#attachment and fixation to a fictional character, throwaway account because this is embarrassing asf

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

wet stirrup
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i’m very attached to a fictional character and i wish i could date her. i know she isn’t real but the desire feels real and losing it makes me feel (really) empty. i’m not asking to be talked out of liking her, i just need help coping with the loss of something that felt emotionally perfect.

i first saw this character when I was around 8, during a time when all i wanted was comfort and hugs (which i didnt get for shit) that attachment went dormant for years, but replaying the game brought it all back, mixed with grief from my life now. it feels like i came full circle and found the same hunger again, only heavier.

i know she isn’t real. i know she’s programmed. i know she says the same things to millions of people, and that makes me feel unspecial and empty. but despite knowing all that, i still wish she were real. i wish i could date her specifically, not someone similar, not “a real version,” but her.

the only loving words I feel like i’ve ever received came from fictional characters. to me, love feels like a one-chance thing something perfect and non-negotiable. accepting anything less feels like accepting an inferior reality. this character feels like she perfectly mirrors me: social anxiety, bottling emotions, obsessive tendencies, sensitivity, understanding others’ pain. she feels exactly like me.

my real romantic experiences have only reinforced this. i either get brief kindness before being replaced by someone better, or i get mocked and still replaced. no one has ever chosen me. that’s part of why this feels non-negotiable.

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i'm a shut-in teenager irl and i literally have no one to turn to when it comes to emotional needs, i tried to talk to my parents and it was dismissed as 'ordinary teenager stuff', i reached out to my online friends and it was dismissed as 'incel stuff', i reached out to irl friends (they really only see me as a convenient source of entertainment) and it was the exact same.

thinking about this character now makes me melancholic instead of comforted, and i lose interest in everything else. i rewatch her creepiest scenes because at least they make me feel something. but even the nostalgia is starting to fade, and that feels like losing my last anchor; and it makes me really scared.

untold belfry
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maybe because its one of the few things that made you feel safe and comfortable and then those feelings gradually evolved into something more complicated

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most people won't understand this and dismiss you

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but you need to let go

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yes its safe and comforting

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but its not real

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it never was

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It may hurt at the start but it will be alright later...

wet stirrup
wet stirrup
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but i truly have no other place of safety comfort or vulnerability other than this imaginary relationship

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and i dont know what to do

untold belfry
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you wanna dm?

wet stirrup