first date jitters!!!!

[dire sand]

sounds exciting! Can you describe how anticipating the date is making you feel nervous?

[spice pollen]

everything about it is making me nervous

[dire sand]

why do you feel nervous?

[spice pollen]

because i ave so many what ifs going around in my head

[dire sand]

Can you share an example of one of these "what ifs"?

[spice pollen]

what if i do something stupid?

[dire sand]

so what if you do?

[lean frigate]

You know the date is going to happen so what is there to be nervous about . What happens will happen

[spice pollen]

i wish i could think like that aha

[spice pollen]

it’ll be stupid

[dire sand]

how do you determine if it's stupid? Maybe it's not.

[spice pollen]

because if i think it’s stupid then i’ll just hate myself

[dire sand]

so if you think it's stupid, then it is? Is that how you're determining if it's stupid?

[spice pollen]

idk im just worried if he doesn’t like me or something

[dire sand]

You're scared of "what if", and one of those is "what if I do something stupid." But how do you decide if it's stupid or not? It isn't clear.

I don't know if you want to explore what makes you feel worried or want someone's prescence to just listen. Let me know if you want to explore it more, but otherwise, I'll default to just listening with my ears eyes!

[lean frigate]

You gotta realize that even if you did something stupid . That’s who you are as a person and if they like you it doesn’t matter to them that you think you say the wrong things .

[lean frigate]

What will happen if he doesn’t like you ? It’s not a big deal as you make it seem

[spice pollen]

i know but ofc i want him to like me because i like him, if he doesn’t like me when it doesn’t work out and that’s okay but doesn’t stop me being nervous

[spice pollen]

well what if i do something i think is stupid and then he sees it and thinks it’s stupid too?

[dire sand]

for the sake of argument, let's suppose you do something he thinks might be silly ("stupid"). Can you control what he thinks or doesn't think?

[spice pollen]

no of course not but that doesn’t stop me worrying about

[carmine tundra]

you're trying to accomplish something impossible. which is predicting and mitigating all possible outcomes so that you can be as perfect as you are

here's the thing

by pushing yourself into that position you're just putting more pressure on yourself which in turn will probably have a more negative effect

its already pushing you into anxiety

just relax. like what the other people said; whatever happens, happens.

nothing you can do about the unknown since it's not happened

be yourself

he likes you and honestly i think if you just did something he thinks is silly he wouldn't just suddenly stop liking you

humans stop liking people over consistently bad behaviour

im aware theres such thing called first impressions but if you're already going onto a date im pretty confident yall past that stage

[spice pollen]

yeah i mean we met for a little walk yesterday which was okay but it doesn’t stop me being anxious

[dire sand]

do you think it's possible to stop feeling worried?

[spice pollen]

no lol

[lean frigate]

Then that’s what is going to happen. Try to distract yourself but if it won’t go away it won’t it’s just a couple days left

[spice pollen]

yeah but also if he wants to see me again which i think he already does, it might never go away

[dire sand]

why not?

[spice pollen]

because that’s the way my brain is wired, i have an anxiety disorder

[dire sand]

you can't control how your brain is wired, but you can control how you respond. For example, we can't control if the weather will rain or snow, but we can control how we respond by choosing to stay indoors or use an umbrella. I hope this made some sense.

[carmine tundra]

Yea

[carmine tundra]

I understand u can’t just stop feeling anxious, anxiety exists more or less but you can stop thinking about it; you don’t have to occupy your mind with it

Also you’re filling your mind with pessimism but like is that doing you any good

[spice pollen]

update not even sure if the date is happening now because he keeps ignoring me and halfswiping me on snapchat