i want to be loved too

[brittle cedar]

i just want to be loved by someone, i dont even care about who its from, but no one has ever really loved me, both my exes were fucking liars who never actually loved me. my parents never loved me cos i was and am a mistake, none of my friends love me or actually care abt me (as in platonically), my siblings dont give a fuck. like it seems like im gonna die without ever actually being loved and its even sooner cos of the ongoing stuff... but i just want to actually be loved for once and have like a girlfriend who deeply cares abt me, actually loves me for real and doesnt let my past trauma get in the way

[wooden cape]

Hey it seems like you're going through a really tough time T_T;

I understand why you want someone to make you feel loved but before you should know how "love" works. Let's not expect from someone else first but look into yourself—do YOU love yourself?

If you do then it'd be easier to control your negative thoughts, you'll be at peace. Of course, the company is important but dont except someone else to fill the void in you if you cant look after yourself first :))

[brittle cedar]

i honestly have nothing to love

abt myself

i did start loving myself when i got a gf

but all went to hell with that

[wooden cape]

Why would you depend on someone else to have some love for yourself?

It's not a trend after all—that someone comes, they make you feel loved and so you start loving yourself too. This dependency will get you nowhere, mate.

What someone can do is give you affection in a way THEY WANT, what they can't do is give you peace. That's something you should know how to do it yourself.

[brittle cedar]

i have nothing to love abt myself

[wooden cape]

Then work on yourself! Find something to love about yourself, and do things.

"I've nothing to love about myself" and "I want to stay at having nothing to love about myself" are two different things.