#What did i do to deserve this treatment? Im sorry!

15 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

next hedge
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We have been together for like almost 6 months of relationship! (its a LDR) the previous 3 months was a peak of love, we had played roblox, had fun talks, vid calls and her updates throughout the day! almost like whole day she kept updating me about what she was doing! never missed to send me a good morning and night texts! so do i, we also do the same! also i helped her doin her assignments and stuffs like that whenever she gets too tired from her clg or hectic days! we used to have plans meeting ups and many many inside jokes that made us laugh straight 10 mins non stop in the vid call! we loved each other soo muchh!
but after October month she joined cheerdancing, made her so much busy, she sometimes forgets to send me a good night or morning texts... (we never had any arguments, not a single ones! all perfect!), she didnt update me... just morning and night texts and apologizing to me! same thing is happening all the time and in September she asked for my help to do her assignments! i agreed and i loved to help her! same her busy schedule and no updates that kept going on even now! we never had any casual talks since october! all the time it was her assignment assignment assignment! i didnt have a chance like to talk to her! she is on a celebrity mode like full busy and leaving a message for me to read and me leaving a message for her to read! its only 2hrs and 30mins gap from our timezones!

her birthday is on december 25th! i was planning to gift her a birthday surprise... i accessed her roblox account and i want to surprise her by adding a robux and gift her a cute avatar, after i gifted her i was about to close, but i noticed something in her chatbox in the roblox!

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that broke my heart... i never know that she was playing roblox with her ( guy ) best friend and her other classmates from her clg (i got to know abt his best friend from helping her assignment, i know his face and his name, but she didnt introduce him to me or me to him ig), she never told me that she was playing roblox, i thought she left roblox with me after september because of her clg stuffs, i was waiting for her to play with me even now but on other hand...she was playing with him since october 17th ( that was during when she joined cheerdancing),
they seemingly too close in that conversation, and ONE MOST PAINFUL.... that guy to her said in the chat "I wanna ks u so bad".... it made me soo furious and raged... how dare he say that to her? and why doesnt she tell him that she was in a relationship with me? it wasnt that hard! they are bestfriends na, they should know each other about their relationship status! that part made my heart skipped!

also i saw the date on November 27th in the chat, they are playing roblox that time! but in insta, she only texted me in the morning and at night apologizing that she was soo busy in her studies, and asking me for help in checking her assignments! she.... its just... but what did i do to deserve this? why does she lie to me? its not like im not allowing her to play with him, i just need to know what she is upto but she is not even telling me anything but being close to him and... im her boyfriend! relationship is supposed to be in touch with each other, but she didnt text and all, nothing else...! but in that good morning and night texts she mentioned "i love you so much and i miss you so much" then asking me to check her assignments, and i dont know if she used AI to text me? because that message seemingly made by an ai!

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i immediately closed my laptop, and went to bathroom... i cried.. i felt soo weak... last time i cried was 2022... but yesterday i cried so much... but making no noise.. its too weird for men to cry right? and if i cry they would laugh at it... i faced their laughter when i cry, so i stopped it but now, its starting again... i dont know how to cry...but i wish i want to ask god to clear this misunderstandings or misbeliefs!

and yesterday, i sent her a message! something small from my side... she didnt reply anything, just a reaction thats it and sent me a good morning texts today morning! and this afternoon, i still sent her a message but she didnt reply me anything! but i saw my roblox account, she is online and is playing with him! she texted him about her dad in the chatbox!

my heart couldnt bear this much pain... what am i at fault? is loving her unconditionally bad? is there a limit to love? i couldnt trust myself... i kept blaming myself! but previous 3 months she said to me that im perfect, her dream guy is me...she wouldnt never get jealous when im around, im her comfort zone, im her peace and all so many lovely things about me! but looking at now... im scared to love someone! i cant bear when someone is playing with my life like this!

i wanted to tell her how much it hurts but i kept bottling it up myself because, her birthday is coming up, she is very sensitive about her mental health i mean she can get panic attacks or anxiety attacks, such cases for her is easy to trigger! thats why i didnt want to ruin her birthday mood by telling all these to her as in why does she do this and that...

for those who is reading..im sorry...its okay if you cant read cause this is too long... my mental health is not doing good, i wasnt like this before, not exactly like a broken guy...i used to be happy and carefree guy, humorous and funniest, my family kept commenting how I changed my behaviour last few months ago!

orchid verge
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Just leave her dude its already clear ain't it?!

oak masonBOT
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fuck all that hiding, tell her that you know about the guy best friend and question her, us as a whole was in poly relationships before but our ex did some shit like that. And tried to lie about it, you might need to question her and if she can, leave her ahh

next hedge
next hedge
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Thanks y'all for reading my story... Really appreciate it🫂

orchid verge
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Telling you sorry is just an excuse cuz it worked once now it always works in her eyes

She thinks I'll just say sorry I was busy but yk where she was busy

next hedge
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She plays Roblox with him while ignoring me... Like im a choice to her

orchid verge
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Option* not a choice

orchid verge
next hedge