#My parents are fighting again, and my faith is wavering

71 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

spiral rose
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It's currently holy week, and I'm from a country that highly values the Christian and/or Catholic faith. But for me, I've quietly turned to Hellenic Polytheism. I've been so much happier lately after I started following Hellenic Polytheism but I highly respect the Christian religion still (as I once was a deep follower of it myself). However, how my parents play into this, is that my dad isn't...exactly what Christians would consider "a man after God's own heart", which pisses my mom off (for good reason. He's immature and a dumbass).

Today, as I'm writing this. she is chewing him out for not leading our family in prayer during this holy week. I understand that aspect of it all, but I'm kind of...idk how to explain

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My mom's yelling is making me flinch so bad

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I feel like I was that same little kid being yelled at when I did something she deemed wrong, and Im not even the one being yelled at right now

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What's worse is that the yelling is making me double think my choice of following Hellenic Polytheism

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My mom keeps pushing to my father that he should've lead the family better, and that he SHOULD be leading the family better spiritually

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It's making me think that, maybe, if I had a better father, I'd still be following the Christian faith

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What if this was what was gonna lead me down to hell?

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But why am I even thinking of ending up at hell

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when my current religion has a different concept of the afterlife

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not the same one that the Christians hold

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I feel like I'm drowning in my own thoughts idek if I'm articulating this all right

sour knoll
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Hey there!!!

sour knoll
spiral rose
hardy meteor
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Hello there, my DMs are always open if you would like to talk always help people (not a professional nor do I work for this sever)

sour knoll
spiral rose
sour knoll
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I understand being scared of parents when they fight

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it can be a very alarming sight

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Just know that’s it not your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong

hardy meteor
spiral rose
hardy meteor
spiral rose
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Tysmm hehe

silent tartan
spiral rose
silent tartan
spiral rose
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Yep I have headphones on rn -w-

silent tartan
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Listen , Mahatma Gandhi .
He is a person from India.

He once had a concept of 3 monkeys.
Hear no evil 🙉
See no evil 🙈
Speak no evil 🙊

And as silly as it sounds. Or maybe naive. It's is a good advice.
The type of company you usually have ends up shaping you.
So it's better to drown everything.

silent tartan
spiral rose
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I wasn't sure how to feel if I stayed in Christianity, knowing a good majority of the people who believe in the religion didn't view my existence as a queer person as something that wasnt a sin

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And I remembered the first time I tried praying to a Greek God, I prayed to Goddess Athena during a desperate exam of mine. If i failed my Philosophy exam a third time, I might have to see the teacher during summer school. I then mumbled a prayer, or a call more like.

I went "Athena, Great Goddess of wisdom and crafts, if you can hear me. Please, I promise to finish my longest pending book if I get at least a 60% on this exam"

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I hadn't reviewed and barely listened to class for that lesson

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I got an 80%

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From there, I felt the presence of the Gods all around me. I realized that, even when I refuted their existence, they were always watching over me

silent tartan
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And that presence was missing , like you never felt Jesus?

silent tartan
spiral rose
silent tartan
spiral rose
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Im not sure how to answer it either haha. I guess I just never really felt it

silent tartan
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Yes

silent tartan
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When did you discover that you're queer? If you're comfortable sharing?

spiral rose
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I was curious about it, then I looked into it more

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At first I identified as Aroace (little to no romatic or sexual attraction)

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but eventually I realized im also Non-Binary and Demi-romantic ^^

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I was around 8 or 9 years old when I realized

silent tartan
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What is demi-romantic

spiral rose
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Romantic attraction only when you're close with someone emotionally and socially, regardless of their gender identity

silent tartan
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And how is this a new identity or label .

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??

spiral rose
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Ermm I've been identifying with it since I was 10 so yeah I've been comfortable with it

silent tartan
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And non binary , what is that?
Is it that you don't feel like a male as well as female?

spiral rose
silent tartan
spiral rose
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Idk I just

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I never really felt comfortable being exclusively seen as male or exclusively seen as female

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I've always just felt like I was both or neither

silent tartan
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But what does being seen as a male or as a female means?

silent tartan
spiral rose
silent tartan
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I mean what exactly does it mean for you to be seen as a male
Or to be seen as a female.

Because I walk the road and communicate with people (not much but still enough). I never see myself as being seen a male.

Like do people see male and female differently??

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I am sorry I am at a loss.
I don't know what being seen as a male means despite being a male

spiral rose
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I guess it's more on the sense of gender norms I'd suppose

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Idk how to answer you I'm really sorry /gen

silent tartan
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And what gender norms are that ?

That men should protect and provide??

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Listen , dont take it the wrong way . But if you are taking so much time for basic questions , it means there is a lack of clarity within you.

spiral rose
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Im..sorry?? Im very busy at the moment and as I've said here, I'm quite literally mentally preoccupied by what's happening with my parents. Not only that, I'm currently trying to take notes for my Philosophy class