#smile and let me go

7 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

cloud temple
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i m25 since last 7 years i keep running from one place to another to find a stable life and money. I was a good student but i feel all my life was fake just i lived in illusion all the life was built on lies and now after i spend time in prison i realize it try hard to push my family up but i cant becuase you cant i dont feel emotion i dont smile i feel like its my last second i have this mental pain going on which hurt me each second. I could have had a better life but i really dont feel anything i was a good person but now its just i really dont care if someone is dying or begging or even a children. I miss my college and friends but cant even say a proper good bye each day it just feel the pain i cry in dark but you wont see tears in eyes. i waana go and when angel of death comes and say its time then i smile at them and i say lets go home... and never loook back

last tulip
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@cloud temple I hope things get better for you sir!!!! Please don't lose hope! I think you have gotten super stressed about your situation and you need to relax. Please be kind to yourself sir and try to give your best!

gloomy current
# cloud temple i m25 since last 7 years i keep running from one place to another to find a stab...

the things youve been through sound very taxing and lonely. its only natural that your brain after all the running disappointment and prison would feel numb and in pain at the same time. you see that emotional numbness youre talking about the feeling of not feeling not caring and crying without tears thats something a lot of people feel when theyve been hurt for too long. it does not mean youre broken or evil. it simply means youve been overwhelmed for too long.

i hear a few things very clearly.

you tried for your family for stability for a better life.

youre mourning the college student you were the friends you had and the life you thought you would live.

youre in mental pain all the time and a part of you wants quiet wants the fighting to end wants to rest.

that is real pain. i wont minimize it.

but i have to say that to you gently and honestly when you say that you want to go home with death and not look back that makes me think that there might be a danger in what youre doing right now. your life is important even if right now you cannot feel that.

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but i have to say that to you gently and honestly when you say that you want to go home with death and not look back that makes me think that there might be a danger in what youre doing right now. your life is important even if right now you cannot feel that.

cloud temple
last tulip