Everyone has there problems. There's ways to work around them, and I get that. But I feel as if im always arguing with myself, wondering if im the problem, or them. I feel as if i can think clearly about everything I feel is wrong, everything that bothers me, but the moment I try to speak about it, it goes away. My mind is flooded with thoughts. Ranging from happy to suicidal. Ive always seen suicide as selfish and cowardly. I always saw it as running away from your problems. But as i get older, I realized how short life really is, and how much life can really hurt. Im no longer playing Legos and building blocks man, im working a job, trying to hold a relationship, working on school, taking courses for digital cinema production, trying to keep myself sain for the sake of my mother. all while trying to battle a dysfunctional family. Honestly shes really the only reason i feel ive stuck around this long. Even while writing this message. I had so much I wanted to vent about, but the more I type the more it goes away, until I finally settle and all the thoughts come flooding back. I feel as if my inner- consciousness speaks louder then i can, and the pain, the thoughts, all the hurt, everything i think about, i cant seem to put into words. So i become stuck, stuck in this cycle of trying to distract myself from my own thoughts. And because of that it has cause me to become very sensitive. Even a joke that someone throws at me all in good fun hurts alot of the time, and i shut down because of it. Idk if i wanna life like that all the time. I wake up, do the shit i need to, tell my ma i love her, and sleep. And the hardest part of it all is trying to hold a smile. I cant let my mother know how i feel? Shes already lost one, and shes already has a suicide scare with me once. I cant let that happen again. Im about at my 2000 character limit. So here's the question, is having thoughts about taking your own life, a single person gone, really that selfish?
#Is having thoughts of taking your own life really that selfish?
formal carbon
deft cairn
No, it's not wrong to look for a way out if all else fails.
For people in risky situations they are even provided with measures to assure an easier pass.
99% of the time however circumstances are changeable and none of this is necessary. Especially in younger people like you with many perspectives open.
Having these thoughts and speaking about that is a safety measure to get help and change that you need.
formal carbon
No, it's not wrong to look for a way out if all else fails.
For people in risky...
I see. I can agree that circumstances are changeable, but how long do I have to wait for that to happen. I used to be happy man, happy with everything, family, school, waking up to get on the games and talk with friends; and now i just dont feel that way like I used to. Ive never been scared of suicide, I've always been scared of hurting my mother, and I couldent bring myself to do that to her 💔. I mean I've been thinking like this for bout two or so years . Waiting for family to get along better, waiting to find some real friends, waiting for things to get better, and I wonder all the time on how I can speed up the process of this change that I've been looking for, but so far I wake up and its the same day different shi. I would never commit on it, cause I cant toss that burden upon my mother, because a mother should never have to bury there kids. But I still feel selfish for having these thoughts. I try to ignore them but I constantly have this subconscious voice in the back of my head always thinking about this, and sometimes I feel like that voice drowns out my own thoughts. And the way I see it, as selfish and unnecessary as i sounds, it would just be eternal peace yk? No more arguments, no more backstabbing, no more sad ness. Happiness, anger. Sorrow, nothing. Just emptiness. And I just wonder if having thoughts about it is really so selfish. And thank you for your input on this it means alot to me.
@deft cairn
<@&923393222187810846> and in the rules I know this is a sensitive topic, so if I have said anything to much please let me know 🙏 (idk if we're allowed to tag staff, so sorry if not🙏)
Im trying to keep it within reason, while within the rules.
vernal herald
Everyone has there problems. There's ways to work around them, and I get that. B...
The thought of taking your own life isn't selfish, but you don't need to answer a temporary problem with a permanent answer. Don't do something you'll regret, every flower will bloom, even if it tooks oddly long, just like the titan arum flower, it took so long to bloom yet when it time for them to bloom they get the popularity and crowd they deserve. Be your own Titan Arum if it's meant you gonna need to wait longer than its own flower to bloom 🙂
formal carbon
I appreciate that man. I really do. I love that
vernal herald
I appreciate that man. I really do. I love that
No worries!
austere solstice
<@&923393222187810846> and in the rules I know this is a sensitive topic, so if ...
Apologies for taking this long, topics like these should be spoken about really sensibly, you have done so accordingly but be careful on how some things may be worded.
I also advice you to add a TW and censor some trigger words
You can do it by typing like ||this|| so it looks ||like this||.
formal carbon
Okay very much appreciate it, I tried to be as bland as possible
<@&923393222187810846>
static smeltBOT
<@&923393222187810846>
:x: Please provide context whenever you notify staff in the server.
rose quarry
<@&923393222187810846>
Whats up?