#my girlfriend flirted with another woman and left me because she thinks she is lesbian,

35 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

north osprey
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hi guys, kinda need advice on my situation, i dont know what to really do, i dont have a lot of friends to talk about this to, but to sum it up, My girlfriend has been acting very weird towards me these past few months, like she was being really mean and she agrees on that too, she says i did no wrong for her to act like that, she didnt know what it was and i didnt either,

I went to see my long distance girlfriend, were both in college & pretty busy people, She had a friend that she hung out with all the time, & that friend is gay or bisexual, i overheard her talking about that friend and her implying if she was hitting on her, I had to hear all of that behind a door because I sat outside while they changed, i assume she thought i was wondering off someplace else because she said those things. The point is that she said that behind my back, and i had zero clue. So I was already skeptical about this person.

Later on, she hangs out with her everyday, stays up until 3 am on a school night w her just talking, I know I shouldn't have but I called her, I was feeling horrible about things separate from what was going on but i did see that she was out of her dorm because i have her location as one should in long distance relationships. She got mad at me and said that I shouldn't have her location and whatnot, and I agreed, i wanted to be understanding towards her. Later on, this past weekend, She had me meet this friend of hers, and she was acting fine other than my girlfriend was just looking at her in a way of interest, if you know what I mean. She just had that look, and I tell her I felt a kind of way about it.

We laid down together and she didnt want me to touch her, and so i didn't but I did go through her phone that night, and see her messages with that friend and it turns out they were flirting. I woke her up and confronted her about it, I told her that its very fucked up that she could do that to me, and how I trusted her to tell me if anything flirtatious

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was going on, and she didn't, she didnt say anything at first, but she just started to cry, I was super upset, and angry, but I still love her, so i came and held her, and let her cry. I told her how I felt, how crazy it all was, and that it's hard for me to even believe she'd do anything like that. she understood, I left that same day in the morning, and when i got home I started to really explain how i feel to her, I did it harsh, but not in a way where i was yelling at her or anything, just being straight up. I wanted answers from her, and she just wasnt giving them to me. At that time it was hard.

So, sunday was just a day of reckoning for the both of us, she was saying she didnt know why she did it, and needed to figure it out, I just didn't know what I did wrong as a partner, I havent ever done her any wrong and tried to communicate the absolute best I can as long distance goes, but she was being super avoidant. Ive gotten her many gifts, flowers, plushies, i gave her hand written letters, made her playlists, all of it wasnt really ever reciprocated, i mean all i wanted was for her to communicate to me what she was up to, i didnt expect updates every 30 mins but just a general idea yaknow.

Anyway, she says now, she thinks that she's a lesbian. And honestly, that really hurt me. We were dating for an entire year and a bit of months, and we knew each other for 3-4 years. I just feel so odd about it. And she says she needs to figure things out. She's still attracted to me, but not sexually, she said that she just doesn't really like most ideas with my biological organ for intamacy, but she said she still enjoyed it, in the back of her mind she always wondered. She still is talking to the person she flirted with and i feel horrible, I want her to figure herself out but god when im still in love with her, its super hard. she wants me to be in her life too, which is hard because i dont want to be seen as a second option. If things don't work out with whatever it

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Anyway, she says now, she thinks that she's a lesbian. And honestly, that really hurt me. We were dating for an entire year and a bit of months, and we knew each other for 3-4 years. I just feel so odd about it. And she says she needs to figure things out. She's still attracted to me, but not sexually, she said that she just doesn't really like most ideas with my biological organ for intamacy, but she said she still enjoyed it, in the back of her mind she always wondered. She still is talking to the person she flirted with and i feel horrible, I want her to figure herself out but god when im still in love with her, its super hard. she wants me to be in her life too, which is hard because i dont want to be seen as a second option. If things don't work out with whatever it

I was being stubborn at first because i mean i love her so much, she was crying and told me how much she loved me and she really did appreciate me being understanding and letting her figure things out, I feel like im just stuck, I dont know what to really do, I really saw her as the love of my life and now shes just gone it feels

she has always felt this way even though her mind didn't think it, it was a conscious thing before her mental even found out about it. She told me she's always been attracted to women in that way, but i made an observation that she could never express it because of the household she was raised in, And I understood that.

this is a whole bunch lmao but this situation is so complicated, im still so in love with her while her feelings about the relationship are pretty much gone

high oasis
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heyyy

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honestly, a lot of the times when someone's not straight and are attracted to the same gender they might live in denial for some time because it can be hard to come out to the world

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that's why she might've forced herself to be w someone from the opposite gender to conform to societies norms

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or she might've been w u and the realisation slowly started to hit

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being attracted to someone but not sexually doesn't mean you're necessarily romantically attracted to them

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you can find someone good looking but not wanna be with them or see yourself sexually with them and that's normal

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it's fine

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but it doesn't make you romantically attracted to that person or gender

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that might be what was happening with her

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she finds you attractive but not in that way

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to me it seems like she's probably more comfortable with the girl

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i know it's hard especially since it's been so long

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but you should let her go

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it's good she's realised what's happening, u should see it too

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you can move on from this

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and you'll find someone truly meant for you when the time's right

north osprey
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Yeah, I know, the betrayal was therewith the flirting behind my back but I’m just glad I found out before anything happened, I would’ve been way more devastated. I just hope she realizes my struggle in letting her figure things out. How difficult it was

high oasis
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must’ve hurt really

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she will realise eventually

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but on your part i’d say go live your life now

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be happy with yourself and find peace

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you should cut contact and don’t go back even if she does reach out

north osprey
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ill do that, ofc easier said than done, but i will

north osprey
velvet kayak
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If she left u over that u dodged a shallow love

high oasis
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you should look for some self help videos on youtube from channels like Joey Kidney, Mark Darwin and Shimon Davis

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they might really help on your journey towards moving on and self love- they make videos specifically for boys

high oasis
north osprey