maladaptive daydreaming

[hazy nymph]

i feels like i daydreams alot while studying like my mind wanders alot.

• is it okay or a matter of concern?
• writing my thoughts helps me proceed ahead but im curious to know if there is anything that i need to do regarding it?
• is it true more i keep shifting my focus to the task on hand more that muscle will build cuz i had been daydreaming so much since my childhood and its so so vast i never fixed it and i m 20 now

[vivid ice]

Nah you js you need to lock in

[jagged sierra]

Daydreaming is normal, especially if you think the subject is boring or if you've done it for a long time. It's nothing to worry about.
Could you be more specific? Regarding what?
Could you give me an example.

[hazy nymph]

It's when subject is tough I day dreams and avoids it .
Regarding what I daydream is mostly about my best friend I keep thinking about her

[jagged sierra]

Well that's pretty much normal, there's nothing to worry about :)

Nothing seems off from what you tell me.

[hazy nymph]

Ty for that. Do I have ADHD?

[jagged sierra]

Daydreaming doesn't really mean you have ADHD, and I'm not that experienced regarding that. But ADHD is more your attention span and that you get distracted easily.

From what I know

If you want a ADHD test you should speak to a doctor instead.

[hazy nymph]

But I m saying that I gets distracted too frequently

I just avoids studying

[jagged sierra]

Is that the only things you avoid? Or what more makes you think you'd have ADHD?

[hazy nymph]

Thing is I think that I gets distracted easily and when I m texting friends gaming or travelling or listening to music it's fine ig

[jagged sierra]

What things do you get easily distracted from? Only studying or other things aswell?

[hazy nymph]

I don't do other things than studies and prolly just studying

[jagged sierra]

So from what you know you only get distracted/avoid studying?

[hazy nymph]

Yes

Actually I m still overthinking about my best friend

I'm not fully present here

I'm anxious ig

[jagged sierra]

If you don't mind me asking, what are you thinking about?

[hazy nymph]

We used to talk alot now we reduced it to just once or twice but now she's avoiding me and we are not even talking once ig

[jagged sierra]

once or twice a week or day?

[hazy nymph]

I m feeling so baf

Cuz I just texted her hi and it was our usual talking time daily but she's avoiding it and its 4th day she repeating herself

[hazy nymph]

Initially 10-12 times a day she backed off cuz we were emotionally attached and wanted to be independent we made it less now since a few months 2 times a day but Ig now not even once (tbh we didn't talk even once it was like she said me something then I reply after 5 hours or something) but usually we anyways used to talk two times a day (when we woke up and when we sleep)

[jagged sierra]

And how are you feeling now that she isn't texting you?

[hazy nymph]

I m hella anxious once again like wtf can't I just say her 'hey can we talk once a day' why I need to think so much

So bad cuz I miss the chat

Why is she my friend if can't even talk once a day

And its like same goes for her

[jagged sierra]

Would you say you speak to all your friends at least once a day? Even on weekends?

[hazy nymph]

She will say me hi after 12 hours from now as well and I avoids her in the same way (cuz we have df time zones) cuz I want to study and be independent

[jagged sierra]

Im not trying to protect her, beacause I know how it feels. I'm just asking.

[hazy nymph]

It's ok but it's repeating pattern since 4 days it's not just one day or two day

And I want to talk once atleast

It's not necessary at all I talk w my other friends but it's just making me anxious and I want to keep her as we used to we can't be more apart than we are rn idk how else to say

[jagged sierra]

Could it be that she's going through a hard time? That usually makes people draw back from socialising.

What if she just needs some space for herself for a bit.

[hazy nymph]

Yes that's true and I don't question why she's doing that

Prolly cuz she wants to study and maybe independent emotionally

But regardless we are not talking

[jagged sierra]

And that might only be temporary, give her some time to focus on herself and she might reach out again. Focus on yourself in the meantime.

[hazy nymph]

I m doing the same and we do not talk at all during the whole it's just I want to talk once maybe

I study all day

I just text at the end of the day

And she's avoiding that too

Even tho I can adjust to not talk at all it's not a problem for me but before I stop talking can't I just ask her that 'can we talk once?'

[jagged sierra]

I'll ask you once, do you want me to be brutally honest with you throughout this and give you my opinions or do you want me to be more supportive to you?

[hazy nymph]

Honest

[jagged sierra]

Because if I'm honest I could be a bit harsh and I'm sorry.

[hazy nymph]

No worries

[jagged sierra]

Do you believe that's the right thing? What if she thinks you're too pushy?

[hazy nymph]

I m saying cuz I heard communicating ur needs and telling ur friends that u get hurt is good ig and that's why I m saying it and If I articulate it better like 'even tho we don't talk at all and its not necessary but I just miss the chat' would be better. But regardless why can't I just say her that is that too much to ask for?

[jagged sierra]

It's not too much to ask for, I'd admire you if you told her because I honestly don't have the courage to do so.

But what if you two are just growing distant? Some friendships just die over time, especially if it's only over text.

[hazy nymph]

We do love talking tbh but it's prolly cuz we gets hurt and then we avoid other to not get hurt cuz that's why I stopped talking w her during morning

[jagged sierra]

So you stopped talking you her first?

[hazy nymph]

Yes actually we don't even used to talk once or something then I thought it's better to not talk at all during morning but then we used to talk at night but now she pushes in the morning and I pushes at night and neither of us talk at the same time

[jagged sierra]

So let me get a clearer picture.

You both talked during morning and nights
You stopped talking at mornings
She wanted to keep talking in mornings and you want nights

[hazy nymph]

She wanted to keep talks in the morning I stopped talking in the morning and yes I do want to talk at night and we both were good talking once but when I avoided her in the morning she avoiding me at night ig

[jagged sierra]

If you want to talk to her, why not talk to her in the mornings, is there anything stopping you from talking to her in the mornings?

[hazy nymph]

I just want to talk w her about this idk

[hazy nymph]

Cuz someone told me to shift your energy in studies and sacrifice the talk

And said me that 'be strict w ur schedule'

And now I don't wanna talk w her in the morning I just studies

I just want to talk to her about this cuz I really really want to talk w her and same do she ig

Why I need to minimise my needs and is it bad to say my needs to her ? Like is the theory of telling ur friends what's hurting you bad?

Why I need to be so insecure that I can't just tell her that simply and that's why prolly I pulls more cuz I don't feel secure at all

[jagged sierra]

If it you feel like it's the right thing to tell her you should. I have my reasons for thinking it's bad but that's probably just past trauma for me. I truly wish that it'll work out between the two of you.

I really don't have anything else to say right now. So I'm done for now, that is if you don't want to keep talking about something else or got more details. I'll always be here for you if something happens. I'm rooting that you'll have the best.

[hazy nymph]

Oh well ig I can talk I think that's right thing cuz I wanna feel secure but I'll take this to chatgpt first and do wtv it will say

[hazy nymph]

That's fair ty for that it means alot but yeah I will just think about it first to be honest