ went through a lot of pain

stone briar
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Never see yourself as a monster. If you can still see the wrong and the right. You can still be forgiven.

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If you regretted what you did. Then you're more than what you think you are.

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Otherwise you might just see yourself wandering deeper into hell.

lilac escarp
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I will walk into hell

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I‘m the reason why my Mothers gone

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She carried me 9 months

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And i let her die

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What is wrong with me

stone briar
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I honestly don't know what to say. But I hope you'd do the right thing for once.

lilac escarp
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She was sick

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And with the money she gave me

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I bought drugs instead of he meds

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And everytime I came home

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I said the meds weren‘t there

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I lied directly into her face

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After what she was going through

stone briar
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Oh. What was her ilness?

lilac escarp
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She had something in her lungs

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I can‘t really remember

stone briar
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Tuber? Or pneumonia?

lilac escarp
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She never told me about her illness

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She only asked me to buy her meds

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I only knew she had problems with her lungs

stone briar
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If it was critical. Then I doubt those meds would've done anything...

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Was she okay? Or was it terminal?

lilac escarp
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She was quite fine

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The meds could have helped her

stone briar
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That's why it was hard for you huh?.

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I know how that feels.

lilac escarp
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I hate myself for it

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I take the blame for her death

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I will never forgive myself for it

stone briar
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My two older brothers died of pneumonia. I was the youngest and I had it too. But my family could only afford to treat me

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And now I feel like I killed both of them

lilac escarp
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I‘m so sorry

stone briar
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My sister hates me for it

lilac escarp
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That‘s not your fault

stone briar
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She said she wanted to kill me

lilac escarp
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I‘m sure your family wanted to pay for both of you

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But they only had the chance to pay for one

lilac escarp
stone briar
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My family males have like terrible lungs. My grandpa died of tuberculosis, my dad is coughing worse and worse. And I'm feeling wheezy too

lilac escarp
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I wish you and your family the best

stone briar
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I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive you

lilac escarp
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I will maybe forgive myself for the drug business I had, but I will never forgive myself for my Mothers death

stone briar
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If I'm willing to hear you out. Then hopefully you could realize that it's not over

lilac escarp
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If I hadn‘t sold drugs, I‘d be dead for almost 2 years

stone briar
lilac escarp
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Very

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Very close

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She made my day

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so much better

stone briar
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I wish I could relate... My mom... She hates me too.

lilac escarp
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On the otherhand, my father was abusive towards my mother due to depression, but he wanted the best for me

stone briar
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She wanted my older brothers to live because they could provide and she told me I was dead weight

lilac escarp
lilac escarp
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That‘s sad

stone briar
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My dad?. He's not abusive he's a great guy. But he always takes her side.

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Sometimes I feel like my own family wants me gone

lilac escarp
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I‘m not your family, but I want you to stay with me

stone briar
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Heh. You know I have to say no homo

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Jk

lilac escarp
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Deadass tho

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Some people say we have so much ahead in our future

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I mean we‘re both 17

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We aren‘t even adults yet

stone briar
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Adults are morons who think a paycheck makes them ruler of the world

lilac escarp
stone briar
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The ones with the most money have done heinous things

lilac escarp
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I get like 1k a month by my job

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I‘m still an apprentice tho

stone briar
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That's great

lilac escarp
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It was just rough

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I live alone and I have to live with 1k in a month

stone briar
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Me? I failed at every corner.

lilac escarp
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Look at me

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I let my mother die

stone briar
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Sigh. Don't put it all on yourself.

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Sometimes the world just deals us bad hands

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Sometimes a small mistake changes everything

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And sometimes one right thing can change all of it

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You never really know?

lilac escarp
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I think the right thing for me would be

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If I turn myself in

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The right thing for you would be to keep moving

stone briar
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Where are you from exactly?

lilac escarp
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Can I trust you?

stone briar
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Yeah

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I have no malice

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And I'm not from Europe

lilac escarp
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I will delete this message after tho

stone briar
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I'm front the Philippines

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Ah. Germany DLC pack

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I had to I'm sorry

lilac escarp
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Yup

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It‘s alr dw

stone briar
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Capital? Or?

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Where you live

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I see.

lilac escarp
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You won‘t tell the police tho, right?

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Some people in my dms threatened to tell them about me

stone briar
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Dawg how the hell would I even contact the police in the first place?

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I'm on the opposite end of the world

lilac escarp
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Philippines is quite nice, right?

stone briar
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Full of slums.

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Manila is like India but spanish

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And a bit American

lilac escarp
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My town is full of crazy people

stone briar
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I know how that feels...

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I can't sleep because there's always drunk morons on the street

lilac escarp
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Same😭

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Like

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I sometimes also get drunk

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But I don‘t randomly start singing erika at 1 am

stone briar
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It's 2am here and they keep talking about dicks

stone briar
lilac escarp
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Worst thing you can do in austria

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Is to talk about the yk

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Painter

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Or the old german times in general

stone briar
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Well... At least Germany was blamed for it.

lilac escarp
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You can get 5 years of prison if you draw the symbol

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They won‘t care if you‘re only 14 or 15, they will surely show u the consequences

stone briar
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Well what are you planning on doing now?

lilac escarp
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I‘m thinking about turning myself in tbh

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I would only cause more damage if I stay

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That would mean that i‘m gone forever tho

stone briar
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Sigh. I can't help or give advice to you with that.

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That won't mean you're gone forever.

lilac escarp
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I don‘t want to be in jail again tho

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I was in juvie for 6 months once

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For theft

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With 15 1/2 years

stone briar
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Tell me. How heinous was what you did in the past?

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I don't mean describe it fully.

lilac escarp
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The past was kinda harmless compared to now

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I only stole some bikes

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Repainted them

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Changed some other stuff of it

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And I sold them after

stone briar
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That's it?

lilac escarp
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That‘s the stuff I did with 15

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And I used to tune my moped

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These times were greaz

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Great

stone briar
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Just lay it on me. What you did recently... How bad was it?

lilac escarp
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I was in charge of a drug empire

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It was growing really fast

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Until I left

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I made enough money and tried to live a normal life

stone briar
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Bro. I hate to say this to ya. But you need to turn yourself in.

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I've seen what drugs can do.

lilac escarp
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I hate myself for it

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In that time I sold, I was clean, but now

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Now i‘m a total junkie

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To stupid to understand anything

stone briar
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You're smart enough to make one right decision

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So do it.

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There is no other option.

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Living eternally like this isn't what you're mom would've wanted.

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Don't create people just like your dad.

lilac escarp
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I got compared with him multiple times

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I get why

stone briar
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Then be better than him.

lilac escarp
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I‘m completely like him

stone briar
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Bro. It's time to face the wall.

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There's no other way

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That doesn't mean hurting yourself

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It's time to face it like a man.

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A man you're mother would've wanted to see

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Do it for her

lilac escarp
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I will face the consequences

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As soon as possible

stone briar
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Pray that she might forgive you

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And at least devote yourself with your pain to becoming better

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Innocent men were killed for less

lilac escarp
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Thank you for your help

stone briar
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Yeah bro

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Sometimes there's no other way. I can't lie to you

lilac escarp
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There isn‘t in this case

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And I appreciate your help

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Actually tho

stone briar
lilac escarp
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If I go on hiding

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I will just cause more problems them there already is

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If I turn myself in, I‘ll sit my time

stone briar
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Don't devalue yourself

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You're taking steps in becoming better

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For her

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And for god

lilac escarp
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I‘ll see what I can do

stone briar
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Call the authorities.

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Tell them the truth

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I'm gonna get mega banned I know it.

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Cya bro. I have to go to bed. Best wishes.