I'm too obsessed....

[loud zealot]

I know this entire message probably feels like i'm over reacting, but i literally havent been able to think about anything but this one series that I like. I started it without any expectations but it feels like it took over my life, because all i ever do is talk about it, psycho analyze the realationships between the characters, read fanfics about it... I literally have atleast 5 audios that are minimum 20 minutes long, which is basically just me ranting about it. I have another 45 minute audio talking about why this series is related to a different series. I also made a playlist dedicated to it, I wished happy birthday to one of the CHARACTERS on my insta story. It wouldnt be that bad if the entire series just wasnt depressing as hell. The entire plot is just so fucking depressing. I couldnt bring myself to finish the series because that just felt like it was too much, but all i read are angst fics, watch sad edits and look at sad pins. I know it sure as hell isnt hellping but i cant seem to stop. Its like a black hole, it keeps dragging me back in even if i try to leave kicking and screaming. especially one of the characters has such a depressing back story that it genuinely makes me feel like i cant breath at times whenever i think about it. I know it may not seem that bad, but genuinely i rarely cry, but this series makes me feel like ripping my insides out. I cant stop thinking about it and its all i wanna talk about, because it is so deeply textured and layered as a story that I cant begin to even unravel it.

I love it so much, enough that i cant let it go, but i know that its not good for me. I've tried to forget but i still have 15 wallpaper pairs about it, all of my friends know what it is, even when i was on vacation this was all i could think about. When i listen to music, my mind starts making animatics about this series in my brain. I cant escape. It feels like its taking over, like its swallowing me whole. And what kills me even more is that the two main characters share a bond thats probably the most accurate description of ying and yang I've ever seen. They are reflections of each other. The part thats driving me nuts is I dont know what to do with this. I dont know if i can ship them or not, but if not with each other, I cant see them with anyone else. and yet there are other characters who seem just as perfect with one of the main characters. the other main character also had a past relationship that they arent over yet. Its just... you cant call the main characters romantic because their relationship is so much deeper. but I cant see them with anyone else either.

The main characters are both guys, the homophobia from the fandom helps either. I feel like i'm driving myself up a wall because i just dont know how to explain any of what I'm feeling and I hate it.

I feel like I have to constantly fight a battle with myself to "defend" my reason for shipping the two, because honestly, there are other ships with these characters that are almost equally as good

and i feel a sinking type of feeling whenever i see those ships because it just doesnt feel right

the author made so many, and i mean SO MANY gay jokes directed at the two, and it was indirectly confirmed that the one who the mc loved the most was the second mc, and theres so much more, yet in the end theres nothing. I feel kinda empty, but their entire relationship is just so sad that i just.... ugh.

[vernal needle]

What’s the series called ?

[loud zealot]

.....

....omniscient reader's viewpoint.

[loud zealot]

orv for short

[vernal needle]

I don’t read anime but this one is interesting might gonna give it a shot . Ngl if it’s such a good series I can understand why but keep some distance from it . Thinking abt the series all the time is one thing but having posters or pictures being obsessive is another

Whenever you feel like getting a new wallpaper or smth stop the rugs if you can

[loud zealot]

..... I would uhh..... personally reccomend you not to

dont get me wrong

its an amazing story