3 years. 3 years gone because she found someone else

[small pelican]

i’ve been having a really hard time dealing with my breakup, we were together for 3 years which feels like a big part of my life especially at my age, and it’s been really confusing and painful because she found someone else and it seemed to happen so quickly, i keep thinking about everything we went through together and now it makes me question if it was even real or if she had already started losing feelings before it ended, i don’t really understand how she was able to move on so fast while i still feel stuck and hurt, it’s been affecting how i see myself too because i keep wondering if i wasn’t good enough or if i did something wrong even though i don’t fully know what happened, i feel kind of replaced and that feeling has been really hard to deal with, i’m not just angry i’m mostly hurt and confused and i think i need help understanding how to process all of this and how to move forward without constantly blaming myself.

[quartz haven]

How did the breakup happen?

[small pelican]

over call

[quartz haven]

No I meant the circumstances?

[small pelican]

wym

[cosmic pasture]

he means why you ppl broke up in the first place

[quartz haven]

Yeah something like that

[cosmic pasture]

yeah i mean

did she initiate it? did u initiate it? did yall talk about it or did she just randomly leave one day and stopped talking

[quartz haven]

Thanks for that . I appreciate it

[cosmic pasture]

listen i dont wanna give u hope or anything but are you absolutely sure that in your mind you accept that its ended?

[cosmic pasture]

lmaoo dw im just tryna see what ppl are going throuhg too

its insane why is life SO complicated

[small pelican]

bc she found someone else

[quartz haven]

Its complications because of many reasons we shouldn't talk about here. Maybe after this.

[cosmic pasture]

i see

how is your life looking like rn? ppl to talk to? hobbies u wanna pursue studies and all?

[quartz haven]

How ws the relationship going before the breakup

[small pelican]

i mean it was goin good for 3 years until now

[cosmic pasture]

sorry for all the questions if its too overwhelming you shouldnt answer immediately

[small pelican]

i got this one online friend i’m talking to rn he’s helping with it

[cosmic pasture]

i see, thats great actually

the more people you have the easier its to deal with

for most ppl at least

i understand that you want to deal with your feelings and move on

some advice ive seen for a breakup i myself found pretty useful were, to deal with a breakup u actually have to deal with it

[small pelican]

wym

[cosmic pasture]

you have to feel the emotions, you have to grieve and you have to actually confront whatever ur feeling, dont try to hide it out or use distractions or numb it out^

[small pelican]

alr i’ll try that

[cosmic pasture]

and you have to tweak your mindset a little i know it takes time but once u get to it itll be easier

[small pelican]

if it all fails i might js to see a therapist

my life’s been ass rn

[cosmic pasture]

mark the relationship as 'completed' not 'over'

[cosmic pasture]

i see, thats not a bad idea at all

and then you pretty much have to act an grieve like shes dead

you have to remove anything in ur life that reminds you of her, photos, texts, accounts etc

[small pelican]

and if that’s per say my dog who she was attached to

😬

[cosmic pasture]

some things feel too harsh so what i recommned is that if you have photos just upload them all to a physical pen drive and delete everything else same typa method goes for texts and everytihng that way its too difficult to get back her photos just out of urge

[cosmic pasture]

thats okay, its your dog and you cant really do anything about it

[small pelican]

yea i get that.

[cosmic pasture]

you have to view your dog as just that, your dog, you have to build new memories with it and all

[small pelican]

alr i’ll try

[cosmic pasture]

yeah

and you have to imagine yourself when youve completely healed

that version of you, that has learned from past experiences and improved

you also have to imagine the perfect partner for you, someone who fits your type, someone who does not hurt you someone who respects your boundaries and someone who has the capacity to reassure you that they do not want another partner and that you are irreplacable

thats honestly all, and keep telling yourself youll be okay and youll be fine you just have to go through today dont worry about weeks or months from now just yet

[small pelican]

alright i’ll try all these. thank you.

[cosmic pasture]

and if you do need to vent out theres alwways venting channels here and friends to help you out

i suggest reaching out to family as well if yorue comfortable